The past 2 years, I've noticed quite a few silver hairs in the middle part of my hair. That's when I get to the store and buy the hair color I've used for the past 38 years. I'm a natural redhead but I've colored it a lighter shade of red all this time.
My problem is this...if I let it go and show the gray, will my co-workers see me as old and maybe think it's time for me to go OR will they possibly view me with more respect for my age?
I'm a crazy, wacky, fun-loving gal when I'm at work and enjoy a fun camaraderie with all of my co-workers who are all much younger than me--17-40. I'm afraid if I let the gray show they might see me different. Or am I being paranoid?

Hi I say whatever makes you feel good do it. I have total white not gray hair and hubby loves it, i would love to dye it to blonde again, but if it attracts him i will leave it. We are out to make ouirselves feel good so whatever decision you make would have to be what makes you feel young and good. hugs terry

My hair is naturally a red chestnut colour and over the years it's got lighter on top, but still quite dark underneath. More and more silver is appearing, but it looks like I've got streaks. Someone asked me how I did it... So, I'm going silver gracefully!
At the moment it looks like salt and pepper...
I guess I'm just lazy and can't be bothered with the mess of colouring my hair ...
I think a good cut is important...
Hugs, Jonie

I really don't think your hair will make a difference on how your co-workers see you....if you let the gray show,you'll just be YOU with gray hair.....

I don't think it matters how others see you, but for me it matters how I feel about myself. When I look old, I feel old. I color my hair, and will FOREVER. I'm not going down without a fight!!

I am funny about putting chemicals on my hair so I will never dye my hair no matter what color it ends up being. I like the natural look even tho my hair is so straight that I can't do much with it. I am a blonde and have a few gray hairs but it is hard to find them. If you feel better with your hair dyed then I say go for it. Otherwise, enjoy the natural look!

LLW

I'm with Jeanne0721 here - in my case, grey hair showing makes me feel old, when I don't feel it otherwise. Then, well, sunspots on my skin do too, but my skin won't let me do anything about them due to being too sensitive. However, for my hair(other than a good cut once in awhile), all it takes is $8-10 at Walgreens and a hour, and I look great after I refresh my haircolor. It's pretty hard to get excited about grey hair when it does not flatter one's complexion, no matter what one does with makeup, or go with one's overall look and colors that one likes to wear. So often, once a woman goes grey, she ends up having to wear colors that go with the grey, but don't do much for her complexion. The icy-cool jewel tones might look lovely with the hair, but be too harsh for someone who had softer warmer coloring that really looked better in rich spicy colors instead. So I say, stick with the haircolor. Redheads tend not to grey very well - it tends to look faded-out "gingery" and only serve to wash one's complexion out. Pretty hard to get excited about that, no matter how much one might admire a natural look, IMO.

Thank you all for such great answers!
I just wonder what color my gray will be! The ones that show now are silvery. But, There's been a few redheads who have lived in the retirement home, where I work, and their gray is 'gingery' as LLW says or yellowy.
Well, I guess there's no hurry to find out. I'll just take it as it comes and maybe one day I'll find out.

Hi there:

You are not being paranoid - most people consciously and subconsciously judge people by how they look - grey hair = old - so if you want to be considered young dye your hair - there are so many wonderful shades out there - good luck]

Lara Falcon

I think you should do whatever makes YOU feel good, and not worry about how others perceive you. I have colored for as long as I can remember -- long before I started getting gray, because I have fine hair and I like the way color gives you more texture. I always am amused that people talk about "healthy" hair, given that hair is .. well ... dead. lol But the color has always worked to give my limp, dead hair a lot more body and shine, and it always feels "healthier" when I use it.

Do whatever makes you laugh. *s*

My natural hair is very dark brown, but I have premature gray from both sides of my family, so I have been colouring since my mid 20s. I started to gray at 22. I also have very thick, natural curly hair that grows extremely fast. I am battling the white roots every couple of weeks. Recently I changed my hairstyle and I now have a part, and the gray roots were showing within days. This just isn't working for me, so I decided to go for the Elvira look and give myself a white chunk, right at the part has taken 4 bleachings to get it to light blonde!! But as I said it grows fast so the natural hair is coming in quickly. I will have a silvery streak once it grows all the way in. I actually like it. Do people see me as older?? I don't know, I have sure had a lot of comments though. Even from complete strangers at the grocery store. I guess if nothing else it is very original looking!!

As others have already said, it's an individual choice. I starting getting gray early - sometime in my 20s - and my natural color is very dark, almost black, hair. I have colored FOREVER and will continue to do so. I have two small children (11 and one who will be 8 tomorrow!) and I don't want to look like their great grandmother (I already get those "is she the mom or what?" looks every once in awhile ).

I do know that just coloring my hair makes me feel SO much better about my looks.

Oh, thanks for reminding me of that! I have very fine, limp hair also and coloring it really 'thickens' it more and is more manageable!
I don't think I'm ready for gray, limp hair yet. I'll keep coloring it as usual!

I look much older with gray hair! So for now I'm going to keep coloring!
Also notice I have to color more often since the hair color doesn't last as long. Anyone else?

I know a guy who was a redhead -- more of an orangehead actually -- whose hair has gone completely gray and he looks fantastic. I'm a dark brunette myself. I had my first gray hair when I was 17, and at 48 I'm now about 1/3 gray. I tried coloring it a couple of times, and while it looks nice colored, it was just too big a pain. My hair grows so fast that I was seeing a gray line around my forehead after about only 2 weeks. So I decided to let it go, and I haven't looked back. I get compliments on it all the time. I keep it long, and I'm kinda looking forward to it being completely gray so I can have a long gray braid down my back.

But ultimately it's your call. What's good for one person isn't good for someone else. If gray makes you feel old, get rid of it. But remember...old is in your head, not on it. If you act old and withered, people will see you that way. If you act young and vibrant, people will see you that way too, regardless of your hair color.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

YES!! In my 20's I would color my hair every 6 weeks, in my 30's it was every 4 week, at 40 it was every 3 weeks, now approaching the big FIVE-0 I notice that after TWO weeks I have roots!! ARGHHHH!!!!!

I have my hair colored every 5 weeks by my professional stylist, and I love the way the color looks right afterwards. But, then within a couple of weeks it starts turning lighter, brassy at times, and just not the color I really wanted.
I do have well water, we live on a farm. I know that is probably a big part of my my color is fading, and, or changing colors.
Anybody have any advice about that...anyone else have well water that is very hard? My stylist really does not answer my question...just says it's normal for color to fade and change. I can handle the fading...but don't like when it totally changes shades!

Thanks!
Di

whatever makes you happy---no anyone else.be happy you have an option and choice.

I've always wanted the long braid, too! My hair is past my bra strap in back and I rarely cut it except to even it up.

I love your little 'saying' there!

My red hair has faded a lot over the years - it began as strawberry blonde anyway. I love to see the silver in my hair, which just sounds whacky, but I do! What I don't like is when my hair looks dull and dry, so I take supplements that help to keep my hair and skin a little perkier. When my hair is shiny, bouncy, and healthy looking, I don't worry about the color.

Good luck!

Maybe just highlights with a foil a shade or two lighter then your natural hair color would be perfect!
If your co-workers like you know they will like you no matter what your hair color is, whatever you decide do it for you.

I went to a streaky blond look because of this very reason! I used to be a dark brown/reddish color and got sick of having it colored every three weeks! The blond seems to hide the gray much better,

Actually, I do too! I've let the color grow out enough to see about an inch of my roots and there is some pretty silver in there. I'll see. If it gets to ugly-looking I will re-color it then.

I'm with Leanne on this one. I have very dark brown hair and when it started going gray it was oh so noticable. My mother let her hair go gray young and I absolutely hated when friends thought she was my grandmother. I too feel old when I look old and I don't want to feel that way. I agree that it's all personal preference and if you don't mind the gray then why bother coloring. For me---I don't like it and will color until they wheel me out feet first. I always tell everyone that I plan on going out dressed to the nines and in full stage makeup.(lol)

I started seeing gray hairs when I was in college. I thought it was funny then.

Now, I just turned soxty and I'm mostly silver - but not completely. I'm very lucky. My hair is thick and shiny, never frizzy - I attribute that to genes and daily vitamins. There's no way I would have ever added coloring my hair, another chore, to my list of things to do. I get loads of compliments and I'm happy with my hair!

The only negative is choosing makeup. I have green eyes and fair skin so I usually need darker colors or I look too pale.

Helen

Since I started going grey very early, I colored it. After about 16 years, my scalp rebelled and I had to stop. I let it grow out and found it was a beautiful silver, almost white. I did the "braid down my back" thing, but it was always falling out, so I cut to a chin length bob and I like it. I get lots of compliments on my hair and it doesn't make me feel older. Of course, I will be 55 next month, so I am older

I really didn't change the colors I wear, except maybe to add more icy blue - looks great with the color and complexion. Lipstick and blush, though, is a must for me.

Ditto....in the workplace, however, age is a factor and for that reason alone I would color my hair!

TJ

Yea! I'm going for the long braid too! I saw a lovely woman at the grocery store, all grey and her braid was just beatiful! As for color, my silver is coming in all along the front. I keep going lighter on the color - and it's pretty!! Strawberry is my color... Getting lighter and lighter. I'm affraid I might have to cut my hair if I want the grey to catch up with the rest. Not willing to cut... Keeping the color light.

Dear iluvtolaff,
I love your attitude! I have been a professional make up artist and image coach for many years. This is a decision every woman will have to decide at some point in their mid life. For myself, I am Norwegian and have always been blonde with fair skin and blue eyes. My haircolor started to change in my late 30 around my temples to a platinum white. At first my boyfriend at the time (who was a total jerk) made snide comments about being old and dried up. I colored it regularly with a blonde rinse for about 4 years. Then one day I looked in the mirror and realised I had forgotten to color for a few months and the color looked like I had highlighted it on purpose. It was striking and enhanced and framed my face. I for one will look forward to going all platinum naturally, but I will always add dimensional color for a healthy natural effect (some shades of light blonde perhaps) as not to wash out my face altogether.
Allowing your hair to go a la natural gray is best if it is more than 25% gray. Once it is 50% its even better at giving an impact. If your less than 25% see if your hairdresser can work with it by adding additional highlights until the gray starts to cover more of your head.
Now, with being a natural redhead do you have the cool undertone to your skin (turn your rist over and if you notice a blue/red tone then your cool. If you have a yellow/orange undertone your warm. Do you have freckles that give your face more color, or are you porceline? Your hair is your framework to the image called your face. You want it to accent and highlight your features and coloring, not bleach you out with a lack of color. Since we are all walking calling cards when it comes to our career we want to put forth our best face. Unfortunately, I have seen age discrimination in all areas of the workplace and as competitive as it is now, don't drop your edge. Bosses equate youth with production. That is a well researched fact that cannot be denied. Unless you own the company, never let anyone have a jump on you professionally. Your personality sounds vibrant and energetic. Always let your image match that. Now, having said that and you still want to try going natural, you could concentrate on adding some fabulous accessories. Scarves, bold neclaces with matching earrings etc. If you would like to email me a photo I would be happy to give you a second opinion......Have fun with whatever you decide, it's not the destination it's the ride...........Debra

Di, It sounds like you need to purchase the shampoo that is infused with color. It sounds like your water has minerals that are leaving dull deposits in your hair and this type of shampoo will help keep your color vibrant between salon visits. Just about every major hair care company has come out with their version of these color infused shampoos. They range from accenting blondes, to brunetts to redheads. They also have conditioner. I recommend using both color infused shampoo and conditioner. I would start out with a mid grade brand and nowadays you can find those brands at your average Fred Meyer or Wallmart stores. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the results. Let me know how it works out for you. Debra

Chatty, I am with you. I am not ready to cut my hair. It is really long with platinum white/gray framing my face. I love pulling my hair back in a french braid. Look at the beautiful starletts in Hollywood....Kim Bassinger, Christy Brinkley, Kim Alexis, Jerry Hall, Jayne Seamore...They are all over 50 and look lovely and classy...

I think very old ladies look absolutely beautiful with natural gray/white hair. But NOT the salt and pepper gray that I have. It adds years that I'm not ready to have, although I do not color as often as I should.

Debra:
I have been a hairstylist for 16 years. I can suggest that when you wash your hair, after a color, is to wash in in cool water. Hot water opens up the cuticle and lets the color out. A good color endure shampoo helps..
As for me...I will color my hair until I cannot lift up my arms..haha
Love
Karen
Sishaircut

Dear'Debra

And I loved your reply!I have very white skin and blue eyes.When I was young I had dark brown hair but now am a warm blonde.Looked at my under wrist and it is cool.What lipsticks are good for my colouring as I always seem to have trouble with these.My lips are naturally quite red.
Thanks
Elizabeth

i see lots of great advice here.I like the idea of a natural braid,hats and acccessories,etc.i wouls suggest asking a hair stylist for advice.going from color to color,style to style is really not appealing to me.has anyone thought of the health aspects related to hair coloring?i have heard both sides,and am still not sure of the safety of hair coloring?Any comments?

Karen, Great advice on the cool water. I am with you, except when I cannot lift my arms anymore I will make my grown kids come over and do it for me.....whether they are women or men!! lol Deb

Hi Elizabeth, What clothing colors do you feel healthiest looking in? Since I cannot see your face I will give you some general suggestions for fab lips. Bright or dark lipstick is aging. This was tough for me because I loved wearing red lipstick and bright pink lipstick. I guess I am a little dramatic. Now at nearly 49, I don't want to accentuate lip lines or look like a hard old hag who is still trying to look 25. Well that would be nice but not probable. Nowadays, when I wear a red jacket or black dress, I take my favorite bold red color lipstick which is a yellow/orange base red and I put a bit of a coral frost over the top. It totally softens the color and keeps me in harmony with the outfit. If I am wearing pinks, I take my bold pink that I have loved for years and I put Burts Bees lip shimmer color Guava over the top and it's really pretty. I get complimented quite a bit on the color. I just softens the look and even makes my lips look fuller. Now another great find is the whole Burts Bees lip shimmer line. I put it over any lipstick because it keeps my lips from cracking/chapping and can soften just about any bold color you have, just make sure they are the same hue/tone only lighter. You can find them at any drug store or health food store.
Before I apply my lipstick, I take a thick foundation stick, like Estee Lauder, or even Bobby Brown (they last forever and you can touch up your whole face) and I put it over my lips. Then I line the lips with liner, a shade slightly darker than my lipstick. For really long lasting lipstick I dab with a bit of powder , then appy the lipstick. This lasts for hours and stays put without bleeding into any lines. Creme lipsticks are the best for a more youthful look. I still love applying the shimmer to make my lips look fuller and mute the color. The focus on women 45 and over should be to draw attention upward to the eyes and soften the mouth and jawline.
I know all of the rules of thumb here. Soft and natural is more youthful and I am trying to tone down my own make up. My rule of thumb is this. I will wear whatever bold outrageous color I feel like wearing if it makes me FEEL better about myself. I will wear low cut jeans with stilleto high heels until I fall and break a hip. I will have my fake nails put back on someday when I get the time to maintain them again. I have pretty much traded in my thongs for boyshorts since I was tired off flossing my own butt to look sexy! I will continue to wear my Prada parfume. I will slightly rat the top of my hair for effect and wear gaudy big earrings to the grocery store. I will grasp what youth I have left and enjoy every moment. I earned it!!! As women we are given a gauge of what is the most graceful way to age and look beautiful. I prefer to bend the rules at times. That's the secret of youth......lol

Hi libby, My aunt Violet was hairstylist since the depression. She won many awards at beauty competitions. She cut and colored hair for about 50 years!!!! That means being exposed to multiple hair dyes per day. Plus she colored her own hair and kept herself impecable. She was a fiesty wonderful loving lady who had a mind like a steal trap. She passed away of natural causes at 96!!!!!! Her husband, my uncle Buddy, never exercised a day in his life and ate fried foods, sweets and bacon every day. He smoked a pipe until his 80's. He passed away of natural causes at 95. You know what they had in common. They never let themselves fret, get bent out of shape or worried. They said that they could never add one minute to their lifespan by doing this. They took that right out of the bible. Go figure...............lol

"Allowing your hair to go a la natural gray is best if it is more than 25% gray. Once it is 50% its even better at giving an impact." - DebraD

Boy, I sure didn't find that to be the case! That advice might work for someone who has a cool tone to their skin, or has very dark skin, but for a light-to-medium warm-toned complexion like mine, the MORE grey I have the worse it looks. I won't be quitting the bottle anytime soon. Have been coloring my hair since age 39 and now I am 61. I get tons of compliments on my hair too, even from my haircutter who totally knows what he is doing. Although I had near black hair when I was younger, it looks great now being a rich red-copper brown that's not too light. On me, I NEED a bit of contrast - otherwise I look washed out.

My hair color has been growing out for almost 2 months now. While I don't mind the gray, I don't like how thin and fine my hair is without the hair color. The hair color added fullness and thickness. Now it's just stringy looking.
Hmmm.... now what do I do?

Hi:
I get my hair highlights blonde every 4 weeks. I dont; like the texture of gray hair. I am 53 and getting more and more gray hair by the month. I think gray hair does make you look older. Have been blond all my life, once red. Cost 80.00 amonth. I always ask my husband if we can afford it. He always says go ahead and get it done.

Hi !

I'm new.

I have red-brown. It got lighter, now the gray is all over and crazy!
I can't decide. or cut it maybe?

I agree that if you look in the mirror and feel bad, color can help!
Right now anyways.

Lizardlover - that's cool he like it, sounds like he is so precious to you!


Flower