Greetings,
I am new here and have been reading most of the topics ALL day long! It's been very helpful and given me much hope.
I suffer from an almost non-existent libido. My husband is (in my opinion) way oversexed. He likes to enjoy numerous "encounters" throughout the day. I am 46 years-old and up until two years ago, I could keep up but not anymore. I've was on the Vivelle Dot patch (with poor results), testosterone compounding cream 1% (with disasterous results) and Vagifem (vaginal insertible tablets for vaginal dryness, with equally poor results) It seems as soon as I put on the patch, rubbed in the cream or inserted a tablet I would begin feeling anxious, have numerous panic attacks, dry mouth, nonstop crying, etc. I think I'd rather have the hot flashes and mood swings. But for me and for my husband, it's the lack of desire that seems to be killing things for us. I simply "do not want to." He is so patient, and tries coaxing me, stroking me, massaging me, etc but nothing works. I simply want to crawl under the covers, go to sleep and not be bothered.
I've not returned to my doctor due to the disastrous results with the hormones and go through another round of "new and different things to try." The last time was almost traumatizing. I just don't know where else to turn. I want to be energetic again, not just in the bedroom but in life too. This menopause thing is kicking my butt!!
Full Version: Really Struggling
When I was in midst of peri (I'm really at the end), I had NO sex drive whatsoever. The thought of sex or looking at a man's private parts made me cringe. Now that I'm 9 months out from my last period and my libido has come back in full force. I never took any supplments during my no libido phase, I just weathered the storm. I think there are many women here who've experienced an increase with their sex drive once the hormones started to simmer down.
I'm 45, by the way...
I'm 45, by the way...
Bless your heart!It sounds like you need a little break from sex.I'm serious,just give yourself some time,or you may end up resenting your husband.If it were me I would go back the dr and just tell them the truth,what they gave you is making things worse.It may take some different things but don't give up.GODbless.
Hi Krissy,
Hang in there as Im sure that things will improve for you.
Take time out for yourself to relax it might help.
Maybe you need to change Doctors since nothing you have tried is working for you.
Take care. From Deb
Hang in there as Im sure that things will improve for you.
Take time out for yourself to relax it might help.
Maybe you need to change Doctors since nothing you have tried is working for you.
Take care. From Deb
Are there anytimes that your libido is present?
I know for me it comes and goes ... so my hubby and I are at least aware of when it could be a good time, and when he/we should not even go there - all sounds too planned but at least I don't end up resenting him, and he doesn't end up completely frustrated.
When this all started for me I was so confused, I felt absolutely nothing - which was all I could think about and the poor man just kept trying - and the only thing I could focus on was "what is wrong with me, what the heck is going on - I FEEL NOTHING". Once I talked to him about it we decided to work together at it by me being open as to where I am at any given point in my cycle. We keep a journal (which is weird - I know but it helps) so are aware of when things may be favourable or when he should go on the treadmill and take a cold shower
All the best
TM
I know for me it comes and goes ... so my hubby and I are at least aware of when it could be a good time, and when he/we should not even go there - all sounds too planned but at least I don't end up resenting him, and he doesn't end up completely frustrated.
When this all started for me I was so confused, I felt absolutely nothing - which was all I could think about and the poor man just kept trying - and the only thing I could focus on was "what is wrong with me, what the heck is going on - I FEEL NOTHING". Once I talked to him about it we decided to work together at it by me being open as to where I am at any given point in my cycle. We keep a journal (which is weird - I know but it helps) so are aware of when things may be favourable or when he should go on the treadmill and take a cold shower
All the best
TM
Greetings,
I am new here and have been reading most of the topics ALL day long! It's been very helpful and given me much hope.
I suffer from an almost non-existent libido. My husband is (in my opinion) way oversexed. He likes to enjoy numerous "encounters" throughout the day. I am 46 years-old and up until two years ago, I could keep up but not anymore. I've was on the Vivelle Dot patch (with poor results), testosterone compounding cream 1% (with disasterous results) and Vagifem (vaginal insertible tablets for vaginal dryness, with equally poor results) It seems as soon as I put on the patch, rubbed in the cream or inserted a tablet I would begin feeling anxious, have numerous panic attacks, dry mouth, nonstop crying, etc. I think I'd rather have the hot flashes and mood swings. But for me and for my husband, it's the lack of desire that seems to be killing things for us. I simply "do not want to." He is so patient, and tries coaxing me, stroking me, massaging me, etc but nothing works. I simply want to crawl under the covers, go to sleep and not be bothered.
I've not returned to my doctor due to the disastrous results with the hormones and go through another round of "new and different things to try." The last time was almost traumatizing. I just don't know where else to turn. I want to be energetic again, not just in the bedroom but in life too. This menopause thing is kicking my butt!!
I have the same problem. Mine got worse about two years ago. We went one whole year w/no sex. I was angry at him most of the time too b/c of things that just irked me. This peri stage is the pits and it has affected my relationship with my husband and my son. But now I'm starting to get a bit better in the mood department and I have let go of the past and we are getting a long much better. But I have no desire at all. We've had a few encounters but I felt nothing. I used all the bells and whistles and still nada. He tries and keeps telling me how in love with me his is, and I feel nothing. But I am hoping that it will come back as another poster here said her libido came back when hormones settled down.
I'm just trying to get through it day by day. I take really good care of myself but have yet to try hormones. I am going to give the natural ones a try soon to see if it helps my libido and body aches, but I'm only giving them a try for a month or two and if I feel worse I'm just going au naturel until t his ends.
So just remember there are many of us who are experiencing the same as you. I used to be wild and the aggressor in our relationship a lot of the time and now I feel like a pre-teen does, "boys, yuck!" It's so very weird and sad really.
I read today that 62% of women are having sex on their lunch hour!! I was like, "That percentage is way high, that and what woman in her right mind would give up food for sex?"
I spoke with my doctor today who told me to cut the Vivelle Dot patch in half and start back on it but leave everything else alone until I got my dosage right. I'm wary, but I'm going to give it a go. I cannot imagine my husband being willing to NOT have sex for a year. He will barely concede the days I'm on my cycle.
I used to be vivacious and out-of-control where sex was concerned, now there are days when I'm like..."No way on this earth!!" It ebbs and flows like most things hormonal. Some days at work, all I can think about is getting home and getting into bed with hubby and other days...Nope, it ain't happenin! Doc says once the hormones are right...things will change for me in that department but I dunno...Last time I tried the hormones she prescribed me I sobbed through sex. Quite the turn off...
I spoke with my doctor today who told me to cut the Vivelle Dot patch in half and start back on it but leave everything else alone until I got my dosage right. I'm wary, but I'm going to give it a go. I cannot imagine my husband being willing to NOT have sex for a year. He will barely concede the days I'm on my cycle.
I used to be vivacious and out-of-control where sex was concerned, now there are days when I'm like..."No way on this earth!!" It ebbs and flows like most things hormonal. Some days at work, all I can think about is getting home and getting into bed with hubby and other days...Nope, it ain't happenin! Doc says once the hormones are right...things will change for me in that department but I dunno...Last time I tried the hormones she prescribed me I sobbed through sex. Quite the turn off...
QUOTE (corky21 @ Apr 6 2008, 07:58 AM) 
Greetings,
I am new here and have been reading most of the topics ALL day long! It's been very helpful and given me much hope.
I suffer from an almost non-existent libido. My husband is (in my opinion) way oversexed. He likes to enjoy numerous "encounters" throughout the day. I am 46 years-old and up until two years ago, I could keep up but not anymore. I've was on the Vivelle Dot patch (with poor results), testosterone compounding cream 1% (with disasterous results) and Vagifem (vaginal insertible tablets for vaginal dryness, with equally poor results) It seems as soon as I put on the patch, rubbed in the cream or inserted a tablet I would begin feeling anxious, have numerous panic attacks, dry mouth, nonstop crying, etc. I think I'd rather have the hot flashes and mood swings. But for me and for my husband, it's the lack of desire that seems to be killing things for us. I simply "do not want to." He is so patient, and tries coaxing me, stroking me, massaging me, etc but nothing works. I simply want to crawl under the covers, go to sleep and not be bothered.
I've not returned to my doctor due to the disastrous results with the hormones and go through another round of "new and different things to try." The last time was almost traumatizing. I just don't know where else to turn. I want to be energetic again, not just in the bedroom but in life too. This menopause thing is kicking my butt!!
I have the same problem. Mine got worse about two years ago. We went one whole year w/no sex. I was angry at him most of the time too b/c of things that just irked me. This peri stage is the pits and it has affected my relationship with my husband and my son. But now I'm starting to get a bit better in the mood department and I have let go of the past and we are getting a long much better. But I have no desire at all. We've had a few encounters but I felt nothing. I used all the bells and whistles and still nada. He tries and keeps telling me how in love with me his is, and I feel nothing. But I am hoping that it will come back as another poster here said her libido came back when hormones settled down.
I'm just trying to get through it day by day. I take really good care of myself but have yet to try hormones. I am going to give the natural ones a try soon to see if it helps my libido and body aches, but I'm only giving them a try for a month or two and if I feel worse I'm just going au naturel until t his ends.
So just remember there are many of us who are experiencing the same as you. I used to be wild and the aggressor in our relationship a lot of the time and now I feel like a pre-teen does, "boys, yuck!" It's so very weird and sad really.
I am new here and have been reading most of the topics ALL day long! It's been very helpful and given me much hope.
I suffer from an almost non-existent libido. My husband is (in my opinion) way oversexed. He likes to enjoy numerous "encounters" throughout the day. I am 46 years-old and up until two years ago, I could keep up but not anymore. I've was on the Vivelle Dot patch (with poor results), testosterone compounding cream 1% (with disasterous results) and Vagifem (vaginal insertible tablets for vaginal dryness, with equally poor results) It seems as soon as I put on the patch, rubbed in the cream or inserted a tablet I would begin feeling anxious, have numerous panic attacks, dry mouth, nonstop crying, etc. I think I'd rather have the hot flashes and mood swings. But for me and for my husband, it's the lack of desire that seems to be killing things for us. I simply "do not want to." He is so patient, and tries coaxing me, stroking me, massaging me, etc but nothing works. I simply want to crawl under the covers, go to sleep and not be bothered.
I've not returned to my doctor due to the disastrous results with the hormones and go through another round of "new and different things to try." The last time was almost traumatizing. I just don't know where else to turn. I want to be energetic again, not just in the bedroom but in life too. This menopause thing is kicking my butt!!
I have the same problem. Mine got worse about two years ago. We went one whole year w/no sex. I was angry at him most of the time too b/c of things that just irked me. This peri stage is the pits and it has affected my relationship with my husband and my son. But now I'm starting to get a bit better in the mood department and I have let go of the past and we are getting a long much better. But I have no desire at all. We've had a few encounters but I felt nothing. I used all the bells and whistles and still nada. He tries and keeps telling me how in love with me his is, and I feel nothing. But I am hoping that it will come back as another poster here said her libido came back when hormones settled down.
I'm just trying to get through it day by day. I take really good care of myself but have yet to try hormones. I am going to give the natural ones a try soon to see if it helps my libido and body aches, but I'm only giving them a try for a month or two and if I feel worse I'm just going au naturel until t his ends.
So just remember there are many of us who are experiencing the same as you. I used to be wild and the aggressor in our relationship a lot of the time and now I feel like a pre-teen does, "boys, yuck!" It's so very weird and sad really.
I am reading all of this and thinking some of this is going to help me find the right treatment for me. I had a partial hysterectomy at 33, I am now 44 and no longer have any sexual desire...talk about dead libido. I have never heard of the pellets...do they do them in Canada and how do you convince your doctor that you need tham?
Getting the pellets is not as simple as convincing your doctor that you need them. I've had the pellets for 4 years. It takes a doctor trained in bioidentical hormones and pellets. So, if your doctor does not do the pellets, chances are they won't just do them for you. College Pharmacy is one compounding pharmace that makes the pellets. I do have a list of US doctors, but not Canada. You might contact them directly.
Here is another webiste I found. I have no idea if any of these doctors do pellets, but it's a place to start.
http://pureageless.com/doctors-canada
njwhite
Here is another webiste I found. I have no idea if any of these doctors do pellets, but it's a place to start.
http://pureageless.com/doctors-canada
njwhite
I am replying to this because by a funny coincidence a thryoid problem actually helped (for as long as I took it) my libido and it REALLY helped if you know what I mean...in my case my FT3 was a bit low so I asked my thryoid doctor for some T3 (I forgot the medine name but you can find out)....now it was fantastic!
I DO NOT SUGGEST that you take T3 if you do not have a low FT3 value...only to suggest to research it, talk to your doctor and see if you might be low....FT4 converts to FT3 so usualy in low thyroid problems doctors first prescribe synthroid wich is the FT4 and do not usually presecribe (or even agree) with prescribing F3...but some doctors recognize that there are some folks who do not convert the 4 to the 3 very well and can benefit from the 3....just a thought if you might be dealing with a thryoid problem...Joan
I DO NOT SUGGEST that you take T3 if you do not have a low FT3 value...only to suggest to research it, talk to your doctor and see if you might be low....FT4 converts to FT3 so usualy in low thyroid problems doctors first prescribe synthroid wich is the FT4 and do not usually presecribe (or even agree) with prescribing F3...but some doctors recognize that there are some folks who do not convert the 4 to the 3 very well and can benefit from the 3....just a thought if you might be dealing with a thryoid problem...Joan
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