Is it me? Is it HIM? or is it IT??? Options

[ChickenQueen]

Several months ago, I decided that I needed some help. I was tired of finding myself flying off the handle, screaming and yelling, then bawling my head off over something like...um....a gate left open. I went to the doctor and he said I might be perimenopausal. I agreed as my periods are definitely not the same as they used to be and I did notice that my moods were something like PMS (never had it before). BTW, I'm 40. He put me on Lexapro. He said my hormones would be normal since I was still having periods and that was that. I took the lexapro for about three months and felt much better. I stopped being an ogre. Then I stuck my hand in a machine (on accident) and lost part of my fingers. I was put on lots of vicodin. I was taking quite a bit for the first month and really went whacky. Depressed, etc. Part of that was due to the injury I'm sure. I kept thinking "What's wrong with me???" After some thought, I decided that there wasn't anything wrong with me other than being in a bad marriage. I decided that the lexapro was only masking the feelings I should be having for living with my husband. This might sound weird, but I was previously in an abusive marriage (this one is not, except for me when I'm on the attack) and constantly thinking "What's wrong with me" kept me from recognizing what was wrong with him for many years. I quit taking lexapro. Remember this decision was made under the influence of vicodin! It's been a couple months now since I've been off everything...lexapro and vicodin. I'm right back at it. I spend most of my days being angry at my husband. I fume, stew, mull and drive myself crazy (not to mention him). I started my period yesterday and all of a sudden, he doesn't seem all that bad again. Now I'm all confused. I don't know if this is all menopause stuff, a late blooming mental illness or if I should just bail out of my marriage. Yesterday I would have went on and on about why my husband is a jerk, but today I'm starting to wonder why I thought all that. There are problems in my marriage, but I have made the decision (not under the influence of anything) to stay and make the best of it. Being angry and abusive doesn't make anything better, but then I'm afraid of being lulled into complacency by meds too. Does any of that make sense???? I think I ought to go back on lexapro, but I feel like such a nutcase, I just don't know what to think anymore. I did make an appointment with a GYN to discuss the whole meopause thing. I don't know if he'll add anything to what my doc told me, but I thought I should check anyways. Thanks for listening. Jena

[AnxietyAttack]

Hey Chick (dont want to call you chicken), Sorry about your hand. Gosh,you have had it rough lately! But the good news is (if you want to call it good news)....................... You sound like your in peri to me. Anger is BAD!! Anxiety is BAD!! And if people look at you the wrong way and you want to kill them...that's peri!! Your not crazy..it's not mental illness..it's just meno. That "what wrong with me" line is used very frequently on these boards. We all have felt like an alien has taken over our bodies and we dont know how to get rid of it. And sometimes it seems to happen overnight. The PMS (anger,anxiety)at this time is not just before your period,now it could come all month long. That is how it was for me when peri first started. I used to be reasonable,calm and cool. Now it does not take much for me to fly off the handle. It's like PMS 24/7, but 50 times worse than regular PMS. As for your marriage, dont know enough to judge, only you can do that. But I just thought I'd clue you in that what your feeling is probably meno. And if your Doc tells you "No" your too young. Most of our Doc's told us the same thing. We were right,Doc's were wrong! Mine started at 39! Let us know what GYN says! Peace & Feel Better AA

[Snowmoon56]

Hi CQ, I could had written your post last week. Of course last week I was on my period, I tell you if I have had a big stick I would had knock my husband in the head. This week I feel like the luckiest women alive with the greatest husband... My husband is such the fair weather friend, when I'm up he's up and vice-vista. I would just love ONCE to be in peri-meno or pms hell and he would try to comfort me.. And boy does he gets on my nerves doing PMS.. Just normal stuff he does drives me nuts even the way he chews his food! I could go on and go but I'm sure you understand. ~C

[chriscarol]

You sound perimenopausal to me. I have the psychiatric version of PMS, so peri has been a nightmare. I always wanted a divorce before my period. He's not perfect, but he's more understanding then most men would have been through this disabling time. I never felt the AD's numbed me, but this is not an uncommon complaint. I just wish the suckers didn't poop out in peri, leaving me up the proverbial creek. In peri, the hormones can over-ride the drugs. I'm so confused half the time, I'm not making any major decisions. PMDD is not listed as a mental disorder, but it is under consideration. It's being argued that it's not politically correct to label hormonal incidents, as a mental illness. I have every last symptom of PMDD. I'm always astounded when women say peri was the first time they felt the impact of hormones emotionally. Yup, and like AA said it could be all month long. I had a couple years that were sheer torture with panic and treatment resistant depression. Heck, I've always been an anxious sort, but this was unprecedented. On the bright side, I hear most women feel better in post that they did pre meno. Please, God, let it be true, as this has sadly been disabling. I fall into the 10% who has had a horrible time. Then again, it could be worse. As a psychiatrist told my sister, "I've had to hospitalize women." My sister is now post and feels so much better.

[chriscarol]

Also, I believe that thyroid testing should be part of a mid life work up in menopausal women. The combo of mild Graves and peri was unbearable. It does get better, but dang this takes a LONG time. Gimmie the magic pill. :?: Oh, I forgot those suckers don't exist for Chris.

[chriscarol]

Chick, Worsening PMS is a BIG sign. I also started having night sweats at around 39, which I think was very early peri. The FSh test is inaccurate, as the nature of peri, is fluctuating hormones. Now if I could get my ideas in one post instead of my jotting style. Always an after thought, I guess.

[chriscarol]

Oh, one more thing calcium has been proven useful in double blind studies for PMS. I've taken it since age 20, but since both sister's have had some type of hormonal trouble, genetic could figure in personally. I also find that eating something healthy, frequently helps, likely by stabilizing my blood sugar. When all else fails, I cry or scream. In double blind studies calcium helped PMS. Since my sisters have suffered hormonally, I believe a genetic component exists for me personally. Exercise can help, as well. When all else fails, I cry or scream. :twisted: :twisted: