What Were You Like Before Menopause Started? Options

[Onslow147]

Hi Maxxy
In my younger years I suffered a lot with ''depression" - I put it in inverted commas because I hate labelling feelings as a disease. I went through three separate episodes over about fifteen years and in each case received antidepressant medication - the last time the doctor really talked me into taking it again. After a year of feeling no sadness or anxiety - instead a nothingness - I decided to take myself off it because I wanted to feel again. I went through hell for a couple of months until it was out of my system. I used that time to research a lot, read a lot - work out why I seemed vulnerable to depression - even as a child I was melancholy at times.
Then after years of self awareness I decided that's who I am - I have my ups and downs - quite a few downs, but I do find that when I'm having a sad time it is usually instigated by circumstances with which my heart and soul are not comfortable. I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to really take a look at my life and make the changes necessary to set me back on track - in most cases it works - I feel like it is my soul crying out to me to find my true purpose rather than going along in automatic. I know everyone's experience is so different and under no circumstances would I want to say what to do - it's just an observation.
I think some of the natural alternatives help - I use the rescue remedy myself. The best thing for me is to be really self aware so that when the initial feelings come up I really address them, rather than waiting until it takes over my life.
I too stopped periods about two years ago and have a random bleed every now and then just to remind me what I'm missing out on! I also feel at times my period is about to come - I guess the hormones are really having a tug of war!
My best wishes to you.

'

[datadame]

I miss the person I used to be, before perimenopause.

I was confident, had seemingly inexhaustible energy, was generally happy, coped well in almost any stressful situation, and was able to really roll with the punches.

Then came peri.

Some days, I'm all of the above again. Other days, though, seemingly half the time or more, I'm fearful, sad, lonely, anxious, blue, and sometimes just to keep things interesting, irrationally angry at nothing/no one. It feels like I'm living life from the bottom of a dark dank well. I hate it.

I sure hope that I get myself back once I've moved all the way through peri into menopause.

[isolde]

Lisa - thanks so much for answering - you are so right - I know deep down somewhere in my soul all that 'image' stuff is very superficial - but it defined me as someone who took great pride in herself. Never to the detriment of others either - my husband and kids always came first but I was never far behind.
Now I feel they are out in front - my husband works in television and radio and everyone knows him - he is very handsome with olive skin which doesn't wrinkle - and when I go out with him I feel like I look so much older (I am only a year older than him).
I know that shouldn't be important but that's how I feel.
My daughter is a performer - I am so proud of her but she is really image conscious and sometimes tells me I need to be more flamboyant as I am now very conservative - but I feel I don't have the personality to match.
My son's sport career is really taking off and I am so happy for him.
None of these things could have happened for them the way they have without my input, support and encouragement - I truly am the engine room. That should be enough - me just knowing that and feeling proud - but somewhere along the line I got left out of the equation. I am the invisible wife and mother whose heart is breaking.
Despite all this there is a tremor of excitement at what this enormous surge of feelings will bring about - obviously I am trying to tell myself something!!
Love Vicki xxx

[isolde]

Vicki,

I hear everything you are saying but the biggest thing that jumps out are the last lines. I sometimes think that this must be just like when as girls we were transitioning from childhood to womanhood. For me there were lots of hard days. Days when I felt like I didn't fit in, days when my friends began to feel like strangers, days when I looked at myself in the mirror and realised it wasn't my style but I didn't know what my style was. All those days peppered through adolescence but somehow one day it started to fit. I began to realise who I was, what was my style, what were my strengths and life took off full and plenty. We tend to forget those times don't we? Now is just another time of transition maybe harder but then we older and wiser and more capable, aren't we? I am about 4 or 5 years into this perimenopause. Symptoms are getting worse but I have a feeling I'm getting closer to the end and that's what I hold onto. Someone told me that in some ancient cultures this time in a womans life would be recognised and she would have taken herself off away from her family and responsibilities untill she felt the time was right. When she returned, she was treated as a wise woman. Wouldn't that be nice? Just remember to be nice to yourself. The family are not out ahead of you they are way behind. You are the engine and are taking a new direction, they will follow later but you are the real power and wisdom in the family. It was always the way. If you can try to hold onto that feeling and sense of great adventure and keep your chin up. This website is a godsend and will help. Lots of hugs.

[Onslow147]

Vicki,

I hear everything you are saying but the biggest thing that jumps out are the last lines. I sometimes think that this must be just like when as girls we were transitioning from childhood to womanhood. For me there were lots of hard days. Days when I felt like I didn't fit in, days when my friends began to feel like strangers, days when I looked at myself in the mirror and realised it wasn't my style but I didn't know what my style was. All those days peppered through adolescence but somehow one day it started to fit. I began to realise who I was, what was my style, what were my strengths and life took off full and plenty. We tend to forget those times don't we? Now is just another time of transition maybe harder but then we older and wiser and more capable, aren't we? I am about 4 or 5 years into this perimenopause. Symptoms are getting worse but I have a feeling I'm getting closer to the end and that's what I hold onto. Someone told me that in some ancient cultures this time in a womans life would be recognised and she would have taken herself off away from her family and responsibilities untill she felt the time was right. When she returned, she was treated as a wise woman. Wouldn't that be nice? Just remember to be nice to yourself. The family are not out ahead of you they are way behind. You are the engine and are taking a new direction, they will follow later but you are the real power and wisdom in the family. It was always the way. If you can try to hold onto that feeling and sense of great adventure and keep your chin up. This website is a godsend and will help. Lots of hugs.

Thank you - just what I needed to hear!!
It's funny how we know it deep down but it's what around us that we listen to.
I so wish women - older women - were more valued in our society - instead they are put aside and aren't even allowed to be seen in the media for fear of losing the viewers!! Oh if only they knew that it's those who have really lived life who we are truly drawn to - the beauty lasts a moment and then the lack of depth is apparent.
I also feel there is a creative side to all of us that we never get the time to explore - about three years ago I was playing around and drawing and I ended up drawing the most beautiful girl - I swear I have never drawn in my life and when I looked at the finished picture I was truly astonished. I found it hard to believe it came from me. Ever since I have wanted to draw or paint but that takes time - I need lessons because I don't even know how to mix watercolours etc., and I keep saying "one day" .... I have such a yearning to run away and I don't think it's to get away from my family - just to create enough space and time that I can listen to what God is trying to tell me.
Does anyone else have a creative urge?

[JES80]

Onslow...I like to dabble with photography...mostly scenery stuff. But I can't seem to stay focused right now to get into it again. Having trouble getting my motivation up again!
I seem to be wanting to do the running away thing more then anything at the moment...just kind of tired of going thru this crap ya know. Running away seems like the only thing that makes sense...but I know that can't happen!!

[Onslow147]

Hi JES80
Thanks for answering - perhaps the running away urge is telling us to step outside our normal routine and do something different.
I always find a holiday away from the home tends to put everything in more perspective - great opportunity to do your photography!!
When I leave my routine I see everything so much more clearly and usually set about making changes when I get home.

[maxxy]

Hi Maxxy
In my younger years I suffered a lot with ''depression" - I put it in inverted commas because I hate labelling feelings as a disease. I went through three separate episodes over about fifteen years and in each case received antidepressant medication - the last time the doctor really talked me into taking it again. After a year of feeling no sadness or anxiety - instead a nothingness - I decided to take myself off it because I wanted to feel again. I went through hell for a couple of months until it was out of my system. I used that time to research a lot, read a lot - work out why I seemed vulnerable to depression - even as a child I was melancholy at times.
Then after years of self awareness I decided that's who I am - I have my ups and downs - quite a few downs, but I do find that when I'm having a sad time it is usually instigated by circumstances with which my heart and soul are not comfortable. I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to really take a look at my life and make the changes necessary to set me back on track - in most cases it works - I feel like it is my soul crying out to me to find my true purpose rather than going along in automatic. I know everyone's experience is so different and under no circumstances would I want to say what to do - it's just an observation.
I think some of the natural alternatives help - I use the rescue remedy myself. The best thing for me is to be really self aware so that when the initial feelings come up I really address them, rather than waiting until it takes over my life.
I too stopped periods about two years ago and have a random bleed every now and then just to remind me what I'm missing out on! I also feel at times my period is about to come - I guess the hormones are really having a tug of war!
My best wishes to you.

'

Hi.

Yes, our hormones are having a tug a war...and guess what...estrogen is losing big time.

I too, have thought a lot about why I suffer from depression. I have since my early 20's. At that time I was too afraid to tell anyone how I was feeling so I went through a lot of crappy years without treatment.

Over the past few years I have done a lot of research,( thanks to the internet,) on depression and anxiety. I have started to look for ways to help myself. I do yoga and breathing exercises, which help a lot. I have also learned to accept how I am feeling and not let it totally control me or my life. I have just recently started to get out of the house more, whether or not I am feeling not so great. I am tired of hiding in my bedroom waiting to feel better. I force myself to go out and be around people. And guess what....I do feel better eventually.

I have recently heard that Botox might be a possible treatment for depression. I am in the process of checking it out because....hey, you can get rid of wrinkles and depression at the same time. What a bonus!

[JES80]

Onslow, I did take a leap of faith this past July with doing something I would have never done years ago. And truthfully this internet talking stuff is something I've only starting doing since about May of last year. But I am sooo glad I've given it a try.
After making a friend on the internet we were invited to come see them...we live on the east coast...they live on the west coast. I decided to follow my instincts and go visit. We took the cross country drive to get there.
Although me and my new friend talk on the phone and live in the emails to one another I was still nervous about meeting face to face.
Well, I can now honestly say God knows what he's doing when he guides people together. Our visit with one another was wonderful and we had the best week I have had in a very long time. It broke my heart to have to leave and put that distance between us again...I cried like a baby for that.
BUT, we know God has his reasons for putting us together like he has and we are accepting that as best as possible. She is a few years older than I am and that makes it fit perfectly for me...so I will accept that we are so far apart. Thank goodness for cell phones and free minutes.
On my journey, I did get to take lots of photos and I now have some things to get me back interested in my hobby again in due time.

I have tried to come home with a new sense of new beginnings again and make some changes around the home here, but some days are just so difficult that I don't even want to try.
I do know what you mean tho about TRYING to make changes, it may help if I can just get motivated again!!!

[green pastures s...]

Onslow, I did take a leap of faith this past July with doing something I would have never done years ago. And truthfully this internet talking stuff is something I've only starting doing since about May of last year. But I am sooo glad I've given it a try.
After making a friend on the internet we were invited to come see them...we live on the east coast...they live on the west coast. I decided to follow my instincts and go visit. We took the cross country drive to get there.
Although me and my new friend talk on the phone and live in the emails to one another I was still nervous about meeting face to face.
Well, I can now honestly say God knows what he's doing when he guides people together. Our visit with one another was wonderful and we had the best week I have had in a very long time. It broke my heart to have to leave and put that distance between us again...I cried like a baby for that.
BUT, we know God has his reasons for putting us together like he has and we are accepting that as best as possible. She is a few years older than I am and that makes it fit perfectly for me...so I will accept that we are so far apart. Thank goodness for cell phones and free minutes.
On my journey, I did get to take lots of photos and I now have some things to get me back interested in my hobby again in due time.

I have tried to come home with a new sense of new beginnings again and make some changes around the home here, but some days are just so difficult that I don't even want to try.
I do know what you mean tho about TRYING to make changes, it may help if I can just get motivated again!!!

[green pastures s...]

I just got the hang of posting a reply. Sorry for the previous one. I just wanted to add that art has been a big boost for me personally. Back in 1995 I started taking drawing and painting classes at my local community college. It helped me get through each day. Was it easy all the time to put something down on paper--absolutely not. But, it helped me get things out when I could not talk with anyone or write in my journal. I have not been in any art classes since spring of 2000. Since then there have been months when I could not even get myself to pick up a pencil to draw. I let myself know that that was okay. I was and still am gentle with myself. I now have my own art studio. I am 58 years old, in post meno and have symptoms up the whazoo. I have met many wonderful women going thru meno since I have started my journey into art. We all have found a common healing ground and walk beside each other every step of the way. Any one of you CAN draw, paint, etc. We are created in the image of God and have His DNA in us. Thus, our inner drive to be creative in some way throughout our lives. So, ladies, go for the art--drawing, painting, etc. Myself, I love using various mediums in the same piece--ink, graphite, charcol, pastels--makes for some very interesting stuff. Collage is great also--helps to use all those articles, pieces of your written journals, color swatches of things--really cool creative stuff. Hope this encourages some of you to pursue the arts. It is an incredibly delicious journey despite the throws of menopause.

J

[denise520]

before all the peri?... hhmmm... well i know i probably had a better memory.... i cant remember... i think i had more hair..... other then the extra ones i grow on my chin and lip... sometimes my nose too...(ya think i am turning into a witch)... i never knew mascara ran as much as it does... seems that crying for no apparent reason shows the quality of makeup... rage... huh? well is that what this is?... i just thought it was me being like my mother( according to my hubby)... wait a minute.... i know i use to be 60 pounds heavier.. smoked 2 packs a day... and was a walking caffienne store... 7 grandes a day and about 8 mountain dew.... well i have quit all that... yes it has helped with alot of my peri symptoms.... but i think people thought that i was more fun 8 months ago..... oh well i now think i am more calm and in tune to what is going on around me....even though i have brain fog!!!! i like the new me... but sometimes i wish i didnt have the pains and aches and depression and all the anxiety... but when all this peri is done kicking my ass.... i will be ready for anything!!!!! love denise

[Onslow147]

Hi Jes80 - how wonderful you met with your online buddy and you connected in person - that doesn't always happen!
I know what you mean about not wanting to try - I have so much building up around me that needs to be attended to - but it is so time consuming and involves enthusiasm - most of which is used up with family events and goings on. Sometimes I think perhaps they need to go away for a week and then I can go crazy at home and get to everything - no matter what time of day or night - just upend the house and then start again. When they're all around me I just don't get a lot of time to start working on changes. Even my thoughts are interrupted constantly with their words. What is it with the kids and their Dad asking me what the time is, what the date is, when is this happening etc., - I now tell them my brain is worn out and they have to use their neurons to work things out - I am not a clock or a calendar or a diary! Sorry I raved just then - felt good.

[booboolena1]

Wow, great thought provoking question
Lets see, before meno I had energy to boot, working an 8 hour day, exercising, doing laundry, etc, etc. I was always working on some project or another around my sweet little aging house that I bought 9 years ago. My two daughters were active and I kept up with them most of the time.

Now.....I drag my butt through the work day (even cut down to a four day week), hardly have energy to go for a walk, and my house is unfinished project central. My motivation seems directly linked to me hormones, so what else is new?! But alas, lately I have glimpses of the old Micki, my energy rebounds and I am motivated to clean and organize as I once did and my house begins to feel and reflect my desire for peace and order.

Mood-wise, I like to say that I've "found my voice." Boy have I ever, especially in my relationships. Now I'm learning to be less judgemental and forgiving, not take everything so personal. Really, the journey through mid-life is amazing and has many lessons. I know once the dust settles, the symptoms abate, I will be that wise woman I am currently growing towards. Ta-da!

[taking a pause]

Before Menopause, I would worry about being somewhere and then starting my period...you know on vacation, swimming..couldn't plan anything around those period days. NOW, I don't have to worry about where I am at or when to plan my vacation. I am menopausal and my teenage daughter is going through all those things I used to worry about...she is a constant reminder of how things were before menopause. I hope that I can show her what menopause would be on a better note. I try very hard to control those mood swings, even though they are few and far inbetween. NO hot flashes before menopause and now I could use a fan where ever I go...pads? tampax? fan? In that order. In many ways I too feel quite liberated, I really wasnt so liberated before menopause. I am more about telling it like it is, not taking any crap from anyone and these signs are not about moods, they are about being liberated in who I have become...tolerance is less, but liberated is more. I kind of like the new me and feel as if I can do just about anything. The symptoms of menopause are always there, depends on what day they want to display themselves to remind me of my age or what era I am in my life. I am learning to take a few extra moments for myself and to do the things I enjoy doing today and not the things I used to do before menopause....I have changed and with menopause, I changed again. They say change is good...I think I am starting to beleive that. In the meantime I will continue to watch my daughter through my own eyes and relive life before menopause....and with menopause I will show my daughter that hey!!! it isnt too bad because a few good things became of it....take what you have and turn it into somthing good for yourself. I will deal with the Hot flashes, the night sweats, the achy joints and muscle aches but I am not going to let this stuff bring me down....I'll take a pause while I can and keep enjoying life.

[anxiouslady]

onslow147

Just wanted to tell you tht I read your posts on this site, and that you seem so in touch with your feelings and thoughts. I am sorry that you are going through these feelings of not being what you used to be, but from the way that you write, I think you will come out on the other side as an even more beautiful person. I just wish it could happen faster for all of us.

anxiouslady

[green pastures s...]

Takingapause

Bravo!!!!!

[Onslow147]

Before Menopause, I would worry about being somewhere and then starting my period...you know on vacation, swimming..couldn't plan anything around those period days. NOW, I don't have to worry about where I am at or when to plan my vacation. I am menopausal and my teenage daughter is going through all those things I used to worry about...she is a constant reminder of how things were before menopause. I hope that I can show her what menopause would be on a better note. I try very hard to control those mood swings, even though they are few and far inbetween. NO hot flashes before menopause and now I could use a fan where ever I go...pads? tampax? fan? In that order. In many ways I too feel quite liberated, I really wasnt so liberated before menopause. I am more about telling it like it is, not taking any crap from anyone and these signs are not about moods, they are about being liberated in who I have become...tolerance is less, but liberated is more. I kind of like the new me and feel as if I can do just about anything. The symptoms of menopause are always there, depends on what day they want to display themselves to remind me of my age or what era I am in my life. I am learning to take a few extra moments for myself and to do the things I enjoy doing today and not the things I used to do before menopause....I have changed and with menopause, I changed again. They say change is good...I think I am starting to beleive that. In the meantime I will continue to watch my daughter through my own eyes and relive life before menopause....and with menopause I will show my daughter that hey!!! it isnt too bad because a few good things became of it....take what you have and turn it into somthing good for yourself. I will deal with the Hot flashes, the night sweats, the achy joints and muscle aches but I am not going to let this stuff bring me down....I'll take a pause while I can and keep enjoying life.

Wow, taking a pause - well said. I have a teenage daughter also - and I was a teenager when my mum went through the same things - made for some very volatile moments. I would love to hear more about women going through this with teenage daughters and how they're coping. My daughter and I have had a turbulent time - she had terrible trouble with her periods - bleeding constantly so we put her on the pill as her iron was so low and she had already suffered from glandular fever. Well she was on the pill for two years from age 14 to 16 and it was a struggle. She went through so many issues from being bullied to self hatred - also tried cutting herself. I was at my wits end when someone mentioned to me the pill can cause severe mental and emotional side effects. So began another online journey like this one where I discovered hundreds of girls and women who had major changes after going on the pill, many suicidal. We took her off it three months ago and it is a miracle - we have our girl back - full of mischief and love - I can't begin to tell you the change.
Obviously the pill really upset her hormones to the point where emotionally she became this absolute stranger - this brings me back to where we are - hormones are changing and causing emotional issues. After what I have seen with the pill I am trying to stay as healthy and natural as possible so I don't confuse the symptoms.
The other amazing thing is that my daughter can detect when I am having a hot flush - even when she's not looking at me or sitting right next to me - she says she 'senses' it. Wow would I like to know more about these connections women have!! Thanks again and thanks anxiouslady for your words.

Love Vicki

[isolde]

On the days when I get clarity about what matters I sometimes (only sometimes) make good decisions. On Thursday I decided to go take a train journey and visit my Mum and Aunt on her birthday. My sister came along and we spent the day with them. Just us four. The two older women 82 and 77 and the two younger 48 and 46. It was just the most fantastic time and the nicest day I've had for ages. We talked and laughed and reminisced and boy do they have stories on menopause which I had never heard but then I never asked! My mum went through the menopause without noticing because my Dad had died suddenly and the shock stopped her period........ she doesn't remember any particular symptoms because the time was one of grief and shock and it's difficult to separate them. My Aunt though had just the worst time, she remembers eventually getting some hormone replacement that came from cows ? Anyone ever heard of that? The thing is my Mum at 82 is much fitter and healthier than her sister who is 7 years younger and I can't help wondering if that's significant and if at the end of the day we need to keep it as natural as possible for future health? Any thoughts?

Isolde

[JES80]

Remember how you would get that "feel good" feeling after having a day that was really good, or after spending time with someone and you felt really good afterwards and it would last what seemed like a pretty long time??? It just made you feel good overall for quite a while!!!
It seems like to me that "feel good" feeling doesn't last as long anymore. It's doesn't hang around long enough to reflect on and keep you going like it used to. Doesn't seem to take long to fall back into that blah feeling. Can't seem to stay "charged" off the good feeling anymore. Does this make sense??

That's kind of where I'm at right now...just kind of BLAH feeling.

My mom is 78 and really doesn't remember how she was going through meno. I remember some of it....wasn't pretty at all. They say you can guage yourself by when and how your mom was!! Not sure if I really believe that or not. However, I do remember that my mom was about my age going through her journey. I have an older sister (6yrs), she's just about at the end of hers...but she hasn't had to deal with much stuff. So we're nothing alike. She has told me to keep my stress to a minimum....yeh...right....NOT likely with my job.

I often wonder if our personalities also have something to do with how we're gonna react to things during the meno journey!!!

[isolde]

Jes 80 - sorry you're feeling blah. I know that one! However, this feel good day happened when I had given up on life, love, friends, family etc etc etc. Life is like that. Just when you've given up something happens and it feels good. Hope you have a good day soon. Blah is only temporary. Look up and smile Good days happen when you're least expecting them. Be good to yourself and gentle with those around you so you are open when time decides its your turn ! Does that make sense? Isolde

[JES80]

I hear you Isolde...
Don't get me wrong, I do find some ways of getting out and enjoying myself some, its just that the "feel good" part of it doesn't seem to last as long as it used to. Maybe it IS because I'm older now and it won't be the same as it used to be...who knows...
I have some pretty good days for the most part, but the blahs do tend to hang around more than usual!!

[fluff]

Well....I'm sure glad that I found this board. Not too sure if it's peri or not but for the last several weeks I have been feeling lightheaded and a little off balance, I also get a period one month and then might skip the next month and then get two the next. I'm almost 45 so I figured maybe it's what happens just before menopause. It's also making my anxiety and panic a lot worse I had all kinds of tests done and they found nothing wrong. The doctor just suggested going on xanax or buspar. I'm afraid to take it though. Think I may have to though! I was sitting here at my computer and all at once I felt a change and then my ears started hurting and my neck felt week and my heart raced up and I felt flesh all over and now my head wont stop shaking and it's scary and annoying Has anyone else ever taken xanax or buspar? If so...did they do the trick?

[JES80]

Fluff, I've not taken any of those two. I've tried to find herb or suppliments that would help with my depression and axiety before turning to the doc for help. Just not ready to face the doc about this yet I think.
Anyway, I've been taking something called 5HTP for about 3 weeks now and it does seem to get me back on an even keal again. I will continue with taking this until it just doesn't work for me anymore!!

...and yes, it does sound like you're in the stages of Peri!!!

[fluff]

Thanks JES80 and I too have tried herbs but they don't seem to do much for me, at least not the way I want them to work I never heard of 5HTP. Maybe I will give that a try hopefully it will work for me as well. Anyways....I just hope that once I go through menopause all these scary symptoms just go away

[roseruth]

Lets see what was I like before menopause. Happy, contented with my life with my children and husband.

Although I never received cramps when I was getting my period, which is a good thing. I never had a very heavy or light flow either. I used to be ummm bitchy towards my family right before I received my period.

For the past year my periods would be irregular. I would go 2 or 3 months with out having one then all of a sudden I have my menstrual for 8 days.

It has been about 3 months now that I have been getting hot flashes. It starts on my face, traveling down to my chest, arms, legs and I feel like I am on fire. It lasts about one or two minutes then I get a cold chill. then I would be fine for 20 min or so and then it would happen again. Its driving me crazy!

I do have headaches and dizzy spells. And since we are all girls here my sex drive has gone through the roof. I never felt this way before. It is all I think about.

Now I am feeling very emotional. I feel like crying and depressed. I try to stay calm with my children who are teenagers by the way. And instead get upset with my husband very easily.

Hopefully reading many of these posts I will have a way of coping with all the changes that my body is experiencing right now.

And thanks for taking the time to listen to what I had to say.

[Hearmom]

Lets see what was I like before menopause. Happy, contented with my life with my children and husband.

Although I never received cramps when I was getting my period, which is a good thing. I never had a very heavy or light flow either. I used to be ummm bitchy towards my family right before I received my period.

For the past year my periods would be irregular. I would go 2 or 3 months with out having one then all of a sudden I have my menstrual for 8 days.

It has been about 3 months now that I have been getting hot flashes. It starts on my face, traveling down to my chest, arms, legs and I feel like I am on fire. It lasts about one or two minutes then I get a cold chill. then I would be fine for 20 min or so and then it would happen again. Its driving me crazy!

I do have headaches and dizzy spells. And since we are all girls here my sex drive has gone through the roof. I never felt this way before. It is all I think about.

Now I am feeling very emotional. I feel like crying and depressed. I try to stay calm with my children who are teenagers by the way. And instead get upset with my husband very easily.

Hopefully reading many of these posts I will have a way of coping with all the changes that my body is experiencing right now.

And thanks for taking the time to listen to what I had to say.

[Hearmom]

oops. Im new here and thank God I found you guys. I'm 49 and have always been a cheerful, self sufficient, mom and career woman and I am in good shape physically. I started in peri about 3 yrs ago with an occasional hot flash and a few missed periods. No big deal, I thought.
Its been almost one year now since Ihave had a period but am still getting new symptoms!!!
I started getting severe indigestion about a year and a half ago and ended up having my gall bladder removed. Fun!
My teeth have started giving me trouble, always perfect before. Yay!
I wake up sick in the morning sometimes almost like I'm pregnent (I was very sick with my pregnencies.)
But the very most recent symptom is the internal "jitters" that some of you talk about. What is that about!!!???? Its awful!! Its usually in the morning but can be all day. I have never felt so anxious and worried in my life. In the last 2 months I have worried that I had diabetes or some liver disease, since my stomach troubles sometimes end up in diahrea! I used to never worry. Anyway, long story short, I do not have diabetes or any liver disease! And my doctor, bless him, suggested zoloft for the anxiety and ativan for those days when I think I cant go to work I feel so crappy.
I have actually worried that I would have to quit work!! But the zoloft is helping with the jitters, which I think is the worse and I am beginning to feel better. The night that I discovered this board, up late and couldn't sleep, I cried in relief to know that I was not crazy and not alone. Thanks you guys!

[CSugarGrove]

Hearmom, that's exactly how I felt when I stumbled on to PowerSurge over four years ago. At first, I couldn't stop reading the boards, and couldn't believe that all of the things I'd been experiencing were not only the same for many other women, but were being discussed, openly and honestly! What a relief!

There are 34 recognized symptoms of meno, and those are posed on these boards in many different places. I've had the restless legs (and about 33 of the other symptoms), and I think this could be sort of related to the jitters you are having. The jitters could also be caused by anxiety--boy, I remember that! I'd sit at my desk at home to write some letters or some checks, and the anxiety and sweating were so bad I couldn't concentrate. No reason for it, either, except meno.

It's very common to worry about our health now, when we never did before. I didn't do this as much as worry about the safety of my loved ones. I had (still have) such a feeling of impending doom about my husband. I could get myself actually upset, worrying that he'd have a car accident. Talk about foolish. I learned to control this thinking a little by telling myself, to quote one of my good friends, "There is just as much of a chance that the outcome will be GOOD as BAD." She was right. My husband always gets home safe and sound, so I think, "You wasted all that time getting yourself worked up, and nothing happened."

[Jubilee]

Hi Guys, I'm new here, posting all over the place, I think. Before menopause -- Well, I was actually looking forward to getting older, believe it or not. My 20's and 30's had been stressful decades (children, bad marriage, school, career), and I recall being very happy on my 40th birthday (I even got a tattoo!).

My 40's had been my best decade, for the most part. My adolescence had been miserable (I was a melancholy, surly, withdrawn, anti-social wreck as a teenager), and I always felt life was getting better and better, not worse. Plus, my own mother had locked herself in her bedroom and cried all day on HER 40th birthday, and I vowed I wasn't going to behave like that (hence, I went out and partied, and tattooed myself, LOL!).

I stopped having periods when I was 48 years old. Before that, they had been irregular for about 2 years, so I was overjoyed to be through with that nonsense! And I had not experienced any bad physical symptoms whatsoever. I had felt Hot Flashes occasionally, but they were simply sudden warm flushes, no sweats, nothing bad at all. My teenage daughter (the only child still left at home) said that maybe my excitement about growing older was the very reason I wasn't having any physical problems with it.

Hmmmmm. Don't tempt the Gods, and all that. Because, at the age of 50, my body decided to go haywire. After 2 years of no periods, I started again. Not only that, but it seems like I have every symptom a person could think of (except the Hot Flashes -- for some reason, that isn't happening again, and was never bad in the first place).

Probably the weirdest thing for me (besides having periods when I shouldn't be having periods) is my sleep cycle. I've never been an energetic person, even when I was a young girl (lazy might be a good word to describe me, but I won't.....). Plus, I work part-time doing 12 hour night shifts in a hospital. 7 pm to 7 am. But I've always been able to cope with working nights, sleeping a bit during the day, and never worried about it. I knew that some days I would feel like a slug, until I felt rested enough to tackle any projects for the week.

But now -- I'm even more fatigued and slug-like than ever! I can't stay asleep when I sleep, and I can't stay awake when I'm awake. I worry about going into work, knowing I have no guarantee that I will be rested enough to do a good job. Add to that the fact that once again I'm having to haul tampons and pads in a large shoulder bag to the workplace with no idea whether I'll need them that day or not. Blech, I thought I was done with this!

So, instead of bragging that I'm Post-Menopausal and glad of it, I now find myself being Peri-menopausal with a vengence. Good grief!