HI,
I am 54 and have been experiencing feelings of anxiety and depression, getting worse and worse with time, starting about a year ago. My feelings are so intense I can barely deal with anything now. I don't want to be alone, (feeling like a little kid), and am putting my family through hell.

I am on Valium for anxiety, but it barely works, even at a high dose. My doctor will wean me off of it soon, and I don't know how I"m going to feel then. I have tried the bioidenticals, made by a compounding pharmacist and they didn't seem to help anything except the hot flashes, which weren't so bad to begin with.

I can't stand feeling foggy, forgetful, depressed and anxious all of the time. If anyone has any advice, that would be great. I really could use some support now, because I feel all alone in this horrid hell.

thanks for listening,
joylaurel

Dear Joylaurel,

I want to tell you that you are NOT crazy. I also want to tell you that I was exactly where you are 10 months ago....(I am 55 now, just turned in March).

It will get better, I promise. It will take time, and a lot of patience on your part. You will figure out your own way to reframe how you feel, and you will feel better.

What literally saved me was Power Surge and the wonderful wonderful support I get here almost every day. There is nothing you cannot say here, that will go unanswered in some way. Sometimes it is just empathy, sometimes it is a GREAT idea that helps-- sometimes it just feels good to say it out loud and know that other women-- A LOT of other women, truly know what you are talking about-- that you are NOT alone.

The anxiety was so unsettling for me too-- I honestly thought I was losing my mind. I got myself a great therapist...and I recommend that you do too, it you can. They know some tricks...that really do help. I also recommend that you come here often- and just say whatever it is that is making you feeling crazy-- you will soon know that is the lack of estrogen and NOT you that is making you feel this way. My internist explained to me that over 50% of a woman's neurolgical receptors are estrogen sensitive. All heck breaks loose when we are forced to rewire during this time of our lives. I got so down that I honestly thought I would never come up....and then I started my journey here, started taking one day at a time....started doing what I needed to -- to make it through the day....somedays that meant doing nothing but going from one thing to the next (no concentration)--somedays that meant forcing myself and I mean forcing myself to take a walk- or eat something, (I completely lost my appetite, which made me worry I was dying of cancer...it goes on and on....)-- I now walk at least 5 days a week, no matter what -- somedays I can only do it for 30 minutes...but I force myself.

and today I still have some bad days...but when I do, I know exactly where to come. I remind myself that it is a bad DAY, and not a bad life... and I give myself a break.

It is not easy, in fact I often tell people it is a full time job for me, this menopause...and combined with my real job....I feel like I am always working overtime!

The brain fog WILL lift-- I promise. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Come here often and say what you need to say. I ahve found wonderful company here-- the women who use this board are the best--

With a gigantic hug,
Jonesy

Hi joylaurel,

don't feel alone, we are all there with you! I have had, and STILL DO HAVE lots of anxiety, and panic attacks! I am on xanax,and it's a wonder drug, i mean, honestly, ask you dr. for that instead, it really helps, it takes away the anxiety within minutes and also is a muscle relaxant. Valium never helped me either, made me feel weird and spaced out.
I am also, foggy, forgetful, and depressed, isn't this grand? lol ... i NEVER feel good, NEVER! I bet you feel the same way.
Have you tried Valarian? It's an herb, and it works, but it's just not as strong. Some people swear by it. I have tried it, and it was "ok", it did help, but not as much as i needed. There is also the Dr. Bach's Rescue Remedy, I don't know if you've tried that. I tried that a few years ago, it "helped", but not at all like xanax. It makes you feel sort of "distant" from your anxiety, but again, other people have some great results with it. Listen, you'll get through this! YOu will!
When this is all happening, you don't think you will......but you will. There have been times, when I had such anxiety and panic attacks, that I honestly thought 'this is it", i thought I would run out the door screaming, and just keep running until i either dropped dead, or just dropped. I know the feeling. It comes on you out of nowhere. It's hormonal. I'd say, try to take some really good vit./min. supplements, takes lots of Vit. C , drink lots of water, and basically do what you can to at least keep your BODY in some kind of good shape, as best as you can. Even THIS is hard, bec. right now, i don't feel like doing ANYTHING! But, i try, little as it may be. At least, if your body is in somewhat "alright" working order, it' ll be easier on your hormonal changes, which, in turn, will help the anxiety thing. But, again, I'd ask for xanax, for me, and most women i know, it's a God send!

Joy, you will make it through this! Remember, you are not alone! BIG HUGS! I will pray for you!!!!!

sincerely, mydarling

Hi Joylaurel,

And welcome to Power Surge. If you are feeling crazy and alone, this is the place to be, because you will discover immediately that you are neither one nor the other.

My dear Surge Sisters have already given you such good advice. Please let me just add that I really epathize with what you are going through.

I hope I will see you around often. We are always delighted to have another member of the PS family.

Very best,
Marcy

Hi Joylaurel,

And welcome to Power Surge. If you are feeling crazy and alone, this is the place to be, because you will discover immediately that you are neither one nor the other.

My dear Surge Sisters have already given you such good advice. Please let me just add that I really epathize with what you are going through.

I hope I will see you around often. We are always delighted to have another member of the PS family.

Very best,
Marcy

Hi Joylaurel,

And welcome to Power Surge. If you are feeling crazy and alone, this is the place to be, because you will discover immediately that you are neither one nor the other.

My dear Surge Sisters have already given you such good advice. Please let me just add that I really epathize with what you are going through.

I hope I will see you around often. We are always delighted to have another member of the PS family.

Very best,
Marcy

Oh my, I seem to have posted 3 times!! I am sorry.

I just wanted Joy to feel especially welcome...

(((Joylaurel)))
Welcome to Power surge and to these wonderful ladies who will all support you!
You are not alone! With the help of our friends here we can get through this together and even have some laughs on the way. Just knowing that I was not alone helped me so much.
Come and read and vent and one day you will be supporting someone yourself. I promise!
God bless, Jonie

Welcome Joylaurel,

I've had those times too!....and I'm only 48. my periods did stop last summer, so I'm almost into the menopausal bit...hope its better than the peri bit!

Try going to Yoga or meditation classes....something calming and slow your life down if it is too busy...or if its too slow speed it up!!!

I never took anything for my anxiety, I just gritted my teeth, but wish I had done at the worst of it.

keep returning and let us know your feelings, we are here to help you.

Caz

Hello,Joylaurel,I also deeply sympathise with what you are going through as I also go through episodes of bad anxiety.Deep breathing really helps,and also exercise,just a walk may help you.Try to speak to a councellor if you can,the best thing to lift me when I'm feeling totally down is a big cuddle.So many ladies here know exactly what your going through,so don't feel you are by yourself.Stay strong. pip.x.

I have had anxiety panic all my life. Valium does nothing for it. Xanax is the only thing that works for me. Even the Klonipin does nothing. It is a terrible way to live feeling fearful and anxious all the time and like your mind is just going to snap to the point of no return. I'm 44 and due to peri my anxiety panic attacks are at an all time high. Try the xanax. It really does help with that. I wish you the best.

Joy, and others!

I think it is so sad that our hormones wreck such havoc on our brains! That our thinking and emotions are so negatively impacted! I have also been a mess from anxiety and panic attacks. I didn't even know what it was I was feeling for the longest time....I interpretted it all as physical sensations, not emotional or mental ones. And to this day, I feel they were all caused by hormones (or lack thereof). I used Ativan to control the anxiety and panic attacks, and it did help to a point....but not enough. I added anti depressants, and that did help too...but not enough. I finally went for some bio identical FDA approved hormone replacement, and that helped a great deal. I now rarely require the Ativan, I only use it during very high stress events. I mostly feel normal now.

I know this will pass without all the meds, if you can wait it out. I need to work, and I was agoraphobic from my menopausal symptoms, so it was a necessity to get well enough to be able to function in the world again. I know you will find your way, whichever route you decide to take! There are women here doing it in "their own way" and everyone does make it to the otherside, basically intact, eventually!!

Hi there
This is the best place for you to come to. I am fairly new to this site too. Keep coming back - post your concerns - there are gr8 women here that help you understand what you are going thru better than your family and even your doctor. They give you back your sanity and pride - cause they understand the need to cry, cling, sook etc etc.
You might help someone else - who may not have been able to voice the same conerns as yourself.

(((((((Joy))))))
Oz

Hi there
This is the best place for you to come to. I am fairly new to this site too. Keep coming back - post your concerns - there are gr8 women here that help you understand what you are going thru better than your family and even your doctor. They give you back your sanity and pride - cause they understand the need to cry, cling, sook etc etc.
You might help someone else - who may not have been able to voice the same conerns as yourself.

(((((((Joy))))))
Oz

Whoops - a little keen with the computer buttons Sorry about the duplicate
See Joy - I can laugh at myself again
OZ

Hi all,
I am new here, I am 49 with a grown up family, you know I thought I was the only one going through this, my periods stopped in December, I now suffer from really bad anxiety/panic, head fog, confusion, forget where I left my car, agoraphobia, feelings of worthlessness, I cry a lot of the time, I never feel well, and find no joy in life, no excitement from anything anymore. In fact I am totally fed up with my life and the way I feel, yet I dont feel depressed, but have been totally non functional sometimes.
Anyway just to let you all know, I started using MAGNESIUM citrate a week ago, and have to say that has really made a difference to my mood, for me the anxiety/panic are the worst symptoms.

My hubby does his best to try and understand,. but hey he's male, its our 30th wedding anniversary this year, and as a surprise my hubby has paid for a 3week trip to the caribbean, we leave in May, at this present moment I dont want to go, and dont mean to sound ungrateful or want to hurt his feelings or anything, its because of the way I am feeling. I shut myself away, so as not to show myself up if I panic/or pass out in public.

Any help apart from what I'm doing, would be much appreciated, also use bach flower remedy.

Anjo

I think you should defintely force yourself to go on that cruise and see if your dr. will give you a prescription for xanax If you feel the anxiety starting to happen, just pop one under your tongue (it works faster and better that way) and the anxiety will subside. I almost let the fear keep my from doing things too, but the xanax does help. Don't miss out on your vacation with your husband. You will be fine. Just get something for the anxiety and make sure to carry it with you always. I wish you the best.

HI Joylaurel! I, too, have anxiety. Maybe most of my life. Now at 54 and with some recent health problems that made my anxiety worse, my dr gave me xanax. I am to take it 3 times a day but only have taken it a few times and it seems to help. You take care! Pam