Does anyone ever re read their posts and feel shocked, dismayed or even embarrassed after the storm or crisis has passed. It's like once I feel better, am over my period or the panic/depression or drama has passed, I have to ask myself, "Did I really sound that stupid, crazy, psycho or over emotional?" hmmmmmmmm

LOL.............join the club DebraD!

Yes,but it makes me feel more sane during the good times!GOD-bless

Debra,

It is a great reminder of just how bad you felt, during your down time. I know some women prefer to forget about it once it is over, and move on with their lives. I, personally, stay here on PS, even though I feel pretty good most of the time now....because I don't want to forget. And yes, reading my old posts sometimes is like...Wow, I was really messed up!! But I was!!

There is no shame in it. It is a roller coaster ride of highs and lows, or should I say normals and really lows!!! haha!!

Mydarling, I am now a certified member then....lol

Debra,

ABSOLUTELY!! When I first found PS, I remember feeling extremely stupid when I would reveal my struggles on here. Then I would spend the next few days analyzing and re-analyzing everything I had said. I was literally losing my mind.

The ladies here helped me tremendously to overcome my fear of meds and to get the help that I so needed.

For that I am forever grateful!

Lady E, I am even finding during this meno thing that there are different levels of sane. Depends on which week of the month I am in. Pre period: overemotional, bloated, mood swings, obsessive thinking, fatigue, sugar cravings, low back pain, insomnia..major hot flashes night and day. Start of period: Wiped out, crying, exhausted, cramps, heavy bleeding, hot and cold chills, panic attacks, depression, loss of appetite, dizzy, depression and despair, headache. Post period: Wiped out, anemic, exhaustion, feeling alittle more optimistic, slight anxiety, appetite returns. Mid cycle: Feel normal, can exercise, good outlook, sleep great, rare anxiety, more energy, creative and emotionally balanced. I guess I am only sane for a week............lol

Floater, It's like a car accident, I have to look back......lol

TidalWaves, I too had a tremendous fear of meds and when I found this site back in 05, it was a lifesaver. I too am forever grateful to all of the ladies who have had the courage and guts to tell the truth at the risk of feeling stupid or psycho. I can only imagine the pain my poor grandmother went through without help from anyone. My mom never experienced peri/meno symptoms. She breezed through it. My grandmother, who was very overweight had a horrible nightmare with peri/meno, but kept it to herself. How sad. I wish she was still alive. I know this much, I will share my struggles and triumps with my daughters and their daughters and educate them so they will never walk in the dark the way I did the first few years of this mess.........

Ya know, Debra, after reading the part of your post about sharing with your daughters and granddaughters, you really helped me to realize just how important it is to share with our girls.

I too suffered in silence (for too many years) which just about destroyed me. It was not until I found PS that I was able to share the nightmare this trip has been for me.

My daughter is just the opposite...........she is very verbal and there is no doubt in my mind that she will destroy everyone around her during that time.

Guess I need to start preparing her now.

Yes!!

Dear Floater

That is why I stay here too.Firstly I like to be of help,if possible to the younger women out there dealing with what is for many a very hard time in their lives.And secondly to appreciate that finally,like you,I too feel pretty good most of the time and that they will too.

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth hope

Dear Debra

You really made me laugh!but sane for a week is not bad.

Never ever feel ashamed of anything you write and share.This is your reality at the time and it is great to have ladies who listen without judging or criticising.

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

Dear Debra:
What a great thread. I felt emotionally great the month of November, I bled the whole month..But whatever..
But since I did feel good I sort of neglected PS..but..look at me now Having another breakdown.....I like you read back and say OUCH...but I myself will copy what I write, cuz I am starting a journel for my daughters. They see me but not at my worst and I want them to be prepared. I love this site I gives me strength. I will visit even when I am good......I need too.
Love
Sishaircut
Karen

Posts, yes, but more the things I say to hubby in the midst of my worst moments. I wish I could take those words back, but, alas....

Yes!...I feel kind of silly when I look back at mine....pathetic too...and weak!

BUT, I know all you girls here often feel the same and it's so great that we can share those bad times and support each other and see it through......I am now post at 48 (well, I think I am...not had a period since 47) and even though I still get crazy symptoms, they are not as bad as they were, and my sleep is greatly improved, but, like Floater i will stay on this board for the great friends I have found here.

Big hugs everyone!

Caz

I do the same thing. I have even apologized because I have blown up at someone here. UGH!!!!

I also agree with educating our younger girls, so that they are not blindsided like most of us about all this stuff.

I know what you mean Karen, I get over confident and avoid looking at posts too. I started PS in 2005 when I had the mother of all Peri breakdowns. I was truly losing it. I could't eve stand it when the sun went down and it became dark. It was really scary. Now I know better than to become overconfident.........it tends to bite me in the ars......

Bookworm, if your hubby is anything like my fiance then his memory is starting to get a little rusty. Hopefully, it's some compensation for us having to go through menohell. lol

I agree Caz, the ladies here are truly wonderful and truthfully, I come here before I go to anyone else now......

Don't worry stitch, I think we are so befuddled by our own miserys that it has probably gone unnoticed. Either way, nobody knows where we live so they can't come lock us up....lol

I am one who is already warning my daughters about the potential dangers of peri! I have one daughter that is 30 on her next birthday, she has had her tubes tied (which sometimes brings on early peri) and she has seriously abused her body in her short life (recovering drug addict, smoker, drinker) so I expect she will go thru meno early.

I asked a doctor the other day, why don't women get WARNED about how bad meno can be for some of us? He said, Well, who would sign up for it then?

Made me laugh, but like we have a CHOICE!! It was a male doctor...figures.

ON PS??? NO, NEVER! WHAT THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE OFFER IS UNCONDITION LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. IT GETS NO BETTER THAN THAT. I CAN LET ALL MY CRAZY SHOW (AND WE KNOW THERE'S A BIT) AND IM SUPPORTED ALL THE MORE FOR IT. OUR FLAWS ARE WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE...SO CELABRATE THEM!!!

Mark me 'yes'. >:-)

Hello DebraD,

I recently went to an Urgent Care at the hospital and was given a script of Ativan. At night I have to get outside because of feeling claustrophobic. I walk and pace hoping to be able to relax. The adrenaline surges come in waves leaving me to believe it will never stop. After hours of waiting for this to pass I am left exhausted and terrified while feeling very alone and helpless. One afternoon I began to panic about the upcoming night. After having drinks late into the evening I thought I would be able to sleep and without any fear. I woke up several hours later and headed to the bathroom. I was hot then nauseas and put my head down while sitting on the toilet. I was hoping I wouldn’t faint. I started to panic and had to get somewhere cooler because of the increasing internal heat. To the garage I went and ended up laying on the floor not wanting to fall down. I don’t hyperventilate but I do have all the other symptoms. Not long after laying there everything slowly returned to normal and I was able to get up. This carried on through out the night and by morning I went to Urgent Care. I ended up here looking for some understanding behind what is happening to me and I found one of you’re posts. You posted to Evening and Symptoms with a very perceptive and vivid description of something so personal but yet similar to me. My husband came home and I sat him down to read you’re post. I had been trying to explain my physical symptoms so he could understand what I was going through. He didn’t comment that he thought you were any of the words you have described of yourself. I was able to show him there was an explanation to my madness and others were having the same problem. You were a light at the end of my tunnel and an awareness that I wasn’t alone. Thank you for you’re honesty and you’re craziness because it helped me to change my fear into something more positive.

Debra,

Just last week I posted a thread I will probably regret forever. (I got my period just yesterday and feel that it must have been bearing down on me and I was oblivious to it) Thank God that the Thread was removed!! It was just that bad for I had obviously offended many people of which I had NO intention. (Normally, unless stressed and dealing with hormonal symptoms I'm a really happy person, but that day I had been pushed to the brink and it showed) I make no excuses for myself, even using the excuses of peri- or PMS sounds thin to me and I've had a lot of reflecting to do as well as try to put "nets" out to catch me should I ever be tempted to do that again. I've learned my lesson and in a very painful way.

While I received many personal emails as well as PM's regarding that particular thread both positive and negative (mostly positive) I realized that I had embarrassed myself and I was ashamed for "going off" the way that I had. I've also realized that there are some things that simply cannot be brought to this board and better left on a counselor's couch or even still, shouted only to yourself in some quiet sound proof arena.

The last thing I've learned here is that "Once you've rang the bell...there's no "unringing" it," and all one can do after that, is damage control.

Krissy, It's when we dare to speak the truth, no matter the consequences that we can accomplish change. Even if that change begins with ourselves. Sometimes the only way I found the right path was to fall on my face and get and upclose view. If your like me then you have spent a lot of time thinking and rethinking what you could have, would have and should and shouldn't have said. Go into your mind and see this as not a chapter of your life, but just a page, one that your not happy with. See yourself tear the page out, crumple it up and throw it in the fireplace. Watch it burn to ashes. Watch the ashes go up the chimney. Done, over. I have put my foot into my mouth more times than I would like to remember. I made amends and found it imperitive to move on. That's called good mental health. Ps...I was on a dating site and joined the blogs and sometimes I would write some really inappropriate things that shocked many. I got all kinds of emails. Some good some not so good. Today I can laugh about it.....lol

I can so relate!! I have been keeping a journal for the last 12 months. I look back at it and see some days where I was a complete basket case. But then, I also see some days where I was almost the old me again.

It really helps me to see this. When I start falling apart again, I just keep reminding myself "it's just hormones, it's just hormones, it's just hormones!"

I have mix feeling about my posts, some are totally insane!
Others I read and think oh how clever> greeze I wrote that!
Like the old me is still alive deep inside.
I see through my posts the roller coaster ride I have been on!
The freedom I feel on P-S is priceless> I would never open up to anyone like that in real life!
At least on the outside I look normal and happy!
Inside is a crazy menopausal woman!
There has to be an outlet!
TG for P-S!!!

I am a 60 year old man. Help. Menopause. The woman I dearly love, and with whom I have been with for 5 years, with deep heartfelt intimacy and no major problems, has cut me off, shunned me completely. I wrangle with with selfish concerns of abandonment, etc., but have had an epiphany realizing what she must be going through. Where do I go from here?

Hi and welcome,
Go to the 'Board Discussions' list here and scroll down to 'Men, This One's for You'. It's a men's forum and there are already some great topics there from men going throught the same as you. Read it all, and also do this same post there. I'm sure you will find lots of helpful replies and info. You are not alone! Many other men are going through this also.