I'd be most grateful for any guidance.Kind thoughts
Full Version: I just don't know!
I recently turned 41 and from what I know if my mother and older sister this seems to be about the sort of time menopause begins in the family, other than that I just don't know whats happening! I've had a mirena coil since my daughter was born 12 years ago, so don't have periods. I've read the 34 signs and I seem to have rather a lot of them - but life is very stressful just now - it's been a build up of several years of hassle - so the symptoms could simply be as a result of stress. I've had a smear test recently as well as having my coil renewed, but when I asked the doc about menopause she simply told me that I probably wouldn't really notice as I had the coil! I'd be most grateful for any guidance.
Kind thoughts
I'd be most grateful for any guidance.Kind thoughts
I don't know anyting about the coil, but I do know that my sister who is on Birth Control pills continuous and is 51 now STILL experienced symptoms of menopause over the many years. As for me I am 49 recently and I probably had signs of perimenopause starting about 38.
This might be more information than you aske for but: At 41 I had thryoid problems and the symptoms are VERY similar to perimenopause so it is ALWAYS good to get the thryoid checked with your yearly GYN...many GYN now do it as matter of course...which is good...the blood work should include FT4, FT3 and TSH. Some doctors just say TSH, but you really NEED all to get the clear picture of the thryoid. Some also test for the antibodies for Graves (which I had) and Hashimotos both autoimmune disease of the thyroid. Thyroid problems are very common among women...and women of our age...and also tend to run in families...but not always. Joan
This might be more information than you aske for but: At 41 I had thryoid problems and the symptoms are VERY similar to perimenopause so it is ALWAYS good to get the thryoid checked with your yearly GYN...many GYN now do it as matter of course...which is good...the blood work should include FT4, FT3 and TSH. Some doctors just say TSH, but you really NEED all to get the clear picture of the thryoid. Some also test for the antibodies for Graves (which I had) and Hashimotos both autoimmune disease of the thyroid. Thyroid problems are very common among women...and women of our age...and also tend to run in families...but not always. Joan
QUOTE (slowbear @ Jun 1 2008, 07:26 AM) 
I don't know anyting about the coil, but I do know that my sister who is on Birth Control pills continuous and is 51 now STILL experienced symptoms of menopause over the many years. As for me I am 49 recently and I probably had signs of perimenopause starting about 38.
This might be more information than you aske for but: At 41 I had thryoid problems and the symptoms are VERY similar to perimenopause so it is ALWAYS good to get the thryoid checked with your yearly GYN...many GYN now do it as matter of course...which is good...the blood work should include FT4, FT3 and TSH. Some doctors just say TSH, but you really NEED all to get the clear picture of the thryoid. Some also test for the antibodies for Graves (which I had) and Hashimotos both autoimmune disease of the thyroid. Thyroid problems are very common among women...and women of our age...and also tend to run in families...but not always. Joan
This might be more information than you aske for but: At 41 I had thryoid problems and the symptoms are VERY similar to perimenopause so it is ALWAYS good to get the thryoid checked with your yearly GYN...many GYN now do it as matter of course...which is good...the blood work should include FT4, FT3 and TSH. Some doctors just say TSH, but you really NEED all to get the clear picture of the thryoid. Some also test for the antibodies for Graves (which I had) and Hashimotos both autoimmune disease of the thyroid. Thyroid problems are very common among women...and women of our age...and also tend to run in families...but not always. Joan
Thanks for that slowbear. MY OH has been saying that I should probably have my thyroid checked, so I guess I'll be making an appointment with the doc!
I agree with Slowbear, as she said, most doctors will simply do a TSH test and that isn't good enough, the T free's should be checked as well. I know this won't make sense BUT, the fact is, most labs use different normal ranges...or different sets of numbers. If they only check the TSH and use a wide group of numbers, (particularly for the TSH) it may come back as 'normal' even tho you have symptoms of thyroid. By using the T-free's, it gives doctors a better scope, and if something is out of whack and you're having symptoms, it's much easier to decide whether treatment is needed.
Believe me, we all know how confusing peri/meno is, so we're here to help...ok? And by the way...welcome to power surge!
Tay
Believe me, we all know how confusing peri/meno is, so we're here to help...ok? And by the way...welcome to power surge!
Tay
Thanks Tay! The thing is, it seems to me that where you are (I'm assuming thats America!) they docs seem to be way further ahead on things than they are here in England!
Well the good news is, there's LOTS of girls on here from the UK. XIII was a nurse and she's ever so helpful to the ladies here. There's also many others who can offer advice too since thyroid problems are so common. But, I do believe the UK does have the same kind of testing we do here in the states since thyroid problems have been around for years. However, like I said, here in the states, there are no 'set standards', no universal numbers every lab has to use. One can use one set, another another and it's however/whatever that lab uses, is how the results are made. Many times women have thyroid symptoms and can still be within the said (quote unquote) normal range, but does that make us feel any better? No...but I'm certain any doctor knows about the TFree blood tests, you just have to insist on them as opposed to just the TSH. If you have any doubt, call up your clinic/doctors office and ask if they perform the thyroid tests for the Tfree's.
For some reason (and Lord only knows why), doctors just don't think about thyroid tests OR they only look for the obvious sign, like a swollen throat. The fact that's we're in peri and or menopause, is a big hinderance because that's what they go on. You're fine, you're only anxious during this time in your life. They're quick to hand out scripts for anti-depressants or anxiety drugs, but forget something basic like thryoid tests. I'll be the first to testify that thyroids can make you feel lousy! And as Slowbear said, it's almost impossible to decipher meno from thyroid since they mimic each other.
You hang in there girl, as I said, you have a whole assortment of women here. Some are post, some are new like you, some are in between, but chances are, whatever you're feeling, someone or many girls will have had/felt whatever you're feeling too...
So, you've come to a good place!!
Oh...PS...Slowbear would have welcomed you too, but she's VERY OLD
(oohhhh...she's gonna get me for that!) LOL!
Tay
I hope that helps...
Hugs
Tay
For some reason (and Lord only knows why), doctors just don't think about thyroid tests OR they only look for the obvious sign, like a swollen throat. The fact that's we're in peri and or menopause, is a big hinderance because that's what they go on. You're fine, you're only anxious during this time in your life. They're quick to hand out scripts for anti-depressants or anxiety drugs, but forget something basic like thryoid tests. I'll be the first to testify that thyroids can make you feel lousy! And as Slowbear said, it's almost impossible to decipher meno from thyroid since they mimic each other.
You hang in there girl, as I said, you have a whole assortment of women here. Some are post, some are new like you, some are in between, but chances are, whatever you're feeling, someone or many girls will have had/felt whatever you're feeling too...
So, you've come to a good place!!
Oh...PS...Slowbear would have welcomed you too, but she's VERY OLD
(oohhhh...she's gonna get me for that!) LOL! Tay
I hope that helps...
Hugs
Tay
Thank you again Tay! Finding this site today has been are real tonic! I think part of the problem is I just don't really have much faith in the docs. Do you mind if it tell why? Stop reading now if you don't want to know! lol
A year before I finally left my x husb in 2001 I was diagnosed with depression (thanks to my circmstances) they gave me medication - I reacted badly. A year later I went thru a horrendous divorce and became depressed again - they tried the only 2 other types of meds they had available and I reacted badly to both - so they took me off them and told me that was all they could do. I went for counselling and was told that I was a very together woman and was taking all the right steps, given a book and pretty much told to go away! A year later my children were indecently assaulted - I spent a month in bed, functioning only for the children - the docs were as much use as toothpaste to a hen! Finally, 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams but within 6 months he fell ill. One day he was fit and healthy and we worked on the same building site, the next he couldn't walk. 6 months later he was diagnosed with inflamatory rheumatoid arthritis - at 38. Life as we knew it was over. He was given medication to control his condition - it damaged his liver twice an he was taken off it. The next medication gave him such severe vertigo that he couldn't get out of bed. 2 1/2 years down the line he is still in a great deal of pain, he can't work - he can't even hold a pen let alone his tools, his disease is poorly controlled and his body is becoming twisted and deformed. The last time he went to see his specialist he was told that they were 6 months late in all their appointments because we live in an area with a much more elderly population - so he just has to wait. This is a man who with help could have had another 25 years of working life ahead of him, who could have many more years of being in a happy fulfilled "normal" realtionship with a loving family and is instead stuck in a suit of "Arthur" - in pain, his body deforming, and life passing him by. Then to add to his troubles I turn into a psycho nutter b**ch from h*ll who is either crying, clinging, flinging things or cleaning the bathroom!
Sorry - didn't mean to rant - it's just I feel a bit like a pressure cooker at the moment.
A year before I finally left my x husb in 2001 I was diagnosed with depression (thanks to my circmstances) they gave me medication - I reacted badly. A year later I went thru a horrendous divorce and became depressed again - they tried the only 2 other types of meds they had available and I reacted badly to both - so they took me off them and told me that was all they could do. I went for counselling and was told that I was a very together woman and was taking all the right steps, given a book and pretty much told to go away! A year later my children were indecently assaulted - I spent a month in bed, functioning only for the children - the docs were as much use as toothpaste to a hen! Finally, 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams but within 6 months he fell ill. One day he was fit and healthy and we worked on the same building site, the next he couldn't walk. 6 months later he was diagnosed with inflamatory rheumatoid arthritis - at 38. Life as we knew it was over. He was given medication to control his condition - it damaged his liver twice an he was taken off it. The next medication gave him such severe vertigo that he couldn't get out of bed. 2 1/2 years down the line he is still in a great deal of pain, he can't work - he can't even hold a pen let alone his tools, his disease is poorly controlled and his body is becoming twisted and deformed. The last time he went to see his specialist he was told that they were 6 months late in all their appointments because we live in an area with a much more elderly population - so he just has to wait. This is a man who with help could have had another 25 years of working life ahead of him, who could have many more years of being in a happy fulfilled "normal" realtionship with a loving family and is instead stuck in a suit of "Arthur" - in pain, his body deforming, and life passing him by. Then to add to his troubles I turn into a psycho nutter b**ch from h*ll who is either crying, clinging, flinging things or cleaning the bathroom!
Sorry - didn't mean to rant - it's just I feel a bit like a pressure cooker at the moment.
Hey Girl...
Don't you feel the least bit bad about ranting/venting...that's what a part of this site is all about. A way to release all of the pent up anger, fear, frustrations... Like you in the UK, we here are also disgusted by most medical personal. Doctors don't have a clue, especially during this time in our lives. They have no idea what meno is like, since most are male. All they see is hysterical women, so they medicate to keep us quiet. Now, there's nothing wrong with getting a script that makes you feel less anxious or less depressed, BUT that seems to be their answer to everything. Sometimes, we just want answers...WHY do we feel this way? WHY am I feeling so lousy, yet the tests show nothing wrong? They just simply shrug because they can't relate.
Do you know, we ALL live in an antiquated world of medicine. Doctors here are still using the outdated chart for meno which CLEARLY states...one enters menopause around 50. So...if you ain't around that age it's stress, general anxiety disorder...you name it. Course, not once do they take into consideration how early girls are maturing nowadays. Does any doctor ANYWHERE really truly think a girl who starts her periods at say...age 9 or 10, is going to wait until the per-said 50 mark to go through meno? No, but that's what they cling to.
So yes, many of us here in the states share the same anger as you. But, be patient, as I said, there are many girls on here from the UK and I'm certain they'll offer you some advice on how to proceed. My heart does hurt for you where your man is concerned. That alone is enough to cause pain for you, that and what happened to your children.
I do want you to know, we ARE here for you girl. And you're never going to be alone again. Come here and vent, rage...cry, or simply ask for a shoulder to lean on and you'll have more girls than you dreamed possible coming to your aide. We've been there, we know, and only those who've walked in our shoes understand how frightening and frustrating it all is. So...take heart, you're safe and you aren't alone...ok??
BIG HUGS!!
Tay
Don't you feel the least bit bad about ranting/venting...that's what a part of this site is all about. A way to release all of the pent up anger, fear, frustrations... Like you in the UK, we here are also disgusted by most medical personal. Doctors don't have a clue, especially during this time in our lives. They have no idea what meno is like, since most are male. All they see is hysterical women, so they medicate to keep us quiet. Now, there's nothing wrong with getting a script that makes you feel less anxious or less depressed, BUT that seems to be their answer to everything. Sometimes, we just want answers...WHY do we feel this way? WHY am I feeling so lousy, yet the tests show nothing wrong? They just simply shrug because they can't relate.
Do you know, we ALL live in an antiquated world of medicine. Doctors here are still using the outdated chart for meno which CLEARLY states...one enters menopause around 50. So...if you ain't around that age it's stress, general anxiety disorder...you name it. Course, not once do they take into consideration how early girls are maturing nowadays. Does any doctor ANYWHERE really truly think a girl who starts her periods at say...age 9 or 10, is going to wait until the per-said 50 mark to go through meno? No, but that's what they cling to.
So yes, many of us here in the states share the same anger as you. But, be patient, as I said, there are many girls on here from the UK and I'm certain they'll offer you some advice on how to proceed. My heart does hurt for you where your man is concerned. That alone is enough to cause pain for you, that and what happened to your children.
I do want you to know, we ARE here for you girl. And you're never going to be alone again. Come here and vent, rage...cry, or simply ask for a shoulder to lean on and you'll have more girls than you dreamed possible coming to your aide. We've been there, we know, and only those who've walked in our shoes understand how frightening and frustrating it all is. So...take heart, you're safe and you aren't alone...ok??
BIG HUGS!!
Tay
I don't know anything about the coil either. But I do know it will be hard for you to tell since you won't know when your periods are becoming irregular.
Bobbi
Bobbi
QUOTE (mrs milim @ Jun 1 2008, 11:40 AM)
Thank you again Tay! Finding this site today has been are real tonic! I think part of the problem is I just don't really have much faith in the docs. Do you mind if it tell why? Stop reading now if you don't want to know! lol
A year before I finally left my x husb in 2001 I was diagnosed with depression (thanks to my circmstances) they gave me medication - I reacted badly. A year later I went thru a horrendous divorce and became depressed again - they tried the only 2 other types of meds they had available and I reacted badly to both - so they took me off them and told me that was all they could do. I went for counselling and was told that I was a very together woman and was taking all the right steps, given a book and pretty much told to go away! A year later my children were indecently assaulted - I spent a month in bed, functioning only for the children - the docs were as much use as toothpaste to a hen! Finally, 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams but within 6 months he fell ill. One day he was fit and healthy and we worked on the same building site, the next he couldn't walk. 6 months later he was diagnosed with inflamatory rheumatoid arthritis - at 38. Life as we knew it was over. He was given medication to control his condition - it damaged his liver twice an he was taken off it. The next medication gave him such severe vertigo that he couldn't get out of bed. 2 1/2 years down the line he is still in a great deal of pain, he can't work - he can't even hold a pen let alone his tools, his disease is poorly controlled and his body is becoming twisted and deformed. The last time he went to see his specialist he was told that they were 6 months late in all their appointments because we live in an area with a much more elderly population - so he just has to wait. This is a man who with help could have had another 25 years of working life ahead of him, who could have many more years of being in a happy fulfilled "normal" realtionship with a loving family and is instead stuck in a suit of "Arthur" - in pain, his body deforming, and life passing him by. Then to add to his troubles I turn into a psycho nutter b**ch from h*ll who is either crying, clinging, flinging things or cleaning the bathroom!
Sorry - didn't mean to rant - it's just I feel a bit like a pressure cooker at the moment.
A year before I finally left my x husb in 2001 I was diagnosed with depression (thanks to my circmstances) they gave me medication - I reacted badly. A year later I went thru a horrendous divorce and became depressed again - they tried the only 2 other types of meds they had available and I reacted badly to both - so they took me off them and told me that was all they could do. I went for counselling and was told that I was a very together woman and was taking all the right steps, given a book and pretty much told to go away! A year later my children were indecently assaulted - I spent a month in bed, functioning only for the children - the docs were as much use as toothpaste to a hen! Finally, 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams but within 6 months he fell ill. One day he was fit and healthy and we worked on the same building site, the next he couldn't walk. 6 months later he was diagnosed with inflamatory rheumatoid arthritis - at 38. Life as we knew it was over. He was given medication to control his condition - it damaged his liver twice an he was taken off it. The next medication gave him such severe vertigo that he couldn't get out of bed. 2 1/2 years down the line he is still in a great deal of pain, he can't work - he can't even hold a pen let alone his tools, his disease is poorly controlled and his body is becoming twisted and deformed. The last time he went to see his specialist he was told that they were 6 months late in all their appointments because we live in an area with a much more elderly population - so he just has to wait. This is a man who with help could have had another 25 years of working life ahead of him, who could have many more years of being in a happy fulfilled "normal" realtionship with a loving family and is instead stuck in a suit of "Arthur" - in pain, his body deforming, and life passing him by. Then to add to his troubles I turn into a psycho nutter b**ch from h*ll who is either crying, clinging, flinging things or cleaning the bathroom!
Sorry - didn't mean to rant - it's just I feel a bit like a pressure cooker at the moment.
My goodness, you poor thing. If I were in your shoes, I would be a raving lunatic. You are doing well just to stay sane.
The ladies on this site have heard me rant many times about the failings of the NHS and your experience is a perfect example of the sorry state of our health service here in the UK. Rheumatoid Arthritis is a dreadful disease but these days with expert care, the prognosis should be good. Patients with difficult conditions just get dumped on the scrapheap these days and it makes my blood boil in my veins. I have a friend who was diagnosed over 30 years ago and they fought tirelessly to get her condition under control. The drug regime was so toxic that she was told that she had no chance of having children. It was a terrible battle but they got the condition under control and she has since managed to have 3 beautiful children. She is now in her mid fifties, still works, drives and is very mobile. She has a lot of pain but no deformity. Your partner needs help now, not in six months time. Would it be possible to be referred out of area? Could you possibly afford a couple of private appointments? In today's health service, if you don't ask you certainly don't get!!!!
Feel free to scream as loud as you like here. You will always find a loving heart here to share your suffering and pain. This time of life is difficult enough, without this awful burden that your family has been asked to carry.
I hope this site will help you to understand why you feel so out of control. Once you gain an understanding of how your hormones are playing you, I think that you will feel more stable. Your partner must be going through hell and he will need you to stay strong while he gets this monster under control.
Kind regards,
XIII
Hi mrs milim,
I had a Mirena IUD inserted (for contraception) two years ago when I was 45. I had problems with it from the start--cramping, bleeding, and worst of all, a low-level anxiety like constant PMS. I really think the Mirena pushed me very quickly into menopause. After four months I had it removed; I then had three weeks of heavy bleeding, a D&C, and more severe menopausal symptoms. I certainly don't agree with your doctor that you wouldn't know you were entering menopause just because you don't have periods with the Mirena! What about hot flashes and anxiety and all of the other symptoms? I suppose you hate to have it removed when you just had a new one inserted, but maybe you should consider it. Are you having any hot flashes or night sweats--signs of low estrogen? If so, you could ask your doctor to test your FSH--it's a start and, at least here in the U.S., it is not a very expensive test. If your FSH is high and you want to keep your Mirena, maybe you could ask your doctor about trying some low dose estrogen with it to see if your symptoms improve. I'm sorry about all the stressful situations you've endured. I think stress can cause early menopause (and of course early menopause can cause stress), so it's important that you figure out what is going on rather than just treating your symptoms with anti-depressants. Good luck and come back anytime for more support or just to rant and rave--we all do!
I had a Mirena IUD inserted (for contraception) two years ago when I was 45. I had problems with it from the start--cramping, bleeding, and worst of all, a low-level anxiety like constant PMS. I really think the Mirena pushed me very quickly into menopause. After four months I had it removed; I then had three weeks of heavy bleeding, a D&C, and more severe menopausal symptoms. I certainly don't agree with your doctor that you wouldn't know you were entering menopause just because you don't have periods with the Mirena! What about hot flashes and anxiety and all of the other symptoms? I suppose you hate to have it removed when you just had a new one inserted, but maybe you should consider it. Are you having any hot flashes or night sweats--signs of low estrogen? If so, you could ask your doctor to test your FSH--it's a start and, at least here in the U.S., it is not a very expensive test. If your FSH is high and you want to keep your Mirena, maybe you could ask your doctor about trying some low dose estrogen with it to see if your symptoms improve. I'm sorry about all the stressful situations you've endured. I think stress can cause early menopause (and of course early menopause can cause stress), so it's important that you figure out what is going on rather than just treating your symptoms with anti-depressants. Good luck and come back anytime for more support or just to rant and rave--we all do!
Thank you all for your kindness and good advice - and most of all for letting me let off a bit of steam! I took the plunge yesterday and went to the docs. I described what was happening and I go for blood tests on Thurs to check my thyroid and other hormone levels - she ticked the meno box! She asked me about night sweats and although I don't seem to wake up sweating my partner did tell her that you could fry eggs on me in the night! She also asked about hot flushes and told me that the prickly feeling like I'm blushing that rises from my neck and leaves my face red is a hot flush! I'm slightly embarrassed at my total ignorance of the whole situation! I know the biology but not what really happens! (Lol I just looked for a blushing emoticon but realied that it would look more like a hot flush!) Anyway a sudden calm seems to have befallen my hormones for today - so I guess that means the house might be subject to psychotic cleaning but at least I won't feel like setting fire to it! Now I'm going to give my lovely and supportive OH a gentle cuddle and thank him for his kindness too!
Well I know now! The doc gave me the results of the blood tests and it seems that my hormones are fine - I'm suffering from a reactive depression 
So I feel a bit of a fraud coming here - sorry. But I do appreciate all your help and advice and I certainly know where to come when meno does hit. Now I'm going to dose my self with St Johns Wort, eveing primrose and vitamins, wash my face and try to face the day! Wish me luck! 
So I feel a bit of a fraud coming here - sorry. But I do appreciate all your help and advice and I certainly know where to come when meno does hit. Now I'm going to dose my self with St Johns Wort, eveing primrose and vitamins, wash my face and try to face the day! Wish me luck!
Dear Mrs M,
I am so glad you don't need to add the big M to your list of problems for the time being. It sounds like you need some pampering, I looked after a sick husband for a number of years - it can be very stressful and wareing but, you do have to keep strong and look after yourself a little, for everybody's sake. I found massage and acupuncture beneficial during those difficult times. I still do!
As an aside, I have a friend who is also a young RA sufferer - after years of trying lots of things she has found Aloe Vera to be of some help and there has even been a reduction in whatever it is they messure during blood tests (sorry for being vague!)
Might be worth a shot.
I wish you well.
I am so glad you don't need to add the big M to your list of problems for the time being. It sounds like you need some pampering, I looked after a sick husband for a number of years - it can be very stressful and wareing but, you do have to keep strong and look after yourself a little, for everybody's sake. I found massage and acupuncture beneficial during those difficult times. I still do!
As an aside, I have a friend who is also a young RA sufferer - after years of trying lots of things she has found Aloe Vera to be of some help and there has even been a reduction in whatever it is they messure during blood tests (sorry for being vague!)
Might be worth a shot.
I wish you well.
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