hi ladies,

I posted here a few days ago, about a bad lower backache, that just wouldn't stop! I had it for about 2 weeks or so...it was located in the lower lumbar region, down around the small of your back, where it curves. It would move from side to side, and even up the spine to about the middle of my back, running right along the left side of the spine. I tried all the creams and rubs, they would help a little, but not much, and I tried Aleve and Advil, and had the same results as the creams. OK, well, TODAY, the backache is gone, finally! But, TODAY, there are NEW symptoms! Yep. This morning, upon waking, I felt so darn sick, nauseas, and "shakey", just plain old SICK. I noticed that I had this awful "pre-period" feeling in the lower abdomen, down around your ovaries, you know that feeling when you're going to get your period any day, and it feels very heavy, and almost "churning" down in there? Yeah, well, that was the feeling. It felt like i was about to get my period any moment. The thing is, I JUST GOT OVER IT, the day before yesterday. My period this month was "normal", coming on the 26th day, as usual, with no real problems. But, I ALREADY had that backache, for about a week or more, when i got my period .... but i noticed, on the first day of my period, the backache stopped! So, i naturally thought, ok, this was hormonal (plus, as i had mentioned in the earlier post, i had been REALLY cleaning my house these last few weeks, so maybe that used muscles in my back i hadn't used in a while, i don't know).....BUT THE BACKACHE CAME RIGHT BACK anyway, the second day of my period......ok, so fast forward to TODAY. I woke up with that awful SICK feeling, and that "pre-period" feeling in there, and it made me feel very weak, and very very exhausted. (i'm sure all the house cleaning has added to that). All I wanted to do was sleep, and boy, I did! But, later this afternoon, my husband and I were sitting on our porch, just talking, and I felt pretty good,,,,a little nauseas still. I got up to go to the bathroom, (urinate), and lo and behold, there's blood on the tissue paper! Well, to be honest, that scared me a lot! I mean, my period was over the day before yesterday. Now, I know that this may not be unusual for peri, and I know many of you ladies have had this, and worse....such as two periods in a month. I realize, that since my period was just over, perhaps, this was some leftover stuff. There is no foul odor to it either, it's basically jsut sort of a darkish blood brown. But, I became very panicky, because my mother died of ovarian cancer when she was just 57, in 1988....so, now, naturally, I'm thinking the worst here.

To top it all off,,,,,as of about two hours ago, I started having this burning/stinging feeling under my labia, ,,NOT up in the vagina itself, just inside the "lips".....and it seems to go all the way around to the back, to my rectum. THIS IS NUTS! I don't feel good at all.....the nausea has SOMEWHAT subsided, but not altogether. I feel very weak, and exhausted.
My husband, bless his heart, is trying to be "strong" for me, and reassure me that all this is peri, combined with the day after day after day, cleaning binge i went on for a few weeks.... but, you know how the mind works! FEAR takes over.
I'm the kind of person, who puts "2 & 2" together, methodical, i guess. So, to me, i feel SICKLY, nauseas, this blood "stuff" is coming out (very little), and I feel shakey, weak, and I have this lousy pre-period feeling down in there to boot! So, here I go....PANIC CENTRAL.!

Now, back in Feb. of last year, (11 mos. ago) I had a full pelvic, and a PAP, and a blood test, to test for cancer....all came back fine. But, my mind, is panicking! Bec. you begin to think, "well, that was almost a year ago....maybe by THIS time, some kind of cancer has developed in there"....then my husband has to remimd me that, these "symptoms" just CAME ON ME SUDDENLY after i started cleaning the house....you know,,,the backache, the weak tired, exhausted feeling....etc....right.
HOWEVER, NOW, I have this nausea, (comes and goes), this SICK feeling, this exhausted feeling, and now, this weird burning/stinging feeling in my vulva area (under the lips). I'm sitting here, panicking.

I spoke to a woman who lives down our road, who has been a nurse for almost 30 yrs....i explained all this to her, she knows I'm 50 yrs. old now, and in peri .... she herself had a very rough time of peri too. She told me that this all sounded to her like peri symptoms, all of it. I explained to her about my mom, and she said, that if I had the PAP, the pelvic and the bloodwork last year, and it all came back good...that even IF there were cancer in there, it wouldn't show up that fast .... and the symptoms would just pop on you during the time of a few weeks....it's just that, I read that with ovarian cancer you DO get a lower backache, and now, i feel this awful sickly, pre-period feeling in there...along with the stinging under the labia.....all mainly today (except that backache). AT LEAST THE BACKACHE IS GONE today, thank God. She also explained to me, that if this were ovarian cancer, the backache wouldn't come and go.

See, I wish I could remember more of what happ. to my mother, bec. my husband was in the Air Force at the time, and we were stationed overseas, and so, my sister kept me abreast of what was happening to my mother. This was very hard for me, and I visited her a few times, but eventually, when it got bad, it moved quickly, and within a few weeks, she was gone.
I didn't get to be there for her right then. But the point is, I don't remember if she herself had a backache, i don't recall hearing that. I don't remember hearing if she had that pre-period feeling, or some blood either (but with me, right now, I just finished my period, so i realize it could be just left over stuff). I've been trying to call my sister, so I can get some more info. but she's not answering right now....she will call me back. In the meantime, I really do need to have some reassurance and support here.....if anyone has had anything similar, please post it! I'm probably just getting crazy, but I feel so frightened. I laid on the couch, in a fetal position, afraid to get up, afraid of the next symptom....with these crazy fearful thoughts going through my mind! THIS IS AWFUL! If I had had any of these symptoms SEPERATLEY, (say, if I had had JUST the backache, or JUST the left over blood, or JUST the sickly feeling), I wouldn't be so nervous....I get nervous bec. they are all together, and to me,,,that seems like something is wrong....again, i realize I could be loosing it here, i know that. Now, I am calling my dr. on Monday, and telling him I need to see him again, i want a full pelvic, PAP and bloodwork again....I dont' think it's to soon, it's been almost a year.

ladies, thank you for listening to this panicky woman! thank you for being there......sincerely, mydarling

awwww...my darling, dear...you are reacting to so many things.....yes the housework threw your back out and every one little thing leads to another....sounds to me like the almost a period and bit of blood on the tissue added to your already overtaxed nerves......nerves then get over done and low and behold they create a new symptom...burning vulva cuz of couse your are thinking 'I have what Mom died of'....been there done that....and do it all the time....breath deep dear....relax.....you are fine.....easier said than done I know....I have been in your shoes too many times to count....stay strong, move on.....you are NOT your mother....mine died young too and it has haunted me my whole life....I am now 5 years OLDER than she when she passed and still wait for the shoe to drop......new favorite saying is "aging is not for sissies"...attribute everything to that....peace darling....you will prevail...

Dear "my darling",

First, I think you should give yourself a big pat on the back for posting. And in such detail. I think that sharing and emoting are perhaps the best medicine of all.

I have to repeat CA's fabulous line that "aging is not for sissies." Indeed it is not.

You are having so many feelings and fears. If I were you, I would

1. Go to the doctor to make sure there is no illness per se. It would make me feel better to know that there is nothing that needs medical intervention.

2. Realize that health anxiety seems to be at the top of the list during peri and even meno itself. You are in such good company in that regard. I am sure that in a few days, you will have responses from many of our meno sisters who all fear the worst.

3. Try your very best to distract yourself when you feel anxious. Take one small step. When I feel anxious, I find something to clean up in the kitchen. Then I congratulate myself and try to move onto something else.

4. Come here to post as much as you feel like. There is such a strong community of women here. I myself have been saved from the pit by this wonderful group.

Things will get better. Hang in.

Marcy

My Darling,
Listen to Marcy, she is the wisest of the wise......having been to hell and back......how about sudoko, crosswords.....find a computer game....test twist at yahoo has saved me some days .....very distracting......let us know how you are doning....

mY DARLING,

I HAVE TO AGREE, EMOTIONALY YOU WILL NOT FEEL BETTER IF YOU DON'T GO TO THE DOCTORS. IN ADDITION TO THE PELVIC, AND BLOODWORK..ASK FOR A VAGINAL ULTRASOUND. THE PAP ONLY TESTS FOR CERVICAL CANCER, DOESN'T TEST FOR OVARIAN CANCER.

I AM POSITIVE YOU ARE FINE, AS MY PRACTITIONER SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY SYMPTOM SHE WOULDN'T SAY BELONGS TO PERIMENOPAUSE, THERE IS SO MANY.

BUT FOR REASSURANCE I WOULD ASK FOR VAGINAL ULTRASOUND, IT MEASURES THE OVARIES AND LOOKS FOR MASSES, AND ABNORMALITIES. IT IS A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE ONLY BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU HAVE A FULL BLADDER. BUT NOT TO BAD FOR PEACE OF MIND.

GOOD LUCK,

TERRI

HI mydarling!

I just want to tell you that i get low back pain on and off, but i know that all the time i bent down i get it the next day. Is went i'm cleaning or trying to work in my yard ( don't do it no more ) for this reason. But another thing that help me is that went i get the pain i massage on the very back side of my calf down to my feet and the pain is taken care. It works for me and could be for you, just try and see what happen. You don't feel the pain but the pain is there if your back pain comes from your calf. Another thing can be your pelvic walls that are lacking of estrogens and that produces, vaginal prolaps and this is very common on menopausals woman, just like me. So for this the best thing is abdominal excersices, to tight the abdominal walls.


menoqueen

Darling,

I agree that Marcy has given you some really good advice. I think you'll feel much better after you see your doctor. I think we all have the health anxiety to some degree, and distraction and coming here to voice your concerns are both very good ways to cope with it.

Take care, hon, and take heart in the fact that you have many friends here who care about you and are willing to listen always, okay?

Best wishes to you,
Deb