please write me if you are feeling the same way. I have written here many times but have been afraid to write my true feelings until now. I am 46 and living in a country where I can't drive or get out. For years I accepted this and also my husband's many rules and regulations in our home and lives. Now what the heck has happened to me? I am furious with his constant nagging and picking and my lack of basic freedom in my home as well as outside of it. I used to just "****
it up" but now feel great rage and anger. This doesn't help his attitude and has made him even more controlling and angry. I can't yell or scream or speak to him or he is in a rage. I feel this is all my fault and am a ball of tangled up hormones.One day thinking o.k. I am not patient enough I need to try harder and the next thinking this is ridiculous and who gets mad about not pouring dish soap into a different bottle or keeping the sponge on the counter. No he doesn't have OCD just control issues. For me before the nicer side of him in between used to be enough now I am unable to muster a hug when he tries to mend the fence. But no sorries or kindness has left me blank and down. I have 9 kids to support and live abroad so I feel like not many options. Anyone dealing with a spouse like this or is it just me and perimenopause??? I am so confused.

My goodness, where on earth are you living where you have no freedom? How awful!!

It is a very normal reaction to deep seated resentment, which apparently you have been feeling deep down inside for many years. I can't advise you what to do, and with 9 children! No wonder you are feeling like you are. I don't blame you. And it is unlikely that your husband would let you go anyways. I am sorry you are having such a rough time.

Wow, you must live in a very restrictive country/culture! So sorry your husband is so controlling. I certainly don't think it's because your of hormones but I've no doubt the problems you encounter don't help them.
Do you have family you can stay with if it gets to bad?

Hugs,
Jalyn

ok, momof9 ....i am familiar with Saudi,,,i have been there many times, and have a few friends there, i know what you are talking about! Are you originally from the U.S.? is your husband? (that, is a biggie, which I know you know!).
I am an attorney, but haven't practiced in a few years now, but, i know about the Saudi lifestyle and laws.
I work for the govt. as well, (nothing I can mention here), but I would love to hear from you.....PM me!
I want to help. You are definatley, dealing with peri issues, because what peri does, is brings out what 's already in there.
You do have a lot of PENT UP feelings, and I feel so bad for you! How long have you been over there?
No, it is NOT YOU.....you sound like you have done the best you can! You have so many children, and that alone, can be stressful. Peri amplifies all of it. Yes, its normal to be upset about pouring soap into diff. bottles...lol...i've done it!
Listen, this is all normal for peri and hormonal changes. YOu will find yourself being really mad about things that years ago, you wouldn't have been. But, for you, well maybe you should have spoken up sooner, and let out this resentment, but i know full well, in your situation, being over there.......YOU CAN'T! I feel so bad for you! You are not alone at all!
PM me......we can talk.

sincerely, MyDarling

Hi Momof9,
When I read your post I thought wow here is a strong woman.
As My Darling says Prei can have our minds running all over the place.

Dont be afraid to write your true feelings as nobody is here to judge you. Sometimes the life we have may not be the one we would like to choose for ourselves.

If I was in your situation of not being able to drive etc I would feel just like you do now. Also your a busy Mom with 9 kids so alot of your time will probably be spent with the kids.
I enjoy it when my kids are here but I also love the time that I have to myself.

In some Cultures you have to live by what the Husband says as there is no choice I know that but have you got anybody there that you could maybe talk to and share you feelings that will keep what you say to themselves as I think that will help you alot?

I hope you come back here and post as I think it will help you to deal with whats going on and remember we are here for you whenever you need someone to talk to.

((((HUGS))) to you. Take care from Deb

My dear friend

I too live in a country which has not been the easiest.Fortunately women can drive and get out but many are forbidden to by either their husbands and family.Please never feel you have to repress your feelings here.We are here for you one hundred percent!

I came to the Middle East at the age of twenty.Big culture shock!Bossy in laws,mother-in-law who watched my every move etc.I was a walking skeleton for many years.a real bundle of nerves.My husband is good hearted but as the only son felt the World revolved around him.Always getting into rages and me trying to appease.It only really stopped as I got stronger and told him I wanted out.He did not believe me.My elder son helped me and I lived alone for a heavenly year

We eventually reconciled and you should see the change!

No what you are feeling is not just Menopausal but you are very angry.You have nine children and that cannot be easy.Is there anyway that you can get in touch with your Embassy to see if you can get the help you need.Do you have any supportive close friends to talk to.Are you able to get the Medical help you may need to get you through Menopause.

Finally,what about your family back home?I must admit I never told mine anything for years but when I did speak they were very understanding.

My E mail is conroyelizabeth@hotmail.com it you would like to talk more.

I pray for you.
Many of the friends that I had when I first moved out here did not make the course.One woman left with her 8 children with the help of her Embassy.Now I am not saying that this is what you should do but you have the right to peace and freedom within your own home

God Bless
Elizabeth

Wow, Elizabeth,

Your story is inspirational! Bless your heart for being such a strong and smart woman.

Momof9, it may surprise you to know that in the United States, there are women who are also very controlled by their husbands, and feel they have no "choices." Some of them experience verbal or physical (or both) brutality. Their husbands watch their every move.

This is a world-wide issue. We women must support one another.

(((HUGS)))

JJ

Dear JJ

Thanks so much for your kind response and yes,my dear,this is a World Wide problem.And Thank God for great ladies like you

God Bless
Elizabeth