I am an evil horrible person

I did not used to be I used to think before I spoke and know how to behave

now all I do is upset everybody

I have just spent an absolutely wonderful weekend in Paris with my partner - all was well- but now I am back home all is just the same as before

I am quite happy to let life go on as it is - I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

don't think I am making sense

but then I have no answers only questions

Is this menopause or am I depressed or just (as he says) pissed off with him and wanting him to leave without me telling him to go??????????????

I did point out a very pertinent answer to all this on here - just leave me alone - get on with your life and I will join you when I am ready - which is pretty much how I feel - he said he had read it but did not seem to action it at all

Feel like running away (tried going to my sisters for the weekend - really helped to be away from it all) BUT I have to come home and I really don't want to be here at all

Thank you for letting me rant and let off steam - no replies necessary

Hi Phiz,

Sorry you are feeling so mixed up. It seems to go with the territory of being in meno. I've felt the way you do, as though life would be easier if everyone would just LEAVE ME ALONE! I love being alone. However I can usually contain my remarks and discipline my behavior with the help of HRT. It first started with the BC pills. I was such a witch I couldn't stand my own self let alone expect anyone else too. Now I'm on the BIO HRT and that seems to keep me mellow enough. I've heard anti-depressants will help as well although I'm not sure why that would be better than HRT. But do talk to your doctor about it. This can go on for years.

((Hugs))

Phiz....

Peri/menopause has some pretty wicked symptoms...even before you think you should be experiencing them...
your monthly madness might be the same, but once those hormones start to fluctuate, boy they do such horrible things to us.

I don't know how old you are, but I started getting 'out of body' experiences at age 38 (panic attacks/anxiety) and from 40 (depression)...ongoing to 44, then insomnia/extreme anxiety/missed periods/heart palps and now I am 48 and have stopped periods (47) have started to settle down, lessened anxiety....better sleep.

As for being 'pissed off'...yes, I have been pretty mean to my husband....and he has different feelings for me now - never tells me he loves me anymore.

If you really do love your man, but have these 'horrible' feelings towards him for no apparent reason, I would let him know...let him read this website, that will soon give him a clue as to why you may be treating him this way!!

I know you asked for no replies, but sometimes it helps to hear other peoples 'problems' and to know you're not alone.

Caz

Hi and thank you was having a pretty low time last night and just hoped ranting would help

I am 47, periods stopped almost two years ago, tried HRT but got so many side effects it scared the s**t out of me so I stopped.

At present I am on Prozac for depression from the doctor and will start councelling sessions later this month, they just don't seem to hear me when I mention menopause so am going along with what they think is right hoping it will help.

I have no idea if I love my man or not - honestly I do not know and I have told him, I also asked him to look at this site, but he won't its not in his nature to seek any kind of help from anyone, although he did read the page I left open while I was out of the room, so perhaps I should do that more often.

I am pretty much numb, no anger, dizzy and confused, internal shakes, hot flushes, ice cold shivers, sweaty hands, head all over the place, feelings of not actually being in my body (sort of?), insomnia, the feeling of falling when trying to sleep, being unable to breath at times, etc etc etc ......

The palps have gone now but my rib cage feels like it is one size too small a lot of the time.

Thank you for letting me know I am not alone with these feelings - just wish I could explain to him they are not personal and I will get over it (fingers crossed) just want to run away and be alone.

I am still able to turn on the switch and pretend all is good and life is fine when in public, and work seems ok probably coz its soooo busy I dont get time to think about me and it is only part time.

Its just at home where life is flat and maybe its because I can be myself at home and around my man I dont know, I do tend to overanalize situations and feelings.

Phiz