I wrote this about the frustration I feel when I can't seem to feel "GOOD.".........Lately, with my CFS/fibro flares, well, it's cathartic for me to write....
This isn't finished but I thought I'd post it. It helps to share.

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"Beating out a rhythm in someone else's time,
Future flash of neon breaks the patterns in my mind.
Lifeless knowing nothing, but lifeless all the same,
The rhythms of the raindrops as they trace the path of pain.

Moving out of time with all that used to be,
Moving out of time with the one that I called "me."
Moving isn't moving when I can't put out one step...
So here I lie and here I wait while hours I do contemplate.
Waiting....
Waiting....
Hating....
Waiting....

Stepping out behind myself and trying to keep up,
Careful not to pass myself and spend more time hung up,
Knee deep in the mire......waist deep in the well,
Spending time or doing time, it's all a place called hell."

Waiting.....
Hoping....
Waiting...
Hating....
Waiting....



c Little Whiskers 2007

keep going , what you have sounds good

Thanks! Should have it finished tonight the way things are going....

You know what they say, "Out of adversity comes.......well, SOMETHNG" ....not sure yet in my case!! LOL

and on THAT note.......

be back later!
Guitarplayer Sue

Thanks! I love that! It put tears in my eyes - it reflects so well how I feel!
I do admire people like you who can express "feelings" so well.
I feel like "warzone me" - a battle between "me" and my body. I seem to be locked in a body which dictates my lifestyle, my thinking, well, everything.
In my mind I'm still that enthusiastic person, that member of the hippie generation full of ideals and ready to change the world, and we did!!!
Is that the "real" me I'm grieving over? Now and then she emerges and I rejoice!
Mostly she's trapped away under layers of insecurity, anxiety... - in that mire, as you put so well!
Thanks again, hope to read more from you!
You helped me to take a peep over the rim of that well and contemplate escape!
God bless, Jonie.

(((((((Sue)))))))


What a touching poem. Its very expressive and gives insight into what you're feeling. I know how hard your life is right now and I empathise. Things will get better for all of us - Just hold that thought.

Love you lots Sue


Gez~
x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

Very nice guitarplayer, Gives me tears. Lizardlover

Sue, I'll add in another voice of more, more! You expressed so beautifully of how I too feel so often. Jonie, you said it so well. My body has taken over my life right now and I'd sure like it back.

Sue, you also gave me an idea - meno rock and roll LOL! We all grew up with the sounds of rock but the songs now don't always express how we're feeling. How would Janis Joplin attack this age?

Jailhouse Rock? (Sorry Elvis)
Don't we all feel somehow as if we were jailed in this alien body of ours??
Could do with some meno-rock!
Jonie

Wow, I just saw all the replies now!! Thank you so much for the nice words...you truly touched my heart!

I haven't finished this yet....but I will and I'll post the rest of it when it's finished. Having a bit of a rough time still but I'll get thru it.....it just has to run it's course.

Love you all, thank you again,
I'm off to bed and hopefully and night of much needed sleep.
Hugs,
Guitarplayer Sue

HAHA "MENO ROCK!"

More like "WO-MENO-ROCK"

Did I just make up a new word?

"WHO NEEDS SLEEP?"

*raises hand.....raises both hands!!*

Goodnight, sweet dreams and jellybeans,
Guitarplayer
(Playing Sleepwalk to get me sleepy)