Hi Ladies

I need your advice on this one. My eight year old neice wants to complete in a beauty pageant and her parents and I are not sure how we feel about it. On the one hand I think the positive aspects are that she is learning to get up in front of people and is being taught good-gooming and poise. She is currently in cheerleading and loves it.

On the negative side I worry that it may be sending her the wrong message. I worry that it may be putting too much emphasize on what is on the outside rather than on the inside.

I spoke to the pageant director and she assured me that my neice would not be wearing make-up (not allowed under 13) and that her costumes would have to be deemed age appropriate. There are many different categores such as photogenic, swimsuit, jean king and queen, costume and many others. There is not a beauty category just a dressy apparel category where the girls where their Sunday best.

The prizes are tiaras banners trophies and toys. Every child wins a prize. I competed in pageants when I was younger and it was a wonderful experience. Mind you I was also in my teens. As a matter of fact a girl I went to high school with went on to be a top ten finisher in the Miss Universe pageant.

It is her descion to compete we are not pushing her. Is she old enough to decide for herself though? Should we tell her to wait until she's thirteen?

Have any of you ladies had your daughters or grandaughters compete at a young age? When should they be able to decide for themselves?

Any input would be helpful Thanks
Tara

As long as she is not made up to look like a "sexy woman" I think it is fine.It sounds like a decent pageant,designed to make girls feel good about themselves.Just remind her that what is on the inside is much more important!GOD-bless

I think there are a lot of well adjusted girls in pagents that do just fine. I think there are a lot who get mixed signals and just the opposite of what we want for our girls happens.

Personally, I wouldn't risk it. But that's just my opinion. I think there are other ways to learn self esteem, and self appreciation. Mostly I just think it's a financial rip-off. These pagents are very expensive, and then there is always someone who thinks she should take classes (more money), professional photos (more money), the right clothes (even more money)... it never ends. And all this money is spent on the pretense of some major pay off in the end.

I think the pay off is right at home.

But like I said... that's just my opinion. Good luck either way!!!

XOXOXOXO

A lot of people won't like what I have to say, but you asked for opinions, so here it is.

I am totally and completey opposed to beauty pageants of any kind. I think they objectify and demean women. We have an epidemic of eating disorders in this country because our society puts so much emphasis on outwards appearances. Young girls are literally starving themselves to death so that they fit some media-induced image of what a woman is 'supposed' to look like' tall, skinny, parading around in a swimsuit.

I don't want to offend you in any way, and I'm afraid I might, especially since you were in pageants yourself. But I think any contest that is based on looks...whether they be clothing, hair, face, etc, is just wrong. There aren't any pageant contestants in wheelchairs or using walkers...something to think about. No matter how much someone argues the opposite, the central theme of beauty pageants is physical appearance. Judges may indeed take a geniune interest in the opinions of each contestant; their intellgence, or desire to contribute to society. But I hardly think the majority of spectators have such noble intentions. It's well known that pedophiles love to watch kiddie pageants.

Again, I don't want to upset or offend anyone...and it seems that demographics plays an a role in the perception of these pageants. In the southern part of the U.S., beauty pageants are much more commonplace and accepted than here in the North. I had a good friend in high school who was quite beautiful (in fact she is now a well known anchorwoman on tv) who did the pageant circuit for years. Yes, she received fame and some money...but the stories she told of the competitiveness, back-stabbing, and unhealthy habits these girls adopted in order to maintain their 'perfect' appearance shocked and disgusted me.

So, since you asked, my answer would be: no way. Let her compete in a spelling bee, a science fair, a writing competition, heck she can even design her own clothes or learn to style hair. But an eight year old walking around in a swimsuit while the public watches? My vote is no.

I'm going to have to agree with Robin on this one. I remember watching the Miss America Pagent every year when I was a little girl growing up. In my mind, even at such a young age, I always thought to myself, "I will NEVER be pretty enough to do that." It did have a profound effect on me.

I agree with RR. These pageants are harmful in my opinion. They dress these little girls up like 20 year olds with makeup and all. I have not ever seen a pagaent that the girls were without makeup. The way they have to move and dance is not becoming of an 8-year-old.

It sounds like your niece is involved with plenty of activities that will give her self-confidence a wonderful boost.

Couldn't agree more Robin. well said!

Hi Ladies

Thank-you so much for all of your input. The Christmas pageant has been cancelled so now we have to wait and see about the Sweetheart Pageant in February. In the meantime we are thinking about going to another pageant so my niece can see for herself what it all entails.


Robin I wasn't offended at all by your opinion. Growing up I was extremely shy and pageants helped bring me out of my shell. I tried public speaking it just didn't appeal to me.My dance teacher competed in the Miss Ontario pageant and I looked up to her. The pageants were just something fun to do. I didn't take them seriously. Half the time my friends and I would erupt into giggles.Those memories are precious to me now and I wouldn't trade them for the world.


Texas Girl : I started watching the Miss America pageant when I was five. I would walk around the house with my paper crown on for days stating that one day I would be Miss America. Of course I was crushed when my mother told me I was Canadian and couldn't be Miss America. I could be miss Canada but I liked the Miss America crown better. A friend bought me a replica of the Miss America crown for Christmas and we had a good laugh. As for feeling not pretty enough don't sell yourself short!

Robin, I couldn't agree with you more. This post is absolutely on target. I also believe that kiddie pageants are pedophile magnets. I find them offensive.

The girls are sexualized (at the hands of their mothers.) I think they're creepy.

I agree wholeheartedly with Robin! So-called 'beauty pageants' give children a distorted view of what life is all about. There are other ways to give girls a social setting that will encourage them to overcome shyness, etc. and get involved in things around them. They don't have to be put up on a stage and crowned Miss Whatever to give them a sense of accomplishment. I wonder why there aren't "Handsome Pageants" for boys?

Anna in Texas

[quote name='virtualhorizon' date='Nov 6 2008, 08:51 PM' post='249345']
I agree wholeheartedly with Robin! So-called 'beauty pageants' give children a distorted view of what life is all about. There are other ways to give girls a social setting that will encourage them to overcome shyness, etc. and get involved in things around them. They don't have to be put up on a stage and crowned Miss Whatever to give them a sense of accomplishment. I wonder why there aren't "Handsome Pageants" for boys?

Anna in Texas
[/quote}

Actually Anna boys do compete as well. I am still not sure what we are going to do about it though. thank-you for your reply.