Connie,

I hope this IBS won't hang around too much. I hate it. I would rather have the palps. The thing is, no one's being able to explain this twingeing stitch-like pain on the left side of my abdomen, and this is what makes me afraid. I keep thinking it's something horrible!

My friend in Spain is still going through all her problems, and just a few weeks ago she started having hot flashes. Surprise, surprise! Anyway, nothing is resolved for her yet and she's hanging in there, trying to get through each day.

Laura,

I lost my mother just over a year ago and it was shortly thereafter that I lost my period for 4 months and that's when I went on the natural progesterone. Recently I've had a health scare with a breast lump and the stress was so bad that I lost my period again, it's been just over 2 months now and my hot flashes came back, despite the natural progesterone. Now I have this IBS thing that is worrying me, and I also think about death. Not so much what happens after death, but how I'm going to die. After seeing both my parents suffer before they died, I was traumatised. I've done a lot of reading about death and all tha stuff, but I'm still afraid of how I'm going to die, and when. Obviously I'm not ready to go right now, but when I think of all the symptoms we go through I sometimes wonder if my time has come! I HATE MENO!!!!!!

Anyway, as we have no control as to when we'll die, I guess we have to accept it and live each day as it comes.

What a morbid subject, huh?

Have a nice day all!

Love, Sylvia

Connie and Sylvia,

Thanks for replyig and the words of comfort. You know that old saying that when someone or several people experience the same thing you do, it seems a little easier to handle, and reminds you that you are not alone. I think that works alot for me. Yeah...can't wait to get the new physician on May 1st. I am taking all my meds in to her and get some things straigtened out. Dont get me wrong, I loved my last male dr. in Dallas, but the last 2 visits with him, he keep slowly closing his eyes as if to fall asleep. I am wanting so badly to get a women's group here in Katy Texas (Northwest) Houston to meet once a week somewhere just to talk about feelings and peri, meno and post and how to work together. I don't know, it is in my mind all the time, I even wake up thinking about it. Who knows!!! I am job hunting right now, and I swear, either no one wants to hire someone 50 years old, or by reading my resume they must think I won't stay long. It is driving me crazy. So what is so wrong with wanting out of the Corporate world and doing some kind of servant job or less stress job, if it makes you happy? Crazy companies!! haha. have a great day, Teri

Teri, I know what you mean about being 50 and people not wanting to hire you. They can't say it's because of your age, but you know that's the reason you lose out on some jobs. I will probably be in the same boat with you soon, looking for a new job at 54. What a pain, if I had managed my money better, I should have been able to retire. I can get a job at about any store at our local mall, but the pay cut would be horrible. My mother would roll over in her grave if she thought I was working at a job that didn't require my college degree. She worked so hard to help me get thru college. Maybe we should come up with some peri problem that we could claim disability then we could stay home and collect a check every month! I am talking to more and more people everyday that are on disability for the stupidest things. I would think heart palps should qualify! It seems like it more menatl issues that gets people a paycheck. Oh well, we will plug on! Connie

Don't worry, girls. It took me about 5 months to find a job outside of my corporate career (and I had to also overcome the fact that I live 2 hours from Sydney - where all the jobs are). But I stuck to my resolution to find a job locally and even though my pay is now half of what I used to get I don't care. Money isn't everything, and if you can survive on what you make that is good enough for me. At least now I don't have all the stress and the politics I used to have in my corporate roles.

Teri and Connie, I don't know about the laws in the States, but here in Australia you don't even have to divulge your age on a resume. I've changed my resume so many times and even shortened it so people cannot tell how old I am. And finally when I go to the interview and they meet me then they can make up their own minds about my experience and qualifications without the age thing. Besides, it's the younger people who are now frowned down on because the new generation leaves a job after only a few months. In Australia the trend is now turning and employers actually want older people for roles because they know that we will be more loyal and will stay on.

As for changing from the corporate life, in all my letters of application I have been totally honest with the employers and told them that after my mother's death my life has changed in so many ways and I have now made the decision to change to a job that will give my life/work balance. That's all the rage here!

So keep plugging on, and you will find the job that is right for you when the time is right.

Bye for now, Sylvia

Sylvia,
I have been meaning to ask you a question since you know so much about vitamins and alternative meds. Do you think flaxseed oil capsules, magnesium or calcium with vitamin D could cause weight gain? I am completely off the Lexapro for almost a month, I am eating way less, exercising more, and I am still gaining! Could it be any of those supplements? I don't know what else to do. I am getting so discouraged. I really thought it was the Lexapro since AD's are known for causing weight gain, but I haven't lost a pound since I have been off, in fact I am gaining. 5 pounds had went to 10 pounds to 15 pounds now to 20 pounds. I am afraid there is no stopping. Thanks for any info you can give me. The supplements have never done anything to help my palps so I wouldn't really care about stopping them. Talk to you later, Connie

Hi Connie,

I don't think it's the supplements, I think it's the estrogen dominance that makes us gain weight. I'm also struggling with this one. Apparently, natural progesterone is supposed to help us lose the excess weight, but this hasn't worked for me. I think we're just going to have to be stricter with our diets and exercise . Sorry I can't give you better news on this one!

Syl

Thanks Sylvia, I appreciate your help. I guess I am looking for a magic bullet and there isn't one. I am tired of feeling like crap on the inside with these blasted palps, now I look like crap on the outside with this extra weight I am carrying around. I know everybody says this, but 10 years ago if I missed a meal I lost 2 pounds. Now I would have to miss 200 meals to lose 2 pounds! How's the IBS? I have had diarrhea the last 2 days for what reason I dont know. Hot flashes have let up alittle along with the palps, maybe I getting ready for another period. Lord, when will this end? I am lucky though, most of the time except for the palps I feel pretty good. I can't ignore the palps, but aches, pains, bowel disorders and other miseries I usually can ignore. I was going to tell you too that in the US I don't know if you have to put down your DOB anymore on a job application. I did several years ago when I got the job I have now. My problem will be even if I get lucky enough for an interview they will see I am no young chick anymore. I probably look older than I am. In the US we worship young, skinny, good looking people thanks to Hollywood. My husband's company is a large food industry but they are hiring young kids right out of college with no experience and they don't care what kind of degree they have. My husband's boss has a masters in Art and Literature! Never thought us baby boomers would have such a struggle, we were the generation to rule the world! Now I am just trying to stay above water. It's the sh**s. I think I will go out for walk and try to burn off 6 ounces! Susie, how are you? Laura, good to hear form you. Connie

Hey All
Sorry I have not written in a while but one by one my family has had the flu and it has been hard to rid ourself of it
Even the anti biotics made us sick. But my daughter seems to be a little better. I think the trip to the hospitol helped a little when it comes to the fear.
The weather is getting better in Kansas and hopfully that will lift our spirits.
Sounds like there is still alot going on with everyone. Take care and I'll be back when I feel better.
Thanks for all your support.
Glen
Have any of you suffered from clammy hot flashes? When I put out any effert at all I become hot and clammy as if I were in Florida

Hi Connie

It seems if it's not IBS it's something else that plagues me. Yesterday on the way to work I had the most horrible acid reflux rise to the back of my throat. It was so bad that I almost threw up. This is the first time in my life when reflux has been so bad. I had it before, but never this bad. I was in a panic! I thought maybe I was having a heart attack or something awful like that. But nothing happened. I was simply off my food for most of the day and anxious. Have you had attacks of reflux since going into meno?

The IBS is still playing up - alternating between constipation one day and loose stools the next, and sometimes both on the same day! Is there an end to all this?

My palps were pretty bad yesterday. I was convinced for the first time in all this time that I was on my way to a heart attack!

The hot flashes are better though. I'm not getting as many, which is a relief. And the other thing is that I'm emotional a lot of the time and feel like crying at the drop of a hat. Thank God my hubby understands this, otherwise he might think I'm going looney tunes!

I'm now reading the new book put out by Dr Lee and Virginia Hopkins - basically it's a very simplified version of his orginal book, but this one is simply written and an easy read. In it, they talk about why women cannot lose weight, and the secret is that it's those simple sugars we take that sometimes we don't even realise we are taking. The body will always tap into our glucose reserve when we are exerting ourselves, but when the glucose reserve is down it taps into our fat storage (which is what we want)! So, if you're on a really good diet, like eating your proteins, fats, complex carbs (all in moderation), but you have a couple of cokes, that's it, you've blown your diet. They even say that diet sodas are just as bad! So the trick is to cut out all the simple sugars and eat the complex carbs, like the whole grains, proteins like lean meats, fish, chicken, and tofu, and fats like a little butter and olive oil. And that is it. And I know this is true because I studied this in my nutrition studies in the past.

I used to be on this diet, or eating plan, when I ate all the above good things, and then instead of exercising after meals (or shortly after meals) you exercise before meals. This way there is no sugars the body can tap into, only the fatty storage. By doing this I lost over a stone. But I was quite disciplined. And I really watched what I put in my mouth!

Anyway, day off today and it's a sunny one! Woo hoo! I'll be going for a walk later to shake the cobwebs. Let's hope I can shake the IBS, reflux, and whatever else is haunting me. And I agree with you about the Hollywood image. It's the same here, but not as much anymore. A lot of people are now talking against this image and people of common sense can see this too, even employers. Thank God my employer is only one year older than me and starting to go through meno herself!

Have a nice day.

Love, Sylvia

Connie, and all you girls out there ...

Remember I said I bought the latest Dr Lee book? Well, I have found the answer at to why my hot flashes came back even though I was using natural progesterone, but not only that - Connie, there is also something about why we cannot lose weight.

Read this excerpt taken from the book:

Chronic stress leads to chronic high levels of cortisol in the bloodstream, which creates a need for more hormones (eg. thyroid, insulin, progesterone, testosterone) in order to do the same job. According to Dr David Zava, who has studied the interaction of cortisol and hormones:

When cortisol is high the brain is less sensitive to estrogens. That's why you can have a postmenopausal woman with reasonable amounts of estrogen, but when you put her under a stressor and her cortisol rises, she'll get hot flashes, which are a symptom of estrogen deficiency. She really doesn't have an estrogen deficiency, the brain sensors have just been altered. If you then drive the estrogen levels up with supplementation to treat the hot flashes, she'll start getting symptoms of estrogen dominance, like weight gain in the hips, water retention, and moodiness. And the hot flashes usually don't go away. This is why you often can't effectively treat someone with hormonal imbalance symptoms such as hot flashes by simply adding what seems to be the missing hormone, be it thyroid, progesterone, estrogen, or testosterone. If your cortisol is chronically high you'll have overall resistance to your hormones. It's essential to address the stress factor if you want to achieve hormone balance.

What do you think about that? And get this, chronic cortisol levels cause weight gain around the waist; elevated blood glucose, which leads to insulin resistance; high blood pressure; osteoporosis; easy bruising; a susceptibility to fungal infections; and disorders of the immune system. And... because our brains do not sense the hormones if we have high cortisol levels, it means that we also get palps and all the other undersirable symptoms we get.

Interesting!

This book is worth its weight in gold, girls. It's called: Dr John Lee's Hormone Balance Made Simple. It only costs US$14.99, and if you are going to buy anything at all in the next few years I recommend you buy this book and read it cover to cover.

Finally, after having read it I understand why my hot flashes came back when prior to all the stress I had I was doing so well with the natural progesterone.

Bye for now! Syl

Hi girls,
I know it has been awhile and I'm sorry. It just has been such a stressful time in my life and I basically have just been doing housework, watching tv and trying to keep myself positive and calm. My palps have been doing ok. I think since I had all the tests I can just tell them to go jump in the lake. I feel so much better in that area. Like Sylvia has said all the while to ignore them. On the other hand I have been having alot of problems with the pain and soreness under my right rib area but it is lower which makes me think my colon is probably irritated. I had a few flares of the diarrhea again this week and have not been eating much and then I decided I need to eat so I fixed cube steak and gravy and mashed potatoes and corn the other night and about 2 hours later my stomache started to hurt in the area I told you about and it just felt sore. I remember when I had a colonoscopy years ago that when the scope reached that area I about came off the table and I was even sedated. Still having the hot flushes at night. Mostly my chest, neck and head but other times I feel my whole body is on fire. Dang, Sylvia you are right. This stuff is crazy. I do agree about the cortisol, as all the stress that I have had, even though my periods have been gone for 20 months could certainly contribute to why I am still having these at night. I do get them during the day sometimes as well.

Sylvia,
Sorry to hear about your acid reflux problem. I have had problems with heartburn for years but I think that my drinking coffee and smoking has caused alot of that. Since Meno though, I have had a few times where I woke up in the middle of the night almost choking, because it come up in my throat and almost took my breath away. I have had to get up and get something to drink. It is a scary feeling. I have read on other boards on here where alot of ladies have had more trouble with that.

Connie,
You really seem to be worried alot about your weight gain. Have you had your thyroid checked lately? I do know that if your thyroid is underactive it can cause weight gain too. I hope you can find an answer to it. I know it is bothering you alot. Are your palps worse too? Probably because you are so stressed out worrying about your weight. Like Sylvia said stress raises the cortisol levels. Hang in there and QUIT WORRYING!!!!!! I know, I should talk about not worrying.

Glen,
Sorry to hear about you all having the flu. I am looking forward to the warm weather too. It is in the 60's here today but it's going to drop to the 40's over the weekend and then go back up in the high 60's at the beginning of next week. My grass is getting so long. Probably going to have to mow next week. Can't wait. Getting on my rider is therapy for me. Putting on my headphones and listening to music. How did your daughters test results come out then? Did they say exactly what she was having?



Love, Susie

Susie

I don't know what's going on with us. I'm also having bouts of diarrhea lately. Yesterday morning I was kind of constipated, and then last night after dinner I had a tummy cramp and had the most horrible diarrhea I've had in a long time. Luckily, it was only one bout and didn't return through the night. But the niggling pain on the left side of my abdomen still bothers me - it almost feels like there is something there. And I can relate to you saying that when you had your colonoscopy you practically jumped off the table when they got to that part of your bowel.

When I had my ultrasound in December (it was a transvaginal one) when the doctor got to the lower left part of my abdomen I found it was really sore, but nothing showed on the ultrasound. Although I don't know if ultrasounds are meant to pick up abnormalities in the bowel.

Anyway, in the last few weeks my IBS has been so erratic I no longer know what to do, and the last bout of diarrhea really scared me. I'm not as courageous as you though, Susie, and I don't think I could go for a colonoscopy unless they put me out completely - and that means full anaesthetic. So I don't know what I'm going to do. I will have to ask the doc if I can have an MRI or something like that. Surely if there is something wrong in the bowel an MRI can pick it up!

So I guess this is contributing to my cortisol levels going up again. Interesting how last night I had so many more hot flushes than the night before. Probably because I was really worried about this pain on the left side and the diarrhea.

So how come you had a colonoscopy in the first place? Did they find anything? And can anyone explain to you why you're having this right-sided pain now? Hae you had any more tests?

God save us from this curse called menopause! i said to hubby this morning that I better hurry up and go and visit Italy, because if we leave it too late I might be dead. He was shocked I said this, but sometimes I feel like I have some horrible disease in there that is growing slowly and will kill me off

Right now I am very depressed about this and don't know what to do. I know I could go and have a colonoscopy, but I don't have the guts. I already had the occult blood test for the stools and all was normal - surely if there was tumour in there it would be bleeding, right?

Anyway, sorry to depress you with all this talk. Right now I need some reassurance.

Love, Sylvia

Hi Girls,
Interesting about the cortisol Sylvia. Ok, so what do we do about it? Stop stressing completely? How do you do that? Mine is palps, yours is abdominal problems, Susie has family stress and palps, how do you EVER stop stressing out? Die? Everyone says we must lower our stress levels, but no one ever tells us how. I guess you have to leave your family, go live on the beach or in a cabin in the mountains and ignore every ache, pain and palp. Good luck, if someone figures out how to de-stress I would like to know. I have had awful reflux the last few months. I didn't almost vomit, I have vomited that terrible bile tasting crap. I am living on Tums lately. Even water gives me heartburn these days. I guess I am still not eating right, but fruits and vegs cause me heartburn and reflux too. Several years ago I tried some of the acid reflux drugs, but they increased the skips so I stopped. I am afraid to try them again. Things still not good for your son Susie? I was hoping time was starting to heal some of his wounds. I have had some diarrhea and RUQ pain too off and on. Maybe something I ate or who knows. That stuff I ignore, palps I can't for some reason. Glen, I hope your family gets well soon. My daughters family is sick with colds. I have been so tired lately and that's not me. Maybe this extra tonage I am hauling around is making me tired! I might sleep all weekend. Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend, Coonie

I agree, Connie, I think we should all move to some island, but I'd rather go to Tuscany But I bet even if we took off for somewhere, we'd still find something to be stressed about

What is RUQ?

Syl

Hi,
Sorry, I used to type transcription for doctors and I still use some terms that they did to describe different things. RUQ is right upper quaderant, like where your gall bladder would be on your right upper abdomen. I learned alot from doing the transcription, but as goofy as I am I would always think I had whatever I was typing! I thougth the symptoms sounded so similar to my health anxiety at the time I had to quit so I wouldn't drive myself nuts. It was a good paying job though. Your new job going ok? My palps have been very good the last few days, buts lots of lower abdominal pain, almost like cramps from a period, but no period in sight. I am a happy camper without the palps. I think everything down below starts to change in size when our periods quit, maybe thats the pain. Sun is shining today so I may get out and try to clean up the yard some. Have a good one, Connie

Sylvia,
I was not brave when I had my colonoscopy, I just didn't know what was coming. Actually, I was pretty sedated because I didn't even feel the scope go in and up until it hit that part on my right side to go down. They did put me totally out then because I started cussing up a storm. I had mine when I was having alot of tummy trouble years ago. I had cat scans, MRI's, xrays, upper GI, and all. They kept saying it wasn't my gallbladder so the Dr. did a laproscopic , excuse me I can't think of the word. Where they search all over to see what's going on. Anyway, he found that although it didn't show up on tests, when he lifted my gallbladder, underneath it there was chronic inflammation and scar tissue from it. They couldn't see it on the scans since it was the under side of my gallbladder. No stones. He removed my gallbladder and then he also found a cyst on my ovary while he was in there and removed that and had it tested. It was benign. I would think that if there was anything really bad wrong that you would have had blood in your stool test. I know you are worried, but don't start thinking there is something that is going to kill you. I do believe that are thoughts are very powerful, so try to think positive thoughts.

Connie,
I have taken over the counter pepcid for years up until a little over a year ago and my Dr. put me on Nexium. I really don't think they made my palps worse because I had the palps bad before I started on it. I take one a day and I really am glad I have them. They have helped me alot. Maybe you can talk to your Dr. about starting on them. Did you ever try them? My son is still here with us and although she keeps calling him and telling him she loves him and all I think he has pretty much made up his mind he could never trust her again. He has papers from his attorney to file either dissolution or divorce. If she doesn't come to an agreement with him he will have to go the divorce way. He seems much more calm and happier now. It's been a long haul. My husband and I just keep praying for him to have the peace that surpasses all understanding which only Jesus can give him. I just depend on the Lord to handle it all and I had to ask him to take away the bitterness and anger that I felt toward her because it was just eating me up and I realized that. I hope you get to feeling better.


Love, Susie

Hi all,

My intuition tells me I have a very bad case of IBS, but I guess I want some reassurance from the doctor. My tummy still hasn't settled well and today my stools were very loose, with bits of food in them. Sorry girls, don't want to put you off

Connie,

I get crampy pain a lot, thinking I'm going to have a period and then it never comes. Could be a phantom period. I'm glad the palps are settling down a bit.

Susie,

Thank you for being so supportive. It sounds like you had a lot of experience with gastro things, and I can't believe you went through all that. But you're right, if something really horrible was happening I assume there would be blood in there, too.

I've had IBS before, but never this bad and this is why I am panicking, I guess. I am a big chicken deep down inside! And the thing is that I abhor medical tests and this is why I get even more stressed, thinking that maybe I have to have some more. I don't mind things like ultrasounds and x-rays or even blood tests, but when it comes to anything invasive, I'm out of there!

Only once in my life I had an invasive test, which was a cystoscopy (a look inside my bladder), and they put you under for this one. But while I was under, the cystoscope malfunctioned and it short circuited and I was electrocuted while asleep. When I woke up I had a severe electrical burn on my arm, which happened to be resting on the metal guard of the gurney I was lying on and thus became part of the circuit. Can you believe it? I could have been killed! And since then I vowed never to go to a hospital again, or let a doctor put me under or do any test that is invasive. And it was around this time that I started to go more and more into the alternative therapy things.

So in this case I think I will stick with my herbs and diet and try to de-stress (even though that's impossible right now, but I will try).

Girls, let me say that I am so glad you are my friends on this forum. Sometimes I don't think I could get by if it weren't for you two - and I mean this! I'm not just saying it.

How I wish we could all meet one day and have a nice long session of meno chit chat and then we could all relax!

Have a great rest of the weekend!

Love, Sylvia

Sylvia,
I am basically a big chicken too. Like you said, I don't mind the ultrasounds and all that but when it comes to the other stuff I am. I am beginning to think it might have been the corn that I ate that caused the soreness. You know, I always see corn and stuff like that in my stool and when I had the diarrhea really bad there was even lettuce in there. Sorry to gross you out.
That sounds horrible what happened to you. I would be scared too. I'll never forget when I had my son. I never took classes to have him natural but my Dr. showed up late so the nurse had to deliver him. I had no pain meds at all or anything. After he was born my Dr. came in and pushed the afterbirth out and started to stitch me up and I kept moving around. I had stitches from one end to the other and he only weighed 6lbs 11 oz. Anyway the anethesiologist decided to come in and get in on it and he put me out while he stitched me up and all I remember was I was calmly floating down a tunnel. It was like I was in a reclining position. I remember I wasn't scared or anything but after floating through this tunnel for awhile, I realized and said to myself, I got to get back up there, I have a baby to take care of. The next thing I know I heard this foreign anesthesiologist calling my name over and over again loudly and I had oxygen on my nose and mouth. I had my son at 6 am and my husband wasn't even told until after 7 when they took me to my room. He told me nurses and Drs. were just flying in and out of the delivery room and no one would talk to him. I think he gave me too much anesthesia and I really feel that I died. Then they wouldn't let me out of bed at all for 24 hours. So I am afraid of being put under for that reason. I had no problems when they took my gall bladder out but maybe this was the anethesiologists fault. I will never forget that.

Is your tummy hurting below the belly button or above? Is it sore? I think it's good that you are going to see the Dr. for your piece of mind. So much goes on in this period in our lives. The other morning I woke up and had the most horrible headache and I was so nauseated. I got up and took a couple tylenol and got a cup of coffee and it went away in about a half hour. But I thought to my self what in the heck brought that on? Hang in there and try to stay strong. And I want you to know that you and Connie mean so much to me too. You girls have been my strength many many times. I wish too that we could all get together. I am so thankful I found you my friends.

Love, Susie

Dear Susie,

You haven't put me off at all - my stools also had bits of food in it. Yuh! This happens when the food moves too fast through our digestive system and doesn't have time to bulk up, and that's why we get a runny stool, often with bits of food.

My tummy is generally not sore, but the left sided abdominal pain is really like a stitch rather than a pain, and yes, it is below the belly button and to the left. It could just be a pocket of inflammation. My naturopath thinks this is what it is due to the fact that I'm estrogen dominant - she says too much estrogen causes inflammation. This would make sense. Now, this stitch-like pain is sometimes there and sometimes not. So I figure if this was something horrible it would be there all the time! I remember when I had my breast scare and was waiting for my mammogram appointment - during those two weeks of worrying about the breast I didn't even get a twinge from my bowel. The minute I found out everything was okay with the breast my bowel problem came back. Interesting how the mind works. Right now though, I'm a bit fragile around the tummy, with vague pains here and there (on both sides). Who knows what is happening in there right now. Could just be hormones and stress. STRESS is our enemy!

I can't believe what happened to you while giving birth! My God, it's so scary! Imagine them giving you too much anaesthetic. I think you had a near-death experience, because I read heaps of books on this and they say that when someone has a NDE they get the feeling they are moving through this tunnel and they are quite relaxed. Some of them come back to their bodies after that, but others keep going further and meet up with relatives or angels, etc. Very interesting. Anyway, the hospital you went to sounds like they had very irresponsible doctors. Thank God you came back!

Do you find that when you get a bout of diarrhea you just have one motion, or do you have many motions through the day? I normally have one or two and then I feel very fragile inside my belly for the whole day. Right now I'm drinking lemon tea (which is great for stopping diarrhea and also had half an apple). Apples, rice, bananas are all good for stopping diarrhea. Tea is best (without milk), but whatever you do, don't have coffee! Coffee makes the bowel go. So coffee is good for when we are constipated.

I can't wait till we get through all these health problems. I just want some peace of mind.

I'm glad you cherish our friendship. I think it's great we all found each other, and I hope we can remain good friends even after the meno!

Love, Sylvia

Sylvia,
I am sorry you are having so much anxiety about your bowel situation. I have had diarrhea off and on for several weeks now. This morning my stool was very hard, but by lunch I had diarrhea! Go figure. I don't let it upset me, I guess it's my new peri problem for awhile. I also have a swelling under my left armpit, no lump, just sore and slightly swollen. I have had that off and on since I was in my 30's. Must be changing hormones too. I am like you, I hate tests. Not because I am afraid of pain, I just don't want to know if something is really wrong. I guess I figure what I don't know won't kill me. Dumb way to think, I know. I think I can outlast every symptom, and most of them I have. They get better before I give in and go to the doctor. Palps and the ovarian cyst were the only ones that outlasted me. It has been 2 1/2 years since I had the cyst and I still get pain frequently on the left side. It only lasts for a day or so, but it still shows up every few weeks. I hope once my periods disappear for good so will the ovary pain. Try to stay calm about the bowel stuff, you had alot of tests already and everything was fine. You aren't taking any natural products or supplements that are different that could be affecting you bowels are you? I have been backing down on the flaxseed oil capsules, calcium and magnesium, I think my palps are better without them. I hope you get to feeling better soon, it seems like on problem gets better and another crops up. Have a good week. Connie

Sylvia,
My diarrhea is usually one or two times also. I can have a regular or kinda regular one first thing in the morning and then the diarrhea usually hits me in the afternoon. I think that it is this change in our bodies. Why would we all be going through so many similar things if not. I also think our bodies being so normal when we were young and now the difference in them since starting these changes has just thrown us for a loop. I don't know about you, but for me when I was in my twenties and thirties I didn't have many aches, pains or problems. I guess I didn't even think about it. But once I hit around 40 or maybe somewhat earlier it seems it was one thing or another. I also think that our bodies changing like this is so strange to us because once we got into adolecense everything just seemed to flow evenly. This is probably such an adjustment for our bodies to get used to. It probably effects everything. I hate that we have to go through this. Some women just breeze through it and others have such a hard time. I do know that before I stopped having periods all together I had alot of twinges and pain in my lower abdomen. I am hoping that this will let up and go away for you. I always thought the worse too. Let us know what the Dr. says about this. When are you going? My symptom for the day is nausea. All I have had to eat today was some chicken strips and I have had nausea all day. DANG!!!

Connie,
How are you doing? How's your acid reflux and your palps? Isn't this just so much fun? LOL!!!!


Love, Susie

Good morning ladies.
I have been reading through this thread and find it all so interesting. I get palps that I feel are digestive related and it's good to know I am not alone. Mine are tight under the center of my ribs/diaphram. First it feels like my stomach is spasming, then sometimes the skipped beats, then at time pain into my back, like trapped gas. I lay flat, then burp like a truck driver. I've been tested like crazy and they say ibs and gerd. It is so unnerving at times, I try to ignore it and relax, and it is easier said than done. I am not happy any of you suffer, but glad to know I am not all alone. All the doctors tell me not to worry, I am lucky I am so healthy, I need to learn to relax more. And yes, I am lucky but relaxing isn't always easy and sometimes, it has nothing to do with nerves, it's just the way my stomach is.

Well, I hope you all have a palp free day today.

enough,
Welcome to our club. As you say, I'm not happy you have these problems but this is a great place to share your concerns. We try to support and help each other out as much as possible. I too notice that my skipped beats seem to happen much more after I eat. I have cut down my eating so much I am suprised my blood tests all turned out fine. I know they are hormone related too as my cardiologist said that they can be and I have had all the heart tests and I am fine. I am 1 yr and 8 months post and still having these and the night flashes. When does it end? I know too well about the back pain and a few nights ago I had the neck pain for the first time. That kinda freaked me out as it was something new. Glad you are here.

Susie

Enough,
I am glad too that you have joined us. I know how hard it is to ignore the skips. I will let you know if I ever find the key to that! Keep in touch with us, we are not experts, just women going thru the samething.

Susie, how are you? I was sick after reading your delivery story. I would have had my tubes tied the next day! I only had one child not because of a bad pregnancy or delivery, my daughter was very sick as a child and my nerves were on edge for most of her childhood. I didn't think I could face a second child with similar health concerns. She is fine now, but back then I couldn't handle all the worry. I guess that's where my anxiety about health issues first started. I still think every cough is cancer, every headache is a tumor, etc. See why I need my Xanax? I am such a nervous nelly. Are you staying calm about the problems in your son's life? I couldn't blame you if you didn't. His situation is major, you can't help but worry. Time will heal, but patience isn't one of my best qualities either. It's hard to wait for everything to go back to normal. My skips are good for now, but this swelling under my arm is driving me nuts. I have gotten it so sore from pushing on it all the time to try to feel if there is a lump. I have had this before, but it's been quite awhile ago. Have you ever had anything like that? Always something isn't it. Hope you have a good week, Connie

Connie,
I guess I was so young then, it didn't even faze me. I was 24 when I had my son and I remember that I wasn't afraid of dieing back then, but I wasn't ready for it either. My husband then had a vasectomy because he already had 2 sons from previous marriages but about 4 years later I really regretted it because I really wanted to have another baby. I thought about how my son would be an only child and if something happened to me he wouldn't have a brother or sister. I still to this day am concerned about that. Even more now that his wife didn't turn out to be the person I thought she was. I thought her and him would be together forever and have a family together. Boy did she ever fool me. I am coping but coping with my ativan. What do you think that thing is under your arm? Is it very big? Is it sore or just sore from you pushing it? That may be where your skips come in, because Like me you worry. Patience isn't one of my better qualities either.

Love, Susie

Connie

The swelling under your arm could be an ingrown hair. Did you check that out? If it's sore it means something is irritating it. Have a good look in the mirror and see whether you can see an ingrown hair. They can hurt like hell, especially if they get infected.

My palps also happen mostly after eating - I think this is something to do with the vagus nerve. Apparently it controls just about everything.

Susie

I'm sorry you're still not well. How is your neck pain? I always get neck and head pain (due to a car accident in '98), but since I've gone peri the symptoms seems to have exacerbated to a larger scale and these days I'm full of aches and pains everywhere. Going to my osteo helps a lot though, as does exercise. I am now back walking on my treadmill at home. They say that even if you don't take any vitamins, any progesterone, or anything else, exercise still has the power to balance out your hormones. So now I'm walking!

Enough

Welcome to our club. Connie, Susie and myself have been on this threat for quite a while and you might say we are the veterans here, but we have drop in guests all the time, and we all support each other. That's what it's all about.


Girls, overall I've been better lately (since I started taking fibre supplements my diarrhea has gone and my tummy feels a little better). I still have the twingy stitch-like pain on the lower left abdomen. But that is all.

I think I might be heading for a period (after 3 months of not having one), but I'm not sure. It could be a phantom one.

Well, off to work now. See you girls soon. Have a lovely day!

Love, Sylvia

Hello All,
I'm starting to dig out and feel a little better. At least I'm better enough to feel my palps again!!!!! So far my daughter is feeling better also and not to many events on the event monitor.
Is everyone looking forward to spring? The trees are starting to bloom. We have made it through another winter. The birds wake me up every morning singing. I wonder if they know about meno palps?
I'm looking old and tired and don't want to put on a swim suit but I'm going to enjoy this summer palps and all
Take Care All,
Glen

Hi Glen

So what did the doctors say about your daughter, or haven't they got enough results yet?

As you're going into spring we're in autumn and quickly heading for winter here in the mountains. It's getting colder and colder every day.

My palps have been good these last two days (I think I'm heading for a period after 3 months of not having any) and the only thing that is bothering me right now is the left sided lower abdominal stitch-like pain. At first I thought it was IBS, but now I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't hormone-driven. Do you think ovaries can hurt or be irritated?

I had an ultrasound this last December because of this chronic pain I get, and everything was normal. So I don't know what this could be, but it sure is driving me around the bend!

Enjoy your spring time!

Sylvia

Sylvia,
Yes I think your ovaries can hurt and everything is changing so much they must be protesting Funny how I use to not notice every little thing my body was doing and now everything feels life threating. What is wrong with us and will it ever go back to the way it was? I have never had IBS but lately I am haaving a lot of stomach problems, I kind of thought stress was causing it The pvc's are back and kept me up last night in fear and today I've had a few, so back to the activan.
We have not got the results on my daughters test yet but she feels fine. Once they told her not to worry, she just did not worry anymore!!!!
I think I live in bazarro world lately
Take care,
Glen

Hi Glen

You and me both live in a weird world!

I will be going to the doc today to discuss this IBS/ovary problem with her, but I'm not holding my breath that she will come up with an answer. Perhaps the best thing to do is ignore the whole thing. I know that if I keep insisting she will then send me to more tests: x-rays, scans, a colonoscopy, etc, and only when the doc's run out of tests do they say "it's nothing"! How easy it is then to become a doctor and make a fortune. You don't need much knowledge these days - just send everyone for diagnostic tests and be done with it! This is why I try to avoid doctors as much as possible. Unfortunately they can never offer any explanations, and I'm sure today I am wasting this long trip I have to make (1.5 hours each way) to my female doc in Sydney.

I really don't know what to do anymore! I was expecting my period (and sure I was going to get them after 3 months of not having them) and they still haven't come. But the period cramping was exactly the same as if I were getting a period! Who knows what is going on.

Well, I am glad your daughter is better at least. She's young yet and I'm sure this is all stress related, which of course also makes the hormones fluctuate. As for your tummy problems, I am sure it's all related to the hormones. What else is there?

Have a nice day.

Love, Sylvia

Sylvia,
Good luck on your Dr. visit. I do remember having cramps and feeling like I was going to have a period when I was on my way to post. I almost wished at the time that I would have one because I thought I would feel better. Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

Connie,
Where are you?????

Love, Susie

Hi All,
I am still here, nothing new to report. My palps are good, still have this soreness and swelling under arm. My breats are alittle sore too, a period maybe on the horizon.
Sylvia, how was your appt? I bet the pain is from your ovary. I still have pain off and on. I know you are a fan of the progesterone cream, but my ovary pain was so much worse when I used it, almost constant discomfort. I had no pain when I was on the BCP pill, so I don't know what that means. Hope everything turned out ok.
Glen, you are a brave soul, getting ready for bathing suit season! I look like crap in jeans and sweaters, I couldn't look at myself in a swimsuit for the world!
Susie, hope you son is ok, have a good weekend. Connie

Hi all,

The doctor told me I have high cholesterol - which came in at 240. I also have my BP a bit high at 135/92. She agreed, however, that menopause can do this to us irrespective of what diet we are on. She recommended more exercise. I am already on a fairly good diet, and I take fibre, so I don't know what else to do. But I agree exercise will help.

My bone density test was okay, although there was a little wear and tear around my spine, so I will be taking a little more calcium, with at least 500IU of vitamin D3.

In terms of my abdominal pain, the doc told me she is convinced it's IBS and not the ovary. She said ovaries don't hurt; there is no such thing. When we feel crampy it's the uterus contracting, not the ovaries. Anyway, this is what she said. In any case, I am more reassured that it isn't something serious as she said that if it was there would have been other symptoms. So I will take her word for it. She said my biggest enemy is of course: STRESS! Well, I knew that one But all jokes aside, I will try to minimise the stress. I realised yesterday that by getting resentful towards hubby's exes for getting so much of our money on child support will only hurt my health and not them. So this is one big stress I have to let go of. Their time will come one day, but right now my only concern is my health.

I know that stress makes me get high BP and cholesterol and I know I can control all this with my mind. So, my lesson here is to let go of anger and resentment, and live my life as best I can. It's enough that I have the grief of my mother's and cat's death on my mind, plus putting up with meno, so I don't need extra stressors like my hubby's exes, children, money problems, etc. Best to let all that go.

And so, I will now be a changed person. I will live my life to suit myself and not worry about hubby's problems. If he doesn't worry about them, why should I? I will simply keep focussing on Tuscany!

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Sylvia

Hi Sylvia,
I am glad your appt. went ok. I disagree with her completely about ovaries not hurting. When I had that big bleeding ovarian cyst the pain from coming from the ovary not my uterus. I had many pelvic exams during that time and I never had any discomfort when they pressed on my uterus, but I hit the roof when they pressed on my left ovary. Your BP isn't bad, maybe just lowering your salt intake and more exercise will help. Do watch your cholesterol though, it can get high fast thru peri. My single, stress-free friend has high choleserol, bad family history, and her's went up 30 points in 3 months. Her life is a fairy tale, great job, family, friends, she is very happy but she can't control it without meds. She is so physically fit it makes me sick! If you can control all these peri problems with your mind, I will fly to Australia to find out how you are doing it! You could be a millionare by writing a book. I hope the abdominal pain gets less. Did she give you any other suggestions? No tests? I don't blame you for not wanting any, too expensive, but sometimes that's the only way to find out what's really going on. How's the job? Has your boss hired anymore new staff? Seems strange that you are going into the fall, we are looking forward to some warmer weather here. Have a good weekend. Connie

Hi ladies.

I too can relate to this thread in so many respects. I have the same stool situation, which is to me so very odd and unusual. Personally, I find that flax seed helps me quite a bit. I have stopped drinking caffeine for the most part, perhaps my stools are different as a result; I just felt some level of reassurance reading your posts.

I have right-sided below belly button pain. Do not know what that is, and I have had it for about four years now. I went to the doctor originally; and he performed a battery of tests but to no avail. The pain is not constant, but so annoying when it arrives. Sometimes feels like it might be appendicitis. I don't know. I also get lower back pain tenderness on that side. I don't know if they are related or not. My doctor is not concerned about it. Again, I felt some comfort reading this thread. I have been told that I have IBS in the past. It's a catch all determination however by the medical profession.

I also have the heart palps...not constant but nevertheless disconcerting. I take calcium/magnesium and it does appear to help me.

Interesting what I read about cortisol here too - this thread appears to be somewhat of a mixed bag - anyways, I shall keep this in mind when I get so frustrated about my middle infringement. I have this muffin top and it is so very annoying.

I exercise quite a bit and take a variety of supplements to help me with my stress levels. What do you all think of Hawthorne by the way? My bp is high normal...I am using it to lower it somewhat.

Thanks for starting this thread Rosepurple!

Suzanne
<><

Connie,

My doc didn't suggest any other tests. Basically, if I really wanted to know what was going on I would have to have a colonoscopy, and right now I'm not willing to do that. The fact that the pain comes on and off and it moves (sometimes higher up, sometimes lower down) suggested to my doc that I had IBS. She said that if it was something like bowel cancer the symptoms would be different. About the ovaries, she said that the ovaries themselves don't hurt, but of course if they have a cyst attached to them (like what happened with you) then yes, you will get pain. I think she meant healthy ovaries with no cysts.

It looks like this Monday I won't be working because my boss didn't get any other jobs in before the end of the week. So I might have to have Monday off. This is the thing about casual jobs, they only call you in when they need you. Anyway, we shall see what happens.

I agree about the cholesterol and BP, they do tend to go up with peri, no matter what we do. So I'm not going to worry too much about them just yet.

I would love it if you came to Australia for a visit. What a great time we would have. But don't wait for me to fix all the peri problems with my mind, because somehow I don't see that happening

Susie,

I agree with what you said about forgiveness. I have also handed over the whole matter to the universe (I call God the universe) and I know that things will evolve as they are meant to. For instance, today (which is raining cats and dogs) my hubby has to drive all the way to pick up his youngest boy because the mother (who was supposed to meet my hubby half way) decided she didn't feel like driving. She lives 3.5 hours from where we live. So, hubby has to drive all the way there to pick up his youngest, then back to Sydney (another 1.5 hours) to pick up the other two kids, and then back up the mountain (another 2 hours). So in all, today he will be driving 7 hours in heavy rain to pick up three kids (which he is bringing up here for 3 days - God help us ). Not only that, the mother of the youngest is the one that my hubby has doubled his child support payment for (now that he has a full time job) and you would think she would be thankful and make the effort to drive down the highway to meet him halfway, wouldn't you? She is a real bitch, but I don't blame her so much as I blame my hubby for being so stupid and allowing himself to be used and abused by these exes.

Anyway, when he told me this morning that he would be doing all this driving, I simply told him: "I knew this" (because my intuition had told me yesterday that she was going to do this to him), but I wasn't upset. All I said was, as long as it does affect me and as long as he's happy to do it, then it's his life. And that is that. I told him that from now on I wouldn't get in a flap anymore about his problems with the exes, unless they started to affect my life. The warning to him was that if it started to affect my life then I would be putting my foot down. But until then, if he chooses to be a chauffeur to his kids, that's his choice.

Amazing how easy it was to just let it go to the universe. I told hubby that every dog has their day, and the exes' day would come one day, too.

I'm glad your son is getting on with his life, and I'm also happy that you have given up the stress to the universe. Good on you. And yes, I am positive that our pets also go to heaven. I wouldn't have it any other way

I also have cellulite on my thighs, and this has been a cause of much stress for me since my early 30s (when it started to build up). I tried so many things to get rid of it, but nothing worked - and I've always been slim. So I do the same as you - if I happen to go to the beach I simply wear shorts or something, to hide my upper thighs. But mostly, I don't go. Isn't that terrible? We are so brainwashed by Hollywood's idea of beauty!

I won't go on cholesterol or BP lowering medicines as they have terrible side effects. I will try to lower them naturally. Lecithin is good for lowering cholesterol, and exercise should take care of the BP. I am looking at doing some Tai chi. I think it's a matter of watching the stress levels for me; and if it's a genetic thing, then so be it. Only time will tell.

Hope you girls enjoy the warmer weather. Here it is cold, cold, cold, and rainy for this weekend and all of next week Where is that sun?

Have a great weekend.

Sylvia

Hi Suzanne,

We are a bit of a mixed bag on this thread, but we like it that way

I think what you're describing is definitely IBS. If you had appendicitis I think you'd know it by now - it certainly wouldn't last 4 years. I also take flaxseed oil and I drink soluble fibre, and this seems to help somewhat. The fact that my pain comes on and off and it tends to move sometimes has indicated to my doctor that it's IBS rather than anything sinister. When you get pain try drinking some chamomille tea as it is a natural anti-spasmodic.

I never knew about Hawthorne lowering BP. I must pay a visit to the local health food store and find out what they have for high BP. I am now taking lecithin granules to lower the cholesterol - I just sprinkle 2 to 3 tablespoons over food or mix it in coffee or whatever. It has a pleasant, nutty taste, and I have read about many studies that have been done on lecithin and how it lowers cholesterol.

My palps are very much hormone-driven, so I don't pay any attention to them. I take calcium and magnesium, among other things, and I even use natural progesterone cream, but it seems nothing will make my palps go away, so now I ignore them.

Anyway, welcome to our thread and I hope you will stick around!

Have a great weekend.

Sylvia

Hi,
I am glad your son is doing ok Susie. He deserves to have some happier times and I am sure they are coming. Sylvia, I have heard great things about Tai Chi. Good for balance, strength and inner calm. I have considered signing up for a class, but the times always conflict with my work. I could rent a video but I never can follow along very well with videos, I am better with an instructor. I hate having pelvic exams because even before the ovarian cyst when the doctor would palpate my ovaries I would get a shot of sharp pain when he feel each ovary. He would laugh and say did you feel that zinger? That's normal, everybody does. IBS sure could still be the cause of the discomfort since it does move around. I can't believe how many very good days I have had with these palps lately. I would think they would be terrible since I am nervous over this swelling under my arm. It is sore, probably from all the pushing on it I do, but I don't see any redness like a boil or ingrown hair. Sometimes it just feels like it's not really swollen, just fatter than my other armpit. Maybe with the weight I have gained that's it and I just noticed it. I will try to wait this out too, hopefully it will get better. I don't want all the tests either. I swear I have had this before, I just can't remember if it was this side or not.

Welcome to this thread Suzanne, we discuss alot of things, we would be glad to have you join in!

Well I have fun weekend ahead of body upkeep, haircut, haircolor, eyebrow waxing, manicure, pedicure and anything else I can find to do that will make me look 10 years younger! Everyone have a good one. Connie

Hi all,

Found this article about Lecithin - it can lower cholesterol naturally and also promote weight loss! Woo hoo! I'm taking about 2 to 3 tablespoons per day.


Lecithin is our lifeblood
Thursday, 3 July 2003

Reporter: Emma Pedler

Presenter: Fiona Sewell


Naturopath Carolyn White.

Have you heard that there is one supplement that you can take, that may lower your cholesterol, help you to loose weight and improve brain function. Pass me the lecithin!

Naturopath Carolyn White joined Statewide Afternoons to talk about lecithin.

What is lecithin?

Composed of a mixture of phospholipids, phosphoric acid, the two B group vitamins choline and inositol and the amino acid methionine, lecithin is a body fat found in all body cells but most abundantly in the liver and brain.

In fact 73% of total liver fat is lecithin and 30 % of the dry weight of the brain is lecithin.

Where else is lecithin found?

Most lecithin is derived from soya beans, which contain 0.3 % to 0.6 % lecithin.
Other natural sources of lecithin include cold pressed vegetable oils, egg yolk, nuts and seeds.

What does lecithin do?

Lecithin aids the transport of fats around the body and helps disperse unhealthy deposits of fat and cholesterol. Along with cholesterol, lecithin is essential to the production of bile. The liver produces lecithin continuously, as it does cholesterol.

If I took supplements, what would that do?

Lecithin supplements at the rate of 85 grams daily can lower cholesterol levels. Due to its emulsifying action lecithin can help keep cholesterol soluble in bile, thus preventing the formation of gallstones.

Dieters can notice improved weight loss as lecithin converts body fats to energy more quickly and disperses longstanding fat stores.

Students and others wishing to improve brain function, find that lecithin improves the memory. The component choline is needed for the formation of acetylcholine, which is an essential nerve impulse conductor.

Because of this, elderly people and those suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease, pre-senile dementia and Parkinson’s Disease often notice the benefits of a daily supplement of lecithin.

This can be taken in granule capsule or liquid form. According to Naturopath Carolyn White, the granules taste quite agreeable and can be sprinkled on breakfast cereal or any other food. People who are taking the granules should be taking 3 teaspoons to 3 tablespoons daily.

Where did every body go? Everyone doing ok?

Susie

Hi Susie,

Doing fine here, and almost survived the long weekend with hubby's kids. My cat hates them and spent the whole weekend under the quilt of my bed We had a bit of a hickup last night, with hubby's daughter (who is 10) - every time she goes away somewhere and her mother is not with her she freaks out and starts to cry at night and then hubby has to go and sleep in the kids' room. The girl always does that and rings her mother on the mobile phone around 5 or 6 times during the day and night. I think this kid is sick and needs a child psychologist, don't you? Unfortunately, her mother doesn't see this and neither does my hubby. How can 2 people be so misguided, I wonder? It's obvious the girl is suffering from some separation anxiety that needs to be addressed now, while she's young. Apparently the girl thinks that because she's not with her, something will happen to her mother. In the past, the mother always used to tell her kids that she would die if she didn't have them around her, and I truly think this statement just damaged them psychologically. The older boy, who is now 11, used to be like this too, but he's now grown out of it. But the girl is still very much affected by the whole thing and she cries and carries on at night and nobody gets to sleep in the end. She did this last night and I hope she's not going to do it tonight. Hubby offered to take her home early, but she says she's okay and she'll stay. She says this during the day, but at night she starts to get anxious and the whole story starts all over again. Thankfully, tomorrow, they all go home!

I have managed to stay calm throughout this time, but I think it's rather inconsiderate of hubby to put me through this. Next time I will tell him he can go away with his kids, if he wants. I really don't want them in my house if they're going to cry and carry on and spoil everyone's time.

Healthwise, I am okay aside from the usual hot flashes, palps, and IBS

How are things with you?

Sylvia

Hi Sylvia - for what it is worth, I can't help but agree with you that your husband's DD needs some counselling. She is very nervous to say the least, but if something isn't done soon, it could turn into a neurosis and/or anxiety disorder. That poor child! I am glad to hear that the son has grown out of it.

I sure hope that this will get better for all of you over time. It is hard I know, but you are doing a wonderful thing by having them into your home for the sake of your husband's peace of mind and relationship building. Considering that the ex sounds somewhat manipulative and controlling, it is good for them both to se that they see calmer heads prevail in their lives. They will be more grateful for all that you do down the road, not now perhaps as they are being tormented by this mother of theirs.

Hang in there!

Sincerely,
Suz

Sylvia,
It's been a few days but i'm glad to here your Dr apt was ok. My colesterol is 99, they are cutting my med's in half. And blood pressure is always random and stress and meno both raises it. Hang in there girl. Have you heard of sowing and reaping? What you are doing here is so good, You will see good things come your way.

Connie,
Feel better girl and don't get me wrong I have a pool in my back yard and that is why I put on a swim suite!!!!!

SusieQ,
120 lbs, strut your stuff. The lexapro and beta blocker has caused me to gain so much weight, when I see my reflection in the window I don't reconize myself
Glen

Hi Ladies,
Hope everyone had a good weekend. My skips were back in full force again, I don'r know what makes them come and go, it's getting harder and harder to deal with these things!

Sylvia, I am sorry you had a rough weekend with the kids. I have to disagree with you about the girl needing help at this time. I can see completely why she gets seperation anxiety when away from her mother. I was raised by a single parent, no siblings and I used get so upset when I was away from my mom. Daytime was ok, but nights were a different story. My mother never made any statements to me like her mother did, about dying if I wasn't around, but I used to think about something happening to my mom when I wasn't there and it scared me to death. As I got older, I grew out of it, but even in college I would wake up at night in a cold sweat worried that something had happened to my mom. I think kids that come from one parent families sometimes are more anxious being away from home and the parent they spend 90% of their time with. Even my daughter would have problems every now and then staying overnight or a weekend with a friend. We would get a call in the middle of the night to come get her, and the friends house was only several blocks away! Many of her friends would do the samething when staying with us, my husband would haul her friends home in the middle of the night because they were scared and wanted to go home to their parents. I bet she will grow out of it like her brother did, it sounds pretty normal to me she is only 10. Husbands who bring kids into a new marriage bring alot of baggage with them and I am sure this hard for you since you don't have kids. Sounds like his ex's are going to make sure your life is no bed of roses. I think your time with the kids will get better once you all get to know each other more, and that could take some time. His kids have to be feeling stress too, I bet they will be happier when they feel more comfortable when they stay with you.

Glen, a pool in the backyard sounds great! I totally agree about the Lexapro and BB putting on weight. Now that I am off the Lexapro I will see if any comes off.

Hi, susie and Suzanne, everyone have a good weekend? Back to the work week, I have a long busy one. I am not complaining the more hours I work, the more money I can put away in of unemployment this summer! Connie

Sylvia,
I am sorry your weekend went so bad. I agree that this little girl has heard her mom say this and heaven knows what else she might have said to her. When a parent puts things like this into a childs mind it can make them worry, panic and just plain have fear. That is probably why she gets like that at night time because during the day it is light out and she has things to occupy herself. At night her mind probably starts reeling and she worries. I think too that she should probably see someone about this because it will probably get worse. She will end up with, if she doesn't already have an anxiety disorder and panic attacks. It is amazing what other peoples words or actions can do to someone. Her mom sounds like a very self-centered immature person. I swear, some people shouldn't even have kids. Some are physically abusive and some are mental and emotionally abusive. You say the boy has grown out of it. What do you think happened that he grew out of it? Sometimes boys just don't show their emotions as much as girls do. He may still be suffering but isn't showing it. I had to laugh when you said your cat hid. My cat does a super run and jumps over the couch and hides behind it if anyone that he's not used to comes over. He's been doing that alot lately since my sons friends have all been coming over. My sons cat is just the opposite. He could care less.

So are the kids coming every weekend or every other weekend? Do they treat you with respect? Are they his only kids? Sorry for asking so many questions. I hope you have a good week now. You really deserve it.

Glen,
I may be 120 lbs, but when I look in the mirror I sure don't look like a super model!! Do you have an in ground pool or above ground?

Connie,
Hope you are doing ok. YOU need to post!!!!

Suz,
Glad to meet you and welcome. My brothers and my dad always called me Suz!


Love, Susie

Thanks ladies for your welcomes!! I like this thread and the people in it! My week-end was pretty good!

I wish you all a good week ahead.

Sincerely,
Suz

Hi all,

The weekend wasn't so bad, except for my poor cat, and the fact that hubby's daughter was distressed about being away from her mother. I agree to a certain extent with Connie, about the girl being stressed due to being away from her mother (as she comes from a single parent home). But my hubby has been visiting his kids every single week since they were toddlers, and he even had them overnight when they were younger, and so I don't see why this girl gets so stressed, except that I suspect that her mother filled her head with ideas. Fancy telling your kid that you will die because they're not with you? I think both Susie and Suzanne have a point there about the mother being manipulative. Even if the kids grow out of this, I think they will have low self-esteem and perhaps even develop an anxiety disorder. Apparently the girl cannot even go to her singing lessons on her own, and needs her mother to sit outside the room and wait for her.

I know the kids quite well and get on with them all, which is a good thing. Now that we're in the mountains they only come up to stay a few days during the school holidays. Other than that, hubby sees them three Saturdays out of every month.

Can't chat much, I'm at work right now. Palps and IBS keep me busy, but I ignore them as much as I can.

The rain is driving me crazy - when will it stop?

Thanks for the good wishes, Glen. I certainly do hope good things come my way - as it should for all of us.

Well, girls, have a great rest of the week! Love, Sylvia

Girls,
I just noticed that Connie posted before me and I didn't see it. I swear I feel like I am losing it sometimes. Sorry Connie!
Yesterday I had bad pains in my stomache as soon as I got up and had them up until mid afternoon and then WHAM I had diarrhea twice. I had the pains down where my ovaries are too. Boy, I sure didn't feel good. The pain went away after that but I felt actually sore in my lower abdomen. It hurt down where my right ovary would be. Is that the way yours is Sylvia?

Hope you girls have a good day.

Susie

Good Morning,
Sorry you had the stomach trouble Susie, could you have ate something that disagreed with you? I will get that every now and then too. I have cut back on the magnesium, flax seed and calcium and my bowels have gotten much better. I am back to having just regular stools every morning just like clock work!

Sylvia, I guess when I was growing up back in the stone age, we didn't have terms like seperation anxiety, it was called being homesick! Kids like me with only one parent see and feel things differently. My father wasn't in the picture at all, it is great your husband is as involved as he is. My husband's sister divorced when her children were toddlers, and their father still lived in the same town and saw them several times every week. He went to all the school programs and was there for every holiday and b-day. But my husband's neice who is almost 40 now, will still say how hard it was growing up with divorced then re-married parents. You are never sure where you belong, and as hard as step-parents may try, the kids may never feel completely comfortable with them. I guess it's the way things are. I had to laugh when you said she can't go her piano lessons alone. My daughter had a friend who had 2 wonderful parents, 2 brothers who idolized her and a happy, great homelife. This girl couldn't go anywhere without her mother. B-day parties, swimming lessons, girl scouts, everywhere she went there was her mother or she would go crazy. I always thought this girl will never survive in the real world. She graduated from high school, got accepted at Oxford in England, and never came home! Boy was I wrong, she works in international banking and travels all over the world. I guess some kids are just clingy when they are younger, but it won't determine if they are a messed up adult. My daughter was just the opposite, couldn't get rid of me fast enough when she was young, now we do everything together. I am so proud of you for accepting his children and making them feel welcome, it will pay off in the long run. The world we live in is going to hell fast, we have to rely on the kids for our future, we better teach them right!

Off to work again, except for being dirt poor, I really don't care if I have a job this summer or not. Just one day I would like to stay in my PJ's all day like some women do! Connie

Susie

Hope you're feeling better. My IBS tends to cause lower abdominal stitch-like pain on the left side, and I alternate between constipation and soft stools. Only twice did I have bad diarrhea. I have no idea what this could be, and neither does my doctor. But I am sure that hormones are involved even here!
Are you going to have this checked out? In any case, hope things settle down soon - you know, it could all be the stress you had regarding your son's situation.

Stress always causes all sorts of things and the mind-IBS link has been proven.

Connie

I guess kids are changeable and nobody knows how they will turn out in the end. I have other problems to worry about so if my hubby or his ex don't seem to worry about their daughter, I don't see why I should. I am glad to have the house to myself once again. I love the quiet of my home and I hate it when I have over-excited, sugared up kids, jumping up and down and screaming through my house.

The fact that I am not their mother means I cannot really discipline them in the way I would my own kids. Just the diet alone that these kids have will ensure they develop all the chronic diseases in the world! They eat sugar, sugar, and more sugar, as well as fried junk food. I would never allow my children to eat such rubbish. As a treat, not a problem, but not as a staple diet!


The weather here continues to be cold and rainy. Work this week has been slow, only 1 and a 1/2 days worth of work. Let's hope my hours pick up.

Have a good rest of the week all.

Love, Sylvia