I know it sounds completely irrational with the way the economy is, but I am finding I am under constant stress and anxiety. I used to love my job, now I am paranoid about everything I do. I want to quit and find a work from home job, that does not require contact with people. I feel like I am losing it. Can anybody relate to this need to hibernate in solitude? My frustration tolerance is nil and getting worse.

I have days when the mere thought of dealing with other humans makes me want to throw up.I hate faking it,you know what I am saying.The best thing to do is remind yourself what is causing this,and ask yourself what the you before peri would have done.I hope you get some relief!GOD-bless

The last time I felt like this was long before peri. It was the only time I quit my job without notice. I went in on the weekend, cleaned out my desk, and left my resignation letter and keys on the boss's desk. I would not do that to this boss. I have given myself a good talking to, and am trying all the harder to make people happy, but I just don't know how much I have left to give. I'm thinking about taking a leave of absence to think things through. I wonder if the boss will allow a 5 year LOA until I get through peri?

Hi Gracie,
I can totally relate. In fact, I worked for a school district and was due to go back to work in August. I had been stressing about it all summer, fretting with the thought of going back and dealing with people and "issues" and the whole shameel. I had fretted myself into a panic! Anyway, with my hubby's blessings I quit...23 hours before I was due to go back! Then I cried and mourned about it for 2 or 3 days. You know what? it was the BEST decision I've ever made! Now, I wouldn't recommend that to everyone, especially if finances are an issue.I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home now and although we aren't "rich" we can certainly handle living on one income. I wouldn't have been able to say that 10 years ago as we needed both incomes. I had recently read that during peri we tend to look inward at our lives and ourselves and it is very common for women our age to want to switch gears and give up jobs, marriages, former lifestyles etc. Is there a way you can cut back your hours, maybe work only part time? Otherwise, there are many wonderful opportunities for work at home positions. Google it when you have time. If you can quit and stay home I think you might find, as I have that you will actually feel better. Best of luck to you.

Thanks much. What you say makes sense. As a single person, not working is not an option. I have my own business which would supplement the difference in income if I cut back to part time. I think my employer offers insurance for part-time workers. The only problem I see is that my work load is a full time load, they would need to hire another part time person to make up the difference and I don't think they would do that.

Finances being what they are I just can't quit. And the economy being what it is I would be afraid to. And further my age being 52.....well that freaks me out in relation to getting another job. Who might want me???

I work with patients. <sigh> Half the time I want to shake sense into them, the other half of the time I want one of the "teddy bear" or matronly types to hold me while I cry.

Dear "Gracie'
Just like 'Ajay'calling it a day was the best thing I ever did for myself and I believe for my fellow colleagues and students. too I was a Primary Headmistress,an English Teacher prior and had worked for about 18 years.Then I felt I could no longer take the stress and give of my best.Had to keep downing Zanax and that is no way to operate.

I went to see my Boss,incidentally a man.He lightened my load and allowed me to give six months notice and still enjoy all my benefits plus get my Teacher's Pension.Yes,it took a while to adjust.Do I regret it "No'.I was snappy and unstable and adored my students too much to carry on like that.

I now do Voluntary work and feel fufilled without over burdened and pressurised'

I wish you all the best in whatever decision you reach..
God Bless and Good Luck
Elizabeth

I think an LOA is a good idea.You can get a bit of rest and make decisions better.GOD-bless

Advice: Look before you leap... Have a plan. An LOA is an excellent idea so you can have a chance to look fully at the situation and new options before quitting. I know from my past experience these past few years - I'm having a terrible time, really struggling, getting along with others at work - not the fun ones that make your day and do their job - the one's I swear, are incredibly annoying,, negative, whiney and difficult on purpose!!! I don't want to even look at them, let alone talk to them. I just don't play the game well anymore (no more patience for such nonsense!) Heavy sigh.

Does anyone else feel like this??? Am I loosing my mind?!? And it certainly doesn't help feeling incredibly puke-ish each morning.

I say, If you can quit without consequence to your survival - why not!!! For those of us who have no choice... Must work... Please somebody offer wisdom/help.

P.S. Danger! The bad news is, in a tight/competitive market for those at or around 50 years old; neither an "I just quit" or an "LOA" from a past employer will help getting another job quickly. For those of us who review applicants, these "why did you leave" answers raise red flags - and we tend then to look further for other qualified applicants. I guess it's most wise to get another job before you quit.

So, can someone tell me what the purpose is in staying? So I have a good employment history. So I can pay another bill with the money I make? Isn't there supposed to be more to life than creating and paying bills? What is it and were can I find it? I'm sorry but I'm having a really tough day. If it were not for my little puppies, there would be no need to work...etc.

It has been a few days so I thought I would post a follow-up. I had a total melt-down over the weekend, had convinced myself that a client had complained to my boss about me and that I would be counseled, or worse, come Monday. Had a good long cry Saturday night, then Sunday I decided my job is causing me too much stress and I should look for something else. I posted my resume online and Monday morning, I had a call from a recruiter. I will speak to him on Thursday. Monday came and went, and guess what? No complaints. No counseling. I worked really hard the last few days to make sure all of this client's work is up to date. I learned from this that my mind is not functioning in a rational manner. I am getting way too sensitive and blowing things way out of proportion. I do believe I am my own worst enemy right now. You should treat every customer as if they may fire you the next day. Please remind me of this should I post something like this again! The other thing I learned is that I AM in control of my future. It felt good to put the feelers out and have someone be interested in what I have to offer. I am feeling better now. I do hope this thread helps someone else get through a melt down!

Dear Gracie
Am so pleased that you are feeling so much better and handling things well.Good for you!It seems it was a temporary meltdown and everything had just got on top of you

Here's hoping all continues to go well and will hold you hostage to your "Post"

Good Luck
Elizabeth

Gracie, I feel the same way. I used to love my job. I haven't worked now in about a year. I have a hard time going in public because i feel everyone is looking at me and thinking how terrible I look. I just want to hide in my house all day. I'm 49 yrs. old and I believe that my hormones are out of wack because all of a sudden my hair started falling out, I started growing facial hairs and my skin is very oily. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this since I always had really thick hair and normal facial skin with no hairs. I can't even wear make-up right now, it doesn't go on right with the excess facial hair. None of my doctors seem to be doing anything for me about my hormones. They do the standard blood test and say I am fine and just want to put me on depression and anxiety pills.( I'm not one to take all kinds of pills) I am so paranoid about this that I carry pictures around with me to show people how I looked a year ago. I went to the dermatologist when it first started happening and all they said was your not going bald and you can shave the excess facial hairs.( It was a female doctor) It's been a year and my hair is still falling out and I refuse to shave. Sorry my reply was so long.....Take Care

Dear Gracie

I just quit my job last Saturday!! I have come to the conclusion that I am not ...'living to work' - I am '...working to live'..and by 'live' I do not not mean JUST working to pay my bills. I mean working so that I have some 'life' in me! My old job was draining me faster than a bottomless pit filled with slimy water. I didn't give my 2 weeks notice until I had another job and I am taking this week off to re-group.


Good Luck in all that you seek and remember....as hard as it is after years of giving-giving-giving.......you are NUMBER ONE!


I am off to have lunch with my son......I LOVE having this week off!

Dottie

Hi Gracie --

I'm glad you're feeling a little better about things, and as you said, you ARE in control of your future, whatever it may be! I was in your shoes two years ago. I worked for a non-profit for 25 years, and I loved my job. In early 2006, though, it got to the point where I hated going to work. I woke up at 3:00 every morning, worrying about what I had to do that day, about what I hadn't gotten done the day before, and about what extra I'd be handed by my boss because she couldn't keep up with her own job. It was weird. Even though I loved my job, I hated it. I didn't want to have to put up with the irritations, and I didn't want to have to put up with the people, and I didn't want to work 12 hours a day knowing it would be the same thing twelve hours later! I know peri had a lot to do with it. So one Sunday morning I asked my hubby what he thought about me quitting. He said "go for it". So I typed up my letter of resignation, giving three months notice, and handed it to my boss the next morning. I ended up working three months past the last day I'd given on my letter because the first person hired to replace me couldn't cut it, the second person hired just decided not to show back up after the first week of training, and I stayed part-part-time to get the third person trained.

I didn't work at all for six months, then worked a very part time job. Now guess what? I'm back at the same non-profit, working part time at a job that doesn't entail all the responsibility I had before, and its great! I don't have a set schedule and the stress is completely gone.

I had, as you have, decided that I WAS in control of my future (gee, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Laura). I decided I didn't HAVE to put up with everything going on with my job. I wanted to have a LIFE. And now I do.

Marrin7, looks like you and I are in the same boat. I am 54, soon to be 55, and I am at my present job for 16 months, after being laid off from a job when my former company closed. I worked as a scientist in big Pharma, and there were about 100 scientists forced into the job market at once in January, 2007. We were all competing against each other for the same jobs. There IS ACTIVE age discrimination in the job market. I have personally been subjected to it in several of my job interviews. When I followed up on the interview, I found that a younger former colleague was hired for the scientist position I interviewed for, even though my qualifications fit the job description more than theirs did.

Nobody wants to hire us. Nobody. Believe me when I say this, you ARE correct. Nobody wants us.
The economy is bad.
There will be fewer and fewer jobs available.
Some of us will lose our jobs soon, because of the recession in the USA.

I am trapped.
I live from paycheck to patcheck.
I owe more on my home than what it is currently worth.
I am in some terrible debt, and will have to work until I die.
It is a horrible feeling to be without choices, to have to endure so much crap, just to put food on the table.

I have even thought about killing myself, so my life insurance money can help my husband and children get out of debt, and be able to live with a roof over their heads, and food on the table.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I am willing to die for my children to be able to live.

It is interesting though that when we are able to get beyond and look back at times we were so stressed out, that it really was because we had lost perspective and control of our thoughts. I spent last week practically in tears about my job, hating every second and not able to sleep. Once the weekend came and I caught up on my sleep, I came around and thought "what was that all about." It was my perception about the situation, not the reality. I agree there is active age discrimination out there. I would not just quit a job at an advanced age. I think even taking a week's leave of absence would be enough to help with overwhelming feelings without jeopardizing one's job. Armadillo, I was under the impression that if one commits suicide, there are no payouts. In any case, if you are feeling that desperate it is time for some serious changes.

I can fully relate. I spent that one bad weekend totally paranoid that I had PO'd all of my clients. NOT. I wish this anxiety and paranoia would stop. But there is a good side to it, I think twice about how I speak to people, what I will say and how I will say it.

Armadillo,

Looks like you might have worked for the same company that my girlfriend's husband worked at in Conn.
He was also a scientist for a large Pharma. She was explaining to me...about how hard it was, for him to find a job.
They finally sold their home and moved to Pa. where he did find work.

With so many being released from the Pharma at the same time...it's understandable about the job searches.
Especially, in your area.
Could you possible look to other surrounding area's, like my friend and her family?
Is a position available in your area...for a pharmacist, or related occupation?
Is there something else that you truly enjoy doing....that could replace your former position?

Someone out there...does need your assets.
Younger doesn't necessarily mean smarter, or more capable.
Education & on the job experience...speak for themselves.
You need to sell your positive points...& I'm sure you have many.

Times are tight right now...with the state of the economy.
History repeats itself....generations before us have faced the same hardships.
Working together...we will also make it through the hard times.

Many of us owe more on our homes...than their worth.
Second mortgage's, credit cards....cost of medical, food, the list goes on.

It's time to look at the good in your life.
It's time to find the blessings.

Your husband and children appear to be at the top of the list.
Do you think....the hardship would be any easier for them...if, you removed your love from them?
NO...you would teach them, to take the easy way out.
To turn and run...from the hardships in life.
How do I know this....my dad turned and ran.
I've had to work through the hard times, without his advice.
The grief and hurt is indescribable.....

Don't do this to your family.
They would rather have you stand...the hardships with them. Believe me.

Do you honestly think for one moment....that your insurance would pay for your escape?
NO.
Your family would be left...without you. Struggling together without your help and love.
With added grief and hardship to endure.

It's time to look at the situation and come up with positive solutions...
Instead of the easy out.

An added suggestion....please, see your doctor about your depression.
Many are feeling anxious and depression due to the economy.

This isn't a slap your hand kind of post...I'm not looking to hurt or condemn.
Just want to reach my hand out to you....with LOVE.

I'm always available...if, you need to talk.



Yep

My word, this is exactly what I am going through right now. Paranoia extraordinaire, feeling inadequate, and just want to quit my job.

So knowing with the economy the way it is and that this in unrealistic, what are you doing for treatment? All natural treatments are not covered by insurance (funny how men get stuff paid for). I need an answer, I can't keep living this way...

Lisa

Lisa, What 'all natural' treatments are you thinking of? If it's BHRT then yes they are. Estrogel & Prochieve and even Testosterone are covered by most insurance these days and even compounds are covered by some, Anthem for example. Even some insurance is now begining to cover acupuncturist and most will now cover massage therapist if you go to a chiropractor's office. It does sound like you need both E & T.. for the anxiousness and the loss of passion for your job... or life..

Good luck.. hope you find relief soon. This is no way to live.. especially when we don't have to.