I have been thinking about buying some new shorts. The ones I have are either too short, too baggy, or something just doesn't look right. So I tried some of them on to figure out what I should look for in new shorts. Then I took a good look...

It seems shorts make me look kinda stumpy, like I'm shorter. And they make me look wider (and fatter, LOL!) than I really am. Then there's the cellulite, and the sagginess above my knees. All that, and I am not even overweight!

I did some "research" last night, and the "What Not to Wear" ladies, Trinny and Suzanah, say that shorts should be for the beach only. They also say that women over 35 should not wear skirts above the knee. And most people can't wear cropped pants well, because the make us look shorter and draw attention to thick calves. I can see how full-lenth pants and longer skirts can make people look taller and more slender. So maybe I should stick to those?

Of course I am okay wearing shorts around the house. What I'm wondering about is if I should wear them out in public? I have certainly seen people out there who should not be wearing shorts, LOL! I have always been a very casual dresser, and won't wear anything that isn't comfortable. My legs are also very white. I have some comfy, lightweight linen pants that I often wear in the summer if I am going to an appointment or something. I love stuff from JJill.

Thoughts? (No "wear whatever you want" comments please, I already agree with that but want some specific comments on the shorts thing. Thanks!)

My legs still look pretty good, but at 53, I'm not as comfy in shorts out in public anymore. I usually do capris. As for looking stumpy in capris, oh well. I can't give up absolutely everything because someone might think I look stumpy. Skirts are great and I love wearing them, but they are impractical at times. I still have a few skirts that hit at the knee, which I think are fine for me.

Anyway, I've seen Trinny in some of the most bizarre and ugly outfits - even some news sites have commented on her choices! She would be a good candidate for that show, What Not To Wear." LOL!!

I think shorts, and particularly the bermuda shorts that are in style now, and capris are the best styles ever for middle aged women. I would not wear short shorts anymore, but I love these alternatives. I don't know who Trinny and Suzanah are, but if they are telling 35 year old women never to wear shorts except at the beach......that's ridiculous. That's like saying we should all be ashamed of our bodies from age 35 on. Try some shorts/capris on, there are so many different styles from fitted to wide legged, so find the styles that you like and feel good in, and don't worry about what someone else says.

Greenie,

I live in a beachy coastal town and shorts are a staple here at just about any age. At 47 I would not wear short shorts, but that's just me. I wear shorts around the house and yard. I wear shorts to the grocery store. I would not wear shorts for a doctors appointment,or to church...............yet many do here. I don't work outside of our home, nor do I have much of an exciting life that takes me all around the city, so shorts in the summer are an everyday thing for me. I usually only wear black or khaki............don't know why but those are my main colors!

You are young, I say wear shorts!!!

Kaydee

Well I am overweight and my legs have ugly veins and aren't as attractive as they used to be BUT I live in the desert where it gets hotter than a turkey basting in the oven, so shorts are what we live in here no matter what your legs look like year round! I would melt if I had to wear long pants so for me, there is no other option!

I don't think shorts are "age" specific. I hate the idea of having to "middle age" my selection of clothes because I'm 45 (heck I buy jeans at Tillys ). If I like it and look good, I'll wear it. If you have nice, toned legs, I say go for the shorts.

Let me add a few thoughts here. I have never really cared what people thought of how I look, or cared about what was trendy. I have made attempts at being fashionable sometimes, but I'm not sure how successful I was, LOL! I am thinking, at this juncture in my life, if maybe I should gain a bit of fashion sense? It would be a new thing for me!

I've seen some of the makeover shows on TV, and I can't believe what a difference the right pair of pants, or the right-shaped shirt, or the right hair cut can make! I saw a show about jeans on Oprah last year. It inspired me to try some boot-cut lower-rise jeans. They make me look taller and skinnier! I have a t-shirt that is kinda fitted. I was afraid to wear it when BIL was visiting because...it shows off my boobs (gasp!), LOL! I tried it on again today, and it really does make me look skinnier, shapelier, and taller than the boxy t-shirts I normally wear. I should wear that fitted T-shirt more often and not be afraid to look good and even sexy! In fact, I have sometimes avoided wearing my boot-cut jeans because I am afraid I might look too sexy, LOL!

I think over the years I have worn clothes that hide my shape, thinking it would hide any flaws or bulgy places. But now I am thinking maybe I've been too conservative and even frumpy in how I dress. I remember many years ago, when I was single, having someone tell me that I wear clothes that hide my body, and that maybe I should show off my curves more!

I don't think we should be ashamed of our bodies. But I think we should be realistic. I am just in the process of taking a more realistic look at myself, like my legs in shorts. I want to look my best and feel good. I want to wear things that bring out my good points, and minimize my flaws. If I have $30 to spend, and I could buy shorts or pants, and both things fit my style and who I am, then maybe I should buy the pants? And if I can buy something that makes me look taller and skinnier, versus shorter and fatter, then why not?

I guess I am becoming reaquainted with my body, which is changing. It's kind-of depressing and exciting at the same time!

You go girl!!!

I live in the desert too and it is HOT here. I do not even put pants on in the summer. I like to stick with shots that go at least to my fingertips or longer. Those women on the makeover shows are not from the desert, they always seem to be in big cities. Maybe dress is more formal in a large city but in a smaller town where everyone is in shorts I fit in just fine.

If you do not like your white legs, tanning lotions works really well. You can also pour just a tiny amount of boiling water into a cup with a black tea bag in it and use the tea bag to go over your legs to darken them up. It only lasts until your next shower but does not look too bad. I know it sounds weird but it works. You can also mix the strong tea with lotion and apply it when you apply lotion to your legs.

Kathy

Greenie,

I'm wondering if a point of reference might be, "If you saw someone out there in a store or something who looked exactly like you do in shorts, what would be your reaction? Would you think that they looked okay in shorts, or would you feel like they must not know how they look, or they don't care, and that they shouldn't be wearing them?"

I know there are many people who wear what is comfortable, and they know they don't look good, but they don't care, because for them it's apparently more important to be cool and comfortable. Then there are people who look good (I really envy them, having had a weight problem all of my life).

I've always been so overly sensitive to even the slightest glance from someone, even if that glance is not negative, that I just do not "do" shorts and I don't own a swimsuit nor do I ever plan to get one. I used to take my little daughter swimming and I'd sit on the sidelines watching as she had a good time. I wore full length jeans and was absolutely baking in them. All of the other mothers were wearing shorts or swimsuits, even if they didn't go in the water. I sat there and just dared anyone to ask me why I was wearing jeans. It's because when I was 13 or 14, I was, shall we say, "sturdy" or actually, I really was kind of fat. Teens can be the cruelest people on the planet. I was having a good time swimming, but you can imagine the comments from some boys who were around my age. I think I must have had a panic attack, right then. I never wore a swimsuit again, but I don't miss it. I'd rather be safe and know that no one will say anything because I'm all covered up. So for me, the negative reactions of people are more serious to me than being cool and comfortable.

Another thought for consideration: If you feel hesitant about the shorts, what would you do if, say, you and your hubby were the only people on the planet? Would you wear them then?

I would go swimming if I was alone in the pool. I wish I could say I would go swimming in front of my hubby, but I'm still afraid of a negative reaction from him, like, "Wow, you look worse than I thought!" or something. He's overweight, too, so I don't know why, but I have some ingrained fear of criticism about how I look and I can't get rid of it.

I think no matter where you go, no matter what your age, someone there will always look better than you and someone will look worse.

I don't intend to be too hot this summer. I might even consider wearing a sleeveless top, which I haven't done for years. I think my arms are too fat.

I'm hotter this year than I've ever been and I don't mean that in the good looking term.

For those of us who don't want to look fat in shorts, I say go longer than shorter, and stay away from pleated fronts (like Dockers), and slant-front pockets. The pleats make you look like you have more in the tummy than you really do, and the slanted pockets always pull, making you look wider.

I have nice legs, I'm 48, and I wear shorts all the time. With my hot flashes, I would die in anything longer. I agree with the earlier post that the What Not to Wear folks (Clinton and Stacy, NYC, here in the states) are pretty formal because of where they live. I live in a small southwestern US town and we wear shorts and flip flops to dinner. I even have dress flip flops.

Riv

i homed in on this one! i just can't wear shorts any more! not even at home... 2 summers ago i went crazy and bought a pair of shorts, dressy shorts if i can say that as it seems quite a contradiction in terms..... but i still haven't worn them even once, and now they are too big for me... lol... i just don't feel right in them. i won't even wear the workout style short leggings i have.. even tho i was really hot at the gym in summer. my legs are not too bad, a few broken veins here and there, and slimmer more shapely legs than i used to have, but i still can't do it... partly because i am so white i guess, i don't tan and don't want to try cultivating skin cancer.. plus i look at some older women in shorts and think they are quite courageous!

The only people who even give a second thought to how you look are the mean spirited people who you should not care about anyway. Your life is too precious to let this fear impact your behavior. If you are worried about what your husband is going to say, either go with a girlfriend or tell him in advance that there will be HXXX to pay if he says something negative.

If you go to the pool and look around you will see many people with all different shapes and sizes. Except for some young teenyboppers there will probably not be a perfect shape anywhere. None of use will ever be perfect anymore; we know that and we do not care if others around us are not perfect either. You do not have to have a perfect shape to join the fun.

The panic attack that you had as a child came from a child’s fear. It was based on caring about what a group of little boys might say. Since you are an adult now you should not let those little boys control your life anymore. Each one of them would probably apologize now for making you feel bad. They all probably have weight problems now! Just imagine them as heavy men standing next to you telling you that they are sorry and that they think you are beautiful! Try closing your eyes and picturing the scene; do it enough times so that you start to believe it and begin to free yourself from your phobia.

I know that I may not be able to help you with your phobia but you should really treat yourself and go swimming! Of all people, you really deserve to go.


Kathy

I love shorts and I'm never giving them up! I wear them about 4-inches above the knee, which is the most flattering length for for my body type (short torso, long legs). Finding a good pair of shorts can be a challenge. There are far too many hip-hugging styles on the racks this year. I love my Lee brand shorts. As for the varicose veins (or very gross veins - as my husband calls them ) If people find them unattractive, they should look the other way. My comfort comes first!

Hiya Greenie - good topic.

No I cannot wear shorts either. I am too short & stumpy & look awful in them. I don't think it is an age thing. I would wear longer shorts if I was slimmer and then certainly until my late 60s. There are not many 70 year olds that wear shorts here, but then they are a different generation, preferring skirts and elasticated ribbed nylon trousers. Today's younger people might well wear shorts when they get to that age. I do wear cropped trousers & I know what Trinny & Susannah say (in this instance they are, for once, right) but I'm afraid there is a point where comfort comes first!

I'm afraid that I generally don't think much of a lot of what T&S say. I read some articles here in the UK about their career histories - most of it is not in fashion/ styling anyway. They have no more reason to be right about what suits someone than anyone else. I see them as a couple of bossy big sisters that I would avoid like the plague! They do come out with some very strange outfits both for themselves and other people at times.

BTW I know from reading mags/ other shows in the past that culottes are supposed to look good on short people as are those palazzo pants that were in 10 years ago. But these are hassle to find. Crops for me!

Oh and yes as far as what others want to wear - I do believe it is up to them. Who cares really? I might raise an eyebrow at some bizarre outfit meant to cause attention, but otherwise i can't say I particularly notice what everyday people wear. Having said that, there is a granny turns up at the school to collect a child dressed in 6 inch stiletto heels, mini skirt and animal print, and plasterd in thick makeup who I cannot help but notice. It is mostly the heels because she looks so insecure in them that I hold my breath

Good topic. It's about time we all really came clean with our fear of shorts....when I was younger I lived in them in the summer time. Now that I'm 45, have 20 lbs of peri weight to deal with, it becomes a big deal whenever I have to put a pair on. My legs still look good and thank God I don't have veins YET, but I still feel unattractive and stupid in shorts. I think if you're legs are very tanned it helps a lot but who wants to risk skin cancer, and I have yet to find a self tanner that doesn't get weird around my ankles (self tanners don't go with wrinkles or parts of you that move...like ankles and knees...)..I like the brand Fresh Produce...they make a skort (short/skirt) type thing with a a drawstring waist and pockets that is very comfortable and sort of flattering. They're expensive....I think $40 a pair...so I only own two, but if it's so hot out that I have to wear shorts, these are the ones I go to. My mother is nearly 70 and lives in Florida...she wears shorts every day (above the knee.) but then again she also teaches Tai Chi and has beautifully shaped legs. She looks about 55, and I think the shorts are fine for her. Once she was completely and finally DONE with menopause, she told me the peri weight melted off her pretty quickly (same 20 lbs I'm dealing with...) and she felt better than she had in years. So I say, the jury is still out on the shorts-issue...tune in later!

Kathy, thank you and you are absolutely right. In fact, when I was in high school, there were some very beautiful but mean-spirited girls who were thin and gorgeous and nasty to the girls like me who admired them from afar but didn't look anything like they did. You know what? Now I picture those same beautiful girls going through meno! And they are! I picture them as overweight and no longer looking as they did back then, no more than I look as I did, either. It really helps!

I know my husband would love me no matter how I look. We've been together for 25 years, so any trepidation on my part about his leaving me because I don't look perfect is long gone. Plus, he's graying and overweight at age 61 himself. In fact, when he and I were dating, I learned that he would stay with me regardless of my flaws. It was such a relief.

I will try and picture those boys as middle-aged now. It's great--gives me a good laugh! Thanks for your advice.

Sorry--back to the original topic.

This is a topic that I am interested in too. The only time I wear shorts is when I go for my walk at 5:30 in the morning, or when I cut grass. I have gained 15 pounds of peri weight in just the last year!!!... and I think I look horrible in shorts. I am sooo disgusted. I have those "very gross veins", cellulite, and baggy knees that has started to developed. Ugh! It's just not pretty! Capri's look horrible on me so I wear jeans or light cotton pants most of the time. I will have to Google Fresh Produce. I have not heard of that brand before, but those short/skirt sounds like something that I might try. I sure hope you are right about that peri weight melting off after menopause.

I could never be without my shorts.......I live in New England and it gets hot and sticky here in the summer. I don't wear short shorts anymore but still wear the ones that come to above the knee. I even wear bermuda length to my office (it is very casual)...........I workout and take care of myself and my legs still look pretty good. I also wear jeans skirts that come right to the knee.......and I am 55!! ..........I say Go Ahead and wear your shorts............life is too short to worry about what other people think..........Pudge

I need to go and buy new shorts. I keep putting it off quite honestly. At the moment I have a pair that I have had since the last millenium and three pairs of super cheap elasticated waist shorts that I bought for around the house, in the garden and camping in the summer or on the beach.

On holiday and around the house I wear shortish shorts but when my legs are out in public I feel better with something a little above the knee.

One thing I do now that I didn't before is exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. About twice a week and then moisturise , moisturise, moisturise. At least my legs feel really nice and I think they look a lil better.

I am petite 4'11' and have short leggs. I am 44 and a grandma. But let me tell ya I would not give up my shorts.

If you buy them have folded pockets on the back they give the illussion of being taller.I wear them mid thigh, it is enough to cover the cellulite.hehe. but not to long that my leggs cant breathe .

If your your legs are to white for comfort, use a self tanner in light to medium to give that sun kissed glow.Neutrogena is a good one.

Be comfortable..It really gets hot where I live ,,,So shorts are a life saver.

I say get the shorts and happy shopping!

Hugs,
Pamela

I just got back from a vacation at Myrtle Beach about 1 hour ago. I wore shorts every day while I was there. I figure if I could expose myself on the beach everyday in just a bathing suit, why not shorts for later on. It's really hot there and even capris are uncomfortable.

Just about everyone there was wearing shorts whether they were 29 or 79 so I guess I found a comfort zone. When I'm home, I don't usually go out anywhere in shorts. I save them for around the house. But at the beach----I doubt that anyone even notices.

interesting to stumble onto this topic. i hadn't consciously given this alot of thought, but apparently have been automatically making adjustments because yesterday while at the farmers' market with friends, one of them said, "hey, you don't wear shorts much anymore, do you?" i'm not sure i really know the reason; it's not like i've paid much attention to fashion parameters in my life. i live in an area where everyone does their own thing. some other chronic health issues have made me skinnier & less healthier looking, so i'm wondering if i was just not even thinking & reacting to that or to aging process.

so while i thought i was done thinking about this type of stuff..... lord knows what else i'm adjusting without thinking.

ellen

I come from the land down under and it is very very hot in the summer so these days I dress for comfort I like a nice pair of short shorts with an elastic waste, a nice baggy t-shirt ( so the air can circulate) and a pair of thongs, and I don't care what anyone thinks of my appearance, my legs are still pretty good so Ive been told by the opposite sex, so who cares I'll wear what I want to wear.

This is why I've never felt part of the "normal" group. My calves have ALWAYS looked like I had polio and therefore, would NEVER wear shorts.
Lucky all of those who have full calves and ankles.
I envy you.
WEAR the shorts and be happy!

Dear SugarGrove,
It's such a relief to hear that someone else is still, years later, influenced by teenage mockery. I had scoliosis and was pretty horribly harassed by both girls and boys. Even though I know rationally that I look fine, if too many people look at me on the street I automatically wonder what's wrong. I never consider that I might be looking good. I would say, reveal or cover in whatever way feels safe to you. People who say you should feel all proud and secure can't have dealt with a serious amount of mockery.

The Fashion Capitol:
I'm also on the side of the shorts wearers, even though my legs have turned yellow in the past year along with the rest of my hide. I do a lot of gardening and can't imagine wearing long pants in the humid New York summer. And FYI, we do wear shorts in New York--certainly not to work, but in all the residential neighborhoods [except the upper East Side] women of all ages wear shorts of one kind or another. Most of us have way too much to do to bother with "What Not to Wear." TV does not rule here; 100-degree subway platforms do.

The Shorts Themselves:
I think the biggest problem with store-bought shorts is the stiff fabric and wide-cut legs. Luckily I sew, so when I decided to go with a longer cut and thicker fabric for store-bought gym shorts, I took in the outer side of each leg so they don't stick out sideways. For gardening I start with a cotton fabric that has drape to it, and then use a moderately narrow cut. The stiff, tent-legged shorts that are usually available really are pretty unfortunate. Someone here pointed out that pleated shorts should be avoided, and I agree. If the shorts can stand up on their own, there's a problem--but with the shorts, not the legs.

I think shorts are fine provided they suit a woman's own individual body shape. There are definitely people who should not wear shorts, but most women look decent in shorts that work for their body type. Personally, I don't like wearing shorts unless I have gotten a bit of a tan on my legs; I just think bare legs look better tanned. That is just me personally, though.

Cindy

I always love seeing incredibly happy confident people at the pool who are heavier than I and having a great time. Very inspiring. Yet, I'm the one poolside hiding out in the jeans these days, hot, and not being confident or happy with my look .) But, I've gotta say, I love my shorts-short!!! Because I'm shorter and heavier, I stick to a shorter short. Longer bermuda's make me look wider and shorter and, for me, I find them very hot!! (As in temperature that rises = flash). These days, being cool and comfortable is paramount. I have "athletic" legs. Big thighs, big calves. But not too flabby! At least nothing that a few miles on the treadmill shouldn't cure and shape them up for Spring! I'm going to work very hard over the coming months to loose this lousey 25 lbs. Then, maybe! It will be swimming poolside in a new suit this Summer! (And lots of new shorts!!!).

I must say, this is not the time of year I even think about shorts..as a rule..as I live way up north in Canada and it is freezing cold! We tend to bundle up even in the house!! Even my dogs need sweaters to go outside for more than their two minute call of nature! However, it was kind of fun to read this thread and be reminded of the hot days of summer...and we do have hot summers, it is the land of extremes.

I think a person should wear shorts if they are in a hot climate, and honestly when I see women not in shorts when it is 100F outside, I think they are crazy!! I will wear dress shorts to work when it is hot. I don't wear short shorts anymore, I am far too old for that...but shorts that are just above the knee are great for going out in public. At home I will wear shorts at midthigh, but I don't feel they are appropriate for work or even shopping.

I am taller at 5'6 so I can easily get away with knee length shorts, and when working I will dress them up with heels. I do like to look nice, but I am not obsessive about it. The only negative comment I have about shorts...I have a SIL who is 5'1 and a little heavy, and she often wears shorts where the inner leg of the shorts rides up, and that truly looks terrible! She should wear longer shorts, even though she is short. The riding up inner leg makes her appear much fatter than longer shorts that hang properly....and have I had the guts to tell her this??? NO!! She is kind of scary, so I just keep my mouth shut and think, wow that doesn't look good!

Eeek! That reminds me of seeing folk in skorts (culottes (sp?) Looks like skirt from the front... (ok!) shorts in the back... But sometimes view from the back eeeek! Not so good.

Capris work well for me no matter how thin or fat I happen to be at the time, they come in different lengths and cute styles too.