Hi everyone:

I really need to vent. Have any of you just had one of those days when all your husband did is grump about everything? I mean really grump. Grumping about the snow, grumping about his job and then saying stuff like "Well, if it wasn't for you and our son, I wouldn't be living here that is for sure" Now that really makes one feel good. Don't get me wrong, when my husband and I got married 26 1/2 years ago, he was the most fun person you could want. He has been great and we have had a great marriage but just lately, he has been getting miserable and depressed. I know he is going through a midlife crisis for lack of a better word. I can see it and I have told him and encouraged him to find a different job. I don't even care if he gets a pay cut I just want him to be happy. I told him we can go get a snow blower (don't get me wrong, I shovel too and love the exercise) The thing is, I know it is up to HIM to change and do things not me. It has been hard as I am finding it very hard to live with this miserable person.

Mopsy

Hang in there, and keep showing your love, support and encouragement. Men are allowed bad days too . Chalk it up to his version of MENo.

Mopsy
Oh.. "grumpy old men".. we have a tv program here in the UK called that (we also have one called "grumpy old women " lol)
We are not the only ones going through a "change".
Ours is more physical.. theirs seems to be more mental.... my dh grumps most of the time. When I pick him up about it he denies he has been doing it. I have threatened to record him a number of times to prove it!
Men of a "certain age" suddenly seem to become acutely aware that they are no longer "young" and either try to recapture their youth by wearing ridiculous clothes and going out with their mates or going into the "grumps". I'm not sure which is worse.
We read on PS about us women bemoaning that we are no longer young but for men it must be just as difficult. We bemoan out lost looks and body shape.
Men judge themselves on their virility, strength and stamina. They also become acutely aware that there are much younger men at work!
There is also the "if I had not had children I could have..........". Women (usually) get a lot of satisfaction and self esteem from having raised children. I think men sometimes think they just been to work to support them! Especially when the kids are breaking the bonds and are totally ungrateful!
He mentions "if it wasn't for you and our son I wouldn't be living here".. does he know then what it is yearning for? Have you both talked about it?
I personally went through a phase a while back when I so wanted to move away from where I live in a city. My dream is to move Cornwall (a lovely part of southern England) and have cottage on the cliffs. I have wanted this for a long time. I reached a realisation that I am unlikely to get it.... I am unlikely ever to have enough money! Luckily my dh has a similar yearning.
Our solution has been to purchase a (cheap) 2nd hand caravan and are looking forward to the weather getting better and some nice long weekends away and long cliff walks!
This is a difficult time for couples... the woman getting meno symptoms (we are not the best company ourselves sometimes are we?) and the man getting the "grumps". You are changing , he is changing.. hopefully you will both emerge in thee same place!
I am sure you and your man love each other.... you will get through this. Just keep the lines of communication open and I find that humour is a good way to handle things sometimes. A bit of gentle teasing can work wonders!
Hugs Lindy xxxxx

Hey thanks you wonderful women. I knew I would get a different perspective and outlook on this.

My hubby thinks the grass is greener and thinks anywhere than here is better. He is so afraid of being born and dying in the same town. We have talked about moving by Lake Michigan and I am all for that but he can't seem to find a job that he would like. So, I have told him, it doesn't matter where you live, but where and when you travel. We are planning a week escape by the lake this summer.

Thanks again, your thoughts are so appreciative. I so value them.

Hugs
Mopsy

Why do people need to move town? A lot of old school friends look down on those who remained in the same town... but what have they got? Them! They just left their families and old friends behind. What we have got is a lot of people with no family support (even if you don't always like them )

I highly recommend getting a caravan!

Much cheaper than buying a new home, and one can have amazing adventures. You can park in one place for a couple of weeks, or really hit the road and visit many places and museums, natural parks, etc.... Because you have your "home" with you, dining costs can remain minimal; in fact, the only big expense aside from the caravan itself (we bought ours second-hand), is the fuel. We do a lot of weekend treks not all that far from home (we live quite close to the ocean, and not far from lovely mountains).

One brings along food, a few changes of clothing, and lots of good books, even videos, as ours has a TV, which we appreciate on bad-weather days.

Here's a link to our adventures if you'd like to take a look. It was a lifelong dream of ours (we've been married 30 years, and spent a looooong time saving up for our RV). IF YOU CAN, GO FOR IT!!!

http://airstreampictures.typepad.com/pictu...7/09/index.html

((HUGS))

JJ

I love your blog. The pictures are stunning and it looks like you have tons of fun. I think this might be an idea worth considering. I do worry about the price of fuel though but then, you save on hotel costs, eating out etc. mmmm I think it is time to go out and price these RVs.

Mopsy

WOW JJ!! Fantastic! I especially loved the photo of the boat in the fog...looks like it is just floating on a cloud! Spectacular photographs.

JJ...I just went through your blog. WOWZA, you did a fantastic job. The photography is stunning. You guys 'looked' to have had a terrific time on your adventures.

Cheers!
SusanC

Hi JJ,
Wow what lovely photos. They show so much life that can be seen if you take a look around and take things at a slower pace rather than a fast pace.

Thankyou for putting them up they were so worth the look.

From Deb.

JJ,
Your blog is just fantastic and your photographs stunning. My husband and I also love to travel around like this but the caravan sounds like a great idea as we have only done so by car (staying in hotels). Thanks for sharing. Arla.