I was absolutely forced or thrown into menopause after the death of my son (15 years old). I am 47, which I suppose is close to menopause, but according to my doctor, it was due to the shock that a became menopausal. I never had any problems before, were regular every month, only 3 to 4 days, no pain, no pms - I suppose everything was perfect and then last year October my son was killed in an accident and it all started going wrong. Not only did I have to cope with my own emotions and trying to get through each day as a normal person. I should have started with my period the week after the accident, but nothing (for 10 months) and during this period all of a sudden the hot flushes, night sweat, a racing heart and what else started. I think I probably aged another 15 years during the past year.

Not fun, I suppose an old run down car feels better than this. Wish we could be send to a garage to be fixed. My doctor did all the necessary hormone test to find that my hormones were totally off the chart, she has never had a patient with those counts before. She gave me hormone patches which made the the symptons disappear after about 2 weeks, but then in the 4th week I started bleeding (heavy) and from then on it would go away for a week and start again. I also started gaining weight. What now? Back to the doctor. Stop the patches for a week and try something else and then what? EISH!

I personally think EVE is solely responsible for all our suffering, if I could get hold of her .....

Well, at least I do not feel alone anymore. I really wanted to be part of a chat or blog group, but I never thought my first ever group I would belong to would be about menopause - how great is that?

Hi,
So sorry about your son. While I haven't experienced any tragedies like you have, I definitely think that sudden stress can cause sudden menopause. I too was literally thrown into peri last December (I was 46; I am now 47) after having my Mirena IUD removed and then a D&C for prolonged bleeding (caused by the Mirena we found out). Before that I felt great (except for some cramping and bleeding issues with the Mirena). I am now on bioidentical HRT and doing better but still having problems.

I know what you mean about going to the garage to be fixed. I told my husband once that I wish I could put my life on hold for awhile, check into a hospital or something, and not come out until I get this HRT thing figured out and I feel better. What kind of patch were you using? I am now on the Climara Patch and Prometrium (for 12 days of the month). I've only been on it for a week, but I don't know if this is going to be the answer because the patch is huge and doesn't stick very well.

Power Surge is my first chat group too and it's been a lifesaver. Take care and God bless.

Hi 40some,

Welcome to PS. I am so sorry to hear about your son. Bless your heart.

I have never heard of menopause caused by shock. That is new to me. You are 47 and that is certainly not too young to start. May I ask what the name of your patch is? I started on Combipatch and I honestly bled for 3 months straight. My breast were always swollen and I gained waterweight. I decided to cut my patch in half which made the bleeding stop, though I still have a period once per month. My breast also went down and the waterweight got much better though I still swell from time to time when I eat salt.

Half a patch still gives me enough estrogen to feel good. Maybe that can be an option for you. My doctor just recently lowered the dose of my Combipatch and I also cut it in half. She told me it was fine as long as I still felt good. Now one box lasts 2 months instead of one.

Take care of yourself and again welcome to PS.

Bigheart

Hi Skiergirl,

Thank you for your reply. I was on Evoral Conti patches. I friend of mine has been using the Climara patches for 4 years now and she has got no complaints. She has had a full hystorectomy though, and since I still have my uterus and ovaries I cannot use Climara - that's according to my doctor. Believe you me, I am no expert on this, I'm only beginning to learn all these things. I will be going onto Angeliq (an oral HRT) in a week's time and I will keep you informed on how that is working.

I hear you about booking into a hospital until everything is sorted, although I think we should start a resort for menopausal woman. They book into this menopausal resort until they are sorted. Just relaxation and fun, no work, home or any other stress or outside factors should come near them. I think that would be eutopia.

Good luck and keep in touch.

Hi 40some

My deepest sympathies for the loss of your son. I'd like to extend a very warm welcome to Power Surge.

I don't have any comparable experiences but I did seem to start peri abruptly at the age of 49. One minute I was still having regular periods, everything absolutely fine. The very next month I had a regular period which stopped and then started bleeding again on day 8 of the cycle, hot flushes, abnormal anxiety, waking after four hours sleep and no more periods for four months. I had my FSH measured only to be told I was well into menopause! It all seemed to start very suddenly - no warning signs at all. I was under a lot of stress at the time and don't know if that was instrumental. My mother didn't go into menopause until after the age of 55 and I'd expected I would be the same. I hadn't realised 49 was around the average age for it all to start!

Hi Bigheart,

I was also very supprised to hear that shock could have such a severe reaction. I went for my annual check up and had hormone tests probably about 2 weeks before his accident and everything was perfect. I was using Evorel Conti patches, but the doctor has now suggested that I should go onto oral HRT (Angeliq). Will see what happens with that.

Thanks for the tip, maybe I should also try half a patch and see what happens. I do not have the swollen breasts, but I am gaining weight which is also a concern.

Good luck.
40some.

Hi there:

I was so sorry to read about your son...I cannot even begin to know the pain and shock that muct have caused you, and continue to cause....you have my deepest sympathy!!

I am writing this because I know another lady on this site who's mother passed away when this lady was 40 and she stopped having periods. She issure it was from the shock of losing her mother. And there is no doubt 40 is very young to become menopausal!! I stopped having periods at 46.5 years and was under a tremendous amount of stress at the time....had to deal with 3 family deaths, 17 year old son developing heart problems, work stress....the list goes on and on. I don't know if this has played into me becoming menopausal or not, but I wouldn't be surprised. I think our poor bodies can only take so much.

Have you tried bio identical HRT? All the reading I have done suggests that it is the best choice. Good luck to you and I wish you the best. Come in to Power Surge often, it is a great help.

Kathie

I believe it certainly could have prompted you into this phase.
I am so, so sorry about the loss of your dear son.

Evening 40some...

I totally agree with you about the stress/shock thing....I came to U.S. 3 years ago, leaving my dear Mum and family and friends behind.... had (still have) big relationship issues with my husband since then that make/have made me very emotionally drained and stressed, and I started getting symptoms (like hot flashes/insomnia/heart palps/jittery/bad memory etc.,) about 2 and a half years ago...I'm 47, almost 48 now.

I haven't had a period since beginning of August, albeit some brief spotting 2 weeks ago.

Good news though...I am sleeping better of late and the palps/jitters/hot spells have lessened since I now go to a gym regularly, run and eat a better diet, plus I take some very good nutritional supplements specially formulated for women with hormonal problems, that have helped me considerably.

I agree that 47 seems a little early....my 2 sisters and my Mum were more like 49/50...and yet my Mum also lost my brother of 10 years old in an accident when she was in her early 40's....really don't know why it didn't have the same effect on her?

I hope you've had/have a lot of support .....if you haven't we understand.....we are all in the same boat!

Take care

Caz x

Dear 40some,

I just want to echo the sentiments of the other dear Ladies of the Surge. I am so sorry you have had to go through such a terrible ordeal. Time does not heal all wounds, but it does soften them around the edges. Hang in. Keep coming around. You will find an extraordinary group of women here to give you comfort and support.

All good wishes,
Marcy

Hi Marcy,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I can tell you one thing, it is people like you that makes it possible to get up every day and carry on with life and of course, very important, the grace of God.

40some.

Hi Caz x,

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry to hear that all is not well in paradise, men are suppose to support us - but of course, how could they, they just do not understand these things. I hope things will get better.

Glad to hear the menopausal systems are better. I am still trying to get myself back to gym (I do not like people around me at this stage), but I have started cycling again. Which supplement are you using? I will be starting on Angeliq on Sunday again and, well ..... hope for the best.

Good luck lady, hang in there, as you say - we are all in the same boat and here for each other.

Love

40some

Hi Kathie,

Thank you so much for your reply. I am sorry to hear about all your ordeals. How is your son's heart problem? Hope he is doing well. I have never heard of bio identical HRT, but I am going to read up about it. I am starting Angeliq from Sunday and I hope for the best. According to what I have read about it, it does not have as many negatives as some of the other HRT.

Hang in there, I suppose we are on level playing field here - only problem, this is not a fun game.

Regards

40some