Hi everyone:

I just need some impute.

My parents recently moved to a city about an hour away from us due to my Dad's health concerns. Where they moved, he gets great care etc. etc. Also, my brother lives only 5 minutes away from them so that is great. I really wanted them to move to our city as we have never had a decent car and I knew it would be hard for me to get up there to visit. BUT, they do have a great bus system and I can take from my city to their city but I need a ride from the bus station to my parents apartment. My brother was willing to pick me up from the bus station as he told me "No problem" Just whenever you get up here. Now, I don't go up there that much. Maybe every 6 weeks and when I do go up, I stay the weekend so I can spend more time with them, drive them around, do fun stuff etc. Of course, when I go, I have luggage. Now, all of a sudden my brother is telling me he is not interested in picking me up anymore. I know I could take a cab but that would run really expensive and make the trip a rather expensive trip just to get up to my parents.

I don't know, i just feel frustrated. On one hand, my brother keeps writing me and telling me to come up and visit but now that I am trying to come up, he doesn't want to deal with it. I know his wife is kind of complaining to him about him doing to much for his family but then they are always running off to see and do things for her family.

I feel just frustrated as if my brother doesn't come and get me, the cost of going up will get to be to much.

I sure wish we had a decent car.

Thanks for listening.

Hugs
Mopsy

Maybe brother is feeling bogged down, with mom and dad in the area etc? Give it some time and maybe when things are more settled you can discuss it with him again. I know it was a lot for me a month ago running to deal with my father, taking him where he needed to go, making phone calls for his meds etc. My children became neglected as did my husband, it was time I told others no, if that makes sense.

I understand a little bit. My mom lives almost 3 hours away and she's going through chemo treatments. My SDad died a couple of years ago so she lives alone. I can't get up to see her as much as I'd like too. Work, family, and also the obligations of having to visit my MIL who also lives alone just seem to make it so difficult. I have a sister and brother who live 45 minutes away from Mom and they are able to see her more often so she doesn't feel neglected but it doesn't ease my desire to be there for her. So while I don't have any answers for you I do feel your pain.

thanks for letting me vent girls. I just feel frustrated. My parents have lived there almost a year now. They used to live fairly close to me and I so miss just running over and seeing them. I used to do that all the time.

I doubt my brother is feeling bogged down. He doesn't do much running for them as they have a good transportation thing for my Dad that takes them around to appointments and things like that.

My brother never minded picking me up in the past. I think he enjoyed it as we chit chatted and had fun. I just don't know what is going on all of a sudden. I have been thinking all afternoon of alternative ways to get around with out costing so much.

I am just so glad I can come on here and vent and talk as I know you women have such great ideas.

Hugs
Mopsy

Heck, just ask him what is up. Ya know in a nice sort of way "hey I enjoyed our rides and chit chats, is something bothering you". Maybe it is as you said, the wife isn't happy with it.

Not to get too personal Mopsy, but do you give your brother money for gas? People seem to get kind of touchy when the price of gas goes so much higher than what they usually pay. Plus, just the idea that you are willing to help out with the costs involved with picking you up might make your brother feel better about doing it.

Do you call him ahead of time and ask if the date you have picked works for him, before you make plans with your parents? Just assuming that he is available and willing without asking him first might be rubbing him the wrong way. Just a thought.

I gather that when you visit with your parents you help them out with things that they might normally call him to do. Maybe mentioning that you are glad you can relieve the burden that oftentimes falls on the child living closer to aging parents might put things into perspective for him. If I were in his shoes, picking you up from the bus station would be a small price to pay for a weekend "off."

A non-confrontational talk with your brother might reveal his change of heart. Something is going on and you would probably both feel better if it were out in the open.

Hi Chocolatewoman99:

Yes, I have offered gas money (never wants it as he makes 6 figures) I do call him ahead of time and we have always worked out the best weekend for him (not always for me but I do it for his sake) Yes, he knows that it really helps him out when I come up. He is always asking me to come up and visit.

I think I will ask him what is going on. Maybe there is something he is to embarressed to tell me. I am just glad I can come here and talk about it. It is great having this group of women.

Hugs
Mopsy