I have to get a part-time job so we can keep our kids in private school. I have come so far in my healing from panic attacks I'm afraid the stress of a new job will make them return. I know I shouldn't worry about it until it happens (notice my Bible verse?) I think in my case its been hormonal imbalance and my adrenals being wiped out and adrenals are so sensitive to stress. Anyway....any suggestions to make this a smooth transition? I've tried putting in applications in places I would enjoy and have a good environment. If any of you have suffered from panic attacks you know how awful they are but I guess I can't hide in my comfy little world forever! Wish me luck!

You think God has a special grace for those in the throes of menopause??

I sure do!!

bev

OH, btw--I love all you guys!!!

i think it is great that u put yr kids above yr self but u shoud really pray about it do, u think god wants u 2 do this ? or perhaps yr husband should get a second job . no judgement here .i am just a fellow sister who has been having severe intense 30x by ambulance 2 the er panic attacks . nothing is getting me out of the house 4 any reason when my anxiety is 100 plus . please pray about this and do what is best 4 u . the kids will be fine . u r the mom without u the house falls apart . then how would the kids feel ? b blessed ! mookiehantamom@yahoo.com

I know the panic attacks can be rough..I've been in ER quite a few times myself...but now i'm having a different problem...empty nest....i've always took care of somebody...after my kids left home my oldest son went thru a divorce..got custody of his boys then moved back in with me to help..i loved it..yes a lil nerve rackin at times but still...he's been back almost 4 yrs..now he's found him a good women who love to death...she loves the boys...gets along with his x..so it's kinda like the boys 2 sets of parents now which is rally good for them....he's slowly moving in with her...one step at a time...but i know this will last...a mother can just tell these things...each of my children are succsessful and happy.......what about me i'm thinking??...i don't wanna feel selfish..lol...but i gotta find something to do.....or the panic will take over!

Maybe it would help if you look at going back to work as a new adventure. The people you work with could turn out to be very nice and supportive. You will be making your own money and it's good to get up and out the door every day. Put on some new clothes and a little makeup to make you feel good. Maybe it will be something that turns out to be wonderful and you have something good to look forward to every day. Maybe you will make new friends.

Your new coworkers won't know you are going through meno or having panic attacks. Most people are accepting of people.

I have been working forever, and new situations can still make me nervous, too, so I try to tell myself it's an adventure and look for the positive in it. I try to tell myself, You Can Do It!" and I do have a wonderful husband who supports me and gives me an "atta girl" when I go out the door to slay dragons.

WriterMom

Thanks everyone for your encouragement! One day I feel so confident then the next I just want to run away! I did put in two applications yesterday....now I'm afraid they might call me I just ask God to open and shut doors....your right WriterMom this could be a fun adventure! I love people and God could use this not only to make money but to share him with others! ITS ALL GOOD!

Is there ANYTHING you can do at home? I tutor in music and have done so for 17 years. I worked both part time and full time for 7 of those most recent years. I liked one of the jobs very much...then I got greedy...took a full time job and that's when I had a terrible time. Constant bouts with what could've been considered mild manic depression. It wasn't, just me being greedy and stupid beyond compare. Crying, screaming...etc. Now I'm back just teaching for about five months and feel better than I have in ages. My periods have quieted down considerably as well as my moods and their swinging intensity.

I put huge amounts of energy into my teaching, but it's not the same as the jobs I had, the jobs were take, take, take, drained me of whatever life I had...teaching music is a way I can give to someone else, get a little satisfaction of making a difference and make a little money along the way. I have created a musical curriculum that spans from 4th grade to 12th grade. They study their instrument as well as general music, and music appreciation. Kids rarely lose interest. Most of the time it's the parents that tire of bringing them to the house. I have 12 students right now, but have had more than 20 in the past. I talked to a woman just this past Sunday that said that in her single years she had 40 and sometimes 50!

Math tutoring is a BIG one out there. READING is good, too. My sister-in-law pays for tutoring in both Math and Reading. My nephew goes to the tutors on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they work on homework, read outloud, she does little worksheets for him for extra work. I gotta tell you, my son was doing terribly in Math when he was in 7th grade. I borrowed a textbook from the school for over the Summer and when he got ready for 8th grade he was READY.

Do you like History or Science? What about regular Saturday field trips to Lakes or streams to collect things to look at in microscopes? ART? drawing with your students and then an exhibition at the end of the semester or school year? Excercise. Organize a time each week the kids can meet at a ball field for a fun hour of kickball, crab soccer, or something. Not every kid can play baseball or soccer on a community team, but all kids like to play.

Sometimes, the school will let parents work on the campus, in the cafeteria, the clinic, recreation...check into that.

I went to a private Christian School for a portion of High School. This was a nationally accredited private school and I know they meant well and did the best they could, but some of my classmates were the biggest alcoholic partiers I knew...when they weren't busy "sleeping" with each other. Hung over so bad on Mondays, their parents would call in for them and they'd show up after lunch when they felt better. Their parents were out of the country, or out of the state, or just didn't care. Christian School is part of the answer, but it is not THE answer. If working to put them in a private school takes you away from them when they need you most, consider working at home or skip the Private School idea all together.

I find this keenly interesting. How old are you? What kind of working experience do you have that is recent? What kind of employment are you sending applications to? Is there a specific reason that your children have to be in private school as opposed to public or even home schooled (if they're still young)? Do you think you may be setting yourself up to stress before, during or after?

My experience is that after almost two decades you may not be able to compete out with younger folks whose schooling/work history is more current unless you take a position in retail, restaurant etc. Often when one partner is in a position of putting out application after application for other types of employment, two things can happen, one is that the seeker becomes befuddled that there is little to no response now, and the frustration becomes emotionally problematic, and the second is that the other partner begins to think OR suggesting there is something wrong with the one sending applications. Sometimes neither of these happen, but I've been around too long.

Forgive me if I sound brash our out of line, but I am very concerned about what you're suggesting at this point in time. I would be much more delighted if you were seeking part time work because it would make 'you' feel a bit more fulfilled or was something 'you' decided might be fun to try NOT because of someone else's extra desires.

It would seem to me that instead of deliberately creating a situation that could take Mom out of the picture, it would be better to look at the family financial situation and come up with a better plan for all within the available budget. Once extra income begins to come in, the demands for it become to bulge until that extra income needs to be supplemented yet again.

So what are the family's real needs, not its desires or wants.

I thought that there were a lot of part-time jobs out there that none of the younger people are interested in, as they are raising families, paying mortgages, and they must have a certain salary. Part-time jobs sometimes have no benefits and no paid time off, and they might not pay all that much, but they are ideal for those of us who have another income like retirement benefits, or some means of other income (like a working spouse). The part-time jobs are sometimes pleasant and easy to do (some might call them boring, I guess), like putting books away at the library or videos at the video store, maybe doing data entry where there is no pressure and little people contact. I think that, after all these years of a stressful job and a tight schedule, I would enjoy one of these part-time, easy jobs when I retire (if I even want to work, which remains to be seen).

Sometimes employers who are offering the easy, part-time jobs are interested in folks who are getting back to work after several years and who may be older than the twenty-somethings. Older people are reliable, they can be steady and pleasant, they come to work regularly, and they aren't hot-headed and driven, resigning immediately if things don't go their way. Older people are more patient and may more easily accept conditions that are beyond anyone's control. There is definitely an employees market out there for people like this--meaning that you, as the employee, are in demand and the employer will try to custom-fit the job for you, such as tailoring the work hours to you or maybe giving you more money than was originally offered.

Oarsin, maybe you might just try an easy part-time job with no people contact if people make you feel stressed--there are hundreds of them available and not a lot of competition. WriterMom is right--it's good to get up and have something to do (but not so much that you're frantic for time like I've been for so long). Just a few hours per day or one or two days per week, doing something easy, no pressure. Think about what you like to do or what you're interested in--there should be some kind of part-time job and it's probably open and waiting for you.

I've learned with panic attacks (and I had many of those in peri) that it's best to face them full on--grab the bull by the horns. If this means going to work, I'd do it and just dare a panic attack to happen. The way I got rid of my attacks was with facing them full on and distraction. I haven't had a panic attack now for almost ten years!

CSugarGrove are you presently working a part time job too? Was this to supplement or needful? How on earth did you find one suitable to what you describe here? May I ask your age? What kind of position did you get ? Are you presently collecting social security or retirement?

Perhaps I'm very wrong but my concern about the original post is that this search is not because she, herself, wants to get out and about, but because there are others in the household who have 'wants' or 'desires' that she apparently wants to give. That is very different I think than getting out of the house for own self-fullment or self esteem. For nearly two decades this family apparently survived on a single income.

There are times when suddenly we realize we're living a bit beyond what our budget has dictated. If that's the case then additional employment is a must. However, before seeking additional employment it is MOST wise to review budgetary circumstances and get rid of those expenses we can live without and focus on those we must keep.

Another concern is the children (whose ages we don't know yet) who may wind up with neither parent at home when schools lets out. Or, if they are still fairly young and a part-time position prevents either parent from being available, that child care or babysitter etc. must now become an expense. All these issues need to be assessed as well.

My experience (I've had plenty in this area) is that part-time positions have NO benefits, you frequently have to be available to 'fill-in' and can also be fired 'at will' (for no reason).

Most positions available to folks aging are those in labor because younger folks don't want them, positions like cleaning/janitorial etc. Most of these require being on your feet. Even those you've suggested like stacking books etc. are situations that can be difficult (depending on age and strength) because you are bending and lifting heavy objects. Many of these situations ask if you are able to lift up to 100 pounds, or if you have difficulty standing on your feet without a break for 8 hours.

Data entry can sometimes be done at home. You need to find employers near you who may offer this and that is not always an easy task and may take a period of time to find.

Sometimes I can get anxious from too much navel-gazing. Without a part-time job, I would sit at home and focus on myself to the point of insanity. I am very thankful for having a reason to get up and get out for a few hours each day. It really does feel good to put on nice clothing, fix my hair and makeup, a bit of perfume, stop at Starbucks along the way and settle in in my little office.

It might do you good, too, but you will never know unless you try. And you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are able to keep your kids in the school of your choice.

Blessings (and courage) to you!

"sacrifice" 3 a: destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else b: something given up or lost
can be a good goal for the sake of love, as long as it isn't: martyr
1: a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion
2: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle

3: victim; especially : a great or constant sufferer (I took these from merriam-webster online)

Giving for the sake of others we love is the most part of the human condition. Please be careful though with your health. I think it always prudent to remember, that the presence of a mother is vital to children, the presence of wife is vital to husbands etc.

Everyone is in debt and everyone would like to be debt-free. Worrying about bills is one of the largest stealers of sleep, of health, and of relationships. Sometimes the concern/worry (and women do this especially well) to get these paid off spin us into whirlwinds of panic because they take a long time to achieve.

Some things are in our control, some things feel out of our control and some things really ARE out of our control.

And a great friend once told me that often, when a great or demanding decision needs to be made, the first best step is to be still and do nothing. More often than not, the correct answer or direction will find its way to you.

Eeeeeee! This thread is so good! It isn't even mine. I wish I could claim it! I absolutely love it when one person's comment can incite so much debate! I left the full-time job I had when I realized I was being stupid and greedy. (See my above post) We've had to really cut back, no air conditioning, no eating out, combining trips. It's been close, and a huge challenge, but the money's been there. I have still been able to buy my organic foods and things are starting to turn around. In less than a year we will be credit card debt free, and in less than a year and a half we will be debt free other than the mortgage. We bought the house we're living in only five years ago. I FEEL A BLOG COMING ON!!

I QUIT work to stay home with my kids when they were in 1st and 3rd grade. I was a nurse and chose to give up the extra income to be there and wipe tears and share joys when they came home from school! WHAT A BLESSING! We did have our children in Christian schools for 2 yrs., then got transferred and the Christian schools were no different than the public in their curriculum and EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE, so we prayerfully decided to switch them to public schools at that time. I believe that the parents being there, mother being home, was the BEST choice for us....b/c I was more involved with their lives than when I was working. I'm still home and they are 26 and 28! (one is married and the other one is close!)

My advice...pray about it and see if private schools are TRULY where your children are to be. (I just took that for granted for several years!) Ours did great in public schools and I believe were a light in a sad world!

Just my opinion...

I know it's easy to talk about part-time jobs, but Buttercup, you are very wise (and also correct) about many things. Maybe I'm just daydreaming and it isn't the reality. I've always worked full time, for 38 years now, with two more years to go until I can collect retirement benefits. I will have worked full time for 40 years when I retire! That's a long time. I'd like to just stay home with my retired husband for a while, even though people are always telling me I will get bored. They are probably right, so after I get all of my home projects done (which might take maybe six months or so), I thought I'd maybe enjoy a simple job like the books at the library or putting away videos that people returned. There may be no simple job, though--and I'm aware of the risk of being suddenly terminated. Although it wouldn't matter, if I have my retirement benefits.

Congratulations to sistergoldenhair for sticking it out and becoming debt-free. Many people don't have your discipline. Good for you!

Do you think that there's a job you'd like to do just for the fun of it; let's say you don't particularly need the money, so you can choose your hours and how much you work? I guess this is what I had in mind.

Joyful Heart--you're right, it's best if you can stay home for your kids. I wish that other young mothers could do that. It's really hard when you have to get up early and drag your child off to childcare or the sitter. I had to do that for financial reasons, as I was single and had no choice. I'd surely have stayed home, though, if I could.

Thanks ladies! Good balance of advice....you all have really good points. I'm already feeling the stress of just the "thinking" of working on my body. Although the thinking is probably worse than the actually work. Thanks again!

I think this is the age we get to when we realise "things" don't matter, just health and inner happiness, smelling the flowers and coffee an' all.

Heck, I only replaced my worn lounge carpet because my daughter was getting married and had a new porch because the door was rotting

I do spend a bit of money on DVD's tho usually girly flicks that make me feel happy.

Yes I agree with the above... do you need to spend money on priv ed?

Since this thread is about working,i just wanna say that i am having a hard time finding a part-time job.I have had a couple of interviews...but wasn't hired...one place didn't hire me because i ONLY wanted part-time and they wanted to fill a full time position....the other,well i didn't have enough work experience and references....but how can i gain work experience if i can't find a job?
It is so different now when looking for a job....why interview a person THREE times for a part-time job as a cashier?It's really intimidating to be put on the spot and asked so many "silly" questions(like,"do you think it's ok to steal?"what would you do if you saw a co-worker steal from the register?")....
I am starting to feel down about the whole situation,i want a part time job for something to do mostly(and to pay off my credit card)and to boost my self-esteem but it's all back-firing on me because i feel like i am too old,too stupid,etc. to get a job at all!!

Dear Moonlight (Just love that name it makes me feel calm)
Chin up - Easy to say isn't it. You are not old and stupid you are the best you have life experience and want to work. Keep at it I am sure someone will recongise you skills.
Good luck - let me know how you go.

I don't know why exactly (maybe it was the "Eeeeeee!" comment), but your post cracked me up. And do you have a blog?

Okay, now I'm all for frugality, but no air conditioning? We live in San Diego, so it only gets hot for 5 days a year, but unless you are on the northern coast of California, I don't know how you could live without it!

To address another poster's comments, not everyone has debt. I visit a frugality site often (on About.com) and tons of people not only do not have debt, but they've paid off their house, too (I kind of don't consider a mortgage to be debt, since a home appreciates in value, JMO).

I do not think we will ever pay off this house; we've only lived here a week so maybe I should not be so hasty. We have never had any debt other than mortgage. I just can't have any. I'm too insecure about money, since my father blew most of his paycheck my entire childhood and my mother could barely make ends meet. Maybe that's a good thing (not his blowing the paycheck, but not being able to have debt). It is beyond my imagination to put something on a credit card that I could not pay off at the end of the month. I mean, that's like paying for the item over and over again, with the interest. (Not that I'm judging anyone--sometimes you have to do that, due to circumstances beyond your control.) We even pay cash for our cars (unless they are offering 0% interest, which they never do on the cars I've wanted).

Also, to another post, many states are "At Will" and you can be terminated for any reason even if you are full-time, not just part-time. The Man will always have the power here.

I often think I would like a part-time job, too (when I'm feeling particularly masochistic), but I know that if I had to be anywhere the next day that I would not sleep that night. The slightest obligation freaks me out nowadays. Besides, I have to paint my new house (interior). I'm too frugal to hire anyone. I'd probably have to work for months to pay a painter, so why bother.

Seven months ago I got a part time job after staying at home with my kids for fifteen years. At first I was terrified because I'd been out of the work force for so long, and I have problems with migraines, fatigue and anxiety. However, I found that I enjoyed the challenge of learning something new, enjoyed getting out of the house a couple of days a week, and a little extra money is always nice. (And I do mean a LITTLE extra money because, like most part time work, this job didn't pay well.) As long as I knew I had a Xanax in my purse in case I needed it, I was okay with the anxiety, and I only ended up missing one day due to a migraine.

Yes, they can fire you at will, but the flip side of the coin is that you can freely quit at any time as well without guilt. I worked my last day less than a week ago, and the reason I quit was because they made some changes, and the job became too stressful and wasn't worth it any more.

I don't regret it at all, though. Seven months ago, I didn't think I could get hired any place, and now I know that when the time is right, I'll find something else. It gave me good experience and new confidence. I must say, though, if I'd needed money to help pay tuition or other big expenses, none of the part time work I interviewed for would have been of much help because the pay is so low.

When we kids were about grown, my mom got a job at the local elementary school cafateria. It's not really full time. She was also cooking and serving there. She figured she had cooked for so many years, surely she could cook for a school. She enjoyed the company of the other ladies there, and they were off on all the days the schools were closed. No weekends!

When my kids were little, I worked part time from home as an editor. I would get documents from my company to read and edit for the grammar, punctuation, format, etc. It was great. You can get these types of jobs through agencies that place writers or editors. Try to Google.

If you have any experience in accounting or can do the books for a company, there are many small companies that only need people part time to keep the books, do payroll, etc.

Sometimes car dealerships let people work part time as the receptionist. They need people for many hours of the day, so sometimes people can split a job and work just a few hours a day. Sometimes you can work part time for a vet as the receptionist - book appointments, answer the phone, etc.

Hope this gives you some ideas.

WriterMom

I just want to say that Oct. 2nd i posted and said i feel too old,stupid,etc. to be able to get a job....well,i had an interview yesterday and was hired on the spot...it's not the most glamorous job but hey,it's a job none-the-less......i am actually excited about it and hope i like it.....since it's part-time it won't be much money at all but that's fine,i'm not working for the money anyway,i'm working to keep myself from going crazy.

Moonlight: Congratulations!!! My poor daughter is having such a hard time finding a part time job while she is in college....she applied as a cashier for a local supermarket that specializes in organic and whole foods, and my goodness, you woud have thought she was trying to be a spy for the CIA! They made her go through FOUR interviews, gave her a 'personality' test, did a background check, called her high school guidance counselor (1500 miles away) and then when it was all said and done, she didn't get the job!

I wish you luck in your new job...since you're not worried about the money part, you can really sit back and enjoy it! I was actually going to suggest (but you beat me to it, since you found something) that maybe you could look into some sort of home business...I know it sounds cheesy, but when I was younger, I sold Avon, Tupperware, and although I wasn't going to be able to retire on the money I made, it was a nice part time income. (Especially the Avon, because I didn't have to have 'parties'; I just dropped off their catalogues at all my local shops.)

Keep us posted!!!

Congratulations Moonlight! That's wonderful news. Now perhaps you'll realize that the lack of hope was just another symptom--not a truth--just a meno-illusion.

I'm so happy for you and it will do you so much good. The fact that you kept looking says a LOT about your strength. Believe in yourself--you've proven that you haven't lost a thing.

What was that they used to say? You're not getting older--You're getting better!

Miss Tibbs

Well i started my new job today....and i WILL be going back tomorrow...i only had to work 4 hours today and for the first 2 i was so anxious and so overwhelmed and uncomfortable....i was afraid i would have a panic attack.At one point i felt so overwhelmed with all the insructions,directions and new info that i felt dizzy and like the room would start spinning....then i don't know what happened,i started to relax and i actually ended up having fun and was chit-chatting with the other women and didn't even realize that i was still working when i could have already left,someone had to tell me it was past time to go and i was shocked that the time went by so fast.
I am worried about what it will be like at PMS time.....but maybe i should just not think about that and convince myself i will be fine.....

moonlight: Glad to hear the first day went well! Don't worry about PMS...if you're working with other women, they'll understand. And you know what the best part is? If you end up not liking this place, you can leave without any regrets at all--and find something else!

Keep us posted!

That sounds crazy what they put your daughter through, but I also heard that colleges are looking up people's profiles in "My Space". If the profile is not up to their standards or offensive in any way they go to the next candidate. My stepdaughter had something very off color on hers so her dad called her and told her to remove it. She is going to be starting to apply to colleges soon and he didn't want her to have any issues. You have to be really careful nowadays, I'm glad they didn't have this stuff back in the old days!!! Back then you just went on an interview took some tests and that was it. Now they turn you and your internet life upside down! For once I'm happy to be and old lady!!!!

well i am still working my part-time job....some days i HATE it and some days i actually like it....well,i take that back,i like the job,it's all the women i work with that makes me hate the job at times.Some of the "women" are in their 20's....snotty.mouthy and arrogant....one had the audacity to say to me tonight "i am the prettiest girl working here"....i just sarcastically replied "and you're not conceited about it either,are you?".....the other "young" ones are annoying,loud and obnoxious....did i ever act that way at that age?I sure hope not.
The other women are older than me and so gossipy and catty....i really enjoy getting out of the house and having something to do and not feeling so lonely all the time but sometimes i feel like i should just go back to being a hermit.......what ever happened to manners or being polite?is it considered "old fashioned" to want to get along with people and be nice?

Moonlight (such a pretty name!):

I know what you mean about manners! It does seem to be a thing of the past, doesn't it? I made sure I taught all my kids to be polite and they are, but I think a lot of people just didn't bother teaching their children. I know I had manners crammed down my throat as a kid, until it became second nature. I find I can be shocked by some peoples rudeness and lack of common courtesy.

I have found that a group of women oftentimes turns out to have a catty atmosphere! I have always prefered working in an environment where there are more males than females, or just a couple of other females. My sister and my 2nd daughter (I have 3 girls) both work at the Dialysis Unit at our hospital, and it is all women, nurses and service aids....the goings on there have been terrible!! There are three nurses there that are like a little Nazi Gang and use intimidation on both staff and patients....although we haven't really figured out why they do this, just to be hags it seems. Three different nurses have quit working there because of this Nazi Gang, and many others have come close, have been driven to tears, and some just refuse to work with the Gang...if any two members of this gang are working, some nurses will phone in sick to avoid working with them.

I guess you just have to keep yourself separate from them emotionally...and just because they have no manners, you still use yours! Don't allow them to bring you down to their level. And most of all, don't let them drive you away from a job that you enjoy most of the time!!

I wish you luck and sure understand how personalities can clash on the worksite sometimes.

Kathie

well i'm still working......i've settled into a routine,have got to know all the other workers and their personalities and am doing so much better.I don't let the "young" ones bother me,i just had to remind myself that they're just "kids".....and that's how kids are.
I couldn't imagine going back to being a stay-at-home wife,i really enjoy getting out and having something to do,it has made a world of difference for me.

Dear Moonlight,

Congratulations!! I am so very happy for you.

I am struggling with the "to work or not to work" question after a very difficult year and a half. Your post is giving me courage to think about it more seriously. Thanks.

Best,
Marcy

I am STILL working...in 3 weeks i will have 6 months in at my job.I am so thankful that i got a job,it has really been a big help to me mentally.I don't make much money at all but for me it's not about the money anyway.What i like most is while i'm at work i'm concentrating on the work and everything else is on the back burner.It also gives me a sense of purpose and makes me feel worthwhile.

Such an enthralling thread. I've been out looking myself, for employment, after 24+ years as a SAHM. And no luck.

Like someone else on here had pointed out, I need the money, but it's not just about the money. It's about needing a purpose, it's about feeling like you count, it's about the distraction from the everyday problems at home.

And like somebody else pointed out about the process for a cashier position. I had been thinking the same thing. I had an interview here locally with a big box store, home improvement national chain. You'd of thought I was interviewing for the CIA. It was so beyond ridiculous and over-kill. Do the people that make these decisions to be so absolutely beyond through, do they do so because they stay awake at night justifying THEIR existence in THEIR positions with the company? Stupid questions like the other poster pointed out "is it okay to steal?". Or my other favorite, which obviously has no correct answer "you have a family member you know to be stealing from their employer, would you turn them in?". And a "yes" or "no" as your choices for answers.

I went on this interview with this big box national chain store, and I couldn't believe the lack of professionalism. I wanted so badly just to get up and walk out. The woman who called to offer me an appointment for an interview, told me what time to be there (this after she seemed unclear in the first phone call as to what time to assign me, and told me she'd call me back in a moment, she didn't - she called me back 4 1/2 hours later). She told me what time/date to be there, said she'd see me then. I thanked her, hung up. Went to the store on such and such date and time, and she was off for the day. She hadn't told me she wouldn't be the one to interview me, that she'd be off for the day. Their customer service dept. then sent me to the back of this huge store, to what's I guess, a training room, told me that Dwayne would interview me. I don't know who the heck Dwayne is, never talked to him. But off I went, to go find somebody named Dwayne. Got there, to this training room, or what appeared to be a training room, and off in a cubby of an office to the side was this guy I assume to be Dwayne. He didn't welcome me, he didn't acknowledge that I'd entered the room, nothing. So I walked over, knocked on his doorframe to announce my presence and why I was there. He barely looked up from what he was doing and said "I'll be with you in a moment". I took a seat. It took him about 20 mins. to come out of his cubby, as I sat there unattended (mind you I showed up ON TIME, to have been interviewed, I thought, by the woman who called me on the phone earlier in the week). Finally he came out, asked me if I'd done the secondary survey on the kiosk at the front of the store. Told him no I hadn't. He sent me back to the front of the store to do so. Told me to come back when I finished. Did that. Came back, his office was locked, nobody there, no note, nothing. Took a seat, hoping, not really knowing, I guess he'll be back, or somebody will, who knows. Eventually some other guy walked in, and asked me if I was there for an interview. Told him I was. He asked if I'd filled out the bubble sheet. No. Didn't know anything about a bubble sheet. He handed me that, and told me that should've been done before the secondary survey at the front of the store, on the kiosk. Did the bubble sheet. That's where it asked stupid questions like if I would turn in a family member I knew to be stealing from an employer. Or, if ............ another favorite "have you ever stolen anything from any employer?". Yes or No, your choices. Only to then, go a few questions more down the page, and be asked "the items you have stolen from an employer, were they less than $5, more than $5?". WTH!!!!!!!!!! I had already checked "no", that I haven't ever stolen from an employer, now they ask you a question that assumes you steal from employers and give you the choice of more than or less than $5 worth of goods.

This was all so beyond ridiculous.

Filled out the bubble sheet, and by that time, the original fellow had returned and unlocked his little cubby office and was sitting in there. I got up, and walked over, again, knocked on his door frame, and told him I was finished with the bubble sheet. He said he'd be with me in a moment. Waited, again, another 15 or 20 mins., for him to finish his paperwork and come retrieve my bubble sheet. He simply came and took it, said nothing, (wouldn't it have been better for him to explain a little of the process of why I am sitting endlessly here, the original interviewer not there for the day, what the process might be, etc.), said nothing, took it and walked away. I sat there, wondering, am I supposed to leave now, am I supposed to wait, what, I dunno. He did come back out in a moment and said that someone would be with me shortly.

In a bit another fellow came in, took me to his office to interview me. There, that guy, just went down the littany of questions they had for me, all the while writing what I had to say I suppose, never looked up and engaged, in a face-to-face, give and take conversational type tone. Just kept writing, asking questions, I don't think he even saw me, at all.

It became pretty obvious, pretty quickly that this was a situation whereby they were looking for a cashier with "EXPERIENCE". I don't have any cashiering experience. But as someone else said, how do you get experience if they won't hire you?.

So many times, in all that un-professionalism, I wanted to just get up and walk out, literally. Why would I want to stay there and wait out an interview with these folks, where the left hand obviously doesn't know what the right is doing. But I stayed.

I did get a note in the mail a few days later that they unfortunately don't have any positons for me at this time. No big surprise.

Went on another interview the other day (again, no experience in this field), a group interview for a bank teller (part-time) position. Can you believe they did this. I understand the premise, bank tellers these days, are expected to "sell" the banks products, home equity lines of credit, no interest credit cards, etc., etc. When you go to a bank teller these days, usually they try to "sell" you some other product the bank sells. Selling, not something I'm particularly comfortable with, but figure that if I'm properly trained, and knowledgeable as to the product line, I can sure try. So I went on an interview for a part-time teller position. It was a group interview. Much took place as the interviewer (very professonal, very personable) told us of the job, expectations, etc. But towards the end, she walked around w/a grab bag. Each candidate had to reach into the bag and pull out an item, a random item. It was then explained to the group that they were to stand in front of all the candidates and "sell" the item they'd grabbed from the grab bag.

What was mine? A coat hangar.

I had to try to stand in front of the group of about 10 or so, and try to sell, of all things, a coat hangar. The guy next to me, had to sell a koozie, the girl next to him, a teddy bear, the girl on the other side of me, a motion detector, the girl on the other side of her, a television remote. Just a myriad of things they had in the grab bag. And each candidate had to stand in front of the group and "sell" the item they'd grabbed.

MOST uncomfortable!!!!!!!!!!!!

And again, I'm thinking to myself, "c'mon people, this is a $10/hour part-time frickin bank teller job, if I wanted to be a sales person, I would go find a job doing just that, and likely make a helluva lot more than $10/hour at 4 hours per day, you've got to be kidding me"

So demeaning.

As yet, haven't heard back on the bank teller job. But don't even really care.

I'm having a helluva hard time finding a job. And I keep telling myself (but maybe I'm not facing reality), that I'm competing, me, this middle aged lady, who hasn't formally worked outside the home in almost a quarter of a century, that I'm competing against young folks just out of college, and even they can't find a job (you read it everyday in the papers), competing against people who HAVE experience in bank telling, cashiering, etc., I do not. I keep telling myself that, but maybe the reality is that my day has come and gone, and I am unemployable. I haven't worked in so long, that employers just look at me and pass. I don't know. Hard not to beat ones self up.

[quote name='doaker' date='Mar 31 2008, 05:21 AM' post='216616']
Such an enthralling thread. I've been out looking myself, for employment, after 24+ years as a SAHM. And no luck.

Like someone else on here had pointed out, I need the money, but it's not just about the money. It's about needing a purpose, it's about feeling like you count, it's about the distraction from the everyday problems at home.


Happy to report. The bank where I had interviewed for a part-time teller job, actually has me on the list as an eligible candidate. They called, wanted to place me, but realized that geographically speaking, the openings they had might not be so convenient, and they were right. So they said they'd keep my information in a pile of eligible applicants, and if something opens closer to the region I prefer, they'd call me, or if I see something available that interests me, call them.

But in the interim. I'd gone for an assessment and interview process with a huge (nationally known) insurance company. A call center position. I've never done that kind of work before.

But they've hired me.

It's only part-time. But it's a start.

Now, I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers. But, we'll see how it goes. Start Monday

Call center work is a great place to jump back into the workforce after a long absence. It's generally easy to get an entry level job at one and the opportunity to advance would be great. Even if advancing up a call center's hierarchy isn't your cup of tea, it's a great way to get some current work experience on the resume.