hi everyone....yeah, i know, this is a diff. sort of question, and i wasn't sure where to post it, i thought this particular forum was the best place ....

my question is: does anyone out there know how hormonal changes affect young males? to me, if OUR hormones affect us this badly, I'm sure that the testosterone and whatever other hormones floating around in the bloodstream of young males must ALSO affect them. Here's the issue, my 22 yr. odl son, is basically a great guy, sweet, gently, sincere .... BUT, for the last year or so, he's been "changing" into almost someone we don't know! He's become aggressive, angry, low self esteem, and basically doesn't like himself anymore, ALL OUT OF NOWHERE. Now, he's seen our family dr. abot this, and he basically suggested that this is what young males go through during this time of life, and that it'll pass. He gave him Lexapro, which I don't think he should take, and he agrees. Those AD's are not to good, and you have to get through the first 2 mos. anyway, when things actaully can get worse! so, NO THANKS! this is hard enough! He's taking xanax, when I can get him to take it. He's very down on himself, and feels like he is a worthless person, which is really killing me inside, it's breaking my heart! He's such a sweet, gentle, sensitive young man, a heart of gold. Yes, I'm trying to talk him into seeing a therapist, but he's to proud. I'm still working on it. But, my question is, does anyone out there, or HAS anyone out there, had any problems with their SONS?

i do so appreciate the help ladies......thanks ! Sincerely, my darling

Yes, Mydarling - I have had, and am continuing to have problems with my sons. My oldest is almost 19 and sometimes is like how you describe. He too is wonderful and a sensitive human being - but he can get angry and snappy. I think that he is seeing the world without my rose coloured glasses...and it's a scary place. He sees that I have struggled too in life and how I hard I work and he doesn't like it...doesn't want them for himself. I don't blame him.

Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to give my children anti-depressants either if they needed them. I know how well they work for me; and if they work for me, chances are they will for my boys. I have had a child psychiatrist confirm this to me as well. My husband DOES not share my opinion however.

I am going to a Depression Seminar this Friday for Adults/Children and I will report back on what I learn. It is being held for gifted children; one of my kids is "gifted" but he is a major nutjob at 15 and is giving up almost in school - "doesn't care" and I am worried. We hardly have any relationship of significance these daze...and he is somewhat alienating himself with his challenging discussions and outbursts. He does have friends though, but I would like to see him nurture a more pleasantly sociable outlook. At 15 though his hormones are raging and so are mine. All I can do is 90% keep my mouth shut and leave him alone. It feels lonely though. My husband and I differ to a degree in our approach as parents which is not good either.

I don't know if I am of any help to you but please know that some of this is normal teenage/early adult male behaviour. For me though it sometimes feels like watching a train wreck.

Sincerely,
Suz

My Darling:

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time with your son, and can understand why you are heart broken. At 22 years old I wonder if there is something else going on in his life than hormones. I would think, and I am no expert, that the hormone crazies would have passed by the time he was finished his teens.

Has anything happened in his life that could have hurt him? Woman troubles or someone being mean to him or something? Although I take anti-depressants myself, I agree I would be extremely cautious giving it to someone so young, they can have adverse effects on teens, and he isn't too far out of his teens.

I sure would encourage going to the therapist if I was you....there is no shame in talking to someone (sometimes guys can be idiots!!!) and maybe a therapist could get to the bottom of his issues.

I have a son who is sweet, gentle, sensitive with a heart of gold....I would be very upset if he suddenly became angry and aggressive. Another thing to consider.....and you won't want to....is could he be doing drugs? Nobody wants to think their kids could be doing such a thing, but it has become a problem of epic proportions in our society, and it could explain why he is exhibiting personality changes.

My heart is breaking for you and your family and I hope you get to the bottom of your sons problems quickly! I wish you the best.

Kathie

SO SORRY MD ABOUT YOUR SON. I'M THINKING THE XANAX MIGHT BE DOING IT TO HIM. SOMETIMES CAUSES ME TO RAGE AND GET ANGRY. HUGS TERRY

I'm beginning to think that fluctuating or abormal levels of hormones are one primary cause of psychological problems. mydarling, maybe you can talk your son's doc and your son into having him tested. What if it turns out he's got an abnormally high testosterone level or some other hormonal problem ? I don't think he'd be too proud if a doc came back with some concrete test results. And if it's not hormones, at least then you've excluded them as the source of the problem.