Hello Everyone. I've been away from the site for a while (NOT ON PURPOSE). I seemed to have lost my groove in emails and message boards and stuff. Just want to update (at least wht I can remember!) on what's been happeing the last few months. While the new pills I've been taking have helped and I think I funtion better with them, I still have some pretty tough days and have been working from home more often. A) I found I enjoy the whole telecommuting thing ---takes away some of the stress I don;t have to worry if I have a system spazz at work.

I'm in the process of retesting to see where things are at and will have results some time in August. Still have all the same symptoms, it still just varies on where I am in my cycle. I've added tai chi to the mix. I think I love it more than yoga (don;t tell yoga!) and am finally going to get a wii. Its also still, every thing I do seems to help a little bit, but still haven't found the 'magic pill' My patience with it gets to me sometimes, but eventually get out of it. I'm really only looking for semi normal at this point

Things that haven't helped...most of my department didn't make it thru a sudden layoff. Not only were we sad to see these people leave, but now we also get their workload. Also, the person I went to for biofeedback left, so I ended up finding a book (saw it on pbs) and it seems like a good supplement.

My funny story is that I went to a family event (first time in a few months) and was chatting with an inlaw. We always seem to end up with similar medical issues. Well, we were chatting and she understood so much of what I was talking about. I didn;t even get into detail! A lot of the conversation was "ME TOO". She's 20 years older than me and is just experiencing stuff now. It was amazing that symptoms I have trouble explaining to doctors...she knew exactly what i was talking about. SHe's also a retired health teacher, and when we first started talking, I hadn;t gotten into any detail, and she said "welcome to menopause"

I'll try and check in at least once in a while...or as my brain allows

Hope everyone is well. I've missed chatting on a regular basis

Another update...Have had a more rollercoaster-y month than usual, also had the worst 'week before period' too. I'm so lucky to be able to work from home, don;t know what else I'd do. My period started 3 days ago with a bang (it knocked me out) and as I'm writing, came to an abrupt stop. A little bit of what looks brownish right at the end too. Not sure if its really stopped or will start again later. Someone had posted "stop the roller coaster I want to get off now" ...I;m in the seat behind you!!!!! Take me with you!!!! Also, as my flow has decreased, I've become anxious again. Related? I think so. But that's just me.

My husband also thinks I should get out more whether I feel well or not. I do try, but sometimes its too much. I know he's trying to be a helper, and that he's annoyed this has been going on for a year and a half, but every exercise thing I do seems to not be good enough for him (sometimes the doctors too). I even JUST got a wii (WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE). Its awesome, and while he LOVES games, he doesn;t think it will help. He hasn;'t tried the tennis!!!!! I have wii elbow now too. Its still awesome!!!!!!!

thanks for listening to the continuing saga of jdog

Hi Jdog,

Thanks for the update on the "continuing saga!"

We can relate... This sure is a process, and not a quick transition.

We're all riding the waves with you...

(((HUGS)))

JJ

Thanks for that little note JJ! Always glad to know theres a whole posse out there

And now... the continuing story of a j whose gone to the dogs.....

Since my last update, my period sputtered along for a couple more days. Clean stops and starts, and varying shades of red, including brown!!! I had read somewhere on this site before about the brown, but haven't re-found it yet. From what I vaguely remember...this might be a good sign that things may be turning my way....man I hope my vague memory is correct!!!!!!! I hope to have my test results back in a couple weeks, but the way things are going, the results are probably old new by now. I did also notice that during the sputtering, whenever flow (what there was of it) would start again, I would have sudden bouts of anxiousness. It was weird. I wish I had paid closer attention to when its been happening before, but mid cycle and end of cycle have always been the worst. I also come in and out of the popular "i can't stand these symptoms anymore" (which I'm in right now). Trying to shake it off. Reading other message postings around the site always help the cause! And it just helps sometimes, writing thoughts out.

Not really related...I'm dealing with my first ingrown toenail. Never had one before!!! Its the whole, if its not one thing its another. And, my poor old sick kitty is having a tougher time these days. Feel bad for her, but we're trying to keep her comfy.

till the next installment....

Got all my tests back and the pills are working!!!!!!!! My estrogen is almost down to normal, as well as the cortisol. Granted it took 6 months instead of 3 to kick in, but I'm starting to feel symptoms ease up a little. I'll have a few hours at a time where I feel less bad....which is good! Noticed my cycle is getting longer. At one point it was getting shorter, but I'm now at about 31 days. Today my period is thinking about starting...I can certain feel stuff going on, but who knows. My pill regimen has changed slightly, don't need to take as much, but we've added the vitex back in. Have found chamomile and tension tamer tea to be helpful, and was advised to try carrob powder to see if that helps with the excess gas/faux throw issues. Besides tai chi, I'm trying to walk daily now, and play wii sports for at least a 1/2 hour several times a week. My husband and I came to blows as he is officially sick of me being ill for so long with this (like I'm not sick of it). BUT I look forward to the new me, and the new fun and possibilities it'll bring. I also agreed to go see a counselor regarding dealing with chronic health issues. While I feel like I'm having to do all the changing (guess that is why they call it "the change"), I'll do what I gots ta do!!!!!

cheers everyone...till the next "exciting" installment...

Dear 'jdog
Am realtively new here but happened to see your thread so just wanted to say 'Hi' and congratulate you on feeling better.It sounds like it has been a rough journey but looks like a light at end of tunnel

So glad you are getting help with your health problems.The illnesses that I have imagined having with every symptom,is amazing.

Men do their best but are quite insensitive and until they "Walk a half-mile,let alone the full Mile"in our Menopausal shoes"they have little or no comprehension of what we go through.I always say that if men had these issues they would demand double strength HRT every few minutes!

Anyway.all the best
Keep us posted of your progress
Elizabeth

Dear Jdog,

It sounds like you are doing your best to feel better and that is all anyone of us can do.

Every time I read a story of someone hanging on and seeking care, I feel a little bit stronger.

There is hope. Despite the downfalls and delays.

Thanks for the update and keep every one posted as you feel better. And it sounds like you will.

janeann

Hi everyone. Thanks as always for your thoughts and wisdom!!

Monthly update time. Oh boy! Feel about the same as my last update, but haven't gotten worse. I'll take it. still have some rough spots here and there, and still working from home, but I can go to the store and shop under those flourescents now, and take regular showers again. This is how I now things are getting better. My period gets lighter and shorter with each passing month, but 'symptoms' still last the whole 7 days. The anxiety has gotten more prominent since the estrogen went back down. its been there for a while, but a lower degree. I guess now it has a chance to shine. I have had a couple therapy sessions so far and they have been helpful in dealing with long term health issues and the anxiety that goes with them, but is also a symptom at the same time. Its a mix of counseling and art therapy. Its getting me back into art again, which I haven't done in years. I told her about this web site and how great it is for support...and if I didn't work on computers all day, and had more of my brain back, I'd be on more often!! She said it sounded like a cool group of ladies!

I'm also entering a contest to win tickets to Menopause the Musical. Its coming to town, so I'll give it a shot. Not sure if I can afford tickets right now, so free would be good!

That's it for now...till the next installment, though will always try to get on the boards more often.

Oh MY Goodness!!!! (OR OMG!!!! for you text-ers out there) I've been away too long again!!!! Happy belated Halloween and Fall....and I better get it out of the way now...Happy Thanksgiving!

I didn't win the tickets to Menopause the Musical Oh well...had to try.

Things haven't changed too much (at least I'm consistent. My cycle is getting shorter again with each passing month, and is fairly light for most of the time. The internal shaking, which used to be mild and had gone away for a while, has returned with much vigor. It usually occurs in the evening, but the intensity is 'earth shaking'. Though I will say the episodes are shorter. Had some reappearances of 'itchy shins' and super puffy eyes, the weird head muscle ache, etc. The time before my period thru when it starts and mid-cycle are still icky, but I seem to be able to make it thru with SLIGHTLY less trouble. I'll take what I can get In a way I have noticed an overall change towards the better, but I swear as more and more the other symptoms start to ease, the anxiety gets more of a boost. Still doing the therapy, and it is quite helpful. I've got a ways to go, but I can tell a change is starting to happen (another 'the change'). I can certainly handle the others symptoms much better than before, and I'm sure the more I practice I'll get even better-er.

With the art therapy I've been introduced to mandalas, and I'm quite facinated, have colored a few I found online, and have made a couple myself. Have been thinking for years of making a "pill mosaic" with old pills I had to stop taking or don;t take anymore. Never knew what design, but the mandala will be perfect, and using old pills representing what I've been thru in the last 8-10 years (the first small inklings of wacky stuff with the hormones, the thyroid, the celiac, the host of other weird medical things, and now the peri stuff). Getting ideas for a design now. Just planning on gluing it together, but not sure how to seal it (Any ideas?). Maybe I can try and post it here once its done.

I do think about you all often, because I mention this site almost every week at my therapy session! How great a resource it is , how encouraging everyone is, and that I wish I could spend more time on it.

Hope all is well

Ta - Ta till the next installment

jdog,

Good for you! I am glad to hear that you are being proactive in regards to your health.

Your idea of making a mandala with old medication makes me smile ... that would be quite the project.

Haven't been visiting PS as much because of work obligations, but still need to read the stories to glean advice and
hope.

Looking forward to the next "installment".

janeann

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!! I've gained a little more improvement...can even last in a store longer & can 'push' thru the symptoms with a little more ease. My period started New Year's Day (evening...Happy New Year to me). Very light, then stopped and is starting up again (light) today. This is my first period start in a long time where me and my body felt a huge...AHHHHHHH. I'll take it since the last few days were excessive gas pains, a 'faux fest', and the other usual ickies. Still doing the art therapy thing and it is going well...I can certainly deal with my symptoms alot better, and it takes longer before they start to get to me. Still working from home, but its what is best for me right now. And, Still working on the pill mandala (using wax as the 'glue') and started beading/making jewelry. FInally have a Wii fit and it is alot of fun, and since I can use the board for wii music, I am now learning how to play the drums!!! (ROCK ON). I'm a little bummed my ND moved across town (she needed a bigger space)...it was very convenient at her old location. Oh, and I've also been introduced to the Tao/Te Pooh/Piglet books. Very fascinating.

Cheers till next time...

Hi Jdog,

I've just noticed your updates and wanted to say thanks for posting. As I was reading your earlier post I wanted to shout out, celiac because your ongoing symptoms seemed to suggest that then I noticed in one of your later post you mention celiac. So you have already eliminated gluten from your diet and still struggle? Once I went off the gluten I began to get better each day. I'm sorry it didn't work as well for you.

We just gave my DGD a Wii Fit for Christmas. She loves it... my DH & I have talked about getting a Wii and some of the games for us but we don't even play cards. I'm not sure if we would ever get it out of the box.

Hope 2009 is a wonderful year for you!

Happy Almost February Everyone and hope that the Ground Hog tells of an early spring...not that groundhogs can talk....at least not that I know of....

My cycle is getting yet shorter and I think I'm having my first 'phantom period' as we speak. In some sense I think I'm supposed to give myself a congratulations (I almost did the first time I got 'the brown'. My period started as usual, a couple days early and VERY light. Then nothing till the next day, VERY light. Then....nothing. BUT, have had all the 'joy' of the usual aches, pains, ickies and what have you before my period started. It still feels like my system is going thru the motion (still with all the extra 'fun') but there ain't nothin' there.

Still working from home, but starting to get the impression from some at my employment that I should be better by now. I'm "glad" that people who have no idea what I'm going thru know what is best for me. I'm not saying I'm not appreciative of their concern and care, but something seems to have changed. My DH and I still get into little tiffs about the peri related stuff, but since he came to one of my therapy sessions, we're at least able to communicate about it a little better. There's room for improvement, but I'm sure we'll get there.

Art Therapy still going well. Have a ways to go, but it is SO helpful. About 1/2 way done with the pill mandala and continuing working on beading/jewelry. And, strangely since using wii fit, it has actually readjusted my balance...which was way off!! Feeling more balanced give me more confidence when I'm not feeling to well....At least I can stand up straight Trying to get out to walk daily again, now that its warmed up a little. Even if I just do a little work outside, at least I got out and moved around.

Well wishes to everyone....till next time....

Dear 'jdog'

And a Happy New Year to you too.

So pleased to hear that you are doing much better.That is great that your husband attended a Therapy Session.At least he made an effort.

Art Therapy sounds fun.One of my great passions is arranging flowers and candles and cute antiques that I come across.I couldn't draw a picture or do anything crafty to save my life.

good for you for getting around more and having greater balance.I swear my twice weekly Yoga sessions are my physical and emotional life savers!

Anway hope you continue to do well

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

Dear JDog,
Good news from you is always welcome. I am relieved that you are doing better.
You had some support from the husband, going with you to a therapy session is good.
Working on your art is also good. Can you post a photo of your pill madala when you are done?
I would like to see it, but I bet many others would too.

Dear Elizabeth,

I like to arrange things too. Tablescapes. That's what I call it. In fact, I'm going to put out the
Valentines decorations today in that kind of fashion.

I like to hear the proactive things women do to get out of the "funk" ... I continue to have hope for myself.

~janeann~

Dear janeann'
thank you for your nice Post.I honestly believe that things do get better but I just wish I had had a bit of knowledge on how to deal with Menopause before it hit

I really thought Periods just ended and that was that.What a fool.However,compared to many ladies I am blessed in having a sympathetic Gyno.who although is always trying to get me off the HRT,does respect my need to take it!

Have a good day
Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

Thanks for your comments ladies!!! Its a comfort to know you are out there I will definitely try and post a picture of the pill mandala once I'm done. Like other things, I can only seem to work on it at certain times of the month....go figure

So here is a **special mid month mini-edition**....

Funny story ("funny" not ha-ha)....Shortly after I did my last post, my ovaries went CRAZY (I think they knew I was writing about them). It felt like a burst of something though my system from the ovary area (almost felt like when stuff from an IV hits your system). I felt so sick for couple hours. A few hours after that my period started up again (very light). The next day it was back to 'regular light' for a few days, then back to very light for a couple more days (I think total time was 8 days instead of 7...a new First for me!). The weird ovary burst thing happened a few more times, but luckily to a lesser degree. It was like they were thinking, "I know I'm supposed to be doing something, so I'm going to try really really hard to do it". I haven't felt quite right since (sort of closer to when this all first started), but using all my tools to try and help me muddle through a little easier. And, Since my mid-cycle and end of cycle 'excitement' are getting closer together, I'm not sure what happens when they 'meet in the middle', but being the optimist, I'm hoping for a burst of relief....a girl can dream

Cheers all...till next time...
jdog

Happy Daylight savings (though personally I'm not sure why we still have it). I was doing well with hitting the boards more often again, but then my last period came along....

This time I felt pretty icky every other day, in the week before. A true roller coaster ride. My period was a little lighter overall, and didn't last quite as long...though this was the first time in ages, that it actually started on the same day as the prior month! Was trying hard to focus on that as a good thing...a sense of stabilization, plus the every other day thing ...its usually every day, so that's a start. A couple days after my period ended my system had a spazz similar to what happened (but on a smaller scale) when my system first went kooky a couple years ago...and almost to the day!!! Happy Peri-versary to me!!! I would have just preferred a card! So after another poo, a few faux throws, and mucho burps and f**ts, I felt alot better, but totally wiped out. HAve been feeling a little funky since...the face breaking out seems to confirm the hormones are a-shifting again. Also seemed to have a little spotting today. My period normally still hangs on for a whole 7 days, but didn't this time, so I assume it felt confused again. This has all made me feel a little down again, but I know I'll work my way out of it. I've been finding in art therapy, that there is alot of layers yet to be pulled away!! I guess I'm making up for the growing pains I didn't have in puberty...no cramps and rarely a face breakout! Ah, youth....

But wait...there is some good news....I finally got a new clock radio, that also has nature sounds, so I can either rock out, or listen to birds or babbling brooks. The speaker isn't too hot, but other than that its awesome. I love falling asleep to water sounds. My DH seems to like it too.but he always sleeps better than me and can fall asleep in the blink of an eye And, my doc suggested I try show inserts to see if it helps with the knee and shoulder cracking. I found some that were super inexpensive, but quite comfortable!!!! I ordered them (and the radio...which was on sale!!) online, so footcare orders came with a free tube of natural foot odor gel you wipe on your feet (it has peppermint and tea tree oil). It smells good and actually kinda works. I figure my feet are overdue in getting some attention!

Still have all my art projects in progress, and have been collecting foils candy wrappers to eventually make a collage, but I really would like to get the pill mandala finished first.

Well I think that is it for now....till the next riveting installment...
Take care everyone!!!!!

Happy Spring (though it doesn't quite feel like it yet!)....So... I think I've hit that 'runners wall'. I'm sick of it (both officially and unofficially). This last period was the shortest and lightest to date, but the symptoms still get pretty intense just before and after. I even had a little bit of brown again. Super light/on and off for a couple days (and brown), the heavy day was pretty light, then a couple superlight days. Also, this is the second month in a row that a couple days after my period ended, a big system spazz. This one was an 'old school early AM' spazz. Used to have this happen quite often in the first year or so. Heart racing super fast...till the faux throws, and then things started to calm a little. After bathroom-break, a TON more gas came out. Then I was just wiped out for the rest of the day. At least I can handle these intense situation better now, but that doesn't mean I like it. I'm already not looking forward to next month, but my hope is that things are actually backing out the way they came in, and slowly but surely, things will become super tolerable. I can seem to do a little more throughout the month, even when times feel tough, so that seems like progress to me!

I always have a touch and hearing sensitivity, but htis time there was also taste. That is a new one. There were a couple food items that the taste was so strong, I couldn't eat them...yet a few days later, I try the leftovers, and there was barely flavor. This is a symptom that I could handle if it stuck around! Also, my mouth got drier than usual in the few days before my period started.

Still having some knee cracking problems (and wrists), but the shoulders don't crack nearly as much. Actually trying to up my calorie count by a few hundred calories per day (trying!, but chocolate pudding can only do so much ), and still working on some art stuff, as well as art therapy. Have been concentrating on wii fit most of this month, trying to build up my muscles. I look forward to it warming up some again, so I can go for pleasant walks.

Sure, it doesn't help that my job has been in limbo for a year, and I'll find out soon if I need to turn to selling stuff online for a while. Something I've never done, so maybe its time I give it a whirl.

And.. preparing for a blood draw in a few weeks to get retests on vit d, thyroid, and a few other things. Something that used to be super simple for me is now trying. Have been working on that in therapy, so think it'll be a little better (I'd like it to be better!) Last time she even gave me a stuffed animal to hold Whatever works!!!

Best wishes to everyone!!!
...till the next chapter........