What Were You Like Before Menopause Started? Options

[Jubilee]

Hi, it's me again (can't sleep, remember?

I was sitting here thinking about how our hormones vary so much from one another, and how we probably experienced our menstrual cycles differently from each other when we were young, and how that might influence what physical symptoms we experience when we go through menopause?

My biggest problem all my life was that I had heavy periods, especially on the second day. I didn't have cramps, and I didn't have PMS. During the times I was on birth control pills, my periods calmed down a bit. But I was always a 'super tampax with nighttime pad' user, especially the first couple of days.

And this heavy or breakthrough bleeding seems to be my cross to bear during my peri-menopause years. Once, when I was 43 years old, I bled way past 7 days, and had to visit the doctor for a hormone shot, and was back on birth control pills for 3 months before things calmed back down.

My daughters have not had these type of experiences. My oldest daughter would get terrible cramps, to the point of laying on the couch moaning with a heating pad on her tummy. Ibuprofen, herbal teas, Midol -- these were her constant companions. But her periods were light, and didn't last a full week like mine always did. She also suffered emotionally with the Depo-Provera shots when she was an adult, even to the point of being diagnosed as Bi-polar (but when the doctor took her off the hormones, her symptoms abated).

My 16 year old has occasional cramps, but nothing severe. Her periods are light, and last about 4 or 5 days.

Why I'm the bleeder in the family, I don't know, but I'm sure it has to do with hormone balances (or imbalances).

Similar to how we experience our pregnancies? I had no difficulties with pregnancy, other than occasional swollen feet. I'm very tall, so had lots of room in my torso to carry babies, I guess. I had all 3 children naturally, and don't have any horror labor stories to recount. But post-partum -- you guessed it, I bled like a stuck pig (even with breast-feeding, which is supposed to help the uterus to contract). For 6 weeks post-partum, I would try to stay home as much as possible (because I would pass clots at the most embarrassing times), and had no energy. I would be emotionally labile, and really wasn't fit to be around anyone, especially my family.

So, I'm thinking that of course I would have problems with breakthrough bleeding or non-stop bleeding at the age of 51? But not have horrible mood swings or hot flashes? (which I don't). I see a pattern here.

[alice3]

[Nevermore]

I was mixed. There were lots of times I was very cheerful. I had a great run of years from around 1994 to somewhere in 2002.

I was devastated in 2002 when after months of struggle we had our little cat (just turned 3) die of horrible cancer. (I thought maybe we shouldn't have forced him to struggle so. But he wanted to live. Even on his last day. Same thing with another cat a few years earlier. That little guy wanted to stay with us, too. He was an angel. Both were angels.)

In 2003 my father had a stroke and it's been hospital runs ever since.

So, a cheered myself up with wine. Did I know what I was doing? Yes and no. (I quit in September 06 when I got hit with a ton of meno bricks.)

I think I might have been a bit angry or something also before meno. I was quick to flare at given times (maybe it was pre-pre-meno? PMS?).

I'm really humble now. I realize there's nothing wrong with humility.

[alice3]

I personally think it's something traumatic that kicks it off!

[Nevermore]

I personally think it's something traumatic that kicks it off!

I think it must come into play. Something traumatic or a bunch of stressful things where you haven't got time to recover in between. It's this latter situation that I felt. But, who knows.

[Leslieanne]

I keep seeing references to peri or post menopause--what is it called when you're right in it now? Is that post? No matter how long it's been? Just trying to figure out the lingo used in here.

[dcamp]

Hi Leslieanne,

I, too, was confused with these terms when I first started with all of the symptoms.

Peri is the time leading up to menopause, when you first start noticing differences in your cycles or just in your over all well-being. We all go through this differently----some have a harder time than others. Perimenopause may last several years---that is you may notice the symptoms for quite some time.

Post is once you have gone 12 consecutive months without a period and are "officially" in menopause. I hope this helps.

Have a good day.

Donna

[dcamp]

[b][font=Book Antiqua][size=7]

Hello

[BrandyBobsLady]

Before I entered into this stage of my life I definitely had a ton more energy than I do now. I got my periods regularly ever since my second son was born so I could count on when it'd be here. I was only overly emotional just before my period and I'd be tired only a few days before or during and I'd do nothing but want to sleep. I'd also get into cleaning mode too just before my period arrived. Now I haven't had a period since June 2006 but am achy and stiff, tired ALL the time, getting those hot flashes, night sweats off and on, not sleeping all that great (meaning I wake up often during the night even with a cpap). I get the stupid heart palpitations and feeling of fear even though I am not afraid. I get the fear of dying syndrome. I have always had mood swings (from the PMS days) but have done a really good job of controlling them. If I got overly testy I would take it out on an empty room and not the ones I love. Still do to this day. I get it out of my system.

Before I was a normal woman going about my daily routine. Enjoying my son and living life. The one bright side is the man I met going on eight months and enjoying the time we spend together. He is older than me by 8 years and experiences the hot flashes and moodiness too...woohoo!!! So he knows what I am going through.

[Debster52]

Before meno started and now - interesting topic. I am 49 now, will be 50 halfway through this year, and in peri, still having regular periods, no skipping or anything,thougha little heavier, and having some night sweats and a couple of days of depression etc a month, but on the whole nothing too much to complain about.
I have changed, a lot. I have more aches and pains, and periods seem to have more significance now - when will they end, will I have much clotting this month? etc etc, but I have changed in many other ways too. I am in many ways more confident, more sure of myself and care less what others think of me. I remember my Mum telling me that this happened as you got older, and now I see it to be true. I am more willing to try new things,and more intent on enjoying life. We are more than halfway through at this stage, presumably, so I want to enjoy this latter stage! I don't feel 'old' or even middle aged,and I want to make the most of the years left to me. Having lost 2 friends under 50 recently, I know the importance of living life, as we don't know how long we have, and we have a long old age, then all the better to look back on good times!
Oh and the other thing about this is that I am more open with my feelings etc, cry more, when I need to, and am more affectionate with friends and family, so for me, I do not feel my changes have been negative ones, or that I have lost 'me', in many ways I feel that now I have found 'me' !!

Hi I read your post with interest. I am going to be 52 in August and I still have my monthly event every month like clock work. I too worry about the heavy bleeding and clotting. My Doctor said that she thought it was due to perimenopausal time in my life. I do seem to have the aches and pains you speak of. Let me know your thoughts

[kimberly ann]

What was i like before menopause?
I was a happy,confident,energetic,strong,and balanced person! I hope to be that person again soon!
I'll keep praying

[Debster52]

What was i like before menopause?
I was a happy,confident,energetic,strong,and balanced person! I hope to be that person again soon!
I'll keep praying

Hi Kimberly Ann....Sorry I keep missing you in the chat! I know what you mean about being all those things. And then this peri stuff hits. But keep your chin up my friend and it will all work out.

Deb

[Wii]

I guess to the world I was compliant yet miserable. Now, post MP I am just miserable. I can't be bothered to be compliant anymore all that did was make me MORE miserable.

[Allsorts]

I guess to the world I was compliant yet miserable. Now, post MP I am just miserable. I can't be bothered to be compliant anymore all that did was make me MORE miserable.

Ditto.

Before I had lots of energy and mostly I always had things to look forward to. I had an excellent memory and laughed a lot more. Now, I procrastinate and never get anything done am always tired and can't remember anything.

[nic]

Before menopause I was exercising almost every day and that made me feel happy and energetic.
Now after exercising (not even half of what I used to do) I will feel tired practically all day, like if I have climbed the Mount Everest!

[EileenG]

Before menopause I was exercising almost every day and that made me feel happy and energetic.
Now after exercising (not even half of what I used to do) I will feel tired practically all day, like if I have climbed the Mount Everest!

Hi Everyone.
I haven't posted for a long time because I thought menopause was behind me. Then I had to go off estrogen after 5 years and I'm miserable again. I am having hot flashes. night sweats and anxiety again. I get a zapping feeling in my head just before the hot flash starts. So weird!
Anyway, I'll be 60 next month and I thought this was over. Anyone else having to go through estrogen with-drawal?
I use to be out-going, social, emotional, nuturing and just generally a different person than I am now. I have a fear of death that will strike in the middle of the night. I don't want to see anyone or plan anything. I feel like social obligations are a burden. I'm just not the person I use to be. On the other hand, I've become more independent, I value my time more and I love spending time with my Grandbabies. My husband of 40 years and I have a great relationship and I am coming to terms with my less than supple body.
I love solitude now and I don't seem to need a lot of company on a daily basis.
The jury is still out on which person I like best --but I think I'll have to learn to like the new me best!
Thanks to all of you who posted here. You made me feel a lot better.

[joliejacq]

Hi (((EILEEN))),

I'm surprised (and pleased) to see an old Power-Surge friend again! Sorry that it's under these circumstances, but you see that I'm still here too, after a couple stretches of being away.

So sorry you're contending with the same stuff again, and I pray you'll feel better soon.

I know what you mean about the "pre"-menopause us versus the "post"-menopause us. We aren't the same for what we've gone through, are we? There are some losses, but as you point out, there are some real joys in having given up some of the things we thought were soooo important in the past.

Hugs to you, and may we both (and all of us here on P-S!) feel like our "true" selves soon.

JJ

[EileenG]

Hi (((EILEEN))),

I'm surprised (and pleased) to see an old Power-Surge friend again! Sorry that it's under these circumstances, but you see that I'm still here too, after a couple stretches of being away.

So sorry you're contending with the same stuff again, and I pray you'll feel better soon.

I know what you mean about the "pre"-menopause us versus the "post"-menopause us. We aren't the same for what we've gone through, are we? There are some losses, but as you point out, there are some real joys in having given up some of the things we thought were soooo important in the past.

Hugs to you, and may we both (and all of us here on P-S!) feel like our "true" selves soon.

JJ

Hi Jolie!
Thanks for the welcome support. Yes, it has been awhile since I've been here. I miss all of you!
I'm trying to be more positive about the good things that post-menopause brings. Some days it's not as easy as others --especially with my memory!
Anyway -- hope you are doing well. Thanks again for your sweet reply.
Hugs to you too!
Love, E.

[tiredenglishwoma...]

Hello everyone!! I was outgoing and sociable and loved life and now all i want to do is hide and sleep!!!................Ive been sooooooooo down since this started, doc has put me on on anti deppressant, 6 days ago and i just wish for it to kick in!!!,,,,,I feel ashamed because I dont even want my family near me???.............oh, and a sick feeling in my stomach too!! My periods are very all over the place too!! I want ME back!!! Please help me find her!! ..............
Cheers ladies!! Sue xxxxxxxx

[jennysb]

http://www.power-surge.com/php/forums/styl...default/sad.gif
http://www.power-surge.com/php/forums/styl...default/sad.gif


I'm going mad -
I'm 42 menopause is just kicking in -
I'm paranoid, sad, angry, everything basically -
And I've just had a go at my husband and he's walked out....
I can't control it any more -
Not sure what to do -
I'd like to crawl under a rock and die

Help me please....

Jenny

[tiredenglishwoma...]

You have just described ME jennyb!!!!
I scan sympathise...................truly........
Sue xxxxxxxx

[tiredenglishwoma...]

can, not, scan, sorry xxxxxxxxxx

[plumeria]

Jenny,

I think many of us can identify with what you are going through. For me, when I am at my worst with those I love, I ask myself, are my symptoms any better when I alienate the people I love, and if I die tomorrow, do I want them to remember me this way? I know its hard, and there are days when everything and everyone gets on my nerve (thank God this doesn't occur as often). My poor daughter gets the brunt of my anger at times and then I feel so bad and start crying... sometimes I think I am such a bad Mom.

Can you get any medical help? For me, I found a wonderful naturopath doctor that put me on numerous supplements and bioidentical hormones. While being on this regimen doesn't get rid of all the physical and emotional symptoms, all of them are far better and less severe.

I think you have come to the right place and all the ladies her are wonderful. Do take care.

Plumeria

[mel24]

what was I like before this all started. Had so much energy. With 3 boys I needed. Loved to play baseball with them practiced soccer. I would clean the house, cook, do laundry. And still keep up with everything life through at me. Now all I want to do is keep busy so I will not have to think about feeling anxious or worrying all the time the I am going crazy, I don't feel like doing anything when I come home from work. I want my old self back. So I can enjoy being with my boys

[sistergoldenhair]

What was I like? Good question. Was I like my mother? My father? It's too easy to set aside the shy, introverted, darkly sarcastic, analytic, hyper-intelligent, easily bored, excruciatingly melancholy, predictably decisive person I am in private and embrace that created personality that can captivate a room. I certainly like her better. She knows a little about everything, but not too much. Always appropriately overdressed, never a scuff, chip, smear, stain or run. What about the corporate wife? She's pretty cool. Three different lengths of little black dresses. To bring a purse or not bring a purse. Hair up or down, near face or out of it. Stay a quarter of a step behind my husband, wait fo him to introduce me. Laugh at his jokes, touch his arm/hand/shoulder affectionately when he offers me a drink or a chair. What a lovely evening that was, darling. How about me as "mom"? That 20 year old pajama set with the teddy bears in sailboats...that's a sexy number. Saturday morning pancakes, 1:00 a.m science projects, projectile vomit, cloth diapers...yes, I used cloth diapers...pureeing whatever I can get my hands on when there's nothing in the house for a baby to eat. Wednesday night concoction night. Tae Kwon Do, Guitar Lessons, Gymnastics, snakes, turtles, guinea pigs, driving lessons...
I know I'm just getting started with this menopause thing. I'm all too aware I'll not be near the warrior goddess I am now in ten days when I'm bent into a pain and depression induced prenatal ball in my bed, wishing the world would stop spinning so I could be hurled into space... I'm not near as patient, not near as longsuffering, not near as humble and not near as agreeable.
I'm experimenting with confrontation. I'm trying out open mindedness. I've even unleashed my hyper-intelligence... I haven't said grace before dinner in a week and I haven't choked yet! I'm thinking for, standing up for and looking out for MYSELF because nobody has so far, and nobody seems to be going to in the near future.

[sistergoldenhair]

Wii, your short entry says so much! I was addicted to compliance until this past Christmas. I still struggle, but it's geting easier. I would do absolutely anything to avoid a confrontation or disagreement. I would go hungry, thirsty, hot, cold, sleep deprived... I would never eat the last serving of something, or take the last seat available... Without going into it, I made a decision that I would spend Christmas alone with myself and my cats before I would endure another "awkward" Christmas across the table of fellowship with my sister-in-law's estranged, rude, foul mouthed, arrogant, lazy, verbally and physically abusive husband. Ten plus years of this...I was done. I told my husband my plans to not join in the "festivities". I told him that every one was welcom to come to OUR house and enjoy a fun afternoon of eating, visiting, games lots of fun. The short of a very hurtful story is, they - my in-laws - declined my invitation to a special dinner and activities and called me "Quirky" among other things. When my husband asked me why I was "having such a hard time". I knew I'd finally hit a nerve. I was looking out for me. I wrote MY NAME on my restaurant leftovers and told my family whoever ate this would suffer!! I am becoming the woman I'd always wanted to be.

I guess to the world I was compliant yet miserable. Now, post MP I am just miserable. I can't be bothered to be compliant anymore all that did was make me MORE miserable.

[coastergirl]

Hi everyone. This is all very new to me. I was just told yesterday my by ob/gyn that I have entered the door to peri.

It came out of no where. Basically 30 days ago (coincidentially 1 week before my 53rd birthday), I woke up 8 nights straight multiple times per nite drenched in sweat. That stopped as abruptly as it started, and then I started having buzzing and whoosing sounds in my head at nite instead. That went away and next came feeling lightheaded/dizzy off and on thru out the day. That went away, and then I would notice my feet felt tingly/ or my arms and hands. I'm not sleeping straight thru the nite like I have done my entire life. I've never been moody or emotional. A stupid tv show can make me feel like I'm going to blubber......how embarrassing! My memory and thinking has always been sharp and clear. Now I'm having trouble multi tasking. I'm tired now, but I had lots of energy and strength just alittle over 1 month ago.

I'm very fitness oriented, never smoked, and I drank alcohol once in a blue moon. I've never had weight issues, and I rarely ever taken medication. I think I've had an antibiotic maybe 4 times in my entire life. I have always been very very healthy. No colds, flu, stuff like that.

So, I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now. Each morning/day and evening seems to bring some strange new physical sensation.

My dr drew blood yesterday, basically checking out my entire metabolic panel, CBC, thyroid, and FSH and estri something. I had a terrible night last nite. Woke up 3 times with my heart racing. I thought how weird........ I have an aerobic heart rate, and I'm not exercising!!!!! UGH!

[tiredenglishwoma...]

Yes!!! Exactly!! My energys gone outta the window and my iinsomnia is every nite now!! Dizziness, lightheadedness, palps, sickness, etc etc.....................all these things just seemed to appear overnite???...................Or, does it just happen overnite??? Maybe this has been creeping up on me and I dint want to take any notice???
Any ideas???
Sue xxxxxxxxxx

[mydarling]

Yes!!! Exactly!! My energys gone outta the window and my iinsomnia is every nite now!! Dizziness, lightheadedness, palps, sickness, etc etc.....................all these things just seemed to appear overnite???...................Or, does it just happen overnite??? Maybe this has been creeping up on me and I dint want to take any notice???
Any ideas???
Sue xxxxxxxxxx

Hi ladies,


Yep, that's how it all happened for me too....OVERNIGHT! From what I've been able to pick up from a lot of the women here, that's not unusual, so, join the club. Yeah, I used to be a normal person, now I feel so abnormal. I too want to just hide, and sleep. I'm afriad to wake each morning, afraid of what I'll find today! Since January I've been through hell, literally. Every single day brought something new, and scary. Like an onslaught. I never in my life thought this would happen, I htought the "change" came slowly...HA HA HA...yeah, right. Where did I get that idea from? TV maybe? but, for me, and apparently lots of women here, it came overnight. In one way, I've changed drastically, and yet, in some ways, I like the change. I am much more stressed out now, much more nervous about my health, much more fearfull of death, and having anxiety attacks all the time. I've never had to rely on drugs, now I have to take xanax daily! This really has been depressing. I was never "miss energy", but this lack of energy now, is ridiculous. Things I used to like, I don't now. I've lost interest in so many things. I too get the dizziness, palpatations, head pressure.....etc......and they seem to come on like an avalanche! No time to catch your breath.

I can remember the person I used to be, and I miss her. I wish she'd come back.......................

Sincerely, MyDarling

[simba2]

Hi ladies,
Yep, that's how it all happened for me too....OVERNIGHT! From what I've been able to pick up from a lot of the women here, that's not unusual, so, join the club. Yeah, I used to be a normal person, now I feel so abnormal. I too want to just hide, and sleep. I'm afriad to wake each morning, afraid of what I'll find today! Since January I've been through hell, literally. Every single day brought something new, and scary. Like an onslaught. I never in my life thought this would happen, I htought the "change" came slowly...HA HA HA...yeah, right. Where did I get that idea from? TV maybe? but, for me, and apparently lots of women here, it came overnight. In one way, I've changed drastically, and yet, in some ways, I like the change. I am much more stressed out now, much more nervous about my health, much more fearfull of death, and having anxiety attacks all the time. I've never had to rely on drugs, now I have to take xanax daily! This really has been depressing. I was never "miss energy", but this lack of energy now, is ridiculous. Things I used to like, I don't now. I've lost interest in so many things. I too get the dizziness, palpatations, head pressure.....etc......and they seem to come on like an avalanche! No time to catch your breath.

I can remember the person I used to be, and I miss her. I wish she'd come back.......................

Sincerely, MyDarling

To MyDarling and sisters in menopause, I am just trying to cling on to the memory of what I was like before my ovaries started to shut down over two years ago at age fifty. I am angry that all of this has hit me when I feel I had, over the years hit my peak in terms of confidence. Now I feel I am travelling backwards whereas before I was travelling forwards, if that makes any sense! I have to remind myself that it is the cascade of hormones that come into play that are causing all of these very unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms. With me it happened with a big crash as I hit my final period. I looked in the mirror and it was like aging very quickly in a matter of months. I am still looking for the answers because I dont want to be like this for the rest of my life. I want to know what the secret is with these women who never seem to change, women on the political stage for instance, I am intrigued how they keep going at such a high level - why dont they let us in on their secrets or are they just darned lucky? Thanks for the support of this wonderful site. Simba 2, U.K.