Hi All!
I have been reading your posts for a few weeks now and am finally posting myself for some feedback. I am 43, married with a 4 year old daughter. Life would be great if it weren't for me and my problems. About 14 months ago it started with severe stomach pain and a trip to the ER in the middle of the night. To make a long story short, in the past year I've been through an Upper GI, Colonoscopy, EKG, Stress Test, MRI to rule out MS, numerous blood tests (which just showed general inflammation) and my doctors were at a loss and sent me home with Xanax and Anti-depressants.
Then last August, my sister-in-law mentioned "It sounds like it's perimenopause." After finding the list of 34 symptoms on the internet and having 25 of them, I broke down crying...again... and went to my Ob/Gyn for testing which came back confirming that I am indeed perimenopausal. Looking back at past symptoms, it probably started before I even got pregnant with our first and only child 5 years ago but they really hit hard last year.
So anyway, my ob/gyn could offer me nothing but the birth control pill as treatment and I tried it for one month and felt horrible. I tried progesterone cream and it helped but I knew I needed more. I found a doctor who prescribes Bio-identical hormones and I have been on estrogen now for 8 days. Since I had to stop the progesterone to mimic a natural cycle, I am feeling even worse than before.
I've got about 25 of the 34 meno symptoms but the worst of them is the anxiety. It is running my life at times. I'm trying the magnesium and l-theanine mentioned here but just took a xanax since nothing is working today. Now my biggest concerns are some new symptoms that have cropped up in the last few weeks. A few weeks ago, I started getting really itchy little tiny blisters randomly all over my body. It seems to coincide with a new bottle of progesterone. I stopped that bottle last week but I still get the blisters although not as bad. Also, at about that time, I started having pain under my jaw and then my glands in my neck got swollen and they are still swollen. I also just noticed a few days ago that a mole that I've had forever on my back has changed color. Not to mention the pain in my muscles in my legs.
I do have an appointment with my new doctor tomorrow but I am so scared of being thought I'm crazy that now I get super high anxiety every time I go to a doctor. I'm almost afraid to mention all of my symptoms because I know I sound like a hypocondriac.
I am so thankful for all of you taking the time to post your experiences. It has helped me more than you know to get through every day. Any feedback would be appreciated.
Susan

Hi Susan! Sometimes it is hard to get off the roller coaster when it's going full speed. Sounds like you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Not so easy to relax, eh?--when somethin' else keeps croppin' up to replace your previous weird ache or pain. Do u have a support system such as a loving and understanding husband? Sometimes that's not enough when the hormones are all over the board. I had a friend tell me that menstrual withdrawal is worse than heroin withdrawal because once you're done with heroin and all the symptoms, you're done, but not so with peri. It goes on and on--one minute up and the next minute down.
Health issues can cause great anxiety. The mind is powerful and when it starts imagining the worst it is difficult to remove ourselves from that destructive mode. You WILL be better. Exercise is a great stress reliever. I always feel better after walking on my treadmill. And some of my favorite bible verses are "Be still and know that I am God", and "Fear not, for I will never leave you or forsake you".
I imagine it is difficult for you, too, to have the stress of raising a little sweetheart in today's world, and at the same time, facing a passage in your own life. Are you also dealing with parent issues? Are your parents needing you now?
I will be praying for you. Somehow I know you will be just fine. I'm glad you posted! Hugzzzzzz!!

Susan,

I can SO relate to what you've said! I'm actually going through the anxiety now because of having symptoms again after several months of relative calm. I've actually developed quite a case of health anxiety since peri hit me about four years ago. I've resorted to the occasional Xanax, too, many times over the last two years because it really helps.

If your doctor knows anything about peri, he/she won't think you're crazy. There are SO many of us who have anxiety and the other symptoms, too. My doctor always tells me she's heard it before from other patients whenever I mention a new symptom I'm having.

I hope your appointment goes well and please let us know, okay?

Take care and God bless,
Deb

Susan in a way you are luckier then most of us, I have never gotten confirmation through labs I am in peri=menopause.
I am 51 and have no doubt!
There are times when I think the anxiety is my worse symptom then the head aches hit or the leg pain the night sweats.
Anyway what you must do with your new doctor is not show fear or weakness! They will eat you a live if you do, you could even leave with a prescription for ad's.
I wish I had the advice you seek, but it's a journey we must each take and our road maps are so different!
Glad you found PS>Welcome!

Dear Susan,

Welcome to Power Surge. I am so glad you have joined us!

Peri is a journey without a roadmap or a compass. You travel along, stop to see the sights day to day, and then hormones move you on to something else. It can be incredibly frustrating, especially for those of us who like to navigate our own way. But there are some excellent tools that can help get you through. There are good doctors out there, there are good medicines that some of us have found very helpful, and there is a wonderful community of supportive women here that will never let you down. Use all the compasses you have at your disposal and I believe you will be able to make the days bearable at least. Some days may even be good ones!

I have been at the very lowest point and have found my way back upward. Hang in. It will get better. Please post often so we can help.

Very best,
Marcy

Susan,

Bless your heart. I can imagine you are overwhelmed. But you are not alone. Peri seems to make our bodies go haywire. I have "been there, done that" with the stomach issues--a good six months of acid relux esophagus spasms and panic over not being able to swallow without feeling as if food got stuck. The blisters you are experiencing may be a reaction to progesterone but may just be part of the weirdness of peri. Sometimes my thighs itch and I scratch until they are red and irritated and almost bruised looking and then it gradually subsides. It is very uncomfortable and frustrating.

Please tell your doctor everything that is bothering you. You are not a hypochondriac and you deserve to be taken seriously by doctors. I feel foolish complaining to my doc too and he sometimes acts like I am overreacting but I make sure he knows that I am truly feeling unwell with the symptoms and then he takes me more seriously. The docs get paid to llisten to our complaints; if they don't like it then they need to get a grip.

Xanax helps tremendously and if you really need it, take it. We need to be able to function and if a small dose of Xanax helps, well so be it. I have some too and take very small doses to treat the panic and anxiety.

Let us know how the doc appt. goes.

All the best.

Cindy

Thanks for all of your replies and encouragement. I saw the doctor yesterday and she felt that none of my physical symptoms were cause for alarm. Even the mole had just changed color because it must have gotten caught on my bra and bled. I told her how anxious I have been and she indicated that we need to give the BHRT time to work but that we "may still need additional intervention" meaning she thinks my emotional problems will not be helped enough with hormones and I may need anti-depressants as well.
I have been very upset about this and praying a lot and asking for some direction because I don't know if I should keep on this course or change courses. I'm beginning to wonder if it is the hormones or if I'm just losing my sanity. And I am feeling a lot of guilt because I know my husband and daughter deserve a better wife and mother than this. I feel very alone in this especially since all of the other moms I am friends with are younger than me and have no clue what this is like. When I do find someone who is post-men she didn't experience what I am and therefor I feel like it's just me and there must be something else going on emotionally.
I could go on and on but that's enough.
Thanks for listening this far.
Susan

sabutts,

Don't feel you are crazy!! Cuz you aren't!! So many of us have had similar experiences...

I take an anti-depressant and BHRT....it took awhile it get it all right, but I am functioning well these days, and feeling good most days! The wacky hormones can make you feel crazy, no question about that....but that doesn't mean you truly ARE crazy!!

I am happy that the ADs helped as much as they have. Rather than feeling depressed that your doctor is willing to offer you further intervention.....be happy you have one that is so willing to help. There are many many many people in the world...women AND men...that take anti-depressants in order to be able to function...I suspect more than you could imagine! And you would probably be surprised by how many of those "younger" mom's are taking them! There are many people who feel taking anti depressants makes them "weak" and "mentally ill", and won't ever discuss the fact that they are using anti-depressants.

Susan,
I'm so sorry for how you've been feeling and will pray for you today. I'm also new on this sight, but have been reading the posts for a while and finding encouragement in not being alone. I too am an "older" woman with a young child (53 with a 12 year old) and definitely don't feel the same level of energy some of my son's mothers feel. However, don't let that discourage you - being a little older brings a little wisdom, patience and experience that will serve you and your little one well.

Take the help that is offered and try to treat yourself gently. I've started taking leisurely baths, taking yoga for flexibility, increasing my quiet times with God, reading good books, making a more concerted effort to eat well, etc. Sometimes there are seasons in life when you have to give yourself a little more maintenance than others. It won't be forever and it will restore some strength to you and your family in the long run. I hope you can find a friend who has gone through all of this ahead of you and who can give you some camaraderie in this.

Donna

Susan,

In the darkest time of my life, I started on BHRT and prozac (10 mg) and as I got better, I weaned myself from the prozac (only on it for about 7 months) but stayed on BHRT. To date, I am taking a lower dose of bioidentical estradiol and knock on wood, I am doing okay.

I guess what I am sharing is that you can try the AD and wean yourself off when you are feeling more balanced.

How long have you been on the hormones, I really would give it at least 2months for your body to adjust.

Do take care and be kind to yourself.

Plumeria

I don't know what it is but I'm having a great day today. Maybe the BHRT is finally starting to kick in, maybe it's all your help and prayers, maybe it's coming to terms with all this stuff. Whatever it is, I'm going to enjoy the good day and not worry about it and keep doing what I'm doing. I've taken your advice and have decided to
1. "Give the BHRT at least 2 months for my body to adjust" and see where I am then.
2. "Take the help that is offered and try to treat yourself gently."
3. "Be happy you have (a doctor) that is so willing to help."
4. I've also tried to get out more and be more active.
Today, I met a wonderful friend at the park with our kids and we talked for 4 hours! It was just what I needed. I haven't had a good day in a while. It makes you really appreciate it when they do come along.
Thanks again for sharing your wisdom.
Susan