Full Version: I look like hell
I guess I need to get used to it, eh?
QUOTE (ballroomdaysareoverbaby @ Aug 21 2006, 02:08 PM) 
I guess I need to get used to it, eh?
Well maybe you really dont look like hell, maybe you just feel like hell!! Have you tried something as simple as maybe trying a new lipstick or perfume just to brighten up your day? I know durring sometimes of the month I look terrible, but nothing really changed, the makeup or lipstick so I think its inside sometimes, for me anyway, so I will perk up the hair a lil, spray a lil of my favorite perfume, add a lil xtra gloss on the ol lips like a lil pick me upper, good luck , hope you feel better, just a lil something I thought might help, Tinks
Take it easy on yourself and cut yourself some slack on your looks. No, you probably don't look twenty or even thirty any more, but that doesn't mean you look awful.
Whenever I get that feeling that I look absolutely awful, I make sure I do some nice things for myself. It's amazing what a different hairstyle and/or color, or a new outfit, or different make up can do for you both on the inside and outside.
I can't afford visits to spas or anything fancy, but there are some very inexpensive ways to pamper yourself that will help you to feel better and to see yourself in a more positive light. If nothing else, draw a warm bath, light some soothing scented candles, and spend half an hour just soaking and relaxing.
Remember that part of looking good is feeling good about yourself. Believe me I know how difficult it is to feel good about yourself when you feel as if you are falling apart physically!
Whenever I get that feeling that I look absolutely awful, I make sure I do some nice things for myself. It's amazing what a different hairstyle and/or color, or a new outfit, or different make up can do for you both on the inside and outside.
I can't afford visits to spas or anything fancy, but there are some very inexpensive ways to pamper yourself that will help you to feel better and to see yourself in a more positive light. If nothing else, draw a warm bath, light some soothing scented candles, and spend half an hour just soaking and relaxing.
Remember that part of looking good is feeling good about yourself. Believe me I know how difficult it is to feel good about yourself when you feel as if you are falling apart physically!
I chose my name, RedFox, because I used to have shiny red hair and was kinda "foxy". Now, at 51, I'm no fox anymore! My hair is half gray, half dull red. I won't even get into "below the neck"! One of the hardest things for me about getting older was what I felt like when looking in a mirror. In the latter part of my 40's, I really fretted about it and felt depressed. I couldn't STAND the thought of getting older, although I knew I had no choice. Now... I'm okay with it. I'm not out to impress anyone. My husband tells me I'm pretty and that's all that matters (though I don't see "pretty" in the mirror!). I think those years of feeling upset about how aging is affecting our appearance is a normal progression of getting older. It's how we get from one phase of life to the next. I think most everyone feels this way, and it's just part of life. Besides, the old cliche' is so true: it's what's on the inside that counts. And, in twenty years, I'm going to probably think I was pretty at 51! 
Anyway, that's my thoughts. Hang in there, ballroomdaysareoverbaby... it'll all be good one day soon.
RedFox
Anyway, that's my thoughts. Hang in there, ballroomdaysareoverbaby... it'll all be good one day soon.
RedFox
Thanks for the understanding gals.....I'm not sure how much longer I'm gonna be feeling like this but I'd better make the best of it. No, I won't be 25 looking again.
Well, I went on a downward spiral. I let my hair grow out gray; my natural color is dark brown. I've been going gray since my late 20's due to thyroid issues.
I colored my hair back to a medium brown.....fixed myself up a little more and vowed never to let myself go down that road again, thinking life would be easier if only I didnt have to worry about re-coloring my hair every month.
I should look at it that I am blessed to have a decent head of hair to color in the first place.
Next, I'll work on knocking off a few pounds here and there and probably feel better for it, too.
Well, I went on a downward spiral. I let my hair grow out gray; my natural color is dark brown. I've been going gray since my late 20's due to thyroid issues.
I colored my hair back to a medium brown.....fixed myself up a little more and vowed never to let myself go down that road again, thinking life would be easier if only I didnt have to worry about re-coloring my hair every month.
I should look at it that I am blessed to have a decent head of hair to color in the first place.
Next, I'll work on knocking off a few pounds here and there and probably feel better for it, too.
ballroom, that sounds like a good plan. I've dealt with the issue of not looking good, and some days it really bothers me. I got my weight down to nearly normal, as normal as it will be at my age of 55. I have excess weight in my stomach, but it's as good as it will get. I'm also lucky to have my Dad's genes for dark hair, and I have some gray strands but most of it is still dark. What gets me is my FACE. I know I look bad because of people's reactions. Maybe the word shouldn't be "bad," but I don't really look good and I know that. I thought about cosmetic work, but that is just an endless thing and now I'm facing eye surgery for another serious condition, so the cosmetic work really seems frivolous when it's not necessary for my life.
I get home from working all day with people in their twenties, and a commute with angry maniacs, and I'm feeling over-the-hill and washed up. Then at the door, my little dog is so OVERJOYED to see me that she just erases all the bad feelings. She doesn't care what I look like! We have a blast playing together, and she thinks I'm GREAT. Too bad I can't stay with her all day. She's great for my self-esteem. So are my cats, but they tend to love me only if I get cracking and feed them.
The way I've dealt with the bad feelings about looking old is to try and be the best I can. Meaning that I lost the excess weight from peri, which is still possible even in meno. I try to take care of myself and wear nice clothes and stand up straight. I still wear light foundation and blush, even though these don't do a lot for me anymore. I always thought that having a little color in my face could only help because without it I look sick and sallow. I don't use eye make-up anymore. I can't get the eyeliner straight and I look worse with it, so forget that. I've also gotten used to the sometimes negative reactions of people and actually it has started to become less important.
Maybe I'm crossing into the next phase, RedFox, when I'm old but I don't care as long as I feel pretty good. There's still a lot of happiness out there that doesn't depend on us being young.
I think this is post #1,000 for me. Whew! I sure had a lot to say.
I get home from working all day with people in their twenties, and a commute with angry maniacs, and I'm feeling over-the-hill and washed up. Then at the door, my little dog is so OVERJOYED to see me that she just erases all the bad feelings. She doesn't care what I look like! We have a blast playing together, and she thinks I'm GREAT. Too bad I can't stay with her all day. She's great for my self-esteem. So are my cats, but they tend to love me only if I get cracking and feed them.
The way I've dealt with the bad feelings about looking old is to try and be the best I can. Meaning that I lost the excess weight from peri, which is still possible even in meno. I try to take care of myself and wear nice clothes and stand up straight. I still wear light foundation and blush, even though these don't do a lot for me anymore. I always thought that having a little color in my face could only help because without it I look sick and sallow. I don't use eye make-up anymore. I can't get the eyeliner straight and I look worse with it, so forget that. I've also gotten used to the sometimes negative reactions of people and actually it has started to become less important.
Maybe I'm crossing into the next phase, RedFox, when I'm old but I don't care as long as I feel pretty good. There's still a lot of happiness out there that doesn't depend on us being young.
I think this is post #1,000 for me. Whew! I sure had a lot to say.
CSugarGrove,
Always enjoy reading your posts! So positive about this whole rotten experience. I am 1-1/2 years post and am trying desperately to lose the weight I've gained during peri, the AD's and
cravings. Anyway, just wondering........were you post when you lost the weight and if so, how far along into were you? I have been walking or try to walk 5 miles each day when the weather is nice. Also have changed my eating habits. How long did this take you? Again, THANK YOU for all of your posts. You are a blessing to this board!
Jan
Always enjoy reading your posts! So positive about this whole rotten experience. I am 1-1/2 years post and am trying desperately to lose the weight I've gained during peri, the AD's and
cravings. Anyway, just wondering........were you post when you lost the weight and if so, how far along into were you? I have been walking or try to walk 5 miles each day when the weather is nice. Also have changed my eating habits. How long did this take you? Again, THANK YOU for all of your posts. You are a blessing to this board!
Jan
Jan, WOW!! Five miles a day is EXCELLENT! I thought two was good (which is all I can do).
I gained 80 pounds very fast during peri. I've had weight problems all my life, on and off, but in peri the weight came on VERY fast and I was amazed, because it didn't seem like I'd been overeating all that much.
I couldn't lose it until after I was post. I couldn't even focus on losing weight at all during peri. There were so many other things going on. I had panic attacks, depression, crying spells every day, and I just didn't care about losing weight. I bought a couple of larger outfits and those were all that I wore, washing one outfit while wearing the other. I never thought I'd get my weight down again, and I didn't even care about only having two outfits. I felt lucky if I could get myself out of bed in the morning!
But sometime after my first year without a period, an acquaintance of mine who is several years post was able to lose a lot of weight. Even though I believed that something happened to our metabolism in middle age that PREVENTED us from losing, I just thought I'd TRY to eat better. I went on a modified version of Weight Watchers. I didn't weigh myself or even look in the mirror. I use the Revival Soy, so I had to figure in the bar every day, plus I try to consume more calcium so I figured that in.
But what was amazing was that I lost weight (from the way my clothes loosened up immeidately) just as quickly as when I was young. Maybe they say our metabolism slows down, but the weight came off as fast for me as ever. I craved sugar at first, and felt depressed when all I could have was veggies, but I stuck to it (plus walking only two miles a day) and after a year I knew from the size of clothes I had to buy that my weight was pretty close to normal.
I think the length of time it takes for you will depend on how much you want to lose. I had 80 pounds, so it took about a year.
Thanks for your kind words, Jan, and good luck. Please keep us posted on how it's going and don't be discouraged if you have a set-back. I had plenty of those!
I gained 80 pounds very fast during peri. I've had weight problems all my life, on and off, but in peri the weight came on VERY fast and I was amazed, because it didn't seem like I'd been overeating all that much.
I couldn't lose it until after I was post. I couldn't even focus on losing weight at all during peri. There were so many other things going on. I had panic attacks, depression, crying spells every day, and I just didn't care about losing weight. I bought a couple of larger outfits and those were all that I wore, washing one outfit while wearing the other. I never thought I'd get my weight down again, and I didn't even care about only having two outfits. I felt lucky if I could get myself out of bed in the morning!
But sometime after my first year without a period, an acquaintance of mine who is several years post was able to lose a lot of weight. Even though I believed that something happened to our metabolism in middle age that PREVENTED us from losing, I just thought I'd TRY to eat better. I went on a modified version of Weight Watchers. I didn't weigh myself or even look in the mirror. I use the Revival Soy, so I had to figure in the bar every day, plus I try to consume more calcium so I figured that in.
But what was amazing was that I lost weight (from the way my clothes loosened up immeidately) just as quickly as when I was young. Maybe they say our metabolism slows down, but the weight came off as fast for me as ever. I craved sugar at first, and felt depressed when all I could have was veggies, but I stuck to it (plus walking only two miles a day) and after a year I knew from the size of clothes I had to buy that my weight was pretty close to normal.
I think the length of time it takes for you will depend on how much you want to lose. I had 80 pounds, so it took about a year.
Thanks for your kind words, Jan, and good luck. Please keep us posted on how it's going and don't be discouraged if you have a set-back. I had plenty of those!
CSugarGrove,
Thanks for your quick reply. You are my inspiration! I am going into this with a positive attitiude now...........only because you say it can be done:) I really thought I was going to be stuck with these extra lbs for the rest of my life! Thanks again!
Jan
Thanks for your quick reply. You are my inspiration! I am going into this with a positive attitiude now...........only because you say it can be done:) I really thought I was going to be stuck with these extra lbs for the rest of my life! Thanks again!
Jan
What is worse looking like hell, or feeling like hell? I used to look in the mirror and ask myself> how can I look so good and feel so horrible?
Right now I feel stuck in the middle, I feel some better but starting to look older!
Guess I will wake up one day and feel wonderful but look like a old hag!
So I ask myself again>>>Whats worse looking like hell, or feeling like hell?
Right now I feel stuck in the middle, I feel some better but starting to look older!
Guess I will wake up one day and feel wonderful but look like a old hag!
So I ask myself again>>>Whats worse looking like hell, or feeling like hell?
QUOTE (CSugarGrove @ Aug 29 2006, 04:08 PM)
ballroom, that sounds like a good plan. I've dealt with the issue of not looking good, and some days it really bothers me. I got my weight down to nearly normal, as normal as it will be at my age of 55. I have excess weight in my stomach, but it's as good as it will get. I'm also lucky to have my Dad's genes for dark hair, and I have some gray strands but most of it is still dark. What gets me is my FACE. I know I look bad because of people's reactions. Maybe the word shouldn't be "bad," but I don't really look good and I know that. I thought about cosmetic work, but that is just an endless thing and now I'm facing eye surgery for another serious condition, so the cosmetic work really seems frivolous when it's not necessary for my life.
I get home from working all day with people in their twenties, and a commute with angry maniacs, and I'm feeling over-the-hill and washed up. Then at the door, my little dog is so OVERJOYED to see me that she just erases all the bad feelings. She doesn't care what I look like! We have a blast playing together, and she thinks I'm GREAT. Too bad I can't stay with her all day. She's great for my self-esteem. So are my cats, but they tend to love me only if I get cracking and feed them.
The way I've dealt with the bad feelings about looking old is to try and be the best I can. Meaning that I lost the excess weight from peri, which is still possible even in meno. I try to take care of myself and wear nice clothes and stand up straight. I still wear light foundation and blush, even though these don't do a lot for me anymore. I always thought that having a little color in my face could only help because without it I look sick and sallow. I don't use eye make-up anymore. I can't get the eyeliner straight and I look worse with it, so forget that. I've also gotten used to the sometimes negative reactions of people and actually it has started to become less important.
Maybe I'm crossing into the next phase, RedFox, when I'm old but I don't care as long as I feel pretty good. There's still a lot of happiness out there that doesn't depend on us being young.
I think this is post #1,000 for me. Whew! I sure had a lot to say.
I get home from working all day with people in their twenties, and a commute with angry maniacs, and I'm feeling over-the-hill and washed up. Then at the door, my little dog is so OVERJOYED to see me that she just erases all the bad feelings. She doesn't care what I look like! We have a blast playing together, and she thinks I'm GREAT. Too bad I can't stay with her all day. She's great for my self-esteem. So are my cats, but they tend to love me only if I get cracking and feed them.
The way I've dealt with the bad feelings about looking old is to try and be the best I can. Meaning that I lost the excess weight from peri, which is still possible even in meno. I try to take care of myself and wear nice clothes and stand up straight. I still wear light foundation and blush, even though these don't do a lot for me anymore. I always thought that having a little color in my face could only help because without it I look sick and sallow. I don't use eye make-up anymore. I can't get the eyeliner straight and I look worse with it, so forget that. I've also gotten used to the sometimes negative reactions of people and actually it has started to become less important.
Maybe I'm crossing into the next phase, RedFox, when I'm old but I don't care as long as I feel pretty good. There's still a lot of happiness out there that doesn't depend on us being young.
I think this is post #1,000 for me. Whew! I sure had a lot to say.
Oops, I hit "reply" before I bothered to type anything. Let's try again.
I really enjoyed that post. I always read stuff about how older women can boost their appearance and mood by adding more color to their wardrobe and buying clothing that drapes nicely over their figures. Alot of older women that I see wear pretty scarfs and bright accessories, like purses and nice shoes. It also seems like jewelry becomes a bigger part of dressing as women grow older. I guess this is one way of compensating for what you feel you have lost in terms of youthfulness. I pretty much live in a uniform of jeans and black turtlenecks, but maybe I'll pull my head out of the sand one of these days and try some color.
QUOTE (daleysl @ Sep 4 2006, 06:59 PM)
Oops, I hit "reply" before I bothered to type anything. Let's try again.
I really enjoyed that post. I always read stuff about how older women can boost their appearance and mood by adding more color to their wardrobe and buying clothing that drapes nicely over their figures. Alot of older women that I see wear pretty scarfs and bright accessories, like purses and nice shoes. It also seems like jewelry becomes a bigger part of dressing as women grow older. I guess this is one way of compensating for what you feel you have lost in terms of youthfulness. I pretty much live in a uniform of jeans and black turtlenecks, but maybe I'll pull my head out of the sand one of these days and try some color.
I really enjoyed that post. I always read stuff about how older women can boost their appearance and mood by adding more color to their wardrobe and buying clothing that drapes nicely over their figures. Alot of older women that I see wear pretty scarfs and bright accessories, like purses and nice shoes. It also seems like jewelry becomes a bigger part of dressing as women grow older. I guess this is one way of compensating for what you feel you have lost in terms of youthfulness. I pretty much live in a uniform of jeans and black turtlenecks, but maybe I'll pull my head out of the sand one of these days and try some color.
I really enjoy this site - the appearance thing is a big hurdle for me. I don't want it to be, it seems so superficial. I just feel I'm ageing faster than my husband and my friends for that matter. I have fair English skin which wrinkles faster - my neck looks quite old to me and I have the horrible age spots everywhere. When I am done up and out, smiling happily I catch a glimpse and don't think I look bad at all - but if I'm home and talking on the phone and pass my reflection I can't believe how old I'm looking. It seemed to happen so fast after 40 - now I'm 46 and I wasn't used to 40!! I am trying a crash course in self acceptance and it's hard. My kids, husband and pets adore me - I wish I could love myself too. After all, what's the alternative? I am so lucky to be here in this life the most annoying thing is that my vanity is an issue to me. I hate that I don't know what to wear any more - I am happy in my daggy house clothes and slippers, which is so not me!!
I have decided to stick to classic, conservative styles which flatter. As was mentioned before - beautiful fabrics, scarves - and now I'm going to spoil myself with the best perfume and even some jewellery!
I am also going to do a major overhaul of everything in my wardrobe - so many items remind me of my youthful past - they must go!!
Even if I only have a couple of outfits - I only want things that make me feel good. It will take ages but I imagine it will feel very cleansing. I also walk as much as possible - it makes me feel alive again - after working and living at home and being a hermit I find it an integral part of my life. I also take my beautiful dog with me and she always brings a smile to my face - that's gotta look good!!
Love Vicki
I WISH WE COULD ALL STOP BEING SO HARD ON OURSELVES!!! Why must we go thru this horrible self torture of hating the way we look?
Sometimes I just hate the culture we live in.......why does everything that a woman thinks, says, and does have to be appearance oriented? Why are we programmed to feel that we must look pretty and youthful? Why can't we be honored for our experience, our wisdom and knowledge? If I were going to go to someone for advice and guidance, I'd go to an older woman with the crows feet and gray hair before I'd go to the 25 year old with the cute butt and luxurious flowing locks of hair.
So much is expected of us today...we have to be perfect mothers, perfect wives, always there for our family, supportive of our husbands, keep a nice home, cook healthy, interesting meals, go to work, ..........and stay slim, young and attractive.
I wish we could all enter these perimenopause years with permission to look and feel as different as will be necessary to get thru the changes. And maybe to be allowed to emerge at the end as a different person! When I get to the other end of this journey, I don't think I am going to be the same woman I am today, and I don't want to worry about the different phases I must morph thru along the way. Life is getting shorter each minute, and I don't want to waste the next few years of it just wishing I were still a size 6 or wrinkle-free.
Sometimes I just hate the culture we live in.......why does everything that a woman thinks, says, and does have to be appearance oriented? Why are we programmed to feel that we must look pretty and youthful? Why can't we be honored for our experience, our wisdom and knowledge? If I were going to go to someone for advice and guidance, I'd go to an older woman with the crows feet and gray hair before I'd go to the 25 year old with the cute butt and luxurious flowing locks of hair.
So much is expected of us today...we have to be perfect mothers, perfect wives, always there for our family, supportive of our husbands, keep a nice home, cook healthy, interesting meals, go to work, ..........and stay slim, young and attractive.
I wish we could all enter these perimenopause years with permission to look and feel as different as will be necessary to get thru the changes. And maybe to be allowed to emerge at the end as a different person! When I get to the other end of this journey, I don't think I am going to be the same woman I am today, and I don't want to worry about the different phases I must morph thru along the way. Life is getting shorter each minute, and I don't want to waste the next few years of it just wishing I were still a size 6 or wrinkle-free.
QUOTE (daleysl @ Sep 12 2006, 07:59 PM)
Sometimes I just hate the culture we live in.......why does everything that a woman thinks, says, and does have to be appearance oriented? Why are we programmed to feel that we must look pretty and youthful? Why can't we be honored for our experience, our wisdom and knowledge?
You know, Daleysl, I think about this a lot. Probably because when I was a young girl and teenager, my Mom was wise enough to point out the sexually exploitive way women were portrayed on TV and in advertising. She would see a scantily clad female dancer and say, "Now why do you think the male dancer has on a shirt and long pants and the female is required to be just about naked?" So it's something I've wondered about since childhood, because Mom gently brought it to my attention. And I decided it was quite unfair.
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
T'Pow, what you say is SO true! I normally don't stay up late watching TV, but the other night I was up around midnight, and saw the latest "Girls Gone Wild" video commercial. OMG. How much further can they go??!! I'm not a prude, but I am appalled, totally, completely APPALLED! 
RedFox
RedFox
QUOTE (T単ow @ Sep 12 2006, 09:10 PM)
You know, Daleysl, I think about this a lot. Probably because when I was a young girl and teenager, my Mom was wise enough to point out the sexually exploitive way women were portrayed on TV and in advertising. She would see a scantily clad female dancer and say, "Now why do you think the male dancer has on a shirt and long pants and the female is required to be just about naked?" So it's something I've wondered about since childhood, because Mom gently brought it to my attention. And I decided it was quite unfair.
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
oops - sorry for the repost.
The reason for the disparity is that the executives making the decisions are mostly male. The naked girls are to get the guys watching and to make the women feel insecure. The female
goddesses are there for the regular woman to emulate, in the hopes she will get the same goodies the beautiful actresses do.
It is an unobtainable goal designed to make women feel inadequate.
I don't remember the name, but there is a website showing pictures of the average woman's breasts. It is a real eye-opener.
No one looks like a Playboy centerfold. Far from it.
We have grown up with these false airbrushed images and unfortunately, this continues to be the case for the upcoming generation. The more things change.
QUOTE (lidge26 @ Sep 12 2006, 08:39 PM)
oops - sorry for the repost.
I don't remember the name, but there is a website showing pictures of the average woman's breasts. It is a real eye-opener.
No one looks like a Playboy centerfold. Far from it.
I don't remember the name, but there is a website showing pictures of the average woman's breasts. It is a real eye-opener.
No one looks like a Playboy centerfold. Far from it.
I got curious and googled it, is this the same site? If so, it's indeed an eye-opener!!
http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
[
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
[/quote]
I have really noticed this alot, especially as I am going thru this midlife phase where I find myself looking a little more frequently at attractive young men, (not to mention having developed a disturbing lust for Johnny Depp).
And on a bit of a different, yet related level, I was watching tv tonight and noticed 2 commericals for microwave dinners; the Hungry Man XXL dinner is a huge meal of high fat, (yet delicious looking) food and the commerical featured big, hearty men. The other ad was for DIET dinners, like WeightWatchers,,,and of course, it showcased women. So, the guys get to eat the good stuff and enjoy it and we are stuck with the tiny tray of diet food.
I read an article recently about how teenage boys are so accustomed to the female bodies that they see portrayed in the media that they are totally shocked and surprised when they see what a real, average, normal woman looks like naked.
.
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
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I have really noticed this alot, especially as I am going thru this midlife phase where I find myself looking a little more frequently at attractive young men, (not to mention having developed a disturbing lust for Johnny Depp).
And on a bit of a different, yet related level, I was watching tv tonight and noticed 2 commericals for microwave dinners; the Hungry Man XXL dinner is a huge meal of high fat, (yet delicious looking) food and the commerical featured big, hearty men. The other ad was for DIET dinners, like WeightWatchers,,,and of course, it showcased women. So, the guys get to eat the good stuff and enjoy it and we are stuck with the tiny tray of diet food.
QUOTE (Tompet @ Sep 12 2006, 09:27 PM)
I got curious and googled it, is this the same site? If so, it's indeed an eye-opener!!
http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
I read an article recently about how teenage boys are so accustomed to the female bodies that they see portrayed in the media that they are totally shocked and surprised when they see what a real, average, normal woman looks like naked.
.
Tompet et al-
Yes, that is the site. Maybe health teachers should make slides and show it to their classes so their frame of reference is not
Playboy. I'm sure it would make young girls feel less dissatisfied with their bodies.
Yes, that is the site. Maybe health teachers should make slides and show it to their classes so their frame of reference is not
Playboy. I'm sure it would make young girls feel less dissatisfied with their bodies.
QUOTE (T単ow @ Sep 12 2006, 09:10 PM)
You know, Daleysl, I think about this a lot. Probably because when I was a young girl and teenager, my Mom was wise enough to point out the sexually exploitive way women were portrayed on TV and in advertising. She would see a scantily clad female dancer and say, "Now why do you think the male dancer has on a shirt and long pants and the female is required to be just about naked?" So it's something I've wondered about since childhood, because Mom gently brought it to my attention. And I decided it was quite unfair.
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
Have you noticed how naked, beautiful, female bodies are used to sell everything? Everything! Have you noticed that the male dancers on "Dancing with the stars" are fully clothed while all of the women are just about naked?
In fact, I don't watch the show, but I've seen the ads (print and commercials) and they usually feature a scantily clad woman in the ads. Rarely do they focus on the male dancer to lure viewers.
I've always wondered why advertisers don't care about luring women viewers with scantily clad, stud muffin boy toys. Why do they present only young, beautiful, sex, naked women to us as the lure? Do you think they think that women will be attracted by the naked women, just as men are? Do they not care about providing a lure for women because in their minds, only men count?
From car racing to tennis, from WWB wrestling to acting...whatever! The way to get ahead for women seems to remain the naked body way. So with the beautiful, naked, female body being such a viable avenue to attention in our culture, it's no wonder that there is less appreciation for women as they age.
T'Pow
I think it's because men will desire the half dressed woman and women will want to be the half dressed woman. It appeals to both in different ways. That's what's behind the whole Victoria's secret catalog thing too. It's really not the media's fault, they're just exploiting biological predispositions to sell things. Unfair but it is what it is.
QUOTE (Teal @ Sep 17 2006, 04:20 AM)
I think it's because men will desire the half dressed woman and women will want to be the half dressed woman. It appeals to both in different ways. That's what's behind the whole Victoria's secret catalog thing too. It's really not the media's fault, they're just exploiting biological predispositions to sell things. Unfair but it is what it is.
Hi Teal,
I've heard your explanation before. Apparently, physcholgists believe that the female is so desirous of wanting the attention of the male that she will strive to be and look like whatever the male finds femininely attractive.
Over the last 10 years or so, I come across magazine "letters to the editor" of various women's magazines where readers have 1) complained about the prevalence of naked female bodies used in stories and advertising (usually model-thin bodies...not the American norm of 5'4/135lbs); and 2) letters complimenting the mag for having done a spread/story about how to dress stylishly, or solve fitting problems for average size American women.
In conversations with other women, I find that most say they don't understand why women's magazines contain so much female nudity; while men's mags feature loads of female nudity. The answer is always that "women aspire to be the naked woman, and will therefore buy the product or be interested in the article.
As a grown women, seeing a naked, or scantily clad woman has never made me want to be the woman. It has never made me want to read the article. I have often wondered if this explanation is offered by "old school" psychologists and sociologists who are assuming that women never move beyond the maturity of a teenager desperately seeking the attention of a male. I don't think they believe that women ever move beyond the need to compare themselves with other women and compete for male attention. Maybe some don't, but I believe a significant number of us do.
The female body is beautiful, and so is the male body. But, I think the female body is used to grab the readers attention so they will read the article or consider purchasing the product; whereas the fickle reader might flip right past the page if there wasn't a naked body to look at.
I would love to know what other women on PS think about this issue. Maybe I am alone in my feelings. So I ask:
Are there any other women who look at naked, or scantily clad women and don't find yourselves "wanting to be that woman" like advertisers think?
Just wondering...
T'Pow
QUOTE (T単ow @ Sep 17 2006, 10:47 AM)
Hi Teal,
I've heard your explanation before. Apparently, physcholgists believe that the female is so desirous of wanting the attention of the male that she will strive to be and look like whatever the male finds femininely attractive.
Over the last 10 years or so, I come across magazine "letters to the editor" of various women's magazines where readers have 1) complained about the prevalence of naked female bodies used in stories and advertising (usually model-thin bodies...not the American norm of 5'4/135lbs); and 2) letters complimenting the mag for having done a spread/story about how to dress stylishly, or solve fitting problems for average size American women.
In conversations with other women, I find that most say they don't understand why women's magazines contain so much female nudity; while men's mags feature loads of female nudity. The answer is always that "women aspire to be the naked woman, and will therefore buy the product or be interested in the article.
As a grown women, seeing a naked, or scantily clad woman has never made me want to be the woman. It has never made me want to read the article. I have often wondered if this explanation is offered by "old school" psychologists and sociologists who are assuming that women never move beyond the maturity of a teenager desperately seeking the attention of a male. I don't think they believe that women ever move beyond the need to compare themselves with other women and compete for male attention. Maybe some don't, but I believe a significant number of us do.
The female body is beautiful, and so is the male body. But, I think the female body is used to grab the readers attention so they will read the article or consider purchasing the product; whereas the fickle reader might flip right past the page if there wasn't a naked body to look at.
I would love to know what other women on PS think about this issue. Maybe I am alone in my feelings. So I ask:
Are there any other women who look at naked, or scantily clad women and don't find yourselves "wanting to be that woman" like advertisers think?
Just wondering...
T'Pow
I've heard your explanation before. Apparently, physcholgists believe that the female is so desirous of wanting the attention of the male that she will strive to be and look like whatever the male finds femininely attractive.
Over the last 10 years or so, I come across magazine "letters to the editor" of various women's magazines where readers have 1) complained about the prevalence of naked female bodies used in stories and advertising (usually model-thin bodies...not the American norm of 5'4/135lbs); and 2) letters complimenting the mag for having done a spread/story about how to dress stylishly, or solve fitting problems for average size American women.
In conversations with other women, I find that most say they don't understand why women's magazines contain so much female nudity; while men's mags feature loads of female nudity. The answer is always that "women aspire to be the naked woman, and will therefore buy the product or be interested in the article.
As a grown women, seeing a naked, or scantily clad woman has never made me want to be the woman. It has never made me want to read the article. I have often wondered if this explanation is offered by "old school" psychologists and sociologists who are assuming that women never move beyond the maturity of a teenager desperately seeking the attention of a male. I don't think they believe that women ever move beyond the need to compare themselves with other women and compete for male attention. Maybe some don't, but I believe a significant number of us do.
The female body is beautiful, and so is the male body. But, I think the female body is used to grab the readers attention so they will read the article or consider purchasing the product; whereas the fickle reader might flip right past the page if there wasn't a naked body to look at.
I would love to know what other women on PS think about this issue. Maybe I am alone in my feelings. So I ask:
Are there any other women who look at naked, or scantily clad women and don't find yourselves "wanting to be that woman" like advertisers think?
Just wondering...
T'Pow
I agree that there are a lot of women who don't want to aspire to look like the nude young woman in the magazine because it's not realistic after a certain age. You'd have to be a masochist to consciously compare yourself to someone 30 years younger. I also think a lot of women WOULD want to be a beautiful young woman if it were possible (judging by the posts here and other forums of women lamenting lost looks).
But even if the women are not naked, we look at photos of women to get an idea of what style to wear and that sort of thing which men don't do nearly as much.
I think it is human nature for a woman to want to be attractive.
I have to disagree that women want to be attractive only to please men! If I woke up tomorrow looking gorgeous and 21 years old, I'd say "Damn! I look good!" I would NOT however, run outside in skimpy clothes looking for a man.
I recently read that a woman who is 17 years old is what we are biologically "programmed" to find the most attractive, whether we can admit it or not. Something to do with fertility, blah, blah, blah.....
I have to disagree that women want to be attractive only to please men! If I woke up tomorrow looking gorgeous and 21 years old, I'd say "Damn! I look good!" I would NOT however, run outside in skimpy clothes looking for a man.
I recently read that a woman who is 17 years old is what we are biologically "programmed" to find the most attractive, whether we can admit it or not. Something to do with fertility, blah, blah, blah.....
QUOTE (daleysl @ Sep 17 2006, 06:15 PM)
I recently read that a woman who is 17 years old is what we are biologically "programmed" to find the most attractive, whether we can admit it or not. Something to do with fertility, blah, blah, blah.....
Hi Daleysl,
I saw something similar to what you mentioned some time ago on Discovery or PBS...I think it was called "The Human Sexual Animal" or something. Anyway, the theory was presented that the human male is genetically predisposed to find females with firm boobs, tiny waists, and firm butts attractive because this shape indicates high fertility. It also presented that "new" theory that men are genetically predisposed to be unfaithful and promiscuious because they are programmed to plant their seed in as many women as possible to make sure they're "superior" genes pool is continued. Very interesting stuff.
Thanks for posting your thoughts on this subject.
T'Pow
Whats worse looking like hell, or feeling like hell?
hard question that one... i have both most days, look and feel hellish all over... i'm only 53, but i'm starting to look old!! i might come to terms with that one day.. but i wish i could feel better, get some energy and motivation back..
hard question that one...
i have both most days, look and feel hellish all over... i'm only 53, but i'm starting to look old!! i might come to terms with that one day.. but i wish i could feel better, get some energy and motivation back..
QUOTE (zen @ Sep 23 2006, 03:53 PM)
Whats worse looking like hell, or feeling like hell?
hard question that one... i have both most days, look and feel hellish all over... i'm only 53, but i'm starting to look old!! i might come to terms with that one day.. but i wish i could feel better, get some energy and motivation back..
hard question that one...
i have both most days, look and feel hellish all over... i'm only 53, but i'm starting to look old!! i might come to terms with that one day.. but i wish i could feel better, get some energy and motivation back..That's a good question. The 2 are related to an extent for me...when I look like hell, I FEEL like hell. I can also look good and feel like hell. But I can never, ever look like hell and feel good!
QUOTE (zen @ Sep 23 2006, 04:53 PM)
Whats worse looking like hell, or feeling like hell?
Remember Billy Crystal doing his impression of the Hollywood star, "Fernando" who always said to his guests, "You look marvelous! It is always better to look good than to feel good."
Well, I must agree! when I look like hell, I feel like hell. When I feel like hell, but look in the mirror and look better than I feel, I feel a wee bit better!
T'Pow
QUOTE (lidge26 @ Sep 12 2006, 08:39 PM)
oops - sorry for the repost.
The reason for the disparity is that the executives making the decisions are mostly male. The naked girls are to get the guys watching and to make the women feel insecure. The female
goddesses are there for the regular woman to emulate, in the hopes she will get the same goodies the beautiful actresses do.
It is an unobtainable goal designed to make women feel inadequate.
I don't remember the name, but there is a website showing pictures of the average woman's breasts. It is a real eye-opener.
No one looks like a Playboy centerfold. Far from it.
We have grown up with these false airbrushed images and unfortunately, this continues to be the case for the upcoming generation. The more things change.
The reason for the disparity is that the executives making the decisions are mostly male. The naked girls are to get the guys watching and to make the women feel insecure. The female
goddesses are there for the regular woman to emulate, in the hopes she will get the same goodies the beautiful actresses do.
It is an unobtainable goal designed to make women feel inadequate.
I don't remember the name, but there is a website showing pictures of the average woman's breasts. It is a real eye-opener.
No one looks like a Playboy centerfold. Far from it.
We have grown up with these false airbrushed images and unfortunately, this continues to be the case for the upcoming generation. The more things change.
"It is an unobtainable goal designed to make women feel inadequate." [From Post 16, lidge26]
It's just occurred to me that all the young advertising is a modern version of bound feet. If we're made to feel inadequate all the time, we'll be less likely to get out of line.
It's just occurred to me that all the young advertising is a modern version of bound feet. If we're made to feel inadequate all the time, we'll be less likely to get out of line.
Brilliant observation Lanky.....I grieve for my lost youth and my looks as well, I am 53 and at 23 or even 33 I was considered a beauty....no more....but as far as keeping us in line with intimidation...I so agree...but I refuse to cave into that....there is nothing more powerful than a women who has/is in menopause.....watch out world the lady baby boomer have arrived.....and we are HOT!!!!!!!
You know, its funny...but when I see a young beautiful woman, I can appreciate the visual. But it is the strong, middle aged, experienced woman that shows strength, wisedom and knowledge. I would and do feel far more comfortable dealing in business with the older woman than the younger woman. So I say let the youngsters enjoy their beauty, while knowing you have been there, done that....and have moved to a better place now! You will also be treated with much more respect, and people will listen to your words, rather that ogling your "parts", aging isn't all bad, ladies!
These days if you don't want to look bad, you don't have to. And you don't have to do stuff like go for the face-lift or tummy-tuck either(unless you have the money and inclination to do so) No, one won't look 30 again and one wouldn't want to anyway. There are more gyms and fitness centers around, better skincare and haircoloring, and even some better clothes. It might sound like a cliche, but if one even makes a little bit of an effort to spruce up a bit one feels better.
There are ways that mature women can look good without looking scary-plastic too. But bottom-line, take care of your health and fitness first as this is an important cornerstone, and the rest is icing on the cake. Quickest way to spruce up - get a flattering haircut and color(if you choose to color), and a makeup lesson. Makeup doesn't have to look scary either - a few colors suitable for one's skintone and blended well look great and natural. Next, buy a top in a pretty color that looks nice against your face, and one pair of pants that will flatter you now. These will perk you up short term while on longer term projects like attacking the health and fitness challenges. None of these will take away from your character either, if done right. In fact, a mature woman who is well-turned out looks pretty powerful in my book.
And again, that day you look at your face in the mirror at 50 and don't like the looks of it, consider that you will wish you look that good when you are 70-LOL!
There are ways that mature women can look good without looking scary-plastic too. But bottom-line, take care of your health and fitness first as this is an important cornerstone, and the rest is icing on the cake. Quickest way to spruce up - get a flattering haircut and color(if you choose to color), and a makeup lesson. Makeup doesn't have to look scary either - a few colors suitable for one's skintone and blended well look great and natural. Next, buy a top in a pretty color that looks nice against your face, and one pair of pants that will flatter you now. These will perk you up short term while on longer term projects like attacking the health and fitness challenges. None of these will take away from your character either, if done right. In fact, a mature woman who is well-turned out looks pretty powerful in my book.
And again, that day you look at your face in the mirror at 50 and don't like the looks of it, consider that you will wish you look that good when you are 70-LOL!
QUOTE (Crazy in CA @ Jan 20 2008, 11:53 PM)
Brilliant observation Lanky.....I grieve for my lost youth and my looks as well, I am 53 and at 23 or even 33 I was considered a beauty....no more....but as far as keeping us in line with intimidation...I so agree...but I refuse to cave into that....there is nothing more powerful than a women who has/is in menopause.....watch out world the lady baby boomer have arrived.....and we are HOT!!!!!!!
Just don't look for a job. No matter how HOT you are, age discrimination is alive and well here in the USA. And a woman in her 50's will find it very hard to find her place in the "New" corporate America. Especially if all the executives are male, and younger than she is.
And let me add, do not try to find a job if you are a 50 ish woman who has been a stay at home mother for many years...the world of work is NOT welcoming, I have found....
even though I have kept my skills up, learned new ones, I am still finding it very, very hard to re-enter the working world...
and the ones who really treat me the worst are the woman around the same age as me!
I am actually going shopping tomorrow, to try and get a professional outfit for an interview I have this week.
even though I have kept my skills up, learned new ones, I am still finding it very, very hard to re-enter the working world...
and the ones who really treat me the worst are the woman around the same age as me!
I am actually going shopping tomorrow, to try and get a professional outfit for an interview I have this week.
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