I'm sitting here feeling like the ceiling is falling in on me. I keep having crying bouts and am having a hard time moving on. Should have seen this coming, since I was actually having a pretty good week attitude-wise, and now I've crashed.

I'm hoping that getting it out in the open will help. When I'm in this place, I literally cannot talk. Phone calls are impossible, so this is my only outlet--PS. Feeling lucky to have found it, but will it just feed my insecurity about reaching out to flesh and blood people? Not that you guys aren't but for an extrovert (yeah, I took the test) I'm feeling extremely introverted right now. Maybe overwhelmed is a better choice of words.

Thanks.

Hey Choco!!

I am sorry you are feeling so lousy this morning...today...whatever time of day it is!! I have sure been where you are, and it isn't fun! It is awful, horrible, scary. Even knowing it is caused from hormones doesn't make it FEEL any nicer does it?? I eventually found it made me so angry, feeling that way. I didn't want it, it wasn't ME....just thinking about it makes me mad all over again!! Sadly I don't really have anywhere to aim the anger!!

You will get through this, you know you will....it will pass, as always does. Do you take anything for it? I refused to suffer, so I treated my symptoms so I could have some semblence of a normal life....but then I was having zero good days at that point. It was like living in a nightmare that I could never wake up from! If you have read any of my posts you know I did it all...Ativan, Anti-depressants, BHRT and L-Theanine...and I am now living a fairly normal life. I never ever feel as bad as I did before. My biggest complain now is tiredness...big deal, I can deal with being tired!

You will be ok...drink some green tea...take a walk, or if you can't go out...try doing some housework, anything to burn off the anxiety (which is often driven by adrenal) plus being distracted can sometimes help too.

Keep checking in with us....I have come to enjoy your upbeat posts, I am sorry you are feeling so down...but glad you are asking for help when you need it.

Hugs
Floater

chocolatewoman: I'm right here for you. You're not alone; my life has been unbearable the past few days. If it weren't for my daughter, I would seriously contemplate suicide. My marriage is in shambles, the stress from my husband's arrest is looming over us like a dark cloud, we're broke, we've lost all our 'so-called' friends, and frankly, I just don't see the point of being alive anymore.

There, now, didn't that cheer you up? Just kidding...I'm supposed to be helping you and hearing I am venting all my woes all over you. Please forgive me. What can I do to help? Are you feeling anxious over any in particular or is it just that free floating axiety that comes out of no where and hijacks your sanity (that's the worse kind.)

My life is hell right now, but at least I can still be there for others....whatever I can do...let me know (I were there in person, I'd make you some balloon animals...I dunno, they always seem to lighten the mood...)

Chocolatewoman, I know you're feeling down but a short while ago you were giving your advice to Doaker about interviewing (I'm an old geezer, too at 48!). You may feel down, but look at how strong you are! You just shared your valuable insight with another member here who's returning to work. My husband reminds me how strong I am, and a lot of times I don't think I'm terribly strong. We need to remind each of this.

Robin, I'm so sorry you're feeling down, too. I'll give you the same advice--look how strong you are, helping others when you're feeling down youself. One time I listened to Dearest (the audio) and she says something to the effect that we are able to help ourselves the most when we are helping others.

You both need a pat on the back!

Frisbee

Chocolate:

You are not alone. I am here with you too. I have lived with this horrible anxiety as my hormones plummet for nearly a year now. i am in the process of trying everything and have yet to find the magic bullet but we press on - I too am an extrovert - or was and now I shudder when the phone rings - anything hostile sends me into a panic attack even if I'm not invoved. Sometimes i describe it as this - my emotions are like a foam top mattress and whatever negativity comes my way leaves a deep imprint which lasts what feels like forever - plus i'm usually crawling out of my own skin.

Like Robin thoough I can be there for others - and hopefully for you.

Much Much love Pookish

thanks frisbee...I don't want to hijack chocoloatewoman's threads with my own problems...I need more than a pat on the back, though... I need a new life with a clean slate. Today is very, very bad. My husabnd and I are at each other's throats. I literally can't stand the site or sound of him. I wish he would go away and never come back.

RR, Floater, Frisbee, thanks for your input. Frisbee, it helps to get distracted by someone else's "stuff." Keeps me from working on my own, plus I'm sure my issues surface in there somewhere. Yes, I've heard from the first day of my life how "strong" I am. I wonder if I'm just a big talker. (I'm not one of those you want to parade around in an interview. I'm really good at looking really rational.)

RR, you put my stuff in perspective. Makes me feel extra whiny, of course, but that's my issue, not yours and I probably need to hear that I have luxury problems while others really are in a bad spot. I hope things get better for you. I don't know how or when that will be, of course, but I have to hope that it will, just like you do. I hate when people suffer.

Floater, I do feel a lot of anger about this. It just came out of the wild blue yonder and ruined a perfectly nice week. I'm angry that it is happening and angry that I can't get any help, at least not from a doctor who will say, "this is peri and this is how I can help you." I'm sick and tired of putting out the white flags and getting nothing. They don't even tell me it's all in my head.

I have a tiny thread connecting me to my "real" self (read: the person I want to be or at least show to the rest of the world.) Keep scissors out of my hands and I'll come out of this sooner or later. I just hate it right now.

I am fighting the urge to apologize to all of you.

OMG! This is exactly what I feel right now! The hostile thing, I mean, and the phone. I am so glad you don't think I'm nuts. This feels bad.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Oh Cocoa, You were laughing and emailing just the other night. Can you explain exactly what is going through your head?

Robin, I must have missed your earlier posts. What was your husband arrested for? if you can share that is. It seems as though you have been dealt a lousy hand lately. remember it is always the darkest before the dawn. Sounds trite I know but this too shall pass. Keep you head up and the posts coming.
Louisa

((((chocolate woman)))) & ((((rr)))),

so so sorry for how hard it is right now. i can't change external circumstances, but i can empathize with the horrible/scary/despairing/can't take it anymore moments. just blogged about my recent one a few days ago.

hold on. whatever you need to do right now to take care & protect yourself - do it. don't contemplate during these times. throw the phone out the window. distract. move. listen to music. whatever may help. these mood/emotional waves will pass. remind yourself of that. remind yourself that you are strong. remind yourself that you are not alone.

& keep coming to us. this is like my 911 on those days. even if i don't post. none of us are doing this alone. all of us want to help.

many hugs,
ellen

I have no clue. Would have PM'ed you but I feel like a total idiot--normal one minute and nuts the next. Right now I have terrible cramps and I feel like crap. Other than that I am my usual cheery self. I guess it feels hormonal, but lately everything feels hormonal, even the good days. Thanks for your concern. It means a lot. Keep dodging those tornadoes. We need you!

Yes, it IS 911. I hope when you had troubles the other day I responded, but sometimes I think I talk too much so I might have decided it was a day when I should shut up. I HATE HATE HATE these waves. Obviously, I'm not having one of my shut up days. Thanks for the hug.

Chocolate,

I've had SO MANY days when I was OVERLY introverted and overwhelmed.

All I can say to you is that it always gets better, at least for a while. I know that doesn't help when you're going through it, though.

Hang in there, sister, and remember that ALL of us are here for you, okay?! It ALWAYS helps me when I feel that way to come to this HAVEN and get relief!

Take care,
Deb

RR: Ditto for you, dear PS sister....we're here for you, too!