Well, I had my consult with the orthomolecular practicioner who tested my hormones. According to my results, both my estrogen and progesterone are normal. So, I guess that means that I am just in a big old depression that I can't seem to get out of :-( I am on Paxil right now, after having tried Lexapro for 12 weeks but it sent my anxiety through the roof. My doctor has put me off work for a couple of months because I have been feeling so tired (exhausted) and stressed and just plain down. I feel like I am dead inside. I'm lost - so very lost :-( I was always such a high energy, enthusiastic person and now I am a lump, a shell, a nothing. I had just gotten back to work after a 2 year absence due to a series of physical illnesses one right after another and now this. I feel like giving up. I don't want to spend the next 10 years just going through the motions and not even doing that very well.

I just don't know how else to explain how I have been feeling other than hormonal. Ever since my periods starting becoming irregular, my whole demeaner and outlook has changed. I keep telling my self to snap out of it and smarten up, but I just can't seem to. Apparently my periods are irregular because my iron is low. I have night sweats because my iron is low. My iron has been low before and I didn't feel like this. Well, no more second opinions for me. I will just have to learn to adjust to being half the person I used to be.

Sorry for whining. I am feeling very sorry for myself right now :-(

When your doctor said your homones were normal, did he say if they were normal for a pre, peri or postmenopausal woman? And are they in the low, mid or high end of normal?

With depression, flushing, sweats... these are classic signs of meno. Did he offer any ideas, other than Paxil? I've heard Pax is pretty toxic. Some doctors recommend Wellbutrin in addition to AD or in place of the existing AD because its less toxic and less likely to cause weight gain, and kill the libido. What about a little something to help you sleep? I can cope with bad stuff a lot more level-headedly when I'm rested. When I'm exhausted, the same pooh makes me feel like a whipped puppy cowering in a corner.

Feel free to express your concerns. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

alley-oop-I'm sorry you're so down-it's no fun-I know this is probably not much of a suggestion but it's what's been helping me-For the past few weeks(after being really down for a while) I have forced myself to walk EVERYDAY-anywhere from 1 to 4 miles as fast as it takes to break a good sweat-I swear that sweat from anything but a hot flash is good therapy!This has become my time to think and sort my feelings-I have some really smokin jazz on my MP3 player and I just get out there and cruise-It can't hurt and has no side effects(if you stretch good first)good luck to you and remember that this will pass and you will be the whole you again-we are all thinking about you

Thanks so much, Duch. All he said was they looked good and were in the normal range. The doctor who tested my hormones is not the one who prescribed the Paxil. I started seeing a psychiatrist who runs a women's clinic specializing in PMS a year and a half ago when I had a bad reaction to Depo Provera, including being thrown into a huge depression like I have never experienced before and throwing up every day for 2 - 3 months. I was on Paxil a number of years ago and it worked well for me and I didn't have any problems at all while on it or coming off it. I have tried a few other ADs, including Wellbutrin, but the side effects were not good. On Wellbutrin, I felt so angry and hostile I thought I would rip someone's head off (which is not like me at all - I am so mild-mannered). I tried Effexor for quite a few months, in spite of all the side effects I had while on it (body jerks, sweats, increased anxiety - which is what I really needed it for). I stopped it when I had the reaction to Depo because I thought it wasn't working (didn't know at the time just what Depo can do to you).

I am working on getting a better night's sleep. Last night I took some Tylenol Simply Sleep and I slept better than I have been, which was nice.
.
The psychiatrist I see had agreed to let me try bio-identical estrogen (patch), but I wanted to get my hormones checked first. Plus, I still haven't been able to quit smoking. Working on that though. So, I am torn. Do I give the estrogen a trial for a few weeks to see if things improve, or go by what the orthomolecular practitioner said and not? I guess I have a decision to make.

Anyway, thanks so much for the reply. Take care.

Alley

Thanks so much, mochombo. I am a big walker. I need to increase the amount and speed, but I make a point of getting out every day for at least two walks of about 1/2 hour each. It does feel good to be out in the fresh air. I have a dog, so it is real incentive to get out there and try to be active. I also have a rebounder which I am going to start using again. It's fun exercise and I think it will help. And, as you say, it can't hurt and there are not side effects :-). I have also been doing some meditation tapes which I am hoping will clear my head a bit and help me relax and regroup.

Thanks again for the advice and encouragement. And, keep enjoying that smokin jazz and your power walks :-)

Alley

Hi Alley,

I went through a terrible phase of similar problems and I always believed that they were hormonal. I am still told that I'm to young at 47 to be going through peri but ha! I haven't had a period since Dec. last year and I now have more of the physical symptoms than the emotional ones. Whatever the cause I hope that we can be a support system for you. I'm glad that you have a dog as caring for a pet is such a joy. Walking everyday is the best thing for you so see, you are alreading on the right path. Something that helps me is really focusing on the positive even though it seems like there is hardly any. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, sip some tea, read a good novel ( a happy one) and rent some good comedy movies. I know that hormonal or other physical reasons are different than mental ones but all the small positive stuff still whittles away some of the darkness. Please don't wear yourself down even more by trying to hard or beating up on yourself. Try to laugh just once a day at first, it really is beneficial. I hope you feel better very soon.

Shakti

alley-can you recommend some meditation tapes?my doctor wants me to see a therapist to help with stress but I'm hoping to not spend a fortune(that would be even more stressful) on something I can do on my own-shakti is right about laughing-if you can get to a place where that's even possible-I had a string of days where there could be no laughing but when I pulled out of it Seinfeld re-runs always get me going-I'll be watching them when I'm drooling my oatmeal in "the home" and still be wetting my pants with laughter-of course I'll be wetting my pants anyway-I agree with Duch too on the 'whipped pup cowering in a corner' analogy-Sleep -or lack of it-colors everything else-HANG IN THERE GIRL

allleyoop,
I would ask for the #'s from your test...I had mine checked 3 mo ago, my periods were 2x a mo. and was having horrible symptoms of hormonal imbalance. They told me too they were norml, but I asked for the #'s and found out my fsh was 17.5 , estridiol was 32 range 30-400. and progest. was something like 1.11. Yes those #'s are in normal range, however fsh is rising and I barely had any esrogen at the time of the test anyway.

I am iron deficiant..took iron pills and it didn't do much. I eat high iron foods and it seemed to have brought it up some. Iron is hard for the body to absorb, always eat high iron foods or take your iron pill with O.J. I'm sure they told you that. MIkki




Mochombo,
I have several cd's from effective learning systems. I love them. They are good relaxation exercises. They are called "the love tapes" and have been around for awhile. Soothing voices too, but you have to be able to rest while doing them. Mikki

Mikki-which tapes do you have-I googled them and there are so many-thanks

Alley,

We can be all over the place with our hormones during the phases of peri. It's possible you'd get a VERY different reading, even from day to day. Some people don't bother to have testing, as they are simply not reliable...

Personally, I think that if we feel like total poop after years of feeling fine, we know we are in peri.

I really feel for you - take good care of yourself right now. We're here for you.

(((HUGS)))

JJ

That's a crying shame that Wellbutrin didn't suit you, for as you know, its also zyban and that's how I started on it. My doctor made it perfectly clear he wouldn't prescribe HRT if I smoked. Mind you, he wasn't all that keen on Rx'ing hormones after I quit, either. But then I discovered the stuff also takes the edge off the hot flushes, so I keep on using it. It does jack for me on gloomy days. St Johns wort suits me better for the blues.

If you are interested in quitting, there is at least one other anti depressant with the same statistical success. Its an older AD called nortriptylene, and it's pennies in comparison to Wellie. The down side is that it flattens your libido, but if you're only on it for 12 weeks, and you can quit smoking, I'm sure you won't care.

I wonder if there are other ADs out there for smoking cessation. There's a bunch for overcoming alcohol etc.....

I know what I would do in answer to your last paragraph, but lovie, it has to come from you, be your decision. Whatever you choose, be assured, we'll be there.

Chantrix quadruples sucess rates in smoking cessation

Almost two months ago, we posted that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, FDA, was fast-tracking a potentially promising new drug to help smokers quit smoking. In earlier clinical trials, varenicline tartrate or Chantix, worked in ways that previous smoking cessation drugs did not, indicating a higher success rate where other drugs had failed.

Chantix acts on the areas of the brain affected by nicotine and helps those who smoke cigarettes to quit smoking in two ways: by providing some nicotine effects to ease the withdrawal symptoms and by blocking the effects of nicotine from cigarettes if they start smoking again.

Now, according to three studies published in the July 5 Journal of the American Medical Association, it is being reported Chantix quadruples the chances that a smoker can quit smoking and is twice as effective as the currently prescribed drug Zyban. Keep in mind though, the research was funded by the drug maker, Pfizer, and experts warn that the drug is far from a perfect solution for smokers trying to quit -- and "definitely not a panacea for smoking cessation."

According to Dr. Steven Galson, Director of FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, "Chantix therapy has proven to be effective in smokers motivated to quit and will provide another tool for physicians to use for the millions of smokers who want to quit." I believe this is a more realistic assessment of the ability of a medication designed to help smokers quit smoking.

Hey Alley!
I can sure understand how you are feeling. I've been through a clinical depression before in my life. Lately I've found that sleep seems to be my best friend (adrenal exhaustion perhaps) but feel so bad, so depressed I also wonder if this isn't another form of depression. I would STRONGLY suggest trying the patch for a couple of cycles to see how you feel. Then atleast you will be able to pinpoint where this is all coming from. I had to go on hormones to stop bleeding last year and must say I felt great! REALLY good, except for the headaches it gave me. I couldn't stay on them, over 40 and a smoker.
I am also starting to believe that I may need an AD although I am dead set against them, but know that if this goes on it is no way of life, for myself or my Girls. My hormones also *looked o.k., not bad* 2 months ago.
Is there a time of month that you feel functional, if only for a few days? Mine is when I get my period and about 3 days after it stops, then the ovulation pain sets in and seems to stay for 2 weeks untill the chills and utter fatigue sets in. So basically I also have about 7 days of the month that I almost feel like myself. Not enough at all.
When I took the hormones I also needed to take a cardio asprin with it. Please look into that since we are in a high risk group.
Write back with your decision of what road you will take and how you are feeling!!!!
BIG Hug to you Topday
Girlsmom

Well I have 12 of the "love cd's" 3 of which are the while -u-drive. I have 2 on self esteem, 2 on pos. thinking, 1 stress, 1 angry, 1 worry, 1 visualisation, and 1 anxiety.
They are all the 3in1 cd's. Everything they do is put together nicely and very relaxing, for me anyway. I know it is hard to buy stuff like this because you never know what your getting until you buy and and bring it home...then usually you can't return it. The music is beautiful and apparently specailly made in different tones for brain activity....like the alpha waves and such. It is subliminal through the music in the 3in1 cd's so be aware. You can hear him speaking very softly every once in awhile through the music. The music just lets the consious brain rest while the subconcious part pick up on the words. Some people don't believe in this or are afraid of what they may be saying under the music...I know how powerful the subconcious can be living with anxiety and second I trust this man/company and don't think they would put anything in there that would be bad.

I went on their site myself and the "meditation cd's are new" I don't have any of the ones specifically for meditation. I plan on buying some though...I trust then will be awesome as well. Good luck mikki

Thanks so much, Shakti. This place has been a tremendous support to me already. Just reading about other women's experiences and knowing that I am not alone with these weird and unnerving symptoms has been a relief. It seems like I hit 42 and my life as I knew it just starting falling apart. Thanks for the tips as well. I have a couple of good books that I haven't had time to read, so I will try that to take my mind off of things. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but it's not easy. I'm working on that though.

Thanks again. Take good care of you.

Alley

I have been using CDs by Kelly Howell. Right now I am using Sacred Garden. It is a music and window frequencies cd for meditation. She has a whole bunch of CDs. If you want to try some therapy on your own, there is a good book called "The Feel Good Handbook" (I think that's what it is called). It has all kinds of exercises in it and I found it quite useful.

Good idea about the Seinfeld re-runs. Some of them can really make me laugh and I need a good laugh right now.

Thanks again. Have a great day and take care!

Alley

Thanks, Girlsmom. I know what you mean about the depression. I went through one about 11 years ago and this is so completely different. I'm soooooooooooo tired and feel so defeated it's unnerving. I wasn't doing too badly until late January early February when I got hit with two periods two weeks apart (so a month of perma-PMS) and then got a really bad flu that was going around the office. I haven't felt great since. Plus, there was a lot of tension and stress at the office which was starting to get to me.

I used to be afraid of medication as well. When I had the depression 11 years ago, I did take something and it made the world of difference. I had refused for a number of months but it got to be too much. It took a few weeks, but it ended up helping me a lot. It is a personal decision, however, and one that can not be made lightly. You will know if and when it is right for you and then you can discuss options with your doctor.

I may actually try the estrogen patch for a couple of cycles as you suggest just to see. I really want to quit smoking (I have been saying that since last fall LOL), so maybe since I am off work for a couple of months, I will really hunker down and try to do it for real this time.

Thanks again. Have a wonderful evening.

Alley

Hi Duch,

I know, I was disappointed that the Wellbutrin didn't suit me. I had actually asked for it because I had hoped it would help me quit smoking.

I have never tried St. John's Wort, but have heard good things about it. Something to think about.

I had been reading about the Chantix that you posted about. Unfortunately, I don't think it is available in Canada yet :-( It sounds very promising. I will raise it with my doctor to see if it is here yet, but I couldn't find any info on the Health Canada site to say that we had it.

Thanks again, Duch. Hope you have a lovely evening.

Alley

Just to add, I did the Prozac thing 12.5 years ago and really felt it saved me. Problem is that I was on it on and off (MUCH more on) for the following 9 years. I'm just trying to convince myself that if it is hormonal, I won't swollow an AD again but I will never say never!

Thanks, joliejacq. I agree with you that if we feel like total poop after years of feeling fine, we know we are in peri. I mean, I have always had a bit of anxiety - the healthy kind - but it never stopped me from doing things. And, until my mid-30s, I had never been depressed a day in my life. I just went with the flow and was on the go having fun and doing things. Now, I am like this pessimistic, apprehensive freak! Ugh!

I appreciate the support. It means a lot.

Thanks again. You take good care of you too. Have a great evening.

Alley

Hi sunflowermmh!

I did get my results over the phone, although they didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. The progesterone was 17.6 (I think) and the estrogen was 434 (the max of the estrogen range was 2320 (or something like that)).

Good Lord, how could they say your estrogen was normal when it was just 2 points above the absolute minimum of the range. That is ridiculous! I swear that doctors these days just don't give a damn. It is so frustrating.

I have had a hard time absorbing iron orally and the last time I was deficient I had to have iron injections. Made a difference. I had a few recently when my iron dropped really low again, but seem to have had a reaction to the last one (really, really nauseas for the past 2.5 weeks - blech!). I want to get my level checked again before I have another shot.

Thanks again. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

Alley