Wow guys, the depression that has hit me this week is mind-numbing....I have now gone two months without the typical bloated breasts, fingers, toes, off the handle anxiety and irritability but in exchange it's depression to the max........today is a beautiful sunny Saturday and the 1st of many that I have been home due to son's sportng events and it's taking me all I have to put one foot in front of the other and do some much!!!!!!! needed cleaning of bathrooms and such and it's soooo hard.....

I think a lot has to do with my acknowledgement of being raised by a narcissitic mother and thinking I did so well getting clear of her arrows only to read that 1) I no doubt have her tendencies myself and 2) it is the only mental disorder that there is no cure: born a narcissist die a narcissist...now I'm replaying all my sessons with therapists and no doubt they chaulked me up as "SCREWED" in their little yellow pads all the while I rambled about how great a job I had done getting away from my mother's nastiness.....


Yes the ADs are calling my name but for sure it's only going to be a band-aid for me......

Momz

Hey Momz, first up therapists are human beings who studied a course and got some letters after their name. They're not Gods. Who cares what the think? Who cares what labels they stick on a person? It's how you live your life is what counts, what makes you what you are. They sure ain't running those therapy sessions back through their heads and losing sleep over it. They probably don't give you a second thought, so just forget about what they might have thought. It is irrelevant to your life and to who you really are. You are not responsible for your mother's behaviour and how it affected you as you are not responsible for your PMS nor your depression. It is your biology that is responsible, same as with all of us. If we had a choice would we choose to feel the way we do sometimes? Would we hell!

I've had PMS since I started menstruating, and I've been told 'it's all in the mind'. Yeah right! I'd like some of them to have lived in my skin those two weeks every month year after year. But at least those terrible symptoms each month were predictable; I knew when they were coming and learned to live my life in spite of them. Like you ... in the clutches of peri, I don't know what's going on half the time, symptoms change by the minute and the depression is crippling sometimes. It's the same for millions of women, and it's not our fault. We are not to blame for this. It's not a conscious thing we do to ourselves.

I get days when I can't even get out of my pyjamas or brush my teeth, let alone clean bathrooms. Go easy on yourself Momz. Like you, I choose not to take ADs at the minute (although I have done in the past). I suppose my biggest fear is that as bad as it is sometimes, it is just about bearable; I'm getting through in fits and starts, but I'm getting through it just about. Trouble is, like everyone else here I don't know where I am in the process. I have had a fair few of the 34 symptoms, and my periods this past year have become erratic, but I'm still getting them. Meno could be a couple of months away or five years away, I just don't know, and what scares me is that things might get worse and then I will have no choice to go down the AD route or whatever, but at the moment, I'm hanging in there by the skin of my teeth and taking it day by day.

I feel for you right now. Yesterday, the sun was shining here, and I spent the afternoon in bed. Even when I woke I felt like crap all evening, couldn't even get a meal for my kids, and had to get takeaway and just lay on the sofa. Then I'm awake half the night, and today I feel even worse than I did yesterday. My hair needs washing, I need to take a bath, the house needs cleaning and I have work to do. All I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and sob.

Hang in there Momz. We will get through this!

Jenilou
x

I have also experienced this depression and it is awful!! You have to make yourself get up, take a shower and tend to things around the house (you can't do everything in a day). Exercise a little, that helps for a minute. Once that is complete I do feel better (at least somewhat). I keep telling myself can this be peri or something more serious?? I am just not myself anymore. I had testing for this and that and all comes back fine so it has to be peri. I just wish I could get it in my head that it is OK, I will be fine once I get thru this stage in my life. I just feel that my husband and daughter have to suffer thru this and that hurts me. I don't want to be a B**** anymore!! I try to keep to myself so I don't have to be mean to anyone but that is very hard. The smallest thing can set me off. I need to relax a bit and maybe try to stop and smell the roses rather than rushing thru life all the time. I need to concentrate on the goods things my life has to offer rather than the negative!! Easier said than done. Good luck girls!!