hi ladies...yes, it's me again, MyDarling, the nervous wreck! I'm sorry i just keep posting about this, but it's driving me insane with fear!

I've been dealing with this IBS problem now for a few weeks, that's longer than i've EVER had to deal with it! Now at first it started up by the belly button area, to the left, and then a little lower, something I'm used to...then, a few days ago, it seemed to go lower, down the the left ovary area, which I posted already. But, this is really something, because it feels exactly like a cyst would feel, now, I've only had one in my lifetime, it was 24 yrs ago however, and it wasn't this bad, it went away by itself, and i do know that right now, in PERI, things are magnified out of proportion. But, again, this really feels bad down there, and I don't have an appt. till monday, now, it's nothing to run to the ER with right now, I mean, yes it aches in the left ovary area, and i also get stabbing pains in there, and that awful sick feeling,,,,oh, and that very heavy abdomen, sort of a "grinding" feeling by the ovary, which in turn, sort of feels as though it slowly "grinds" down my groin, into my right thigh, and pubic bone (left side only). I've called the dr.'s office twice, to see if there were any canellations, and guess what...of course not! ok, so i'll just have to wait, but I'm so scared. I know so many women here, and friends of my own, have told me that even if this WERE an ovarian cyst, or a fibroid, it's no biggie, not life threating, and i know this...and yet, i'm panicking! This feels so bad! It aches and i get pains in there, and today, my abdomen, feels so THICK, so heavy, ...NOT as if you're bloated with air, no, this actually feels THICK in there, VERY heavy! so, then, i start to think it's a big huge tumor, or a huge ovarian cyst,,,,bec. after all why in the world would it be hurting like this, or why would my abdomen be so darn bloated ,and THICK?! Now, as far as the right side, ok, yesterday, and today, to some degree, i'm starting with this on the right side now too. It's not half as bad though.
It now feels like my RIGHT ovary is also feeling pain. OK, you all know i deal with IBS too, and when I called the nurse today, to see if there were any cancellations, i talked her ear off about this, well, i was scared! I mean, just a little while ago, jsut before I called, my lower back, down by the small of your back, was burning! yeah! BURNING, and almost sort of cramping! So, when i called her, she said, that yes, it could be a cyst causing all this...but, to her, she felt it was the IBS....she said, IBS can cause EVERY ONE of these symptoms,,,,,from the back burning and spasms, to the ovary pain, (bec. the intestines wrap around there), to, well....all of it, everything i just typed. Now, i found that a little odd....so, my question is........everyone with either IBS...or cysts... or whatever...please post, and tell me if this sounds right? was she right?

She thinks it'll be no problem with me waiting till monday, but I do! I mean, i'm frightened, AGAIN! I'm sitting here, wanting to reach into my vagina, all the way up, through my cervix, and just pull out my ovaries! DARN! that's the feeling, seriously! that's what it makes me feel! The only other times in my life that i had that feeling, was when i had my two miscarriages, back in the early '80's.....i had two miscarriages in between my first and second son.....I was about 10 weeks along.....but, the point is....for a few days before, I felt this same feeling in me...this wanting to shove my hand in there, and grab "something" (rem. i didn't know what that feeling was then, bec. the miscarrige had not yet started to happen), yet, I KNEW something was "wrong"!!!!!!! Well, i was right, and within a few days, the bleeding began, and in a few hours, well, my baby came out...this was all very sad for us. That was the only time I've seen my husband cry. But, what I'm saying is....this is the same feeling. I didn't have any lower back symptoms then, like i do today. When those miscarriages were about to happen, I just felt somethig was wrong, and I didn't know what. But, i knew it was. Now, that's the feeling i have now.....and yet, i know darn well, PERI can absolutley make you think that way too! So i could be totally wrong...which i know. It's just that....well, I'm believing myself. I don't know if i should or not. When you get that feeling that something is "wrong" inside you, you tend to go with it, bec. ususally you're right. I was, then...both times.
Yet, peri can play on your mind that way too. I forgot where I'm going with this..I'm so scared and I'm just rambling on and on.....hoping that someone will post and say, "hey, it's ok, i've had all this too, don't be scared, it's prob. just peri".....I was MID cycle, a few days ago...if that matters. I also noticed that, last night....the pain and aching down in the left abdomen, areound the ovary area, was BAD...but, I got up, to clean the house a little, to take my mind of it....and lo and behold, the pain/ache went away...weird. Now, for about an hour before that, i was sitting on the couch, having to squish my left abdomen together, (from top to bottom), so that i wouldn't feel the DEEP ache in there...which brings on terrible anxiety flushes! (hey, thats another thing, how many adrenal glands do we have,,,i know we have a set of them in the solar plexus, but anywhere else, bec. i would swear to all of you, that there are parts of my body, that get anxiety,,,oh yes, the actual part of the body feels anxiety...it's not JUST in my emotions, my lower abdomen feels anxiety..it's freaky....the only one who understands this is my middle son, who is 23, he gets the same thing). But, when i got up to clean, just basically sort of polishing the furniture, it was gone. I was thrilled. That lasted all night, but then i got this weird off balance thing that hit me, and i became panicky, bec. i thought this was just another symptom of something serious building up.
My dear husband, who has the patience of a saint, and is my strength, just hugs me and says "honey, it's PERI", but then naturallly i think, "he doesn't really know"....oh man, this is awful.....this fear is to much. So, when I called my dr.'s office and go the nurse, (I got he nice one this time..lol), she told me to take a xanax,...and that the back spasms and burning are also IBS, and the feeling of wanting to rip someting out bec. it feels wrong in there, is also, from just about ANYTHING that can be bothering me,....including IBS. Here I am thinking, ovarian cancer, ovarian cyst, fibroids....

ok, I'm trying not to panic, but I 'm glad i can come here and vent......I know you've all heard this a lot latley, so, I want to thank you for replying! If anyone has this, or somehting similar....please, let me know. I didn't know IBS could actually cause ALL of this!

thank you ladies, if it weren't for this place,,,,i'd loose it! sincerely, mydarling

oh and P.S.- i notice that my urine was a darker yellow yest. and today, and a little cloudy, i hope that doesn't mean anything,...a friend of mine said she gets that too. maybe it's hormonal.

Have you had any pelvic unltrasounds to check your endometrial lining? Last fall I was having a heavy feeling in my pelvic area, painful too>even my colon hurt. Felt like my uterus weight 5 pounds.
My lining was thick and I had to have a D&C last Novemeber. Now that heavy feeling is gone!

My gaso doctor told me you can tell if you have IBS, when you go to sleep so does the IBS, meaning you won't have any bowel problems while sleeping, no pain no diarrhea etc.

try drinking more water and see if the color of your urine clears. Vitamins can also turn it dark yellow.

mydarling..you poor girl! It is so terrible when our bodies go crazy on us, and our minds are right behind them! I know how hard it all can be. maybe you could try and be more logical and less emotional about what you are feeling? I mean try and seperate yourself from you body, and look at it as merely a vessel that carries your soul....and look at your symptoms from that of an observer, rather than getting caught up in fear, healthy anxiety, panic, etc. I do realize this is much easier to say, than to do...but when your anxiety is high, which yours obviously is, our pain can be amplified. What could normally be interpreted as something minor can become HUGE during this crazy time.

Even if there is "something" wrong, like you think, it could be something minor, so try and relax and keep yourself busy. Distract yourself, anything it takes to not think about it! And take the Xanax if it helps, stay calm. Stressing yourself really CAN make you sick!! So do what you can to get rid of the stress. Meditate, read, do a crossword, whatever you can to occupy your mind!!

Take care, and I am sure everything will turn out ok for you.

Floater

Hi Mydarlin
I really hope you are feeling a little better now....you post was yesterday so hopefully you are feeling a little more calm and pain free now.
Firstly dark yellow urine normally means you are dehydrated.....so lots of water (just like floater) is the order of the day!!
(It can also be caused by certain vitamin supplements).
Secondly IBS can cause very bad cramping of the intestines so often could feel very like labour/miscarraige.
Thirdly ovulation pain can at times be very bad.... it is possible that you were experiencing ovulation pain along with your IBS which would account for it being mainly one sided.
I am not medically qualified but if your symptoms go away when you are distracted or busy it sounds as if this is a mixture of ibs and peri......so please try not to worry.
I do understand the panic.... I am having adrenal problems linked to my chemical sensitivities which cause huge floods of adrenaline (and a feeling of panc) so can sympathise.
Float is right in saying that detachment is the best defence. Separating yourself from you body and observing the symptoms logically can still the panic... talk to yourself as if you were your best friend. What would you say to a good friend if she were having the same symptoms? also Floats advice to keep busy and distract yourself is good. I find reciting the alphabet backwards staves off a panic attack!
However if you are EVER worried about symptoms then doctors are paid to see you and help you.
Being worried/concerned/scared about a symptom is a good a reason for visiting a doctor.. don't let them fob you off.
When you phone the doctor/nurse/receptionist try try try to be calm and logical. If you are in a panic you will just be written off as "neurotic". Make a written list of your symptoms and preplan what you want to say (NOT what you think could be wrong) and say that you WANT an appt as you feel that your symptoms warrant it. If the person on the end of the phone says no then ask to speak to someone else. Insist calmy and firmly that you are concerned and wish to be seen. I am not sure what the rules are in the US or wherever you are but in the UK doctors have to see you within 48 hours if you say you feel it is an emergency. (although the receptionist tries every way to fob you off and you often have to see the nurse first). Keep stating calmy and firmly that you wish to be seen.
Try when you go to the doctors visit to stay calm... again if you show you are are panicky you will be written off as neurotic , this gets written on your notes and you will become just "one more neurotic woman".
Dress smartly for the doctor, explain your symptoms, ask what the doctor thinks it could be.
If he/she gives a diagnosis that you are not suer about say you agree that that is probably the cause but you would like the reassurance of further examinations/ tests to be sure. Calmy insist!
From reading you post it sounds to me that you are seeking reassurance that this is Peri/ IBS...... It is highly likely that it is... but it is always best to be checked out.
I haven't read your pervious posts.... I assume you are being treated for the IBS and have had tests related to this?
Have you tried yoga and meditation techniques to help with anxiety?
Have you investigated food intolerances for the IBS?
Love and HUGS Lindy xxxxx

My Darling:
Please don't take this the wrong way, especially since due to not having an understanding in early peri about everything that was happening, I was REALLY scared about every little thing that happened..Have you ever considered taking a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Course? Many of the hospitals and communities offer it and I have found it invaluable to help with some of these more difficult symptoms/times. If you can't get to a course, read the book, "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn...It really helped me to realize that "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well", a favorite quote of mine from Juliana of Norwich.
With much love and concern.
Avi