Wondering which you other ladies, pefer to go to a female or male gyneclogist?


I'm kinda stumped, not sure whether to go to a female or male gynecologist. I really appreciate any feedback. I have an appt. to see a male


gynecologist for a second opinion regarding my fibroid problem and may need a hysterectomy sounded like from my problem with the fibroids and them causing me urination problems but I'm thinking I would rather see a female dr. but not sure still deciding which to go to.

I had went to my regular older female gyn dr. back in May and she suggested a hysterectomy (and she said laproscopic hysterectomy to me) since I had trouble with urinatiing since my fibroids have grown and are now pressing my bladder and bowels areas. Anyway we got new ins. on June 1st and she only takes the PPO plan of our new ins. and we decided to go with the HMO plan since it's cheaper and pays better for hospitalization and for co pays. So have to now switch to another dr. that is on the HMO plan.


I made the mistake of going to a younger female dr. the first week of June, she was inexperienced in surgeries I had found out after all only does abdominal ones and she's real young , the secretary misinformed me too when I had called to make a appt. , she had told me this dr. was experienced in laproscopic surgeries but then I go to the appt. and found out different that this young female dr. does not ,she only does abdominal hysterectomies. She said she's still in training in lap surgeries. She told me that she'd check with other drs. in the big practice there but I haven't heard back from her or her nurse yet, has been two weeks, she never said when she'd get back to me, just left me hanging. And I called the other week for her nurse to call me but still have not heard back. Also this young female dr. suggested I have a bladder test done but I couldn't get a appt. till July 21st for that , the secretary said the nurse that does the testing is out for three weeks and she was all booked up in June already. So I'm really disappointed this dr. office and dr. is not helpful at all really and making me wait so long. I wish I had never gone to her. I should have known better but I was not thinking clearly as I was upset too some as I had some trouble all that week of not being able to empty my bladder well a few days that week. Anyway I will for sure not be going back to her, this younger female dr..

So I made a appt. to see a older male dr. , but the soonest I can get in to see him is July 18th. The secretary when I called she checked with the nurse and said this dr. perfers laproscopic surgies and he's older in his 40's and has been a dr. for 22 years. There is a female dr. there too and she does laproscopic surgeries too the secretary said and has been a dr. for 18t years.

But I'm still tyring to make up my mind , whether to see this older male dr. or the female dr.. The secretary said I could think about it over the weekend and call her back on Monday or Tuesday if I change my mind and would rather see the female dr.. It's so hard to find a good dr and I'm still pondering what to do to see the male or gyn dr.. So my mind has been going back and forth all weekend, thinking which dr. to go to the female or male.

I've been to a few male drs. but has been years ago like ten or so years ago,I did have a male dr. deliver my son 14 years ago. But I'd ifeel more at ease with a female dr. ., been going to female drs. the last ten years but male drs. are good to but I still wonder since a female dr. would be more sympathic and more at ease to talk to. I know I sound really stressed out and well I am, thinking of drs. and going to them gets so stressful.

And I think when I go to this male or female dr. I will not mention the opinion of the younger dr. till I get their answer first, then I may mention later to this other dr. about what the younger female dr. said that she only thought abdominal hysterectomy and will tell him too that she's not experienced in laproscopic surgeries. But I am going to be taking my records from my other dr. who I had seen in May and whom I had seen for four years before, she had said she could do a laproscopic surgery, LSH on me and will show those records to my next dr..

Thanks for listening to me about my situation, sorry it is a long post, took long to explain.



Take care,

Noreen

Female gyno -- no doubt. But not the one that doesn't know anything about the surgery you want. I'm sure there are other qualified female doctors out there. I've been to male gynos, and they are too rough. They use the speculum like my vagina is a rain gutter full of dead leaves.

I'm adamant about female gynos because men -- no offense to them, as I'm sure they are well-trained -- can't relate to women's issues. They've never experienced menstrual cramps or the terror of a breast lump or childbirth or a bladder infection. They can be sympathetic, but they don't really "get" it. Female doctors have likely been through at least part of what their patients have so can truly relate.

And so you'll see that I'm fair both ways, I don't believe women doctors can really treat urological or ED problems in men. The doc may be able to identify an illness or condition by what she's studied, but she can't relate to the pain of a twisted testicle or the embarrassment of premature ejaculation. Only another male can understand.

I fully believe that both men and women are equally able to be doctors. My PCP is female, I have a female gastro, a male optometrist, a female dermatologist and a male podiatrist. But I'm more likely to trust a doctor who not only understands my problem, but maybe has already experienced it. So I'll only go to female gynos.

In my experience, a female doctor who has never experienced PMS, cramps or peri symptoms can sometimes be worse than a male doctor. Not in every case, of course, but I can honestly say that the worst treatment I've ever gotten was by a female doctor, and a recent experience with a female nurse practicioner was just as bad.

Having said that, I will also say that I used to have a female GYN who was terrific. Of course I didn't have many symptoms then, so I don't know how helpful she might have been if I wasn't feeling well, but she was certainly easy to talk with and sympathetic. Of course I moved half a country away from her several years ago.

Another vote for female Dr's here! I've had experiences with both but I feel much more comfortable with a woman. Much more gentle, more sympathetic, and good listeners. And they don't look at you like you're nuts if you burst into tears in the exam room!

Hi Ladies,

My male gyno retired this past year! He made arrangements for another male gyno to take his place, and I know he'd only pick someone good to treat his patients, but now that I'm in menopause time, I'm thinking about a woman gyno too! At least she'd have some idea of what we go thru!

I'd seen him since I was 13 and I'm 50 now. When he was younger, still delivering babies, he was in a group of 4 men! You got passed around to all of them! Then , when you had your baby , everyone knew your situation, and their schedule was; one stayed in the office to give exams, one did surgeries , one delivered babys , and one was either off , or also doing exams!

I laughed my head off, that your gyno webalina used that speculum like a shovel in a cutter getting out leaves! LOLOL! We had one of them like that, and two who were gentle and one who was the hunk of the office. I once had a D.O. who had me take my OWN PAP smear in the bathroom of his office without a speculum!!! Charged me $62.00 at the time!too! I was appalled!! I told them, I don't know if I'm getting my cervex or not! What about using a speculum? so the smear doesn't get wiped off before it's out of the vagina? His nurse just kinda mummbled something to me. His wife worked in the office. I figured that was the problem! I also had a blood vessel break in one of my breasts and went to them to see if that was something that I needed to worry about or if it was just the size of my breasts that would make them do that. I had been on my side in bed and I turned over and it broke! Hurt like the dickens! and made a lump of blood there in that place. My husband and I were not having sex at the time , but that doctors office acted like they were all laughing about me coming in about it! I was so angry! They acted like I had a crush on him and just wanted him to look at and touch my breast!!! I had nothing of that sort in my mind! I was hurting!!!! and I didn't know what would cause a vein or artery to break that easily!!! He told me he thought that it was just the size of my breasts (I'm big busted ) and I might need to sleep in one of those sleep bras. He also said my body would just absorb the blood, but it sure did hurt! It was hard to wear a bra! I quit going to him because of those two exams(?) if you could call them that. My own opinion is , he needed to get his wife outta the office, it was affecting his practise!

I'm now thinking of trying an older woman gyno to see if she'd know more about menopause or be peri herself! I want someone who UNDERSTANDS!!!!

My past gyno was a good doctor and I trusted him too, but now I think I'd like to have a woman.

JoniTX50

All my doctors are women, including my shrink. I don't feel comfortable exposing myself to men. Except for my dentist. But his female assistant does most of the work, anyway.

I would normally say a woman just because we expect that they would have more sympathy being a woman, however in my case I have found this to be not so true. I have been seeing women gyno's for most of my life and felt very comfy with that until meno. They a5re the one who kept telling me I was too young and yada,yada. I had to go out of network and ended up with a male gyno who actually tested me and told me I was in peri and offered something other than AD's. I couldn't see him because it costed a fortune to go there.

I recently went to a new female who spcifically stated she had a special interest in womens issues....I was very dissapointed as well as my husband. I waited so long and once in I was rushed out in 10 min. .... seriously.....I don't know I thik it is either if you can find one who actually gives a hoot. Now I know they are under the gun too from the higher ups(whatever they are called), but still.....

HUGS Mikki

For me...the jury is still out and here is why:

I nearly lost my life and the life of my first born in Ireland to an inept bonehead of an OB. (I hate him till this day) He was totally worthless, but...years later I found a wonderful OB/GYN (male) who not only delivered my children but went on to treat me for several abnormal PAP's and became a lovely family friend. He listened, was attentive and very patient. I miss him still to this day...

I went to a young woman doctor years later who truly "hurt" me during the exam and I ended up cursing at her and telling her she should take up Customer Service where she would really be of some use. Her bedside manner was shite and her attitude was worse than that.

I found another GYN who was a "man" and who truly cared for me and for my eldest daughter who just had a hysterectomy at 25 years of age due to cervical cancer. He was lovely with her. Sweet and caring and over the top where doctors are concerned. However, he lives 40 miles from me so I have just made an appt with a woman GYN. I've heard she's congenial, fun and it's very difficult not to like her. We'll see... In the meantime, I've had better experiences with "men" than with "women" GYN's. But I think I'm in a minority here.

I HAD A MALE GYNO FOR OVER TEN YEARS WHICH I REALLY LIKE. HES A LITTLE OLD SCHOOL BUT GOOD....SO I HAVE TO SAY MALE SINCE I NEVER HAD FEMALE GYNO WHICH I AM SURE IS GOOD AND MORE UNDERSTANDING.I WISH YOU LUCK YOUR HEART WILL TELL YOU WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE.

I don't really care either way. I had an excellent male dr., but he left his gyn/ob practice to become a general practitioner. While he was good, he sort of lost that wonderful way of communicating and understanding the change. I'm glad he helped me through the worst of peri-menopause when I was so damn confused. For the past 5 years I've been going to a female dr. who is about my age. She's pretty good and was the one who informed me that my cervix closed up shop and that I'm in the final lap of the change and what to watch for.

Sometimes I think it comes down to experience and personality more than gender. When I was young I saw male doctors. Even my pediatrician was a male.(which I hated). As I got older I sought out female doctors or even nurse practitioners because I felt they would understand more completely how I was feeling, etc. My ob was a lovely woman, but we moved away. Recently I had to switch from a female np, to a male gyn to a female gyn and then out of that practice totally and on to a male gyn at a new place. The np was fine, but I have 10+ small fibroids giving me problems and I knew I would need a doctor eventually. The first male gyn was an insensitive, arrogant jerk. He did my endo biopsy(for excessive bleeding) and actually said to me, 'I dont know why you are here, your case isnt that bad. I dont mean to scare you but I have patients with fibroids the size of melons." You put 10 tumors in the uterus of a 115lb woman and see what happens. jerk. Then I switched to a young female gyn in the same office. She was highly recommended by my pc. I had just stopped taking Loestrin24 for treatment of bleeding(total failure. non stop bleeding and terrible depression). She refused to admit that the pill was causing my emotional problems and told me I should be in long term therapy.(!) She put me on Seasonique, never discussed my actual diagnosis with me and even tho I was so upset during our consult, never called to follow up. After 30 days of bleeding on the seasonique I asked for a record release. My new male gyn is very gentle, personable and throrough. He immediatley ordered new tests and did an exam,(the female doctor would not examine me because I was bleeding, even though it had been more than 6 months since the first diagnosis) He has given me solid advice, was pleased that I had done my own reading and research and is working with me on the next step. So I couldnt say one way or the other. I just hope everyone who needs a GOOD doctor finds one, and not a quack. It could mean your life!!

I usually don't see a gyn, just a family doctor. This doctor is a female, though previously I had a male doctor. But the gyn I had for my hysterectomy was a male...he was awesome!
I agree with Ally..it does not so much depends on gender, but experience and personality. Even those with not alot of experience can be of benefit. Its a tough call. I have been fortunate in having good doctors.

Good luck

Anna

yes, i too think it's down to experience and personality more than gender, i've had two male doctors i not only liked, but trusted.. and one female. which is pretty sad considering all the doctors i have seen in my 55 years.. lol! but i'll still ask for a female doctor, only take a male if i have to at the time.. i am almost due for a pap test again, sigh... means looking for another doctor.. none stay long around here it seems, and i have little need for a doc most times, so by the time i need to go again, they have all changed.. sigh.

Hmm...you all have given me something to think about. Sounds like lots of good male docs out there. I still don't know though...I'm pretty shy. Don't know if I'd be comfortable with a man poking around on me.

Some of you need to make calls to the AMA and turn in these jerks you've had problems with. Some of this behavior is just inept or insensitive, and some of it is unprofessional and downright offensive. Doctors like these need to be called into account for their behavior so other patients can be protected.

On the lighter side...I could NEVER go to a good-looking male gyno. My mind would be wandering too much. In high school all my friends went to the same guy because he was supposedly hot. Not me -- my gyno was an older unattractive fatherly type. My dentist is a hottie though. I've considered eating Oreos before cleanings so they will take longer.

I do prefer female gynecologists, but as others have said I don't think the younger ones are any better at dealing with peri- and meno- problems than male doctors.

The primary thing for me has been to find a doctor who no longer delivers babies. Numerous times I have been left sitting in an exam room because the doc had to go deliver a baby or check on a patient in labor. Personally, I have found males to be gentler but often patronizing too. I have heard the same line several times "my wife had a hysterectomy and is so happy now" that it makes me wonder. One woman I went to did an endo biopsy with such force that I bled as if I had been seriously injured. Bottom line would be an older female...if I could only fine one I liked.

orngkat06, excellent point ! I think that was one of the problems with my prior gynecologist, she was was also an obstetrician and had pregnant patients, that might explain why I was always forced to wait so long. Well that and the fact that she quadruple-booked her 15 minute time slots and then had a sign in system so that even if I showed up for my appointment 20 minutes in advance, if someone with an appointment AFTER mine signed up before me, that person was let in before me ! That policy favored the women who didn't work. I work, I cannot be away from the office for 2 hours only to get 5 hurried minutes with the doctor.

But I digress.

I might have to go outside of my health plan and find a doctor who specializes in menopause. An older female, as you suggest orngkat, someone who understands what it's like to be an older female.

I cannot imagine being "happy" after having a hysterectomy. Perhaps relieved, relieved of pain or excessive bleeding or cancer or other serious problems, but certainly not happy. What callous fools some of these doctors are.

I prefer a female for obvious reasons and also for the fact they seem to be more understanding especially when it comes to hormone situations.

Hi,

Thank you all for our responses. Sorry I got back late here answering, I meant to sooner but had a a very busy/hectic summer.

I appreciate all your posts. I too think females are really better to go to, an older female. But this male dr. I seen in July and seen him again
last Thursday, I think I like him pretty much. He took his time with me, didn't rush at all with me and answered all my questions. The first time I seen him I was really nervous but this time I felt more at ease with him and he made me feel at ease, he joked off and on too and even told me I wasn't old, he said, come on you're still young!" so he made me feel good that's a plus. He seems to be a good dr. though, knowlegdable, I had to question a few things after my first visit with him though but then this visit last week I got my few questions I had really wondered about from the first visit, so got those answered, found out. I had just been not sure of a few things when he had answered me at the visit in July so why too I needed to go see him again plus with having upcoming surgery I wanted to vsit him again since he's a new dr. to me.

I was really surprised though for a male dr. he was sympathetic and caring to my situation and didn't rush me at all, and even a gentleman, he took the time last Thursday and showed me where the surgery scheduler secretary's office was. Now alot of drs. wouldn't take the time to do that with their busy schedules but this dr. did. Cause I could have just asked myself at the front desk for the other secretary but my dr. showed me and walked me there, took the time, now that is pretty nice, helpful of him I thought.

Also on the wall in the small exam room, he had a poster up about premenopause and menopause and I read it all, was the symptoms I've had and other's I"ve read about it, so good info there in his office. Also when I told him maybe I was reading too much info, and on the internet he said, no he thought that was good I was reading, keeping myself updated and informed. So that was a great plus for me to hear him say that. I go back to see him again in October.

Noreen

It sounds like you found a really good one, Noreen.

I don't think it matters whether they are male or female; what matters is if they believe in their patients, listen to their patients, take the time to stay up to date with the latest research and technology, keep an open mind, and treat the whole person, not just the symptom or the diagnosis. I've had good and bad care from both sexes so I would never generalize on the basis of that.

However, it SURE is nice to be seeing a woman GYN right now who's been through menopause and specializes in it, and thus has a clue what I'm talking about! (even though my woman internist of the same age has NO clue at all, LOL).

I have ALWAYS went to female Gyns. It turns out that mine however made a huge mistake and lost my pathology report containing an abnormal pap result for eight months, which as you know has now lead to me having a hysterectomy. She rushed me through a colposcopy and a Leep procedure without explaining anything to me, her bed side manner turned atrocious after she had made this HUGE mistake, she also lied to me when she found out I was going to get a second opinion. She told me the Dr I was seeing does not do vaginal hysterectomies and that she could get me in the following week for surgery.

My surgeon is a male Obgyn/Oncologist and I have to say........I like him a lot. He is sarcastic/witty took the time to sit with my husband and I to answer all of our questions, his staff is wonderfully perfect. This is the best experience I have ever had with a GYN. I wish he didn't resemble Christopher Lowell though !

After I spoke to him a week after the procedures I had by my regular GYN he looks at me with this unbelievable look and proceeds to tell me that most Doctors would never ever perform any more surgery on the cervix until it had at least one month of healing done...so she would have sliced and diced with my cervix still a muss. Shocking experience to say the least from a well known and recommended FEMALE gyno. Never again will I go to a female after this experience.

I am glad that you have found someone you like and feel you can trust!

Bethanie

Dear Ladies
I too am seeing a Male Gyno.and his manner is really very calming.He is kind,sympathetic and told me that seeing what his wife has been going through in Menopause has decided to research the subject much more thoroughly.His examination was very gentle and thorough using latest Technology..
he also asked if I was taking anything for Anxiety and Depression as he wanted to change my HRT prescription and didn't want any bad reactions.

He asked for a battery of Tests including Thyroid and Hormonal levels.And he told me to come back and call anytime I had a question.This is a good experience and I will continue seeing him.There are some good men out there!

Hope you all have positive experiences.Am coming to the conclusion it is not just about the sex of the Doctor but does he or she really care!

All the very best
Elizabeth

Greetings,
Male vs. Female Dr's? It all depends. Long story short, I needed a LEEP and it was performed by a male OB/GYN. Excellent surgeon, good follow up. However, nagging questions remained about whether or not I was perimenopausal. Ultimately, he would not test my hormone levels to see where I was in the menopause food chain. Switched to a female Dr. who listened and knew what I was going through, she tested me twice (confirmed that my levels indicated that I was about a year or two away from menopause), and she put me on low estrogen birth control that has alleviated my symptoms greatly. Gender plays a role but ultimately it's up to the individual and how they handle they patient. I love my new Dr. and wouldn't trade her for anything--she saved me!

Hi Noreen

Just my two cents worth of info. I worked in a doctor's office for many years, ob/gyn, so i know from experience that cases like yours, while not common, experience is still the best option.

Experience in such matters would make me feel at ease rather than with someone who hasn't maybe experienced it all.

Also, if you meditate ask for guidance to help you get through this safely. Good luck.

Hi Noreen,

Sorry, I just read you picked a doctor. I hope it has all worked out and that your surgery/recovery will be soon so that you can tell us how it went.

Good Luck
Rose

Hi everyone,

Sorry I answering so late here. I did read your posts awhile back. I'm so behind on answering as been so busy, we moved and I had surgery back in Oct.. Anyway I have had a full plate but wanted to reply here to you all. Thanks for all your replies. I'm glad you found good drs. menapaws, (cute name by the way ,dav, and Elizabeth.

I found a good Dr. the one I seen in Sept. , that I had posted about on here , he did my surgery. I recovered well. I was glad I had a good surgeon/dr..

I'd still feel more comfortable with a woman dr. but this male dr. was fine, I was nervous some still but he joked alot so helped me relax some. But I'm glad I did have him as my gyn dr. or still do, he did have alot of years of experience why I decided on going to him like you said Rose I agree that experience is the best option. Yes I felt at ease , safer since he had all the experience and I was going to have surgery so wanted a much experienced dr.. He has been a Dr. for 22 years.

Thanks for the good luck wishes you had sent me too Rose.

Noreen

That's okay Rose. Yes it all worked out fine, I had my surgery in Oct.. My recovery was about four weeks took to feel better, most of the soreness was gone by then. But at six weeks I was really feeling much better the soreness had eased up alot more and I was back to normal feeing pretty much.

I meant to post sooner ,sorry I behind on getting back to you. I've had a very full plate the last five mths. so haven't been on here hardly and got behind on some posts.

Thanks again for your kind words to me I so appreciated your posts here to me,was nice of you.

Noreen

Dear Noreen

So very pleased your surgery went well and you are making a good recovery.
All the best for the future
Don't be a stranger to the boards.
Good News is always welcome

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

I'm struggling to find a good gyno. I had gone to one years ago that was male. He was easy to talk to and gentle. But every visit meant sitting in the waiting room for 2 hours, even after I called in and they said to come in later than scheduled since he was running behind. He was always running behind. One time I was in the exam room (freezing in the little paper gown) for about and hour and half before someone remembered I was there. I quit going to him because he moved his office farther away and I wanted to go to a woman naturopath ob/gyn. I feel weird about going back to him.

Turns out the woman NP just doesn't care much about her patients unless they are pregnant. I thought she would be great. She's about my age. I had gone to a class about menopause she presented and really liked her then. But not as a doctor.

I just started going to a different male gyno and I don't like him. He's rough and more interested in lecturing me about the evils of herbal medicine than being respectful. He did the pap and pelvic exam. The pap wasn't rough, but the other stuff was. On the other hand, he's cautious and wouldn't do the endometrial biopsy that I was scheduled for because I haven't got the results back from the cardiologist about all the tests he did. The gyno was concerned I might have mitral valve prolapse and would require antibiotics before the biopsy. After reading about that stuff, I was glad the gyno was cautious about it, but it seems like he's more concerned about being sued than my health. I don't want to go back to him.

I think I'll try a gyno (male) that my NAET practitioner recommended. I really like her and respect her opinion. Or perhaps go back to the guy I went to before. He has reopened an office closer to my home again. By the way, NAET (Nambuprad's Allergy Elimination Technique) has done wonders for getting rid of my headaches and the techniques used are non-invasive and gentle, and have worked way more than anything any doctor has done.

I have had good and bad gynos of both sexes. It does not always follow that because a gyno is an older woman that she will be sympathetic..actually I found the opposite in the two females gyns I saw during perimenopause. One of them actually told me.."I am older than you and I didn't have to resort to hormones".. and made me feel my symptoms were all in my imagination. The other one visibly was uncomfortable when I tried to bring up some sensitive sexual information. I now see a male gyn, actually his specialty is gyn/urology, but I don't have urological problems. He is young. open to new things and to learning. When I came to him with severe meno symptoms, the first thing he said is "you are suffering, and I think you need hormones to get through this time", although he admits that he doesn't prescribe them to all women. He is gentle, and also seems comfortable with detailed questions and information about sex..he actually thinks us older women should enjoy it! So for now, my vote is for the male, but it really just depends on the doc, not the gender...Kim

Kim,
I'm glad you found a good doctor. Keep him!

I made an appointment with the doc that was recommended to me but can't get in until the end of April. I think he'll be worth it. The receptionist said he's the one in the office that's best for menopause issues.

I canceled with the other doc and his nurse called me to find out why. I told her I don't like him and don't want to go back. She was concerned I wasn't going to get the test the doc thinks I need. I told her I made an appointment with another doctor. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first patient to decide not to go back. She also told me my pap smear was normal, so that was good to hear.