Has circumstances put anyone in a situation where they are spending to much time along?
Peri makes us want to go into a seclusion/isolation anyway. I not only understand that but at times I wanted left alone. BUT last Sept. my husband I move to the country, OMG what a mistake. To be in a strange state in the sticks doing peri! I rarely leave the house because I can not drive the car by myself and my husband works 10-14 hour days. THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE! I mean I'm going nuts! NUTS!
When we first got here 3 years ago we lived in town and my horse was at boarding stable.
I loved my neighbors and has many opportunity to socialize when and if I wanted to.
BUT there are no opportunity now. I mean I set for days and interact with no one!
AND winter coming! I feel so abandoned, but it's my fault.
Full Version: Spending To Much Time Along?
Hi Snowmoon,
Well, you have a lot of friends here at PS. I know it's not the same as in person, however. So you've lived there three years? Has it always been lonely, or did it just start recently?
The advice about a change in lifestyle like you have had is to give it one full year, but you've done that (and longer).
As far as women wanting seclusion in peri, I think they do to a certain extent, but I know what you mean about needing human company. I think we always have this desire; it's normal, and if we want a lot of seclusion it may indicate depression or some other condition that's worse than peri.
When I was in peri, I was actually MORE anxious for company, until I started to feel better and then I enjoyed being alone. But this is for short periods, not for days on end like you are describing.
Is there any way that you could do something out of your home for people? If I had more time, I'd do home sewing because so many don't know how to make things themselves anymore. I don't mean sewing for you specifically, but what are your hobbies and/or interests and skills? Is there anything you could do to interact with people while staying in your home, and maybe earning some money while you're doing it? I know you said your husband drives, but there must be some activity or past-time that you might enjoy that would help you be in contact with people.
Just some thoughts.....
Well, you have a lot of friends here at PS. I know it's not the same as in person, however. So you've lived there three years? Has it always been lonely, or did it just start recently?
The advice about a change in lifestyle like you have had is to give it one full year, but you've done that (and longer).
As far as women wanting seclusion in peri, I think they do to a certain extent, but I know what you mean about needing human company. I think we always have this desire; it's normal, and if we want a lot of seclusion it may indicate depression or some other condition that's worse than peri.
When I was in peri, I was actually MORE anxious for company, until I started to feel better and then I enjoyed being alone. But this is for short periods, not for days on end like you are describing.
Is there any way that you could do something out of your home for people? If I had more time, I'd do home sewing because so many don't know how to make things themselves anymore. I don't mean sewing for you specifically, but what are your hobbies and/or interests and skills? Is there anything you could do to interact with people while staying in your home, and maybe earning some money while you're doing it? I know you said your husband drives, but there must be some activity or past-time that you might enjoy that would help you be in contact with people.
Just some thoughts.....
I don't think it's anything to do with where you live. It's how people are now.
At my old house, my neighbours would pop in or stand and talk at the gate. I've been here 20 years and don't know the people at the end of my street (well except his name is on the van!). There's only one person in my street of 6 houses who I would want to talk to anyway and I only every see her at the supermarket!!!
I think it's cos old people tend to move away to certain areas. Only old people have that neighbourly spirit nowadays.
At my old house, my neighbours would pop in or stand and talk at the gate. I've been here 20 years and don't know the people at the end of my street (well except his name is on the van!). There's only one person in my street of 6 houses who I would want to talk to anyway and I only every see her at the supermarket!!!
I think it's cos old people tend to move away to certain areas. Only old people have that neighbourly spirit nowadays.
I live in my bedroom when I'm not at work! I can't stand being around people. Going to work is enough people interaction for me, IMHO. if I didn't work, I'd probably be in my house 24/7 and have groceries delivered. I've always been a loner type, but I've gotten worse with peri, for sure.
I can relate to not knowing neighbors, nor even leaving my home except to go to work. At work, I had all the interaction I cared to have with people, and it was a relief to get home.
However, we got a new little puppy last spring. What a joy! We love her so, and my husband is with her all day since he's retired. And you know what? We now have met many dog people in our neighborhood! All we did was start taking our pup for walks, which she loves. And we would meet up with others walking their dogs. It's only natural to stop and compare notes, like what kind of dog do you have, how old, etc. Pretty soon many people knew our puppy, and she now has a lot of dog friends. I have to admit I kind of enjoy meeting other people this way, and some of them are surprisingly pleasant and interesting. I'm not a big people person, but in the course of walking our pup, I met them and it was because we had the dogs in common. I've lived there ten years but would never have known them otherwise.
However, we got a new little puppy last spring. What a joy! We love her so, and my husband is with her all day since he's retired. And you know what? We now have met many dog people in our neighborhood! All we did was start taking our pup for walks, which she loves. And we would meet up with others walking their dogs. It's only natural to stop and compare notes, like what kind of dog do you have, how old, etc. Pretty soon many people knew our puppy, and she now has a lot of dog friends. I have to admit I kind of enjoy meeting other people this way, and some of them are surprisingly pleasant and interesting. I'm not a big people person, but in the course of walking our pup, I met them and it was because we had the dogs in common. I've lived there ten years but would never have known them otherwise.
I never had many close friends but I was always social.
I like it that way!
One day while standing in line to have my driver license renewed, I met a very interesting women (she was 62). She was just such joy to talk too and full of life, she looked and acted like the lady from Food Network>Paula's Home Cooking Show.
As we near the front of the line I thought oh I'm going to hate to see our conversation end.
Then the photograph machine broke and we spend the next hour chatting. That pretty much fills my need to socialize.
I'm Just in a rut ladies!
I like it that way!
One day while standing in line to have my driver license renewed, I met a very interesting women (she was 62). She was just such joy to talk too and full of life, she looked and acted like the lady from Food Network>Paula's Home Cooking Show.
As we near the front of the line I thought oh I'm going to hate to see our conversation end.
Then the photograph machine broke and we spend the next hour chatting. That pretty much fills my need to socialize.
I'm Just in a rut ladies!
QUOTE (Snowmoon56 @ Sep 5 2006, 12:10 PM) 
I never had many close friends but I was always social.
I like it that way!
One day while standing in line to have my driver license renewed, I met a very interesting women (she was 62). She was just such joy to talk too and full of life, she looked and acted like the lady from Food Network>Paula's Home Cooking Show.
As we near the front of the line I thought oh I'm going to hate to see our conversation end.
Then the photograph machine broke and we spend the next hour chatting. That pretty much fills my need to socialize.
I'm Just in a rut ladies!
I like it that way!
One day while standing in line to have my driver license renewed, I met a very interesting women (she was 62). She was just such joy to talk too and full of life, she looked and acted like the lady from Food Network>Paula's Home Cooking Show.
As we near the front of the line I thought oh I'm going to hate to see our conversation end.
Then the photograph machine broke and we spend the next hour chatting. That pretty much fills my need to socialize.
I'm Just in a rut ladies!
Snowmoon, We all get these ruts, and they are the pits. Right now you probably have alot going on and as if the hormones wasnt enough right? What a blessing is was that this lady was there for you just to cheer you up for the day.
We just have to see what lil things we can do to perk us up, sometimes a good song, a long walk, a new perfume or lipstick.
I listen to a Christian radio station and you would be surprsed at how sometimes it looks as if the situation they are talking about was made just for me.
Sometimes just coming here and venting will clear the air.
I do hope you dont stay down to long, do take care of yourself, Tinkybug
I need to work on being more social like you, Snowmoon. Sometimes, especially since I spend a lot of time in hostile traffic situations, driving to work and back, I start to see the whole world as hostile. My husband is much more friendly and will often start a conversation with someone wherever we go. It's a nice thing to do, but I'm usually intent upon my purpose and I don't chat with people easily.
BTW, I'd LOVE to look like Paula! I think she's very attractive. *Sigh*....I look more like Moe from the Three Stoodges....
So top that! LOL
BTW, I'd LOVE to look like Paula! I think she's very attractive. *Sigh*....I look more like Moe from the Three Stoodges....
So top that! LOL
QUOTE (CSugarGrove @ Sep 5 2006, 05:09 PM)
I need to work on being more social like you, Snowmoon. Sometimes, especially since I spend a lot of time in hostile traffic situations, driving to work and back, I start to see the whole world as hostile. My husband is much more friendly and will often start a conversation with someone wherever we go. It's a nice thing to do, but I'm usually intent upon my purpose and I don't chat with people easily.
BTW, I'd LOVE to look like Paula! I think she's very attractive. *Sigh*....I look more like Moe from the Three Stoodges....
So top that! LOL
BTW, I'd LOVE to look like Paula! I think she's very attractive. *Sigh*....I look more like Moe from the Three Stoodges....
So top that! LOL
well sugar... if you are moe then i must be curly!!!! my hair is in the sink..on my clothes... in my food... wont be long until i have none.... except on my upper lip and chin.... oh yeah the ones between my eybrows too!!!!!! oh well.... my new thing is to smile at everyone i pass.... at leat they might think i am nice just by my smile... you dont have to have a big conversation with folks... just smile!!!!!!lol denise
Hey Snowmoon
I have lived in my house for 25 years and there are only 2 couples we are friends with only because our kids were the same age. We don't really socialize much, just dinner once in a while and we have helped each other in different ways over the years. I think we both think of it as a comfort zone and that we could count on each other in an emergency etc.
I also work with all women except for our 2 bosses. We are all friendly with each other at work but don't see each other outside of work. My best friend at work is a 25 year old. We have alot of the same interests.
The people I most want to socialize with and be with is my family. Luckily my parents are both living and very active and my sisters live near by. We go and visit our sons in NC and spend time with them. I also love my cat, he keeps me company when my husband works.
I am not sure what the answer is for you. I am not really a social person either. If you are really going nuts, maybe you could find someone who drives so you could get out. I am not sure if any of your neighbors are around during the day. None of mine are, they all work. People really are not friendly these days. I work with the public and they are all angry at something, in a rush or just rude.
You can always email me when you are feeling lonely..
Kim
I have lived in my house for 25 years and there are only 2 couples we are friends with only because our kids were the same age. We don't really socialize much, just dinner once in a while and we have helped each other in different ways over the years. I think we both think of it as a comfort zone and that we could count on each other in an emergency etc.
I also work with all women except for our 2 bosses. We are all friendly with each other at work but don't see each other outside of work. My best friend at work is a 25 year old. We have alot of the same interests.
The people I most want to socialize with and be with is my family. Luckily my parents are both living and very active and my sisters live near by. We go and visit our sons in NC and spend time with them. I also love my cat, he keeps me company when my husband works.
I am not sure what the answer is for you. I am not really a social person either. If you are really going nuts, maybe you could find someone who drives so you could get out. I am not sure if any of your neighbors are around during the day. None of mine are, they all work. People really are not friendly these days. I work with the public and they are all angry at something, in a rush or just rude.
You can always email me when you are feeling lonely..
Kim
You guys are toooooo funny!
I guess I'm just bored. My life was always full, there was no time to be bored. My Dad is a retired minster, life was fill with church and all the activities that come with that.
Plus there was always the horse world, shows-meetings etc.
Then I moved 3 years ago. Hmmmmmmm
I just don't like it here plus with peri and not feeling well>>I just don't want to start a new life, or that is what my last councilor told me!
But I tried, I join two local horse clubs and for the most part was ignore! Never met people like that!
I told my husband I want to move to a senior community, where we could have great friends and be the kids on the block. BUT most you have to be 55. I'm just comfortable with older people, I love listening to their stories. Soon as I feel better I'll going to the senior center and make some friends!
councilor (counselor)
I guess I'm just bored. My life was always full, there was no time to be bored. My Dad is a retired minster, life was fill with church and all the activities that come with that.
Plus there was always the horse world, shows-meetings etc.
Then I moved 3 years ago. Hmmmmmmm
I just don't like it here plus with peri and not feeling well>>I just don't want to start a new life, or that is what my last councilor told me!
But I tried, I join two local horse clubs and for the most part was ignore! Never met people like that!
I told my husband I want to move to a senior community, where we could have great friends and be the kids on the block. BUT most you have to be 55. I'm just comfortable with older people, I love listening to their stories. Soon as I feel better I'll going to the senior center and make some friends!
councilor
(counselor)
QUOTE (Snowmoon56 @ Sep 5 2006, 05:04 PM)
I told my husband I want to move to a senior community, where we could have great friends and be the kids on the block. BUT most you have to be 55. I'm just comfortable with older people, I love listening to their stories. Soon as I feel better I'll going to the senior center and make some friends!
I want to move to a senior community so bad. They look like an absolute blast!!!
I tell you Gia that is my dream. I saw a home for sale in one and my husband and I did a drive by. The homes where new manufacture home very nice and very affordable. The homes sat around a small lake, it was right before dusk, people where out walking and sitting on their porches. Everyone had beautiful flowers. I can't get that picture out of my head. We even stop and talk to one couple whom was out watering their garden. They where so sweet and said it was always quiet. Then the little old lady ask if we where looking at the home for our parents.
I had to laugh>>>HA!
I had to laugh>>>HA!
QUOTE (Snowmoon56 @ Sep 5 2006, 09:34 AM)
Has circumstances put anyone in a situation where they are spending to much time along?
Peri makes us want to go into a seclusion/isolation anyway. I not only understand that but at times I wanted left alone. BUT last Sept. my husband I move to the country, OMG what a mistake. To be in a strange state in the sticks doing peri! I rarely leave the house because I can not drive the car by myself and my husband works 10-14 hour days. THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE! I mean I'm going nuts! NUTS!
When we first got here 3 years ago we lived in town and my horse was at boarding stable.
I loved my neighbors and has many opportunity to socialize when and if I wanted to.
BUT there are no opportunity now. I mean I set for days and interact with no one!
AND winter coming! I feel so abandoned, but it's my fault.
Peri makes us want to go into a seclusion/isolation anyway. I not only understand that but at times I wanted left alone. BUT last Sept. my husband I move to the country, OMG what a mistake. To be in a strange state in the sticks doing peri! I rarely leave the house because I can not drive the car by myself and my husband works 10-14 hour days. THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE! I mean I'm going nuts! NUTS!
When we first got here 3 years ago we lived in town and my horse was at boarding stable.
I loved my neighbors and has many opportunity to socialize when and if I wanted to.
BUT there are no opportunity now. I mean I set for days and interact with no one!
AND winter coming! I feel so abandoned, but it's my fault.
Snowmoon,
I too moved to the country after hubby died. I didn't know anyone but I had horses and had no choice. I have felt extremely lonely here. That's one of the main reasons I knew I had to get a job.
If you lived near me we could ride together.
I almost picked the same avatar.
Lisa
I've checked my last ten posts. Once again, they either ignore me or I just stop the threads. Well, Denise, at least you wrote something back. Thank you! I was beginning to feel invisible here, too, the way I feel all the time everywhere else.
CSugarGrove,
You are by no means invisible on this board to me! You have been
one POSITIVE influence and always look forward to reading your posts. You are such a caring person!
Jan
You are by no means invisible on this board to me! You have been
one POSITIVE influence and always look forward to reading your posts. You are such a caring person!
Jan
Csugar-
You are not invisible to me either. I would have posted more replies but I am feeling very desperate and negative and don't even know what to post anymore! I think one thing about the board that is frustrating, is that a new post overrides your post on the board, so no one can really find your post unless they really search for it. I wish there was a way to keep our posts more visible, even if other people "override" us with their posts. Our questions would be seen by more people for a longer time.
You are not invisible to me either. I would have posted more replies but I am feeling very desperate and negative and don't even know what to post anymore! I think one thing about the board that is frustrating, is that a new post overrides your post on the board, so no one can really find your post unless they really search for it. I wish there was a way to keep our posts more visible, even if other people "override" us with their posts. Our questions would be seen by more people for a longer time.
Sorry for the intrusion here...I'm new and still trying to find my way around the board. Most fortunately I stumbled across this post, and with the topic being what it is got curious to see what you were talking about.
As I have read I feel it is a topic that describes me some with being alone. I've been much of a loner just about all my life, never really could find that one friend that would give back in friendship and support until this past year....kind of sad huh? On top of that, I met her on the internet and she lives 3000 miles away, what a bummer!!
Anyway, I've noticed in the past year that I have not had the desire to be on the go very much anymore and find I want to be around my home more and more. I do get lonely but, that subsides when hubby comes home from work. I still work a job fultime but they are weird hours. So I do have interaction with others a few days a week. But on my days off now...I just want to hold up in my home, I rarely go anywhere.
I have been wondering for sometime if being in peri has made my want for solitude worse...after reading here, I'm inclined to believe it has!!!!
You ladies sound so wonderful, it's a shame we can't find what we look for in person...why does it seem the people we meet and need the most are now in the little white window of a computer?
Again, sorry for the intursion...
As I have read I feel it is a topic that describes me some with being alone. I've been much of a loner just about all my life, never really could find that one friend that would give back in friendship and support until this past year....kind of sad huh? On top of that, I met her on the internet and she lives 3000 miles away, what a bummer!!
Anyway, I've noticed in the past year that I have not had the desire to be on the go very much anymore and find I want to be around my home more and more. I do get lonely but, that subsides when hubby comes home from work. I still work a job fultime but they are weird hours. So I do have interaction with others a few days a week. But on my days off now...I just want to hold up in my home, I rarely go anywhere.
I have been wondering for sometime if being in peri has made my want for solitude worse...after reading here, I'm inclined to believe it has!!!!
You ladies sound so wonderful, it's a shame we can't find what we look for in person...why does it seem the people we meet and need the most are now in the little white window of a computer?
Again, sorry for the intursion...
Hi Snowmoon,
I spend a lot of time alone too. I am hyper sentive to light, smells, and noise. It started last year. I enjoy being around people and doing things but perfumes and sound really get to me. As for the light, I get occular migraines from bright lights. I no longer go to church, conferences, Bible study groups, plays or to resturants because of this. I only work part time and have a very flexible schedule. I'll be glad when this peri meno phase is over with. I want my old life back. Thankfully, I have some friends who are understanding and I can talk to on the phone. If I have friends over I tell them not to wear perfume. Best of all I have my friends on these forums.
Hi CSugarGrove,
Your not invisible to me. I enjoy reading your input in these forums. Keep posting. I am reading even though I don't respond much.
MaryB26
I spend a lot of time alone too. I am hyper sentive to light, smells, and noise. It started last year. I enjoy being around people and doing things but perfumes and sound really get to me. As for the light, I get occular migraines from bright lights. I no longer go to church, conferences, Bible study groups, plays or to resturants because of this. I only work part time and have a very flexible schedule. I'll be glad when this peri meno phase is over with. I want my old life back. Thankfully, I have some friends who are understanding and I can talk to on the phone. If I have friends over I tell them not to wear perfume. Best of all I have my friends on these forums.
Hi CSugarGrove,
Your not invisible to me. I enjoy reading your input in these forums. Keep posting. I am reading even though I don't respond much.
MaryB26
Hi to all here - I love reading what you all have to say. I too am a 'loner' - I work from home, which I love, however it may not always be the best thing because I do find it hard to socialise. Over the years every group of friends or couples we have drifted away from - we all seem to have such different priorities. I relate to what you have said - especially Sugar about the puppy - my beloved spoodle is sitting beside me as I write - she makes me feel so good. Animals and scenery - so peaceful. Snowmoon - if you really aren't happy after giving it a go where you live can't you perhaps start looking at online real estate and find an alternative which may suit better?
I remember my last trip away in 1999 when I came home I knew I had to move and set about working out what would be my perfect home. Two years later I had rebuilt an old cottage sitting on an acre looking over the hills - I love old architecture, I love nature and I pretty much have found a piece of heaven. Ideally I would like to be even further out on a farm but my kids are in school and my husband needs to be closer to work so this is the best solution.
I too, am drawn to older people - yesterday I helped a dear, sweet gentle old lady by getting something of a high shelf at the supermarket and she looked at me liked I had given her a gift. So many younger people look sideways at you as if to see what you're wearing, and what car you drive - as if that might make you worth talking to. Not everyone mind you, but special people are hard to find.
I really think that is at the root of this subject - not that we want to be alone - but that we have tolerated enough 'bs' over the years and we only want those around us who are an inspiration or who we can connect with. And that's what we are doing here - you are all special to me at this time in my life and I wish I could sit down with you all and talk in person.
Thanks heaps!! Love Vicki
I remember my last trip away in 1999 when I came home I knew I had to move and set about working out what would be my perfect home. Two years later I had rebuilt an old cottage sitting on an acre looking over the hills - I love old architecture, I love nature and I pretty much have found a piece of heaven. Ideally I would like to be even further out on a farm but my kids are in school and my husband needs to be closer to work so this is the best solution.
I too, am drawn to older people - yesterday I helped a dear, sweet gentle old lady by getting something of a high shelf at the supermarket and she looked at me liked I had given her a gift. So many younger people look sideways at you as if to see what you're wearing, and what car you drive - as if that might make you worth talking to. Not everyone mind you, but special people are hard to find.
I really think that is at the root of this subject - not that we want to be alone - but that we have tolerated enough 'bs' over the years and we only want those around us who are an inspiration or who we can connect with. And that's what we are doing here - you are all special to me at this time in my life and I wish I could sit down with you all and talk in person.
Thanks heaps!! Love Vicki
When I read what you ladies post on these boards I feel like you all have a magical psychic ability and know every thing about MY life..... because I can relate to 99% of what you are all going thru.
In the past three years I have managed to cut off all friends. My life is go to work, come home, go to work, come home, etc. On the weekends my husband and I go out to dinner on Saturday night (if I don't freak out and get a panic attack) and on Sunday we go to the grocery store. That is my sad, sad life.
I just can't seem to make the effort to go visit anyone.
When I'm home I usually stay in my bedroom and read or watch some dumb show on TV. My world keeps getting smaller and smaller. I know I'm depressed and I know I have anxiety disorder but it seems I can not muster the strength and determination to get out and socialize (which I know would help the depression).
The old me has disappeared. I don't know how to find that person - sometimes I wonder if she's gone for good.
In the past three years I have managed to cut off all friends. My life is go to work, come home, go to work, come home, etc. On the weekends my husband and I go out to dinner on Saturday night (if I don't freak out and get a panic attack) and on Sunday we go to the grocery store. That is my sad, sad life.
I just can't seem to make the effort to go visit anyone.
When I'm home I usually stay in my bedroom and read or watch some dumb show on TV. My world keeps getting smaller and smaller. I know I'm depressed and I know I have anxiety disorder but it seems I can not muster the strength and determination to get out and socialize (which I know would help the depression).
The old me has disappeared. I don't know how to find that person - sometimes I wonder if she's gone for good.
Hi girls,
Can I join the chat. I moved to the country 19 years ago and still can't get adjusted. Everyone makes long commutes so there is very little interaction. The friends I have made have moved away and the kids have grown. Usually you can make connections through the kids and school. I think its all this hormonal fluctuation that takes us into our interior and creates the loneliness that we feel. I keep trying with church and volunteer activities but everyone seems so distant. I work as a sale rep. so I am in my car lots and have too much time to think. I too would like to move to a 55 plus place but the husband sees that as a prison sentence. All the people I meet are having a blast. Anyone else in the boonies of NJ? Any suggestions out there? Many times I feel like I am looking in a window where everyone is have a good time together but I can't get in. I'd love to chat with you all.
Can I join the chat. I moved to the country 19 years ago and still can't get adjusted. Everyone makes long commutes so there is very little interaction. The friends I have made have moved away and the kids have grown. Usually you can make connections through the kids and school. I think its all this hormonal fluctuation that takes us into our interior and creates the loneliness that we feel. I keep trying with church and volunteer activities but everyone seems so distant. I work as a sale rep. so I am in my car lots and have too much time to think. I too would like to move to a 55 plus place but the husband sees that as a prison sentence. All the people I meet are having a blast. Anyone else in the boonies of NJ? Any suggestions out there? Many times I feel like I am looking in a window where everyone is have a good time together but I can't get in. I'd love to chat with you all.
The only people that understand how it is are in here ~ I don't know anyone that has had a meno like mine cept you ladies. Apparently it doesn't exist outside of cyber space or all the women I know are either ignorant to the facts, 
in denial 
or just bloody unbelievably lucky! 
I feel like a square peg in a round hole if ya know what I mean ~ I just don't fit!
I can only stand the company of the majority for short intervals before I feel the need to flee the situation and retreat back into my newly developed shell. I have become very anti social.
I have been looking for a new place to dwell for 2 years and nothing is working out ~ I don't know what I want anymore and this situation among others is DRIVING ME NUTS!
One minit I am going bush and the next I am gonna get a unit in town then I give up and do nothing ~ procrastinate.
I have no partner and am doing this alone (was married for almost 30 years + 2nd 8 year relationship) I have never lived away from this area but I know longer want to be here. I want to go where no one knows me and reinvent myself ~ the reality of my life is so unacceptable to me that I have decided to change the script.
Hey sugar
in denial or just bloody unbelievably lucky! I feel like a square peg in a round hole if ya know what I mean ~ I just don't fit!
I can only stand the company of the majority for short intervals before I feel the need to flee the situation and retreat back into my newly developed shell. I have become very anti social.
I have been looking for a new place to dwell for 2 years and nothing is working out ~ I don't know what I want anymore and this situation among others is DRIVING ME NUTS!
One minit I am going bush and the next I am gonna get a unit in town then I give up and do nothing ~ procrastinate.
I have no partner and am doing this alone (was married for almost 30 years + 2nd 8 year relationship) I have never lived away from this area but I know longer want to be here. I want to go where no one knows me and reinvent myself ~ the reality of my life is so unacceptable to me that I have decided to change the script.
Hey sugar
I think for me, my problem is that because of the changes and what I feel like inside...I don't want the ones who've know me for a long long time to know that I am really struggling right now. I don't feel comfortable letting my guard down to show how vulnerable I really am at this time in my life. So I don't want to be around anyone for any length of time...its safer that way!
I've always been such a strong person...could handle anything and everything pretty much that got thrown my way. Geesshhh, I've survived being a Navy wife for 5 years when hubby was in the Navy (and we were newlyweds on top of it)...and let me tell you, that was no picnic!!!
Now, I seem to be so damned sensitive about everything...don't like to be stressed...can't keep my thoughts straight (get brain fogged a lot)...
And yes, it seems to be easier to come out here and talk about it...it's easier for me to show you all the ME I am now since you don't know the old me, nothing to compare me to from before.
Does that make sense??
Thus the feeling of always wanting to run away.
I've always been such a strong person...could handle anything and everything pretty much that got thrown my way. Geesshhh, I've survived being a Navy wife for 5 years when hubby was in the Navy (and we were newlyweds on top of it)...and let me tell you, that was no picnic!!!
Now, I seem to be so damned sensitive about everything...don't like to be stressed...can't keep my thoughts straight (get brain fogged a lot)...
And yes, it seems to be easier to come out here and talk about it...it's easier for me to show you all the ME I am now since you don't know the old me, nothing to compare me to from before.
Does that make sense??
Thus the feeling of always wanting to run away.
There are some very insightful responses in this thread. I think for me, I retreat partially due to a little bit of depression. The whole mortality thing becomes real when you hit the 40's and especially going through hormonal changes.
I too am feeling anti-social. I feel like no one really understands what I'm going through. I am afraid my friends will be judgemental towards me and wonder "what's wrong" with me. Right now I have 4 friends who I am on the outs with for whatever reason. One of them was very pushy trying to tell me I need to be on meds, when she doesn't know a thing about peri! The other "friends" I don't know what is up. I am thinking that many of these people are actually "toxic" for me, and are not real friends. That's hard to come to terms with. I am wondering if I might need to start over and make all new friends somehow.
I spend most of my days alone, and with hubby when he's not at work. I love being alone! I don't like any stress at all. Being with people tires me out. I just hope that someday I'll have energy and feel better again, and will become more social again. Right now, I just want to be alone and stay home!
I spend most of my days alone, and with hubby when he's not at work. I love being alone! I don't like any stress at all. Being with people tires me out. I just hope that someday I'll have energy and feel better again, and will become more social again. Right now, I just want to be alone and stay home!
Hi all,
Its great how we have all made a connection. I don't know anyone who is so out of sorts with this peri/menopause. I just came in from work with a mess of stuff to do and feel nothing but doom and gloom. I keep fantascizing how great it would be it I could get out of this place. My husband is worried about moving and me finding myself not too good in the new place. We have lots of empty space around us and its miles to drive to get to a mall or stuff like that. I end up staying home because I talk myself out of the long drives through forest and mountains. It is so good to know that I am not alone in this.
Its great how we have all made a connection. I don't know anyone who is so out of sorts with this peri/menopause. I just came in from work with a mess of stuff to do and feel nothing but doom and gloom. I keep fantascizing how great it would be it I could get out of this place. My husband is worried about moving and me finding myself not too good in the new place. We have lots of empty space around us and its miles to drive to get to a mall or stuff like that. I end up staying home because I talk myself out of the long drives through forest and mountains. It is so good to know that I am not alone in this.
good afternoon girls..... i knmow what the wanting to be alone can feel like... yet at the same time i like knowing that someone is in the other room... they dont even have to be conversing with me... just me knowing they are there cuts down on my anxiety of what if this isnt peri and the docs havent found what it is and i collapse and no one is around... i dont know if any of you do that but i do... it use to be very bad and now its a not so... but still there... i wont even go check the mail without taing the phone wth me.... i would love to find a doc that says yes sweetie you are in peri... then i know about 75% of my anxiety would be gone..... oh how nice that would feel... but being 32 years of age just puts the old... oh honey you are just having anxiety attacks... relax and take birthcontrol pills.... no way!!!! my best friend moved to belgium 15 months ago.... yes we have email conversations but its not the same.... when all this hit me in jan. i really needed someone who would listen.... its hard when no one knows what yu are going through and whne docs dont help then my hubby thinks its all me that has the problem.... i have bought books and left them to where he can read them to understand why i am now who i am....i am 32 but i feel i have lived 100 years sometimes.... i thank god now that i have this site to come to daily and as many times as i want.... you all are my trusted friends now... even though i cant see you... i know you all are there... thanks!!! denise
Hi ladies
Gosh I lost this thread for a while and really enjoyed reading all your posts on this subject. I so wish we could all be together and have a long conversation. I also wonder if we were together if we would be more wary of each other and less likely to share our feelings - perhaps the superficial outer would get in the way? I know one of you mentioned how your friends don't relate to you and others don't seem to experience the same things but perhaps they don't want to let you know they feel so bad - human beings tend to want to show the world how well they're doing, not how they're struggling.
I too have drifted away from my friends - thought because the girls I knew were so into looking thin, young etc., talking about botox and diets - buying great cars and really hitting the social scene. Even though I was invited I used so many excuses not to go and eventually no-one calls me. When I did make the effort to go I felt I couldn't be myself because there was no-one there who seemed remotely like me - or are they all great actors?
I also find women who seem more around my age to be a lot less tolerant - probably like me - and therefore less approachable. Gosh what a strange time!!! It's so much easier to stay home with your pets and your family and your telly!! Maybe we are supposed to be alone at this time to go deeper inside - discover something amazing or just create a 'pause' in our life so we can continue on the other side with all the really important things.
I really appreciate all of your comments and look forward to hearing from you all.
Love Vicki
Gosh I lost this thread for a while and really enjoyed reading all your posts on this subject. I so wish we could all be together and have a long conversation. I also wonder if we were together if we would be more wary of each other and less likely to share our feelings - perhaps the superficial outer would get in the way? I know one of you mentioned how your friends don't relate to you and others don't seem to experience the same things but perhaps they don't want to let you know they feel so bad - human beings tend to want to show the world how well they're doing, not how they're struggling.
I too have drifted away from my friends - thought because the girls I knew were so into looking thin, young etc., talking about botox and diets - buying great cars and really hitting the social scene. Even though I was invited I used so many excuses not to go and eventually no-one calls me. When I did make the effort to go I felt I couldn't be myself because there was no-one there who seemed remotely like me - or are they all great actors?
I also find women who seem more around my age to be a lot less tolerant - probably like me - and therefore less approachable. Gosh what a strange time!!! It's so much easier to stay home with your pets and your family and your telly!! Maybe we are supposed to be alone at this time to go deeper inside - discover something amazing or just create a 'pause' in our life so we can continue on the other side with all the really important things.
I really appreciate all of your comments and look forward to hearing from you all.
Love Vicki
This thread went along without me...how did I miss it? 
As someone said (and I've said before) Snowmoon, the way to meet people (without social events) is to push a baby (getting a grandbaby, so I'll tell you if it still works!) or walk a dog. Now, you've got a horse, surely you couldn't be missed?
By the way it took me about ten years before my current house became a home! Now I wouldn't want to move.
As someone said (and I've said before) Snowmoon, the way to meet people (without social events) is to push a baby (getting a grandbaby, so I'll tell you if it still works!) or walk a dog. Now, you've got a horse, surely you couldn't be missed?
By the way it took me about ten years before my current house became a home! Now I wouldn't want to move.
Where do you live Kathy, in the countryside? It sounds lovely but I appreciate how it must have to be a big deal to do something. Then again, don't you feel thatyou don't want other people round you. I would hate to live in a city, because of the noise. i remember watching Cagney and Lacey, years ago and hearing sirens at night, now our paramedics sound their sirens at night and it irks me no end. In fact I think that mediaeval houses with moats around them, must have been built by menopausal women!
I do agree with Kathy that we think too much, so much so that we convince ourselves that we know what others are thinking, when in reality they might just be deciding what to have for tea or to remember to pay a bill. It really irritates my husband when I tell him what I think he's thinking!
I do agree with Kathy that we think too much, so much so that we convince ourselves that we know what others are thinking, when in reality they might just be deciding what to have for tea or to remember to pay a bill. It really irritates my husband when I tell him what I think he's thinking!
OMG ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!! Mediaeval Menopausal Moats!!!!!!!!!!...... YOU MAKE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD
Hi Everyone,
This is my very first post. I have read your posts and know that you are caring ladies and that is why I feel I can share my experience with all of you.
Last June I finally quit my job of l8 years because the anxiety attacks kept coming and I couldn't function. I thought if I could just stay at home and collect my thoughts without being confronted with the workplace and the politics that goes with it, I would be fine.
Well, the first summer went fine because my son was home with me, but when fall started my anxiety and panic attacks started. I ended up in the emergency room thinking I was dyeing. I couldn't sleep and I would get attacks and it affected my stomach. My body has been going through peri for a couple of years. I still have my periods but they are very light and the mood swings were and still are terrible at times.
Well, in the hospital they gave me ativan and a stomach relaxant and sent me home. I went to my medial doctor later on in the week and he prescribed me lexapro. Needless to say, lexapro makes my head foggy. Ativan is the only thing that helps but I don't want to get hooked on them plus the doctors do not want to give you ativan. They want to push SSRI drugs which in my opinion do not work all that great.
I watch tv alot and had been starting to watch religious programs.
It really helped at first and then all of a sudden I started to get like I had lost faith and would wake up in the middle of the night and would think that I was lost and was dying.
My husband told me that because of the perimenopause I have been going through. That, that was the cause of my feelings of panic and lack of faith because I was losing my ability to bring spirituals beings into the world. I hope this is the case.
I experienced something like this when I had my first child and has post partum depression. I thought too much about my faith and it left me. Has anyone experienced such a thing...
Please tell me that I am not going crazy. And that it will all pass.
I am 48 now and have been experiencing peri for years.
Thanks for listening ladies
Susie
This is my very first post. I have read your posts and know that you are caring ladies and that is why I feel I can share my experience with all of you.
Last June I finally quit my job of l8 years because the anxiety attacks kept coming and I couldn't function. I thought if I could just stay at home and collect my thoughts without being confronted with the workplace and the politics that goes with it, I would be fine.
Well, the first summer went fine because my son was home with me, but when fall started my anxiety and panic attacks started. I ended up in the emergency room thinking I was dyeing. I couldn't sleep and I would get attacks and it affected my stomach. My body has been going through peri for a couple of years. I still have my periods but they are very light and the mood swings were and still are terrible at times.
Well, in the hospital they gave me ativan and a stomach relaxant and sent me home. I went to my medial doctor later on in the week and he prescribed me lexapro. Needless to say, lexapro makes my head foggy. Ativan is the only thing that helps but I don't want to get hooked on them plus the doctors do not want to give you ativan. They want to push SSRI drugs which in my opinion do not work all that great.
I watch tv alot and had been starting to watch religious programs.
It really helped at first and then all of a sudden I started to get like I had lost faith and would wake up in the middle of the night and would think that I was lost and was dying.
My husband told me that because of the perimenopause I have been going through. That, that was the cause of my feelings of panic and lack of faith because I was losing my ability to bring spirituals beings into the world. I hope this is the case.
I experienced something like this when I had my first child and has post partum depression. I thought too much about my faith and it left me. Has anyone experienced such a thing...
Please tell me that I am not going crazy. And that it will all pass.
I am 48 now and have been experiencing peri for years.
Thanks for listening ladies
Susie
QUOTE (Gia_Johnson @ Sep 5 2006, 10:33 AM)
I live in my bedroom when I'm not at work! I can't stand being around people. Going to work is enough people interaction for me, IMHO. if I didn't work, I'd probably be in my house 24/7 and have groceries delivered. I've always been a loner type, but I've gotten worse with peri, for sure.
Oh great,,,I can see that I will soon become a recluse and my family will have to start slipping notes under the bedroom door if they need me. Dang. I have always been a loner too...rather introverted, and I am fine with it. I need my time alone to recharge, being around people has always drained me. I don't know how I'll deal with it if it gets any worse though!!!! Solitary confinement always rather appealed to me in an odd sort of way....
SweetSue,
You are not going crazy and you are not alone. This is a weird time for everyone here, and I just thank Dearest for providing this place where we can all get a reality check.
I've been dealing with betrayal by what I thought was a close friend, and I find that I've withdrawn more and more from people because of trust issues. I don't know how much of it is related to meno and how much is related to fear of getting terribly hurt again.
Onslow mentioned in an earlier post that if we all met in person we might be less willing to share so openly and freely, and I think this is the case, unless we met in a meno support group or another place where it was definitely okay to bring up these issues.
As for losing your faith, I think most of us are having our faith tested at various times as we go through this phase in our lives. I will never lose my faith, but there are days when I certainly question why life has to be this way.
I believe we'll all get through this and be better people when we do, with a stronger, better faith than ever, and a better outlook on life than we ever thought possible.
Hang in there!!!
You are not going crazy and you are not alone. This is a weird time for everyone here, and I just thank Dearest for providing this place where we can all get a reality check.
I've been dealing with betrayal by what I thought was a close friend, and I find that I've withdrawn more and more from people because of trust issues. I don't know how much of it is related to meno and how much is related to fear of getting terribly hurt again.
Onslow mentioned in an earlier post that if we all met in person we might be less willing to share so openly and freely, and I think this is the case, unless we met in a meno support group or another place where it was definitely okay to bring up these issues.
As for losing your faith, I think most of us are having our faith tested at various times as we go through this phase in our lives. I will never lose my faith, but there are days when I certainly question why life has to be this way.
I believe we'll all get through this and be better people when we do, with a stronger, better faith than ever, and a better outlook on life than we ever thought possible.
Hang in there!!!
QUOTE (Mocca15 @ Sep 19 2006, 03:10 PM)
SweetSue,
You are not going crazy and you are not alone. This is a weird time for everyone here, and I just thank Dearest for providing this place where we can all get a reality check.
I've been dealing with betrayal by what I thought was a close friend, and I find that I've withdrawn more and more from people because of trust issues. I don't know how much of it is related to meno and how much is related to fear of getting terribly hurt again.
Onslow mentioned in an earlier post that if we all met in person we might be less willing to share so openly and freely, and I think this is the case, unless we met in a meno support group or another place where it was definitely okay to bring up these issues.
As for losing your faith, I think most of us are having our faith tested at various times as we go through this phase in our lives. I will never lose my faith, but there are days when I certainly question why life has to be this way.
I believe we'll all get through this and be better people when we do, with a stronger, better faith than ever, and a better outlook on life than we ever thought possible.
Hang in there!!!
You are not going crazy and you are not alone. This is a weird time for everyone here, and I just thank Dearest for providing this place where we can all get a reality check.
I've been dealing with betrayal by what I thought was a close friend, and I find that I've withdrawn more and more from people because of trust issues. I don't know how much of it is related to meno and how much is related to fear of getting terribly hurt again.
Onslow mentioned in an earlier post that if we all met in person we might be less willing to share so openly and freely, and I think this is the case, unless we met in a meno support group or another place where it was definitely okay to bring up these issues.
As for losing your faith, I think most of us are having our faith tested at various times as we go through this phase in our lives. I will never lose my faith, but there are days when I certainly question why life has to be this way.
I believe we'll all get through this and be better people when we do, with a stronger, better faith than ever, and a better outlook on life than we ever thought possible.
Hang in there!!!
Hi Mocca15
Thanks for the words of encouragement. It made me feel much better.
I am so glad I found this website and all you wonderful ladies.
Like you, I find this way of communicating very helpful. We can say what we think and get a response that helps us.
God bless you
SweetSue,
You are certainly not alone. I've been through everything you describe. I decided not to quit my job because I didn't want to give in to the panic attacks and anxiety. However, some days to continue are more difficult than others. Don't even ask me to take a business trip LOL!
When the anxiety hits really bad I have tremendous difficulty believing in anything spiritual. I honestly don't know why this happens because when the spike is gone I feel completely different. They say there is a specific part of the brain reserved for spiritual feelings. Perhaps the anxiety or the hormones affect this part of our brain. Whatever it is it sure is scary, but it really is true "this too shall pass" and it does!
You are certainly not alone. I've been through everything you describe. I decided not to quit my job because I didn't want to give in to the panic attacks and anxiety. However, some days to continue are more difficult than others. Don't even ask me to take a business trip LOL!
When the anxiety hits really bad I have tremendous difficulty believing in anything spiritual. I honestly don't know why this happens because when the spike is gone I feel completely different. They say there is a specific part of the brain reserved for spiritual feelings. Perhaps the anxiety or the hormones affect this part of our brain. Whatever it is it sure is scary, but it really is true "this too shall pass" and it does!
All your posts hit a chord with me! Wish I had the brain cells to answer everyone!
We are surely soul mates on this journey!
I feel it wouldn't matter where I lived, or what opportunities I would have to do things, I would not be happy. I'm sitting in my peri ditch>> I can't or won't get out! I don't like it, but have no will power to do anything about it! I have NO determination to fix anything. Peri has broken my SPIRT!
We are surely soul mates on this journey!
I feel it wouldn't matter where I lived, or what opportunities I would have to do things, I would not be happy. I'm sitting in my peri ditch>> I can't or won't get out! I don't like it, but have no will power to do anything about it! I have NO determination to fix anything. Peri has broken my SPIRT!
Sue, and you other ladies on this less-than-stellar roller coaster ride,
"Crazy" is a relative term
Hormones certainly affect how you think. When I am depressed, my attitude toward everything is completely different from when I am in a better mood.
I recently quit one of my jobs and expected to feel great. Instead, I felt panicky that I had too much time, which is ridiculous as I have another demanding job and four homeschooled kids. I think it was mild depression talking (depression always lies)
But I don't do well with being alone too much. I crave it, but then I feel weird when I actually get my wish.
I am a happier person when I am out working, but it is very hard to get myself out, and the transition from home to classroom is tough.
Depression has a nasty way of fooling you about all kinds of things, especially faith. You will get through this. Are there any groups or any people you can hang out with? It's hard for me to make the effort of being social, but when I go to my bible study group I feel like a new person.
We all say it, but...HOW can doctors be so clueless??? Hmmm maybe I can talk one of my daughters into going into women's medicine... (fat chance)
My sympathies are with you. Hope you can find some safe, pleasant activities to take you outside of yourself. and if drugs help, do what it takes to make life work! Best of luck...
"Crazy" is a relative term
Hormones certainly affect how you think. When I am depressed, my attitude toward everything is completely different from when I am in a better mood.
I recently quit one of my jobs and expected to feel great. Instead, I felt panicky that I had too much time, which is ridiculous as I have another demanding job and four homeschooled kids. I think it was mild depression talking (depression always lies)
But I don't do well with being alone too much. I crave it, but then I feel weird when I actually get my wish.
I am a happier person when I am out working, but it is very hard to get myself out, and the transition from home to classroom is tough.
Depression has a nasty way of fooling you about all kinds of things, especially faith. You will get through this. Are there any groups or any people you can hang out with? It's hard for me to make the effort of being social, but when I go to my bible study group I feel like a new person.
We all say it, but...HOW can doctors be so clueless??? Hmmm maybe I can talk one of my daughters into going into women's medicine... (fat chance)
My sympathies are with you. Hope you can find some safe, pleasant activities to take you outside of yourself. and if drugs help, do what it takes to make life work! Best of luck...
Hello Girls This topic caught my eye. I've been a loner most of my life, other than with my family I don't go out much. I do shop and enjoy eating out. My town is very small, a population of only 296! I'm a country girl, the river, the woods, my pets, and family pretty much make up my life. I'm friendly to people, just didn't ever think I had to much to add to conversations. I have low self-esteem issues. I've read just about every book there is on fixing that, but no luck so far!
Being a loner is extra hard when I married a man who loves to socialize (opposites attract they say?) In our early years it was quite an issue, but not so much anymore.
I can't seem to concentrate on anything spiritual during this peri-mess. I'm not just a loner, I feel alone most of the time. I'm sure God probably understands all of us meno-pausers but sometimes I ask "where are you God" I know it's all a part of this tough journey we're all on. It seems hard to concentrate on anything..I'm really forcing myself these days to move, to get interested in something, anything!!!
Today, I took the dog for a walk, and somedays thats a chore, it's kinda like one step at a time for me.... but I still have the right mind to know that my pets need me, my family needs me, and my attitude affects each of them. Blessings to each of you on this bumpy ride. We are all so alike, I'm grateful I found PS!
~Fin~
This topic caught my eye. I've been a loner most of my life, other than with my family I don't go out much. I do shop and enjoy eating out. My town is very small, a population of only 296! I'm a country girl, the river, the woods, my pets, and family pretty much make up my life. I'm friendly to people, just didn't ever think I had to much to add to conversations. I have low self-esteem issues. I've read just about every book there is on fixing that, but no luck so far! Being a loner is extra hard when I married a man who loves to socialize (opposites attract they say?) In our early years it was quite an issue, but not so much anymore.
I can't seem to concentrate on anything spiritual during this peri-mess. I'm not just a loner, I feel alone most of the time. I'm sure God probably understands all of us meno-pausers but sometimes I ask "where are you God" I know it's all a part of this tough journey we're all on. It seems hard to concentrate on anything..I'm really forcing myself these days to move, to get interested in something, anything!!!
Today, I took the dog for a walk, and somedays thats a chore, it's kinda like one step at a time for me.... but I still have the right mind to know that my pets need me, my family needs me, and my attitude affects each of them. Blessings to each of you on this bumpy ride. We are all so alike, I'm grateful I found PS!
~Fin~
Sweetsue,
First of all let me welcome you...I'm so glad you found your way here. It's so comforting to know we do not face this "journey" alone.
It's such a comfort to read, and know others have the same symptoms. Not only that... but, they are willing to share their own personal symptoms and reply with healing thoughts and suggestions.
Like you...my worst symptoms were anxiety, panic, and depression. Not the only one's mind you...but, the worst.
(I've also experienced health anxiety, to intolerable degrees, thinking I was dying due to a medical condition).
Guess what ? I'm still here.
I fought medication...tooth and nail, for over a year.
Now, I take the smallest "half dose" of xanax at night when I have trouble sleeping...or the stress of the day has been a bit much.
In the beginning I was taking the xanax 3 times a day as needed.
Also, take Lexapro... 10 mg. a day. My head was foggy, had more anxiety for about a month and a half until the medicine really kicked in.
Then, I began to notice...I didn't need the xanax during the day, even the fogginess began to lift...the depression gone.
You didn't mention the dose you are taking, or for how long...could be you might need an adjustment...so talk to your doctor.
In time you will be able to lessen your need for ativan, you do not sound like someone with an addictive personality.
In fact most people who take these type of medicines...tend to take less than prescribed.
Along with these medications...I've also found exercise and a change in diet most helpful.
Walks out side in the fresh air and sunshine...
You will find much information on PS, concerning diet and exercise.
For me, stress... brings my symptoms back to the surface so I "try" and limit my "battles". I say "no" more often.
My breathing is more deep, take more bubble bath, read, garden, listen to soothing music, more patterned...up in the mornings and to bed around the same time.
Taking better care of me...so I'm more prepared for the stressful times.
As for faith... you never lose it.
The Word of God, says....
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
Another that helped me through... "Footprints in the Sand".
My precious, precious child, "I Love you and I would never leave you"! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
Like you...my faith was questioned.
He's with you...
Yep
First of all let me welcome you...I'm so glad you found your way here. It's so comforting to know we do not face this "journey" alone.
It's such a comfort to read, and know others have the same symptoms. Not only that... but, they are willing to share their own personal symptoms and reply with healing thoughts and suggestions.
Like you...my worst symptoms were anxiety, panic, and depression. Not the only one's mind you...but, the worst.
(I've also experienced health anxiety, to intolerable degrees, thinking I was dying due to a medical condition).
Guess what ? I'm still here.
I fought medication...tooth and nail, for over a year.
Now, I take the smallest "half dose" of xanax at night when I have trouble sleeping...or the stress of the day has been a bit much.
In the beginning I was taking the xanax 3 times a day as needed.
Also, take Lexapro... 10 mg. a day. My head was foggy, had more anxiety for about a month and a half until the medicine really kicked in.
Then, I began to notice...I didn't need the xanax during the day, even the fogginess began to lift...the depression gone.
You didn't mention the dose you are taking, or for how long...could be you might need an adjustment...so talk to your doctor.
In time you will be able to lessen your need for ativan, you do not sound like someone with an addictive personality.
In fact most people who take these type of medicines...tend to take less than prescribed.
Along with these medications...I've also found exercise and a change in diet most helpful.
Walks out side in the fresh air and sunshine...
You will find much information on PS, concerning diet and exercise.
For me, stress... brings my symptoms back to the surface so I "try" and limit my "battles". I say "no" more often.
My breathing is more deep, take more bubble bath, read, garden, listen to soothing music, more patterned...up in the mornings and to bed around the same time.
Taking better care of me...so I'm more prepared for the stressful times.
As for faith... you never lose it.
The Word of God, says....
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
Another that helped me through... "Footprints in the Sand".
My precious, precious child, "I Love you and I would never leave you"! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
Like you...my faith was questioned.
He's with you...
Yep
Dear Sweet Ladies,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I am so very glad that I found this safe haven and that I have found such a wonderful group of women to share my deepest, darkness moments with.
All of your posts helped me so very much.
It is so very hard to feel like we do. To feel that I am so out of control of my emotions and my feelings and beliefs.
But because of your posts I have a new outlook. At least I can come here and find people who understand how I feel and think.
Love to all of you
Susie
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I am so very glad that I found this safe haven and that I have found such a wonderful group of women to share my deepest, darkness moments with.
All of your posts helped me so very much.
It is so very hard to feel like we do. To feel that I am so out of control of my emotions and my feelings and beliefs.
But because of your posts I have a new outlook. At least I can come here and find people who understand how I feel and think.
Love to all of you
Susie
Is this thread still going? (Yes, as someone noted above, it's hard to find posts by certain people once someone else adds to the thread.)
I only want to be alone now. Down this peri hole I find I have lost all of my interests. I don't want to talk to anyone, and I'm sure as heck they wouldn't want to talk to me after they did for five minutes.
I thought your 50s were the new 30s and that you're supposed to be having the time of your life --parties, plays, fabulous things.
I was GREAT till peri. My life changed over night. I'm sure many of you can relate.
I do have a job that I've taken temporary leave of. If I only knew what "temporary" meant! I had NO idea what was happening. And now I have no idea what will happen.
My mother is 80. She has 100 x my energy and she never had a peri or meno like this.
I don't know what the heck I'm going to do I feel so bad (adrenal rushes at night, no sleep; agoraphobia -- I nearly had a melt down in the grocery store about a month ago).
How do some women do it? I guess they're lucky and they are the ones who remain visible. While we 1 out of 4 live in our caves. My poor husband. He doesn't deserve this.
Nevermore
I only want to be alone now. Down this peri hole I find I have lost all of my interests. I don't want to talk to anyone, and I'm sure as heck they wouldn't want to talk to me after they did for five minutes.
I thought your 50s were the new 30s and that you're supposed to be having the time of your life --parties, plays, fabulous things.
I was GREAT till peri. My life changed over night. I'm sure many of you can relate.
I do have a job that I've taken temporary leave of. If I only knew what "temporary" meant! I had NO idea what was happening. And now I have no idea what will happen.
My mother is 80. She has 100 x my energy and she never had a peri or meno like this.
I don't know what the heck I'm going to do I feel so bad (adrenal rushes at night, no sleep; agoraphobia -- I nearly had a melt down in the grocery store about a month ago).
How do some women do it? I guess they're lucky and they are the ones who remain visible. While we 1 out of 4 live in our caves. My poor husband. He doesn't deserve this.
Nevermore
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