I am feeling so fed up of all this. I am only 43, my sister is 8 years older and is still not through meno yet - I likely have at least 10 more years to go of this. I just feel like crying - it so wears you down! It is endless. I have 2 young kids and a life out there to get on with. I have an very elderly mother that needs my time and energy too. I don't have time for peri!!!!

Over the last 5 years I have developed:

frequent migraines several times a week,
horrid, horrid PVC palps - all day & everyday for a year,
panic attacks,
general anxiety & horrible morning jitters,
health anxiety,
sleep problems,
tendon issues: tennis elbow (both elbows) & achilles tendonitis (both ankles) within a year,
painful gastritis (stomach pain),
itchy hives from new food allergies that last 6-8 weeks at a go,
various new allergic contact rashes from underwear and plants

I had none of this before peri. Now it seems that I have developed Interstitial cystitus and Pelvic Floor pain to add to the list.

Each thing that comes up seems to hit me hard when it arrives. Some I have learned to deal with, some have thankfully reduced in intensity for now, others are still around. It is all so hard. When I think that I have learned to cope with one thing, another is just round the corner. Sorry to whine folks, but I am feeling so miserable today

(((((((((squiggle))))))))))))))

I know how you feel as I sit here feeling like busting out in tears wondering if I am ever going to feel well.....what is that like. I have a lot of what you listed too....I pray to get through this soon as it's been going on 4 years now.

Hugs,
Karen

Aw Squiggle, I feel your pain.

I have had one thing after another also. And my first "thing" was such a doozie it knocked me right off my feet.

I so empathize with how you feel. If it's not one thing it's another. I wish I had a magic answer for you. But all I can do is send cyber-hugs ((())) and smiles and tell you that it will get better. Eventually. Promise. In the meantime, hang in. You have so many friends here who care about you. Try to take comfort in that.

Best,
Marcy

Hugs for you Squiggle. I used to be the same, just one thing after another. I've not eaten shellfish for years because of the reaction I started having during perimeno. And everyone wants a piece of you while you feel so rotten.

I asked hubby if he'd got really fed up of me during those horrible years and he said yes, he didn't feel like I loved him or took notice of him. Thanks!

Squiggle: I feel for you. You have a lot of physical symptoms to deal with; and interstial cystis is a b**** of a disease. Does your primary care doc or gynceologist know you are dealing with all this pain? I'm just wondering if there isn't something they could give you to knock a few items off that list.

I'm 13 months now no period and I have to tell you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Despite crushing emotional stress, a lot of my physical symptoms have vanished. I don't have any more hot flashes or night sweats. Body aches are less, mood swings less frequent (no...I take that back...there as bad as ever--I just try to tell myself it's not that bad!). I still get pelvic pain, but I'm just hoping it's my ovaries making their last gasp.

This will get better hon...hang in there...we're all here for you.

Your meno pal for life (MPFL

robin

squigs, big big hug coming your way.


Have a good whine and get it all out. Have a great big whine that's what I say. I wish I could say hold on I'm coming over to put the kettle on, bring you something delish to eat and give you a break. I've got to know you a bit over the past twelve months. I'm 47 and your life now is similar to mine in my early forties. Dashing around at breakneck speed, dealing with everything that everbody else needed, going to work, young children, manning the fort, feeding the troups, family crises, family illnesses etc etc you know. Come to think of it, it had been like it since the children were born and looking back it was when peri kicked that my body was just not able to keep up with that kind of lifestyle.

Hang in there. Is there anyway you can get some extra help to relieve some of the stress and pressure. Even in the short term for a few weeks. A cleaner maybe? Even 2 or 3 hours help a week can make a big difference to where you can then direct your time and attention. I ploughed on and felt like poo a few years ago and it wasn't until I was floored with exhaustion that I finally got a cleaner. Duh! Me stupid!! Big time.

Big hugs squiggley

pm me anytime

robin

Thank you everyone for being so sweet and being there when I needed you!

I've been feeling pretty miserable most of the day. Does anyone ever get that feeling like we are being tested here? How much can we take before we break?

It's just one thing after another, isn't it. You get a symptom, you come to terms with it eventually, you finally find a way of coping with it, you pick yourself up, brush yourself down and then BANG! something else hits you. It's like Peri is gradually working it's way round my body - there will soon be no types of specialist that I haven't seen!!!

Does anyone wish they had married a doctor and then would have one on hand all the time?

Thank you for all the cyberhugs, smiles and comforting words

Karen and Marcy - I'm so sorry you are suffering too, but there is a small comfort for us in having company in this.

Alice - I totally agree - I am nervous to eat any of the suspect foods that caused my hives, but I will need to one day to rule certain things out. I've had it twice now - once from a buffet (I suspect chicken satay in sweet chilli sauce) and another time from a Thai restaurant. Well with this Interstitial Cystitis, I won't be eating much of either of those for a while anyway!
Oh Alice - it is so good to hear there is life after peri!

(Round)Robin - thank you so much for taking the time to post to me. I know you have so many problems of your own going on. I read some of your posts the other day - I am so sorry that you are having such a terrible time and I sincerely hope you get the good news that you deserve soon. I don't know the US system well to be able to suggest much, but I want you to know that we are all here for you Robin

In the UK we only see gynos as specialist referrals as all the routine pap smears etc are done by the nurse based at the GP's. With this suspect IC though, my GP was suggesting that I do see a gyno, so I will be able to ask her about all the other symptoms too. The palps have subsided greatly recently, thank goodness, as have the migraines and the gastritis; they are all still symptoms that are around -just not to the same extent that they once were (though I still get flare ups). It's like each part of my body gets hit hard by peri when the symptom first arrives, then after what seems an age, it settles down to a lesser level. The anxiety is still a huge issue for me though. I have had CBT therapy for the health anxiety side of things and the panic attacks have largely subsided but I still get the horrid morning jitteriness. Just seems like I have dealt with one thing and am picking myself up when another arrives...
I haven't even started having hot flushes yet...I wonder if that's next? (sigh)

(UK)Robin - Thank you for the big hug - I needed it! (And thanks for sending the comment to my page too!) So is it any easier 4 years down the line, Robin?

Ah yes, a cleaner would be nice... actually a full time house keeper would be nice and a cook and a nanny and a chauffer and a tutor to help the kids with homework... but yes, seriously, I have thought about a cleaner before. I feel so guilty though as I don't work right now (gave up when the panic attacks started to hit) - so I feel I should be doing all the house stuff as I supposedly have "all day". I do get the ironing done by an agency from time to time when I get bogged down though.

I do. But I failed the test, and I broke. All I can say is, don't follow my failed example. Hang onto what you feel is worth it, and disregard the rest. Live minute by minute if you need to, without expectations of space or time, ie, stop thinking about what is going to happen next. There is no answer to that question. All you know is what is happenning right now.

Pretend this is your last day on earth, and spend your time doing what is important to you. This is what carries me through the pain. And realize that you are not alone in your journey. You are walking a path that women have walked through since the beginning of time, and you have sisters that can hold you up and see you through.

Armadillo - those are wise beautiful words - thank you! I'm going to note down what you said to remember!

Armadillo - I'm sorry you broke. I hope you are mended enough to be coping better these days? {{{Hugs}}}

Thanks. The love from my family is the glue that holds me together. My sisters on PS are the ones who help me cope. Trying to see the humor in everything, especially myself, is the therapy I need to sustain my reality, and like the MasterCard advert says, "Priceless".

Squiggle, I feel for you and understand how you are feeling. I keep reading on here that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we get through it all. Armadillo had some really wise advice. I have noticed that when I walk every day now, I take notice of the birds singing and look at the clouds and the houses etc. I take the time and just enjoy the moment. Something I never did before and now love doing.

Mopsy

Hi squiggle and meno friends!

I too feel like I'm being tested... when I've just got rid of one symptom, another one begins!

My old symptoms were panic attacks/anxiety and day time/nightime sweats, heart racing and poor sleep....

I'm still experiencing night time sweats on waking and VERY poor sleep, the anxiety/heart racing and panic attacks haven't visited me for a good 6 monhts now.

I'm now getting food intolerances and that is driving me crazy as I've already cut out gluten and dairy, but something is still occasionally upsetting my stomach!

I also have loose stools, which is ghastly! (although I sometimes feel constipated by the afternoon!)....have had them for 3 years now.

So my worst symptoms right now are:

1. Very poor sleep/sweats on waking up/tossing and turning
2. Loose stools/bloating/wind!
3. Lack of energy

I very often wonder how much more of this I can take!

Thank God for all you girls and Powersurge.

Keep your chins up!

Caz

Hi Squiggle,
saw your post & just had to reply, you usually sound so upbeat but I could tell from your post how down you're feeling today.
Just wanted to offer support & say that I totally understand how you feel. I have made huge improvements re: the fatigue problem I was having & I have been feeling so much better & more able to cope with everyday life again thanks to the therapy I'm currently doing.
However, just as I was starting to feel good & almost normal again, I've had 5 weeks of the most intense, horrible hot flashes, approx 20-30 per day & I wake up 2-8 times a night. I'm really starting to feel tired from it & just feel generally blah. I had no idea that hot flashes could feel so horrible, I just thought you felt hot & that was it!
So I know how you feel when you say that it's one thing after another, that you adjust to one symptom or it lessens & then something else takes its place.

Every now & then I have a pity-party for myself & have a good cry & then I pick myself up again & tell myself that it'll get better & other women are going through it too but I know how hard that can be. Fortunately (?) one of my best friends is also suffering badly with flushes & night sweats so I have someone I can talk to who understands which helps but many of my friends look at me strangely when I talk about peri & say 'but aren't you too young for that?' Either they're the lucky ones who are sailing through it or it hasn't hit them yet! My SIL is 50 & is still having normal periods & no symptoms!!
When I'm not coping with symptoms, anxiety, future worrying & having too much to do I just stop what I'm doing & say to myself
'Just deal with this day....this hour.... this minute....this moment.... NOW!'
& I focus completely on what I'm doing at that moment. I find this helps me feel calmer & reminds me to just deal with one thing at a time. Otherwise my head starts stressing & then I get more physical symptoms from the stress & anxiety.

I really hope you feel better soon Squiggle, we all know how you feel & we all get days like this. You know you only have to come to PS to get the support you need & we'll all get there together!! You may not be anything like your sister, you may be related but you're not identical genetically so you may have a different experience to her.

Our rubbish weather doesn't help does it?! Spring should lift your spirits abit! Anyway, cheer up-Desperate Housewives is back!!!!
Take care Squiggle & don't worry about hot flashes, we'll be here to support you through those too!!
love & hugs
Sarah xx

Thanks girls again for being there!

Mopsy - It's such a darn long tunnel though, isn't it?

Caz - you know a lot of my problems have meant that I have had to change what I eat (including the latest - IC). It is such a pain. Do you think you might have IBS? My stools are often loose in the morning and other days quite normal. I have had IBS since I was about 20. I used to get pain with it but fortunately not these days. Have you tried cutting out caffeine or wheat?

I did some contraversial food intolerance blood tests a couple of years back, hoping I would discover the item that was causing my migraines perhaps. It came back with such a long list that I couldn't eat, that I didn't know where to start - so I didn't! Cripes, if I cut all those foods out as well as going on this very limited interstitial cystitis diet, I would be eating nothing at all bar boiled rice & veggies!!!

Sarah - yes, you know me well - I don't like being down like this. Oh poor you with the hot flushes - I am not looking forward to them at all - only consolation I suppose is at least we know what they are so can't worry about them, though if they are as akin to panic attacks as I have read, then I don't want them!

I'm off to the GP today. We have an upcoming trip to Florida in 2 weeks. Meant to be the holiday of a lifetime, but I am quaking in my boots about not being well while I am there. I have to wait to be referred to a gyno over this until I get back, as otherwise my travel insurance won't cover me for any related issues while I'm out there! Yes the weather is grotty here right now, isn't it!

morning squigs

You're welcome, for the hugs. You know if we women had a £1 for everytime we felt guilty about something we'd be very rich. I think that it's that guilt that makes us drive ourselves so hard. I used to feel guilty far more than I do now. Try not to feel guilty about getting help even though you're not working, you've had all the extra worry and time with your mother, your husband sometimes works away and you are in charge of everything, it's a wonderful time with the family, but oh so demanding. If I could rewind to some of the crazy busy times in my life I would get some extra help in a heart beat so that I wasn't so exhausted. I'm sure a lot of my problems were made worse because of my crazy lifestyle.

As for the meno stuff, I hope it gets easier. My symptoms come and go and they are unpredictable. The one day at a time approach is really the best way. I remember last March /April when I had a bad bout of night sweats. I was beside myself thinking that I'd end up as ill as I was before. I'd get up every morning having hardly slept, feeling subhuman, worrying that there was never going to be an end to them but I persevered and found something that worked for me and, fingers crossed, you'll find something that works for you whatever meno stuff comes your way.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she doesn't like to talk about meno stuff, even though over the years she's had migraines, heavy bleeding, and is on the point of having an hysterectomy. If I have told her that I've had a problem she's not interested. It's like she thinks she's being strong by not acknowledging it. I asked her a couple of questions and she just clammed up and didn't want to talk about it so I didn't press any further. I think the fact that we are able to talk about all of this, the fact that there are sympathetic people here helps so much.

Hope you get on okay at the docs today.

Big hugs
robin

Thanks Robin,
Yes it really helps to talk doesn't it. Thank goodness for PS! My local friends don't talk much about these things either - most don't know what I'm talking about anyway. I think they probably think there I go again, that i'm a hypochondriac. Well I don't imagine these symptoms - they are very real and the HA makes it doubly hard to deal with them.

It is such a rollercoaster. No doubt when I've had proper diagnostic confirmation of this bladder problem, I'll find a way to cope with it, but for now, I just don't need it, I really don't.

I need to see a gyno about all this when I get back from Florida. I'll try the NHS first but if I don't get anywhere, I'm desperate enough to look into something private. My Hubby has the option of BUPA but my list of pre-existing conditions is so long and all exempt, it's not worth signing me up to it.

GP today retested my urine - no infection present. Everything points to IC and PFD. Just want to know for sure.

Well, I've done nothing towards this holiday preparation yet, and we're in London overnight on Sat. (Off to see Joseph!) I wish I could stir up some enthusiasm.

hi squiggles,

can't add a thing to the great responses/advice that you got. but i'm right there with you, hoping that whatever hits me in the head next will bounce off rather than lay me flat. thank goodness for everyone here! many hugs to you & good wishes along the way.

xo,
ellen

If it helps, one of the many self help books I read, advised you to act as though you were interested in something (ie as though you were playing a character in a play- don't do a Grace Kelly-she overacted ) even if inside, you felt like running away. I tried it a few times and it did help.

It looks like you have some nice treats ahead!

Hi Girls,
can really relate to this topic at the moment!
Squiggle-you sound abit brighter today! Hope you enjoy Joseph, is Lee Mead still playing that role? Hope you have a lovely time, I'm sure once you get there you'll be fine & it'll help to take your mind off all the crappy stuff!

Robin-your experience of talking to friends about it is the same as mine. Only 2 weeks ago one of my friends was telling me that just before her period she gets hot, throws the duvet back & then gets cold again & I said 'yeah, that's classic hot flushes' but she kind of pulled a face & said 'no, I just get hot'.
Why won't other women admit it if they are getting symptoms? I mean, it's nothing to be ashamed of for goodness sake!!!! I find other women just don't want to discuss it, like by ignoring it then maybe it'll go away or something! I know not everyone wants to talk about these things but I don't understand this kind of taboo status it's been given.
One of my friends (not a close friend!) once said dismissively 'Oh well, I think if you think about it too much you just make it worse. If you think you're going to have a difficult time then you will.'!!
If it wasn't for Powersurge & the girls here I think I would feel very isolated in all of this.
love Sarah xx

Being how I am (ha!), I would have asked the friend, "Well, why did you not get these hot spells 10 years ago? Why now? Could it be hormone changes?" But I'm mean like that when my friends are in denial, lol.

I think I've had every symptom you can possibly get, over a period of 10 years now (at least). My last period was last July, so maybe they are finally over. BUT, I have felt so awful lately that I think it was better when I had them. Like for the last two days, I've had nausea and bad body aches, all over, like flu. But I do not have flu, nor a fever.

And I just have no interest in life. I've just started Oprah's classes with Eckhart Tolle, so maybe that will help further. I do know that my anxiety is down since reading his book. I got through something that normally really upsets me, with minimal distress. But my body is still feeling awful, and my disinterest in regular things is not getting better yet.

Squiggles,

I just wanted to send many HUGS your way! I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed by all this, and believe me, I totally understand how you feel. Symptoms come and go and it seems lilke there's no time for relief before another one rears its ugly head..... I hope you can just hang on to the fact that it's supposed to get better eventually.

Remember we're all here for you, too!

Deb

I've had a good cry today at last and feel a bit better for it, though the bladder stuff is still getting me down.

Thanks Ellen & Deb for your kind words and Alice for your wise tips. Sarah & DesRothchild, I'm sorry that you're suffering too - will we ever feel normal again?

I'm busying myself trying to make aged paper with coffee granules and the oven for my eldest's History project. He's made some already but half the sheets are bound to get stuck in the printer when he prints it out and he will need lots of spares.

Alice - I am trying to pretend life is normal today - thanks!