Well it is possible that the denial thing might come to an end. Thank you all for your words helping me understand what may be going on with my wife.
I think now my wife may have to come to grips with the fact that even though she believes there is no way she could be starting menopause because her mother and 4 sisters, according to them, didn’t go through it until they were in there 60s. On Christmas eve she woke me up in the middle of the night saying that she may be coming down with some sort of illness. It upset her because she would be leaving for a trip to CA in a couple of days to visit her parents, who aren’t doing so great, along with some of her girls friends and she was afraid of coming down with something. She said she felt “real warm” and had thrown all the blankets off herself, and said she also felt sick to her stomach along with a headache. She left our bed and went down stairs, where it is cold, and spent the rest of the night there. The next day she said she felt fine and didn’t know what was going on the night before. I did not ask her if she broke a sweat, and I don’t know if hot flashes always come with a sweat, but I’m guessing that may be what she experienced. Does this sound like her first “hot flash/power surge?
There is another change in my wife that I wonder if any of you have experienced. My wife has always loved music, but for the last 6 months she has suddenly taken a huge leap in wanting to, and listening to music. It is really kind of weird. Her long time girl friend from childhood has made her a couple of CDs, and she is constantly listening to them and other CDs she has purchased for herself. (Multiple Cat Stevens CDs believe it or not) For Christmas I bought her a CD player to have in our bedroom where she can go, get away from me and the kids, and now listen to her new CDs alone in our bedroom. She was really jazzed about the gift, and it really seemed to please her. SCORE! (The Hanae Mori perfume didn’t hurt either). Have any of you experienced anything similar with music?

Anyway; I am taking the advice of not taking it all personally, taking her lead when it comes to being around or letting her be alone, and not trying to hard to exhibit how I feel about her. The best thing before she left on her trip this morning was at Christmas dinner with the 3 boys, we were talking about some new movies coming out and she said to me, “I want to see that movie with you”. It doesn’t sound like much, but actually wanting to out in public with me right now is a big victory for me.
I will keep on keeping on, and thank you for your help. Devoted

I am so pleased for you .....it seems you have turned a corner with all this.

Best Wishes from
Jazz

Good for you and your wife! I hope everything goes more smoothly from here on out. I don't know if you ever mentioned whether your wife reads or posts to these forums. If she doesn't, please urge and invite her to. I've personally learned so much from so many different people and viewpoints that my time with peri and been made much easier. Even though her female relatives may not have entered menopause until their sixties, that doesn't necessarily mean that will be true for her. One of the greatest things she can do for herself is just to take it as it comes, feel good about herself and her entry into this new part of her life, and understand that she may be experiencing some strange feelings, etc., but that she is one of of club of many women who are going through the same thing. Sometimes its just easier to share with these same women, and get insight and help from others!

Devoted:

I am very happy for you! It sounds like that things may be on the upswing for you. Happy New Year!

Devoted, overheating at night is a common sign of peri. I experienced this for like 5 years before my periods became irregular. But my overheating did not occur with nausea and headache.

I hope you are encouraging her to read about perimenopause and full menopause. Even if she's not there yet, she will eventually be. The more she knows now, the better she'll be able to handle symptoms when they occur. I wish I had known about this web site, or had a partner who was savvy like you are !

Unfortunately, until she concludes on her own that this is happening to her, my mentioning anything having to do with this subject is off the table. She is convinced that in no way is anything like this happening to her.

Baby steps, Devoted.

I'd been flapping the blankets at night for a few years now and I'm still in peri. In fact last year we kept the fan going in the bedroom at night.

I'd get the occasional sweat and sometimes woke up with nausea, too. I chalked it up to anxiety--which is a by-product of perimeno.

I also recall a time when my body was starting its subtle changes and I mentioned it casually to my Mom. She told me I was probably starting to go through "the change" and, being in my mid 30's, went into immediate denial. To me the change meant "getting old". She said I could start to experience changes many years before the periods stopped. Wise woman. I wish I'd listened more to her. sigh.