I have realized after reading piles of posts and articles on PS and around the net in general that I was Peri at age 35. In fact night sweats and feeling hot only got worse and worse as I entered my 40's. In the year 2000 it was like I hit rock bottom and had almost all the symptoms but did not add the dots at all. I put it ALL down to my stressful job, and thought it was all in my head. I did go to a Doc in my mid 30's, and he said I sounded like my hormones were a little out of balance, but this was probably due to stress. OK, then why did it only get worse and worse, finally culminating in horrid hot flashes, night sweat, and just about all the symptoms listed except dryness downstairs is only most evident at period time and a few days after, to the point where I think tampons are not for me much longer other than for a day....

But lately, after all of that 14 years, many symptoms seem to be letting go. I am so, so confused about this. I read post after post of younger women, and their stories, and can only empathize and think 'I was once there', but why are my symptoms abating after so long? NOT all of them, like my highly irregular periods are now down to about 3 days, and only one day is heavyish, but the rest is not worth using anything. But my uterus cramps like childbirth, and it is ONLY when my body menstruates that hot flashes are now the ones that have me on fire. The rest of my life is just spent VERY warm and I do feel warm to touch. But it is as if the nightmare time is settling, but the confusion is in the periods still hanging around, and this is when I turn into all those 34+ symptoms and more. After a few days, I am managing and coping. I cannot make this out, and yet as time passes, things seem to be settling despite test after test at different times of the month telling me my estradiol is almost post meno.

Is it possible that some of us have bodies that adjust as time passes and Meno comes to a close? Like rage....I don't have rage. I get a little tearful, but it's just all gone. I am turning into someone who is just more accepting, and different. I turn 50 at the end of the year, and feel like things are winding down, like some inner sense tells me this is ending. I just look back and see almost 15 years of everything I read about written here, and feel sad that I classified myself as a nervous wreck, when I was truly thick into Peri. But past is past, and I can let that go.

Please don't get me wrong, this has not been an overnight thing, but I am just confused that the hellish times that did last for years seem to be adjusting. My doc thinks the end is very close for me, but I always thought the worse happens when the periods stopped. I seem to be a bit in reverse, even when I went 5 months without a period, I felt better. Far better. But even with the irregularity, and my struggling FSH, my poor body is trying hard to make all the right things, but nature is slowly saying 'no way'.

Has anyone else experienced a change towards being more able to cope towards their 50's, and feel the 40's were the 'hell on earth'? For me, my 40's almost sent me over and edge hormonally, but now, things are truly changing, not fast, but slowly, like a slow adjusting.

I'm just confused because I sound and feel 'post' but have irregular periods that are almost nothing now.

Any ideas? and No, I'm on no HRT and nothing at all to help me.

Hugs,
Viktoria

Hi Viktoria

Yet again our stories seem to be rather similar. I too now realize that I started the perimenopause in my mid 30's with SEVERE hemorraging. Like you they said that my hormones were severely out of wack and that's all I thought it was. But I literally was afraid at times I would bleed to death and had anemia so badly that I developed Pica which is the desire to eat non food items and weird things. Apparently when you are seriously anemic this can happen. I crunched ice and wintergreen mints constantly and really wanted to eat gravel!!!! Weird huh? Ugh

Then I hit 40 and I started with the night sweats and generally not feeling like myself. The night sweats stopped for the most part and then I got regular periods - which I had rarely had in my life! Lucky me. However they were, like clockwork, 21-23 days apart. 21 one month, 23 the next. The severe bleeding continued but just for 1 full day most of the time - not a month like in my mid 30's. Then came the anxiety. That walloped me. I became worried about everything under the sun to the point that I would wake up in the middle of the night and pace and pace and fret. And then, about 3 years ago came the crushing depression and cold flashes. I was a mess. But lately there have been 2-3 days per week that I often feel "normal" again. Well, I take buspar regularly but I NEVER used to have days where I felt like myself even with the buspar. I was a walking stranger. Now my periods have gotten "lighter" (I don't have to think about going to the ER because I might be bleeding to death), last month the period came on day 19, and I have a had days of relative clarity. However then down comes the rain and I'm sent back into my confused, brain fog, feeling lousy state again. But at least there are days of not feeling that way. That's very new to me and I'm trying to enjoy those days when they come along with the hope that someday those may be the majority of my days-not the horrible, out of body, not myself, days of the past 5 years.

So I do believe that it is somewhat different for everyone and for us maybe the decline of those hormones actually makes us feel better. Meaning that once we're done (and those hormones have mostly gone away) we may feel MUCH better whereas for others it seems as though those hormones not being there makes them worse. Does that make sense? I'm in a huge hurry to get to the barn this morning and typing fast so hopefully it does!!!

Lots of hugs to you!

Dear Flushing Lady
I think that as women read your post they will have 'light bulb' moments. Last September I started getting hot flashes and realized that I was starting menopause. I thought that hot flashes and the end of my periods would be all that Menopause would entail.

As I look back to my 40's I have come to the realization that I have been in Peri-Menopause for quite some time......not just since last September and the easily identifiable 'hot flash'. My 40's were a topsy turvy emotional roller coaster. As I read posts by the wonderful women here on Surge it has become crystal clear to me that I started this journey long before my periods became irregular.

I am in my early 50's and I do feel much more 'mature' and 'together' than I ever did in my 40's. I think this is in part because my hormones....although still raging....are not raging as fast and furious as they were in my 40's. I also think that knowledge is powerful.....and by being a member of Power Surge for almost a year now......reading - chatting - exchanging information with other women in the same proverbial boat......has made me much more aware of what I am feeling and 'why'.

Your post is a wonderful insight into what a lot of women feel but don't understand 'why' and in some case....don't even think about menopause.

Being Post ...is when you have not had a menstrual cycle for 12 months. ALthough the rules can change with little or no notice and at given time......(sigh)

Cheers and Hugs
Dottie

Looking back now that I am 53, I realize that all of this stuff started with horrible anxiety in my early 40's which passed as the years went by. Horribly heavy periods and anemia are all that remain and my cycles have become shorter. I have never had a hot flash or some of the other things mentioned. I had a salivary hormone test done recently and the results showed that my hormones are still fairly well-balanced. Apparently, I am not following the standard protocol, either.

I'm like you Vic, now that I look back I see I was in peri for years, I just didn't put two and two together. For many years, the 'symptoms' were mild...I'd have a few head spins which I'd put down to stuffed ears. The sudden burst of a racing heart I thought was from stress. About 5 years ago I began to miss a period here and there. Not consistently, just maybe one or two a year. However, nothing stayed, nothing interfered, the stuff that was happening was just bothersome for a few days or a week or so. But it was nothing I related to peri. Then 3 years ago everything went to hell in a hand basket but by then, I was finally connecting the dots - my periods had started to decrease. They went from a full week down to 4 days, then down to 3, then to more or less just spotting for a day or so. And other things followed suit. The overwhelming anxiety, the 'gloom and doom' thoughts - the "I just know I have something awful" - the not sleeping at night, the gastro issues - headaches, etc.

Now, I'm 52 and haven't had a visit from aunt flo for 8 months. And like you, it's getting easier. I used to feel mentally anxious, but that has pretty much disappeared except for an occasional 'burst' that usually happens after something stressful. I do, however have what I call physical signs - tight muscles, I tend to clench my jaw without knowing it. I have more bouts of sleeplessness - but I don't have hot flashes, I have cold instead. But, as I get closer to the 'year' mark, things are getting easier. I'm not sure whether the 'symptoms' are less severe, or whether, after all this time, they're just easier to cope with. Anymore, what used to throw me into a tail spin, simply makes me think to myself...well, this will pass - and it does. Granted, I wish it would all go away, but I know that isn't likely, so I'm accepting it will probably be more of a slow easing, reminiscent of my periods...just a gradual "tapering off"...

It does seem that you and I are travelling a similar path. I so relate to the late 30's [for me] and 40's periods 21-23 days apart, and then the severe bleeding that was in actual fact flooding, but silly me had had it for so long I did not know it was flooding.
The anxiety, yes, that was horrible, and I still get that at my so-called period time, but I can put it in perspective, and I just take time out, and know it will pass. I swear my body hates estrogen, and I have always felt this. Like PMS, when other women complained of this, I felt wonderful. My worst times all my life were the estrogenic time of my cycle. For the last two weeks, as far back as I can remember, I felt fantastic in my PMS time. Maybe I am an alien?

Like you, I accept the down days, it was as if my heart palps which occur when my body is trying so hard to have a period, well, they needed checking out, and once that was done, it was like a free bill of health, and with blood work my Doc says even he envies, well, I had to accept my anxiety needed controlling, and despite me trying techniques to control it, I feel it did it on it's own, and just mere acceptance settled things.

I do hate the labor type cramps, but I also think this is my uterus having its last hoorah, and it can have it's go at me, but soon I feel it's going to quit, and if not soon, that's ok too.

You make a lot of sense to me. I feel better off without all the hormones, and yet I know from posts that other ladies feel empty and need them. I have some progesterone cream [natural] but the way things are going, I am not rushing to upset this turn of events. One day at a time for me, and I think from what you have written, it's the same for you.

Thank you for your reply, and I hope you enjoyed your time with the horses. Animals are worth loving.

Hugs,
Viktoria

I do soooo enjoy my time with my horses. The only time I'm ever truly happy. At least anymore. I remember being really happy at other times before. It just doesn't happen now. Not that down deep, content kind of happiness. When I'm at the barn I have that. I hope that someday I get it back in my personal life too!

The one thing that is different between us is that whatever it is that happens during PMS it REALLY doesn't like me. Or pregnancy! I had horrendous PMS before they even really diagnosed PMS. And I've had the equivalent of barbaric, chinese water torture treatments to try to get rid of it in the past. Probably considered more of that PMDD as they call it now. It would totally change my personality. And when I was pregnant I had unbelievable morning sickness for the first 20 weeks each time. To the point that I was on IV's and anti-emetics. My brain hates hormones so I'm really hoping that once through menopause that things will level out a bit. That would be nice.


Have a great day Viktoria!

Dear Dottie,

I think I read somewhere, that you also never joined the dots, am I correct? I also relate to all you are saying, and I do think that what is written, particularly on the Mayo Clinic site, that this process can take up to approx 15 years is correct in my case at least, and I get the feeling it is the same for others too.

Like you, I am feeling far more mature and together, and am actually looking forward to my 50's, and I never thought I would write that in all my life, but it's true. I even look happier in photographs, and many friends lately have said I seem so calm. Don't get me wrong, I still have totally rotten days and need all the PS ladies that are willing to listen to me sob , but they are getting less, and yet I feel an even greater compassion for those now younger than I, who I know exactly how they are feeling. It's a rotten process, but part of me thinks some of my ignorance was bliss, but the jury is still out on that one.

As for 'post', my body has had a couple of tries at that, but I do NOT trust it anymore until it does the 12 months, in fact I might give it 15 before I trust it. I'm just at the stage where I can cope with the symptoms of my Peri now, most of the time, but want so much for the periods to stop. I don't want estrogen in me any more, and I know that sounds strange, but even BC pills were never a substance I could take, but when pregnant, oh bliss. My Doc at that time said I loved pregnancy due to the higher progesterone, and I think he was right. As soon as I had given birth and periods resumed, I always felt not quite well, and imo, my body is not liking estrogen much at all, and that's my story I am sticking to.

I may consider starting progesterone [natural] if I ever feel the need, but right now, I don't want to upset this strange calm that has slowly evolved.

Thank you for your input, as its good to know it is not just in my head.

Hugs,
Viktoria

Hi orngkat06, I have been through the stage of anemia and low iron stores, and that is sorted out now, and was well worth sorting out. Those heavy periods can sap all our energy, and really make us feel so fatigued. I hope you are getting some help for that. I agree about the 40's anxiety. Who said 'life begins at 40'? Whoever was nuts! I would not go back to the 40's if I was paid to, and only have a few months of them left to serve.

My hormone tests are not balanced at all. Estradiol is very, very low, and my doc is shocked I am not post, but that estradiol manages to get up there now and then to make me have stupid minor periods, and I just think it is starting to push it's luck. That surge of FSH trying to get things going really brings on nasty symptoms, and once I am over the period, and estradiol low, I feel so much better. I think I am allergic to it now.

I am glad you have never had a flash, you are missing nothing, and I hope you are one of the lucky ones that never feels one, but like you, I do suffer far more with the chills, and sit typing with a shawl around my shoulders like an old grandma.

I hope your transition is a smooth one, I really do.

Hugs,
Viktoria

Hi Tay,

I relate to much of what you say, too. I certianly have had symptoms severe enough my MD called it a hormonal crash last year, and that was horrid. But same as you, prior to that, it was minor interference that passed, and I placed in the stress basket. Not so. I think the not sleeping part is the worst for me when I have a period, but when I don't, I sleep like a log, and nothing wakes me. As I have said to other ladies on this thread, I feel my body does not want large amounts of estrogen, and is happier without it, as at the start of a period when estrogen starts being made, I feel shocking, at PMS time, I feel like almost my old self, and this has been my entire menstrual history.

I have not had severe headaches, but moderate, then again, I have never been a headache type person, more muscle tension for me, as you mention, but massages from Hubby can put me in a wonderful state of feeling relaxed and almost pain free. I also relate to the 'not being sure we are getting less symptoms, or they are less severe', or whether we are just coping better with more positive thinking, and knowing that this will pass. You're right, it always does.

Like you, I know it isn't all going to just go away, and perhaps I am even learning something worthwhile from the experience, but as difficult as it has been, and does still get now and then with AF around, I can just feel as you say........a gradual tapering off.....

Thank you for your imput, PS is a wonderful place to share our thoughts and feelings with others who know what we feel.

Hugs,
Viktoria

Hi Viktoria,
Im new to this site. Ehen I read your post I thought that sounds like me. I know Im only 41 but my Mum started Pre when she was 36. Young I know. About 2 years ago I noticed my gums swelling. The Doctor said its probable just your hormones. Well I guessed that. I didnt even click that I was probabely Pre until a couple of months ago my period was late. Since I have always been regular I thought something is wrong here. Went to do a pregnancy test which came back negative. I was so pleased. Period still hadnt arrived a week or so later so did a blood test. That was hard to wait for the results. That was negative. The Nurse said maybe its Menopause but you are too young for that. Well I am Premenapause. So Im pleased that I know and now I will deal with it. Well enough about me. Hugs to you and I hope you day gets Better. Takr care.

Hi Viktoria did you sneak in and use my computer because l could have written some of your original post? LIke you I put the initial symptoms down to a stressful time in my life and my doc wanted to treat me for stress when I hit rock bottom too. For me it was insomnia, moods, external dryness, heavy periods, clots, painful cramping, night flushes, anxiety. I had been telling my GP from age 41 that my periods had gone from 3 or 4 a year all my life to 12 a year at the beginning of my forties but he wasn't listening to any of my questions about my HORMONE LEVELS changing to cause this complete change.

So for me my early forties, up to 44, certainly were pretty much a 'hell on earth' as you put it. At the end of all this hellishness I was talking to a woman at a party, younger than me, but she told me about her mother's experience and used the word MENOPAUSE. Bam that was it, I stopped listening to my doc and started researching. Finally I got to see a GYN and he finally tells me yup you're heading towards menopause. I did stop seeing Doctor Clueless About Female Hormones but went back to him the other week about my external itching only to realise why I stopped seeing him in the first place because he is still Doctor Clueless About Female Hormones.

I can feel a slow adjustment and have been going through this for about 7 years now. Am nearly 47, insomnia flared up again in March and April, but now sleeping better, external dryness through September, periods are now lighter and generally cramping much less, and getting my confidence back after having anxiety during that hormonal change at the beginning of my forties did take time but mainly I'm okay. So far my periods have not been irregular again although as they were until my forties I suppose I should be used to the unpredictability bit when it comes. Listening to everyone here I could still be quite away from being post and because I can't take HRT every symptom has to be treated individually.

robin

The only answer I can think of for your lessening frequency and easing of your symptoms is the old "We all are different" answer. Enjoy it. I envy you.

I am another that only knows I went through Peri in hindsight. I remember having PMS--I remember one time I sat down at the dinner table and announced I was "crazy" that day and not to pay any attention to me or what I said. I also remember my periods getting irregular (My first period started two days before my 13th birthday--2nd day of the month-- and my period was always around the beginning of the month until Peri.) I never felt a need to keep a journal. I remember heavy periods too--but never to the point of anemia like some here. At the end they got fewer and farther between and much lighter.

Never married, never got pregnant. I wonder sometimes if that makes any difference in my menopausal journey.

In hindsight I know my last period was in the summer of 2000. I'm not sure which month because my father was dying (or possibly being killed?) in the hospital from May 2000 to August 2000--but I remember hating that I was having a period at that time. I never had any symptoms of meno until the fall of 2001--this was also when I supposedly had an unexplained UTI--the first in my life--but I recognized the hotflashes as menopausal. I also had depression--which I blamed on my UTI and antibiotic (Cipro). I controlled the flashes and depression with soy and St. John's wort successfully until the Spring of 2006. I had menopause under control. At least I thought I did because I didn't realize yet that the increasingly frequent UTIs and subsequent visits to the ER were a menopausal symptom. No doctor I saw twigged it. I seem to have gotten the UTIs under control with vaginal estriol cream. Now I am on estraderm patch and prometrium which is slowly getting my second set of symptoms under control--terrible anxiety, panic attacks, depression, vaginal dryness which caused the UTIs, stress incontinence, hotflashes, agorophobia, crying spells, dry skin, hair, eyes, foggy thinking, dim sight, carb craving and weight gain, etc. The physical symptoms seem to be the first to go and I haven't had a UTI since December 2006. This has seemed like a second menopause to me--that happened 5 years after my first one. I didn't go on the patch until last March--which is when this second menopause started to get under control--but I don't feel completely like my old self yet.

Unlike some of you--I've not felt like an old woman yet. As a matter of fact, I feel like I've always felt--like I'm about 16 minus the libido--even though I've had so many old lady symptoms. I don't feel any inner calm or wisdom--at least not yet. My grandmothers and mother had hysterectomies. Mom went on HRT after her surgery--so I had no idea that menopause entailed all of this. I thought your periods stopped, you had a few hotflashes and that was it. I thought I might return to the way I was pre-puberty (mentally anyways). I was very happy then.

I tried to go through meno with natural remedies--but it only worked for 5 years--and now I know it wasn't really working because the UTIs were a menopausal symptom.

I hope someday my symptoms will go away but I'm prepared to stay on HRT to my dying day if I have to. I'm worthless and too miserable without it. I comfort myself with the fact that there are some positive things about HRT and I hope to reap those benefits with none of the bad side effects. I 've spoken to the Lord and I feel he directed me to HRT. I guess that was His plan as opposed to an easy meno.

Miss Tibbs

Yes, and I am so TIRED of reading authorative comments by various authors in magazines, etc. that it lasts one year, two years, five years. Occasionally one will say ten years. HA! How can they say anything with such authority when each of them is saying something different, plus ask a dozen (post) women how long it really lasts. The arrogance of these experts amazes me. No one knows how long it takes; it takes as long as it takes. Because it is different for each woman. Maybe the occasional woman will have at least vague symptoms for 20 years. I do not doubt that.

It just p's me off.