I'm on this sight for the third day in a row. My husband does not want to understand peri. Is there even one woman out there who has a husband who has read one of your peri/meno books from cover to cover. Books like "Silent Passage, Menopause" by Gail Sheehy or the "Sexy Years" by Suzanne Somers and the many other books about peri which many of us have at home.
Are there husbands out there who really want to study and understand what we are going through??? Please give us married women insight into your husband's interest/or lack thereof in understanding peri/meno. I feel so frustrated with my husband for not caring. Maybe I need to grow a tumor on my face for him to finally take me seriously. Maybe it needs to be more visual since he is a man. I had to had some humor and sarcasm to lighten things up. Look forward to hearing your responses. Thank you.
Full Version: DO HUSBANDS CARE?
Goodness NO, my husband when he is home watches TV or sleeps, read a menopause book> I think NOT!
Maybe I'll set a can of beer on top of a menopause book by his lazy boy!
Maybe I'll set a can of beer on top of a menopause book by his lazy boy!
Hi bubbles
I remember when I first started understanding peri and its symptoms and I started talking about it to my husband it was like I was speaking in a foreign language. Words like perimenopause, FSH, LH, TSH, prostaglandins, phytoestrogens etc completely confused him. Fortunately he now has a better understanding of how complicated this whole business can be.
In answer to your question though, no he hasn't read a book about it.
robin
I remember when I first started understanding peri and its symptoms and I started talking about it to my husband it was like I was speaking in a foreign language. Words like perimenopause, FSH, LH, TSH, prostaglandins, phytoestrogens etc completely confused him. Fortunately he now has a better understanding of how complicated this whole business can be.
In answer to your question though, no he hasn't read a book about it.
robin
You know, my husband loves me, supports me, cares deeply about me. He understands that I am going through this and it's as mystical to him and it is me.
I don't need him to read a book on it, just supporting me through it is enough.
Sometimes him NOT being so informed gives me the chance to still be womanly and normal to him. Leaving behind the throes of peri for even just a minute or an hour or a day when I am with his is heaven. I like that.
Peace and love,
Bonnie
I don't need him to read a book on it, just supporting me through it is enough.
Sometimes him NOT being so informed gives me the chance to still be womanly and normal to him. Leaving behind the throes of peri for even just a minute or an hour or a day when I am with his is heaven. I like that.
Peace and love,
Bonnie
Hi ladies,
I have to chime in here. I am probably in the rare here and I am going to keep my eye on this thread and count my blessings because I have to say my husband is and has been there for me through this whole thing. While I have no doubt he has his frustrations...who wouldn't sometimes I think he expects to see my head do a 180 and pea soup flying out of my mouth, sometimes I feel like my head has done a 180 along with my personality. Has he read a book through... no, but when this started or we noticed something dramatically changing with me we researched together trying to figure out what in the world was wrong, he almost seemed more persistant with it than I was. he sat through many Dr's appt. and tests to rule things out. We finally came to the conclusion of what was happening when we saw the 35 symptom list. Then we bought a few books on peri and meno. He did go through some of them with me and would point out the key points. he has driven me when I have been too spacey too drive, went grocery shopping when I just couldn't do it, told me to go lay down and rest without me saying a word because he can see it in my face, tells me to take naps when I can. He has had to pick up a lot of extras he didn't have to do before...he just hugs me sometimes and says "it will get better"
My 18 yr old son on the other hand treats me like I have completely lost it and I am useless. My husband tells him maybe if you would stop thinking about yourself for 5 min. and read some of this you would understand what your mother is going through.
I am by no means boasting...I am just very gratefull for him, but probably not enough. he is by no means perfect and shows his frustration at times, who wouldn't this whole thing has disrupted our lives. We have to work around how I feel everyday and never plan anything right now. The romance department needs work....we are both so overwhelmed by peri. MY husband is sensitive though he doesn't have trouble crying like some so I don't know if this helps...probably
My heart goes out to you because I had someone tell me her husband said ...you either go to the Dr. , find out what is wrong, get drugs for it or I am leaving.
HUGS MIkki
I have to chime in here. I am probably in the rare here and I am going to keep my eye on this thread and count my blessings because I have to say my husband is and has been there for me through this whole thing. While I have no doubt he has his frustrations...who wouldn't sometimes I think he expects to see my head do a 180 and pea soup flying out of my mouth, sometimes I feel like my head has done a 180 along with my personality. Has he read a book through... no, but when this started or we noticed something dramatically changing with me we researched together trying to figure out what in the world was wrong, he almost seemed more persistant with it than I was. he sat through many Dr's appt. and tests to rule things out. We finally came to the conclusion of what was happening when we saw the 35 symptom list. Then we bought a few books on peri and meno. He did go through some of them with me and would point out the key points. he has driven me when I have been too spacey too drive, went grocery shopping when I just couldn't do it, told me to go lay down and rest without me saying a word because he can see it in my face, tells me to take naps when I can. He has had to pick up a lot of extras he didn't have to do before...he just hugs me sometimes and says "it will get better"
My 18 yr old son on the other hand treats me like I have completely lost it and I am useless. My husband tells him maybe if you would stop thinking about yourself for 5 min. and read some of this you would understand what your mother is going through.
I am by no means boasting...I am just very gratefull for him, but probably not enough. he is by no means perfect and shows his frustration at times, who wouldn't this whole thing has disrupted our lives. We have to work around how I feel everyday and never plan anything right now. The romance department needs work....we are both so overwhelmed by peri. MY husband is sensitive though he doesn't have trouble crying like some so I don't know if this helps...probably
My heart goes out to you because I had someone tell me her husband said ...you either go to the Dr. , find out what is wrong, get drugs for it or I am leaving.
HUGS MIkki
QUOTE (sunflowermmh @ Mar 4 2007, 03:27 PM) 
Hi ladies,
I have to chime in here. I am probably in the rare here and I am going to keep my eye on this thread and count my blessings because I have to say my husband is and has been there for me through this whole thing. While I have no doubt he has his frustrations...who wouldn't sometimes I think he expects to see my head do a 180 and pea soup flying out of my mouth, sometimes I feel like my head has done a 180 along with my personality. Has he read a book through... no, but when this started or we noticed something dramatically changing with me we researched together trying to figure out what in the world was wrong, he almost seemed more persistant with it than I was. he sat through many Dr's appt. and tests to rule things out. We finally came to the conclusion of what was happening when we saw the 35 symptom list. Then we bought a few books on peri and meno. He did go through some of them with me and would point out the key points. he has driven me when I have been too spacey too drive, went grocery shopping when I just couldn't do it, told me to go lay down and rest without me saying a word because he can see it in my face, tells me to take naps when I can. He has had to pick up a lot of extras he didn't have to do before...he just hugs me sometimes and says "it will get better"
My 18 yr old son on the other hand treats me like I have completely lost it and I am useless. My husband tells him maybe if you would stop thinking about yourself for 5 min. and read some of this you would understand what your mother is going through.
I am by no means boasting...I am just very gratefull for him, but probably not enough. he is by no means perfect and shows his frustration at times, who wouldn't this whole thing has disrupted our lives. We have to work around how I feel everyday and never plan anything right now. The romance department needs work....we are both so overwhelmed by peri. MY husband is sensitive though he doesn't have trouble crying like some so I don't know if this helps...probably
My heart goes out to you because I had someone tell me her husband said ...you either go to the Dr. , find out what is wrong, get drugs for it or I am leaving.
HUGS MIkki
I have to chime in here. I am probably in the rare here and I am going to keep my eye on this thread and count my blessings because I have to say my husband is and has been there for me through this whole thing. While I have no doubt he has his frustrations...who wouldn't sometimes I think he expects to see my head do a 180 and pea soup flying out of my mouth, sometimes I feel like my head has done a 180 along with my personality. Has he read a book through... no, but when this started or we noticed something dramatically changing with me we researched together trying to figure out what in the world was wrong, he almost seemed more persistant with it than I was. he sat through many Dr's appt. and tests to rule things out. We finally came to the conclusion of what was happening when we saw the 35 symptom list. Then we bought a few books on peri and meno. He did go through some of them with me and would point out the key points. he has driven me when I have been too spacey too drive, went grocery shopping when I just couldn't do it, told me to go lay down and rest without me saying a word because he can see it in my face, tells me to take naps when I can. He has had to pick up a lot of extras he didn't have to do before...he just hugs me sometimes and says "it will get better"
My 18 yr old son on the other hand treats me like I have completely lost it and I am useless. My husband tells him maybe if you would stop thinking about yourself for 5 min. and read some of this you would understand what your mother is going through.
I am by no means boasting...I am just very gratefull for him, but probably not enough. he is by no means perfect and shows his frustration at times, who wouldn't this whole thing has disrupted our lives. We have to work around how I feel everyday and never plan anything right now. The romance department needs work....we are both so overwhelmed by peri. MY husband is sensitive though he doesn't have trouble crying like some so I don't know if this helps...probably
My heart goes out to you because I had someone tell me her husband said ...you either go to the Dr. , find out what is wrong, get drugs for it or I am leaving.
HUGS MIkki
Mikki,
I think there are many more like us on this site. My hubby actually came up with menopause through his own research when I first started having tingling etc, and I blew HIM off. If I'd listened to him and checked it out, I would have found this site months before I did. Ditto on waiting for me in the doctor's office. God love our husbands.
I also like that my husband doesn't make as big a deal out of this as I do. He sees me for more than my peri symptoms, and we go with it. It's like being normal again. I love that.
We'll weather this as we have many things in the past 26 years.
Bonnie
Hi everyone:
When I got my first sympoms and I went into the doctors office with palps,anxiety and migraines etc. my hubby went in with me. He talked to the doctor also. The doctor did not think it was meno related but my husband and I thought it could be. Then we researched and found this site, read up on things and figured things out. No, my husband still gets tired of me sometimes complaining but i know he understands and is willing to suffer and be happy with me.
Mopsy
When I got my first sympoms and I went into the doctors office with palps,anxiety and migraines etc. my hubby went in with me. He talked to the doctor also. The doctor did not think it was meno related but my husband and I thought it could be. Then we researched and found this site, read up on things and figured things out. No, my husband still gets tired of me sometimes complaining but i know he understands and is willing to suffer and be happy with me.
Mopsy
QUOTE (bubbleskitty @ Mar 4 2007, 01:32 PM)
I'm on this sight for the third day in a row. My husband does not want to understand peri. Is there even one woman out there who has a husband who has read one of your peri/meno books from cover to cover. Books like "Silent Passage, Menopause" by Gail Sheehy or the "Sexy Years" by Suzanne Somers and the many other books about peri which many of us have at home.
Are there husbands out there who really want to study and understand what we are going through??? Please give us married women insight into your husband's interest/or lack thereof in understanding peri/meno. I feel so frustrated with my husband for not caring. Maybe I need to grow a tumor on my face for him to finally take me seriously. Maybe it needs to be more visual since he is a man. I had to had some humor and sarcasm to lighten things up. Look forward to hearing your responses. Thank you.
Are there husbands out there who really want to study and understand what we are going through??? Please give us married women insight into your husband's interest/or lack thereof in understanding peri/meno. I feel so frustrated with my husband for not caring. Maybe I need to grow a tumor on my face for him to finally take me seriously. Maybe it needs to be more visual since he is a man. I had to had some humor and sarcasm to lighten things up. Look forward to hearing your responses. Thank you.
HI guys,,,,,
well, now I have to throw in my two cents here! My husband is very very supportive of me, thank God! We have been married 30 yrs. so I guess at this point, he just sort of rolls with things.lol...but truly, he is there for me. He also goes with me to my dr.'s appt.'s, and tries to be involved with what the doc says. he hasn't read any books on the subject (which I would love for him to do), but he listens to me complain ALL THE TIME, and sits and talks this out with me, and kisses me and tells me he loves me anyway, and that this will all work out, not to worry. He's not really the type to read a book about this anyway, I mean, I'd like him too, but I can tell, that's not happening. But, what I can do, is buy a few books myself, read them and when we talk in the evenings, I whip out the books, and show him certain sections, that's better. Believe it or not, he's learned a lot just by my being on this site! All the stuff I learn here, I tell him. So, he's gotten pretty adept to this whole thing. He doesn't brush it off, or not take me seriously, he can SEE how bad this has been for me! It took some time at the very beginning though, I think at first he didn't know what to think..lol....but, he came up to speed pretty quickly.
Do Husbands care? Yes, I think they do in their own way, but for many, understanding it all is as confusing and overwhelming to them as the symptoms are to us. Maybe even more so. I think it actually scares them that they can't "fix their wives" like they fix other things, you know? I seem to be one of the lucky ones. My husband ranks right up there in "Saint" status. He is sooo very understanding and caring. He helps around the house, takes my mood swings in stride, listens to me as I cry and try to sort all this out. He prays with and for me and allows me to have a bad day if I need to. I know it isn't easy on him ...living with a loving wife one day and a psycho the next! But he does help me through the rough spots, holds me and tells me WE will get through this together and one day it will all be okay. This must be the "worse" part of 'for better or worse' in our marriage vows. Even our 19 year old son who lives with us while attending college has been understanding and thoughtful, above and beyond! I'm thankful he takes after his dad. I'm sorry that not all husbands seem to care and understand. But like I said, I think it scares them that they can't fix it for us. Maybe it's not that they don't want to care so much as it is they just don't know how. Hope this helps.
Kitty to all of you who responded above to my forum,
Thank you for your comments. I am envious that so many of you have husbands who want to learn about peri. However, it seems few men really what to read and research the subject the way many of us women do. What is so odd about my situation is that my husband is a physician. I've decided that most physicians are so tired of complaints that their indifference carries over to their own families. Part of the reason is that they see so many awful diseases that kill people. By the way, I've heard some of my friends say that their physician husbands will simply tell them to consider a hysterectomy as though that is the solution to peri. So many physicians are ignorant about peri, hysterectomies, bhrt. I've seen it firsthand among some of my friends who are married to physicians. Some of these women have actually had hysterectomies simply because they had a little heavy bleeding for a few months. Now they have no ovaries and cannot get the hormones balanced out. Those of you who have understanding husbands are very lucky. Thanks for your responses.
Thank you for your comments. I am envious that so many of you have husbands who want to learn about peri. However, it seems few men really what to read and research the subject the way many of us women do. What is so odd about my situation is that my husband is a physician. I've decided that most physicians are so tired of complaints that their indifference carries over to their own families. Part of the reason is that they see so many awful diseases that kill people. By the way, I've heard some of my friends say that their physician husbands will simply tell them to consider a hysterectomy as though that is the solution to peri. So many physicians are ignorant about peri, hysterectomies, bhrt. I've seen it firsthand among some of my friends who are married to physicians. Some of these women have actually had hysterectomies simply because they had a little heavy bleeding for a few months. Now they have no ovaries and cannot get the hormones balanced out. Those of you who have understanding husbands are very lucky. Thanks for your responses.
My husband hasn't read any books on menopause, and he doesn't care to understand. All he cares about is how my not feeling well impacts HIS life. He's tired of me not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, and he is tired of me not feeling well. He's tired of hearing about anxiety and palps and hot flashes, etc, and he thinks me going to a therapist is a waste of time, and that I am stupid to take Ativan...he said I should be able to deal with things without taking pills...I have sent him menopause articles via email which he has read and he will TELL me he understands, but actions speak louder than words unfortunately. 
I am happy for you ladies that have a supportive husband because I am sure it helps you to cope.
I am happy for you ladies that have a supportive husband because I am sure it helps you to cope.
It was actually my husband that researcherd my symptoms and suggested peri meno,because I am 30 I didn't think of it.He is always supportive,even to the point of telling me when I am obsessing-which I do some times.I hate that there are some men who are not supportive,but I am thankful that mine is.
Well i am happy to see that more husbands are supportive...what I see and hear around my social circle( if what I have now is even called a social circle seeing as I don't do much right now) is not this positive.
I realize our husbands will never feel what we are feeling, to understand completely without going through it is not going to happen...but they have compassion for us, don't want to see someone they love suffer so much and SSSSOOO true on the fixing part. I have said this to my husband that he doesn't need to fix me( those words exactly) I think it is in their nature. HUGS Mikki
I realize our husbands will never feel what we are feeling, to understand completely without going through it is not going to happen...but they have compassion for us, don't want to see someone they love suffer so much and SSSSOOO true on the fixing part. I have said this to my husband that he doesn't need to fix me( those words exactly) I think it is in their nature. HUGS Mikki
You know what is a good and even sadder question ,as I am thinking about this, is how many of us have lost female friends because of this. Now I have 1 or 2 that didn't get it, partly because I just turned 40 and have been going through this for a few yr's, pretty severe for the past year or so the age thing is a factor...they are the same 1 a couple of years younger. They just aren't going through it yet, or not feeling it's symptoms heavely. They didn't tell me off or anything, just slowly disappeared after I had thought we were closer than that. A comment was made here and there to lead me to believe it had something to do with this or the way I was acting, like being unsocial. That is sad. HUGS Mikki
QUOTE (bubbleskitty @ Mar 4 2007, 01:32 PM)
Are there husbands out there who really want to study and understand what we are going through??? Please give us married women insight into your husband's interest/or lack thereof in understanding peri/meno. I feel so frustrated with my husband for not caring. Maybe I need to grow a tumor on my face for him to finally take me seriously. Maybe it needs to be more visual since he is a man. I had to had some humor and sarcasm to lighten things up. Look forward to hearing your responses. Thank you.
My husband didn't read any of the books, attend any of the wonderful Guest Chats here on PS (transcripts here or pay hardly any attention to meno issues.
I wanted to comment on the tumor, though - I had a brain tumor and my husband didn't pay any attention to that either, through about 5 years of testing, until the doctor described the upcoming surgery. THEN my husband started taking things seriously but he still didn't read any books or anything. During the testing phase when I was scared to death, he would just tell me to "think happy thoughts" and all my symptoms would go away.
QUOTE (bubbleskitty @ Mar 4 2007, 01:32 PM)
Are there husbands out there who really want to study and understand what we are going through??? Please give us married women insight into your husband's interest/or lack thereof in understanding peri/meno. I feel so frustrated with my husband for not caring. Maybe I need to grow a tumor on my face for him to finally take me seriously. Maybe it needs to be more visual since he is a man. I had to had some humor and sarcasm to lighten things up. Look forward to hearing your responses. Thank you.
My husband didn't read any of the books, attend any of the wonderful Guest Chats here on PS (transcripts here ) or pay hardly any attention to meno issues.
I wanted to comment on the tumor, though - I had a brain tumor and my husband didn't pay any attention to that either, through about 5 years of testing, until the doctor described the upcoming surgery. THEN my husband started taking things seriously but he still didn't read any books or anything. During the testing phase when I was scared to death, he would just tell me to "think happy thoughts" and all my symptoms would go away.
QUOTE (Tina @ Mar 5 2007, 10:15 AM)
My husband hasn't read any books on menopause, and he doesn't care to understand. All he cares about is how my not feeling well impacts HIS life. He's tired of me not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, and he is tired of me not feeling well. He's tired of hearing about anxiety and palps and hot flashes, etc, and he thinks me going to a therapist is a waste of time, and that I am stupid to take Ativan...he said I should be able to deal with things without taking pills...I have sent him menopause articles via email which he has read and he will TELL me he understands, but actions speak louder than words unfortunately. I am happy for you ladies that have a supportive husband because I am sure it helps you to cope.
I am happy for you ladies that have a supportive husband because I am sure it helps you to cope.Tina Hi there
I know just how you feel it is the same for me. I have begged and begged but still he won't even take 30 mins to look at the posts on power surge, even though he spends all weekend on the net. It is so frustrating I just want him to know that it isn't just "all in my head" and that he says that I choose not to go out which I don't, believe me If I felt great I would pack a bag and go on a month's vacation ON MY OWN !!! LOL last week he got the sickness and you know what bug you should have heard him. I have been going through hell for three years with every symptom and some but his dinner is always there curtesy of me every night.
Just wait until I am through this, my life is going to be for me.
My support initially was good and when I started getting panic attacks and I figured out it was peri, he said his first thought was I was going through the change but didn't want to say anything because he wasn't sure. Now, I would say the support is 50/50...more like selective caring, like selective listening.
Plumeria
Plumeria
My support initially was good and when I started getting panic attacks and I figured out it was peri, he said his first thought was I was going through the change but didn't want to say anything because he wasn't sure. Now, I would say the support is 50/50...more like selective caring, like selective listening.
Plumeria
Plumeria
Hi Everyone,
I have to say my husband is supportive in that he doesn't say anything. Sometimes I'll snap at him and he'll just act like it didn't happen. I guess that's his way of dealing with it (?) When I am in a foul mood I notice that he "disappears" and avoids me by cleaning up the garage, etc.. Right now I am feeling pretty good so this is making me laugh. When I feel horrible, I am happy he's staying away from me. He would never read a book on menopause/peri. He only reads biographies or books about politics, war in Iraq, etc. (BOOOOOORING!) But all in all he comes home everynight and still calls me baby. So I guess I am lucky too. Once I yelled at him something awful (something I swear I never did once until about last year - I am 49 and we are married 21 years!) He came home the next day from work with a bottle of wine (he does not drink so it was ALL for me) This made me yell more - "You're giving me wine because I yelled at you... blah blah -) the poor guy can't win.
Hang in there,
Love Daisy
I have to say my husband is supportive in that he doesn't say anything. Sometimes I'll snap at him and he'll just act like it didn't happen. I guess that's his way of dealing with it (?) When I am in a foul mood I notice that he "disappears" and avoids me by cleaning up the garage, etc.. Right now I am feeling pretty good so this is making me laugh. When I feel horrible, I am happy he's staying away from me. He would never read a book on menopause/peri. He only reads biographies or books about politics, war in Iraq, etc. (BOOOOOORING!) But all in all he comes home everynight and still calls me baby. So I guess I am lucky too. Once I yelled at him something awful (something I swear I never did once until about last year - I am 49 and we are married 21 years!) He came home the next day from work with a bottle of wine (he does not drink so it was ALL for me) This made me yell more - "You're giving me wine because I yelled at you... blah blah -) the poor guy can't win.
Hang in there,
Love Daisy
I HAD to laugh...my husband could WRITE a book by now! LOL!
Think about this for a moment.....
If we are in our 40's, 50's and 60's, our husbands most likely are too! While we are busy whining about our symptoms and focusing on ourselves....MEN also go through changes in life even though they don't have periods or lack of periods to show for it. While I have been so concerned if I will make it or not this past 4 years, my husband has endured the following without complaining once...
1. Gained weight (well, he's complained a few times b/c his pants are too tight!)
2. Increased BP
3. Elevated cholesterol (we've gotten that down with diet now)
4. 2 bouts of kidney stones.
5. Lost his job as a result of "downsizing" after 28 years with the same company, then starting over with another company for less money!
6. Lower sex drive, which was always one of the best parts of our marriage and has made him question what in the world is wrong with him! (it's okay, mine's not where it used to be either so that's a fair trade!)
7. Lovingly dealing with a wife who is not as thin, tight, or beautiful as the one he married 31 years ago, who is also going through menopause!
8. Given his youngest daughter away in marriage...that's the one that would JUMP up and down at the door when she was little screaming, "DADA HOME!"
9. Spends time with his oldest daughter who cries thinking she'll never marry...assuring her that she is a beautiful young woman that God is keeping for the perfect man (who in hubby's eyes CANNOT exist!).
10.Gives loving attention to my aging parents as if they were his own, knowing that we will be in need of attention someday. (if menopause and manopause don't kill us first! LOL!)
11.Continues to bear the burden of making a living for his family and always comes home loving us more than himself.
12.Often gives in to the whimsy of me wanting to spend money on new countertops, adding a porch or changing the landscape in order to make my home more "beautiful", while in his heart, it's beautiful enough because it is his "home"!
I hang my head to think of the days I complain about this man...for I am blessed indeed!
Think about this for a moment.....
If we are in our 40's, 50's and 60's, our husbands most likely are too! While we are busy whining about our symptoms and focusing on ourselves....MEN also go through changes in life even though they don't have periods or lack of periods to show for it. While I have been so concerned if I will make it or not this past 4 years, my husband has endured the following without complaining once...
1. Gained weight (well, he's complained a few times b/c his pants are too tight!)
2. Increased BP
3. Elevated cholesterol (we've gotten that down with diet now)
4. 2 bouts of kidney stones.
5. Lost his job as a result of "downsizing" after 28 years with the same company, then starting over with another company for less money!
6. Lower sex drive, which was always one of the best parts of our marriage and has made him question what in the world is wrong with him! (it's okay, mine's not where it used to be either so that's a fair trade!)
7. Lovingly dealing with a wife who is not as thin, tight, or beautiful as the one he married 31 years ago, who is also going through menopause!
8. Given his youngest daughter away in marriage...that's the one that would JUMP up and down at the door when she was little screaming, "DADA HOME!"
9. Spends time with his oldest daughter who cries thinking she'll never marry...assuring her that she is a beautiful young woman that God is keeping for the perfect man (who in hubby's eyes CANNOT exist!).
10.Gives loving attention to my aging parents as if they were his own, knowing that we will be in need of attention someday. (if menopause and manopause don't kill us first! LOL!)
11.Continues to bear the burden of making a living for his family and always comes home loving us more than himself.
12.Often gives in to the whimsy of me wanting to spend money on new countertops, adding a porch or changing the landscape in order to make my home more "beautiful", while in his heart, it's beautiful enough because it is his "home"!
I hang my head to think of the days I complain about this man...for I am blessed indeed!
My DH has not read any Peri Books, and I don't really even want him to. But he has done piles of research on internet; enough to know it is not in my head, he is also capable of telling me what is happening and why it is happening, so for me, knowing his work schedule is so busy, I couldn't ask for more. He sees my mood changes, and when I snap at him, and instantly cry in remorse, he just hugs me to him so tight it feels so warm and loving.
He has lovingly called my "other personality" Casper....and we just refer to my symptoms as "Casper is loaning my body at the moment". My sex drive is way down; but as he's 10 years older, he says emotional love is more inportant than physical right now, so our previously very active sex life is not so frequent...we just make the most of it when it does happen. He took 2 weeks off work to be with me through the total hormonal crash to sudden menopause.....what more could I ask for? I love him more now than ever...
He has lovingly called my "other personality" Casper....and we just refer to my symptoms as "Casper is loaning my body at the moment". My sex drive is way down; but as he's 10 years older, he says emotional love is more inportant than physical right now, so our previously very active sex life is not so frequent...we just make the most of it when it does happen. He took 2 weeks off work to be with me through the total hormonal crash to sudden menopause.....what more could I ask for? I love him more now than ever...
My boyfriend (who will be my husband soon) is interested in peri and menopause because, like me, he is very interested in the science aspects. He reviews my test results, talks to me about my symptomsas they relate to hormone levels, has read parts of the books I bought, read the Newsweek issue about menopause, and yesterday watched Dr. Susan Love on Oprah talking about menopause. He will also watch the PBS Christiane Northrup program this week. He is educating himself to a great deal and I so appreciate that !
I am not having a horrible time with peri right now, so it's easy for us to focus on the science rather than symptoms, if you know what I mean. I know some of you are knocked out by symptoms and I could not have more sympathy for you. I know what it's like to have cramps so bad I can't get out of bed, or to have the flu or some other illness that wipes me out, and even though the actual symptoms are different than for peri or menopause the end result is the same: you can't function properly and you feel like total crap. My guy says he will be 100% sympathetic if that ever happens to me, and I do believe he will be but only time will tell if he actually is.
I am not having a horrible time with peri right now, so it's easy for us to focus on the science rather than symptoms, if you know what I mean. I know some of you are knocked out by symptoms and I could not have more sympathy for you. I know what it's like to have cramps so bad I can't get out of bed, or to have the flu or some other illness that wipes me out, and even though the actual symptoms are different than for peri or menopause the end result is the same: you can't function properly and you feel like total crap. My guy says he will be 100% sympathetic if that ever happens to me, and I do believe he will be but only time will tell if he actually is.
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1. Gained weight (well, he's complained a few times b/c his pants are too tight!)
2. Increased BP
3. Elevated cholesterol (we've gotten that down with diet now)
4. 2 bouts of kidney stones.
5. Lost his job as a result of "downsizing" after 28 years with the same company, then starting over with another company for less money!
6. Lower sex drive, which was always one of the best parts of our marriage and has made him question what in the world is wrong with him! (it's okay, mine's not where it used to be either so that's a fair trade!)
7. Lovingly dealing with a wife who is not as thin, tight, or beautiful as the one he married 31 years ago, who is also going through menopause!
8. Given his youngest daughter away in marriage...that's the one that would JUMP up and down at the door when she was little screaming, "DADA HOME!"
9. Spends time with his oldest daughter who cries thinking she'll never marry...assuring her that she is a beautiful young woman that God is keeping for the perfect man (who in hubby's eyes CANNOT exist!).
10.Gives loving attention to my aging parents as if they were his own, knowing that we will be in need of attention someday. (if menopause and manopause don't kill us first! LOL!)
11.Continues to bear the burden of making a living for his family and always comes home loving us more than himself.
12.Often gives in to the whimsy of me wanting to spend money on new countertops, adding a porch or changing the landscape in order to make my home more "beautiful", while in his heart, it's beautiful enough because it is his "home"!
I hang my head to think of the days I complain about this man...for I am blessed indeed!
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Your hubby sounds so sweet!! You ARE blessed! He sounds lovely JH .... Number 9 is really cute...
1. Gained weight (well, he's complained a few times b/c his pants are too tight!)
2. Increased BP
3. Elevated cholesterol (we've gotten that down with diet now)
4. 2 bouts of kidney stones.
5. Lost his job as a result of "downsizing" after 28 years with the same company, then starting over with another company for less money!
6. Lower sex drive, which was always one of the best parts of our marriage and has made him question what in the world is wrong with him! (it's okay, mine's not where it used to be either so that's a fair trade!)
7. Lovingly dealing with a wife who is not as thin, tight, or beautiful as the one he married 31 years ago, who is also going through menopause!
8. Given his youngest daughter away in marriage...that's the one that would JUMP up and down at the door when she was little screaming, "DADA HOME!"
9. Spends time with his oldest daughter who cries thinking she'll never marry...assuring her that she is a beautiful young woman that God is keeping for the perfect man (who in hubby's eyes CANNOT exist!).
10.Gives loving attention to my aging parents as if they were his own, knowing that we will be in need of attention someday. (if menopause and manopause don't kill us first! LOL!)
11.Continues to bear the burden of making a living for his family and always comes home loving us more than himself.
12.Often gives in to the whimsy of me wanting to spend money on new countertops, adding a porch or changing the landscape in order to make my home more "beautiful", while in his heart, it's beautiful enough because it is his "home"!
I hang my head to think of the days I complain about this man...for I am blessed indeed!
[/quote]
Your hubby sounds so sweet!! You ARE blessed! He sounds lovely JH .... Number 9 is really cute...
my husband cares for me. i might add he takes good care of me as well.. it doesn't matter what it is, if it's menopause related, outside influences, whatever.... if it affects me, he cares. he doesn't have to read books, or websites, or research health concerns, he loves me, is always there for me, and supports me in what ever i want to do, or not do. books cannot teach that kind of caring.
My husband cares, but because the transition I am going through is quite mind-boggling, he is kind enough to give me a wide berth. I'll fill him with small details that are easily digested and that is enough. He's seen me go through it all. As long as I'm mellow like I have been the past several months, there is no reason to confuse him any more than normal. 
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