I started perimenopause about two years ago. I just turned 42 and I was suddenly so depressed, an overwhelming feeling of sadness, a feeling of no joy in my life. I started taking Wellbutrin and it has helped. I'm fine when dealing with my kids or when I'm working but I'm so distant to my husband. I can't stand for him to touch me, my skin crawls. What is wrong with me??? I feel so bad and I'll try to let him touch me but then I push him away, I just don't get it and neither does he, he thinks other things are going on (affair?). I tried a search on this forum but nothing came up. Am I alone ? Am I the only one who cringes from touch?

Yes! I DEFINITELY have this experience. I call it the 'touch-me-nots'. It happens every couple of weeks; usually right before my period, whether I get one or not. I can't stand to be touched my anyone. You aren't alone!

thank you so much, what do you tell your husband?

I can't explain to him why I hate being touched!

I think some of us find that peri tends to amplify stuff.

Before, my husband would come up behind me in the kitchen for a cuddle. Its one thing when I was doing dishes, quite another if I was standing over pots of boiling water. The former was sometimes nice, sometimes annoying; the later was somewhere inbetween dangerous and annoying all the time. Now, on bad days, it's borderline infuriating.

I try - and I underscore try - to remind myself its not him, its me, and just 'cope' with it. If I can't, I beg off siting anything and everything from hormones to headaches, and ask him to bear with me. Sex is trickier: No one likes rejection. The wellbutrin helps me there, but the dryness is an issue, and I'm exhausted from insomnia. I thought I was explaining myself fairly well until a couple of days ago when DH remarked - a couple of times - how he 'knew' my dog was more important and more beloved than he.

That stung, and I'm resolved to fixing it before it really becomes an issue. I may have absolute pooh days, but I know I'm happier with him than I ever would be parted.

Makeup artist,
im going thru the same thing. and mine isnt just every couple of weeks. i wish it was. but it all the time he can hug me , but only for a couple of seconds before i push him away. and forget kissing! and in bed i get instantly pissed if he puts his hands on me at all. i cant explain it and its been like this for months but luckily hes patient and understanding and i think he's going thru his on menopause. so you're not alone. oh and ive had my testosterone lvls checked more than a couple of times and its always fine.

When I realized what was happening to me I sat down with my husband and explained that sometimes my sex drive is nonexistent,and that things will probably be different for a while,he understood.I feel honesty helps,it clears the air and helps both of you understand each others feelings.I too have felt like an "untouchable,"especially my breasts which I used to love having touched.Are you taking any hormones?Sometimes the wrong dose can zap your drive as well.Hope you feel more like yourself soon,GOD bless.

Thanks for your reply and I just wanted to let you know that I feel untouchable ALL the time as well, thank god I'm not alone!

Thank you so much for your reply.

I am not taking any hormones, just the wellbutrin to cope with some of the sadness

I suffer from the hotflashes and night sweats and I have to sleep with a fan blowing on me everynight lol..

poor husbands