Hi Everyone,

This one is a new experience for me. I usually have PMS a week before my period ... it includes the usual suspects of RAGE, major impatience, bloating, breast soreness and all that good stuff.

So yesterday ... I just flipped out on my boss and my hubby and was so frustrated, then I was so weepy .... I generally felt like crap. I checked my calendar and I am no where near my usual PMS time of my cycle.

So what is this? Anyone else get all out of sorts at different times? I mean, I was irate .... and when I realized how I was acting I got so upset I was inconsolable.

This is fun stuff

TM

I am so unpredictable I never know which end is up.

I never had PMS symptoms in my younger or even middle years. Now at almost 56, I can be a raving lunatic. If I get frustrated, I curse under my breath like a drunken sailor. Tears will roll down my face for no apparent reason. The smallest things set me off in directions I have never gone before.

I am like a bundle of nerve endings masquerading as a human.

your description made me smile. yep. been there, done that.

Ya, I think I know how you feel. I'm new here and even this board is making me crazy because everyone seems to be married with children. Why is this so? There are so many women on their own out there who don't have kids also going through this $%#@ menopausal madness, where are their voices? Sorry. And yes, I know, I know. But yeah, this is happening to me of recent times where i feel crazy and angry a lot of the time - yeah, and disappointing love life and lack of children makes me even madder I used to be such a nice person - but sometimes now i look back and wish I hadn't been so nice because i got walked on by men and women alike, and now that I feel so crazy I suppose people think, "No wonder she's alone"!#$%$@$%& if you know what i mean. But sometimes I think maybe it's not hormones, maybe it's actually how i really feel and just too tired to suppress it all the time. i did spend some time the other day with a friend's 23 year old daughter and she was pretty snappy. She's definitely not menopausal! Just sick of a few things in her life! So, for me anyway, I think i'll own these heavy duty embarassing and unattractive emotions because i think, hormone or no hormones, they belong to me!
hope you're feeling better!

HI TM,
This is in another name for perimenopause: PMS THAT NEVER ENDS! I have been there and done this. Xanax is my best friend, it stopped me from flip out on ppl while driving and wanting to murder my manager, my husband, and ppl in my local gym among doing other inhumane and unlawful things....
I am not suggesting you use Xanax, but there are other things to control autonomic system over stimulation, that is caused by hourly and daily hormonal swings.This is what in general matters, most issues are linked to HAP axis and once you can control it, it makes the change easier. Theer are days still as you want to do all this things regardless, but knowing you have remedy, makes it still doable.
HTH and good luck.

I am on day 57 since my last period. I have had PMS pretty much for the last 64 days. I will have the occasional day where the bloat and breast soreness will go away, as if the period came and went, then right back to major mood swings. Join the club. It is so hard biting ones tongue and not blowing up at the wrong people! My poor dogs and cats take the brunt of my craziness.

So glad to know I'm not alone...Last period was 11 February x 11 days and since then has been one long bloated sore ragefest.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

f

I don't know if I am going thru the before stages of menapause yet but I have the worst temper and just a down right bad attitude, and yes for no apparent reason I will just break down and cry. My boyfriend does not understand at all......he just thinks he has done something wrong. I wish I could explain this to him or even myself!!!!

Always on edge

Always on edge-hormones! Please don't blame yourself ("a bad attitude"). The physical and the emotional are just not in sync.

Welcome to PS. I hope to see you around often.

Smiles,
Marcy

Hi everyone -- I'm new here, and really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences. I had a weird bout of rage today that precipitated me joining the board -- it is kind of horrifying and funny all at the same time. Here's the quick story:

Late in the afternoon I made a quick trip in the car -- I wasn't even a mile from home, waiting at a stop light to cross a highway. I was first in line at the red light, waiting to go straight, and a young man pulled up behind me and started laying on his horn, flipping me off, gesturing, etc. Apparently he thought it was a right turn only lane. Normally when people are wacky in traffic I just wave and turn up my radio. Instead, I got out of my car, walked right over to his window and explained to him that the lane was clearly marked. He went insane, because I was absolutely angry, but also dead calm and right in his face in the window. He turned beet red, used the f word about 8 times (as both an adjective and a verb). I think what made him so mad is that I wasn't the least bit intimidated by his bad boy behavior (guessing he was about 24 yrs. old).

When he threatened to ram my car I said, "Go ahead!" Then he threatened to smash my (profanity deleted) face in, I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I'd like to see you try -- get out of the car now!" He didn't (thank God), I got back in my car, the light finally turned green (very long light), and I drove off. The weird thing is, even though my heart was definitely pumping, I didn't feel bad. As in, I didn't feel particularly guilty or ashamed at my behavior -- I mean, this is not normal behavior for me! The only thing I really worried about was that I really hoped none of the other people in traffic who witnessed this ridiculous scene were not my neighbors...

OK, so admitting the obvious: 1) it is generally not safe to aggravate crazy young men, and I am certainly not advocating being aggressive or putting oneself in a dangerous situation. 2) it's just not safe for others for you to get out of your car when you should be in it with your seat belt on paying attention. 3) Turn the other cheek, live and let live, give better than you get, etc., etc., etc...

The wave of anger left almost as quickly as it came on. As it turns out, I couldn't find the place I was looking for, drove home, didn't say a peep about it to my husband, and just sat quietly thinking it over. After it passed, it felt really, really hormonal. Kind of like crazed teenager feelings. I noticed I had a lot of anger, but felt pretty calm about being angry, if that makes any sense. I remembered how hard menopause had been for my mother, and had a lot of compassion for her. And then I decided to find my own path, and seek out some community.

So here I am-- presenting myself as a completely crazy person. Thanks for listening! I'm going to try to learn to take some constructive action so I don't make any more public scenes...

Yep!! I used to get PMS a week before my period (the good old days). Then I noticed it was starting 2 weeks before my period. NOW,for the past few months I have PMS all month long! I am a raging hormone!! My poor poor little girl, she is being robbed of her mother! I do take xanax for anxiety and panic attacks, but if I take it when I'm not feeling the anxiety or in the midst of a panic attack, it just knocks me on my butt, so I don't want to do that. I think it's time to go back on the prozac or start homrones or something. I can't live this way, I'm 44 years old and have a little girl to love and raise all by myself. You are not alone. This is just horrible!

I also started having PMS a week before, then it went to 2 weeks, then to 3, then to who knows when I'll lose it.

I suffered with this rage for a few years now and I have an 8 year old son. He has seen my wrath so many times and he gets so frustrated now too and angry when life doesn't go his way. I feel I've done this to him b/c of my problems. However, I've always gone to him an apologized if I was out of line for no reason and when I'm feeling okay, I hug him and spend a lot of time with him, so hopefully he'll turn out okay.

I did find some help to control my moods better. I take cohosh/vitex and some rhodiola and when I'm feeling really frazzled, I take Seredyn or a Happy Camper to calm me down. I also take a lot of vitamins/minerals/oils and flaxseeds and eat a good diet. I still lose it, but not as much. I only wish I found these things a few years ago when he was a bit younger and hearing my rages, but at least I'm getting a bit better now.

hello 'nonamesleft'. i am new to the board and came right to these threads and your post was like looking at me...it used to be just a couple days b4 period and now like all the time... and i too have a little girl am raising on my own and am 44yrs old. It makes me understand sometimes now why having a child is better in the 20's... and not having this crap to try to deal with also and not take out on a child that has no clue. I have begun making some appointments with drs to get things looked at since b4 they really were not looking at it as 'perimenopause' or the like, just 'female' stuff. so now its time to be 'patient' to figure this out and i don't have the patience in me... thats what bites for me. good tho to have found this website and read what others are experiencing. don't feel so along out here.

I know, if it wasn't for my poor little girl who I feel so bad for that has to feel the wrath of this perimenopause sometimes, I think I would be better able to deal with it and suffer through it. I mean, who cares if I rage to myself, or lose patience with strangers, well you know what I mean. But my daughter is being robbed and that is unbearable to me. On top of all of these symptoms and issues, I have major GUILT! UGH!! I do my best though, I save up what little energy I do have and spend it all on her. Take her to all of her extracurricular activities and never miss a recital, a tae kwon do testing, etc. I volunteer at her school when I can and always try to make sure she is happy. She has friends over, sleepovers, etc. Me, I could give to craps about, but then I realize that it's still not fair to her, she deserves a happy mother. I don't know. On top of it all, I need to lose major weight and have no desire, motivation or energy to do it. I never lost my pregnancy 80lbs from 7 years ago, this was due to many factors. I even had a lap band installed 2 years ago and initally lost 30 lbs and have gained it all back, plus. Doesn't work for me! I know the weight issue weighs on my moods alot too, but I don't have it in me to get back to my size 6 before child body and life.

Hello again,

I had the weight thing too. I gained 52lbs when I was pregnant and even though I lost about 40 after the pregnancy, I gained it all back after September 11th b/c I suffered post traumatic stress and didn't realize it. I was running from crashing buildings, it was just awful and I lost people I worked with, etc. Then I resigned my job of 20 years thinking I should be home safe with my 3 year old and I guess I was depressed then b/c I had no friends or support and I was lonely. ANyway, I finally went to weight watchers last year and I took off 1lb a week and never felt deprived. I lost all the weight and I'm maintaining and still going to meetings. Try it and stick with it. Once the weight comes off you will feel better.

i'm married, but no children..

i heard someone say that meno is worse for those who have never had children, i must say, sometimes i wonder...

as for PMS all month long.. YES!!!! that's what meno has been like for me... not so bad now, i'm just one year post.. well, not as bad as it was anyway...

Hi. I lived in NYC at the time of 9/11 too. I heard the second plane crash into the building from my apt. I was a new single mom, my daughter turned 2 months old that day. I was on maternity leave from my job in Manhattan. I'm so sorry about your losses. I too lost people I knew, but luckily no one close, and I have many firefighter friends, so I don't know how I got so lucky. After that, the happiest time in my life turned into the worst, starting with that and then 3 months later my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was just back to work, trying to be a single mom to an infant and trying to find a cure for cancer, also dealing with the who aftermath of 9/11. Amazing, how life turns upside down so quickly,huh? I was finally completely happy and then all hell broke loose. I know compared to others tragedies at the time I was still fortunate, but I feel as if I have post traumatic stress as well. When my daughter turned 1-1/2 I moved to florida with my Dad. Left all my friends, my job, my life. My dad past away a year later. I can't seem to get over his death. He was my rock. I know all this contributed to my failure to lose the "baby weight". Which sounds so ridiculous to say 7 years later. LOL. I know I can do weight watchers, but doubt I will stick to it. I mean, I had bariatric surgery for god's sake and that didn't work. I also did Nutrisystem before that and lost alot of weight and gained it all back. it's just crazy. I too dropped 30lbs right after giving birth and was on my way back to my old self, then just like you, BAM. Thanks for your words or encouragement. Thinking about it now, maybe I will go back to weight watchers. I wish you the best.

I believe what you've gone through is depression and the post traumatic stress and all that and then changing hormones reeks havoc on us. I also suffered another tragedy around the same time. My father suffered a brain injury and was in intensive care at the time of 9/11 w/little hope (he did pull through though) then six months later at 20 weeks pregnant I lost my son due to complications so those three things spiraled me too and then a year later I left my job of 20 years and like I said, new life, no friends, etc. etc. and the weight just creeped on and stayed there. I never realized all that time I was going through horrible depressing things and I was gaining and holding on to weight b/c of that. So, you need to get your head well and really try the weight watchers and go to the meetings. If I can take all that weight off after 7 years, you can too. IM me any time you need encouragement.

Colleen

'nonamesleft'
thanks for responding on the board. i've put alot into making sure my daughter is gonna be okay but these emotional ups and downs have about driven me beserk...and i hope haven't made a lasting impression on my girl. i talked with her yesterday...tried to explain that a woman older like me goes thru 'chemical' changes in the body...hard to explain.. but she seemed to comprehend a bit. Told her i wasn't able to manage on my own and it wasn't acceptable for me to take it out on her.. so i was going to see the dr to have tests run...she was glad to know it wasn't 'her fault'.

Me too, the pounds gained while pregnant i didn't get off in the first few years and then tried and got down some but in the last 2 years pushed right back up to 190+....so its not helping to have the extra weight. i'd try this and that to exercise, hike, etc but its like it doesn't want to budge and like a spare tire on the mid-section.

thankfully my chiropractor suggested i get "The Wisdom of Menopause" by Christiane Northrup and suggested i may be in peri-menopause... just from the things she knows about my health. i am truly thankful for her. Last friday i called and got an apptmt to see a dr that does the saliva tests for hormones and then today got to see my regular dr and he took info and had blood drawn... so will see what comes back from that. then he told me to get the book my chiropractor told me abou t and "You, staying Young" by Roizen & Oz. So I have some reading to do in books and on this board to educate myself on better managing what is going on in my body, mind and such!

I read the Northrop book and it's great. Also I read the Dr. Oz books and also a very good read. I've been following most of their recommendations now for about a year. Another good one is "It's your ovaries, Stupid" or something like that by a Dr.Vliet.

As long as you keep talking to your daughter and apologizing when you lose it for no reason, etc. I think it will be okay. I do that with my son and I know he loves me more than anything. He is always coming for hugs and he wants me to be silly with him. He also sneaks in to sleep with me.

You will get through this. It's awful feeling like this but try not to dwell on it and take steps to eat right, exercise, take the right vitamins/minerals, de-stress, do fun things, let things go (all in the books by the way) and you will be in charge of it.

Colleen

Hi LinR,

I'm glad you went to see your dr.s' I need to make another appointment and GO this time! I keep cancelling. Too tired to even get there. I am going to go out tomorrow and pick up those books you mentioned. Thanks for posting the titles. How old is your little girl by the way? Mine is 6. She'll be 7 in July.

thanks for the encouragement Colleen and good to hear that the books are worthwhile :-) i just looked up the book you mentioned... and yes, back about 10 years i had endometriosis...and cyst on ovary... luckily found good dr and she did a lap...so that helped at the time. prior to it, i could not keep weight on...was like a walking stick and very unhealthy. tho, i wouldn't mind being a little closer to that weight now


Nonamesleft - my daughter just turned 8 in January. I hope you make and keep the appointment. I know about the tiredness... i'd like to just lay down now but keep going so i sleep better at night versus waking up.

today was a pretty good day except for some dizzyness, weepies and lack of concentration. so am glad for the reprieve from the rant/rave days i was having.

back to some reading here before i settle in.

[quote name='fkwan' date='Apr 16 2008, 10:09 AM' post='218908']
So glad to know I'm not alone...Last period was 11 February x 11 days and since then has been one long bloated sore ragefest.


Bloated rage Fest!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perfect!!

Thats exactly what I told my daugher.


I said "Honey, you know how you get terrible pms for a week before your period but then when you get
your period you feel normal again? Well, try having it (PMS) for a few years straight"

She looked at me with eyes as wide as pancakes.

I said "yup. It's TERRIBLE."

And she goes "Thanks for the warning mom",

Ha! You go girl! Luckily he wasn't some foaming maniac, although he could well have had a gun what with the insane gun laws you people have in America, however bloody good on ya (as we say here in Oz). I'll bet when you think back on it, you actually feel pretty good about what you did. He's probably never been faced up before and maybe learnt a lesson. When I think back on incidents where I was too scared to react, I start to obsess about what I COULD have said/done- so you've got one less thing to obsess about when you fully hit MP and your brain hones in on bizarre incidents from the past. All the best.

i hear ya i have been angry alot, the other day i was mad at hubby and went in bedroom and started knocking things off the dressers etc. that was very childish reminded me of the good old day when i had anger. I am barely peri and 50 years old, My periods are starting to get irregular a few days early or late i am so hoping for this to be over soon. Now i went from anxiety/depression to anger, anyone and everyone getting on my nerves lately. this sux i wish you the best i guess we have to take chill pills lol

my periods are ALL over the place again....had a couple of periods like 17 days apart.......now i'ts been like 37 days since i had one and i feel SO irritated and can't stand to be around anyone(especially myself)....how do we repair the damage we do when we have these mood swings and rage?I said "f**k you to a co-worker last week and just the other day i called her a whiny little *itch....i tried to apologize but ended up yelling at her...i am going to end up getting fired if i don't control my emotions....how do i un-do what i've done?

It is horrible isn't it! I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time... I wonder how long that stage lasts...heavy sigh... Hope you're feeling better soon!

TJ :

I hope this stage passes soon.....it's so UNLIKE me to say anything mean to co-workers at all.....can't believe i resorted to name calling...

Wow, I feel like you do in a lot of ways. Sort of glad that I don't have to hide all the emotions and anger. At least it gets out. I am sick of keeping it in. I would never tell people how I feel, now, sometimes, I go too far. Balance would be nice but I'm not there. I feel angry lots too. Just looking for the next thing so I can get mad. It's a relief to hear you say that hormones or not, the emotions are your's. I keep looking for answers but really don't think there are any.
It's like all the feeling that were stuffed from the past have no where to go but out. I am married, for 30 years, no children. Our marriage wasn't great for the first half; now, it's good. Not perfect. My husband is very compassionate and I'm very grateful. He still pushes my buttons at times. I deal with it better on the whole; I used to feel he was the enemy in ways. now, I don't. I have been dealing with lots of feeling these past 10 years; before that, I was numb and emotionally unconscious. Now, it's different. I have let people walk all over me; not anymore. I've had enough; I still fall into the trap, but realize it, get mad and learn from it; it's so painful to see how I let myself be treated but there is a relief that I don't have to be. Hard but worth it. Your message makes me feel better in a way; I don't have to feel like there's something wrong with me,

Take Care,

Jan

Sad, isn't it, when we call someone names and then feel bad and amazed. I too am in the same boat. I told my dad to f off. he pushed and pushed and was so mean; brought up feelings from the past. Just wish I had said something other than that. Glad I said something but would have preferred a different way.

I guess, don't beat up on yourself; I do, afterwards but after reading your message, I feel relief but sad. Because it's not how we want to feel. It's like it just comes out; still surprises me at times. I know I'm responsible for saying it but it feels so unreal; like a nightmare in a way. Really scares me at how mean I am.

May I suggest taking some calmative, whatever it is: herbs, teas, valeriane, and if this does not help, BZD and/or ADs, it helps bit time.
Xanax saved my life, my job, and my marriage, I felt like running ppl with my car multiple times, telling my boss off, and in general looking for someone to murder, I swear. My period use to be all over the place too, at one point, every 2 weeks, like clockwork, then it stopped, now it is pretty much regular.
I also learned to control my anger and rage, and crying spells, it takes time, Moonlight and you will make it, the worst part was 47-49, now it is just "oh, must be hormones again".
Perimenopause is indeed PMS that never ends, this is the definition, as hormones fluctuate hourly.
I hope you find your way to control the mental part, just try to do your best, and not let your emotions ruin your life.
Good luck to you and all PS sisters.
I.

Yep...my fiance has to keep asking if everything is "ok" with us when I get like this. I have to re-assure him that is is and it aggrivates me,Give me a break. He asks what is wrong...."Didnt I already tell you I have PMS today--what else do you think it is????" AAAARRRRGGGGGHHH! I've told him off before and told him time and time again that it is NOT "us" its ME. They just do not get it.
So now my periods are becoming irregular and Im getting PMS every single day---just what I needed. I take care of children in my home--7 of them and sometimes --most of the time I become noise intollerant. Their voices just go thru me at times---I am taking Advil round the clock on these days. I wil warn my fiance when I am like this and he knows I may not even be able to handle the people talking on the tv...I go away where there is no noise.

Yep, going through the PMS stage that now begins 7 days after my period starts....my body has turned on me in ways I never though imaginable....sore breast for 3 weeks, cycles all over the place and cramps so awful one month, that I almost performed a hysterectomy on myself in the middle of the night !!!!!!!

And now hubbie has a bent nose because if it's not the period holding him at bay, it's the breasts that feel like two sore rocks protruding from my chest!!!! I told him to go file a complaint with the menopause gods!!!

So I've moved up a notch in my journey through perimenopause with the haywire periods and pms to the tenth power....

I was chatting with some friends about it recently (ages 52, 50 and 49) and one told me menopause can run 5-10 years AFTER your period starts fluctuating....tell me it aint so sisters, tell me it aint so

Life better get reallllll good after this is over!!!!!!

Peace,
Momz