I don't know how much longer I can take these violent mood swings. Especially when I'm happy and full of energy and all of a sudden it feels like I'm punched in the chest and my heart feels like a ton of bricks. It's starting to really scare me.
I'm on anti-depressants and anxiety meds as needed, but I sure don't want to over use those. I've also been taking Estroven for a month and I'm still at the mercy of my hormones.
It has affected my job over the last year and I can't tell them what I'm going through. I used to be the super-competent perfectionist employee, but since my anger, rage, and paranoia came on board, I'm now the bad employee.
I not only have the mood swings, but the depression, fatigue, exhaustion, and aching joints.
I just want to get all this over with.
I was diagnosed as perimenopausal at 36. I'm 40 now.
Thanks for just letting me vent.

I really do sympathise with you. I am 46, have husband and two young children (I live in UK), and over last 12 months hormones (along with chest pain, bloating, insomnia and a variey of other weird symptoms) have gone haywire - its like severe PMT for 21 days every month!
I work from home, so it is mostly husband who suffers - one minute I am fine, suddenly I am overwhelmed by feelings of doom, negativety and terrible anger and irritability. Out of knowhere, I start to worry about what would happen to the children if I became ill or died, I think I have every terrible disease going, I decide I want a divorce, and so on..........I can start an argument over nothing and drag up grudges and events that happened years ago! I seem to calm down as quickly as I fired up. My husband is much more understanding than I would be, but I feel terrible afterwards when I think of the look of confusion and horror on his face. When I feel I am about to rage I try to supress it, but that is easier said than done. At least you know you aren't the only one - just think, there must be homes, offices and factories all over the world filled with women permanently on the verge of boiling over!
Best wishes
jules

Hi Maddison,

Oh how I can relate.I was a pretty together woman untill perimenopause came.
I blow up at the stupiest things like loosing it over not being able to get the tolit paper roll started while I was on the potty.I started sceaming at it and even broke the little rod that holds it.My grandson was over he is 4 ,,He asked through the door NaNa is there a monster in there!? All I could think to say was Yes and I got him..

I came out of the bathroom and he said good for you NaNa and preceeded to say if you ever need help with those monsters again, just call me and I will get them...Awww if it was only that simple.lol.

I get angry over hanging clothes up, doing dishes, and If (I feel )you ask me a stupid question .I can get ugly.I hate this . My poor husband aproches me with caution. I get angry at the way people drive and have panic attacks when I am driving and someone cuts in front of me or does not use a signal I start yelling at them.

I so want to be normal again.

Take care,
Pamela

Gee Pam ,you sound just like me some days, I am so sorry but I had to laugh when I read you were yelling at the toilet paper .Please don't take that the wrong way because I really know where you are coming from and I am sorry you feel that way. I know it is no fun. I used to be like that ALL the time but now for some reason its only a few times a week.
Your grandson is so cute and sweet to offer to take care of the monsters for you. What a sweatheart he is.
Aren't those stupid questions (i feel too) the greatest !!!! I woek with people all day and believe me they DO ask stupid questions !!!! Some days I could just jump over my desk and knock them to the floor . lol I hope you feel better , hang in there and hopefully they slow down.

"Mood Swing Mary"....that's the name my husband calls me. I'd like to have just 3 days in a row where my mood didn't fluctuate. I can be happy one minute, then on the verge of gut-wrenching despair in a second. Driving in the car seems to make me crazy nowadays. I get 'cabin fever', where I can't stand to be on the road for a second longer. I hate everyone else, and get worked up into these violent rages about the infractions of other drivers. I am a menace.

My friendships are suffering (what little ones I have). I had a big fight with one of my only close friends two nights ago. It seems every few months some relationship in my life blows up. What is going on??? I hate my forties. 3 months with no period so far, but I've gone as many as five, only to have it return, so who knows what is going to happen. This morning I woke up with my figers so bloated they look like little sausages. My feet are swollen up to the size of footballs. Guess what this did to my mood....how can you feel good when you never know what you're going to feel like upon awakening? Sometimes my mood swings really scare me. I get these dark, scary feelings that I don't care if I live anymore. That if I were to find out death was near, I'd welcome it. And then I worry that I'm crazy, and need to be hospitalized. I don't DARE tell anyone about these feelings...I'm afraid that within minutes of my 'confession' I'll hear police sirens and the men in white coats will drag me away (those who have known me for a while will remember that this actually happened to me....'nother story....geez, all I seem to be good at these days is having drama and stories....)

I've been on and off every AD there is. They all provide temporary relief, then they stop working. I'm sick of going to psychiatrists for the answer; they literally have no idea what is wrong with me and they seem to throw out any new drug, hoping it will do SOMETHING. Tired of being a guinea pig. I need to know that life will get better, that I will get better.

Thanks for letting me vent...

oh boy... I know just how you feel. EVERYTHING makes me unbelievably angry. This is not ME. I don't have anger issues... except.. every few minutes. How long does this last anyway? I'm not sure my husband is going to survive.

hey all i to am having anger issues my hubby is about ready to leave me im not this person had a hysterectomy 2 yrs ago and im horrible i wish they would put it back in lol i have only been married to this hubby for six mnths i have two grown children a 5 yr old child a year old grandson and two teen step son and im only 40 yikes im also self concious and jealous didnt used to be im a mess any way just wanted to say hi sharon

RoundRobin,
We seem to be living the same life. I have had those same thoughts about welcoming death . then i get freaked out about thinking that and get even more upset. it makes me cry when that happens because i want to LIVE more than anything and enjoy my life so how can i possibly think that? its so emotionally confusing. i know what you mean about not knowing how your gonna feel upon waking, i dont ever make plans anymore for anything because i never know if ill be feeling like crap or not. mostly i can bank on feeling like crap.and when i drive i get the same way, im always yelling and cussing other drivers out, they're all the dumbest people in the world! i hate my fourties too so far, im 45. this started right after i turned 40. i can go on and on agreeing with everything you've talked about but id just be repeating everything you said. i hope you feel better and have more good days soon!

well from what I can tell it is months to years..From what i am hearing some women dont get the anger issues and others do. I guess we`all have different major symptoms.I hope to get some relief from some natural herbs..

My friend said she only had anger with some anxityfor about a year and that was it... and that was 6 yrs ago.She stopped her period that year and it was all over, she said it was not that bad,...huh ..we should all be so lucky.
sweet blessings,
Pamela

THAT'S ANNOYING.

Hi sudio,

I know the frustration with the anger issues, as though you feel like somebody has taken over yourself. It hurts my feelings that I can go so far in the things I say when I am so mad. I sometimes cry because I know I have really hurt my husbands feelings.I never had anger issues,and could handle alot.I am so challenged by my emotions these days.

One thing that has helped if I can remember ,is to put a very cold wash clothe on my face and neck when I am really mad..Or when I feel the anger rising up in my chest..It causes me to calm down by shrinking the engorged blood vessels that rise in you when your mad.

Hope this helps .
Pamela

Hello everyone,

It has been quite a while since I posted - more on that later.

I can so relate to the above. Some days, like today, are a total nightmare for me. I hurt all over and I start gulping Aleve - after about three doses, my stomach starts bothering me. I hurt all over, I'm so angry and full of rage that really I feel quite dangerous sometimes. I just want to lock myself away and NEVER have to deal with a single person again.

This leads me to think, "What am I living for, anyway, this is hell." Then I think, no, I really want to live, to enjoy myself and do some of the things I enjoy doing. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE my job with an all consuming passion. I deal with the the public all day and with fellow staff that are back stabbers and that are as neurotic as I am. I recently was pushed into dealing with more responsibility than I want or need and I highly RESENT it. I am FULL OF PURE WHITE RAGE most of time. So, I suppose I am angry about never having the time to devote to some of the things I love. All I do is work at a crappy job and drive back and forth and pull myself out of bed everyday to do the same thing over again. This is when I feel like taking an "EnditAll" and being done.

I live in a Tourist town and boy, oh boy, driving is a nightmare for me. I get so angry and so frustrated at stupid people that don't know where they are and that fill my town with their needy presence.

Whew, sorry, I just so bad today. Yes, oh yes, the mood swings scare me too. There are days or half days when really I feel somewhat o.k. and in control. Other days, stay out of my way.

Where does it end?

Javawolf

I just joined and could not help but tear up when I read how you're feeling. My patient husband and daughter have been dealing with my "monumental" mood swings for 3 years. My husband says not to worry because he knows it's hormones but I feel so guilty everytime I lose it. I have tried everything to cope and sometimes I think death would be welcome...then I think I little to visually and scare myself. I am afraid to make friends anymore or deal with the public more than I have to for fear I'm going to blow up. I have had enough control to go to another room when I feel it coming on (if I can) and take it out on myself (hitting my face, punching the wall and screaming). I've talked to doctor after doctor and they've prescribed birth control pills (helps my other peri symptoms but not rage), anti-depressants (I have side affects), ativan (temporary fix), bio-identicals (my body stores them). I think the anger is the feeling of helplessness and lack of control over my environment and emotions. I feel like my body and mind are betraying me. I quit my job two years ago because I was working for a very high-energy, high-maintenance boss and just decided I couldn't push myself that hard anymore. I hope you are able to resolve your situation and find something that is not so stressful or an answer.

I am to the point where I can hardly cope. Is there anyone out there who has used anything (besides prescriptions) to help?

Have you tried Evening Primrose Oil capsules? I think they help balance the hormones. I don't have the mood swings as much taking EPO. I take 1000mg, 2 times a day.... and 3 times a day a week before my period.

I just have to jump in here and say to you ladies, hang in there. IT does get better and you will make it thru this and get back to yourselves again. I think I am a better having gone thru all of this. I guess its true what they say "what dosen't kill you makes you stronger. I had extreme anxiety and mood swings and explosive rage episodes. My Mom and Husband really thought I was going crazy. (My Son was the only one that said he thought I was getting menopausal. I remember telling him I was too young. This all started for me around 39 or 40. Little did I know, I should have listened to him). Admittedly I did do ALOT of crazy things so I can understand why they would think so. I'm now 49 have been 9 months no period. Feel quite mellow and life is looking more like living these days. My husband and I separated due to alot of this but he also had issues. Male menopause? Don't know where that relationship is going but I am determined to enjoy my life from now on. What a ride this has been. Just thought you'd like a little encouragement from someone whos been there and done that and made it through ok. Good luck and God bless you all.

Thanks for a great post! I need the encouragement as I too battle with rages. I can go for months with nothing and then bam, I go crazy. I don't know how my husband stands me. It is good to know this does pass. I am 53 and still getting periods so at least I know things will settle down when they end and hopefully I will be more myself again. I'm sure we've all done a lot of crazy things going through this, I know I have. What a ride is right, a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I hope we all get to that happy calm place again soon.

I can't say enough for the product "Happy Camper" which I get at Whole Foods. As soon as feel a mood coming on, I pop two of those and things become much better!
Vanessa

Hmm. I am going to look for Happy Camper at Whole Foods. What's in it?

Today is a major mood swing day for me -- I am sure it's stress related, lots of deadlines to meet today. At one point I just wanted to walk (or run!) out of the office and never come back! Sometimes it scares me that I might do just that, which is crazy because I really love my job and the people I work with. They are just like family. I really hate that out-of-control feeling, which does pass and then I feel silly for thinking such dramatic thoughts.

Well I think my name kind-of explains how I have been behaving! I felt better reading all this and knowing that I wasn't alone in acting like this.

Well I do feel better knowing there are others who I can relate to with rage experiences, all the anger energy could probably light up a city! I have a pretty good job, work atmosphere, etc. but even that ticks me off. Basically I think the people I work with are stupid, shallow, and annoying beyond belief. But a year or so ago they semed so nice. My hormones turned them into idiots!

Hi mood swings are not only scaring me but I am sure my family as well. It is difficult because I have a 15 year old that has his own mood swings that are truly challenging not only to him but everyone else in the house as well. As long as you can talk about it here and not feel so alone and scared about it then maybe that is a step in the right direction for us all? Hang in there and keep writing to us about your feelings! There are those out there that may not want to write about it but garner support from reading about other people's experiences.

Sincerely,
suzpaterson

Wow - this is how I feel a lot lately! I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten immediately mad over something stupid or how many times something has been flung across the room because it didn't work like I thought it should. I sometimes fly into an instant rage and when it's over, I think, "wow, that was ugly!". I can't help it! For instance, one moment I will working on my laptop, quite happily. Then it goes slowly or even worse, freezes up, and BOOM, the rage begins! I start cussing at it and close it hard and threaten to throw it! This is not like me at all and I hope it doesn't get worse!!!

Don't throw your lap top, you won't be able to talk to us! Count to ten, take some deep breathes and come on this site to vent, ask for comfort. I have always been a quiet, shy kinda person. I was at my sister's for Easter dinner and something was said and I just screamed back. Everyone just looked at me like what-the-hell. I couldn't help it. it was like 0-10 in seconds!