Ok, since I've hit 46 I've been experiencing some peri symptoms. But the one that seems to be the most pronounced is my inability/lack of patience with anyone who remotely appears to be a moron (okay, most people I run into - ). I have so little patience with lack of manners, rudeness, entitlement (the rules apply to everyone else, not me attitude), incompetence. This stuff, while it bothered me somewhat, used to roll off my back!

I am so irritated at my husband and some of the dumb financial decisions (i.e. "mistakes) he's made lately that I can barely contain it. I've already taken over the finances and won't take no for an answer. I told this big, burly guy who was washing his truck by a fire hydrant in the entrance of our neighborhood to MOVE HIS TRUCK! (LOL - he called me the "B" word - I called him a "moron.") I gave my neighbor who was sitting behind me during a school concert "the look" because she kept yapping throughout the entire darned concert. Yes, these people were all in the wrong - but I was always a "nice" girl and never said anything about it before. Now I'm a "B." (ok, not by my DH's account). Do you get more aggressive/assertive going through peri? Will I ever calm down again?

Donna (aka the "B")

Dear Donna,

I am 56, back to having regular periods after an 18 month hiatus, and have no idea where I am in the peri/meno series. All I know is that, like you, I have turned into a royal b****.

Most of the time, I feel like I have no patience any more for anyone or anything. Everything annoys me, or worse, makes me want to scream out loud. I curse like a drunken sailor at drivers on the road who cut me off, at myself if my shirt is more wrinkled than I thought, under my breath when the fish man is not at his station in the supermarket. I have never been like this in my life.

But sometimes, I am my old sweet self, with patience and generosity for all.

I am sure that my hormones are doing loopty loops. I stay away from humanity when I am feeling out of sorts, and then tune back in when I am normal again.

I really empathize. I think I have PMS for the first time in my life. At 56. What a treat.

Best,
Marcy

I can join this club too

We are not B we are ASSERTIVE! and YEAH for US!!!!!!!!! AND yes, everyone but us IS a moron! Joan (hear me ROAR!)

Ha, ha.....loved the title of this post! I'm right there with you! I seem to have way less tolerance for people. I talk out loud to myself when driving, complaining about the idiot that just did this or that. I get impatient in lines, traffic, on hold, etc. And, yes, sometimes my family makes me crazy, too. I used to be quite shy, but am finding myself much more outspoken these days.

But, like Marcy, it comes and goes for me, too. Some days I don't notice anything, other days everyone is annoying to me in one way or another! I try to stay home when I am feeling a "low people tolerance", but this isn't always possible! gardenbear

Oh yeah!!! Add me to this club too!!

I do the same thing as all of you, the only thing I can't do is stay home, though trust me, sometimes I really should!!

Queen "B" here! I have no problem telling people where they could go and what to do when they get there Of course when I'm not panicking, I'm usually hot and raging. I need a zipper for my mouth sometimes.

Sometimes I get so crabby about things that I e-mail the companies about their product or employees and I become incredibly persistent about it.

If I get bad service at a store or restaurant and the employee doesn't make it right, look out.

My dear daughters are always saying, "Mom, you didn't send an e-mail again, did you?" ..... like that's a bad thing!

I like your saying, gardenbear, "low people tolerance". Yep, I've got that too.

Some days, I just stay home, because I can't hardly bear myself, how could anyone else?

janeann

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one!

I'm not sure whether to chalk it up to hormones or just getting older (NOT "old") or just maybe a little of both. I have patience with my children and other children (I'm a teacher), but adults? No way. They should know by now!

Donna

I am joining this club as well.
I don't know why people go out of their way to annoy ME!!

I have always been a fighter for the 'underdog' but lately I find that there are no underdogs....just 'dawgs' Self absorbed, self indulgent....self - self -self....The ....it's all about ME..club. No thanks!!

I don't know if Peri persay is the cause for us to be more 'aggresive'.....rather I think we as woman of a certain age no longer have the tolerance for these self proclaimed ...ME- ME - ME people that are all around us.

I see it everyday. I deal with people who are so self absorbed that it blows mee wee brain apart. I have to tell myself that I only had to spend 5 minutes with them...yet they have to spend ALL day with themselves.

It no longer rolls off our backs as our backs are bumpy with life lessons. Our parents taught us to treat people as we would like to be treated. Now it seems ~ it is treat people as though they do not exist.

These (ahem) People treat with me with respect because I am a 'manager' (titles seem to be impressive to these slobs)....yet they treat my staff as slaves. I can not tell you the amount of times during the day when I must step into the line of fire to still the disgusting ways that some of my customers treat my younger staff. They seem to take joy in picking on someone that they feel is 'lesser' than them. LESSER? Give me a break!! My staff have more class in their little finger than these spoiled rotters who chew gum ....talk on their cell phones disrupting everyones pleasure....( Your phone call does NOT interest me!! ) Tell me that they are having a dinner catered because 'insert famous name here' is coming for dinner......~if they only knew ~ and think that the world is their personal oyster with those around them living to 'serve' them. In some ways I feel sorry for these people....shallow, insignificant, worthless, and petty.

You are not a 'B'.....you are fed up with these people who are ......living in their own little world.......with NO respect for others. I have NO respect for them....and I have NO tolerance for them....never have...never will.


Whew I feel better already
Dottie

they're idiots, plain and simple

yep, i want to copy this OP and send it to my DH and say, "SEE! It's NOT just ME!"

Agree,agree,agree!!! My daughter too!! She gets tired of listening to me. I'm glad it's not just me!!

I'm still waiting for the assertiveness and "bitch" factor to kick in Everything else has.

It will it will kick in!

Boy I am having a day today and this thread is great to let of steam....it made me laugh, too...I SEE myself in EVERY post! Ha, loved the taking to self road rage....anyone look in my car would get out of my way if they see how I am going on and on gestering in my car all by myself....ha, aha, ah...it's a pie in the face day....only problem is I would rather EAT the pie....just what my hips need... Joan

LMAO I thought I was only one flipping the bird under the dashboard.

Dottie:

I think you said it all! Getting older and realizing how blantantly self absorbed some people iare is sometimes too much to take! I do have lots of years left, though, and I wonder how I am going to live in this world if I already feel so intolerant most of the time! Oh well, at least I'm not the only one who feels this way!

Donna

You all made me feel better! I really thought I was on the verge of losing my mind with my extreme *ahem* intolerance! At least I know I have fellow sisters out there going through the same thing!

I find I have less and less tolerance for rude behavior, too. I told my husband the other day that the next time I pay for anything if the clerk doesn't say "Thank you", I'm going to return everything (even groceries!). I'm so fed up with the "You're all set" statement. I feel like Andy Rooney these days. I paid my $600 oil bill the other day and the girl said "You're all set". I told my husband we're switching oil companies. I should at least get a thank you I feel for a $600 bill.

And I've say through so many school performances where the parents are yammering away, too. Once I was at a gym show and I was sitting near a woman who had a camera which looked like it weighed about 50 pounds to photograph her daughter who kept falling off a skateboard (and she just had to sit on it, not even stand on it). She and her friend spent the entire time at the gym show criticizing the kids (other kids, not their own, of course). The PTO and school stuff sends me over the edge.

Also in church people who talk drive me crazy, too. It's not the kids that drive me crazy, it's the adults who chatter away. It's an hour service and you think they could keep quiet for an hour.

Frisbee

Yes...everyone is a moron. A miserable, difficult, know-it-all, beat you out of the best parking spaces, gotta be first in the check-out line, can't wait their turn at the doctor's office, be nasty to the server about their food, full fledged 100% bonifide MORON!!

I know...I've met them just this week myself.

First, when someone calls me the "B" word I thank them. Usually means that they are doing something wrong and just don't want to admit it so they resort to name calling...it is oh so mature!!

Second, I think as we get older we just become more assertive and less tolerant of people who have no manners, no sense of urgency as it relates to customer service and the inability to understand when they are causing others to be inconvienenced by their actions.

Though I also think that irritability is definitely related to peri, I noticed that my 25 year old step daughter came unglued this morning with the dumb a$$ in front of her in the drive thru lane just set in her way after his transaction was complete.

So, be proud of yourself that you are not afraid to stand up for what you believe in and what bothers you!!

Shakin'

I feel exactly the same as the OP (and everyone else in this thread). My most prominent menopause symptom is that I'm-Pissed-Off-All-The-Time. Grrrrrrr!!

I'm quite proud of myself for seldom showing it, though. This is a feat of huge proportion! Yay me!

Of course, I've never been shy about speaking up for myself and I still do this, but in a controlled manner. I make no promises that this control will continue, however.

I am getting to the point I don't want to go out in public anymore for fear of shooting off my mouth!

I can relate to all of this completely. I think for me, what it is is that I'm tired. Dumbness or rudeness is boring and predictable! When I was in my twenties, rude treatment was relatively new (or dumb behavior; either one). But now, decades later, it's still happening and it's old. Or maybe I'm the one who's old.....

Since I've reached middle age, I've noticed that I have somehow mysteriously become "invisible." Not all the time, but I can always tell by the way people act. Sometimes I must be in full color and size, because they speak directly to me and answer me normally. Other times, I know I'm invisible because they never say a word and never look at me. They must think they are dealing with a ghost and things are floating in the air. They take my money and hand me the merchandise without a single word. My being invisible is more obvious when I'm with my husband. Sometimes, after being totally ignored during a conversation, even when I try to speak up, I say, "Oh, I'm invisible again; I can tell!" This at least gets a bewildered glance from them, and then I say, "Oh, I must now be reappearing; you actually looked directly at me!"

Here's a little ditty in the spirit of "Sixth Sense." Recite it to yourself when you feel annoyed by the morons.

"I see stupid people all the time.
They're everywhere.
They walk around like everyone else.
They don't even know they're dumb."

yes yes yes!!!!! this is me too... all of it, from being a total B, to being invisible... i take pride in being a B, i don't care any more.. stiupid, rude, inconsiderate, self absorbed idiots deserve all they get, and i am sick to death of being nice to them all..

Hi Donna,

Funny I have been thinking the same thing about myself...where did the nice girl go???? Well its feels good to be aggressive once in a while doesn't it! I have been "Ms Jekyl and Mrs Hide" for the last 8 months...welcome to Peri-menopause.
Take Care,
Anita

Have you seen the Menopausal Women in Parking Lot?

This could very easily have been me!!

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=UJoiWAyjFtw

Reminds me the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" when the main character hits the car that takes her parking place and she says something like "I'm older and have more insurance". Really funny.

DianaJJ

I have to say i am irritated today and every one is a moron lol i want to hit something but last time i did i ended up with stitiches. I am irratated with myself more then anything, i hurt my knee and had it xrayed waiting on results..meanwhile hubby and i had planned a out ot town trip for a couple days at a theme park where there is lots of walking, so tonite hubby seen the pain i was in and cancelled reservations. i am a moron and so is hubby, and people in walmart better watch out or a cart will be up their behind lol. Sorry girls your not morons, just everyonelse that irratates me...yes i can relate to all of you and i am sorry we have to go through this, wish i had a magic wand to change us back to healthy normal beings.

I have to agree about school. I had to quit PTO. I told my Dr I quit and he ask why, and I told him they were all idiots. He ask Have you always thought that? I said yes but before I could leave and go to my car and think IDIOTS!! But now I don't want to leave without telling each and everyone of them that I think they are IDIOTS.
Church is another hard place that I am having trouble containing my personal opinion. Thank God for grace and mercy.
Glen

This is why everyone is a moron....because anyone that consists mainly of testosterone is a MORON!!!! It all began yesterday when I came home from work....my 12 year old was sleeping on the couch. I had asked my husband how long he had been sleeping....his response was about 2 hours. When I approached him to wake him up....figuring that if he slept now he would not sleep later that evening...my husband told me NOT to wake him up...that he had an exhausting weekend and that our son needed the rest. We argued about the issue until I just gave up and walked away. My son slept for a total of 5 hours! So what happend when it was time for bed????? Of course...he could not sleep. Now I am having my own sleep issues...mainly that it takes me a while to fall asleep and staying asleep is impossible. At around 3am my son wakes me up after I just fallen asleep myself about an hour and a half prior....to see if he could stay in my room to try to fall asleep. But he did not bring just himself into the room...he brought our two dogs into the room that thought it was time for them to get up, get fed and walked. Of course my son fell right to sleep....it took me a 1/2 hour to calm the dogs down...and unfortunately, I did not fall back asleep until a 1/2 hour before I was scheduled to get up anyway. Needless to say when it was time to get my son up I was not really sympathetic....when my husband asked me to do some things before work...I was not up for his requests....for which he jokingly called me the B word. I then forwarned him that yes, I was in a B mood this morning and probably would be for the entire day...so he might want to do himself a favor and not call me unless it is an emergency at work....and when I get home to not bother me with anything. I can assure you that calling him a moron was a term of endearment...

This is why everyone is a moron....because anyone that consists mainly of testosterone is a MORON!!!! It all began yesterday when I came home from work....my 12 year old was sleeping on the couch. I had asked my husband how long he had been sleeping....his response was about 2 hours. When I approached him to wake him up....figuring that if he slept now he would not sleep later that evening...my husband told me NOT to wake him up...that he had an exhausting weekend and that our son needed the rest. We argued about the issue until I just gave up and walked away. My son slept for a total of 5 hours! So what happend when it was time for bed????? Of course...he could not sleep. Now I am having my own sleep issues...mainly that it takes me a while to fall asleep and staying asleep is impossible. At around 3am my son wakes me up after I just fallen asleep myself about an hour and a half prior....to see if he could stay in my room to try to fall asleep. But he did not bring just himself into the room...he brought our two dogs into the room that thought it was time for them to get up, get fed and walked. Of course my son fell right to sleep....it took me a 1/2 hour to calm the dogs down...and unfortunately, I did not fall back asleep until a 1/2 hour before I was scheduled to get up anyway. Needless to say when it was time to get my son up I was not really sympathetic....when my husband asked me to do some things before work...I was not up for his requests....for which he jokingly called me the B word. I then forwarned him that yes, I was in a B mood this morning and probably would be for the entire day...so he might want to do himself a favor and not call me unless it is an emergency at work....and when I get home to not bother me with anything. I can assure you that calling him a moron was a term of endearment...

rjo, I don't blame you one bit; I think you acted very calmly and rationally compared to what I would have done. When my puppy was little, I got up one night at about 2:00 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and she was all happy and jumping around, thinking we were going to get up and play and eat. She would not calm down, so I had to leave her in that room and go into the spare bedroom. She started whining and scratching at the door; kept me awake. I ended up with almost no sleep and had to go to work.

The other day, the fuel pump went on my car while I was driving. Anyone with fuel pump experience will tell you that it's one car problem with no symptoms and no prevention. There's a jolt and then no power, the gas pedal becomes useless, and the car drifts to a stop, no matter where you are. I had been out on a quick trip and had not brought my cell phone, just my wallet. I had to lock up my car and walk a mile to a gas station. At the station, I asked where the pay phone was. The moron never answered. I asked a second time. He mumbled that it was "out there." I walked "out there" and saw no phone. Thinking about my car sitting with the hazard lights going, I went back in and, with more urgency, asked again, "Where did you say the pay phone was?" He sort of waved his arm toward the window and mumbled "over there." I finally found the darn thing after looking again, but didn't have enough change to call my husband--it takes four quarters for every call now, and I just had some nickels, dimes, pennies. Went back in the station to change a dollar bill; no one looked at me nor said anything. I called my husband and he did not answer, so I left a message. I went back into the station and said, "I've run out of gas (which is what I thought at the time); do you have a gas can I can borrow with a deposit?" No answer. There were three attendants and no one even looked at me. I raised my voice, "Can I borrow a gas can?" One of them answered, "You have to purchase one." I asked where they were. No answer. I yelled, "Where are the gas cans??" One of them was reading a newspaper, looked up and said, "Charlie, do you know where the gas cans are?" Charlie answered, "Over there." I walked "over there," got a can, went to the register, and the moron started to ring up the empty can. I said, "I need to buy a gallon of gas!!" He rang that up, too. I went out, filled the can, but could not fit the spigot on. Some plastic do-hickey thing fell on the ground and the spigot wouldn't fit. I could just see walking a mile to my car and not being able to pour the gas in. I went back into the station. No one looked up. I said very loudly, "I need SOMEONE to show me how to USE THIS THING before I walk all the way back to my car!!" One of them picked up the can and went outside (because of gas fumes inside) and put the spigot in. I walked all the way back to my car, poured in the gas, and tried to start it. Would not start. Back to the gas station; by this time, my lunch hour was up and I was getting VERY angry and sweating bullets! Had to change a five dollar bill this time for calls. The ending is that I finally got some help; my husband showed up, and my car got towed and fixed.

But the point of this is, not one person at that station cared enough to even look at me or offer any assistance whatsoever. What a bunch of MORONS!! I just hope that one day they will have trouble like I did, and get treated like I did!

OM Goodness I was thinking the same thing. Every time I get on the phone to deal with some one else's mistake, I tell myself to "be nice" and then the hormonal rage takes over and I am a complete "bit--". Some days, I don't even rehearse the nice part. I realize I am on a holy terror and make calls I should not. The later my period is the worse it gets. Never mess with a woman going through the change!

I'm so relieved to find this discussion. I'm 41, had full hysterectomy 2 years ago. Have the hot flashes mostly under control now (acupuncture and herbs), vaginal dryness not too bad, the WORST thing so far is RAGE!!! Oh my god, some days I really feel like I've been possessed... or am losing my mind . I'm the kind of woman who is totally ok with anger usually (I'm an Aries after all), but this is so far beyond reasonable anger, its sooo intense. Sometimes the rage and just overall "everyone is a moron" annoyance feels like (this is how I've described it to my friends) metal grinding against metal with no "lubricant" .... Just today, a bunch of stupid things happened (like losing stuff, which is another whole topic, right?) and i felt like the anger/rage was like too big to contain in my body. Sometimes its so bad i feel so close to violence... like wanting to punch a wall, or break stuff. Has anyone found anything that helps? (don't want to do SSRI's which I know do help with some of this).
thanks,
Nance

Xanax. I had to make a decision. I could continue to choose the anger and rage that I inflicted on myself and others or take a blue pill that help me gain control over these feelings and reduce the anxiety associated with them.

Beating up on myself was bad enough, beating up on another by words, actions and deeds was absolutely deplorable behavior that I was unable to get a handle on until I started on Xanax.

Hey there, just seen this. Might help to know that while this might sound weird, I found yoga really helps. Am into Meno and was looking for help with extreme exhaustion and irritabilty. Just lucked onto yoga as a form of exercise good for arthritis and have found that it's great for stress, for alleviating the feeling that you could really do damage to some people. It's all about learning the deep breathing, stretching. Big bonus is weight loss/stabilisation. Great for sleep too. I still feel incredible irritation with people, but hey, they deserve it!!! Just go to one beginner's class and see how good you feel and how well you sleep that night.
All the best, Lynne from Australia

I agree wholeheartedly! I see myself in your experiences. Unfortunately it is my DH that seems to be able to push my buttons the most. I am trying to cope by just zoning out most of the time I feel this way .....but how long can this possibly last?? It really *****.

Me too!

Zanax has helped a lot plus the Yoga.I too was often feeling ashamed at the amount of irritation I was feeling against people!Actually,I believe the anxiety level is so high,the Hormaones so low that everything is blown out of proportion.

Rage Controlled
Elizabeth

You're right! There are a lot of Morons. I don't get it. Like your examples, do people really think that you want to listen to them during a concert or movie. It's the obvious things that get me like that. I frequently have the thought, "Hello?! It's simple here people! Don't talk during a movie!...Don't leave your shopping cart in the middle of the isle so no one can get around!...When you see me, can you please move your cart?...Don't pull out in front of me & make me slam on my brakes, & then go half a block to turn off! I know that you see me standing here at the deli counter. Can I please just inconvenience you for a minute to get some flippin' ham! I know that I am not the size 2 implant that you just held the door open for, but would it kill you to just stand there for a half of a nanno second more, when you see me with a heavy box?" I sometimes think to myself, is it the hormones, or is it just the fact that I am old enough to have half of a brain to see the obvious? I try to talk myself through the frustration, only to say to myself, No, there stupid and they need to be confronted with their stupidity. I have remained quiet all my life, and now I can't take it anymore! I roll in & out of that thought process & the thought process of ,"Oh Cybil, let it go. Life is just too short for negative thoughts. Those poor people will be enlightened one day. Just like you are. Then they too can laugh at the others who aren't as enlightened. I'm a lunatic!
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You're right! There are a lot of Morons. I don't get it. Like your examples, do people really think that you want to listen to them during a concert or movie. It's the obvious things that get me like that. I frequently have the thought, "Hello?! It's simple here people! Don't talk during a movie!...Don't leave your shopping cart in the middle of the aisle so no one can get around!...When you see me, can you please move your cart?...Don't pull out in front of me & make me slam on my brakes, & then go half a block to turn off! I know that you see me standing here at the deli counter. Can I please just inconvenience you for a minute to get some flippin' ham! I know that I am not the size 2 implant that you just held the door open for, but would it kill you to just stand there for a half of a nanno second more, when you see me with a heavy box?" I sometimes think to myself, is it the hormones, or is it just the fact that I am old enough to have half of a brain to see the obvious? I try to talk myself through the frustration, only to say to myself, No, there stupid and they need to be confronted with their stupidity. I have remained quiet all my life, and now I can't take it anymore! I roll in & out of that thought process & the thought process of ,"Oh Cybil, let it go. Life is just too short for negative thoughts. Those poor people will be enlightened one day. Just like you are. Then they too can laugh at the others who aren't as enlightened. I'm a lunatic!
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I don't think it's just us being fussy. I think there has been a serious decline in etiquette over the years. People are incredibly self-centered now and feel no compulsion to be nice to others. It's all me me me me now.

I watched in shock as a women let a door slam on a double baby carriage that a guy was pushing. He thought she was going to hold it open for him, so did I, and she just let it go and the door hit the side of the carriage ! She was in a hurry. Prior to that I watched several people completely ignore the poor guy, who was trying to get through a set of doors that only opened inward. I wanted to help but was too far away. By the time I caught up he had made his way through.

Wow, where are ya'll? I thought I was the only 'B' women on earth. Everyone else seems to tolerant, patient, easygoing. And being a christian, I feel sooooo guilty about my impatience. My husband used to have to remind me when we got in line, "don't say anything". So, though I may not FEEL it, I can FAKE it. I also try reverse psychology on myself: instead of complaining to the management about bad employees, I like to compliment good employees to their managers. I had one manager recently tell me how much she appreciated hearing something positive about a cashier, that mostly she just hears complaints. Well then DO something about your BAD employees, and you'll hear compliments-at least that is my thinking. I am convinced that the reason we have so much hostility when dealing with the public is that nowdays, businesses hire KIDS> what do you expect?

I don't know, lately I feel that I'm withdrawing from everyone because everybody gets on my nerves. We had our Christmas party at work today, and why can't I get into a good mood? Someone who works at a desk nearby is wearing a charm bracelet and the jingling is driving me nuts. Then there's another woman who has a problem with laughing--she never stops, and she has the loudest, most raucous laugh I've ever heard. She never closes her mouth! I'm wondering if her head will just split in half. She laughs at everything people say, even when it's not funny. People have commented to me that it annoys them, too, but no one knows what to do. I'm getting irritated because people at work come walking up and just barge in on me, and I was in the middle of something. I had a problem with my computer, and the boss, who's female, sits in an office about ten feet away from me. So she calls me on my phone to ask a simple question, and my phone is ringing and ringing but I was trying to fix my computer problem and I'm deep in thought. Why can't she just get up and walk the ten feet? It seems like everyone has to be rude, men especially. It's different now that I'm older. When I was younger, it seemed like they were more friendly. I don't know how many doors have closed in my face in the last few days; the elevator door shuts as you walk up, and they don't even bother to hold it for you. And driving! Same thing; I get cut off, people go roaring by, glaring, and I don't even know what I'm doing that's so bad.

Are you by any chance driving slow in the left lane, which is supposed to be the passing lane? This is one thing that will make me crazy. It's common driving etiquette to stay out of the left lane unless you're passing or going to turn left soon. I've seen entire articles in newspapers and magazines written about those who hold up traffic poking in the left lane. Here in IL, a law was finally passed that you could get a ticket if you drove in the left lane and were not passing and/or or were holding up traffic, which forces others to dart in and out to get around and increases the risk of accidents.

But if that's not it, then who knows why they get upset. It doesn't take much these days for a driver to get rude and angry. It's as though they think the road was made especially for them and woe be unto anyone who might get in their way.