I must be getting old, because I sound the way older people used to sound when I was young. Here is what's bugging me:

I work in a general office and we do see members of the general public every day. The girls in my office are in their twenties, and on their feet they wear rubber thongs like we used to wear to the beach. Or they wear flip-flops or other beach shoes. They never wear stockings anymore. They wear camisole tops or tight fitting tank tops with spaghetti straps, and you can see their backs and bare arms.

It just seems like a lack of professionalism for an office. I remember the day when a woman I worked with was sent home because she wasn't wearing stockings. I know this is probably extreme, but now no one wears stockings anymore. I guess they are uncomfortable, but somehow I think they finish an outfit and I certainly would not feel dressed without them. I also was told at a job back in the day that open-toed sandals were not acceptable, nor were sleeveless blouses.

It's probably better now, since this was a little extreme, but things have gotten so "loose" that it t seems to have gone too much the other way. It doesn't seem professional anymore. I think that someone in a nice suit with stockings and dress shoes will always look better than someone flapping around in flat sandals and a tank top.

Am I just an old lady?

You've hit on one of my pet peeves. I think offices went waaaay overboard on casual Friday (and the rest of the week) and many are now regretting it. Flip-flops are for the beach or college students, not people working in an office. I can understand a nice pair of sandals and *perhaps* bare legs at the height of summer - but don't people get cold in the air conditioning? I'm also fine with good pants and a nice top (which is what I usually wear to work). My husband wears a suit everyday - his company is one of the few that never had casual anything, and we're both delighted by this. It makes his office a much more professional place to work (plus he looks great in a suit ).

A little further afield, I'm not interested in seeing bare midriffs on women or men's hairy legs when I'm in a restaurant or at the theater or a concert. Where's your sense of decorum? Cover yourselves, people!

We had casual Fridays until it went too far and now no more. I totally agree, an office environment dictates professionalism. I work in a mental health unit and when it is hard to distinguish the employees from the patients, than there is something wrong. I totally agree, stockings should be worn. Most women's legs do not look good bare and in closed toed shoes unless you are very, very young with no blemishes or spider veins. Stockings "cover up" a lot of skin imperfections and round out a nice outfit. That is my personal take on this subject.

Well, that's a relief--I was beginning to think that I'm just an old lady. My husband and I attended a show Saturday evening and next to my husband in the audience a man was wearing shorts and sneakers with no socks (Don Johnson wannabe?) I wouldn't expect him to wear a suit and tie, but not shorts. Maybe he was protesting because he didn't want to be there and his wife made him come. But I just don't know what has happened to the dress code nowadays. It's getting scary! New employees at my office come to work dressed well and quickly change to sloppy, their shirts hanging out.

Plus, I need your input on this: Nowadays you HAVE to paint your toenails if you wear sandals. I don't like the feeling of my bare feet in sandals. I buy sandalfoot knee highs and they feel comfortable and provide a little finish to my toes. But one of my friends said I was committing a horrendous fashion mistake not to paint my toenails. She said nobody but old ladies wear knee highs. I argued that if they are sandalfoot and you can't really see them, what's the big deal? It's not like reinforced toes which, of course, don't look good in open-toed shoes. What do you all think? Do we HAVE to paint our toenails?

I paint my toenails because I feel toes look the same (on a man or woman) and I want my feet to stand out as belonging to a feminine person. With sandals, I don't wear stockings. At work, if I do wear open toed shoes (1/2" heels). I do wear knee highs with slacks or thigh highs with skirt/dresses. If I wear slacks, I don't wear sandals. Sandals to me belongs with jeans, 3/4 or shorts. With slacks, "low" heels. And...I don't wear dark polish on my toenails. I cannot, absolutely cannot stand chipped nails, either on my toes or my fingers. It looks so unkempt! But then I am OCD to the max!

If I wear sandals with pants then I don't wear stockings. However, I have a hard time when I wear sandals with skirts or a sundress. My legs are too white and don't look good bare. My daughters think I am such a wierdo when I put on pantihose and sandals, but I can't help it. They think I'm a wierdo anyway so this gives them one more thing to laugh at.

As far as appropriate office/work attire. I agree that things have gone overboard. We've come to accept "casual"? and the more and more we accept, the more and more leeway we are giving. Some of the young women and men too look downright sloppy and I think someone needs to step in and set some ground rules.

I agree that we've gone too far with the casual office attire. I think it's great that people can be comfortable at work, but when people look as if they should be at the beach or working in their gardens the casual look has gone too far. I have seen some offices where the young women look as if they are dressed for a night at the singles bar.

As far as painting toenails, I think you should do what is right for you, and the same goes for whether you wear hose or not. My personal preference is to paint my nails, but where I work, open toed shoes are a no no so I don't wear them unless I'm on my own time.

Hi Sugar!

Does your office have a written policy on dress code? They do at my hubby's office, and I would think most offices have some kind of policy on what can and can't be worn to work. At my last job, things were pretty loosey goosey because of the field I was in, and these skinny 20-somethings would wear tank tops and mini skirts and sandals. I guess the only problem with that was it made me feel frumpy, LOL!

I have never painted my toenails in my entire life, and I never will. I figure, they are toes for goodness sake, and who is really going to look at them? I wear open-toed sandals with shorts or pants, and my feet are what they are. When I was working, I would sometimes wear the knee-high nylons with pants or a long skirt. My legs are white, but I guess I don't really care anymore what other people think. I do try to get a little sun on my legs by sitting outside for maybe 15 or 20 minutes at a time, just to take the edge off the blinding whiteness, LOL!

I say do what you want and do what you like. I'm sure people of different ages think differently about what is in style or what are cardinal fashion sins. But who cares? We are wise women now, and we deserve to make up our own rules now...within reason of course.

I paint my toenails only in the spring and summer. It's a personal preference. I just think it compliments my feet when I wear sandals. I wear sandals most of the summer with dresses, slacks, shorts or skirts. It doesn't matter about the size of the heel. I personally don't see anything wrong with going without hose. As long as you are comfortable with yourself. I do wear hose to church because of scars on my legs from a burn accident so it just looks better, but if I didn't have scars, my legs would be bare as much as possible. As far as office attire, showing cleavage, midriff and short skirts are the highest on my list of no no's. There is a time and place for this kind of dress if you choose to dress like that, but the office is not it.

The way women dress is truly disgraceful! Lingerie should not be seen. I am amazed at what is worn in businesses. If that makes us old ladies, so be it.

That being said, I rarely wear hose, I hate them. I wear longer skirts with sandals in the summer and boots in the winter, so I don't think it's an issue. My feet often hurt and I get plantar fascitis, so I'm not wearing anything other than comfort shoes, regardless of the circumstances. I don't paint my toenails because the ingredients in both the polish and remover are extremely toxic.

Can I chime in here? Has anyone noticed the new trend of girls in their twenties wearing flannel pajama bottoms in public? Here in New England it's all the rage. I see it at the malls, in offices, everywhere. They're not only wearing the pj's, they're wearing fuzzy slippers too! Has everyone lost their minds? Maybe I'm dating myself here but I can still remember taking a trolley car 'downtown' with my grandmother to go shopping and wearing little white gloves!

Whatever happened to personal pride????

Can I chime in too? This thread really hit a nerve. One of my daughter's teachers wears flip flops to school day in day out, summer or winter. She has the most horrible feet. Huge thick wedges of dried flaking skin, long yellow horny toe nails, it ain't a pretty sight. Now it may be the poor woman has some condition that prevents her wearing shoes, but she seems to stride about the school ok, and the truth is she looks like a bag lady - her outfits in general leave a lot to be desired too. Flabby bare arms with great chunks of hard skin on the elbows, acres of cleavage on show, creased unironed dresses. The poor kids never take in a word she says in lessons, they are too busy recoiling in horror at the sight of these monster feet, and the other parts of her ample anatomy that are on display. I don't understand why the other staff haven't said something to her. Most of them are smartly dressed, if a little casual.

At the very least she could buff off the hard skin, cut and paint those toenails that look like rusty axe heads, get herself a decent bra, and iron the dress. But she doesn't make any kind of effort, and she's teaching 11 year olds? What's it telling the kids?

What is it telling the kids??? That she's a lazy, sloppy, slob.

However---is she a good person? Is she a good teacher? How long has she been teaching and has she dedicated herself to educating young minds---our biggest investments.

I,too, have been critical about the way people look and dress. It's human nature I guess. But then I stop and think that I have no right to judge. That as long as an individual does the work he/she is being paid to do--and does it well, it's no one else's concern. We don't always know what's going on in someone else's life and sometimes we criticize (believe me I'm no exception) without having all of the facts. Albeit---the over-excessive cleavage is probably a bit much and inappropriate.

I'm sure this response is not going to be very popular, but I am truly trying, as I get older, to be less critical and more accepting of individual diversity.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Donna

The girls at my son's college wear their PJ's to class. What's up with that? It's like they just roll out of bed and walk across campus to class. Flannell PJ's, bedroom slippers, skimpy tops..................sitting in a lecture!

I used to care so much more about how I dressed and what I wore. Now comfort is key, but I do appreciate appropriate clothing for work, etc.

The young kids wear their pajamas out in public here too. Some of the girls wear boys boxer shorts out and about also. I just don't get none of that at all! Maybe it is my age, I don't know. But I sure do remember the day when people changed clothes just go to the grocery store, if they had been painting, mowing the lawn, or whatever. It also seems when going to church, anything goes. The kids have got shorts and flip flops on and the girls with their skippy tops. I'm all for comfort, but lets leave the PJ's for home and the flip flops for the beach. Oh.....and don't girls wear slips anymore when wearing a see through dress or skirt, or are we suppose to see the undies now?

The young kids wear their pajamas out in public here too. Some of the girls wear boys boxer shorts out and about also. I just don't get none of that at all! Maybe it is my age, I don't know. But I sure do remember the day when people changed clothes just go to the grocery store, if they had been painting, mowing the lawn, or whatever. It also seems when going to church, anything goes. The kids have got shorts and flip flops on and the girls with their skippy tops. I'm all for comfort, but lets leave the PJ's for home and the flip flops for the beach. Oh.....and don't girls wear slips anymore when wearing a see through dress or skirt, or are we suppose to see the undies now?

Sorry...it posted twice. How did that happen. Is there any way to delete it??

Well since I became an offical peri person, I've grown rather partial to my pajamas too! Some days I live in 'em, because I can't be arsed to dress. But it's all behind closed doors, on those bad peri days when nothing seems worth the effort, and I hide away from the world. But wearing them out in public is a whole different ball game! Seems to me, from what you ladies are saying pjs is where it's at, and I could well be a fashion icon without even knowing.

Seriously though, I'm one of the old school who won't put out the bins unless I'm in full make up. I would never put my feet on show if I hadn't made some attempt to smarten 'em up. I would never go bare legged unless they were shaved and moisturised and maybe a bit of tan makeup. But hey, that's just me.

Dcamp I see where you're coming from on this, and you are right we don't have the right to criticise ... but then again, do we? Everyone is entitled to be an individual and dress they way they want. However, in the UK all school kids have to wear uniform and the rules are strictly enforced. It has to be the right kind of shirt, they have to wear ties, skirts have to be a certain length. In my son's school trainers are forbidden and they have to wear black leather shoes. Last week he forgot his shoes (he cycles to school so wears trainers on the bike) and spent the day hobbling around in a friend's spare pair of size 7s (he's a size 9) because if he hadn't gotten a pair of shoes to wear he would have been sent home.

So with such a strict uniform code in place, I don't think it's too much to ask that the teachers at least make some effort. This particular teacher makes none and she may be a great teacher, a really nice person ... but the kids are so overwhelmed with how she looks they don't even get that far. So by walking around looking the way she does, she isn't doing herself any favours, and the distraction her appearance causes means that the kids are so preoccupied with that, they hardly hear a word she says in class. So yes, she could potentially be the greatest teacher, but by looking the way she looks she's selling both herself, and the kids she teaches, short.

i think i'm just glad i don't work any more.. the whole dress thing drove me crazy when i did..

I'm a little torn about this issue. On the one hand, I do believe there is a minimum standard that varies for the situation: you wouldn't wear a business suit to the beach, a bikini to church or a bridal gown to the office. I can't remember going to a wedding in the last 15 years where at least some of the guests were beyond underdressed. And its not just the kids: dads who don't own a suit and won't buy or rent one? sheesh. guests looking like beachbums or cowboys or candidates for a wet Tshirt contest.. On the other hand, its no body's business, and if it doesn't impede anything, then don't sweat the small stuff.

When I was a kid (16th c) girls were heavily criticized for not wearing bras - or wearing padded ones.. Tight jeans, micro mini skirts. When I started working in an office, women weren't permitted to wear trousies. dresses, shirts and blouses, always stockings. Then pant suits because not allowing them to be worn violated human rights. Next came jeans. Later Madonna made it fashionable?? to wear those pointy bras and no shirt over. Then slips. Now pajamas.

It's their thing, but its my visual space. Stop the bus, I want off before birthday suits become avante garde.

Duch---you're a riot! I would want off of that bus too.

Jen-- I know what you're saying. Sloppiness has never been my thing either. I always try to make an effort when going out in public. That's just me.

But are you sure that the kids aren't learning anything? If that were true--at least here in Ohio where I teach, she would no longer have a job. Unless a teacher is tenured (she may be) we are subject to yearly review. The administration has the option of not renewing contracts based on many issues, one of which is student performance. There are curriculum guides, and by means of testing, we are able to determine whether or not teachers have met standards and achieved prescribed goals. State-wide proficiency assessments enable educators to see if students have satisfactorily reached these goals. If the students under the tutelage of any given teacher are consistently falling behind, then there would be reason to evaluate teacher-performance and perhaps cause for for dismissal at the end of the school year.

Yes, I wish everyone would make an effort to look his/her best. It's just my old school (no pun intended) way of thinking. But education is what is important and again, if an individual is doing his/her job, then perhaps we have to look past what is secondary.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Peace, Donna

I don't know if I should be angry or not. I wrote on this thread a while back that I prefer to wear very sheer knee-highs with pants and open toed sandals. It used to be the dress code years ago. I don't think it looks all that bad, and the hose is very sheer so you can't really tell anyway. Well, today this woman I work with came up to me and, with no previous conversation, asked me why I "wear hose" with sandals. I replied that it just felt more comfortable. She told me that she mentioned it because she thought maybe I didn't know any better and thought hose was required. I know that it's not, but it is a matter of preference, I would think. She asked me what shade of polish I liked. I said, "Coral shades, I guess." So she came back from lunch with this small bottle of polish that's a really loud, unpleasant ORANGE color, and gave it to me, saying she'd like to "see the results." I would not have chosen this shade, and I feel kind of insulted that she seems to think this is all so important and I'm a moron who has no fashion sense. Good grief! I feel like the silent joke of the whole office. They all must think I need help. So do I go out this weekend and get a dang bottle of polish in a shade that I can stand, and paint my darn toenails to shut them all up, or what??

I have always liked the way the ladies dressed in the 40's. I just adore wearing hats and I still do but it is hard to find nice hats to wear. I too dress neatly and nice whenever I go out. I try to look my best. I work at home but I always dress and act like I am actually going out to an office. It makes me feel like I am working. I don't think I would get much done wearing my jammies.

Hey Csugargrove, that was horrid what that lady did. What right did she have? NONE You know, it would be funny to go and paint your toenails some horrid color or paint every toenail a different color and see what she says. I wonder if she would get you were being sarcastic or not.

Mopsy

I agree! And her reaction is a result I'd like to see! LOL!

I never knew it was such a big deal. I must horrify people when I go to Walmart - no nail polish, and probably twenty years out of style.

Nail polish and remove is extremely toxic, and although I love the look, I choose not to use it. But, I can't imagine someone handing me a bottle of polish. I would not have taken it. As for her remark,
"I'd like to see the results," you really should have told her to ... well, at least have told her "you first, sweetie!"

Mopsy, Teasdale, Bella, thanks for your responses. I can't seem to get this situation out of my head. Over the weekend I went and bought a nice, light shade of coral--very subtle and transparent, and I did my toenails. They look okay, but this morning I wore slingbacks with a closed toe. I feel compromised; partly angry and insulted, and also partly wondering if I'm out of date and needed a wake-up call like this.

I thought about getting some really loud clown socks, like lime green and orange stripes, and wearing those with my sandals, grinning and asking the women how I look. Or maybe some heavy support hose with reinforced toes--or how about black hose and white sandals?

I knew a woman once who had been in a car accident and it screwed up her legs and her circulation. She really did have to wear heavy support hose, for the rest of her life. So I do think it is rude of those women to comment about me--what's it to them? Get a real problem, for crying out loud! I wish all I had to worry about was whether someone was wearing stockings or not!!

CSugar,

RANT AHEAD!

And what is 'up to date'? It's nothing more than what the advertising/clothing/cosmetic industries are telling us we must look like. A way to get us to feel discontented with ourselves and spend money so we can 'fit in' and make them all rich. Bah! So we update everything ... what is the prize and who will be giving it ... and do we really want it????

I really do get tired of the push to have women all look a certain way. Comfort and healthy lifestyle is more important to me than having the most 'up to date' look.

This really is a pet peeve of mine, mainly because I hear so many women complaining that they have trouble finding decent clothing, makeup, shoes, etc.

Hi CSugargrove:

Oh my goodness, you gave me the best laugh I have had in a long time. YES, clown socks would be great. I would do it. Heck, since they are talking about you, you might as well give themselves something to talk about.

These women sound bored and tiresome. They are wasting energy that they could use in fixing a real problem or doing something good in life.

I agree Bellascarlet about what is IN is to make the clothing, hair, jewelry etc. rich. I mean, fashions change so dang much. It has always been this way though.

I think my icon is to big so I best take some time and make it smaller.

Mopsy

{{Hugs}} CSugar - That lady is just trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. I would carry on as you were and wear the hose just to show her you will not be intimidated. I don't think it is terrible at all not to wear nail polish. I have had similar things said to me in the past by so called "friends" about clothing, makeup and even the paint colour on my walls. I would stick to your guns & if she says anything more look her in the eye and say "I'm afraid it's a matter of personal taste - we can't all like the same things, can we - life would be really boring!"

Right on, Bella! Comfort and healthy lifestyle--I second that motion! I should be glad I'm not in a wheelchair or challenged in a similar way, thank goodness.

Mopsy, the woman ARE bored and tiresome. Small-minded, no less; so how could I care what they think? They are the type of people who'd find something else wrong.

I should get those big rubber slippers with huge toes, that look like giant bare feet. My brother had some years ago. I'd wear those and just walk by them and see their expressions. Or maybe stretch my stockings OVER the rubber feet, bursting out the toes. Ha! So there.

Squiggle, I'm going to do just as you advise. I'm sure they won't have the courage to stare me down. And how could someone say anything to you about the color of your walls?? Good grief! It's YOUR home!!

I'm with you 100% on this one! I'm sure most of you know the old saying....."You can’t really understand another persons experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes."

Jenilou! I just read your post from May 12! Too funny! You are talented with words; you should use this talent if you are not using it already. Don't ask me how, though....

I knew a woman years ago that I worked with, who would come to work in a house dress. No slippers, fortunately, but a house dress.

Another woman I remember went to my daughter's wedding wearing jogging pants and a sweatshirt.

Sometimes it almost seems as if they want attention. If their mode of dress is so far from appropriate for an occasion, they must know that people will look at them, maybe in disgust, but still look at them. I shudder to think about this. I'd much rather blend in and would really HATE being the center of negative attention.

RoundRobin, I remember the little white gloves, and I thought they looked nice! Another thing I loved was seeing all of the Easter bonnets on Easter Sunday. Well, that's no more, I'm sure. And men do not remove their hats in public anymore. I see men wearing ten gallon cowboy hats and everything else. It was nice when they had enough respect to remove their hat. But maybe I'm just an old lady.

In case anyone comes back to this, I think the unasked for fashion advice was appalling behavior. I've been wondering about the hose question myself, but if anyone ever presumed to approach me with "tips," I would neatly slice them to ribbons on some fashion error of their own, barring some serious employment totem-pole issue. Or maybe, "How kind of you to notice my stockings; you must have a really dull assignment right now." Yikes.

Thanks for bumping this to the top, Lanky. I'm angry about that woman with the nail polish, and it was months ago and not even me!

What a fun thread! When talking about pj's out in public... with fuzzy slippers... I'm always reminded of - does anyone remember "curlers in your hair, shame on you!" The thought of being out in public with pj's and fuzzies is just as bad as being seen with big old pink curlers in your hair!! My things have changed! I'm certain there are kids out there who really didn't comb their hair this morning. What a sad commentary...

About the workplace! It can be the cattiest place in the world!!! Yes, worse than highschool. The nailpolish thing is making me mad too! Luckily in my office we're all about the same age, or at least parallel decades... So we all have the same opinions about the way we dress. It's still competitive though and there are backbiters who are always making fun of somebody's something. I remember once even at one workplace, we all wore the same uniforms (we all dressed alike right?), well a particular someone always had something mean to say about the shoes a coworker wore!!!

I like the look of the 40's too. I love hats and gloves and those pretty, pretty suits and dresses.

Okay, my final comment: If someone doesn't mentor the young-bees with the idea of professionalism... What to wear to an office, Where will they get their basis?? An example: The movie The Devil Wears Prada; a little extreme... But the idea of dressing the part was well delivered.

Chatty-