I have a feeling that the 'vicious' cycle is coming back. I had a little bit of a stressful afternoon yesterday and then had my post surgery appt with my ENT. When I got home I noticed my ringing in my ears got a little louder. Woke up 3am this morning to xmas songs on the radio which got me to stressing because I just have no umph when it comes to xmas. My fiance got up to get ready for work so I got up with him. Tried to talk to him about xmas, that I'm starting to stress because i have just no idea of what to get him or anyone else for that matter. He doesn't understand why I stress myself out; so conversation was a little unproductive. Also I had hot flushes during night. I'm starting to feel the anxiety is slowly coming back. I've been bleeding since November 17th; so that's like what, over 3 1/2 weeks straight?
To top it off, it's pouring outside. It's gonna be a dismal day.
Full Version: Today not a good day
Hi Nancy,
I am so sorry you are having such a rough start to your day, so darn early too. You are right, this dismal weather in the northeast, is not helping one bit either. Last Christmas was so stressful for me that I almost lost my mind. This is supposed to be a joyous time of year, right? Why do we let ourselves get so worked up over it....
This is my suggestion for your day today. It may sound too simple, and perhaps you have even already done it, but start with a simple list of what you absolutely need to accomplish for Christmas. Who you need to buy for etc. Then put your thinking cap on for gifts that you can get without making yourself crazy. For example, I am giving all the nieces pedicure gift certificates with a pair of of those slipper socks, in a gift bag. My nephews are getting Amazon gift certificates- and a couple are getting a small check.
For the "big" gifts, you need to ask for a list. End of story. We are just not mind readers....and stressing that much takes the joy out of this season. If you can get the help you need to accomplish this it will make your life so much easier.
As far as the ringing....and oh I know it well- I have to keep myself busy and not listen to it- with soft music in the background....anything that keeps my mind off the anxiety when it starts to build, and for me busy is the answer to that.
I am hoping if you have a plan for the gifts, and get a little of it done, you will start to feel less stressed about it.
Hang tight, and come back again and again- we are here for you.
Jan
I am so sorry you are having such a rough start to your day, so darn early too. You are right, this dismal weather in the northeast, is not helping one bit either. Last Christmas was so stressful for me that I almost lost my mind. This is supposed to be a joyous time of year, right? Why do we let ourselves get so worked up over it....
This is my suggestion for your day today. It may sound too simple, and perhaps you have even already done it, but start with a simple list of what you absolutely need to accomplish for Christmas. Who you need to buy for etc. Then put your thinking cap on for gifts that you can get without making yourself crazy. For example, I am giving all the nieces pedicure gift certificates with a pair of of those slipper socks, in a gift bag. My nephews are getting Amazon gift certificates- and a couple are getting a small check.
For the "big" gifts, you need to ask for a list. End of story. We are just not mind readers....and stressing that much takes the joy out of this season. If you can get the help you need to accomplish this it will make your life so much easier.
As far as the ringing....and oh I know it well- I have to keep myself busy and not listen to it- with soft music in the background....anything that keeps my mind off the anxiety when it starts to build, and for me busy is the answer to that.
I am hoping if you have a plan for the gifts, and get a little of it done, you will start to feel less stressed about it.
Hang tight, and come back again and again- we are here for you.
Jan
QUOTE (LadyNRed1997 @ Dec 11 2008, 05:34 AM) 
I have a feeling that the 'vicious' cycle is coming back. I had a little bit of a stressful afternoon yesterday and then had my post surgery appt with my ENT. When I got home I noticed my ringing in my ears got a little louder. Woke up 3am this morning to xmas songs on the radio which got me to stressing because I just have no umph when it comes to xmas. My fiance got up to get ready for work so I got up with him. Tried to talk to him about xmas, that I'm starting to stress because i have just no idea of what to get him or anyone else for that matter. He doesn't understand why I stress myself out; so conversation was a little unproductive. Also I had hot flushes during night. I'm starting to feel the anxiety is slowly coming back. I've been bleeding since November 17th; so that's like what, over 3 1/2 weeks straight?
To top it off, it's pouring outside. It's gonna be a dismal day.
To top it off, it's pouring outside. It's gonna be a dismal day.
Nancy,
Jan has some great advice.
I just wanted to add that since starting peri, I have HATED Christmas. I start stressing in Oct, wondering what to do for DS Halloween costume, then after that is done I feel an escalating anxiety the closer Christmas gets. Digging out the decorations, putting up the lights, the tree, the ornaments, then stressing about all the gifts, hating shopping even on a good day, etc. And the worst is not knowing what to get my son or others who don't seem to know what they want. I would spend so much time wandering in stores, hoping to find something for everyone. So Jan's advice is good to minimize having to do that.
DH has been so stressed and tired with work lately and decided not to put up lights outside, other than maybe around the door frame. It's difficult not to do this, since we live in a neighborhood where people seem to be competitive as to how many lights and decorations are outside. But we're learning that we can't worry about what others might think.
I have learned to simplify. I used to feel I needed to do all kinds of baking--cookies, special breads, candy--and would feel guilty if a didn't, as though I was a failure as a mother if I didn't do everything possible to make Christmas the perfect storybook version that I could. I've since realized that we're all better off without all those sugary things tempting us every day, and not baking didn't make Christmas any less enjoyable for everyone else. The only thing we still do is gingerbread men, since that is a tradition I do with DS every year.
When you think of it, it doesn't seem fair that all the pressure to have the perfect Christmas is on the women. And really, we have no one but ourselves to blame. We do not have to do all the extraneous stuff. Just keep it simple. After all, the real reason for Christmas seems to get minimized by all the focus being on the wrong things.
Both DH and I wish Christmas were more like Thanksgiving--just a nice meal and getting together with family without all the other demands that Christmas seems to bring.
Jan has some great advice.
I just wanted to add that since starting peri, I have HATED Christmas. I start stressing in Oct, wondering what to do for DS Halloween costume, then after that is done I feel an escalating anxiety the closer Christmas gets. Digging out the decorations, putting up the lights, the tree, the ornaments, then stressing about all the gifts, hating shopping even on a good day, etc. And the worst is not knowing what to get my son or others who don't seem to know what they want. I would spend so much time wandering in stores, hoping to find something for everyone. So Jan's advice is good to minimize having to do that.
DH has been so stressed and tired with work lately and decided not to put up lights outside, other than maybe around the door frame. It's difficult not to do this, since we live in a neighborhood where people seem to be competitive as to how many lights and decorations are outside. But we're learning that we can't worry about what others might think.
I have learned to simplify. I used to feel I needed to do all kinds of baking--cookies, special breads, candy--and would feel guilty if a didn't, as though I was a failure as a mother if I didn't do everything possible to make Christmas the perfect storybook version that I could. I've since realized that we're all better off without all those sugary things tempting us every day, and not baking didn't make Christmas any less enjoyable for everyone else. The only thing we still do is gingerbread men, since that is a tradition I do with DS every year.
When you think of it, it doesn't seem fair that all the pressure to have the perfect Christmas is on the women. And really, we have no one but ourselves to blame. We do not have to do all the extraneous stuff. Just keep it simple. After all, the real reason for Christmas seems to get minimized by all the focus being on the wrong things.
Both DH and I wish Christmas were more like Thanksgiving--just a nice meal and getting together with family without all the other demands that Christmas seems to bring.
I am with you all the way. The rain is miserable in jersey today. Hardly a day to think of being jolly, but we must step outside of ourselves and try really hard to get past it. Some days it takes all I have to do that, but I will not give in and let this peri thing keep me down. i will put on Christmas music and try to get in the spirit. It is two weeks away and I havent' started shopping yet. I know I need to or else the last week will be awful.
Remember, we can not and should not do it all. We need to ask for help if we need it. Noone can read our minds either. I can be my own worst enemy, thinking I have to do it all, and that is really silly, because I get all crazy and take it out on the people I am doing it for.
Regroup, cut back and do only what really makes you happy. Yes, I agree with Sariah, keep it simple.
Hang in there, better days are ahead.
Remember, we can not and should not do it all. We need to ask for help if we need it. Noone can read our minds either. I can be my own worst enemy, thinking I have to do it all, and that is really silly, because I get all crazy and take it out on the people I am doing it for.
Regroup, cut back and do only what really makes you happy. Yes, I agree with Sariah, keep it simple.
Hang in there, better days are ahead.
I started to reply to this on Thursday when I got to work; but then the site went down. At first I thought my job was blocking it but when I got home I couldn't access it as well. Just got back my access this morning.
But I wanted to say thank you to all. I was crying at work when I was reading your replies. You all had great suggestions and part of my reply was I was already starting to come up with ideas, so that's good. I can make some progress with that.
My fiance has most of the shopping done; he gets so into the holidays it's sickening; but I feel so bad that I cannot be as "upbeat" as him. He already has the outside decorations up for the past two weeks. And like I said he's got shopping done for the neices/nephews and part of my family. He's so great. I have to get myself outta this funk which I'm starting to do. I'm trying!
Yesterday was a better day. I read an article about breathing for anxiety/stress and I've been practicing. Not sure if I'm doing it right; but it seems to work. Had better day at work and a better night sleeping. I did wake up, but it wasn't a panic and even though I didn't go back into a deep sleep, I did doze on/off comfortably until it was time to get up.
I also believe that your replies on this site were a big help as well. I was so lost when I couldn't get back for two days. I'm glad it's back!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
But I wanted to say thank you to all. I was crying at work when I was reading your replies. You all had great suggestions and part of my reply was I was already starting to come up with ideas, so that's good. I can make some progress with that.
My fiance has most of the shopping done; he gets so into the holidays it's sickening; but I feel so bad that I cannot be as "upbeat" as him. He already has the outside decorations up for the past two weeks. And like I said he's got shopping done for the neices/nephews and part of my family. He's so great. I have to get myself outta this funk which I'm starting to do. I'm trying!
Yesterday was a better day. I read an article about breathing for anxiety/stress and I've been practicing. Not sure if I'm doing it right; but it seems to work. Had better day at work and a better night sleeping. I did wake up, but it wasn't a panic and even though I didn't go back into a deep sleep, I did doze on/off comfortably until it was time to get up.
I also believe that your replies on this site were a big help as well. I was so lost when I couldn't get back for two days. I'm glad it's back!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
QUOTE (Sariah @ Dec 11 2008, 07:41 AM)
Nancy,
Jan has some great advice.
I just wanted to add that since starting peri, I have HATED Christmas. I start stressing in Oct, wondering what to do for DS Halloween costume, then after that is done I feel an escalating anxiety the closer Christmas gets. Digging out the decorations, putting up the lights, the tree, the ornaments, then stressing about all the gifts, hating shopping even on a good day, etc. And the worst is not knowing what to get my son or others who don't seem to know what they want. I would spend so much time wandering in stores, hoping to find something for everyone. So Jan's advice is good to minimize having to do that.
DH has been so stressed and tired with work lately and decided not to put up lights outside, other than maybe around the door frame. It's difficult not to do this, since we live in a neighborhood where people seem to be competitive as to how many lights and decorations are outside. But we're learning that we can't worry about what others might think.
I have learned to simplify. I used to feel I needed to do all kinds of baking--cookies, special breads, candy--and would feel guilty if a didn't, as though I was a failure as a mother if I didn't do everything possible to make Christmas the perfect storybook version that I could. I've since realized that we're all better off without all those sugary things tempting us every day, and not baking didn't make Christmas any less enjoyable for everyone else. The only thing we still do is gingerbread men, since that is a tradition I do with DS every year.
When you think of it, it doesn't seem fair that all the pressure to have the perfect Christmas is on the women. And really, we have no one but ourselves to blame. We do not have to do all the extraneous stuff. Just keep it simple. After all, the real reason for Christmas seems to get minimized by all the focus being on the wrong things.
Both DH and I wish Christmas were more like Thanksgiving--just a nice meal and getting together with family without all the other demands that Christmas seems to bring.
Jan has some great advice.
I just wanted to add that since starting peri, I have HATED Christmas. I start stressing in Oct, wondering what to do for DS Halloween costume, then after that is done I feel an escalating anxiety the closer Christmas gets. Digging out the decorations, putting up the lights, the tree, the ornaments, then stressing about all the gifts, hating shopping even on a good day, etc. And the worst is not knowing what to get my son or others who don't seem to know what they want. I would spend so much time wandering in stores, hoping to find something for everyone. So Jan's advice is good to minimize having to do that.
DH has been so stressed and tired with work lately and decided not to put up lights outside, other than maybe around the door frame. It's difficult not to do this, since we live in a neighborhood where people seem to be competitive as to how many lights and decorations are outside. But we're learning that we can't worry about what others might think.
I have learned to simplify. I used to feel I needed to do all kinds of baking--cookies, special breads, candy--and would feel guilty if a didn't, as though I was a failure as a mother if I didn't do everything possible to make Christmas the perfect storybook version that I could. I've since realized that we're all better off without all those sugary things tempting us every day, and not baking didn't make Christmas any less enjoyable for everyone else. The only thing we still do is gingerbread men, since that is a tradition I do with DS every year.
When you think of it, it doesn't seem fair that all the pressure to have the perfect Christmas is on the women. And really, we have no one but ourselves to blame. We do not have to do all the extraneous stuff. Just keep it simple. After all, the real reason for Christmas seems to get minimized by all the focus being on the wrong things.
Both DH and I wish Christmas were more like Thanksgiving--just a nice meal and getting together with family without all the other demands that Christmas seems to bring.
Sariah,
You're right; my family was talking too about just having xmas like Thanksgiving. Just getting together for dinner; but when we suggested it to my SIL (sister in law who's married to my brother) she said no. I mean we would still buy for all the kids (who are on my fiance's side) as usual because that's, in my opinion, what xmas is about or for, the kids. But for grown ups?? Just get together for dinner is nice. But all were not in agreement so it was ruled out.
Also Sariah, not sure if you remember, but couple weeks ago I had put out an urgent post to Robin about test results for a 24 hr urine test I had done and the result was high; they were ordering a repeat test. Well both you and Robin were right and 2nd test came back normal; a 1 point something. So thanks for your input! Talk to you soon!
Nancy,
So glad to hear your urine test came back OK!
I forced myself to go in the much-hated store, Toy's R Us yesterday just to get a couple of small things. What a zoo. Could hardly get down the aisles there were so many people. And the lines were so long and of course, the one I was in had some problems. I was ready to just leave everything there and walk out. I do hate shopping, especially at Christmas.
Hope you have a great holiday.
So glad to hear your urine test came back OK!
I forced myself to go in the much-hated store, Toy's R Us yesterday just to get a couple of small things. What a zoo. Could hardly get down the aisles there were so many people. And the lines were so long and of course, the one I was in had some problems. I was ready to just leave everything there and walk out. I do hate shopping, especially at Christmas.
Hope you have a great holiday.
I have found it hard to get into the holiday spirit this year. My children won't be home for the first time, and it makes me very sad. At least we are going to my sister's in Florida, so that will be a very nice break. I am looking forward to walking on the beach. I sometimes feel if I could have a good cry, I would feel better. Maybe I will! Actually, I'm going to the gym later today, and that always makes me feel good. Hard, physical exersion makes me feel better. I already have a beef stew in my crock pot, so I'm sort of free for the day!
We aren't even decorating the inside of our house this year, because it's just us. But we put up our outside lights. I have found I also hate shopping in crowded stores, and we ordered a lot on line. We also sponsored a child and bought presents and clothes for her. That felt better than anything.
I think it's harder to feel cheerful this year with the economy the way it is and then hearing the news about possibly finding body of that poor child Caylee. That's just horrible and depressing. I've starting turning off the news.
And my BP has been spiking. We're adjusting my meds. That BP business is scary. So, I'm trying to stay busy and not worry about it too much, because it just makes it worse.
I'm all for downsizing Christmas.
WriterMom
We aren't even decorating the inside of our house this year, because it's just us. But we put up our outside lights. I have found I also hate shopping in crowded stores, and we ordered a lot on line. We also sponsored a child and bought presents and clothes for her. That felt better than anything.
I think it's harder to feel cheerful this year with the economy the way it is and then hearing the news about possibly finding body of that poor child Caylee. That's just horrible and depressing. I've starting turning off the news.
And my BP has been spiking. We're adjusting my meds. That BP business is scary. So, I'm trying to stay busy and not worry about it too much, because it just makes it worse.
I'm all for downsizing Christmas.
WriterMom
This is such a good thread, in that MANY women in the years I've been coming to P-S, have expressed how they are "not up to" Christmas. I think it's not us!!! It's CHRISTMAS that has gotten so crazy.
I've been thinking a lot about what Christmas was like when I was a little girl, in the 1950's/60's. We went to my grandmother's on Christmas Eve for a big family party. There were very few presents - we each got a little bag with a pair of crocheted slippers and some candy from my grandma, and those kids who had godparents in the family, would get a "godchild" gift. Mostly we sang, and ate a nice potluck dinner. Visited with our cousins...
On Christmas Day, we had a few gifts from Santa and a stocking, and we'd go to mass in the morning, and then have a nice dinner, very quiet at home.
My folks didn't buy new decorations each year. We had an odd bunch of things, LOL - homemade ornaments, things we kids had made in school. We made paper chains and popcorn garlands. Sometimes someone would give my mom a "nice" Christmas ball. Everything mismatched hung in the tree, and we thought it was beautiful.
We had 3 Christmas albums that we played throughout our childhood. We loved the few Christmas specials on TV. Not the gazillions you can buy on DVD now!
It was a treat to be given a candy cane. Now kids just throw them around! We'd have been horrified to see that!
That was it. That was Christmas! Our parents were not buying presents for everyone in the world, just their parents and us kids. No one had much money, so they couldn't start buying for their brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, etc.
Christmas was quiet. It was religious. It was about a nice meal, and a few presents.
It was WAAAY more fun.
(((HUGS)))
JJ
I've been thinking a lot about what Christmas was like when I was a little girl, in the 1950's/60's. We went to my grandmother's on Christmas Eve for a big family party. There were very few presents - we each got a little bag with a pair of crocheted slippers and some candy from my grandma, and those kids who had godparents in the family, would get a "godchild" gift. Mostly we sang, and ate a nice potluck dinner. Visited with our cousins...
On Christmas Day, we had a few gifts from Santa and a stocking, and we'd go to mass in the morning, and then have a nice dinner, very quiet at home.
My folks didn't buy new decorations each year. We had an odd bunch of things, LOL - homemade ornaments, things we kids had made in school. We made paper chains and popcorn garlands. Sometimes someone would give my mom a "nice" Christmas ball. Everything mismatched hung in the tree, and we thought it was beautiful.
We had 3 Christmas albums that we played throughout our childhood. We loved the few Christmas specials on TV. Not the gazillions you can buy on DVD now!
It was a treat to be given a candy cane. Now kids just throw them around! We'd have been horrified to see that!
That was it. That was Christmas! Our parents were not buying presents for everyone in the world, just their parents and us kids. No one had much money, so they couldn't start buying for their brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, etc.
Christmas was quiet. It was religious. It was about a nice meal, and a few presents.
It was WAAAY more fun.
(((HUGS)))
JJ
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