What Were You Like Before Menopause Started? Options

[pwbear]

Hi all....I am new to this board but boy am I glad I found you all. I am the 50 yr. mother of 3 twenty something year old children and before all of this menopausal mania began I was a person who could and would do 3 or 4 things at once and then some. Now I am tired, irritable and just downright witchy most of the time.
I loved to travel and now you can barely get me out of the house. I have aches and pains, have developed allergies to medications and have the worse panic attacks that I have ever had. ( I have had attacks since I was 19) I am in therapy for the panic attacks and have seen my GYN and GP at least 20 times over the last 2 yrs. for everything from Fibroids to Xanax! I want to be the person I was 5 years ago but I guess that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I am amazed though at all the women who are saying the same thing. If we are all experiencing the same types of problems why is no one coming up with answers? I cannot take bc due to high blood pressure, and my GYN wants me to get through this naturally so I am dealing with it but there has to be a better answer somewhere for us all!!!

[monica4rd]

Hi

Before perimenopause started for me i was free spirited could do anything, go anywhere, do multiple things at once.

Now i am not free spirited, can't do anything before thinking about it, can't go anywhere with out being terrified, and do things one at a time.

But we must just carry on, we can't just stop living.

[tegansmum]

hi could someone please help me and give any information they can as lm really scared

l am 22 years old l had a baby 10 months ago then went on Depo-provera l came off it 13 weeks before 29th may (bad at maths) they say 2-3 months it wears off and you begin periods but lve only had 2 or 3 spots of blood in last few weeks and l always seem to be really hot and sweaty

please tell me does this sound like menopause?????

lm so worried as l want more kids

pls reply

thanks x

[TidalWaves]

WOW! This sounds JUST like me!! The changes for me have been like day and night. I use to be very caring. Now, I couldn't care less!! The list goes on and on. I guess I'll survive. Somedays I'm not so sure. I think this board will help a lot.

Have a Great Day!!

bev

Hi

Before perimenopause started for me i was free spirited could do anything, go anywhere, do multiple things at once.

Now i am not free spirited, can't do anything before thinking about it, can't go anywhere with out being terrified, and do things one at a time.

But we must just carry on, we can't just stop living.

[wet noodle]

Wow,
I can't believe we all sound so similar - it is somewhat comforting. It would be great to hear from the ones who made it out of this okay and are back to some sort of "normal". I want to know that things are going to be better!
I also was happy, healthy, athletic and full of energy. I was the one who was always arranging activities. I was the one at work that got everything done. I was the one who was always perky. I never went to a Dr. except for annual physicals. Then when I was almost 41 - perimenopause hit me. Of course I didn't know what it was - also went to the hospital with anxiety attacks, etc. - even went to Mayo Clinic. They also put me on antidepressants which never really worked and had lots of side effects. They said I must have had some sort of virus that caused the problems - ha!
Since I have been to lots of doctors, a psychiatrist and a counselor. Most agree its hormones - but don't have a magic solution to cure me. I have been trying natural HRT - but am still on an emotional roller coaster a lot of the time. I may try antidepressants again.
I still try to keep my life somewhat normal - but most people know I am going through a bad time.
I do believe that this will get better!! But I would really like to know when!!
I haven't given up yet!!

I was just wondering since you posted this subject several years ago has anything changed? I am so looking for someone who has been through all this and can let us know if we will ever come through this. ///wet noodle

[magnolia1]

Many of us never really thought much about menopause prior to "being there." And, if we did think about menopause before, it was likely that we thought it would be the end of our periods - and nothing like what it actually is.

As most of us know by now, menopause can be a time of difficult physical, emotional and spiritual changes - changes in temperament, changes in the way we react to everything we're feeling, changes in the way we interact with others - changes in our personalities.

At the same time, a common phrase I've used and believe in is, menopause doesn't happen in a vacuum. We were many things before perimenopause reared its ugly head -- some of us with certain temperaments before any of this started. Some of us always tolerated pain well. Some of us may have lived with more anxiety than the average person. Some of us may have been prone to depression. Many of us had/have more problems in general than the average person before menopause started. Some of us may have had marital difficulties prior to menopause.

One thing that's crystal clear to most of us is that menopause exacerbates ALL the pre-existing problems that existed before the perimenopausal years.

What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?

Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?

Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?

Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?

Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?

None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?

You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember as compared to who you are now.

Thanks

Dearest

This is my first post/reply on this site.... I was diagnosed yesterday as being "in menopause".... my doctor offered me Prempro .625, but I am kind of afraid to take it.... my Mother had breast cancer after taking Premarin for many years.... I am having some hot flashes and all of the vaginal symptions I have read about.... my question is "what will the HRT do for me?".... will it help these symptoms and the emotional and nervous symptoms?.... my friends tell me it made them 100% better.... and do I really NEED the hormones my body no longer produces?.... is there any natural or alternative therapy that will help just as much as the HRT??.... I have so many questions before I make a decision.... is this the right place to get these answers?? I would like to hear from other women who took Prempro and how it made them feel better generally.... I also am having the dryness and problems with intercourse.... anyway, if I'm at the right place, someone let me know and maybe answer some of my questions.... Thanks!

[daisy chain]

Hello everyone!
Before peri I had no boundaries. I had an abusive childhood that carried through to adulthood. One vicious, sick cycle that never ended. I would let people walk all over me becasue I was so desperate for their love. A few years ago, I finally cut off ties with my abusive parent and entered therapy. Now I have boundaries and a "do or die attitude." Either I change now or end up a bitter old lady. Now the people who loved me then, still love me (in fact I feel like they love me more) and I am beginning to love myself! The physical problems, especially exhaustion (I used to be so energetic it annoyed people) but psychologically I think I am finally a happy person.

I was telling my therapist about how I laid everyhting on the table for my husband recently and told him what I wanted from our marriage and asked him if he was in or out (even typing this I can't believe I did that). I said "I think I am having a nmid-life crisis!" and his response was "Thank God!"
Love,
Daisy

[TidalWaves]

OH MY!! I am not even the same person I was 10 years ago!! I almost couldn't care less what people think about me now. Use to be that I was compelled to "step it up a notch" if I even felt like someone was not happy with me. Could never do enough, be enough. I am so NOT like that now. I thought I had lost the ability to love or to care about people, but I think I've just begun to learn that it's ok to take care of myself too. I'm not expected to give and give and give til there's nothing left of me. I can require a little something of others too. I'm sure there's a lot more, but enough said at this time. Very good question. Thanks for asking.

bev

This is my first post/reply on this site.... I was diagnosed yesterday as being "in menopause".... my doctor offered me Prempro .625, but I am kind of afraid to take it.... my Mother had breast cancer after taking Premarin for many years.... I am having some hot flashes and all of the vaginal symptions I have read about.... my question is "what will the HRT do for me?".... will it help these symptoms and the emotional and nervous symptoms?.... my friends tell me it made them 100% better.... and do I really NEED the hormones my body no longer produces?.... is there any natural or alternative therapy that will help just as much as the HRT??.... I have so many questions before I make a decision.... is this the right place to get these answers?? I would like to hear from other women who took Prempro and how it made them feel better generally.... I also am having the dryness and problems with intercourse.... anyway, if I'm at the right place, someone let me know and maybe answer some of my questions.... Thanks!

[Miss Tibbs]

I have changed a lot since I started feeling the symptoms of menopause. I used to be much more cheerful and outgoing--I think I had a great sense of humor. I was sure of myself--had definite opinions--actually cared about what was going on. Menopause has turned me into scaredy cat who doesn't care much about what is going on in the world. I seem more self centered--and much less sure of myself. I don't like to go out--I don't even like answering the phone. I do things now because I have to--I really can't think of anything I want to do. I've dropped my hobbies due to lack of interest. I just exist--and not very comfortably. I don't like me without estrogen. What a sucky system hormones turned out to be. If I had more energy, I'd be angry.

Miss Tibbs

[Buttercup7]

......................

What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?

Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?

Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?

Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?

Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?

None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?

You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember as compared to who you are now.

Thanks

Dearest

"Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?

I'm a LOT more fearful now, but before the change began I had MANY female problems that were abnormal and/or that were caused by sexual abuse that nearly ended my life. These were terribly painful.

I'm more fearful now because I realize there are fewer years in front of me now than years behind. I'm mortal and those generations that preceding me are now fading or gone from this earth. They have 'passed the baton' and we now carry it.

Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?

I had to go a lot before, but there was an enormous period of time when I lived in extreme poverty and could not go. Last year, at age 59, when panic attacks began in heavier earnest than even before (I was also still on HRT) I was taken to the emergency room and then onward to many more doctors after many years. That experience left me even more bewildered, and terrified than I had been before. I apologize, but I do not believe I want to return to any of them and am at a point where I feel I might be better off living obliviously than to the horrific terror all those visits and tests generated.

Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Yes, definitely, but after coming to this forum and reading what so many other women are reporting, I am learning to ignore many 'symptoms' that are clearly not yet killing me, or accepting them more as annoying.

Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
I don't think I'm actually different now, but certainly more assertive. I was much more quiet and reserved before menopause began. I was more often than pretty shy, though never sexually inhibited. I felt that what wanted to say would be interpreted by others as foolish or an unimportant waste of their time. However, I had also been raised in the Near East (not in the United States) and women were not permitted to view men in the eyes nor permitted to speak. While I'm much more assertive, I am certainly NOT a challenge for some of the great women posting here....I greatly admire them and they are my heros!

[resam10]

First there is some of me that has not changed. I call it my "basic born bred Personality". I still laugh real easy, and can be gullable. But Lord yes, I go to the doctor a lot more than I used to. I fear everynight that I have some dreadful disease, may not wake up, scared to shower or bath because If I dropped over dead someone would see me naked; sometimes I am afraid to leave the house, and don't enjoy being around people as much as I used to. My patience has grown thin, and I have no tolerance. I had tons of tolerance. I get mad easy, I have aches and pains coming from no where, and I freak out. I now feel like I have lived to be almost 50 years old, and my life is not invinsible like I once thought it was. Time is shortening for my life due to age and I can not come to terms with it, part of me feels mentally like I am still that girl in high school, but my body changes are telling me I can't do everything I used to. So I am frightened. Reality isn't always an easy thing to cope with. It seemed like yesterday the kids were born, and now they are gone. I have more panic, anxiety, wondering if my purpose will never be known or figured out by me, and that I am wasting my life. Truly, I am thankful. For each day I wake up, I breath, and I can walk. What more could I ask for????
Everyone once came to me for confidence and reasurance, and now I am questioning every feeling, what was that zap in my head, what was that twitch in my face, why am I hot one moment so much that sweat drips down my legs and back, and the next minute I am fine. Why am I so tired? Why does work make me want to scream, am I going to lose control, I am holding it in so well that I think one day I will just scream at someone out loud. I dont know what a damn orgasim is anymore, I think I saw one happening on TV the other day but it was on "Happy Days". One thing that may be positive about this change, is that no one walks all over me anymore. And if you knew me and my past, you would know that I have been used and walked on, back stabbed, etc for most of my life by people I least expected. I played dumb and stupid and silly to win friends. I was known as the dingy one, the silly one, the gullable one, the one who could be malipunated so very easy. Well that never happens anymore, and I have lost friends because of it. Not to worry thought, they never really cared anyway, I was just easy to use for money, or loaning everyone everything they wanted. I was the life and laughter of the party. That is gone. Things look more serious to me now, I still laugh over and over at the same re run of shows, giggle with my husband and kids. But I dont' let myself out there anymore with anyone like I used to. I was an open book, now I am a buried treasure that will endure, that will get past this phase of life, and will come out a better person, finding my true self for the first time. If one doctor doesn't tell me what I think I have, I go to another, then another. Really gotta stop doing that. I don't feel as guilty over everything like I used to, I am too busy being mad. I was there for everyone, and now where are they for me?? No where. (family). I've gained weight, can't concentrate or remember as long as I used to, and tired of doctors looking at me like I am a wierdo. One doctor actually started closing his eyes as if to doze off while I was talking to him. But once again, apparently hormones are normal, everything is normal, you are fine, you are just stressed, just calm down, dont think about it. Tired of hearing that. I just dont' feel as nice as I used to. And that makes me feel sad.

[old hippie chick]

What an interesting thread! I so enjoy reading others' posts about how their lives have or have not changed with menopause. I find that I am mostly the same person I was before, but there are issues I never expected and didn't know how to deal with. I never used to think about an ache or a pain...now I do give it a second thought occasionally. I have never been one to go to the doctor very often, and I go even less now! I am finally starting to understand that the majority of what I'm experiencing at 3-years post is very common and not life-threatening. It's comforting to read the thoughts and feelings of women who have experienced the same things in their lives and who can be so candid, open and honest about it.

[Kewpie]

I am 50.5 years old and started perimenopause one month ago. My husband and I were married three years ago after dating for two years. Its a second marriage for us both and from the time we started dating we were very passionate. I am still very attracted to him but have so many hot flashes that sex has become a chore or something that has to be coordinated between hotflashes which just seems to take something away. It seems my husband (as do so many men) just gets better looking as the years go by and for the first time in my life I'm feeling a bit insecure about my looks and my sexuality. He assures me that I'm "still the one" and I believe it. I think I'm just having a difficult time with symptoms of perimenopause.

We live in Sub-saharan Africa for his job so I do not have access to medical care on par with the U.S. As a result, I have found all of my menopause support online and by emailing girlfriends back home. I speedwalk for two hours six days a week and stay in reasonably good shape but still have severe hotflashes and chills. I don't drink caffeine or alchol, eat very few sweets and drink loads of water. I have hot flashes every half hour that last for about two minutes followed by about 15 minutes of severe chills - then I'm normal until the next flash. My husband is very supportive and we both have tried to see the humor in what I'm experiencing but sometimes it gets me down. I will be VERY happy when this perimenopause is over and I "reach the other side."

[TidalWaves]

What was I like before menopause started??

Well, I'd like to think I was at least halfway sane!!

Now, I'm all the way insane!!

bev

[BellaScarlett]

What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?

Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?

[i]I'm definitely more fearful about health stuff now; seems there is always something new happening to try to figure out.


Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?

I faithfully went to the chiropractor after having been in several car accidents, but didn't go much to the MD. I still don't go often, but more than previously.


Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?

I think the anxiety has made me question whether there is something really wrong with me.


Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?

Because I had a hysterectomy at 45 (53 now), I don't know where I am in the whole process. but I would have to say I'm a very different person. Things do not roll off any longer. I am aware of every little thing and react to everything: heat, cold, noise, light, smells, CLOTHING TAGS, activity levels of others around me, motion. I feel like the princess in the "Princess and the Pea!" I am not as spontaneous, adventurous or any fun at all!


None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?

I think I was more fun to be around, more energetic and eager to try new things. I am so boring now, and too introspective.

I have blamed much of the way I feel now on circumstances in my life. I had been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. We had three children together, but an unhappy marriage. I divorced him and remarried a good guy, but my ex died within a year of my remarriage. My children had a very difficult time for quite a few years and I still carry guilt over the divorce. I have moved several times dues to hubby's job changes and do not live near family or friends. Our last move was just two years ago and I have found it very difficult at this point in time to make good friends. I don't have a support system like I had back home. My children are all out of the nest and living in other cities, so I don't see them often, but we do have good relationships. And the biggest whammie was my hubby's prostate cancer four years ago. He had to have surgery which left him with ED. None of the dr.'s solutions to the problem have worked and we have exhausted the alternatives. It has been a real blow from which neither of us has recovered.

So, a complicated emo stew. Now, menopause?? S$@t!![/i]


You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember biggrin.gif as compared to who you are now.

[mookiehantamom]

Many of us never really thought much about menopause prior to "being there." And, if we did think about menopause before, it was likely that we thought it would be the end of our periods - and nothing like what it actually is.

As most of us know by now, menopause can be a time of difficult physical, emotional and spiritual changes - changes in temperament, changes in the way we react to everything we're feeling, changes in the way we interact with others - changes in our personalities.

At the same time, a common phrase I've used and believe in is, menopause doesn't happen in a vacuum. We were many things before perimenopause reared its ugly head -- some of us with certain temperaments before any of this started. Some of us always tolerated pain well. Some of us may have lived with more anxiety than the average person. Some of us may have been prone to depression. Many of us had/have more problems in general than the average person before menopause started. Some of us may have had marital difficulties prior to menopause.

One thing that's crystal clear to most of us is that menopause exacerbates ALL the pre-existing problems that existed before the perimenopausal years.

What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?

Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?

Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?

Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?

Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?

None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?

You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember as compared to who you are now.

Thanks

Dearest

dearest:
i was super woman b 4 meno . did all 4 everyone else . totally fearless . didn't give palps or pains a second thought . now i go no were alone , cry a lot have anxiety daily , have horrible thoughts , feelings of dread and death, yes think my heart will stop , yes think i may have a disease drs can not detect , i only just started driving again after a year , but never alone , yet !!!!! however i do appreciate life more . no matter i just want out and thru with this nightmare .

mookiehantamom@yahoo.com ( roxanne age 49 mother of 5 33 thru 15 )

[teaformaggie]

Sometimes i can hardly remember who i was before meno. All i know is that I definately wasnt who I am now.

I used to be a free spirit going with the flow and now i have anxiety all of the time. I am constantly worried about everything. I was always in fairly great shape and never had any ailments... now i am in pain all of the time and i just always seem to be sick. ugh!!

Being as young as I am (21) I feel more seperated from others my age. It feels like i have nothing in common with them. Of course thats not true but thats the way i feel.

I know that i will soon be ok and I am trying to be strong for myself. I need to do some major life style changes, it would have been nice to of had more planning time for this midlife crisis.

This site is going to be my cruch for a little while, i am greatful to have stumbled upon it.

thank you ladies.

[MaggieMayI]

Before menopause..... I was full of energy, (maybe too much) loved to go, to do, and a bit of a brat. I enjoyed pulling pranks on people: putting 'For Sale' signs in my neighbors yard for his ornaments (he asked for it first), making prank calls to my friends (I'm sure they asked for it too) and hiding behind doors to jump out and scare my dh (we all know he had it coming!) Now I fear upsetting anyone, and it takes to much energy to be a brat. Most of my energy now goes to pulling weeds to work out my anxieties; my gardens, my daughters gardens, and on bad months, even my daughter's mother in law's garden.

I was inventive: drawing, painting, decorating the house, explored in cooking and baking, sewed cloths for my kids even though I was not experienced at sewing, helped my dad and dh work on cars..... can't was not in my vocabulary. Now I worry I will mess the pattern up by just cutting it out. In all fairness, I do believe I lost a lot of love of cooking when the doctors started telling dh and I all the things we should no longer have. I still do a little tole painting and some quilting.

Loved camping, horse back riding, fast cars, and playful dogs. Now I would rather enjoy the back yard (uneasy about getting out and about), horses are too jaring, safety counts over fast when in the car, and instead of running and jumping with the dogs, I stay stationary and throw the ball for the dog to retrieve. Again, I can't blame all of this on meno, I have RA and I have had intestines removed during two different surgeries (believe I have 6 ft left). Each of these factors put some limits that you didn't have before.

When I first noticed I was getting more serious and irritable, I thought it was because I was working outside the home, raising daughters, and still doing my wifey and mommy duties while keeping the house and cooking up. When I started having night sweats and asked the doctor about it, he said I was to young to be going through a change. The next hit was the hot flashes and I was getting impatient. I didn't mind helping people at work or at home but I didn't want to repeat myself, so listen and learn the first time. I noticed I was going into my dark closet more often and shutting the door behind me!

On a good note: my cycles were hard hitting; I flowed hard, I cramped hard and I could bite bullets in half. During the week prior, I was totally unstable and the week after, I was totally depressed. (If I remember correctly.) I no longer have to endure the cramps or heavy flowing, and my mood swings are not as intense. I can now tell when my mood slumps in a direction that is not beneficial to me or my family and I take the time to care for me. I now realize that I have to see to the needs of my body and mind before I can take care of the one's around me. (Thanks to what I have learned on this site!)

[JocelanT]

I look back at myself and I don't know who that other person was . . . it's a very strange feeling, like I have no idea on earth who I was, what I was like or who I am now or
what I'm like now. The only way I can put it is that often I just don't feel real to myself . . .

I do know I am much more fearful now -- of doing new things, changing jobs, etc, etc. Suddenly I feel like I can't do anything, I used to be quite confident in many ways
but now I'm lost, I feel very ungrounded and unsure.

Re doctors and illnesses etc, now I'm always scared that I have a fatal disease or that I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack. I don't even go to the doctor
because I'm too anxious about going.

There are positives though -- I think that before I did alot of things because they were expected, or to be liked, or to get along with people, or to be respected etc etc. --
I look back and sometimes think was I just a robot, did I do everything to please my parents or my friends or my boyfriend etc

Now I sometimes see (in my lucid moments which are few but at least they're really strong and clear) that I'm changing without even realizing it -- I am finding out what I really
think and what I really care about and don't care about etc etc etc -- now I am caring less and less of what other people think. I feel silly for saying this because I'm almost
50 but it's only now that I strongly see that I only have to follow my own values, beliefs, wants, I can just be who I am rather than looking to anybody or anything to tell me who
I am or who I should be. Problem is how do I follow myself if I have no idea who or where or how myself is It's a gong show on my planet definitely.

cheers
Jocelan

[lilyfields]

Hi all....I am new to this board but boy am I glad I found you all. I am the 50 yr. mother of 3 twenty something year old children and before all of this menopausal mania began I was a person who could and would do 3 or 4 things at once and then some. Now I am tired, irritable and just downright witchy most of the time.
I loved to travel and now you can barely get me out of the house. I have aches and pains, have developed allergies to medications and have the worse panic attacks that I have ever had. ( I have had attacks since I was 19) I am in therapy for the panic attacks and have seen my GYN and GP at least 20 times over the last 2 yrs. for everything from Fibroids to Xanax! I want to be the person I was 5 years ago but I guess that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I am amazed though at all the women who are saying the same thing. If we are all experiencing the same types of problems why is no one coming up with answers? I cannot take bc due to high blood pressure, and my GYN wants me to get through this naturally so I am dealing with it but there has to be a better answer somewhere for us all!!!

I want to reply to this blog because sometimes hormones really really help, and you can manage the blood pressure with medication. Why should anyone tough it out when there is help available? I had a hysterectomy and had terrible menopausal side effects. I think I would have gone crazy without hormones at the time. Just want to help. Love, Lilyfields xo

[creevesblues]

I've always been pretty even tempered with a good sense of humor. Other people have characterized me as sweet, kind, thoughtful, and maybe a little shy. I would say that I have been assertive and shared my opinion when I thought it was appropriate. Since I've started having all of these perimenopausal symptoms I found myself angry a lot for no apparent reason, very impatient, grumpy, and ornery. I've become more aggressive in my communication and actions. I catch myself going "there" and try hard to reel it back in, but I don't always succeed.

Before these problems I gave quite a bit of thought to my "look". I took more care and pride in my appearance. Now I just do what I need to in order to be presentable. There are times when I couldn't care less about what other people think and then times when I feel worried that others think I'm crazy. I have always been pretty practical, but definitely open minded about things in general. Now, I find my self teetering back and forth with logical reasonable thoughts about being able to handle all of these symptoms and finding a good balance and going completely berserk.

I never liked going to the doctor's office and didn't go for many years, but in the last 3 or 4 years have been quite a few times. In the past I tried to make use of diet and home remedies or just wait out a bad cold. I've been to a doctor more recently for little things like an ear infection and poison sumac. Then the increased problems with my cycle drove me to seek help from my doctor. I have recently been diagnosed with uterine fibroids, ovarian cyst, and a thick lining of my uterus. So, I am understandably nervous and concerned. I go from realizing that fibroids and cyst are usually benign to being freaked out.

In the last year or so I have lost interest in several hobbies and things that brought me creative satisfaction and joy. I try to revisit them, but I can't seem to really get motivated to start them up again. My grandma often invoked the saying, "this too, shall pass" when things were bad and I tend to feel the same way. I hope she and I are right.

I tend to be a private person and have never blogged, or posted items before; although I do email and chat with close friends and family sometimes. I find myself feeling pretty isolated even though I have close friends. I usually don't share much about health problems or concerns with them, as I am usually the one others come to when they need to share. I often feel that I don't want to bother them with my problems. Most of my friends are much younger or much older than me (I will be 40 in Jan). I don't really have anyone my age as a close friend. This site has been an unbelievable source of information, help, support and empowerment for me. Thank you all for sharing so openly and honestly.

[Interactive]

Have just seen Jodie Foster's new film advertised with the words:

At any moment

The person you thought you were

Can Vanish!

Why did it make me think first and foremost of peri and menopause?!! Foster's 45 years old this year. The ads show a middle aged woman and I'm thinking "Yep, sure can. I've been there". Then I find out the film's about a 45 year old woman becoming a vigilante!! "Bit extreme for menopause" is what I'm thinking.

Had to have a laugh and share it here. I'm sure the film makers are oblivious of this interpretation of their advertising.

[ELLIE G]

To MyDarling and sisters in menopause, I am just trying to cling on to the memory of what I was like before my ovaries started to shut down over two years ago at age fifty. I am angry that all of this has hit me when I feel I had, over the years hit my peak in terms of confidence. Now I feel I am travelling backwards whereas before I was travelling forwards, if that makes any sense! I have to remind myself that it is the cascade of hormones that come into play that are causing all of these very unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms. With me it happened with a big crash as I hit my final period. I looked in the mirror and it was like aging very quickly in a matter of months. I am still looking for the answers because I dont want to be like this for the rest of my life. I want to know what the secret is with these women who never seem to change, women on the political stage for instance, I am intrigued how they keep going at such a high level - why dont they let us in on their secrets or are they just darned lucky? Thanks for the support of this wonderful site. Simba 2, U.K.

[ELLIE G]

HI ELLIE G HERE IAM AMAZED IVE MANAGED TO DO THIS MY MINDS LIKE MUSH AT THE MOMENT AM HOPELESS WITH COMPUTERS ,JUST LIKE TO SAY WHAT AGOD SEND THIS SITE IS .YOU LOVELY LADIES HAVE SAVED ME FROM MADNESS !!! LOL. BEFORE PERI MY DAUGHTER AND I WOULD SHOP TIL WE DROPPED ,CANT GO IN A SHOP NOW I TURN INTO A QUIVERING WRECK JUST THINKING ABOUT IT .DONT REALLY WANT TO GO OUT OF MYCOMFORT ZONE I AM ANXIOUS NEARLY ALL THE TIME .I AM GLAD I HAVE ASUPPORTIVE FAMILY OR ITHINK I COULD GET DEPRESSED I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK . I WANT TO GET IN THE CAR WITH HUBBY AND GO OUT FOR A MEAL , OR GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND . JUST ANYTHING NORMAL .ITS NOT ME BEING LIKE THIS . I WAS FUN LOVING OUTGOING AND I FEEL AS IF I HAVE LOST ME. AND I WANT ME BACK.

[MaggieMayI]

HI ELLIE G HERE IAM AMAZED IVE MANAGED TO DO THIS MY MINDS LIKE MUSH AT THE MOMENT AM HOPELESS WITH COMPUTERS ,JUST LIKE TO SAY WHAT AGOD SEND THIS SITE IS .YOU LOVELY LADIES HAVE SAVED ME FROM MADNESS !!! LOL. BEFORE PERI MY DAUGHTER AND I WOULD SHOP TIL WE DROPPED ,CANT GO IN A SHOP NOW I TURN INTO A QUIVERING WRECK JUST THINKING ABOUT IT .DONT REALLY WANT TO GO OUT OF MYCOMFORT ZONE I AM ANXIOUS NEARLY ALL THE TIME .I AM GLAD I HAVE ASUPPORTIVE FAMILY OR ITHINK I COULD GET DEPRESSED I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK . I WANT TO GET IN THE CAR WITH HUBBY AND GO OUT FOR A MEAL , OR GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND . JUST ANYTHING NORMAL .ITS NOT ME BEING LIKE THIS . I WAS FUN LOVING OUTGOING AND I FEEL AS IF I HAVE LOST ME. AND I WANT ME BACK.

Congratulations Ellie, I think you have just taken one giant step in commanding your life back.

I felt the same way when I first found PS, what a life saver. I too thought I was going mental. I believe by making a post, you have started your way to healing.

Reading posts helped me a lot but by adding posts, I started feeling like I was slowly gaining my life back. Its nice to feel some confidence again. As soon as I found these other people going through the same dark, foggy tunnel that I was, I had a sense of fellowship. I wasn't alone in the world after all and if I was going crazy, hey, I have a lot of fine people going with me. That alone helped calm a great deal of the stress and dropped my depression on its face.

I hope you start feeling the same strength come to you, I believe you will the more you read and post. Maybe we'll hear you all the way in the U.S. yelling, "I am woman!"

Best wishes, PS-sister, Maggie

[ELLIE G]

Congratulations Ellie, I think you have just taken one giant step in commanding your life back.

I felt the same way when I first found PS, what a life saver. I too thought I was going mental. I believe by making a post, you have started your way to healing.

Reading posts helped me a lot but by adding posts, I started feeling like I was slowly gaining my life back. Its nice to feel some confidence again. As soon as I found these other people going through the same dark, foggy tunnel that I was, I had a sense of fellowship. I wasn't alone in the world after all and if I was going crazy, hey, I have a lot of fine people going with me. That alone helped calm a great deal of the stress and dropped my depression on its face.

I hope you start feeling the same strength come to you, I believe you will the more you read and post. Maybe we'll hear you all the way in the U.S. yelling, "I am woman!"

Best wishes, PS-sister, Maggie

[ELLIE G]

maggie may1. thankyou very much for your kind words.its true that if you did not read the messages you would think you were going mad ! IT IS NICE TO KNOW THAT WE ARRE NOT SUFFERING ALONE i think here in england a lot of women dont talk about how bad they are feeling a lot of things get swept under the carpet if you know what imean its as if they are embarresed about the change , iknow i am with alot of people.especially some of my family because alot of them pooh pooh things as if to say its nothing pull yourself together so i tend to avoid them when i can . idont think i am a negative person but you get vibes off people dont you. any way i have a dear friend who after a surgical menopause has had abad time and is still on hrt after 15 years she is my rock . its ashame my sis dont talk really much about her meno she just says it will pass but iremember her coming home from work shattered and going to bed for a few hours . and dont even get me started on my mum ihavent seen her for weeks she makes me feel ill. so i feel guilty because dad died 2 and a half years ago so the anxiety starts ifeel illl when i see her ill when i dont but she is such a negative person any way sorry to ramble on thankyou ellieG (GOT IRONING TO DO ) WOULD BE ON COMPUTER ALL DAY BUT SOMEONES GOT TO DO IT LOL .

[wet noodle]

Congratulations Ellie, I think you have just taken one giant step in commanding your life back.

I felt the same way when I first found PS, what a life saver. I too thought I was going mental. I believe by making a post, you have started your way to healing.

Reading posts helped me a lot but by adding posts, I started feeling like I was slowly gaining my life back. Its nice to feel some confidence again. As soon as I found these other people going through the same dark, foggy tunnel that I was, I had a sense of fellowship. I wasn't alone in the world after all and if I was going crazy, hey, I have a lot of fine people going with me. That alone helped calm a great deal of the stress and dropped my depression on its face.

I hope you start feeling the same strength come to you, I believe you will the more you read and post. Maybe we'll hear you all the way in the U.S. yelling, "I am woman!"

Best wishes, PS-sister, Maggie

[wet noodle]

HI ELLIE G HERE IAM AMAZED IVE MANAGED TO DO THIS MY MINDS LIKE MUSH AT THE MOMENT AM HOPELESS WITH COMPUTERS ,JUST LIKE TO SAY WHAT AGOD SEND THIS SITE IS .YOU LOVELY LADIES HAVE SAVED ME FROM MADNESS !!! LOL. BEFORE PERI MY DAUGHTER AND I WOULD SHOP TIL WE DROPPED ,CANT GO IN A SHOP NOW I TURN INTO A QUIVERING WRECK JUST THINKING ABOUT IT .DONT REALLY WANT TO GO OUT OF MYCOMFORT ZONE I AM ANXIOUS NEARLY ALL THE TIME .I AM GLAD I HAVE ASUPPORTIVE FAMILY OR ITHINK I COULD GET DEPRESSED I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK . I WANT TO GET IN THE CAR WITH HUBBY AND GO OUT FOR A MEAL , OR GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND . JUST ANYTHING NORMAL .ITS NOT ME BEING LIKE THIS . I WAS FUN LOVING OUTGOING AND I FEEL AS IF I HAVE LOST ME. AND I WANT ME BACK.

Hi , so glad to hear i am not the only idiot who can't go shopping anymore. Also My wedding anniversary is coming up and I have the most wonderful husband , we even have a free night at a hotel and I don't even want to go. I am just no fun to be around. I dream of all the things I would like to do but then i just sit back and feel my body sink. I just wish someone would let us know if things get better and do we ever want to do things again. //wet noodle

[ELLIE G]

Hi , so glad to hear i am not the only idiot who can't go shopping anymore. Also My wedding anniversary is coming up and I have the most wonderful husband , we even have a free night at a hotel and I don't even want to go. I am just no fun to be around. I dream of all the things I would like to do but then i just sit back and feel my body sink. I just wish someone would let us know if things get better and do we ever want to do things again. //wet noodle

hi wet noodle do you feel like you are going to freak out when you go in to places ? if i start flushing i just go into panic mode and the classic fight or flight kicks in, and flight usually wins i guess i am scared to fight because of what might happen to me .this all started nearly a year ago on holiday with hubby i had a funny do .i went all cold sweaty and nearly fainted and thats really scared me .then a few weeks after that my daughter and i went shopping and i felt all wierd ,legs like jelly tingly warm wierd tingly sensation in my head so had to come out of the shopping center. and this has happened everytime i go in somewhere ,and its warm i start flushing i just have to get out of there ASAP!!!....... im sure its hormonal anxiety. i wish i had the guts to stay and see .what would happen .but im not quite ready yet .....anyway the men in white coats might come take me away.............lol , keep your chin up i know its really hard to do so especially if you have had a bad day ...................................yours ellie ..............ha ha i nearly wrote nellie