My husband has become very uninterested in sex in the last 3 months. I do not suspect an affair, and he tells me this menopause thing is confusing to him. He also said how he noticed how miserable I was for a couple of months with cramps, hot flashes etc and could not imagine adding sexual demands to the list. I wonder if this is common at all with anyone out there. I am not a naive woman and am watchful but I really do think there might be other issues at stake here.

Has he seen a doctor? There are all kinds of physcial reasons why your DH may have decreased desire. Medications, decreased testosterone, stress... I've been married almost 31 years and my DH's libido, which is normally very high does have low periods as well. I think for him, it mostly coincides with extra stess, either from his job or with his parents who have suffered many illnesses. If you can get him to the doctor and rule out any physical problems then I would trust that he is just being sensitve to you. Which puts you in the drivers seat.

A declining testosterone level can effect a man's libido, amongst many other things, like energy and strength loss, sleeplessness and depression. He may need testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) to bring that spring back into his step.

TRT is becoming more widespread here in the USA, along with the use of Viagra, and other anti-ageing therapies for the male baby boomers. More and more men are also having plastic surgery to improve themselves. Looks as if our generation holds youth in high regard, and looks upon getting older as the devil.

Sorry, I got off on a tangent there.

Just read this morning in a medical journal that use of ED drugs can lead to sudden, irreversible hearing loss. Something to consider.

True. This finding was published late in 2007. My husband is convinced that this side effect is actually beneficial to men, because they no longer have to listen to us complain. I hope he was joking.

Provo,

I hope that things stable out for you and your husband. I can only guess that it would be very disconcernting to have your husband suddenly uninterested in sex. You'll find me however, in this same discussion group under, "Sex Machine." My husband...rarely let's up.

Yesterday and this morning I was so ill he had to take me to the doctor. After meeting with the doc and getting a few shots and some well heeded advice the day has improved immensely. (we work together) So just a few moments ago he came over to my office and said..."Feeling better? You're looking better, I hope that means "something" for later." I was like, "Lord, is there no where I can hide that this man does not find me?"

I have hope that one day my husband will say to me, "Nah, not tonight." Or maybe I don't. I suppose we all want what we can't have.

He claims that anyway! LOL

I tell you Viagra can be the bane of our existence. My DH is under much stress, drinks too much, is over weight and on High Blood pressure meds. Actually when I think about it sex might just kill him. I will leave well enough alone..

Hi Girl! I hope you are well. My husband is under tremendous pressure as he is developing ( for the first time) a major project with family owned land. He is also over weight, taking High Blood Pressure Meds, does not exercise and drinks considerably. The only thing is he has always or for the most partt had high BP, been over weight ( not obese but could lose 25 - 30 lbs) and he has ALWAYS drank too much. His sperm count was very low 2 years ago when we were considering fertility treatments. The stress is the work he is involved in but he al3ways had a pretty good sex drive. Or at least talked about it a lot. When I started these menopause symptoms with the flashes every hour I think it freaked him out. he says he doesn't understand this and is not one to research it. It may be a turn off for him. His time is pretty much accounted for so I really do not feel their is an affair. I am watchful but I wish he would tell me what is going on. He was diagnosed with a fatty liver last summer, from the alcohol I would imagine. He will not discuss his health with me. I suspect that he is that way because he does not want to stop drinking. We will see.

What a gem. Your hubby I mean.

My back surgery caused a number of problems for our sex life, Louisa as well as Peri/menopause.

Hubby was most considerate in not being demanding - as much as it was enjoyable at the time - the back played up for days later - I couldnt get up out of bed in the morning cause my back spasms were so bad. Made Hubby feel awful - he thought he caused it. Now with the meno and prolapse I have really stuffed it up. But now he has problems - not sure if the "willy" just won't work or his brain is taking completely over and blockng out the stay up idea
Gotta remember our partners bodies are changing too!!

He has to stay away through the week for work and his mates asked him if I was suspicious of him having an affair while away...after 31 years of marriage - if I cant trust him now, I'll never ever trust him. Even one of my "friends" asked me the same - "maybe thats why he isnt interested in you as much".

No - I have a treasure - I feel it in every part of my body - or he gets to feel it He luvs me being his "hot stuff"
Says its gonna be a great winter
Love him, treasure him...don;t let that seed of doubt - swell up and take over - you don't need to take that on as well as PS

Luv and hugs XXXX
Oz

You are right. I really do not doubt him. I also believe that if it were to happen I would try to find a way to work out the issues. He is a good and decent man and I feel there are far to many divorces out there. For better or worse, right? I want to be one of those couples who are together until our very old age. Thank you and everyone else for their respmses and their interest.
Louisa

Don’t make your self upset because it’s a common situation. Drugs can also help for improve sexual health. I think you need to consult to a physician for getting a better treatment to get over from this condition. Try at http://www.levitrabliss.com

Not to mock science but this is too funny: "Sorry honey, I can't hear you but wanna have sex?"...... LOL..that's rich!!!!!