Hi, I posted as a new person last week I think. Anyway it took me all this time to deceide where I wanted to post. First I thought under anxiety because that is something I had before all this and now it is so bad. However; today I knew this was the place to post. I'm 45 and the Mother of 2 small children. My daughter is 3 years old and my son is 1 year old. They are my pride and joy but today well actually for a week things have been getting on my nerves.
Like everyday I really never get time to sit down for longer than half an hour. Anyway after a day of running up and down stairs, getting breakfast, lunch and snacks for my family. Chasing my son around as he picked up some of his sister's toys and put them in his mouth or removing him for chairs and things he climbs up all day long. Ok I'm laughing as I'm writing this even but anyone who had kids knows how hectic a day with little ones can be yet they are so much fun to be around. I love seeing them learn, explore and do new things. I mean honestly I always felt that it was better I had kids later in life because I don't think I would have had the patience when I was in my twenties to do what I do daily.
Ok but to the point, today I just yelled at my daughter when she keep asking me for things. I felt so guilty afterwards it just isn't like me. Not that I have never yelled at her before but not for asking me to do things for her. Basically to correct her behavior but today it just bothered me to be running around and not having a break.
I really can't focus or express this properly. That is another thing I'm going though that makes me think this has to be "the change"
I feel like I have PMS multiplied.
Also I have been very touchy and short tempered with my husband. I screamed at him on Saturday because after watching a movie I wanted to see he said "I'm glad that is over" LOL and I let him have it. I yelled and screamed how insensitive he was how dare he make a comment about a movie I wanted to see when I have watched movies he wanted to see. BLAH BLAH BLAH
I guess I just wanted to start posting because I really don't have anyone to share all this "change" emotional roller coaster stuff.
Everyday this past week was a stuggle to get though because I have had such intense anxiety and finally last night I got angry with my husband and today I yelled at my daughter.
I'm use to having anxiety symptoms but this anger is kinda new to me. When I look back over today I know it was mostly filled with fun playing with my kids. They really had a good day and my yelling bouts were just short interuptions. What really bothers me the most though is I didn't enjoy the day like I normally do with them. Both kids were laughing and my Son was napping while my Daughter and I watched the "Garfield" movie together. She loves that movie and we were laughing and hugging and dancing together during the movie but honestly for me it was an effort to have this joy. That just isn't me at all normally I'm very positive, I love to sing and play with my kids and I do enjoy it.
I just am hoping to get a break from the anxiety and know that I will feel real joy again and not force it.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Mimi

Mimi,

Wow, you have your hands full at 45. I'm 46 and mine are 23, 22, 21 and 16 and they STILL drive me nuts although I love them fiercely!

I'm new here too and don't really know where to post either. I'm just starting to feel like most of my anxiety is hormonal related (aka menopause or peri-menopause). The sypmtoms (at least the ones that are bothering me because I have LOTS of symptoms) I'm having are strange, bad-tasting sensations in my mouth - weird, I know, but I'm starting to believe it's anxiety/hormone related and I'm also interested in learning more about bio-identical hormones (I think I spelled that right) due to having recently been diagnosed with endometrial (uterine lining) overgrowth and also having fibroids which leads me to believe I am estrogen-dominant and I want to learn more about natural progesterone supplements.

Wow, that was a mouthful. Anyway, I think you probably ARE a better mother at your age - my parents were older and I truly believe I had an advantage over many of my peers in having mature parents. My 43 year old sister is expecting her third - her other two are 6 and 4 years and they keep her hopping. She was just confirmed pregnant after having been told she was in peri-menopause by her doctor - go figure.

You said you couldn't focus or express how you felt well. I understand - what I'm going through right now is almost IMPOSSIBLE to explain to my husband or anybody, for that matter. Well, sounds like we're in this with a LOT of other women so maybe that can be a comfort to us both.

Kathy

Mimi

Cyber hugs! You've got your hands full.

Can I make a suggestion? If possible, visit your doctor, just to keep him/her up to speed.

Would it help you to plan an activity just for you? Perhaps have hubby take care of the kids for a couple of hours, and just go someplace you're comfortable: a tea shop, the library, church, pub. If you like running, walking gardening.. hire a school kid to babymind for an hour two, three times a week just to get a break. You might feel better, and look after the family better

Delegate tasks.

And, if the stress is too much, consider something like St John's Wort. If that doesn't help, see the doctor. Lay it on the line. S/He heard it before.

And turn to us.

Well trying to respond I ended up reposting the last response. Anyway thanks both for the posts. I am going to the Dr this Sat. Actually 2 appointments one with my GYN I really want to get that blood work people have mensioned on the boards. Possibly start homone replacement therapy. The other is with a Dr who has treated my anxiety in the past. I have taken medication for anxiety in the past when it get this high. I feel right now I could use something to help me at least until I find the correct treatment for the hormonal changes.
Being an older or as the medical profession terms it today "advanced maternal age" really doesn't bother me. My parents too we older my Mom had me when she was 36 and Dad was 11 years older. The only thing is I miss both of them and wish they could have been here with me to see me married and with the children.
I think this is menopause and my Gyn is wonderful. He saw me with both of my pregnancies. He specializes in "high risk" pregnancies. Now I was consider "high risk" because of the "advanced maternal age" but also because I have a history of miscarriages and also have a thryoid issue.
Anyway fortunately I have dealt with anxiety/panic attacks in the past. I also had GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder but that was something I overcame years ago with cognitive behavior therapy. Recently I feel like I have the GAD all over again but I really think it is due to menonpause. The Drs should be able to tell me more if I'm peri or menopausal ect.

OK well it is almost 7am and my Son just woke up so I have to go.
I'll post and check back later.
Thanks

Ok hubby is off to work kids have had breakfast and now I have time to post again.
Right after my husband left for work I had a hot then cold flash or anyway some kind of weird body change and it sent me into a bit of a panic attack. I called him cause I started crying this morning when he asked me how I was doing today. At least he is being very supportive but he has to go to work LOL.
Maybe I should have started this post in the journal but honestly it was the anger those sudden bursts that scared me the most. I just yell but then I'm ok guess alot of you can relate.
I loved that animal post on here about the anger I'm trying to make fun of myself or this change thing.
Fortunately for me I have used cognitive behavior therapy to stop panic attacks and ocd thoughts so it is helping me with this a bit. When I had that wave of body temp change it really threw me into a panic attack but it passed quickly so now I'm telling myself it is ok cause it LOL CHANGES fast.
I'm planning to color or do some fun things with my daugher she is 3. My son LOL well he is only 1 so he does what he feels like but he is fun to play with too.
Now I'm craving salty food if it wasn't so early I'd make some popcorn and pop a movie in for us to watch. Heck LOL who knows I might just do that anyway. They both already had a nice healthy breakfast and better to try and enjoy this day of roller coaster emotions than stress over it.
It is nice to have a place to post and know there are others out there going through things too.
Oh as to the baby sitters and stuff suggested I was so obsessed when my Daughter was born I barely let her out of my site the first year. Before she was born I had 2 miscarriages one was late term a little girl. That was so difficult I went for my check up and next thing I know I was being induced and we had a graveside funeral for her.
So with Charlyne I didn't even realize I was pregnant till after the first trimester. She was a fairly easy pregnancy hormonally and stuff. And after she arrived I just could barely put her down I couldn't believe we finally had our Baby.
Then I had a miscarriage after her and got pregnant with Jacob. So LOL both my husband and I never went to a restaurant or anything without the kids till this summer. Then his Brother and his g/f, who has a 8 year old daughter, took both kids for the day to a kids party. They had so much fun and at first my husband and I were kinda worried LOL but then I said to him well we can sit here and worry till they get home or we can just relax and really enjoy ourselves. So we enjoyed and the kids have spent the day with them a few times.
There isn't really anyone I trust here to babysit my kids. I do have neighbors next door who we say hi too. She has 5 daughters the oldest is away at college and the youngest I beleive is around 12 or 13 anyway they seem like a very lovely family they just moved in last Sept.
So I have often thought of even just having one of them come over here to play with the kids while I took a nap or even read a book upstairs.
Ok well I might have to start posting in other places since this change thing does a ton of stuff.
Lastly I have to say don't we all just love that facial hair LOL. I'm feeling like I'm getting a five o'clock shadow.
T/C all we can do this our Mom's did
Mimi

Hi Mimi,

I almost felt like I could have written your post, I know so much how you feel. I have three children ages 7, 4 and 2 and lately I have found myself just "losing it" with them. From your description it does sound like some of what you are feeling is peri related but let's face it, taking care of little children day in and day out is HARD, no matter how old you are. It's very hard to get a break without feeling guilty, and if you're feeling guilty you don't exactly enjoy your break! I am really struggling with all this myself. I wish I had some answers for you but just wanted to let you know, I know how you feel and just because you find yourself losing your patience at times does not mean you are not a great mom.

I've been having both physical and emotional symptoms and I really think a lot of it is due to the stress of raising the kids. I don't mean that to sound the way it is--I absolutely love my kids and I love being with them but it can be exhausting and never-ending (and I'm only 37!) It's good that you're going to the octor and I hope you do get some answers there but I heartily second the advice of figuring out some new way to catch a break during the week. Sometimes something new and different goes a long way to relieve the strain. Take care!

You two shouldn't feel its necessary to explain that you're super stressed with the kids/hubby and love them to bits at the same time.

We've all been there.

I have a few weenlings (colts) here. The oldest is my favourite. I named him Trebuchet, but I think he thinks his name is "Put that down right now Tosspot!!"

You want to raise them right, but its not always easy to find the right way to shape behaviour into something acceptable when the individual is either too young to speak English, incapable of it all together, or old enough to speak, not old enough to get logic, but wants to test boundaries, frequently by running into traffic.

Thanks for the input. Yes raising 2 small kids can make anyone "loose it" at times however; lately it has been different. And well my son was a year old oct 31st so he is just a handful. He started walking at 10 months and climbs all over the place. He almost get over the baby gate and the other day he climbed up into the high chair by himself talk about scary.
Anyway today I just had a hot flash well hot then cold flashes. Not really sure because this is just another new symptom hitting me. Anyway it threw me into a panic attack and I just wanted to be alone for 10 or 15 mins to calm down. Now this is where my son is actually easier than my 3 year old daughter, who wants to follow me everywhere. I put my son in the bedroom because there he is safe and althought sometimes he cries when I leave the room I know he is safest there if I have to do something. But my daughter just wouldn't let me alone she had to follow me around the house as I was trying to get though the "flashes" and panic attack. Long story short I called my husband and told him I was having a panic attack and to talk to our daughter because I just wanted to be alone for 5 mins even. So he talked to her and that did seem to help.
Then I figued ok let's just make it through this day as easy as we can so we made popcorn to satisfy my salt cravings and watched kids dvds LOL.
Now tonight I can't sleep it has been one very crazy day for me. However; tonight at dinner and for hours afterwards I actually almost felt normal for the first time in 2 weeks. It was wonderful we had dinner as a family and watched Christmas shows on TV. But when my daughter fought going to bed and woke her brother up who just fell to sleep I lost it again and started yelling. She looked kinda shocked, not that I never yelled at her before, but it was so abrupt usually I think she knows it is going to come.
But she will survive it and she did go to sleep which is what she really needed to do anyway