Welcome to the 50's Fabulous (And Sometimes Frantic) Forum.

You're 50 something!! You should be congratulated

How did it feel turning 50? Did you jump for joy, or did you grieve the loss of youth? It's been referred to as "the fabulous fifties." Is it fabulous for you?

The average age for entering menopause (postmenopause) is 51.4 years. What about you?

Are you still sufering the trials and tribulations of perimenopause? Still waiting for that one year of no period to end, so you can celebrate the end of peri and entering menopause?

OR, are you still getting your monthly period and experiencing the same symptoms that started in your 40's (or 30's)?

Have you become postmenopausal, but are STILL suffering perimenopausal symptoms?

How are your relationships now that your older (and wiser)?

What do you expect from this stage of life? What do you expect from life itself?

These are just a few examples of subjects to discuss.

This forum is exclusively for those in their 50's. Go for it and share with us whatever you'd like in YOUR forum!

(Anyone, from any age group, can post in this forum and reply with their own experiences as long as it's applicable to the questions and comments posted about being 50 something)

Dearest

Just under the wire! Whew!

Thanks, Dearest You're the best!

At 50 I was "Fifty and Fabulous Darlink!"........51 and things started to go crazy! Now 52 and out of the 34 symptoms I have 29! I haven't had a period since January and before that I only had 2 in 6 months. So I am kinda hoping I am near the end, because I get a lot of "bad" and "blar" days now. Lot of gastric changes and fibroids are causing pain and back pain. But without Power-Surge I would be a raving nutter! God Bless you Dearest!

Twiglet

Soon the madmess will end..........soon the madness WILL end!

Fiftyone and loving it. Though I keep forgetting I'm that old! I think I thought by the time I reached my 50's I'd be sooo OLD!! I think I'm doing great. I even out hiked my son on a fishing trip he invited me on a few weeks back. I even out fished him. Caught my limit before he did! We had to stop on the trail so he could catch his breath, not me! I only balked at having to get up at 5:00 a.m. --- it seems he doesn't agree with me that fish are just as hungry at 10:00 as they are at 5:00!

I'm a granny (three wonderful grandsons). Yes I have nearly all the peri symptoms. Instead of letting them run my life I try to out run the symptoms. I exercise, both aerobics and lift weights. Eat a very healthy diet... except for the occasional chocolate attack. I weigh less now than I did in high school. Wear a smaller size too.

With my husband my relationship grows and improves on a weekly basis. Sex is better than it was when I was in my 30's. My immediate family is so much sweeter/important to me than ever. I listen to my daughter... would love to give words of wisdom but she only needs/wants an ear right now. I laugh more, wear wilder colors/clothes. I do find I don't have the same tolerance for "friends," who cause me grief or only complain about what a miserable life they have. So my circle of friends has shrunk a bit (my choice). But those that remain are true and add great happiness to me as I hope I do to them.

I continue to seek out knowledge and new information that will continue to help me age as gracefully as I can. I just wish every woman on this page could feel as good as I do and be content with where they are in life.

Thanks for the 50's page Dearest. I look forward to hearing everone's take on life in the 50's!

54 here, and trying hard to be 'fabulous' once again regardless of what is going on.. still not post, last period in March, making my 6th period in 15 months... i think the flushes are the worst of it now, night sweats seem to have settled down to just feeling hot some times.. forgetfulness, including those total blanks at times, come in as a close second. otherwise, i'm not feeling so bad really for someone who has not been using any supplements other than vitamin pills, and the occasional energy drink.. (and coffee!)

turning 50 was almost forgotten in a house move.. i remember i was working hard, putting the things we had decided to leave behind out for a council pickup, thinking to myself, so this is 50...

i expect nothing more from this next stage of life than i have expected from all other stages.. it's really all up to me!

Dearest, I LOVE the idea of this age specific forum. Thank you! I'm 52, and I just couldn't resist making my mark in the Fabulous 50s thread, though I'm not feeling all that fabulous, really. Maybe that will come in the near future.

The latter 40s were the worst for me because of anxiety. When I turned 50 my periods really began to get erratic and I began having hot flashes. Age 50 was definitely a turning point in many ways. Physically, I felt old with lots of aches and pains, and I automatically began to slow down. I gave up high impact exercises for low impact, took up hand weights, and began walking more. Although I still have mood swings, they seem to have gotten better after 50. I feel more patient with myself and others, and take time to rest and relax. I've found mindfulness thinking to be invaluable and very compatible with who I am. Though I still have many days when anxiety and mild depression wrap around me, they are less intense, and I can usually bank on a good day followed by a bad one. Last year I went 7-1/2 months without a period, then got one last Spring. I've now gone somewhere around 60 days since that period, but I'm not counting as faithfully as I was during my 7-1/2 month "dry spell". In other words, I'm not obsessing about it, just letting what happens happen.

Perimenopause in the 40s was confusing and frightening. Peri since 50 has been enlightening and reflective. I have discovered women are very different in symptoms and at what age they experience them, yet we're ALL in the same boat. The women in my life who aren't Power Surge members all experience to some degree what we PS-ers do. I also think that even though men think they understand or try to, they aren't able to! I feel a wisdom in knowing all of this.

I'm very interested in finding out what age most Power Surge members are, and this Ages and Stages forum will tell. I've had a feeling since posting here that most women are in their 40s. I was 48 when I joined (tomorrow, it will be exactly 4 years ago!), and I was Desperate with a capital D!

I'm 53 now. I had a partial hysterectomy at 45, so I'm never quite sure where I am with meno. I don't really have hot flashes, but since coming to PS, I have learned quite a bit about the various things that have gone on with me physically for the last few years. It seems they probably all were peri-related, but I never knew. I've had some anxiety and sleep issues, but probably the biggest change is that I really don't want to travel much if I have to sleep anywhere other than my home. I am extremely sensitive to noise and staying at someone's home is very uncomfortable for me. My kids don't understand this and think I'm being silly.

For the most part, I'm fairly contented at this stage of my life; it's more stable than my younger years. I have some aches and pains, but overall, I'm doing well. I've had a lot of changes in the last few years, i.e., a move, empty nest, hubby having prostate cancer, but my faith has sustained me through it all. I am a bit lonely, as I have no family in the area we moved to. I find it hard to find good friends at this stage of life and moving to a new area. I have wonderful husband, a part-time job and a dog that is my empty-nest baby. I have trained her for therapy work and we do that several times a month. We are also training for rally obedience. That has really helped with the empty nest blues. My children are not living close to me, so I don't get to see them often. My oldest daughter is pregnant with her first baby, so I will be a new grandmother early next year!

I think I'm more accepting and patient with myself now and don't feel such a need to prove myself to others. I'm more content to just 'be'. Sometimes, I feel a little restless and want a different job, a new hobby, or something. It's nice to know that it's up to me to decide; I'm not forced to do anything.

Hello ladies!

What a great topic!!

I just turned 51 and despite the little miseries of menopause, I am loving this stage of my life!!! When I first began having menopausal symptoms, I did not think I would survive it. Although still with me, the hot flashes, aches and pains, and anxiety have lessened, and even the ol' pounding heart has quieted down. In a lot of ways, I feel better now than when I was in my 30s and 40s! I am definitely much wiser, I am finding that I have more compassion for others and I am a lot more understanding of the ways of others. But at the same time, I have grown very impatient with those who have petty complaints and hang-ups, because life is too short for such things!

My two grown children are out of the nest and married with lives of their own, and it is just my husband and me, and we are having a ball!! This is a second marriage for both of us, and we are both very protective of our time together and we both cherish each and every moment we have together. I have the best husband in the world! (well, I think so!)

Another thing I love about being 50 something is that I feel like I don't have to "worry" about how others perceive me any more-- they either like me now or they never will! I love being able to wear just about anything that suits my fancy-- jeans and a t-shirt one day and a dress and heels the next, and feel equally good in both!! But most importantly, I appreciate each day that I am alive! I thank God for everyday that I open my eyes and see the sun once more. I also thank Him for the safety and good health of my family, especially my parents as they age. Although I have had a lot of heartache in my past, I know now what a learning experience that rocky road was for me. I love my life and I love being 50-something!

Now, if I could just get rid of these darn heart palpitations that seem to visit me about once a month...

My best to all!

Mary Jo

Oops! Hit the button too soon!

Continuing ...

Relationship with hubby is good and stable. I'm close with my kids and we get along well, even if they don't understand what is happening to me. I sent my daughters the article on the 34 symptoms to try to help them understand.

The only sore point is my youngest daughter's hubby, who seems to think he is the judge of what I should be doing/not doing. He can be hard to take, but I keep quiet for my daughter's sake.

Probably one of the most important things to me now is to live a peaceful life, and for the most part, I am. I try to avoid all things (and people) that disturb that peace. That may sound selfish, but I feel I have earned it.

Bella

ahhhh, I love this 50's thread. Thank you sweet Dearest

I'll be 54 in Oct. Been here at PS since 2002. In my 40's I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, then I found PS. The relief I found knowing that I was not alone was so welcome. I read and read and learned that my crazy symptoms were the same as most of you on this board. I wasnt "losing my mind" afterall

I am surprised that I'm still in the thick of it as I see the average age is 51. I had a period in March but have only had maybe 5 periods in 2 years. After that last period I felt great, the nightsweats left, my moods improved, I felt happy ......then, it all returned worse than ever. I'm hoping that in the next year things will level out, my hormones will adjust and I'll feel like myself. These days my anxiety is very high but knowing it's hormonal and shall pass keeps me seeing a new day ahead, a happy, content time once again.

The one positive in all this is finally finding my "true self" I no longer feel quilt about saying "no" I speak my feelings and feel good about it, not ashamed or guilty like I used to. I no longer just give and give. For the first time in my life I truly feel that I deserve to be heard, deserve the same respect I have always given to others. This had been a big step and challenge for me. My role in life has been the caretaker.

Something very interesting that I see is most of us in our 50's no longer tolerate toxic relationships. We are much wiser and see thru the people that cause us grief. It's like we suddenly have a true sense about who our real friends and loved ones are. The ones who are sincere and not just about themselves shine thru and we move on from the garbage that held us hostage.

My hubby listens to me more now. My children are my friends. My grandaughter brings me joy

Other than the lingering physical stuff, life is good. I would never have made it thru this trying time without PS and all of you wise, wonderful ladies

Blessings~~ Fin

i keep seeing this 'average age' for meno - true meno, as in 12 months without a period - and wondering.. at 54 i am still in the thick of it all too it seems... ok, not as 'thick' as it was! it's a surprise when i have to go fishing in the back of the bathroom drawers (i'm sure i didn't forget to put at least one in there somewhere) on those mornings when i suddenly have a period start... i am beginning to know when i might have one, it seems the hot flushes stop for a week or two.. thankfully i don't have the nausea and tender breasts i used to have..

i liked what you wrote finola, about saying 'no' and leaving toxic relationships behind - how much easier life is when we are being true to ourselves.. knowing what is important to us, and not just going on what is important to others, makes life more simple in some respects i think..

i couldn't have made it this far without my husband - he has been so understanding, so supportive, always there for me no matter what.. he is still my best friend.

Hi Girls....I will be 52 in August and for my age I feel pretty good. Fifty was a milestone in my life that did not bother me too much. I was very happy to pass that mark when so many do not make it to Fifty. I have just started the skipping periods part of Peri. I had experienced heavy bleeding but that has improved.
I look forward to my birthday every year. My husband and teenagers make it so special. I look forward to hearing from others. this is a great thread.

51 in July, but I don't feel it.

In a 4 year young relationship with a man whom I absolutely love and adore (so different from my 25 year marriage!). We're both starting the second half of our lives together.

I moved in with him in November and it seems the day after I was hit with peri symptoms: hot flashes, mood swings, tingling extremities, restless sleep, did I mention mood swings!!?? And some of the lesser known symptoms. And this continued through January/February. I cried all of the time, and when I wasn't crying I was angry or withdrawn. In January I started therapy (CBT). Still tons of mood swings. I went to endo in March or early April and my thyroid levels were astounding. I've been hypothyroid in the past and always on meds, but I stopped the meds last summer. So back on the Levoxyl and he also prescribed Prozac to take the edge off. So betw the drugs and the therapy things were looking up and I finally decided to get my health under control. Had a complete workup - some anxious moments with a cervical biopsy and the mammogram - but everything in working order and I will NEVER take my health for granted again.

And the peri symptoms??? They slowly disappeared. I'm back to monthly periods. I am flummoxed by this.

Anyway great forum!

Marie

I will be 51 in August and feel the best I have in years!!! It made a year in January since I've had a period and feel so much better than my 40's. I think the whole decade of my forties was spent in total hormonal fluctuations, but now that I am periodless things are so much better.

I have a grown daughter who is married and gave birth to a beautiful little girl in November. I also have two more daughters getting married this year. One is getting married in four weeks and the other in Dec. I am so looking forward to having more grandchildren.....this is the best time of my life!!!!! I have a wonderful husband who I have lots of fun with.............we go camping, concerts, walks......and of course spending time with my little granddaughter. Life couldn't be much better. I appreciate every day and try not take anything for granted, I feel truly blessed!

Those of you going through peri, hang in there it DOES get better. I wouldn't have believed it in my 40's if someone had told me that but now that I've gone through it I can tell you that it is true.

Love you all,
Joey

Dearest, thank you, and what a great idea to have the different forums for age groups. I do tend to feel more comfortable with people who are about my age. It's just easier to relate to them and their issues. But I still will enjoy reading the issues in the other age forums.

I feel better now, at 55, than I ever did in my mid to late 40s. I've been post since I was 51, and went through meno at just about that time, 51.4 years. Since then, I've been able to lose weight and stick to an exercise program. I use a treadmill and walk as fast as I can for 50 minutes every day. I've noticed that I might even have just a bit more muscle now, after six months of using the treadmill, and I don't get winded and exhausted. I have a personal goal of getting to 3 miles in 50 minutes, and I'm still working on that.

I still get depressed sometimes, especially that "invisibility" thing with middle-age. I don't know how to deal with getting ignored and snubbed more now than when I was young. I guess that with time, it won't bother me anymore. I do know that I don't care if everyone doesn't love me. I am happy with myself and being alone. In fact, I prefer it most of the time. I can go anywhere and do anything alone, with no anxiety and low self confidence like I had before.

Maybe once in a while I do get more respect than I did when I was 20. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's a good feeling.

Overall, the 50s and post meno is better than the 40s and peri for me.

Hi All!
I'll be 52 in Oct. Been married nearly 30 years. I am still in peri & having regular periods, blah! Even though I still have many peri symptoms, I think the worst for me is the fatigue and weight gain. I exercise every day and eat pretty healthy, but still I have not lost any weight and I am soooo tired. I've been checked out and everything seems to be fine. All in all, I am pretty doggone healthy and I am very thankful for that!!

I was excited about turning 50. I wanted to leave my 40's behind. I had lost both parents and many relatives during that decade, and I had a roller coaster ride of peri symptoms. I like being in my 50's. I think I have become much wiser (hopefully), confident, comfortable in my skin, & spiritual. Plus, I can be as sassy as I want! I feel that my 50's are going to be sooo great as soon as I get out of this peri/menopausal phase of my life!

Hi,

I'm 55 and have to say that I wish things were going a bit better. I stopped hrt for two months earlier this year (was on for 4 yrs.) thinking that I had to be finished with meno. To my dismay, I became acquainted with the 34 symptoms for the first time.

It has been awful trying to find my way back to before I stopped hrt.

I had gone to college for the first time at 47 and received my Master's degree last August. I was looking forward to getting out and working in my field; instead, menopause has messed me up. I have maybe 50% mental clarity (unable to concentrate, focus, remember). I have been unable to work because of this and and other symptoms--profound fatigue, no energy, internal shaking, etc.

I have been back on hrt but at a much larger dose but have not received the same benefit as before.

This is the first time I have felt really old and wondering when I'll die.

I apologize for such a downer post, but I'm just trying to "keep it real."

Colleen

Aww Colleen sorry to hear you're on a downer at the moment. I know how it feels when the symptoms of menopause sabotage your working life! I stopped HRT last October and it wasn't until two months later that the symptoms of menopause hit full force. Possibly that's what you experienced. For me there was no question of going back on because of some medical issues concerning oestrogen. I don't know if you weaned off HRT or stopped abruptly. When I asked my GP how to stop HRT she said continue to the end of the current packet and then just stop. I discovered afterwards this was very bad advice as when stopping HRT you should wean yourself off gradually. Well my hormone levels went into freefall and hence the intense menopause symptoms. I later consulted a different doctor who is a menopause specialist and she said the menopause symptoms can be especially intense if you stop HRT abruptly and that was what was happening to me.

I started using natural progesterone cream, phytoestrogens and dietary supplements, under the direction of the new doctor, and the intense symptoms gradually decreased and eventually stopped as my hormones regained balance again. I did ask her at the time how long it took for the body to adjust after stopping HRT and she said it's a very individual thing.

I do still experience the odd menopausal symptoms and I suspect my hormones are still fluctuating a bit. However the symptoms aren't too troublesome.

Hi, y'all! Ah, a "Fifties" forum - - - I remember back when Dearest had trouble saying that "ffffffift-" word!!! (Remember, Dearest?) And now I'm in the group (52)! I've been hanging out in Power Surge for about 10.5 years - started a few months before my hysterectomy at 42. Although I didn't realize it until later - I started perimenopause at about age 34 - so I guess I have had lots of practice by now!!! Doctors didn't believe it until I had my hysterectomy and they discovered my ovaries were atrophied. Anyhow, after hitting full menopause with a bang after the operation, it took months to begin to establish the right ERT for me. I later added Testosterone which, with the Estrogen, helped tremendously. Can't do progesterone - even the natural kind. And Provera was like poison for me. Am I 100%? No - I doubt I'll ever get to that - but I am so much better! The ERT with Testosterone has been a God sent! At least I am "mostly sane" this way and can function!!! Just for background, I am 52 (will be 53 in Sept); have a wonderful hubby,Wendell, married for 31 years; two daughters; two son-in-laws; two grandbabies; two cats and one poodle; work full-time as an Educational Diagnostician (might be changing to a different education job soon - we'll see!); still (forever) working on my PHD in Special Education/Educational Administration; a Christian and active at church; run (very, very slow jogging - if truth be told); former WW leader - still do WW, but not always as diligently as needed; like yard work/hate housework; ect, ect!

So, glad to know y'all, my fellow 50's girls!

(In case you can't tell - I'm from Texas! And an Aggie - Whoop!)

Hi, Interactive,

I, too, was advised to just "stop" hrt which I did. What a big mistake.

I'm glad to hear that you're through the worst of it. What medical studies did you read about estrogen? It's so hard to get reliable information.

Take care.

Colleen

And I managed to forget to add my name - Zelma!

Interactive,

I just realized (after rereading post) that you didn't mention medical studies but rather medical issues. This is my brain fog in full force.

Colleen

LOL that's OK colleen.

I had a breast lump which turned out to be benign, was investigated for a suspected ovarian cyst and was discovered to have two uterine fibroids. My GP thought that Estrogen was stimulating breast, ovaries and of course fibroids so I stopped taking HRT.

Hello to everyone. I have read so many entries on Power Surge. I have learned so much from everyone. I am 57. I had "regular" periods until April of 2005. So I am officially post menopausal. I felt really good for the most part until my periods stopped. Then the roof caved in. To clarify what regular periods I had...they came every month, except for a 4 month respite one time in early 2004. Then they got heavier and heavier. I had all the appropriate tests to elimate bad things.... I was bleeding so heavily in December of 2004, the doctor put me on birth control pills. They made me a bit edgy. But my periods were controlled. I stayed on them for 4 months, had a final period and then nothing since. At that point I started with the fatigue which has continued on and off for two years now. It has made me depressed. I have some days that I feel good and lots of days where I feel sooooooooo tired. I took HRT for a month...didn't really help and I think may have caused migraines. I have been taking an antidepressant for two months...it seems to have helped some. But I still have too many days where I feel tired and unmotivated. I so yearned for the day when my periods would stop...and now I chant the words..."Watch out what you wish for." Who knows what happened to me. The doctors don't seem to have any real answers. I have had all kinds of tests and I am quite healthy according to all of them. Too bad I don't feel healthy. I do feel thankful for all that I can do. I practice yoga at least 5 times a week. I walk a lot. And on the days when I do feel like my old self I try to get lots of things done. I force myself to attend social activities. Sometimes that helps. And I pray that this will pass soon. I am thinking of trying the HRT again. If anyone has any words of wisdom or a similar story, I would love to hear from you.

Well, I'm 54 now. 50's have been better than the 40's, that's for sure.

I had a hysterectomy in January, but I was already post meno, plus I kept my ovaries, so I haven't noticed things getting any worse, or better, hormonally. I still have the occasional hot flash and palpitation, but nothing like I experienced during perimenopause. Had a few prolapse repairs during the hysterectomy, and that has made some things much better.

When I was about 43 I started with all kinds of weirdness, and attributed much of it to peri, but it just kept getting worse, and the symptoms more bizarre. I was eventually diagnosed with MS (mid 40's) and then I couldn't tell what was MS and what was peri. But now that I'm post-meno, many of the peri symptoms have ceased (internal tremors have gone, and they were the most troublesome.) The MS is stable, I have good days and bad...most troublesome is I just don't have much stamina when it comes to walking. I function fine in the house, and limited jaunts (once around the grocery store perimenter is doable)...but no more long shopping trips or theme parks for me unless I use a mobility aid...and to tell you the truth, I never was much of a shopper anyway, so now I go online and order presents and things we need. I can easily manage going to a restaurant, and that's a good thing (did I mention I don't cook much anymore, LOL.)

I work a full time job, but from home, so that's great. I can go to work (log on to my computer) in my jammies if I want, but truth is I get up early with my hubby most days (5:30) and so I'm dressed for the day early. DH and I have been married for 27 years, and he's a big help, if he sees something around the house that needs doing, he does it...I never have to ask. If I have a bad day and he notices something hasn't gotten done, he'll just quiety go about finishing the task. My 19 year old is still at home, but will graduate from college in December. He'll probably live home and attend grad school (we're fortunate to have several colleges in our area,) but he's so in and out, due to his work/school/social schedule, and takes care of his own needs that I really have no responsibility in that area. The pets do rely on me, LOL.

As far as activity, I have gotten used to and enjoy my quiet times when nobody's home but me and the dogs. Hubby and son go off in the boat for the day, or sometimes off on "boy vacations" (where they do stuff that I never enjoyed anyway and couldn't participate in at this point) and I stay home and enjoy the solitutde (although I do have plenty of family and friends around if I want to visit.) I also seem to have lost my taste for TV and am more into reading or doing puzzles, crosswords, etc. We still take in a good movie...when one comes along, but there again, my taste has changed in what I consider worth seeing.

The one really hard issue we have dealt with in our late 40's and 50's is parental care. My husband's parents have both passed away now, but before they did, we had to deal with care issues (after my FIL's death, MIL lived with us.) Now my parents are quite elderly and we're facing some of the same issues, but so far it's been manageable.

But back to the 50's topic. Things just are so much more settled than they were during my 40's, so it's a nice place to be!

Thank you dearest, this is a great forum! It's nice to have a board where us 50ish gals can communicate. Many of us are fairly new and this will be a nice place where we can make new friends having the same issues. I am 52, will be 53 in Sept. Married, one daughter, one granddaughter and another grandchild on the way, due in Jan. I work part-time in healthcare related field and love it. I would go crazy at home all day! My peri symptoms started with heart palps many years ago which I still fight. I have had problems with ovarian cysts in the last several years. Heavy periods and anemia have been a problem too. Oh, I about forgot, weight gain! Anxiety hasn't been too bad yet, mostly I fight a battery of on again off again physical symptoms. I have done tons of research on most of the 34 symptoms, so I would love to help anyone that has questions. I wish I had all the answers to the peri and post menopause problems, but together we can support each other. Looking forward to meeting everyone interested in this forum. Connie

Hello

My Name is Marie but call my self Tlily. My daughters made up that name when I began using the net as I did not know anything but anything about using a computor. I still have so much to learn.

Entering the 50s, many women are surpose to come into their power. Getting involved with things that make them selfs feel good. I am at the hight of my career at 57 and love it. I am a psychotherapist and love my job. I have a private practice and am a supervisor at a mental health center. I love working woth woman and families. Have a good husband and two wonderful girls. One is a psychtherapist at a hospital and getting her second masters in teaching and the other one is trying to find a teaching job. I have to admitt I wish there were married so I could have some grandchild but more settle down with house and bulid on their life. I do worry about them like all mother worry about their children. My husband's job is not doing to good he is self employed so that causes much stress around here at times,

I am in post meno and since I moved into that stage, I thought it wouls get betterbyt it face my healt has gotten worse since I enter it. Sever acid reflux, intestional problems, IBS got worse, bad sweats, high bP, horrible dryness everywhere. I was hoping my fiftys would be more freeing. Oh that anxiety never quits. I guess I should take more responsibility and do more exercise and stress reduction stuff.

Anyway I have come into that good power at work and now hoping I will in health and personal stuff. I am so thankful for many of the women on this site because they care and know what you feel. I thank God for this site as it really helps. I need to post more and help other women like they have helped me get through so roung medical times.

Tlily

Hi, Interactive,

Sorry to hear about your health scares! Glad to hear that everything came out okay. How are you doing without hrt?

Colleen

P.S. Sorry to answer so late, but couldn't find the forum! (Now I know that I have lost it!)

I have an old saying framed and sitting on my mantlepiece. It simply says ~ "You can't do the right thing the wrong way".....Then at the bottom, I added my own touch ~ "wanna bet!"
At 54, I am living alone, don't see my eldest son (33), or my grandchildren (I think I have 4) I have never had a support system (except for my meno mates in PS) and apart from my parents, my family have always treated me like "the enemy"
I still can't determine what was meno and what was stress and despair.
I have a constant underlying sadness and an overwhelming sense of loss. I can't wish it away or change it or ignore it ~ "this IS your life"! like it or lump it!
I have just moved away from the area I lived in all my life to avoid some of those nasty little reminders and just get the bloody hell out of everyones way ~ like an old cat that quietly retreats to the bush to die in solitude and peace.....just a metafore, I'm not ready to die just yet and make the bastards happy! Where there's life, there's cope, errr hope, right?

PS ~ I am niether fabulous or frantic Dearest, but rather just happy to be 54 and above ground lol

had a grin there jimi - you have reminded me of this old saying i have always loved:

any day above ground is a good one...

good luck!

Hi
I am now turned 55 and until now have had few menopausal symptoms except for heavier periods for the last year or so which have been a bit of a nusance. This month my period was 5 weeks from the last one and I have felt 'warm' a few times.
My question is really as I am older am I likely to get through the peri stage faster?
Any one have any experience of not starting til later on in life?

Jemima

Hi Jimi,

I'm happy that you're above ground too. Haven't talked to you in awhile. I was hoping that the move would bring you more peace, but you still don't sound too great. Would a cyber hug help? If so here's a big one .

You say you don't see your eldest son. Is he the one with the 4 grandchildren? How many other children do you have and do you ever see them? Sorry for so many questions. I just feel so bad for you.

My wish for you today is that you find contentment and peace. I hope life begins to brighten up for you. You do have such a great sense of humor. That alone should help you to make new and caring friends. You take care and try think happy thoughts---even for just today. One day at a time and who knows what might happen.

God Bless,

Donna

I am 2 months shy of 53 and at the point where my periods are totally on their own schedule. I was pretty regular until about 1 year ago. Now sometimes they are very light sometimes heavy. Sometimes short sometimes 10 days long. But there is light at the end of the tunnel because I don't get the headaches I used to or the cramps that I have lived with for the last 5 years or so. Seemed like I was a teenager again with the PMS and anxiety. But that is beginning to lessen. Now if I would just stop this bleeding I am good to go. It seems like the late 40's and my early 50's have been the best of times and the worse of times. Worse certainly for physical symptoms but best as far as my relationship with myself and my husband. Sex has been great and we have been working around my irregular bleeding (he is a very patient man). I am actually looking forward to the rest of my life as I now do not worry about little things (like losing that 10 lbs I have been trying to lose for 15 years) I can wear comfortable clothing and shoes and enjoy just spending time alone just the two of us. So......I am hoping that by 54 or so I can finally say I am done with this and get on with the rest of life.

Hiya dcamp (((hugs))) right back at ya and thankyou for your kind wishes....surrounding myself with them like a security blanket
I am acctually loving my new place and space but the reality of "loved ones" is constantly in my thoughts.

Yes, my eldest has the 4 children. I have 2 sons and have a better if not perfect relationship with my youngest ~ problems arise if I get too comefortable within myself and with his company and I relax and forget the reality of the past and it's ever present consequences etc etc. ~ lota bla.....too many issues that will never be resolved makes for not much "safe" conversation ~ such is life ~ I just can't accept that this was mine! (said the little princess )
I hate waste with a vengence and feel the true essence of me has been wasted by and on the inconsiderate actions of others and the "others" were my nearest and dearest!
Simple deliberation ~ if the most important people in your life appear to have no conscience (or care for your well being) and you have an enormous one, it's obvious that you are going to suffer as a result ~ it's that old friggin nurture thing....stuffed if ya do, stuffed if ya don't!

UNFAIR! she shouts from the safety of her living room and no one within coowee to disagree

Constant distraction is the order of the day.

Okay... I'm not 50 yet (hanging on by a couple of years!) but I had to respond to Jimi. My heart has been with you for a few years now jimibugs- your sadness comes through your words and I felt pain when I read your post. If I had a bag of wishes- I would give them to you.

XOXOXOX

I don't, but maybe some of the folks in the 60's group might!

Zelma

Hi Jemima:

55 is a bit late to be still having your periods. Most women go through meno at 51 or thereabouts - BTW - did you get your periods early or late?

Lara Falcon

I have a cousin who had periods until age 58. Doctor told her it was normal. I'm almost 52 and still have periods, but I rather not have them anymore!

I had them until I was almost 55 They were regular, every 28 days and then one month, they just stopped.

Jimi ... "feel the true essence of me has been wasted "


I'm sorry to read your post too Jimi. I hoped that things would be better for you once you got your new place.

I have made the comment too, to DH about "Kids want you when they want you, but don't want you when they don't"[color="#FFFFFF"] Despite all we do for our only daughter ie help her out with money, buy her & baby stuff, decorate, look after baby, let them stay here a month, waited on and rent-free, when they had baby (and no thank you, which p-d me off a bit), my daughter makes it plain that we are only welcome when it suits her... hence I don't visit her much. I enjoy her company (most of the time ) but she's now her own woman and must make her own way.


I have discovered that my life would not be worth living if I didn't make myself happy, and I am quite comfortable with filling time with my own interests and not relying on others to give me that warm fuzzy feeling. I have also decided to buy stuff for the baby (like my parents did for us) but gifts for her will only be for occassions (does that make me seem mean? I hope not )

You are a witty, intelligent woman, use your true essence for you.

I probably got way from the original thread...

I am 52, 53 in November. I did not celebrate my 50th birthday... just laid on the bed feeling sick. We had a family party a week before when my husband was 50...he's exactly a week older than me. My husbands family had arranged a cake with a photo of him on it...they bought me flowers... in fact everyone bought me flowers. My only daughter had picked the week of my birthday to go to Paris. She said she didn't realise it was my 50th. At that time I was going through the nobody cares about me/puts me first, thing and I was so miserable.

Now that most of the meno crap is over, I am much happier and I bumble along, quite happy with my own company. The most important thing I have learned is to say, "No". I don't make excuses, I just say no, or "I don't want to, thanks for asking". I wish there were more hours in the day, there are so many things I'd like to do.

The most difficult thing I did was to go away on holiday for two weeks, which I did in summer. Upset tums and anxiety about going out have been my bugbear for the last ten years and we hadn't been on a proper holiday since 2001 (we had a week in the UK last year in an apartment overlooking an estuary, so we didn't go out every day), so consequently it was a biggie for me. I loved it...and didn't really want to come home! In fact I've been trawling the'net to see where we can go next. We have a grandson now, which is absolutely wonderful. He won't always want to be with us, so we just enjoy each day as it comes.

PowerSurge and it's lovely ladies, has been my greatest support throughout this time.

Amazing - did she look young for her age -

Lara

Yes, & she still looks great!! She never had any meno symptoms neither.

Hi Y'all,

55 (56 in Sept.) I was 6 months period free, and then started back in June and now in July having another. My doctor said that I am late with the peri-thing. But after reading the forums here, I see that no age is too late or too early. Also my migraines have increased.
Lately I have been telling my daughter who is in her 30s to take good care of her body and mind, to take vitamins and get plenty of excercise now. I wish I had.
I used to have lots of energy and now none. I started taking supplements a week ago (NewPhase complete) but have to wait to see if it is of any help. Also, taking B-complex. I have all the peri symptoms. Have no family or friends close by for support (they all live in another state) I have co-workers who are same age group but no after work association. My un-sensitive husband is trying his best to be understanding and supportive, so I have to give him kudos for that, but his is always asking "what's wrong" and that makes me want to scream. Yesterday, I got up, got dressed for work, got in the car and bam it hit me,THE BLUES or something. I went back in the house called in sick, went back to bed and cried. All my adult life, whenever I was faced with something tough or painful, I would say to myself "This too shall pass". Well, I guess I have to repeat it daily now, all day, everyday. For how many years? Will the 60s be better?, gee I hope so. My moms 87 and she is more cheerful and energetic than me. I used to be the cheerful upbeat person that everyone would come to for support and advice. When I turned 50 I felt great. Partied in New Orleans with friends for 3 days. 51 and 52 was good too. But 53 is when things started going down hill, or should I say over the hill. Now I couldn't party for 3 hours let alone 3 days. I miss the young me, but understand that this is part of the natural process.

Anyway, this is a great site that I will be coming to often. Thanks and bless you all

HI Ladies,
Glad to see this thread is getting some action. Alice, you are so right, I enjoy my own company more everyday and just doing me things are really fun! I have one daughter, one granddaughter and another on the way. I love buying things for them, but I think it gets to be expected along with always paying for the meal when we eat out. She always says thank you, but never offers to pay. Maybe that comes from being an only child?
How many of you ladies are still working outside the home? Retirement looks good some days, but financially it's not possible yet. I really enjoy my job and would probably go crazy sitting in the house. I am able to talk with alot of interesting people at my job and would hate to lose that social interaction.
Hope everyone has a good weekend. Connie

Hi, Connie! I have 2 daughters. One catches on easy and tends to want to pay - sometimes for me! The other one needed some "tutoring" - she's better, but sometime obvious things just don't make it by the "barrier" without being spelled out. One thing you might try is asking her out to lunch "Dutch treat". If she doesn't know what that is, explain that you want to see her for lunch and enjoy her company; but each of you will pay for yourself this time. Go somewhere she can afford. Might even make it a "tradition". You can let her know sometimes you'll invite her out and "treat" but that will be a treat. Whether she'll "treat" you back, I can't say. But my "tutoring" daughter treated me the other day - so you never know!!! ;-)

As far as working - I don't really see how I can "not" work! We need the income - I don't think either one of us is really "planning" on retiring unless our health makes it impossible to work. I will be glad when I at least finish my PHD - I'm doing that and working full time right now - too, too much!!! And I've got 2 grandkids I would like to spoil a bit more!!! ;-)

Zelma

Zelma,
I have so much respect for you working fulltime and getting your PHD! After college I started working and never went further with my education. I am not sure I have enough brain power left to go back to school! I will try the dutch treat idea with my daughter. I guess I am guilty of paying too many times and not saying anything because I know her and her husband are strapped for money at times. I need to let them stand on their own feet. When you get your PHD will you stay at your same place of employment or change? You will probably be able to pick and choose where you want to work. It is so refreshing to hear about someone still working hard on a career while in their 50's. Some women use peri and post menopause as an excuse to pull out of life. My MIL did that in her 40's and 50's and ended up alone and bitter. She never re-joined life again after her "change" and lost all her friends and most of her family. Keep studying hard, you are showing the world us 50-something gals are still a vital part of society! Connie

What do I want to be when I grow up??? Not for sure, to tell the truth! I'm currently an Educational Diagnostician/Special Education Coordinator. With my PHD, I'll have several options. I could be a Special Education Director, a professor at an university, a principal or etc... I don't really know what all! I don't think I'll stay where I am - unless I get an assistant director position. That would give me the experience to be a Special Ed Director. My original idea was Special Ed Director and teach some college level courses on the side!

Zelma

Hi Jemima,

I turned 55 in February and still get my period although they're not as regular as before. I have most of the peri symptoms except for hot flashes. My gyn told me I am too old to be having periods but everywhere I read it says the AVERAGE age is 51 - so that means people older than 51 are getting their periods. When I showed her the list of 34 symptoms, of which I had hi lighted 21 of them, she told me to see a psychiatrist. She's scheduled me for some tests this week to rule out, something other than, "I'm having a late menopause". Once the tests are done, and hopefully come back normal, I'm getting a new gynocologist. I'm sure she is good at delivering babies but I think she's awful at treating menopausal women. Thanks for sharing that you are 55 and having a period. You made me feel a lot better.

Colleen