Hi PS women!!!!!

Now for a little something different. I don't really know if you can relate this to menopause or just growing older.

WHY is it that more women have short hair as they grow older than long hair. A short chat with my friend TAY who
has hair to her bum and mine below the shoulderblades made me wonder why the pressure for older women to
have heir hair cut short.

Now mind you, my Mum is still an attractive woman at 72 - slim, olive skin and has the obligatory short -perm and dye job.
Yes Mum I still hear you - (she says often) -"Why dont you dye your hair, why dont you get it cut, it looked good on you when you were younger.
..blah blah..yarda yarda...."
there is more - but that is the nagging part of my Mum so we wn't go into that - love her to bits though )
NO I do not want to look like my Mum OKAY!!!

Now why is it that people think women look older with long hair - If it is clean and tidy what the diff? I wash it, I brush it..it is soft and the
white is there so what? I sometimes plait it, or twist it at the back and clip it - always looks okay - even if I havent brushed it

SO my friends - what is the concensus out there...lets see what others think

My quote for the day - It dosent matter how old you are - act how you feel !!! Woohoo - today I feel 30 again

XX Oz

Yes, my hair is below my shoulder blades too. And I do dye it to keep the gray at bay.... I feel like I would look sassier with it cut but... having short hair requires more visits to the salon so I'm procrastinating on getting it cut and... I do think I look younger, and sexier with long hair and my DH agrees.

Still my hair is baby fine and while it does look good for the first five minutes after I blow dry it, it doesn't take long for it to go limp and look like it just hangs there... does anyone have any tips for this?

It all depends on your face. Some older women look good with longer hair, but it does tend to drag the face down a bit. Most women of a certain age (and I emphasize 'most', not all) look younger with shorter hair. Plus for those of us with lots of curls, it's much easier to take care of that way!

My hair is thick an wavy - so I have always worn it short - since high school. This does not mean I have the short helmet look that so many of our mother's favored! I have a cute, sassy cut - my stylist is a gem! I also color to hide the gray- I don't mind going to the salon every 5-6 weeks. That is a time for ME and I relax and enjoy it!

I do think that long hair - IF not properly styled and maintained can age a woman. I think the secret is in a good cut (even if one if wearing their hair longer) and a color that doesn't wash you out. I think women should wear their hair however it makes them feel good about themselves. I know many women also feel pressured by the men in their lives to keep longer hair. My hubby likes my short cut - finds it sexy!

Carol - have you tried a volumizing mousse or gel on your hair?? That might help...?

Have a good hair day ladies!
Di

A pretty woman will still be beautiful, even if she were bald, and an ugly woman like myself will still be ugly, even with the most beautiful hair there is. I think a woman should wear her hair any way she pleases, as long as she is comfortable and happy with it.

I agree with Armadillo. I do know, though, for me, I look much younger with shorter hair. Hair stylists will tell you also that as you get older you should cut your hair shorter. When you see a make over done, they rarely keep long hair on anyone. . .even younger women. Again, though, I think you should wear your hair however it makes you feel beautiful.

I'm 53. My hair is to my shoulders. It is curly and I think it looks nice, but if I straighten it out with a flat iron, it makes me look horrible. It makes my face look old and saggy. So maybe the curls have something to do with it. Also, I like the longer length because I can still put it up with different clips and barretts and then I instantly have the look of short hair which I like too. It's the best of both worlds!

Sally

I'll be 52 in a few weeks. Got my shoulder-length hair cut short a few months ago. It's a short bob kind of thing my stylist recommended. She really wasn't all that keen about cutting it. She thinks there's no reason for an older woman to have short hair if she looks good with and likes her long hair.

I initially wanted a really short cut that she talked me out of. I'm so glad I went with her recommendation. I love what she did and not a week goes by that someone doesn't complement my cut. One friend said something about being jealous of my thick hair. Ha! My baby-fine hair is SO not thick. It's the cut that makes it look like I have a whole lot more hair than I do. That is the best reason, I believe, for going shorter.

I also stopped coloring my hair about a year ago, another decision I'm glad I made. My face is framed with silver-white streaks and I love it. I don't care if I could look younger if I covered the gray. For those you who are of a like mind, try Jon Frieda's Luminous Color Glaze™ Clear Shine. It really gives gray hair a nice sheen. And no, I don't sell the stuff.

I'm 55. When I was in my early 40s I went with the shorter hair cut. But, it made my round face look even rounder and I thought I just looked stuffy and too prim. I also have naturally curly hair (I didn't til I was in my early 40s - must have been hormones!). When my hair is short, the hair curls up so much that it's hard to smooth out and I look like a poodle.

So 2 years ago I started growing it out with the help of my stylist- shaping it as I went. It's now about shoulder length and I set it on hot rollers to smooth it out. Instead of lots of curl, I have nice body and it flips up at the ends. My husband says I look younger.

I have some gray hair - but it's in once clump right at my forehead, so I color it. Otherwise, it would look like an ugly gray clump. My stylist uses something called Shades, that makes all the gray a pretty gold so I look like I have highlights. The rest of my hair is a soft dark brown, like it used to look before the gray started coming in. She recommended that when I'm about 50% gray to use one all-over dark brown. But by then I may be tired of coloring and just let it grow gray. At least my gray is a shiny silver and not course and iron gray.

With longer hair, I can pull it up into a pony tail when I'm exercising.

why do i keep seeing 'older women should cut their hair' and 'older women look younger with shorter hair'

my own mother told me when i was younger, with long hair, 'you will have to cut that off when you get older'

what RUBBISH!!!

wear your hair however you think looks good for YOU!

yes... i'm 55, i have hair to my bottom, and i'm keeping it.

Have given a lot of thought to this subject.
My dil is going to beauty school, ask her a few times to cut my hair but I'm not sure if I would like it.
It's a little longer then shoulder length and the only reason I won't cut it is because I like it out of my face and in a pony tail! Just don't want to deal with it!

One day while at the hospital to have some labs a older volunteer working behind the desk really catch my eye. She was beautiful. Late 60's short blond hair, slim and you could tell a gentle sweet soul.
Some people are just beautiful no matter their age!

I get so annoyed with generalizations that older women should cut their hair, not dress sexy,etc. When I turned 45 last year, I took a hard look at myself and saw a overweight, frumpy looking middle aged woman. I took the law into my own hands and got down to a size four, went blonde with a stylish but LONG hair cut, changed my makeup and tossed out every frumpy piece of clothing that I collected during perimenopause.

Bottom line is I refuse to fall into what society deems a middle aged women should look like(although this changing thanks to the baby boomer generation). I want to be a sexy looking 60 year old with long hair without looking ridiculous, of course! I will not adopt the permed helmut haired look when I transition from my 50's and beyond.

That's just me. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

I don't think anyone in our generation has permed helmet hair any more.

Yes, forget about what others say, wear your hair whichever way you feel makes you look good. My hair is pass my shoulders, and cut in long layers with highlights. The style suits me and makes me feel pretty and sexy. I'm not conforming to what society deem appropriate. The heck with that!

I don't know about the rest of you, but where I live it's perfectly fine for middle-aged women to look good and sexy. Who exactly is telling you all that you should look frumpy? If anything, I find society is saying the opposite: now you're *supposed* to get Botox, have cosmetic surgery, dye your hair, etc. Every other show on TV seems to be about making women over. In many ways, there's too much of an emphasis on all this stuff, and not enough on aging gracefully. I'm all for minor tweaks, whether it's well-applied makeup, a really good haircut, the right clothes, etc. But I think many times we take it too far, trying to beat back the inevitable. Thus endeth my rant.

I too have hair to my shoulders and I really like it. I use a henna to cover my grey hair. I am very happy with the hair colour - being red. I am 51 and I will continue with the longer hair for quite a while.

My role model for aging has always been Ruth Gordon - remember her? She was an attractive older woman that wore her hair up in a bun quite often, if not always. She also had a wonderful zeal and wit that kept her vital and such an interesting woman. I enjoy my hair longer and in different styles. I say whatever makes you happy!

Sincerely,
Suz

Depends on your jaw and neck line. If you have started "jowls" and a "turkey neck", long unlayered straight hair is going to make your jaw line even more saggy and make your neck look even worse.

But even with that said.....if you personally like your hair long and straight....or long and curly....who gives a rip what someone else thinks.

As long as my jaw and neck hold up....my hair will be shoulder length. I'm 54. And I now sport blonde highlites in my natural red hair. No helmet hair for this meno babe.

CG

To each her own, is my thinking. Like others have said, wear your hair how you like it and think it looks best. As for me, when I was in my 30's, I wanted a change, so my hair progressively got shorter and shorter. I liked it for awhile; I thought it looked cute and spunky and it was so easy to care for! Then it got TOO short and I felt very boyish, and thought I looked too middle aged. I also got tired of wearing it the same way all the time.

So in my 40's, it has gotten longer again and I love it! I am 47 now. I still have bangs, but the rest of my hair is several inches past my shoulders. I like to put it in a pony tail a lot, but also like it down. I feel more attractive with it long and I think it makes me look younger. I am naturally blond, but occasionally spruce it up with some highlights.

My sister is 56 and has always had long hair. Her hair was dark brown and now is completely gray. But my sister is very natural and isn't one to fuss over such things. I can' t imagine her any other way, no matter what her age.

Gardenbear

I have worn my hair short for the most part, as it is SO curly! I have noticed that menopause has changed the curl in my hair, and it is much looser curls now, so I have opted to grow it longer. I wear it up sometimes and it looks nice up, and I will wear it down too. Takes a lot longer to "do" it in the morning than short hair, but it does make me feel more feminine. I could be fooling myself completely, and perhaps I do look better in shorter hair.....

My SIL grew her hair really long, and her hair is straight....and she looked terrible. Seriously, she looked old and tired, and sort of homely....recently she cut all her hair off, and it is very short, curled up on the top, swept back off her face....and she looks utterly fantastic!! She looks 20 years younger! It was an amazing transformation. And she looks pretty.... Who knew that hair can make such a difference!

Which brings me back to maybe I am kidding myself that I look good with longer hair! Oh well, I will tire of it and cut it off eventually, I always do!!

if that's the case, then whether your hair is short or long, it's not going to make any difference, you are just going to look ghastly either way! lol....

Wow! What great replies to this one.
My hair is long - basically cause I am lazy - not really but since back op arms dont work as well - and is easy to stick on back of head
It does suit me - especially when it is clean. My new fringe has gone haywire though (as does normally curly hair). Every now and then my hair
goes straight - especially thru peri - now thats different
When my hair is short it kinda looks like an afro - doesnt quite suit a fair, freckle faced 51 yo. The only one I know - and I mean only - who likes my
hair short is my Mum - bless her - I am sure she would like a mirror image thing going - exept she is slim and I am a cuddly snugglepot type

Keep up with the discussion - its great

Oh Zen, that caused me to laugh out lound right here in the office! How funny and how true.

It made me laugh out loud, too! Until I went into the Ladies washroom, and saw my reflection in the mirror. Then it made me cry.

Zen>>>>>>>> !!!!

I think a woman should do as she wishes. I am keeping my long hair for now, although at the start of 2007, it was way below my waist, but now is a little short of it. I have noticed it grows faster now than it ever did, and that makes no sense, but if we think about it, long hair put up, lifts the face as much as short hair, so I love having long hair that I can do lots of different things to.

I think those of us who have had long hair for eons can probably put it up very fast......you get used to what you have.
Maybe we should all just be happy being ourselves.....and if hair wasn't meant to be longer in Peri or on older women, it would stop growing...that's my theory and I'm sticking to it. It's also not our business what others think of us.

I've just heard about the book "Staging Your Comeback" by Christopher Hopkins. You can google "the makeover guy" and find his website, which has pics of some of his makeovers. Wow!

I wore my hair short for over 20 years. Then I started to grow it out when I became afraid of going to the hair salon. As it grew, I discovered that I have curly hair! Imagine not knowing that my whole life until now, LOL! I wear it about shoulder-length. I also color my hair with henna, which I love. I found that wearing my hair short was kinda making my face look fuller (ie fatter) and it seemed I needed a softer look. I can see the beginnings of some "jowels" emerging, yikes! I think hair can help hide some flaws and bring out some of our good assets.

I am still working on finding a cut/style that works well. I actually recently cut my hair myself, and it turned out pretty good, surprisingly!

I've kept my hair short since the 80's. It was always waist length up till then. I got tired of messing with it and having lots of young children, I decided to simplify. Now I would like to have long hair again but I don't want to go through that "yuk" stage while it grows, so I just keep cutting it!


Paula

I had long, long hair as a kid and hated every minute of it. I also spent a lot of time -- hell -- still am --rebelling against the "femininity" of my 50s era sisters. I cut my hair short in high school and will never forget the day I discovered the buzz machine, which came in handy the minute my hair completely changed its consistency and the bald patches started. Almost bald is my beautiful. I love the way my husband strokes my head and the way people come up to me in the gym and ask if they can rub my head....

I also had to start shaving every morning guy style about five years before meno, so that was no big deal.

Hi CarolH
A little styling gel will help for a bit , also hairspray - bend your bod - head down - spray, fluff and stand up, fiddle with it till it is what you want - should hold for a bit.
XX Oz

Hi Tigerrrrrrr
Luv name - grrrrr
I have just got a fringe - my first for years and my gorgeous hubby and brother - both asked me what I'd done to my face - I looked younger -
der - fringe guys - oh - it makes you look younger. Gota luv these two huh they are sooo quick!
And the girls - my hair gets too curly when short - I look like Annie!! guffaws
xx Oz

hi fkwan
My very good friend Kristen - has her hair cut really short too - about 1/4" - she looks great - saw her wedding photos - looks like her hubby married someone else. She has had this cut for over 10 years now - she says she cant be bothered playing with hair. Her twins luv running their fingers over her newly cut head. Phoebe says she luvs it when i visit cause she (at just 6 mind you) is going to do my hair on my unable to use arms properly days - to plait or ponytail my hair for me - too cute that kid

Not to be rude so dont take that way - but the shaving - poly cystic? Cause my daughter is freaking out out at the two hairs that have started to show (since diagnosed) and was told by her doc more on the way - she says she will wax it though (hopefully not herself - i would worry she would burn herself)
XX Oz

Armadillo
You are not ugly - look at the beautiful avitar you selected - that shows creativity and love. That is what makes a women truly beautiful!!!
XXXOz

Hi Sally
Love the words "flat iron" - we call them hair straighteners here.
The flat iron reminded me when I was 15 , my Mum came into the dining room to find me with the ironing board up , her precious iron on, and me with a sheet of brown paper. I had my hair laid out on the board, paper on top and was trying to flattened my very curly hair - boy did she carry on - told me off cause I have beautiful hair and she had to pay for a perm Downside -
Not long after she took me to the hairdresser to have it cut off and I got a horror haircut - bad mum- with a fringe that was 1/2 long - parents had that much control then. My friends at school laughed at me - but thought the fringe was "cool" idiots - 2 of them went and got their fringe cut really short too - don't know if that was to humour me - cause I felt stupid or they really did like it. At leat the "pretty" girls left us alone - they didnt know whether to laugh or copy.
XX Oz

Hi Skaky
If I were heaps younger, heaps skinner, heaps gorgeous - I would probably get a bob cut ooooo I'd like that
xxOz

Hi chocolate lover
Go the streaks - am thinking seriously of leaving the all over dye job to get whote/grey foils (streaks) thru my hair
xxOz

Hello "godiva" I think that ws her name - the lady on the horse with her hair drapped around her bod - my hubby'd dream
Would luv to get it that long - but Hubby rolls on my hair and noight (started to plait it) and with meno the brush seems to be always full
XXOz

Hi di from Di
I just bought two hats on the weekend - just had to - left my hair out - plonked hat on head - now one makes me look like a 60's chick, and the other a fedora type hat - whoa - I look pretty good with that If I say so myself.
xxOz

Hi again PS's
Wow. Don't you love the way our hubbys also greatly influennce our hair style?
Mine he likes it long - I get it cut short - no comment, trimmed and fringe - comment . But I do what I want - that is shove it at back of head like a bun thingy or pony, if I plait it I look Swiss
Rose's hubby wants something to run his fingers thru when he makes luv to her - so she had it cut - enuf said
Kris's hubby likes it short - but would prefer it so he could actuall seem some
Bee's hubby wants it long so they went half way - she wants him to still look at her
Just as well we are strong minded and do what we want to
XX Oz

Oz, as far as I know, you can't get gray streaks put in. A few years back a stylist told me there is no such thing as a gray dye. What I did for a while was get highlights and low lights--colors close to my original color--interspersed throughout. I only had to go in once every three or four months, instead of once a month. It is a good way to transition to going "natural." Just get fewer and fewer streaks done. I'm lucky in that most of my gray is around my face and it looks like I had it "done."

I figure the gray goes well with my hot flashes, sort of like smoldering coals!

Just my opinion here--I personally do not care for very long or very short hair styles on women who are in their fifties and beyond. By short, I mean shaved or close to it. I also think older women should not have hair longer than shoulder length. I've seen women in their sixties and seventies with long gray hair down their back, and I'm sorry, but it just does not look good to me. I also have a co-worker who's in her sixties and has her head routinely shaved. Whenever she starts to feel it growing out, she goes back for another shave. She wears long dangling earrings and jackets with white shirts. From the back, she looks like a man wearing earrings. It's my opinion that if she'd just let her hair grow a bit, like two inches long and some soft curls, it would be much more attractive and would not require that much work. I like my own haircut (I'm 56). I am fortunate because I only still have a few gray strands, and my hair is mostly brown with red highlights--and natural, believe it or not. I have bangs and the hair is short over my ears, then drops down on my neck a bit, just above my collar. I use hot rollers in the morning after washing it, a couple on top and a couple in back. The total time I spend on styling my hair in the morning is about three minutes.

Well I have to jump in here. I just recently went with a short hairstyle and I love it! It's fun, sassy and you can dress it up or just go casual with it. I too have alot of gray hair on top so rather than go in once a month and get my hair colored I opted to do the lowlights and highlights which like chocolate said, you only have to go in every 3 or 4 months. I think there are some women that look great with really short hairstyles. Jamie Lee Curtis looks wonderful with her short cropped hair. It really is a matter of choice and what makes you feel good.

Hi Greenie
When my hair was short - my face had a fuller look too, and the curls where abundant - or frizz when it rains . I shall have to look on the internet for this site - sounds interesting
xOz

Gramz - love your pic . Jamie Lee is gorgeous
Oz

I think Jamie Lee would look better with longer hair.

I went back to the beginning of this thread. Here is Oz's statement when she began the discussion: "SO my friends - what is the concensus out there...lets see what others think"

Asking what others think would seem to be the same as asking for others' opinions.

I began my post with "Just my opinion here....." So if there is some lesson I should learn, I do not know what it is.

I wear my hair medium length. I think it's all a matter of what compliments one's face the best. I don't believe it has anything at all to do with age.

As for Jamie Lee Curtis I've always thought she was a very attractive woman, but I really don't think her hair does much to enhance her looks. Too mannish looking for my taste. I think she would look prettier and more feminine with some soft curls around her face. Same for Julie Andrews too. What a lovely woman---but that hair. I saw her on Good Morning America a couple of weeks ago and it looked as if she washed her hair, combed it straight back off of her face and let it dry that way.

Hi - bad day ?
Its a play on words - really isnt it.
But I STILL HAVE my hair! So I dont need otheres to decide for me. I think I can do that all by myself nowadays.
Normally consensus (group)is inviting others to chat and start a group discussion - it isnt trying to get others to "fight" or disagree - merely to give their opinion. It has proven to be interesting enuf for others to comment on anyhoo
Miles of Smiles to you
((CSugarGrove))
Oz

I can't believe there are still "rules" out there about what hair length to wear as one gets older! This is so-o a "your-mileage-may-vary situation there CAN'T be any hard and fast rules. Whatever looks great on you right now is what counts IMO. What I personally just hate to see however is someone who has perfectly nice hair who decides that now it's time to go for the"menopause cut"(you know, the one that makes one look non-descript and not in the least celebrating any kind of femininity). There was an old rule around which is just laughable IMO:
"At age 30, you get your older sister's haircut. At age 40, you get your mother's haircut. At age 50 and above, you get your husband's haircut(UGH!, unless he has long gorgeous hair - LOL!)
At age 60, I've let my hair grow to shoulder-length, and celebrate my natural curls(which I've been doing since my mid-20s anyway)I'm likely to let it grow longer as well and stick little braids in it here and there. I color it a rich reddish color which totally suits me way better than unnecessarily aging salt-and-pepper. I don't have the complexion or general look that looks good with grey hair. I'm an artist, so I do what I want with my appearance.
Bottom line, wear what you like as long as it suits you - this goes for clothing and makeup too.

lol!! my mother calls me Godiva sometimes... asks me when i am cutting it off - i always say 'never!' lol...




why? i'm sorry too, but why do you think older women should have no more than shoulder length hair? or is it just this old fashioned mind set that seems to be so common? each time i see an older woman with long hair, i just think 'goodonya!! there's another woman who is not afraid to go with her own choice!'

Was thinking about getting my hair trimmed today. It's shoulder length. Also, really white on the crown and when I tried to go natural a while back I chickened out and colored it. I just go one shade lighter just to blend all of the colors.
Also, does anyone know about the rule of cutting hair when the moon is growing. Is it safe to cut it today? lol

I find a nice baseball hat is the best style for the curly mess on top of my head. No fuss no muss

Seriously .. I have short hair - don't have the time or energy for long hair - I find it stays looking nice for most of the day ... when I had long hair it would look good until I left my house then I looked like Einstein.

Cheers!

Love well cared for long hair on all ages.
It gives a femininity, elegance and softness to
women nothing else can. ( imo)

And I also prefer natural color.
Long gray hair looks stunning on women
if it's well cared for.