I am not having any fun with this peri stuff either however I am fascinated about how obsessive it all becomes for so many women. Why do you think so many of us allow all of this to take over our lives? I don't recall any of my female relatives even mentioning it but maybe they just held it in?

Good question!! I think some women suffer in silence, as is the way of so many women!!

Also, there are some who honestly don't suffer particularly....wish I was one of those!!

Those of us who come here, are the ones that really have suffered and are having difficult times. It does become the focal point of our existence when it affects every aspect of our life!! My mission has been to feel well, to regain quality of life and to once more be a productive member of society. After 6 months, I am finally there! Not feeling perfect, not feeling 25....but certainly 85% back to where I was. This may be as good as it gets, and if so I am ok with that. I had undergone such a dramatic improvement that I try not to complain too much on those days I don't feel great.

I think we still suffer in silence!
If it wasn't for the Internet I would have no one to talk to about peri.
Tried talking to friends-family even strangers but no one else I have met can relate or care's!
So I no longer bring it up!

Perhaps our mothers didn't realize it was menopause that was causing them so many problems? If it weren't for this Board, I would not have known that some of my symptoms were "normal."

And, I don't think they held it in - just didn't know what to call it (and doctors didn't either.) How many of us know older women who talk about "having a nervous breakdown." I'd be willing to be it was meno related anxiety. And, many women were put on BP meds, etc., in their 40s. (Both my mother and MIL were.)

I was told my sweet grandmother took to her bed for 3 years in her late 40's. My Mom had to quit school to help at home. I only remmeber grandmother in later years as a happy kind person!
Hmmmm wonder what wrong with grandma?

I never once heard my Mother utter the word menopause.

I did the math one day because a memory pop into my head. When my Mom was around 50, her and I took a long walk. When we return home she said "I feel so dizzy and tired I thought I wouldn't make it back to the house"!
I also remmeber her flooding, one day while helping her hang clothes on the line, I notice blood just pouring down her legs. She never said a thing just ran into the house.

I wish she was still alive! I know she would share stories of herself and others.
Oh I remember once her sister stop by and she said Gerry has turn into a nut> they had to put her on hormones! Sometime I just try and try to remember any little tidbits I can!
Gerry is still alive, I went to see her last year but she wouldn't talk about menopause no matter how many times I bought it up!

I hope to god my daughter never suffers with perimenopause the way I have. Just incase, I have written a journal for her to read if the time calls for it. I never want her to go through this alone. I hope she never goes through this at all!! God willing.

... I was reading about Florence Nightingale. She became a reluse and bedridden with a mysterious illness in her 40s. I often wonder if she was suffering with peri. She died when she was aged 90yrs.

Gez, also kept a journal for my daughter.
Also going to put together a menopause survival kit for her. Like my favortive books etc.
She's 30 now so way older then your daughter, but still my little girl!

Aww, of course shes still you're little girl and she always will be. The books and other coping skills is a good idea, Snowy, never thought of that - thanks.

My daughter is 14yrs - shes been having periods since late last year. Last month she had a really hard time. I was taking a bath and she rushes in to the bathroom, sits down on the toilet looking very pale. She told me she was going to pass out so I had to hold her upright and carry her to her bedroom. It really broke my heart to see her in such a state. She is so teribbly young to be having these problems already.

I too wish my daughter will not have a hard time with peri but
she definitely has PMS now, she has very short cycle (period every 25 days) and is irritable, complains of headache, cramps and feeling tired...the temper and nastiness is the worst. I too will
write a formal journal about my transition because I KNOW she may have a hard time too. When I told my Mom about peri/meno symptoms on the phone about 3 years ago, she started crying ... my Mom survived it and is 75 years old. Most times when we talk, she will ask me how I am feeling... I am so happy she is still around.

Plumeria

Hi Everyone,

I also believe that women have always suffered from peri/meno. It just seems counter-intuitive that human nature has changed that dramatically in a generation or two.

I believe that women suffered in silence, pushing themselves to continue their normal routines even when they were barely able to. I believe that some did eventually stop going, but that they called their ailments by another name. When my Grandmother was in her 50's she was always taking to her bed with migraines. Finally, I think that society has, to a certain extent, allowed us to suffer with a voice. Many of us have said that our husbands or SOs are very understanding. Years ago, most men did not want to even hear about "women troubles."

My husband has been a real prince about my journey--and my meno experience has been among the most severe. He doesn't see my problems as complaints. He sees them as symptoms to be dealt with.

I urge everyone to urge all husbands and SOs to come to Power Surge. I know my husband became familiar with what I am going through by reading others' posts. I also know that I feel validated when he reads that I am not the only one having a really tough time.

Hugs all around,
Marcy

I spent the first 6 years of this peri hell in almost complete silence, with the exception of one friend I confided in who didnt understand even the slightest bit of what I was experiencing. So, I basically suffered alone until I found PS in July of 07, but truth is, I have spent much of my life, until this, in silence.

And yes, peri has taken control of my life, but I do feel as though i'm slowly getting it back.

My mother killed herself at age 54. I'm sure it was the same psychological imbalances brought on by menopause that I suffer from. I've attempted suicide too. My daughter is 23, and is fully aware of my genetic imbalances, and how there is a possibility that she, too may suffer. So she does have more knowledge and awareness than I had. She also seems to be mentally healthy, and has a great mind like her father. But there is no way that I will keep a journal about menopause from my perspective. Some things are better off kept inside my brain. Especially my sick and ugly thoughts. Remember what happenned when they opened the Arc in the first Indiana Jones movie? I don't want my daughter's face to melt off in horror.

[quote name='orngkat06' date='Feb 27 2008, 10:54 AM' post='211409']
Why do you think so many of us allow all of this to take over our lives?

i didn't allow it to take over, it did it without my permission.

For those of us who were merrily going through life when all of a sudden we hit the brick wall called "perimenopause", I think we are still trying to find answers! That is one of the reasons why I keep "obsessing" about this darn thing - because nobody can give me exact facts about why I feel like dying and why my life was turned upside down. I just went to see my OB/GYN and she cannot believe that the symptoms I am describing are hormone related. She says menopause symptoms should mostly involve hot flashes and vaginal dryness, NOT dizziness, nausea, seasickness, migraines, major fatigue, anxiety, etc... I don't know what school she went to, but I don't think it is unusual for our doctors to think we are overexaggerating and not getting it because they don't have a CLUE themselves. My doctor implied that it sounds like I have a pituitary or brain tumor rather than hormone problems! Sheesh - I know more than her and have already been down that road (CT scan, yada yada)

So yes, I do find myself obsessing about this weird ailment because I can't get clear cut answers, so the best thing to do is read about it from the horses mouth - YOU ALL!!

[quote name='epdp2' date='Feb 27 2008, 06:01 PM' post='211492']
[quote name='orngkat06' date='Feb 27 2008, 10:54 AM' post='211409']
Why do you think so many of us allow all of this to take over our lives?

[b]i didn't allow it to take over, it did it without my permission.

Here here Ellen!!

[quote name='malkachava' date='Feb 27 2008, 03:59 PM' post='211506']
[quote name='epdp2' date='Feb 27 2008, 06:01 PM' post='211492']
[quote name='orngkat06' date='Feb 27 2008, 10:54 AM' post='211409']
Why do you think so many of us allow all of this to take over our lives?

[b]i didn't allow it to take over, it did it without my permission.

Here here Ellen!!



If I had had any idea I was gonna be hit head on with a ton of bricks going 2000 miles per hour, you better believe I would have armed myself with a tank to head it off, or would have died trying, but because my mother was SILENT and because she was unstable meno or no meno, I had no idea what had hit me!

Get my point?

Those are some great comments!! And yes it was like hitting a brick wall going 2000 mph!!! And no, I didn't give it permission to take over my life!! But it did!! I have to laugh, cuz man, if we can't have a sense of humour about all this....there would be no point in getting up in the mornings!

God, what an amazing idea! I have toyed with the thought of writing something for my daughter and this has given me new inspiration. My precious girl, 15, is such a strong young woman. I think she has no idea of her strength. She deals with her tough periods--heavy bleeds, cramps--with a powerful attitude. I can be more like her.

I actually have a couple of women at church who I can talk to. But for the most part, I understand what snowy says. My sister is 5 years older and is absolutly useless in the peri thing. she turned around and talked about me behind my back about how unbalanced I was. So I dont confide in her at all. She told me last year as she looks back that she really thinks she was in peri-duh!

I asked my obgyn about the jitters and anxiety and he said no other patients complain about it??? Really?

What a shame that your sister was so unfeeling when you confided in her. But I am happy for you that you have friends to talk to. If I did not have my wonderful Surge Sisters, I would talk to myself even more than I do now.

Jittery anxious feelings are among the worst of the peri/meno symptoms. Your GYN did you a real disservice by telling you that others have not complained. The Boards here are filled with stories of women who suffer every day. You are not alone!

I finally found a great GYN after more than 20 years of being dissatisfied. It was a matter of getting into a different community of doctors. She has even told me about some of her own meno symptoms.

I really empathize with the ride you are on. I am on the same bumpy road. But it is getting better. Hang in.

Best,
Marcy