hi all,
well, i finally got past trying herbs, other alternatives, hormones and am now on lexapro. i started 6 days ago and am just praying to hang in there until it kicks in. terrible anxiety and depression - blah!!! i'm also having days of feeling hot and prickly and it's affecting my sleep too.
it let up for a few days, but has been back the past 2 days.

i have had a very slight lift a few times in the past few days, so i am SO hoping this medication will work for me.
i have had panic my whole life, but a few months ago, peri kicked in and i have never been through anything like it!
i have faith and would love a little support.
thanks to all of you, my sisters!
hang in there!!!
xoxo
judy

Judy, I did exactly as you. Tried every way in the world to avoid meds. Finally gave in after years of horrid depression and anxiety. Lexapro was what I started with also. Felt the beginning of relief in about a week. Each week that went by gave new hope of actually feeling normal once again. Dr. also gave me Ativan, which was a real lifesaver during the waiting period for the Lexapro to fully kick in. I have not had to have the Ativan in months. Anxiety is very minimal now and if/when I do have it, it goes very quickly.

I will stay on them for the rest of my life if I have to. The anxiety alone was killing me and I am extremely thankful for the AD's!

My very best wishes to you,

bev

Hi Judy:

I am on zoloft and have been for years! I cannot imagine being without them. I still have some crappy days but they are more manageable.

My faith has been a rock in my life. Without Him I would be absolutely nowhere.

I will pray the Lexapro is the right thing for you.
Hugs,
Jeaninne

I am on Paxil, another SSRI AD and it gives me almost complete relief of anxiety and panic. I tried reducing the dosage a while back and within 3 weeks on the lower dose I had a resurgence of anxiety!! So I am not ready to stop just yet. Maybe never! I didn't see a real improvement until 5 weeks into treatment, however I started on a very low dose and gradually increased it to the prescribed amount. I wanted to avoid possible side effects.

Hang in there, you should feel better after a month....and perhaps in as little as 2 weeks.

oh, thank you all SO much!!
it has just been such a hellish ride for so many months and i have felt at the end of my rope.
it's so good to hear your stories of hope - it means so much to me!

i am going to hang in there with the lexapro and hope i actually can get my life back soon.
with all the other stuff i tried, it was such a hit and miss feeling. with this, i know that there's a very good chance it will work. as i said, i have had a TINY bit of relief already and so i'm just hanging in there!
i can barely function today and am dizzy and just counting the hours until bedtime again.
i am not going to obsess - but i so hope I sleep tonight! i know the worst thing to do is worry about sleep, but i cant help it! :-)
i am very cautiously optimistic that i will, indeed, return to planet earth in the next month or so. a month seems SO long right now, but i am committed to hanging in there.
it's just one moment at a time (forget one day!) and i have made it this far!
i also know i have to be patient. i have asked for willingness to be patient lately a lot. it's just so hard after so long of struggling and now just waiting to see if this will actually work. i know you all know what this is like.

i too started on a very low dose because i am so sensitive and i wanted to be able to give the drug a try. i have tried the anti-anxiety meds, but have not had much luck. i spoke with my doctor and we agreed that if i can just stick this out it would be better than trying to mix a lot of stuff right now. i have had so many bad reactions to stuff that was supposed to calm me in the past few months that i just don't want to risk that again if it would end up taking me off the leaxpro.
so, i'm just hanging in there.
i have had a lot of practice with dealing with anxiety and panic before, so i am using every single trick i know (and more!) to get through right now.

thanks again so much for your notes - i cannot tell you how much this means to me.
this is truly an amazing website - i feel so grateful for all of you!
xoxo
judy

Judy Judy Judy!! (I have always wanted to say that!! )

You sound like me! Or like the old me! Who was really a new and unknown me!! Confused?? Ya, me too!!

I know how awful you feel, I know what it is like to take it one moment at a time. I remember being grateful for a normal feeling 20 minutes!! I was horribly dizzy, actually had the dizzies some for years but during the "transition" from peri into meno...OMG!! Dizzy 24/7!! Some from hormone depletion, some from anxiety brought on by hormone depletion! Hmmmm, do you think hormones could play a part in all of this???

That is good you are going to hang in there. If you increase your AD dose, stay on a small increase for 10 days before you increase it again. Best way to adjust and avoid the possible increase in anxiety. ("Increase" is my word of paragraph! ).

You will feel better soon! It will go by faster than you realize. I know I waited 5 weeks before I realized how much better I felt, it kind of sneaks up on you. You will slowly notice you are enjoying things again, even small things like having the house clean - and you did it!! Or getting up in the morning and showering and getting ready for the day, even though you have no plans to go anywhere. These were BIG improvements for me, at the time. And eventually I was going out in public to do errands, without really realizing I was. If that makes sense. I just started living again. It was GREAT!! And you will get there!! Those tiny improvements you are feeling....they are the beginning. It just gets better from here!!

Keep us informed of your progress!!

Judy,

Floater is exactly right - you will in time find yourself doing more and more, and one day realize you've gone an entire morning without even thinking about how you're feeling!

For now, do your best to get through your days one moment at a time if that's what's necessary. Better times are coming - many of us know EXACTLY what you are describing, and can tell you that it gets MUCH better. Do your best not to be afraid of what you're feeling. As horrid as it is, it's completely "normal" with anxiety and depression.

If you haven't read the books of Claire Weekes, they might help you a lot right now. She stresses remaining calm while waiting for "time to heal you." I highly recommend them - they've helped a lot of Power-Surge sisters!

(((HUGS)))

JJ

Judy Judy Judy - hahahahahahaha - I was thinking the same thing Floats!!!

Floater is very knowledgeable in this area - as is TW!! We all have btdt. It is not fun NOR is it pretty. Please hang in there - it will get better. With each minute that goes by, you are a little closer to feeling better. You will feel alot like your OLD self and be so happy you did this!

What helps me is that I work on the now principle. Just focus on now. Being as present for your present as much as possible. Hang in there and you will get through. Just try to do it for a little while okay?

Peace to you!
Suzanne

Dear Judy

Am so glad that you are beginning to feel a little relief and as Floater said it just keeps getting better so slowly that one day you will just get on with life!

When I started with Prozac it took about six weeks to kick in but Boy Oh Boy did it improve the quality of my life.The trick is to increase the dose a little at a time till you feel really comfortable.Then sit back and enjoy the benefits

I know you have fought long and hard and really respect your choices.Initially,you will find a rise in panic and anxiety but that will fade.In the beginning I had to add Xanax but now I hardly ever need it at all.

Stay Well,my friend and keep us posted
Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

thanks so much again, ladies. it really helps me so much to hear from you.

i did sleep last night, but i'm afraid i woke up in hot flash hell and depression.
i sometimes find that when i'm rested i actually feel worse because things are more acute.
but...i am hanging in there. at least i'm not lying on the floor like yesterday!
i took some apple cider vinegar in hopes it would help the flashes, but so far, i'm not sure.
i did sleep through, so it may have helped. i woke up with them and have had them all morning. i find that the flashes makes me feel more anxious, so i'm going to stick with the acv for a few days and hope.

as far as the lexapro, i'm going on with it! i took another .5 today and will continue that for at least a week before i think about increasing again.
it is SO good to hear hope from the other side of this - please keep it coming!
i just SO want my life again. it's amazing how this peri stuff can just rob us. but again -- i'm optimistic because at least now i am taking something that will most likely work.
it just takes time, time, time, huh?!
okay i guess i can live with that...but i am IMPATIENT! :-)
thank you again so much!!!
xoox
judy

hello ladies,
i ended up having an okay evening, felt almost like myself for a short time, but then i did not sleep last night.
oh!!!
no hot flashes, but i just couldn't sleep. i tried a lot of things and tried NOT to try = you know the drill.
at about 5am i took melatonin and that did help so i slept until about 9am.
i don't like taking things because they sometimes backfire and then i am awake all night.
i am going to have a day, go to acupuncture, donate to toys for tots and then come home and relax.
i am just getting through these days and waiting for my life to return.
i am keeping positive thoughts as much as i can.
any encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!!

xoxo
judy

Judy... just stopping by to lend my support!! You hang in there! I really like what Suz wrote about just being present in the now. Baby steps... ((((Judy)))))

thanks much for your note - it means a lot just now!
yes, baby steps. i realize that i have been suffering for months on end and dealing with anxiety and depression on my own. i NOW have a good medication that should help me. i am only on day 8 with this drug and i am determined to make it at least to day 14. i am actually hoping to make it to 3 weeks, but one day at a time!
i have had a hot body sensation all day today and that's not helped.
my period is coming soon (it comes on day 25 and i am now on day 21), so i am considering something. i am not a big fan of xanax, but i think maybe i need it to get me through the next few weeks. i just feel like i am suffering so much today with no sleep and a hot body making me feel anxious and agitated. and the depressed feelings and thoughts are awful.
and i'm just suffering through it and hoping for tomorrow.
my problem with xanax is that i sometimes have a letdown kind of feeling after a little while. but, it does seem to help with the worst of the anxiety feelings.
i am talking briefly with my therapist tonight and i'll talk it over with her.
any support just now would be greatly appreciated!!!
thank you ladies!!!
xoxo
judy
ps sleeping tips help would also be welcomed! not routine, etc, but i mean counting sheep, etc. - anything that's helped you nod off!

Two things (other than meds) have helped me to get to sleep: my hubby reading to me, or using an cd player to read a story to me. It lulls me so nicely and I can fall asleep.

Hope your meds kick in soon and you feel better. I'm considering doing the ADs myself because I've been struggling for awhile with anxiety and depression due to job changes. It feels situational, but it seems there's always a situation!!!!

Judy the ladies who have responded are both angels and geniuses.

Many of them helped me when I was suffering in many of the ways you describe.

Just chiming in to lend my support to you. I have been on Lexapro in the past and with good result. You really do need to live absolutely in the present. This is a very very hard thing to do. Many spiritual people base their whole lives on this discipline. You are here now and getting better. The meds do take time to have full effect. Please do not get discouraged by the 2 steps forward, one back aspect. Someone on power-surge once posted to me when I was in a similar state to yours that I would have to give lexapro the OLD COLLEGE TRY and that there might even be some start up magnification of symptoms. Theat was the case for me but after week 5 there was measurable relief. Whatever combination of meds works for you - just do, live in the moment, you will get well. Belive it or not, something precious can be learned from these experiences.

Here for you - pm me anytime

xo

I took Zoloft for 16 years and it was great, not perfect, but quality years. I switched to OCD helper, Luvox, 4 years ago. I will NEVER not take an anti-depressent as long as I live and I, too, that HIM every day for delivering me from that suicidal time

My hubby reads to me too! I thought I was the only one. He is a boy-genuis so sometimes we are reading physics or graphing blah blah, but it's his voice, I think. Also, the Bible will do it. (Sorry, God)

hi all,
thanks so much for your replies. i am aware that symptoms can get worse when you start meds - it is so good to be reminded. i am on day 9 of the lexapro (not that i'm counting!!). i did sleep last night after trying a few things - melatonin, etc. i am so grateful for the sleep! today, i am going to get to leave the house and do some things - a gift! i had my boyfriend with me last night (he'd been sleeping on the couch due to a bad cold) and that helped a lot.
i will remind myself to live in the present moment today, think good thoughts and trust that i will get through - one moment at a time!
i will write tonight on how today went.
i so appreciate you ladies sticking by me at this time.
your encouragement means so much - thank you!!
xoxo
judy

Dear Judy

We will always be here.Please remember that.I know it takes time but honestly the relief will sneak up on you gradually till one day you wake up and it's not so bad after all.Yes,in the beginning anxiety is hightened and that is why I mentioned Xanax.It just takes off the edge till the AD has really kicked in

It is such a viscious cycle of anxiety,depression insomnia etc.but with the right balance of Meds,keeping active and a positive attitude life does improve.

I have walked this road so fully empathise with the despair that you sometimes feel but can confidently now confirm that there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Keep Posting

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

thanks so much to all of you.
i am sleeping a bit better with the help of tylenol pm. i don't like taking things, but it's working so i am committed to it. i just tell myself that i need to have a good rest so i can have a good day.
my next thing is i am having terrible hot flashes and i need some relief. they are keeping me up at night - and i think if i can get some relief from them, i can sleep more naturally. any suggestions?
i'll also check the boards for this topic.
i also find that when i have them during the day, they seem to really spike the anxiety level.
thanks again so much!!!
xoox
judy

hi all,
reading claire weekes, hope and help for your nerves - what a help!
i had read her when i was 17 years old and thought i knew it all already!
hah!
i ordered the book on cd and downloaded it onto my pod - i'm going to play her lovely voice tonight when i go to bed.
it's so easy to forget the simple principles of floating, accepting and letting time pass :-)
i KNOW these work because i've used them many times before.
but it DOES take TIME!!!

thanks to all - write me again!!
xoxo
judy

Hi Judy i just want to say hang in there dear it does get better.Beleive me i was in bad shape for 8 months full of anxiety and depression, mornings were worse.I started on zoloft .50 mg it took about 6 weeks and i am glad i held in there yes it does get worse before better but hang in there it does get so much better i am almost my old self again. and am so glad. I even take less xanax because Ad works so well. Keep us posted and Goodluck Hugs Terry

Dear judy

So glad you are getting some sleep and yes it is easier to face the day after a good night's sleep

I have heard that Primrose Oil is supposed to help the hot flashes.Also keep away from caffeine in any form and cut down sugar as much as possible.Alcohol is a no no as it makes you feel very flushed.Sipping warm milk with honey or a herbal tea and a nice warm but not hot bath may also be helpful.

Good Luck and keep us posted
Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

Judy, you are doing SO WELL with hanging in there, and letting the medication begin to do its job! No one is quite sure why it takes AD's a while to work, but it does for just about everyone. Don't be discouraged. If you can tolerate them, and it sounds like indeed you can, just stay with it. Before long, you will find yourself functioning well again.

If you find your mornings are the more difficult part of the day, this is COMPLETELY NORMAL with anxiety/depression. Claire Weekes calls it "that dreaded morning feeling." We can feel just about like our usual selves by early evening, and think, wow, I'm doing so much better - tomorrow will be fine! And then we wake up with the same old yucky feeling! Again, if you feel this, it's NORMAL. Don't fear it! Just do your best to get out of bed, take things nice and gently.

It's helpful to have a little radio, or CD player, to listen to at night. Claire Weekes' audio is great! Try your best not to fear the fact that you are not sleeping well. Sleep will return in time, and meanwhile, rest as you can.

I for one am so impressed with your courage. I know how awful depression feels, and those deep parts of ourselves we must draw on to get through. You, dear Judy, are doing GREAT.

(((HUGS)))

JJ

Judy,

I have been taking Lexapro for about 5 years now and have no intention of ever giving it up. When I first started taking it I had some problems sleeping and an increase in hot flashes. I started to take it in the morning so that it did not keep me up and also, my doctor gave me a low dose of ativan (like xanax) to take 1 hour before bed each night for the first 2 weeks. The Lexapro "kicked in" at about 3 weeks and from that point forward I felt great and slept well.

Lexapro may increase anxiety when you first start to take it but it ususally subsides after a few weeks. As an added benefit, I really think the Lexapro helps decrease hot flashes. I have hardly had any since I have been on it. Hang in there - it really will get better!

Maura

thanks so much (again!) to all of you ladies.
yes, i do have morning difficulty - and today is starting.
but, guess what - i am remembering what all of you have said and just relaxing through.
i LOVE claire weekes!
i am going to float through today - yes!
even though i know i will continue to feel uncomfortable, i know that each moment i can accept my body feelings and float through is a moment toward healing.
i will write again.
thank you !!
xoxo
judy

Judy,

You are doing awesome!! And you have a great attitude towards this as well! Relief will come, it is getting closer by the day.

I used to have the horrible morning anxiety as well, I wonder what that is all about? And I could feel close to normal in the evenings - but never quite right. The majority of panic attacks I suffered from were in the mornings, or when I was out of the house (which is why I became agoraphobic, I was afraid to go out and panic in public!). I still have some residual discomfort when I am in stores, which I am sure stems from the panic I used to get while I was in them during my dark time. So far I have managed to force myself to relax through those moments, and they pass. I wish I didn't get that at all!!

Keep plugging away, one day at a time! You really are doing great, and doing all the right things!

yes, evenings are easier for me too.
i am reading a lot of claire weekes today and making it through.
i have been practicing floating a lot and letting go of negative thoughts.
i am increasing my dose of lexapro tomorrow and am just keeping positive thoughts about that. i do not particularly like meds, but i am trusting that i need to keep going on this one for awhile. we'll see. i was, of course, hoping it would make me feel better by now, but that's not been the case -- the past few weeks have been very very difficult.

i am so glad i picked up that book - it's been a godsend.

i know what you mean about panic - i had years of managing panic in stores, etc. and was doing quite well with it until peri hit me recently. dealing with it always seemed to depend on my mood, how much sleep i had, time of the month, etc. i know it's hard, but i do think if you keep practicing you will keep getting better. and try not to react too much when you feel those "old feelings" in a store.

thanks for your help and encouragement!
good luck and keep writing!!

xoxo
judy

Judy..you ARE strong...you ARE getting better minute by minute...moment by moment. Your attitude is superb...it will get you through all of this. I deal with anxiety and panic too thanks to this dee-lightful time of peri-menopause. It will get better. I was taking meds for it, Paxil 10 mg, but I really don't do meds. So I weaned myself off of them when I was feeling better and now I'm onto estroven and other herbs to help with it. I do have xanax just in case...but I turn to my paper bag before I go there. I've learned that there is no one way to deal with this and there is no 'right' way...it's whatever is right for you. Recently I've dug more into my faith in God, prayer, reiki and meditation. Reiki is a blessing during this time and I am very grateful for it. I'm learning how to stop the anxiety from mounting before it gets out of control by letting go of the negative/obsessive thoughts like you talked about. I'm getting better and better at it. And if I do have an attack I remind myself that I am NOT going crazy and that right at this moment tons of my peri-hormotional sistas are going through EXACTLY the same thing right now. I have two little ones, both toddlers, and that motivates me to 'stay in the now'. I know that there is an end to this, for all of us. We have eachother to turn to...and that's a wonderful blessing.

The next time you start having anxious feelings or negative thoughts, remind yourself that me, and your peri-sista's know what you're going through...we understand...you're NOT alone...we're here for you and we love you!

{{{{judy}}}

thank you SO much - you are all such a godsend.
i am crying as i write this because i feel so loved and supported - and that is SO what i need right now!
it's so good to be reminded that i am not alone, that i am not crazy. i am just going through a very difficult peri and a lot of women are just like me. sometimes i look around and i just feel like i am some kind of freak and no one else knows what this is like. my sisters did not have this problem - and i have always been the "sensitive one" in the family with my anxiety and panic. i know, though, that this has made me strong and resilient too - and very kind and sensitive to other people.

i WILL get through this!!!
thank you so much. please keep writing to me.
xoxo
judy

Just a little note to wish you Happy Holidays, Judy.

If you feel like you are not "up to" the usual holiday hoopla this year, the best thing is to do your best to enjoy little moments, and simply rest as you need to. Just watching a particular show or movie on TV, eating a piece of something yummy, going for a short walk outside. When we think "too big," we sometimes overwhelm ourselves.

You are going to be better in the New Year.

Take very good care, and know that your Sisters here are holding your hand!

Luv ya,
JJ

thanks so much for your holiday greeting.
same to all of you - merry christmas and happy holidays!!!
xoxox
judy