Is it really normal to feel good one day or week and then think your fixed and boom back again? I used to be so calm and now any little thing throws me into a rage. I feel like I have pms all year long!! I have had 3 periods this year but still have pms all the time. One minute I am so happy and feel I am done with this mess and the next I am sobbing and feeling like nothing will ever be good again. It's like people are the "cheese grater" on my nerves these days. Is this perimenopause or have I just become a terrible out of control person?

YES That is exactly how it is. Perimenopause is as unpredictable as the weather.

The great news is that, by stopping by here, you can get the upper hand on those pesky hormones that are trying to wreck you!

Having some insight into your feelings will help calm the fear of it all. It is a journey though and I personally don't think that there any short cuts.

The main aim is to survive the journey relatively intact, with a few relationships left and move into the sunlight at the end of the tunnel.
I am still searching for the sunlight but am convinced that it exists. My goodness when I find it, I am going to shout so loud that the whole internet will feel the earth move!

Keep your chin up and keep saying to yourself, 'this will pass.' Hopefully, one-day, I will learn to take my own advice.




Cheers,

XIII

Hi Momof9 (wow 9!),

I would just like to second the "You're Not A Terrible Person" motion. And I'll throw in a "You're Not Crazy" motion just for good measure.

Uncertainty seems to be the only thing I can count on.

I would run the symptoms by your doctor, if I were you. When I first started peri, I was so cranky I could not stand myself or anyone around me. A low dose of Zoloft really took the edge off and helped me to function much better. I am a big believer in not suffering if it can be avoided.

I hope your symptoms abate very soon.

Best,
Marcy

hi mom of nine

i agree with xiii and marcy - one day you think its over and the next your symptoms are back full stregnth - just recently I had a few good days - an today i'm the pits again - and the more you fight the pits the wose it gets - somehow I think we have to make some peace with the "bad" days if we are lucky enough to have good ones - and hang on tothe hope that they do exist and will return.

I also agree with Marcy - what ever it takes within legal and safe limits to get you through - do it!

pooks

please excuse spelling and grammatical errors i am totally peri brain - so embarrasing (sp.) sheeeeeeeeeeesh

Mine is definitely a roller coaster ride, so YES you sound to be normal to me.

I think as soon as we think we are over the worst, and then it hits again, you seem to go down harder, so I have decided when I am having a rare good day, is to procede with caution and to take each day as it comes.
best wishes to you.
Caroline

Wow thanks everyone!! I feel better. I am living in Saudi Arabia and not many people talk about stuff like this so I am not sure what to do. I am taking this soya stuff and feel it might help a little. It is like you all said one day I think wow o.k. this isn't so bad and it must be over then the next day or week I am sobbing and in a rage about something that is probably not such a big deal. I feel so weird like love towards people then extreme irritation!! anyway thanks for the responses!!

Any mother of NINE CHILDREN deserves all my respect and admiration. WOW!!

My goodness, I lost my sensibility years ago just raising one daughter and 2 twin sons. My neighbor is juggling 6 children from a blended family, and I see how frightfully busy her life is. You deserve the woman of the century award in my book! Kudos to you.

I am in awe.

Oh, and by the way, I am unable to answer your question, since I am nuts each and every day. I have absolutely no idea what normal is.

(((((((Momof9))))))))))

I can empathize with you I never knew that emotions could fluctuate so much! It's very frustrating to finally enjoy feeling good only to plunge to the depths of anxiety. It feels like one step forward and five steps back, never getting ahead always lagging behind! Now the Good news it won't last forever and one day you will wake up feeling renewed! I pray that day comes sooner the later for you! God Bless You!

Blessings,

Aisha

Loved your response!! thanks. yeah well I guess I can agree with you I do feel the same but some days feel like that old warm and happy feeling? does that sound dumb?

It does NOT sound dumb! At this time in our lives, there is no such thing as steady and predictable. We are all on the roller coaster now, and there's no way to get off.
Some days, the ride is frightening.
Some days, the ride makes us sick.
Some days, the ride makes us bump heads, and get angry and hurt.
Some days, the ride makes us float on air.

You never know what lies around the bend in the coaster tracks. But one thing IS certain. One day, the ride will be over. But there is no way to tell when that day will come. There is no expiration date stamped on our tickets.

I might have one day a week I feel normal everything is rosy I think straight!

Love the poem!!

I haven't been on this site for months - because I felt ok again. The last few weeks I have steadily got worse again. All the symptoms are coming back! arrrrrrrrrrr

I am gald I found this site. On my one good day a week, I have to go around doing damage control for my other days! On top of feeling anxious and scared I feel guilty. The other night at dinner, all I could hear was my SO's slurping of his soup. It might as well have been a 747. Never noticed before. Is this obsessiveness part of the crazies, too? My SO is scared of me now because I went off on him. Don't think the relationship will survive this. I have had symptoms of perimenopause for several years but the crazies weren't part of it til maybe the past few months. Any advise on mending fences or educating the SO??

As I'm moving through these forums lately it seems that mood swings are on the top of the lists. We're so tired of feeling like Jekyl and Hyde. Our hormones are out of balance and that's what happens. Irritability and mood swings are just two of our lovely symptoms. The hormone that controls the seratonin in our brains is out of whack. When the seratonin drops so do our moods and the other way - although I think I notice when I'm bitchy more than when I'm in a good mood. Turmeric and Soy Isoflavones seem to help me.
Bobbi

I totally understand what you mean I find that certain behaviour traits of my SO drive me to distraction at certain times of the month and at times I feel I could even leave because I can't stand them anymore. Then the next day I feel completely different and none of them seem like a big deal anymore. Does anyone else feel like this? Sometimes I get scared that it's nothing to do with menopause but my emotions are so changable I can't trust them. I am taking HRT and the anxiety has gone but not the irratibility.

YES YES YES it is normal to feel fixed then go nuts again during peri as it has just happened to me yet again . I go for long periods of feeling somewhat normal whatever that is, then bam I'm back to square one and feeling anxious and out of control and health anxiety goes into overdrive etc etc etc. It seems my body can not handle any amount of stress these days which is darn near impossibe to avoid.

Rox

Oh my gosh, this is how I am too.
I have started going days feeling, well, normal (for me), then zing....
out of the blue, I feel horrid again.
The days I'm feeling okay, I am hardly on the internet.
The days I am horrid, I can't stop looking up terrible diseases that I am
certain I have. Plus, my anxiety disorder kicks into overdrive and I am
scared of everything.

Not nice.

Sometimes I can't even stand being with me, so how can anyone else?

Such is peri.

janeann

I am the same, For the past couple of months I haven't been on here much, just to check in, because I was feeling pretty good, well as good as it gets for me, then Bam I feel bad again so here I am looking for answers but not finding any but finding comfort in others suffering as I do.

Gawd that sounded awful didn't it but misery loves company

Rox

That didn't sound awful; it's so true. This page sure has helped me right now as it's reassuring to know this is perimenopause and not just me being moody as ever and feeling crazy. Sometimes, I get into the depression so deep, I don't even want to get out; because there will just be more and you never know exactly what you will get. But, it's so true, that when you fight it, it gets worse. It's like I'm losing something; myself, all parts of it that cover who I really am and it's scary as ever. Like, I can't hide or pretend anymore. Dr. Christiane Northrup says, that no matter what you take and do to help, you still have to basically deal with it at an emotional level; she words it differently. I just want it to go away. It's like I don't have the past anymore and am going somewhere but don't know where that is. Lots of thoughts of death; not suicidal, just knowing I will die. Fear about it and hard to relax. I never relax much; I do and then the fear returns.

Stuff my husband says, I see as he's bugging me; he's just making jokes but to me, nothing is funny. My perspective is not there a lot of the times. Survival mode a lot of the times. I still keep doing things I'm afraid of and stuff I have to do because I don't want this to control me but there are days where I just don't want to do anything; everything takes so long and is such an effort. Just watched Desperate Housewives and only got the first hour; it was taped and I didn't know there was a 2nd hour. If anyone knows what happened, let me know. When I do something like this, then my mind gets focused on that which helps.

Jan

Hi Jan,

Sorry you are having such a hard time! You are in the same boat as the rest of us. Its just hormonal....they ebb and flow.....and we feel better and then bad!

You can catch up on Desperate by going to a play by play on msnbc in the entertainment section. I just read it tonight after I watched it. I think my mouth is still hanging open from all the "goings on"!

Take care,

lr3216

Hi, thanks for the info on Desperate Housewives. I checked the site out;The ending sounds great!! If anyone has it taped and would mail it to me, I would pay them for everything. What is it about that show? It's so crazy but so addictive.

Not feeling great this morning; lots of dreams and waking up.

Jan