Hi Girls,
I have been agoraphobic, so to speak, for about 7 months..i go out but nowhere in particular, but stay near home. Have not been to the store for 6 mo.

I have been working on CBT, breathing techniques, and relaxation cd's and after praying about it I have commited (why can't I spell this word right now )to volunteering at the church 1x per week down the road from me. I have also been recieving couseling there every other week. I will be cleaning, this was my business before becoming so anxious a year ago and leaving.

I feel mixed emotions, excited to be breaking out of my so called self induced prison a little and interacting with the world and scared because I don't want to let people down and now they are depending on me, although they say if it was too much right now they would adjust to my comfort. I start next week and am trying to not let the typical neg. thoughts that would stop me have too much of an impact. This baffles me I used to go into strangers houses, act confident in whgat I could do for them to help them, be able to give an estimate confidently knowing my quality and usually get the job...now I am nervous about something I have done most of my life. I know I will work through it, but wow what a change in who I am.

Just wanted to ask for prayers for this big step.
Hugs Mikki

Mikki,

Good for you. You will do fine, just take things slowly. All the best to you.

Plumeria

Mikki,

I will definitely pray for you. Good for you for taking this big step....I know you'll be just fine and you'll do a great job!! I am excited for you and will look forward to hearing all about it afterwards, so please let us know how it goes for you, okay?

Take care, and God bless you!

Deb

Good for you for taking those first steps!! They are the hardest!! Take it slow and easy, remember your CBT and you will be ok!! You should be proud of yourself. And eventually the "you" you used to know will come back around...it just takes time and effort. I will be thinking of you, and also look forward to hearing about how it goes for you!

Dear Mikki,

Way to go!

As someone who has also suffered from debilitating agorophobia, I can so empathize with your feelings. As the others said, take it slowly, focus on the CBT training, and be very very kind to yourself. The fact that you are able to make a commitment speaks volumes about your progress! Remember that this is a step by step process. If you can't make it one day, don't berate yourself! You are on the way and every small step is a triumph.

Please keep us posted. And please feel proud of yourself.

Best,
Marcy

((((((((((((Mikki))))))))))))))

I so know what you're going through. You should be so proud of yourself to have the courage to want to get out and do something about your situation. I have bouts of agoraphobia too.....very debilitating and I had been alone through a lot of it. Thank God I still was able to go to work even though I didn't function very well. If it weren't for some good friends I don't know what I would have done. I am having some trouble at the moment as well but I try and force myself to get through it. I have terrible panic disorder from a traumatic childhood.

Hugs,
Karen

Thats great sunflower! I have anxiety sometimes and I know how it can effect your life.I remember seeing this woman on Oprah once.She said she suffered for years not being able to leave the house then one day she said I'm going out if it kills me,and now she's famous and on TV.I believe once you take the first step you won't look back. You've got a lot of love and support being sent your way!!!

Congrats! I teach piano once a week. I am in a good sized room but there is floresent lighting. I am so grateful that I only do it once a week. I can steip out into the fresh air quite often and that helps so much. I just cant feel trapped.

You can do it. Just remember it is only one day and you are volunteering, and not getting paid. Go outside every now and then, get by a window. Get in your car at lunch and go thrifting for a great vintage item that our mothers used.

TREMENDOUS!!! (I'm having trouble with that word ;0) LOL!
That is wonderful news!!!!!!
Remember...even the longest journey starts off with the first step :0)
Enjoy your new start back to your life :0)
Please keep us posted!

Hugs,
Girlsmom

Great work Mikki! We are all so proud of you! Little by little, step by step we will get back to normal!! Keep up the good work - you are an inspiration!

Melis

Mikki-YOU GO GIRL...you are a real hero to us...keep us posted on your progress and know you are in all of our thoughts and hearts....NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR OWN POWER!!!!
Love, Linda

thankyou for all of your thoughts and encouragement.

I DID IT!! I got through...and it wasn't bad at all. It helped that the people I was with were great.

I didn't sleep much last night, probably subconcious thoughts going wild. I went o bed at 11 or so and woke up at 1 ish in a pool of sweat...I mean it was so bad I could feel it dripping off my arms and all the way down to my knees I was soaked...I never had a night sweat like that usually it is just my chest and neck. I was up from then on pretty much with maybe a little shut eye around 4.
So I am thinking great of all days to have no sleep, but I just told myself this is what people do they function anyway the best they can even though they feel tired.
I got there and had to wait for the person who would show what to do for about 15 min. he was out snow blowing...this was probably the most dificult part of the whole time there. Sitting with my thoughts...as I sat I felt very figity, and was letting the urge to bolt pass.
I picked up a book on the table and it was full of nature pic's I love nature especially in winter, it had scriptures with the pic's and there was Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." I immediatly calmed and knew I was right where I was supposed to be. throughout I kept my focus on my task...not going to say my mind didn't wonder from time to time but old habits die hard.

It felt good to talk to people, strangers. To have conversations with others. I love my children and husband, but to communicate with the outside world was great. My husband even benifited he was home alone for a few hours...something he hasn't had in some time.

Anyway I am scheduled for every tues.

Thankyou again girls for the uplift.

(((((((((((((((Mikki))))))))))))))))))))

When I read "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up," you were definitely where you were supposed to be today - awesome and great job. I'm so happy for you.

Hugs,
Karen

Dear Mikki,

You are an inspiration to me! I have been trying to look for a way to get out of the house on a regular basis, but have not been able to follow through. I hope that reading and re-reading your post will give me the gentle push I need.

I am so very happy for you. Remember--feel proud of every step!

Best,
Marcy

Hi Mikki,
I just read this post and am soooooooooo happy for you!!!!! And so proud of you!!!!!!!!! That was a huge step and you did it!!!!! I would give you a big hug if I could, so here's a cyber one!!{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. What a perfect scripture God had ready for you to read.

Talk to you soon.
God Bless,
Love,
Faith

mikki - how wonderful! that's huge & you did great! your post made my day - i'll be thinking about you & wishing you all the best with each step no matter the size.

xo,
ellen