I'm new here and have been reading all the messages - I just can't believe that other women have been experiencing all same the hellish symptoms that I have been going thru (off and on) for the past nine years.

I was diagnosed with Meneire's disease 8 years ago and my quality of life has gone to hell since then. Meneire's disease causes dizziness, imbalance and vertigo.

Right after that disease hit me I started getting anxiety attacks - except I didn't know they were anxiety attacks. My doctor told I was having "gall bladder attacks".

To make a long story short - I am just so, so tired of being sick. I have heart palpatations and chest pains. I have constant ear infections and sinus infections. I am constipated all the time (even if I eat a ton of fruit and veggies). The anxiety attacks have now increased in intensity and duration to the point that I dread waking up each morning. A month ago I ended up in the emergency room with a heart rate of 140 - the doctors had to put an oxygen mask on me to get my breathing going. I was given an IV with ativan to calm me. It was the worst panic attack I've ever had.

I think I have now developed a full blown case of agorophobia - I do not want to leave my house. I'm afraid I'll pass out somewhere. The only place I drive is to work and back (three miles away - I take back streets). If I'm in a lot traffic I get so scared and so sick I almost faint. I'm scared that I'm going to pass out at the wheel and cause a terrible accident.

Every morning my mind races with horrible thoughts that I can't control - I worry about EVERYTHING. My hands shake and sometimes I have to lie down with a cold wash cloth on my head before I can get myself dressed...and even then I can barely hold it together long enough to get my clothes on.

My life has become a nightmare. I'm scared to leave my home and yet staying here cooped up has made me feel like my brain has turned to mush. I feel like my brain is in a fog.

I used to be a happy person. I had hobbies and friends. I've lost interest in my hobbies and I have quit seeing my friends. My mind is making me sick and I seem powerless to stop it. I'm 56 years old and haven't had a period in four years. When does this stop? Will I ever ever be myself again. Will I ever experience joy again?

As I read back over this post I hate it that I sound like a whining harpie - but it's the way I feel - lost and hopeless.

Anyway, I'm glad I found this site. I guess misery really does love company.

Gwenevera - I know that morning anxiety problem sooo well. I developed the anxiety really badly 18 months ago & just getting myself dressed was exhausting. I used to lie on the bed for 5 minutes in between every piece of clothing. Then I had to get the kids dressed for schol & I used to go to the hall & call out to them instruction by repeated instruction what to do next (get dressed please, clean teeth please) and lie down in between. I found baby steps was the only way to cope. Try & recognise short times (even if it's only 30 seconds) that you don't feel quite so bad & rejoice in those moments of release. Take tiny steps to get a task done. (I wouldn't drive or go shopping but I built up to it gradually)

The things which helped it settle down for me were acupuncture, Claire Weekes book teaching me not to fear the fear itself as it can't kill me and taking a busy vacation trip (Disney actually). It was soo hard to get on that plane. I was going to cancel right up to a week before. I had gastritis too and didn't have a clue what I was going to eat as my diet had gone down to about 10 foods that didn't hurt - there was no guarantee I could get them out there. I do still get the anxiety badly some mornings but I cope better now. My panic attacks used to be really frequent too but they seem to be less so now that the general anxiety has improved. The gastritis also improved at the same time. What's a shame is I didn't realise at the time that I was in Peri.

My latest battle is the palps! About 4 months ago I also developed palps and I know how scary they are. I have been checked out and heart is fine - now I need to just work out how to come to terms with them! Then i discoved PS & that I was in peri. Huge Huge Huge relief!!!I still have Health Anxiety which I see as a totally different anxiety to the general sort I had before. Health anxiety is about worrying about specific medical problems that I don't actually have. It is hard to get these thoughts out of my mind so I do understand the all-day worrying that you are suffering from. I worry about my kids, hubby, mother too & it is soo hard to switch off!

I hope you get through this soon & that some of the methods that helped me might do the same for you.



Sorry Gwenhuvera - I misspelt your name!!

Hello, my dear Gwenhuvera. Your post draws me in and pulls upon my heart. I want you to know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that all of this passes. I absolutely promise you this. If you will read my other posts, as well as posts from other wonderful, loving ladies here, you will see that you are not alone.

I plan on posting later on this weekend with some very positive experiences I have just had, and I will also write more to you.

God Bless you and don't leave us - we will surround you with hope.

Many hugs, Belinda

Hi Gwenhuvera

I really can sympathise with you , the panic attacks and anxiety are the worst thing for me too! It scared me silly when I woke up one day and had all these weird, irrational thoughts which frightened me soooooooooo much . I thought I was definatley going mad ! I just couldn't understand why peri would have this effect on my mind ........but reading all the other posts you get to understand that peri does do the craziest things to your body and mind,luckily because you know you are not alone in this it does help. I am now on beta blockers to calm down my palps which do seem to help and I have read Claire Weeks' book which is really helpful too.

I think you just have to try and stay calm , try to think rationally and believe that you can overcome this, unfortunatly I still suffer , but I do understand that it will pass eventually so I just go with it . Peri is a weird party , and we didn't ask to be invited but now we are here try to survive as best we can .

Take care

Thanks to all of you for your kind responses. I'm 56 years old and haven't had a period for years. I was hoping all this was behind me but these past few weeks and have taken a real toll on me. Today (Sunday) was the worst day I've had in over a week. It seems like I take 4 steps foward and 3 steps back.

This mental anguish is pure hell. I understand at last why people kill themselves. I was so glib before when I read of someone's suicide - why didn't that person see that their problem was only temporary, blah, blah, blah. Now I know that when you are livng with anxiety that takes you to the point of insanity and despair that clouds your life - well, the pain is almost unbearable.

It is a great comfort to know that I am not alone in this. Thank God I found you all. I appreciate your kindness and pray that someday we will all be thru this darkness that has taken over our lives.

I was reading some of the posts and thinking I shouldn't feel sorry for myself because I'm not having it as bad as some of you, but then I had ANOTHER thought!! I am 50 and more than likely it is going to get much worse before it gets better! Oh, NO! Guess I won't think about that - maybe I'll do a Scarlett and think about it tomorrow so I won't run screaming into the night! lol

I was reading some of the posts and thinking I shouldn't feel sorry for myself because I'm not having it as bad as some of you, but then I had ANOTHER thought!! I am 50 and more than likely it is going to get much worse before it gets better! Oh, NO! Guess I won't think about that - maybe I'll do a Scarlett and think about it tomorrow so I won't run screaming into the night! lol

Oops didn't mean to post that twice!

Hi Ladies,

I too have horrible, awful anxiety. Just today I left work because if of it. I suffer from dizziness which comes from my migraines but also anxiety. I was at work and felt like I was going to get dizzy and told my boss I didn't feel well and just about ran out the door. As I was getting in my car it hit me that I felt alright.
I too am getting more and more afraid to leave my house. And I cry a lot during the day and some night go to bed just to cry. I don't go out like I used to or work in my yard. And forget about cleaningl. It takes everything I have to cook and get laundry done. I also used to love to decorate for the different seasons and holidays and I haven't done that for I guess 2 years now. I hate myself and my life. I just want each day to be done and go on to the next so that maybe one day I will wake up and this will be gone. I am wishing my life away.
You know I worry so much that this isn't menopause and I will be like this the rest of my life because I have suffered from anxiety since I was a young adult. I just don't want to feel this way anymorel. I want to be happy at least sometimes. I also want to feel calm and at peace. But my prayer for that isn't coming true. I feel God has answered some of my prayers but not this one.
I see other people espcially women who have it all together and wish so much I was like them. It just makes me sad.

Thanks for reading,
Deb

Deb-

I feel exactly as you do. This anxiety hit me last year and hasn't left. Now I am quite sure I'm depressed as well. You certainly sound that way too.

I have considered that this is hormonal, and tried things to no avail. I tried one AD and take xanax. The AD didn't work so I gave up on it. Now I'm thinking of trying again.

You manage to go to a job, so I look at you as you look at other women. I wonder how anyone can get through a workday like this.

I too have considered this isn't totally menopausal (or peri).
It seems so many women on this site at least talk about some good days.

It seems to me that at some point, we have to admit that we are suffering depression and anxiety. I can't believe menopause or peri was meant to bring us this low. Like you, I can't wait for each day to be over - we should be enjoying life, not enduring it.

I don't know the answer Deb. For me, it is unacceptable to continue suffering in the hopes that the end of meno will come and bring with it relief. That could be a long time.

I am at a crossroads now trying to figure out what to do. After a year of suffering, I am exhausted but unwilling to accept this theft of my life. Please keep posting and feel free to post me anytime.
I completely understand how you feel. I too feel so sad about this. Who wouldn't cry when you feel so awful every day.

I keep reading that this all passes if its hormones. There is a sort of comfort to that, but of course we don't know what our situation
will be.

If you were anxious when you were younger, hormonal upheaval can make it worse. Have you tried anything?

Hi Deb

Just reading your post made me want to reply. What you have written about how you are suffering from anxiety and how it is affecting everything in your life.....well, this was and still is, me too. I am in menopause now (sorry to say...but still suffering with a variety of problems). I too, went through hell and back in peri-menopause. I lost interest in many of my hobbies. I spent about 20 years landscaping and decorating our yard...and in the last couple of years have done the bare minimum...i mean, bare minimum ...to upkeep the yard. Years ago I would start from seeds approx.20-30 flats of flowers, about 15 hanging baskets, as well as plant evergreens and perennials. This year I bought a handfull of flowers just to do a few pots and that was it. I have totally lost interest in something I loved to do...and it scared me big time. I also decorated everything in sight, inside and outside the house at Christmas time...but in the last few years I have not done my usual decorating,..put up a very small tree last year and that was it. Could not even bother to do any shopping for presents. This also scared me big time.
I talked to my counsellor about my lose of interest in all of my hobbies and she said don't worry about it...you will eventually get your interest back, or you may have new interests. She said don't worry about it...it is just a phase.

I also had brutal scary panic attacks ...still do..(also have had, like you since I was young). I have managed to survive...sometime it feels like I am just hanging on by my fingertips...but I have survived and am here to tell you that you will survive this nightmare. What has helped me is yoga, breathing exercises, prayer and Rescue Remedy, and reading power surge. It shows me that they are countless women suffering like us.

Hang in there...it will pass.

How do you use your rescue remedy? i did try a couple of drops under my tongue but i dont think it did anything.i read on here that someone said they put it in everything that they drank. and will it interact with anything?

maxxy, you have really capture how I feel. I just feel so lost and alone! I have lost interest in everything!
nothing brings me joy!

Thanks for reminding me about the rescue remedy, haven't used it in awhile but giving it a try again>> right now.

sudio1 the bottle said to use 4 drops in a small glass of water as needed. I can smell the alcohol and it does have a slight taste. BUT let me tell you, I am the queen of side effects and I have never had any problems using it. I also sometime use ativan.

My anxiety is out of control!
I am spiraling into a dark pit!

Hi all,

Just wanted to tell you that Rescue Remedy also comes in a spray like Binaca. Its very easy to use that way. I keep a bottle in the car, at my bedside and in my pocket book. It does take the edge off. There are lots of other Bach Remedies. As for the drops, you just have to put them in a glass of water and drink. The flower extracts are made with brandy hence the alcohol. Kind of like the way we get vanilla extract. I'm on to the pharmaceuticals at this point as the Rescue Remedy is just a stop gap. My Dr. prescribed Ativan during the day and Lunesta for sleep. Tonight is my first night that I take the Lunesta. I'm hoping it turns off all of the demons at night. Take care all and remember we are all in it together.

I put 4 drops directly under my tongue and usually notice that in about 20 minutes life isn't as bad as I thought. I also have stashes all over, in my purse, by my bedside, in my desk. I keep it handy because it does take the edge off anxiety. I use it with my alternate nostril breathing exercise which also helps calm me down. I use it every time I feel depressed or anxious...but if you suffer from those dreaded attacks, you know when it is just going to be a small attack or a humdinger that knocks you off your rocker and you think you will not survive another one. When a BIG one hits, I have Ativan to take care of it. I have a small bottle that I guard with my life in my purse with 4 pills that my Dr. gave me to use when the big one hits. Thankfully, the Rescue Remedy is all I have needed for a few weeks. I have tried the spray but decided that I prefer the drops.
I have been using it for years and have never had trouble with it re-acting with anything.

If you are interested in the alternate nostril breathing exercise just Google it and you should find many yoga sites that give directions on how to do the very simple but effective exercise.

Take care.

Hi Gwen

Have you tried going to a clinical ecologist to see if any of your issues can be sorted out with your diet?

Mele

Hi All,

My peri started with anxiety. I didn't realize it at the time and it is only in retrospect that I KNOW that this is when my peri started. That being said.....

Now, the good news.....It took almost a year but through a combination of things and one really BIG enlightenment moment, I BEAT the anxiety and panic attacks. Please bear with me as I believe I have some really good information to share that will help!

When the anxiety hit the panic attacks were so bad I couldn't leave my house, not even to go to my mailbox. I shook and trembled constantly, I developed IBS and couldn't eat. As a result I lost almost 20 lbs in two months time(not a good thing when you only weigh 110 lbs to begin with. It got so bad I contemplated suicide! I made many trips to the emergency room with chest pains, hyperventilation, couldn't breath, lump in my throat etc. I given a presciption for Ativan and Paxil (which I didn't take as I was "scared" of taking drugs). Eventually, I became depressed as well.

I was just so miserable I did not want to live. But, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my children with the legacy of a mom who killed herself. Thus, I decided that I HAD to find a way to "get better".

I researched on the internet and the panic/anxiety sites. I ordered somewhere around 20 books on the subject including Claire Weeks books. I ordered her tapes as well. I also bought the
"Attacking Anxiety & Depression" program. It comes with a workbook and tapes. I bought the Charles Linden anxiety cd's. I tried lots of herbs, Bach's Rescue Remedy, valerian, GABA, inositol, calcium/magnesium, the B vitamins, etc. While all these helped a little I still had the panic attacks and the constant anxiety. It wasn't until I found a website written by a guy named Joe Barry called "Panic Away" that the turning point occurred. THIS is what I want to share with you all in hopes that it will help you too!!

This method requires you to actually "welcome" the panic attack, saying, "Bring it on!" Okay, okay I know what you are thinking....bring it on, what are you crazy? I figured I didn't have anything to lose. I wanted to die anyway.

So, with this method you have to actually "embrace" the panic. I got really good at this saying things (silently in my head) like..."okay panic do your best, give me everything you got." IT WORKED!!!!

You see what I discovered is that with panic you feel so out of control. The more you try to "escape" it the more you bring it on. The key is NOT to fight it. Let it come, encourage it, accept the physical feelings that accompany it. Then ask for MORE. Say things like..."is this all you can do?"

I know this sounds CRAZY. But, it works. Once you stop fighting "it", "it" loses its power. When you use the adrenaline surges that are part and parcel of anxiety/panic, you will start to relax. It is all the excess adrenaline that causes anxiety to become panic. It is caused by hyperventilation, which in turn causes the physical symptoms. Everything from having to run to the bathroom every two minutes to thinking you are losing your mind. And, yes it can also cause constipation. The list of physical symptoms caused by anxiety is huge. And, you probably don't even realize you are hyperventilating. Just a fleeting thought can cause us to start shallow breathing. When you challenge the panic, you begin ro regain control of your breathing.

I can not emphasize enough that proper breathing is essential throughout this. It goes hand in hand with the above technique. You have to breath from your diaphram and not from your upper chest. The upper chest breathing can start the cycle of physical symptoms. When we upper chest breath, we breath more shallow. Shallow breathing causes us to have too much carbon dioxide, this causes an alarm to go off in in area of our brains (the amylgada to be exact), which in turns tells our body we are being deprived of oxygen. That causes our bodies to panic. Also, when we increase the carbon dioxide in our blood this causes the dizziness, shakiness, legs feel like spaghetti, nausea, loss of appetite, bowel problems, heart palps etc.

The above technique works. I promise. I got so good at "talking" to "it", that I found myself laughing out loud at the thoughts in my head. Then it occurred to me that I hadn't heard myself laugh in long time.

Once I got really good at "talking" to "it", I started taking little steps...first just getting in my car and sitting there...then driving around the block...then to the grocery store,etc. Finally, when I was convinced that this reallllllyyyy works, I agreed to have coffee at a local cafe with a friend. Guess what? I had a major panic attack!!! My first reaction was to run to my car and get home, fast. BUT, I didn't, I stayed it out, challenged "it" and I WON! That is the day I took my life back from the panic monster.

Now, don't misunderstand, I am not saying you won't have anxiety, EVERYONE has anxiety, daily. I am also not saying that you won't have moments when it feels like "it" is rearing it's ugly head. But, when this does happen YOU have the tools to control it and not the other way around!!!!

I really hope this helps anyone reading it. It TRULY does work.

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} to everyone!

Susan

WOW ! ! !

What a testimony...how long did it take for you to notice a difference, in the anxiety and panic?
Did you also notice a difference with your depression?

I might have a bit of a problem "welcoming" the panic.
Most of the time, I just want to hide...and hope it doesn't find me.


Yep

Hi Yep,

The difference was in small increments, until I had the episode at the cafe. That was when I KNEW I had beaten it. But, even though it was a gradual process, I could catch (to phrase Claire Weeks) glimpses of being "better".

I had a problem at first with the "welcoming" part. But, it really does work. I laugh at myself now, thinking back when I first started to practice the method. Saying things like..."Come on, bring it on, is that all you got? "

Honestly, it does work. Now, when I feel anxiety creeping up or those familiar physical panic symptoms, I stop, check my breathing (very often just this alone stops it in it's tracks) and know that it will only escalate if I let it. I have had quite a few crises in the last two months that in the past would have left me very panicky. I got through all it with some anxiety (which was to be expected under the circumstances) and some minor physical symptoms ie fleeting nausea and adrenaline surges.

As for the depression, it lifted as the panic faded. I have some minor degree of depression that is peri related, but it doesn't stay long and I don't think I can really call it depression. These days it is more like melancholy.

You really have nothing to lose if you are suffering on a daily or regular basis as I was.

Hope this helps.

Hugs, Susan

I'll google it and check it out... thanks for sharing your sucess.

Yep

MamaMia, thanks for a very enlightening post. I suffered bad anxiety up to a year ago, and since then I have some mild bouts. I will certainly use your suggestion -- in fact, I welcome anxiety to come looking for me -- then watch out!

This reminds me a bit of something else I'm going through right now -- lots of hot flashes. A couple of weeks ago, I realized they weren't going away, so I decided to accept them. I even talk to them, like you did to your anxiety, telling them, "okay here you are again... do your thing while I stand in front of this fan." I find the hot flashes less uncomfortable than I do when I despair over them.

Thanks again for a very informative post, Susan!

RedFox

Hi Redfox,

I think I will try acceptance with the flashes. Hmmm, I wonder if it would work for the migraines? By far the worst symptom for me. I never thought about just accepting them.

Hugs,
Susan

I have had panic disorder since I can remember and have dealt with it all these years various ways, white knucked, withSSRI and mostly with Xanax. The last few years however since turning around 45 now I'm 49, I have also been having the feelings of unreality really bad lately. I feel so disconected, I know this is just a symptom of anxiety, but it still scares the hell out of me. My gyno gave me low dose birth control pills on wednesday, can't tell yet if they will help. She said I am not ovulating according to my tests but I am having heavy bleeding sometimes 2x a month, hotflashes and anxiety and total fatigue, Anyone else have any experience with this. I would greatly appreciate any feedback, suffering....

Can you decribe the 'unreality" feelings to me? ive read alot of posts about it but im not sure exactly what you mean. i have horrible anxiety and panic attacks are hitting me more often lately and im dizzy soooo much. i feel like im in a constant battle with my mind and body and im exausted by it. i do feel tired all day long even tho i sleep 9 hrs a night(with the help of ambien). it is so hard and scary.

It feels like you are watching yourself do things..I know it sounds crazy but it feels like you are not real. I am doing all the things I usually do, work, clean, interact with people, but I feel like I,m not real. Strange feeling. My doctor tells me it is a symtom of Anxiety. Tired mind as Claire Weekes calls it. But it is so frightning to me.

I get this feeling too...it's really scary. My ex hubby, the shrink calls it 'de-personalization'...and I agree, it's like you are outside of yourself, watching yourself. Except it doesn't feel right, and it's really frightening. This feeling oftens precedes a full blown panic attack.

I too, am taking low dose birth control pills (progesterone) but I can't tell if they are helping or not. I think they are not.

How long have you been on the low dose bc pill? I just started with Loestrin on Wednesday, hopefully it will help some, I also hope it will help with hot flashes and bleeding all the time. It is good to know we are not alone in all of this. the de-personalization feeling to me is worse than any other symptom I have. It comes and goes. sometimes I don't have it for months and then I will feel it almost contantly for a couple of weeks, really weird..

Guys,

I have ben getting that detached feeling for the last 5 years, ever since I developed migraines. I only developed anxiety 2 years ago. I believe both are peri linked but just wanted to say that the detached feeling might not be part of anxiety but of another peri symptom such as migraines. I don't always get a headache, often just this detached feeling and my awareness of contrast dark/light is heightened. Migraines were my first peri symptom and I had them for 3 years before I had any other symptoms.

I had gotten those periods of what I now have learned from this forum, that it is called de-personalization (sp) . It was the most frightning feelings I have ever had. Of all the peri and post symptoms, this is what has brought me to my knees. I felt like my body was just a shell and that there was nothing on the inside, and that was the weirdest feeling I have had. It felt like I was watching myself move around the house, and there was nothing inside me...just a blank, empty, scary feeling. I felt dead inside. It happened to me a few times, but it obviously passed because I am here to tell you about it. I have never spoken to ANYONE about it because I was so terrified that I was going nuts!

I am so glad I found Power Surge Forum because I have learned so much and have posted things in here on how I was feeling...things that I have never told another human being. ( I have a lump in my throat right now...am feeling so grateful for this site...like someone threw me a life-saver when I was floundering around deep dark waters and said...I understand how you are feeling...I've had the same thoughts and feelings).

My heart and prayers go out to you ladies that have also had to deal with depersonalization.I

Thank you so much for describing it perfectly. It feels exactly as you said. Did you have it with or with out anxiety? Did it finally go away. I agree this is a wonderful site.

Hi
I don't remember having a full-blown anxiety attack with it, but just feeling like that made me feel very anxious not knowing what was going on with me. I was also suffering from depression at the time, so that might have been a factor too. Yes, it did finally stop...thank God, because it was a frightening experience whenever it happened.

Now if it ever does surface...I can identify it and tell myself that it will pass. I sound tough saying that but it might be a differant story if and when it comes up again..but it has not happened for over a year.

Have any of you ever experienced depersonalization that is caused by other people? I've started having a lot of problems with feeling "invisible" in public places, especially if I'm with my husband. I may ask a question of a bank clerk or a post office employee, for example, and they won't even look at me when they answer, looking only at my husband, and he didn't ask! It's the most irritating feeling! I've also gone by myself into various stores, and I can hear the clerks telling other customers to let them know if they need help with anything, but they don't say it to me! They just look right through me. I feel like asking them, "Am I invisible?"

I know there's a joke that goes something like, "Middle aged women should rob banks, because no one notices them anyway." But now that I'm experiencing this every day, it's NOT funny!

This, to me, is public depersonalization. Anyone have any insights?

Hi everyone,

I am new to this particular post as I have been posting under "Postmenopause". I am 60 years old and had my last period in 2001. I so know what you mean about the de-personalization. I find that my bouts last on and off for a few months and then all of a sudden it disappears and my mind is clear and almost back to normal. During those months though, the anxiety is unbearable. I am filled with uncontrollable dread and doom as if there is something seriously wrong with me and I am going to die shortly. The depersonalization is all part of it. I go about my business but I can't be in crowded places because of the fear I am going to pass out as well.

The best way I can explain this episode is, it is like your body has been used to a particular amount of hormones and you are going about your business. All of a sudden your hormones drop and your body feels the effect of it until your body gets used to that level. Again, you go along your business, and only it happens again and so on and so on.

I thought after 5 years or so that this would be easing up but my gyno (the only one who ever told me this) said that even though you are one year past your last cycle, it takes 5 years or more after that. I am hoping that all this will come to an end soon.

I would love to be able to laugh the way I used to, dance the way I used to and most of all, live and enjoy life and people.

Sorry this is so long but I so sympathize with all of you and know the horrible feeling it is to live with it.



My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Kathy

Kathy, I haven't had a period in years either and was hoping all this mess would be over by now but these past few weeks have been pure hell. I went thru a bout of severe, severe anxiety that just about did me in. I would wake up in the morning shaking and crying and experience panic attacks all thru the day. Then came the depression. I was a mess. I ended up in the hospital.

The one thing that has really helped my anxiety (so far) is klonopin. I was scared to death to take medicine (I have a phobia about any kind of medication) but my psychiatrist convinced me to try it. I have a .5 mg klonopin first thing in the morning and then another half tab if I need to later in the day.

I am also now on my third week of Zoloft (75 mgs. per day - a low dose) and the anxiety is now bearable. The first couple of days I was on Zoloft I was a bit shaky and had an upset stomach but that has passed.

Ask your doctor about klonopin and do some research on it.

Good luck, darling.

Thanks for your post Gwen. I have been to so many therapist for this problem but none have helped me. I have never gone to a psychiatrist and maybe its about time that I do. My doctor has prescribed Lexapro but like you I fear the feeling I will get when I take medicine that I am unfamiliar with. I never heard of Klonopin but I will research it. I don't understand, I went quite a few years without any panic - anxiety yes but bearable and when I did get the anxiety, at least I was able to function. Now with this panic - its all I can think of but how I am feeling and my symptoms. Of course any symptom you get is magnified 10 times and throws you into another panic. I can go on and on but I know you know what it feels like.

I am glad to see that you are being helped. Do you think seeing a Psychiatrist is doing a lot for you (besides the medicine)?

Stay well
Kathy

Yes, I think the psychiatrist is helping a lot but I was lucky enough to find a really good one. She is very compassionate and very patient in answering my many, many questions about medicine.

I don't trust regular physicians when they hand out anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs like they're giving you candy. I have a friend who is taking three anti-depressants (Zoloft, Celexa and Trazadone) plus Xanax for anxiety. Her regular doctor put her on all those meds and she is like a walking zombie. She loves her doctor and trusts him completely so she just never questions his judgment. I really worry about her.....

I can't stress to you how opposed I was to taking any kind of "mind altering" drug. I had a real fear of feeling groggy or drugged out. But I was really, really sick - I had to do something. My anxiety was so bad that I would just start sobbing uncontrollably because I was worried about everything. And the physical symptoms were horrid too. I could barely get dressed in the morning - I would be shaking all over and have the internal "tremors". My regular doctor finally told me that I had no choice - I had to be hospitalized (he thought I was getting suicidal over the anxiety attacks and depresssion).


If you can find a good psychiatrist who is willing to answer all your questions then I think it will help you a lot. I also see a psychologist (another wonderful woman) once a month just to talk out my feelings (a real bitch session so to speak) and that has helped too.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I am having to go thru all this. I never dreamed that I would end up having to get counseling and take medicine just to maintain my sanity. I used to be one of those people who stayed cool, calm and collected and could do anything. Somewhere along the way I lost myself and fell apart.

People who have never experienced the hell of unrelenting anxiety can't possibly understand what it's like to live in fear and dread all day long. It just ruins your life.

Hopefully you can find a pyschiatrist who will get you started on some medicine that will help you.

By the way, one of my co-workers takes Lexapro and she says it has really helped her. (It seems most of my co-workers - the women anyway - are on some kind of anti-depressant or anti-anxiety drug). Anyway, Laura has been on Lexapro for about six months and she is pleased with the results. She went thru a messy divorce, she's going thru menopause and she has a stressful job so she was kind of falling apart too.

Good luck, sweetheart. Keep me posted on how you're doing.